When Did You Realize Your Friends Are Bad People? (r/AskReddit) 

Why do so many popular kids in high school assume that college will be no different? Even if it was, which it isn't, you would literally be the new kid on campus. Since when is the new kid the most popular kid?

When she left me behind in the garden for over 6,000 years.

My old friends never grew up from high school, so they would constantly commit some serious crimes and their excuse was, "keeping it real" or some variation of it, plus, when I realized hanging with them was effecting my health and sanity, I cut them off with the quickness and never looked back

This was my highschool life. I had the car so automatically I was invited to things and I would be the bad guy if I didn't want to go. I can remember their faces when they finally realized I grew a spine

Me and my "bestie" were both among a group of students auditioning for an available solo in a college choir class. I got the solo. The others congratulated me, but she disappeared. When I went outside I saw her slumped against the wall next to the door, crying about it and complaining how unfair it was to a mutual friend outside. She was 25. And already had three solos. Whenever solos were available, the interested students came up to audition for it at the end of class. We both were in the group trying for the same solo several times. Sometimes others would win, sometimes one of us won. I'd always cheer no matter who won, and whenever she won I'd cheer extra hard and be happy for her. She never cheered for anyone, but this shocked me.

Re: Prom when I was in highschool, my friends all agreed we'd all go "stag", as a group. I get to where we were being picked up by the limo, everyone has paired off, everyone has a date. Except me. No one asked me to dance, no one took pictures with me. I was literally ignored and forgotten by everyone.

My dad was an alcoholic and says that the only way he could stop those habits, was to stay away from the people he did it with. It wasn't personal, he wasn't mad, and I'm sure he misses his old friends, but he chose him. I'm proud of him every day for it. 💐❤️

When they bullied a special needs boy. Being special needs myself, I was really hurt. Especially since I was friends with one them. They are twin sisters. Not friends with the other one. The one I was friends with blindsided me. The first day of 8th grade, I was in p.e, none of my friends would talk to me because they wanted to hang with their other friends, she started talking to me.

I was best friends with a girl from 7th grade to 12th, but before high school ended, I had to be done with her. She still treated me ok, but she seemed to go out of her way to be nasty to her other friends. She was attractive, and used that to break up her friends relationships. For example, she would entice her friend's boyfriends or girlfriends to cheat, and then "excuse" it to her friends by saying she had revealed the person's "true colors". I still wonder why she never tried it with my boyfriend. My mom would excuse her behavior by saying my friend was depressed and insecure, and needed a good friend like me. I, however, hated the drama and became so disgusted with my friend's behavior that I no longer cared what happened to her. Last I heard, she really hadn't changed as an adult.

I always get a kick whenever the robot voice calls cocaine and meth "C" and "M." lol it makes me chuckle every time!

They always reminded me that the reason they took me out was because I needed human interaction. Even went as far as telling my sister ( Who they obviously were physically attracted to, but my sister doesn't swing that way plus she has a boyfriend ) that I was their last resort for going out since none of their other friends wanted to go out. We're not friends anymore, what broke everything down for me ( besides multiple emotionally damaging situations and words ) was them not being willing to accept that they possibly were in the wrong by being rude to my sister's boyfriend and his brother. Then tried to override my no and still trying to invite themselves over to my house. I had said no over four times. And they knew exactly how I felt about that. To say the least, we don't talk anymore.

This is why I love college. The realization that in adult life you don't HAVE to be friends with someone hits some people a lot harder than others. Ironically, I learned it in boot camp. Bunch of toxic mf'ers. Didn't matter we were there for 2-6 months, I didn't actually have to like any of them.

These "friends" usually end up alone in the end

"Ran right back into his arms." You need to drop her, too, unless you love toxic drama.

my friends do this "I do know that I did it, but im gonna act like I didn't know to be cool" and try and sound like they know it all, im not all there in the head, got a bike accident that made me a little forgetful, but they sometimes try and trick me to come to a party by saying "this girl came here for you" but I know they are just gonna smoke up all my weed. every time I know their lying, or doing something to act smart, or I know they are using my disabilities as an advantage in arguments, I can't argue like them and im slower in conversations, so what I do is I expose them, and every time I do, they get mad and call me un-trustworthy, and they tell me things like "when have I ever lied to you?" "after all the things you see me be truthful about, you still don't trust me?" "do you think im a liar?", they even call me down by saying im pittyful by saying "you're just using my non-smarts against me" and they say that I make them look bad. they are terrible and im kinda glad i moved where they can't come and find me, or text me to come over and chill.

Can't blame the guy who stopped hanging out with his friends in order to avoid alcohol. He saw that it was a temptation so he did not make it available to him. Not his fault. Maybe he and his friends can set up hang outs that don't involve alcohol.

When I was the only one not to get a present for secret Santa (I’m not materialistic it’s just the principle)

when she hooked up with my best friend's ex..less than 24 hours after they broke up. basically breaking all kinds of girl code. how she thought that was okay was beyond me, especially considering the guy was emotionally abusive

When I moved to a different country and I had one “friend” who I thought was helping me, she seemed so kind. After a few years, I’m teaching myself the language and I overhear her telling everyone that I have “no dignity” because I answer her calls and texts. She was saying hateful things about me because I was actively trying to be a good friend to her (like being interested in her life, wanting to spend time with her, etc.). She didn’t know I understood what she said, as I was teaching myself (even though I had asked for her help and she’d always answer “of course!” But then never help). She only thought of me as needy and a pest, from day 1. It hurt a lot, but I’m better off not trying to go out of my way for as$holes.

When your best man and closest friend’s speech is “Congrats!” then promptly sits down

When I graduated high school I finally was free of them. I move on. The relief. I have my own happy life with real genuine friends. There is one friend from my high school that show that he is my true friend. Only one. It's okay to remove toxic people from your life.

1. Talked about how much she hated my interests (not saying I was dumb for liking them, but it still got to me after a while) 2. We were out at the mall one day and met a few of her Girl Guide friends who went to a different school, so I’d never met them. She later told another mutual friend it was embarrassing to be seen with me. 3. She and another friend talked a lot of shit about me and that same mutual friend. Mutual friend did most of her school work at night because it was easier for her and I just couldn’t learn from textbooks, so they never saw us do school work and were mad that we got better grades than them. 4. Same two also said we were childish. True, but their reasoning didn’t make sense: they said it was because we were, and I’m directly quoting, “too happy”. I still have no idea what that’s supposed to mean. They were complaining about it to another friend of ours (who was more our friend than theirs, but they said it was the opposite no matter what he said), and all he could remember was that since they’d both been diagnosed with depression they’d decided our problems meant nothing. 5. Original friend this was about literally told me that my problems weren’t as bad as hers because I didn’t need medication for it. 6. They both did a really underhanded thing to get us kicked out of a room for our NYC trip (that we never got to go on because COVID, but still), and then when we noticed and asked they blamed US for making it a problem. Said they were going to tell us right before the trip, even though that would have caused a million problems with the hotel because we literally wouldn’t have a room, but we “made it a big deal” by bringing it up beforehand. 7. She defended a dude who was purposely misgendering me. 8. After I cut her out, I realized that I had been masking my entire self for her comfort. She hated my stimming and infodumping from my adhd, she always said I was talking too loud even when I was talking quieter than everyone else, and she’d gotten into my head and basically made me shut up for four years. When you’re happier without someone, it makes you realize in hindsight how bad for you they really were. Bonus: the other friend who did some of this stuff with her was pissed at me after grad because we both applied for valedictorian, neither of us got it, but I got an award for my sample speech about ableism in the school system while she got nothing. She always got mad when I beat her at anything, she was the Queen Bee and I was the weird autistic trans kid no one outside of band liked 😂 (actually, more people liked me than I thought, that was ALSO friend’s influence that made me think that) Sorry this is long, if you made it this far, hi! Have a cookie 🍪

When covid rolled around and everyone went to their home cities from the campus. People stopped replying to my messages. Nobody ever wanted to hang out even if we lived just a stone toss apart. Nobody would awnser my calls. These people were always telling me how much fun I am and how we should def hang out more.. Yeah right. First time I realized I'm really alone. Thank god I have exactly 1 friend who lives an hour away. She visited me when my mental health plummeted. She played switch games with me, helped me while I had to get groceries, and she talks to me on a daily basis.

One i quit being friends with in high school because she hit on my bf at the time, nope! No real friends try to take your man

When they screamed at me for dating a great guy because she wanted to cheat on her boyfriend of 4 years with him it was her boyfriends best friend they all took her side ditched them and made some truly good friends me and boyfriend are jow looking at moving out and starting a family well worth the loss I have gained so much a second family friends that are their for everything thick and thin and people who love me no matter what couldnt be happier

When they placed the wet spoon back into the sugar pot

Having friends later in life is kind of difficult. In the past year/year and a half, I have begun to have new understandings about myself and who I am as a person. I don’t mind admitting that I have tons of personal demons/addictions/addictive behaviors. I have dark humor (and that’s ok). But one of the toughest things to face has been that I don’t have REAL friends. I work 40 plus hours a week. And since we got sent home through the pandemic, it’s been eye opening to see that work WAS my social life. Tons of people are there who tout what good friends they are with me. But people have stopped answering messages and calls altogether. And that’s ok- I don’t judge because things have been tough for everyone I suppose. I don’t even know what I’m meaning to say here. I guess it’s just been difficult not having the life that you thought you would. I do ok. Have a car. A job. Money. Somewhere to live. But then what? I have avoided marriage multiple times in my life. I know it’s because I grew up watching my parents in their miserable loveless marriage. And it wasn’t until I have been established in my adult life that I see that I needed professional training to deal with someone like my father who is legitimately in need of a mental health specialist, medically speaking. I’ve recently come to the opinion that “friends” don’t exist to me. There are just people who weave in and out of your life at times when you’re ready for that kind of person. People grow apart and that’s ok. They jump on different wavelengths of times of their lives. And some just stay on your same wave for good. I really need help but I don’t know where to go. Who to talk to. What to do. There are days when I can’t even get out of bed. And I teach for a living. The entire time I am spending the entire day doing something that is absolutely killing my soul. I hope that anyone that comes across this can have any kind of peace today. Watch a funny show. Maybe take a warm shower or something. Eat something you really like. I don’t know. I don’t know how peace happens. I don’t know how happiness happens.

I sent a sh*tty text to a girl about a year ago. Many months later, near the end of the school year, she decides to expose me for it and my then friends ended up sharing it whilst refusing to let me in on it. Isnatnly got suspicious and backed away from it. Long story short, worst school year despite getting brilliant grades at the end of it.

She would laugh every time someone said something rude about me. Then would not speak to me for Days at a time. Then thought we where friends. Would talk about her emotional issues like it was something to be proud of. Hung out with horrible people. And the counselor thought we where “friends”. Hahaha, no

I had a “best friend” in high school who was nice to me one minute, then horrible the next and that cycle never ceased. I would always be good to her, but she’d turn on me for no apparent reason and be a bully. She’d yell at me, accuse me of things I haven’t done, she once tried to cut up an art project that I’d made and I had to snatch it out of her hands. She acted like a petulant toddler. Plus when she was in one of her bully moods, she and another girl would mock me and talk about me behind my back. They’d be deliberately rude and cold to me, excluding me from any social activities. Can’t believe I even considered her a BFF. A true friend doesn’t act like a true friend one minute and then be a bitch the next! The funny thing is, when she’d be horrible to me and I’d refuse to talk to her, she’d get so mad and yell at me saying she’s sorry and saying I’m pathetic for not forgiving her. You can imagine my shock when she ended up going to the same college as me and I had further issues with her. She’s been like a demon on my back and I’ve only just managed to rid myself of her. I’ve blocked her on social media and never see her face anymore. Good riddance!!

There were many signs, but I was lonely as a teenager. I was never popular, but was friends with a guy who suddenly became popular himself. He seemed to keep inviting me to things out of guilt, because we had been friends for such a long time. I became very ill, and almost died, with undiagnosed type 1 diabetes at age 14 and was in the hospital for 10 days. No one in my school visited me or even contacted me during that time, even though our teacher had told my class where I was. My life sort of went to shit afterwards, because there was so much to do with taking care of my illness, and I felt so poorly the whole time that I wasn’t able to do all the same things the others were doing. The last straw was when he invited me to a festival that cost almost $200. I met up with him, but he was with the popular kids, and they obviously didn’t want me there, but didn’t outright say it. I watched one band play standing next to them, and then went home. Never did anything with him or the others again. Moved out of the country after a while for study and never went back. Haven’t seen them in real life since - just on Facebook. It has actually made me stronger as a person. I’m actually very resistant to loneliness now, and I’m almost immune to bitchy “friend” comments and cut those toxic people out of my life without a second thought. People often find me intimidating now, because I’m so unaffected by things that they think I’m a psycho. Lol 😂

My friend invited me and our other friends over to her house to celebrate the end of the school year. The day was going great- we played around in the pool, had a nice dinner and watched movies. Then it was 11:00 at night and they wanted to go to the neighborhood park. I was excited because I thought we were just going to use the swings and maybe mess around on the slides. Turns out, it was just an excuse to smoke pot somewhere outside. One of my friends pulled out a bong and some weed, and I immediately felt uncomfortable. I don’t care whether people smoke weed or not, as long as I’m not forced to take part. They tried to peer pressure me into smoking pot, but I refused and said I wanted to go back to the house. They wanted to stay at the park and smoke. It was only when I started heading back by myself (in the dark, mind you) that they decided to come back with me. We got back into the house and they sprayed some fragrance to mask the skunky smell. I felt awkward and just wanted the night to end. I woke up early the next morning and just left. I thanked my friend for inviting me over on a text so that I wouldn’t seem rude. That was the last time I went over to her house. The last time I hung out with that group was later in the year during Halloween. It was a different friend’s house, and there were two other friends there whom I hadn’t seen for a long time. I hung out with those two friends for the majorly of the night because they felt as much detached from the group l as was. We hung out in a different room altogether and talked about how different things were. We even went trick-or-treating because everyone else just wanted to stay in the house. Had it not been for those two friends, I would have gone insane. I went home later that night and wondered if it would be the last time I met with my old friend group. I felt very detached since the pot incident. I heard from another friend that there was a sleepover, and she asked me if I was coming. I had not been invited. The sleepover was a going-away party because my friend was moving away. She didn’t even want to say goodbye to me in person. She didn’t text me either. I’m surprised I didn’t get too upset about it because I knew our friendship was coming to a close anyway. We were very different people. Now that it’s been a couple of years, I’ve realized that my friend group was actually toxic. They talked shit about other friends when they weren’t around and did things that put themselves in danger. One of them even provoked a stranger and almost started a fight. I’m glad that they cut me off, because it made me realize that they were not friends.

I wonder what state the girl with the abusive ex is in. I'm absolutely amazed that after abusing the toddler and her going back she still has her child. I was in an abusive relationship and while he never touched my children, when he finally got arrested the cops said if I took him back I could get my children taken away. That was without a restraining order and without me pressing charges. Why the f*** does this b**** still have her child? He hurt your child! Why do you want this man? You are a terrible mother!

When she got into a full blown argument with my sister and starting talking crap about her to me. And wanted me to take her side. Like wtf. Cut her off immediately. Idk where she thought she would go with that. Some people really do have the audacity

Not bad people, but when i realized that i wasn’t walking the same path as them anymore.

0:54 hell yeah. On the sandwich, beer and watching TV alone thing. I think that’s pretty much what I’ll do for my birthday here in a few days. Idk its like you do better by yourself when you’re sick of being around people

It was a few things for me. First, they'd always come to me with some sob story needing money but never pay it back despite buying all sorts of stuff. I just wound up being the sucker who bailed them out. Second, I'd make fun events like 1-day road trips our house parties and it was pulling teeth to ever get a commitment out of them. I can't have 25 Maybes the day before a trip in a car that holds 4. Or how I'd invite them and they'd ask "Who is coming?" and when I told them say "I have X to do sorry". Third, they all dropped out of community college and I went on to get my BS in Finance with highest honors. I also dress rather preppy, and the comments just wouldn't stop about being a "rich white douchebag" despite how often I asked to not be referred to as such. I finally realized they were toxic people.

This story escalates quickly..and has lots of wth moments. Back in high school I was friends with a girl. We were friends since middle school. I thought chasity was important and wanted to remain that way until marriage. When I got my first boyfriend she slept with him and got pregnant. She had a baby girl named Diamond. When I got my second boyfriend in high school, she slept with him as well and ended up getting pregnant and having a son named Blanket. By the end of high school she was a mom of 2. She always went after other girl's boyfriends so she got beat up alot. We ended our friendship and went seperate routes. 10 years latter we reconnected. She was a mother of 7..pregnant with baby 8. All different dads..lost custody of them all. She saw my man and was like oh...I never had asian before..yeah I shut that down real quick and thankfully he respects me and was not interested in her....we did not stay in contact after that. I guess old habits die hard..idk.

I remember telling a friend in college that shit was just getting hard and she started arguing with me about it. We ended up getting into a fight that everyone’s life was hard. Totally fair, but that’s not was I was talking about. I’m always happy to listen if people have problems. Didn’t realize it was too much for her. Life works that way, but she later took a selfie with a mutual friends rapist and sent it to her. Like actually raped, and left handprints. Not just a smack on the ass or dirty words, like he dragged her into the room and raped her. This rude “friend” saw him at a party so she took the picture. Fucked up shit at women’s colleges. Went in a virgin, came out raped by a janitor. People suck, find those who don’t, and enjoy your time with them.

Upon learning I bought a home 15 miles away from his house. We were 5 miles apart all our lives. “Uhhh... yeaaaa... I’m never gonna come visit”

When I grew up I realized mostly all my school friends were never really that good of friends. They only were bc I saw them everyday, had same classes, and at the time had similar interests. People change and we lose friends along the way. I'm 25 now and talk to one person from high school regularly. Other than that I have like 3 closeish friends. And I honestly dont even care bc I'd rather have no friends then fake ass friends like I did years ago.

From first grade to 5th or 6th grade, I had two "friends", who we'll call A and B. We sometimes hanged out together during school, however, they would always avoid me at all costs. Additionally, B would pressure me in to bullying A relentlessly, presumably to avoid loosing his reputation, as I never got punished for this. Eventually, B admitted that he only pretended to be my friend because he felt bad for me, as I was always isolated and would simply exist on my own. A also admitted this shortly after B did, though A was still friends with B and had no idea that he was the one who ordered me to bully A. I'm 16 now, in 11th grade, and have still not recovered from this. I refuse to believe anyone genuinely wants to be around me. I constantly get the impression that my teachers laugh at my jokes because it's their job. I feel like my therapist only agrees with my ideas and statements because that's her job, and that I'm a complete idiot for thinking I have a chance in the music industry. Despite me learning how to play the bass very quickly and practicing regularly, I still feel like my music teacher only puts up with me because he gets paid for it. When I brought this up, my dad said if I was that bad he would refuse to teach me, and my music teacher said that he had dropped some clients who refused to practice and/or just sucked. Being autistic, I was always unliked and not understood by everyone in my childhood, but I was, and still am, completely fine with, but I believe my extreme social insecurity was caused by that initial childhood experiance.

When they decided to treat me like shit because I took the Lead position, after the previous lead had been fired (unjustly, night I add). Real friends congratulate and encourage you to do better, they just acted like I had something to do with getting her fired (yeah, there was a rumor I and a few others had conspired to get the last lead fired, which I wouldn’t be surprised if they had started it). They said “wE’rE dOiNg WhAt YoU dId To LaSt LeAd”, as if the last lead was some fucking Saint. All that, even though I was the guy who drove them home when they didn’t have a ride, bought them lunch on several occasions, had their backs when they’d be getting in trouble, and told them to ALWAYS call me for a ride in case they were too fucked up to drive (no matter the hour). After months of me still trying to associate with them (which they BS’d me with “we can’t because you’re lead”, despite the fact that they ALWAYS hung out with our last lead, amongst other bullshit), me having to sometimes ask if i could come over to events with them, and overall stress because of understaffing, I decided to give it up. Not much else changed, but things weren’t the same, and frankly after that I distanced myself from them. But what REALLY did it was when the following happened: Me: “Oh guys, i got accepted to work at the marine conservatory!” Them: “We don’t care, man! That’s why we don’t invite you anymore, because you keep telling us things we never asked you about.” Me: “Thats ok, I’m looking for new friends anyway.” I’ll admit that really sucked to hear, but it was just the nail on the coffin to what shitty people they were. Oh, and they had the audacity to ask me why I didn’t contact them anymore, as if I had forgotten about what had happened. If you’re reading this, Jonnathan, Sam, and Steph, go fuck yourselves. I can’t believe I called you my friends, and you are some truly HORRIBLE people.

My friend Jerry just makes fun of me for being a short bald man, and his neighbour for being an unemployed weirdo. He’s also friends with his ex girlfriend but he takes shots at her every chance he gets... All-in-all a horrible friend.

When if you don't text then/invite them to hang out/etc. yourself, you'd just never hear from them again. I've had several "friends" like that, but the last one was a bummer because we met when we were both new to our city and became what I thought were pretty close friends, even went on a 2-week international trip together, and then it seemed like he just would never text, so I decided to see what would happen if I stopped trying to get him to do stuff and didn't hear from him for a month (after previously hanging out a couple of times a week, if not more, since we went to the climbing gym together). Then I found out he was moving to a different state. I don't know if he would have even told me if I hadn't finally texted and said it felt like he wasn't interested in being friends any more.

i haven't been contacted by a single one of my friends since the quarantine started, and that's even AFTER i texted them. The only one to respond said "who is this? I dont have your number saved on my phone." And that's when i realized my friends aren't actually my friends.

I stopped hanging with a friend when he began seeing my now ex behind my back and lied about it. Dude was like a brother to me and to have him betray me like the Anakin and obi wan scene on Star Wars where he had the high ground really hurt, I wouldn’t have been mad or upset if he came out and told the truth because I was gonna break up with her anyways. But to have him say nothing was going on and she wasn’t cheating with him and then find out from her phone and other friends also social media that they where indeed seeing each other for awhile really pissed me off.

YOU DONT NEED TO READ I JUST WANNA GET THIS OFF MY CHEST It happened to me twice in secondary (high)school they were both big friend groups (7 plus) and the second was an off shoot from the first, they did secret Santa with out me so another girl(A) and I had to sit there and watch everyone else swap presents, they had two group chats, one about me and 2 others and the other without us 3, they met up with out me constantly, when we finally sat down to talk about it the main girl straight up said she'd never liked me, her reason? "I don't know you're just kinda quite and yeah, I dunno" at this point I was crying, so another girl (B) chimed in that I'm rude, oh? her reason? "you don't talk a lot, it seems like you don't want to be here", I'm INCREDIBLY uncomfortable in social situations, I don't mind being there but I'm so much happier just listening, when I explained that I'm not great with conversation she said, "that's not my fault." Then the groups split. 2 months later it was A's birthday, she had a sleep over, asked us what dates we could do and set it for the week I was on holiday, they talked about me at the step over and A made a group chat telling them not to tell me, 2 friends id always been a bit closer with finally told me 4 months on before my birthday because A was going on about how I hadn't given her a present for hers so she wasn't giving me one for mine, I had her present somewhere at home but couldn't give it to her for her birthday because in the 3 week holiday around her birthday she "wasn't home" "couldn't meet" "busy studying" and by that point I figured the moment had passed, y'know, like when you contemplate saying "bless you" too long and then its over, clearly I judged wrong. The friends that told me then got annoyed that I was annoyed 6 people couldn't be bothered to let me know so I could save my skin, so I had to apologise and explain my self (although they did too so we reached an understanding). I never confronted her and just put up with it. Then B switches groups because the others realised she's unpleasent and now she arguing with EVERYTHING I SAY, so I'm ostracised again, I started dreading going into school. A new girl came to school (C), we were quite close and then I bumped into her and didn't apologise. Break came and it was like something out of a TV drama, I'm already down because she's had a go at me and boom, C, A and one other girl sitting there comparing reasons I'm a terrible person, they cut off when I get there, knowing I heard, and pretend it didn't happen, the lesson I have next? I'm seated right next to C, she says "are you ok?" not out of concern but because I WAS MAKING HER UNCOMFORTABLE!!! I said "no I don't want to talk to you if we're not going to acknowledge what you just did" and. she. said. "What?" like I'd accused her of k*lling my mother. I didn't eat lunch I sat in the toilets trying not to cry to loud when other people came in and tried not to call my mum because I knew there was nothing she could do except worry (she was the best bit about those 4 years). 10 minutes before the end of lunch C called me to ask where I was so I just said the library, she sounded guilty and asked if I wanted to come to the field, I tried to find excuses but she just kept asking, so to make them feel better I did. We never talked about it. I have ended secondary school with some decent some great grades(in my opinion), moved to a nicer centre for my hobby, had some time off around people that have brought out the confidence in me and will (hopefully, screw you Covid) be going into further education this September, I can now stand up for my self, though I still get really shaky I no longer lose vision, and I'm thriving in the thing that I love, animal care and photography (for those that might care) I have finally had the time to start my reading list and I have no plans of going backwards. Thank you to anyone who read this, I love you and it REALLY DOES get better. Stay safe :)

When my friend ripped something out of a little girls hand and told her to go get it.

When I realized he only texted me when he needed answers for homework and assignments. When he talked s*** about a mutual friend to me behind the friends back. When he left me on read when I was checking in to make sure he was ok because one of our teachers was worried about him. When he sided with a former mutual friend over me when I got into a program and they didn’t (they claimed that I was only let in because I was a kiss up to the teachers in charge). I realize that there was a lot of red flags but I elected to ignore them because this particular friend has known me for years and is part of the reason I’m still alive to this day

I lost many friends because when they'd ask me how I was doing & I told them I was doing WELL, they'd block me on social media & talk behind my back. I bent over backward for them & was always there when they needed me. One friend stopped talking to me because I was busy one afternoon a week. She & I run into each other & all she does is screw up her face & act like I committed a crime.

When I was in college a friend of mine was pregnant and we were all broke so my other two friends and I agreed to split the cost of a Vera Bradley diaper bag for her. As we sat in a circle and she opened her gifts we were all pretty excited to watch her open the bag and when she did she looked at it,rolled her eyes,and said,"I would've perfered Coach." I told her I would've perfered to not have to spend hard earned money on her. (We ended up giving the bag to her pregnant sister.)

I don’t drink, my friends do, my boyfriend does, I just don’t. Never for me, now shmoke? Ye I shmoke shweed.

Really makes me appreciate all my awesome friends. I didn’t think stuff like this happened so often.

When he saw Heather Heyer get hit by that car at Charlottesville...and laughed.

well they weren't friends per say but we all sort of hung out and chatted at lunch and whatnot, then in ninth grade drama class we all were assigned in a group together and they all agreed to do this dance sequence to present but every time they wanted to get together to practice after school I had ringette practice or a game, as the goalie I couldn't exactly skip those so the group really resented me, I told them to just perform without me and I'll take the F so I don't ruin the routine for them and after the whole thing they immediately turned on me, always getting angry at me and saying "nobody cares" whenever i'd be talking with someone else, like...dang they turned on a dime so fast

I had a friend in school and we both tried to get into a special academic program. We both failed and we had a great laugh because we didn't the other to make it in without them. So it worked out perfectly.

TLDR: Explained to a friend's girlfriend that it's not ok to tell me, as her trainer, that I shouldn't expect her learn a required task. Half of the department ghosted me for a couple of weeks. Several years ago I was a lead trainer at my workplace. A lot of us were friends outside of work. One of my better friends got his girlfriend hired on. I was assigned as her trainer. Two hours into her first shift I realize there might be a problem. She kept being passive aggressive by making crappy remarks then pretending like she didn't say anything. The work involved fiberglass. She couldn't cut a straight line. Edges looked like a dog chewed them. Airplanes can literally crash if those edges aren't correct. About the 4th or 5th time that I explained to her that the work isn't acceptable she says in a really b---hy tone "I can't cut straight with scissors so don't expect me to!" I then tell her that if she practices she can learn to cut straight lines, it's her first day so just keep at it. Boss asks me how she's doing. I explain the issues and mention she might not have the right attitude for the job. She gets pulled into the office. Next thing I know my friend and half of the employees in our department are ghosting me. Like flat out pretending I'm not there. After a couple more days I refused to train her anymore. Area lead wanted to fire her but the group threatened to walk if it happened. Went through two more trainers before someone could work with her. One of her friends. So basically just being a b---h to anyone she didn't like. It was two weeks before things went somewhat back to normal. After that though, it was frick those guys, never trusted them again. Also frick you management for poor hiring practices.

my friend always say if u don't give me that I will not be it friend I was so mad when she said THAT but if i don't be her friend I won't have any one

This year isn't the year of eggs, it's the year of the slugs Somehow I made this comment, on my phone, while watching a completely different video, on my phone. I only have one phone.

One of them made fun of my grandma a week before she died and nobody stood up for me, a few even thought it was funny. I beat the shit out of the dude and they all stood up for him and said it was uncalled for. Also, the kid I beat up was the son of the officer who trained Derek Chauvin. I found this out later and felt even less bad about it.

no need to have this realisation if you haven't got any friends

They weren't bad people, just not the friends I thought they were. Our senior class board put together this project where everyone could send in memories and inspirational messages to other members of the graduating class, and they'd assemble them into a scrapbook. I wrote messages for all the people I considered my friends and the people I admired, really put a lot of effort into it. When the scrapbook came out, there was the page I submitted with all my messages, and I felt really proud of it for some reason. Then I turned to the pages of the people I mentioned to see what they wrote... and they didn't have any messages for me. Then I combed the entire rest of the scrapbook, reading everyone else's pages... no messages. In fact, I only got mentioned once, in passing, by some creepy girl I stopped hanging out with in elementary school because she developed this weird crush on me. Basically I discovered that I didn't mean nearly as much to all my "friends" as they did to me. I don't know what I was expecting. I had the rep of being one of the "smart kids", but I never got invited to go anywhere or do anything, not even by the other "smart kids"... and I spent most of my school career from second grade up being bullied and messed with for various reasons. But the scrapbook proved it to me, in black and white--my middle and high school years sucked. This story has a happy ending of sorts: years later, I'm friends with some of these people on social media. Many of them have told me they regretted how I got treated back in the day, and apologized for their roles in it. But I hope my high school has stopped putting together that scrapbook. It's not the fun experience everyone thinks it is.

Had a best friend that made new friends, figured out pretty quickly that they didn’t like me but I tried my best to get along with them for my friend of course. After a few weeks it seemed like I was old news, she invited them to movie nights and gaming sessions without me, never once invited me until I find out they’ve been doing these things behind my back. I let it go. What broke the straw was when she started to complain to me one day that they were ignoring her and hanging with another friend she introduced them too and leaving her out of things. That’s when I told her that’s what she’s been doing to me, then she says nothing. Like I was the bad guy for bringing my valid feelings up while she was crying like a woman child. I made her end the friendship cause I was hesitant to to do it myself. Best feeling in the world when it was all over I stg it’s like a weight off of my shoulders it was crazy. I never realized how bad she made me feel and how she was trying to drag me down to her level of immaturity and depression, like sis fuck you and your bullshit. I’ve grown tremendously AND grew a thick backbone for myself. Now I have sincere and amazing friends, I never would’ve known healthy relationships if it wasn’t for me being brave enough to end that shitshow. Some people will just make you seem like the bad guy to make themselves feel better, cause they know you’re better then them and now they’ve lost you.

When I decided to get into and apply for law enforcement training and jobs like border control and Police work and started hitting the gym twice as hard. Half my friend group called me a racist and many said they hope I get shot in the line of duty, so I cut them off rather quickly, leaving them to post angry police hate filled post on facebook after. Lost most of my other friends around the same time since I stopped enjoying things like magic the gathering and anime and was at the gym often, so they started making petty comments about me being a chad and not knowing random anime facts, escalating to them thinking they're so much smarter and a bunch of other bull. I'm not really upset about it, and in the end its good to get people who can't support your improvement and goals out of your life, let alone the ones who just want to tear you down to there life style level, but it still sucks being hated for not doing anything by people you once enjoyed spending time with.

Last year I realized two of my bestfriends are working on a ONG boat in Northern Africa, their job consist in trying and convince (even by bribing) african men to go to Europe (specifically Italy) because they'll have a better life. They're not really helping the needy, they're trying to convince normal people that they're in need to leave for Europe. My friends even laugh about it as if it was nothing, they also get paid a whole lot of money, way too much money for the actual job they do.

Ex-friends of mine were awful people. They all seized to talk to me when i said i was moving schools and proceeded to ignore me when I was around them. They also only wanted to be around me when I went somewhere or when they wanted something. Last i saw all of them was when they shoved my head back into the pool and they almost drowned me.

When she only ever wanted to do activities that involved drinking/partying. I was a party girl myself, but definitely not as much as her. I'd ask her to go out for lunch or a movie or just chill, but she'd always turn me down, then turn around and ask if I wanted to go clubbing. The one time I said yes to that, she ditched me half way through the night to go hook up with a guy who she'd also asked to come out that night (without me knowing). The final straw was when she invited me to come to an on-campus music festival with some others and one of them was a guy who she had a thing for who'd brought along a Tinder date who was actually a really nice person and nothing like the guy or my "friend". She ended up throwing herself on the guy and hooking up with him, he also got with his Tinder date and tried to hit on me too, saying "aw, you feeling left out, are you?" I didn't want to be friends with anyone like that so I cut ties and never spoke to her again.

You know, seeing these stories, I sometimes wonder about the other side. Maybe the people who posted here were actually the toxic ones.

A friend and I were working at the same company. About a year into working there, a woman is hired that we're both attracted to. Since he knows I don't have much luck with women, he allows me first chance at a date with her. She organizes a party inviting a bunch of co-workers. The only people that show up at the restaurant are me and her. We wind up having dinner there anyway. Before I can ask her out, she mentions that she's not looking for a relationship at the moment. After dinner, we catch a movie that happened to be right next to the restaurant. A few months later, I get an inter-office call at my desk from her. She tells me to come over to her cubicle because there's something she has to tell me. I go over there and see him sitting in her office chair and her sitting in his lap. I'm trying my best not to say anything. She explains that they are dating. I just smile and nod. Oh but wait, dear readers, it gets worse. A couple months after that, I have a birthday party. At the party are me, my mom, my sister, my boss, and the newish couple. Keep in mind that my boss, mom, and sister know the story of the three of us. About 15 minutes into being seated at the restaurant, I'm looking to my left at the staff and chefs making the food. I hear a table thumping at the other end of the table. I look across at my boss. She uses her eyes to say, 'look to your right'. I look and I see the couple making out at the table, on my birthday, in front of my boss and family. I was close to speechless for the rest of the party. Karma hit them about a year later with a horrible and I mean HORRIBLE break-up.

When I left school and realized they always talked shit about me and my personality, but when another friend of ours (he was way more mature, now that I realize, he grew up due to living in an abusive household.) did all the 'cringy' things I did, they considered it cool. One can only take so many insults.

I honestly don’t have bad friends because I’d rather have no friends than bad friends. As soon as I ever feel disrespected by a friend I instantly lose attraction to them and I just stop hanging with them, I can’t even really control it. But as a result all my relationships are really healthy and supportive. So I don’t have a problem with how quickly I leave someone who disrespects me.

Every time I talked to him he gave dry responses. I had to start each and every conversation. He made plans with ALL of our mutual friends, TOLD ME ABOUT IT, and I still wasn’t invited. He would only hang out with me if others were there, only talk if there was others in a group chat, and put down everything I did. He was a jerk who broke my heart over and over, but I was so dependent on him mentally that I couldn’t see that. I stopped talking to him after he ignored by birthday and not notice that I didn’t speak to him. I tried to restart the friendship again (I know, I shouldn’t have) but he blocked me. I’m kinda glad for that.

This was kindergarten but still so my “Friends” made fun of some kid because he had an ear that had to be cut off when he was like 3 cause of an ear infection truly the worst friends ever

When my childhood friend of 10 years one day started telling me how pathetic guys were and that she as a woman only needed her body to make them do whatever she wants. She then proceeded to sleep with a ton of dudes whenever they had money, cars etc. until she ended up with the son of a car dealer. I just couldn't handle the fact that she threated people as objects and was even proud of it.

At a party, three guy "friends" had sex with the same girl, at different times that night, fought, threw up, cried and the next day were upset with me for trying to stop the violence, clean them up and tuck them in. A couple started screaming and every time that they heard a noise, would grab a knife and get really paranoid. Weed and booze are not a good idea. (I don't drink or smoke so that's why I was the caretaker) later, since I went through financial struggles, and don't drink, I would say no to going to bars afterschool (college level) and they started ignoring me and being very rude.

A lot of these stories actually make me glad that I don't have any friends.

@19:05,I’m calling it-old non-friend-friend now wants to change OP’s life, show her how she can make 10k a month sitting on her bottom, she’s got an *amazing* business plan. MLM is the only reason people 6years in your past pop up wanting to have coffee.

It's a sad thing, but the person avoiding alcohol is doing the right thing. The only way to quit an addiction is to also quit being around it. It's been 4 years sober to this day and I still have an empty cheap bottle of Smirnoff on a shelf as a reminder of why I quit.

When he would call, tell me to come by (which was a 2 mi. walk b/c I was like 17 and no vehicle) then he would ditch me to go hangout with other people less than 30 mins. after I arrived. Did it twice. Stopped answering his calls.

He once got mad at me for being made uncomfortable by something he did and twisted it into me being at fault, when he yelled at me for having a problem with someone because it apparently sounded like him, blocked me for some petty reason he made up in his head, when I can no longer hear the Discord notification sound because it gives me anxiety, when you have to tell him to apologize for shit he did and even then he never meant it, when he told me up front that he doesn't listen to my problems, that he knows my mental illnesses better then I do then gets mad when I start taking steps to get help

it's specifically two people. they aren't necessarily bad, it's just super annoying and it's horrible that i can't relate to them. backstory, my high school has academies and I'm in the art academy. out of 17 freshmen students, there are two guys (and me, kinda), who are known for their charm and looks. neither are players, but do get along with everyone well and had a friend circle of mostly females, my friend got along with girls more well and thus a lot of girls crushing on him. i'll tell them Bea and Justin (obviously not real names). We (and my bff, Sara, also not real name) are all part of a close friend group and we've been facetiming a lot during quarantine. Sara and I didn't really noticed just how close Bea and Justin were until quarantine. They would talk to each other on the group facetime for a long time as if we aren't there. they didn't try to include sara and i, mostly me, to the conversation. They also referenced a lot of other things from facetimes that we didn't know about, which is fine, but cmon, i started the facetime to do art homework together or talk.... they also get pissed if the other leaves and leaves right with them or ring each other in. but yesterday was the last straw. it was the three of us, bea, justin, and me. we were having game pigeon tournaments, but they stopped replying to me, despite the game not being over for justin and bea.... well. she was done but she (i assume) continued to text justin, giggling and stuff. mind you, they know i'm depressed to some extent. i stopped trying and left the facetime. i didn't get a ring back. fucking hell, i'm so pissed as i write this, but i don't want to bring it up to them because both are going through depression and i don't want to burden them. i didn't want to burden them since november.

They pretended they didn't know me when we were around other ppl in school. And stole my jokes and dreams and claimed it as their own just to show off to others.

When I decided to quit drinking and smoking weed lost all my friends my friends were my family mother sister brother cousins I became the outcasts and I was no longer credible because I didn't party but I'll be damned if my life isn't 10 times better and more relaxing best thing I ever did in my life

I was best friends with this girl since middle school. during middle and high school she was a bubbly happy girl and would do anything for her friends. Wouldn't say anything negative to anybody nice.We graduated high school and for the first few years it was fine. We still hung out and she was her normal happy self. Well she got into a abusive relationship and i could spot it right away since i watched my mom go through a bunch of abusive relationships growing up. I tried in the kindest way possible to show my best friend that she was in fact in an abusive relationship but by then she was wrapped around the abusers finger. Everything about her changed. She was no longer the happy bubbly girl. He forced her to drop all positive influences (including me) out of her life. He moved her a state away and got her pregnant. He then refused to let her go to college or better herself in any way. After about 5 years she left him and moved back home but the damage was done. She had no job experience and a child to take care of. None of her family and other friends would help her since she had to cut ties with them to leave (some ties were broken very negatively ). I was living out of state at the time so i couldn't help. She went from homeless shelter to homeless shelter. It ruined her personality. Now she is a spiteful and hateful person. Everything she say is filled with venom and negativity. Even when you try to help her she is spiteful. That abusive relationship ruined her whole self, body and spirit. I have tried helping her when i moved back home, but the negativity is hard to deal with. Its like all the toxic things that the abuser did to her morphed her into a copy of himself and i don't want to have that in my life......I have empathy for her. I understand what she is going through and i check up on her once every other month to make sure she good but i am not going to hang with her daily and have the wave of negativity off her hit me like that and bring my life down. I feel like the friend that i use to have years ago died.....I keep contact because of the memory of the friend i use to have and the though of maybe enough time will pass and she will get better/over the abusers treatment for her like my mom has...... But she hasn't......

Grew up always doing every favour for my friends. Need a jacket on a ski trip? Here take mine, don’t need to worry about my being sick for the next week! Need some cash? Guess I don’t need lunch today! Need help with homework? I won’t even hold a grudge or rat you out when you steal it from my locker and don’t put it back, making it so I get a zero... Then, my car blew a tire. Put my thumb out for a ride home. Watched half my friends drive right on by, some even waved at me. Most lived with my house on the way to their’s.... finally got a complete stranger to give me a ride. After that, I just stopped caring. Burned a few bridges. If I had my way, I’d nuke my old school from orbit...

When they microwaved fish

Somewhere between a dozen and two dozen "visits" or "hang out sessions" and EVERY single time they show up, it's got something to do with them needing something or wanting help with something... for free of course. I like to be a useful friend to have around. Don't get me wrong. I may be an "everything tech' " AND most of the time for little "odd jobs" I don't charge friends... There are still limits. I do this shit for a living and can't make it anywhere giving everything up for nothing. You want stuff "from the shop", pay for it. It's only decent. I don't show up at your job and demand crap for free. Real friends offer to pay... without regard of whether we're "in the shop" or not. They ask stuff like "what do I owe you?" or just straight up offer "Here's some gas money for you"... etc. AND they don't ask it or offer it with a shitty attitude. They're genuine about it... knowing they probably should pay something... NOT like "Oh god, what am I going to owe you for that NOW?!" AND real friends show up JUST to show up. They come by and hang out just for the sake of hanging out. They can bring sodas or beers and maybe strike up a game of Chess, Warhammer, D&D, Gurps, etc... JUST to hang out and play. They don't depend on me "just for a GM" or "just because I probably have some piece or other of drek they need."... or because I know how to shop, so they know they can get the best price in the county through me. Friendships have their perks... SURE... GREAT... BUT we shouldn't just blindly depend on anybody just for the perks of having the ass-hat around. An ass-hat is an ass-hat... AND I'm not about to subject myself to that just for a few "perks". If you need an oil change, have a weird noise in your engine, want a computer you can't possibly afford, need a vacuum or other appliance fixed before it lights on fire or blows up... I'm happy to be available and help out... once in a while. I'm not so happy to be your unpaid handyman ALL THE TIME. I don't work for sodas/beers for anyone else, either. Worse yet, when they don't even thank me for the work/stuff they've gotten... That's a big clue they need to go f*** themselves. ;o)

When she wanted everything that I have. She was always behind the scenes talking crap about really personal issues and was too competitive. My life is much better without her. I would rather have no friends than fake friends.

knew damn well about my mental health, laughed about it as a joke, told me nobody loved me, hasn’t apologized since.

I was once that friend, it was the end of 2019 and my good friend (we are all females in mid 20') invited a new girl to our friend group and introduced her to be her girlfriend, all cool but the girl has soon shown her true colors, she was very immature, clinging to my friend, her girlfriend (a big no-no), and when we thought we were having a good time on our winter vacation, she had anxiety, didn't eat or drink, had no kidding PTSD attack, didn't talk, and just said she feels sick but doesn't want us to help, we didn't know how to help, she was a sweet girl, weary caring, but we could not be her therapists when my friend ended up breaking up not long after, she threatened suicide, we ignored her until she got the point and left us alone. it was a weary damaging experience to us all

My mother always told me to treat people as I would like to be treated...I do..and it's not easy to do when your friends don't live by that philosophy.

When she told everyone who I had a crush on and then claimed my sprained foot was a lie for attention. Then she asked to be my friend again only to ignore me for a month.

Nobody: Robot at 7:54 : feeanca

I am a horrible person, but i dont show it One time this really creepy girl was crushing on my friend and when i told him he straight up said “Nah wtf i will never be with that Fxcking manatee or sum shxt” SOOO LOUD SHE HEARD i shrugged away awkwardly and left the room and started laughing

Only has to do with one friend, but basically I noticed that after years of knowing them that they were needlessly violent. They acted as if not doing what they said was a personal attack against them. They scream at their younger siblings even if they did nothing wrong, and I've watched them smack their dog in the face for walking into the kitchen when they wanted the dog to stay in the living room. I wanna say something to them but I'm kind of afraid they'll get lash out at me, considering we've been friends since 7th grade (were gonna be seniors in highschool this year).

This is going to sound petty as all get out, but I thought that It was about time to share this story. Not gonna use her real name, but there was a girl named Candice that I was "friends" with since the 4th grade. Part of me seemed to end up being friends with her because no one else seemed to like her. I don't necessarily regret being her friend, but I had slowly begun to realize why no one else liked her. She was a bit of a drama queen. She would tattle on people sometimes for the littlest things. Including me. For example, there was an assignment we were doing and the substitute we had had instructions from the teacher saying that we had to work by ourselves, but I didn't know how to really do the assignment, so I was secretly getting help from her(or so I thought) and just copying her answers. Suddenly she gets up while glaring at me to tell on me to the teacher that I was cheating/copying her. I wasn't punished, but it made me cry and hurt my feelings. She also had these on again off again periods where we were joined at the hip and where she would betray me and even hang out with the people who mutually bullied us. There was this two faced hispanic girl who bullied us both because we were friends. There were times the hispanic girl tried to be nice to me but it was under the condition that I stop being friends with Candice. There was a time where we had a falling out and she hung out with Hispanic girl throughout recess and her and her entourage followed me around taunting me. By the end of it, I was done with her and didn’t want to speak to her anymore. I eventually forgave her because what kid holds a grudge? There was another time where we had a falling out and she refused to sit with me at lunch. I tried to apologize and I practically begged her to forgive me. Her response? “Sorry don’t cut it!” I then just ignored her and talked to other people who I was friends with. Later she came crawling back asking me to sit with her and begged me to forgive her. I forget the aftermath of that but I was mad at how pathetic and two-faced she was. Fifth grade was especially hellish for me. There was a particular instance where I was about to pretend to give her some candy as a joke only for some lanky b!tch to start yelling at me that they belong to someone else (I knew they weren’t mine and I was going to put them back down) but then it escalated until I screamed at the lanky b!tch to shut up and then the teacher scolded ME for being loud and disrupting class. She tried to comfort me but I just wanted her to go away. I wasn’t saying It to be mean, the teacher just yelled at me when it was some other girl's fault. I just wanted to be left alone. Almost EVERYONE bullied me in my fcking class and my supposed best friend was any help to alleviate the misery I felt. The last straw was when some cheese dick asian kid started sitting at our table and he sat in the spot that I sat in. One day I sat in my spot again and this kid had the nerve to ask me to move. I told him no because this was my spot before he stole it. He left after some back and forth. I thought that was the end of it, so I went to go get some food, and I came back and the fcker moved my stuff and is sitting in my spot. I told him to get out of that spot and he said “that would be a hell no.” It was another verbal altercation until I gave up and I punted him in the back. “Yeah, like that even hurt!” I could have tried to hurt this shithead, but I was a goody-two-shoes in school and I wasn’t gonna risk stooping down and getting into a fight over a seat at lunchtime. When she came over I confronted her and essentially asked her why she had become such a shitty friend. She pushed back and said: “NO, NO! I AM a good friend! I am a GOOD! FCKING! FRIEND!” I wanted to completely explode on her and say that she was a horrible fcking b!tch and beat her ass for old and new, but all I could muster was a “don’t talk to me like that.” After that I got up and refused to speak to her. I didn’t miss her. I made new, better friends and she wasn’t the same person anymore. Sooner or later I noticed that I wasn’t seeing her around anymore, so I asked a mutual friend where she was and she told me that she was at the Career Academy at the local State College. And that was the end of that until I saw her and her mom a couple years later in a Winn Dixie where she told me she was married with a son. As of right now, the last I checked she moved to Rhode Island with her husband.

Lol "Queen Bee" in college what a joke😂

Had good friend in high school. We made friends with a kid a few years younger who was the little brother of his crush. The kid had a family friend through horse showing that was a few years older than us. I worked with this guy's girlfriend in the summer. My friend in high school goes off to the Marines when we graduate, and I hang with our mutual friends for about a month into summer. What got me out of it was constant "need" to do drugs and drink, which I did both, but never really enjoyed it. I drove out with them, thankfully separately, to smoke up and probably go drink at the farm. We make a detour to another kid's place, and his friend is there. They decided to play football with some kittens. I won't go into detail, but it wasn't good. When playing catch was boring they just threw them at the barn wall. When we left to go to the farm, I faked getting a phone call as we were driving, and bolted. Unfortunately because I cut ties, my friend who went to the Marines stopped talking to me and didn't even acknowledge me when he returned. Both of our mutual friends ended up being massive failures in life too. One I know did at least a month in jail. It just wasn't worth it anymore for me. I went to college 2 months later and never looked back.

My high school mates flat out stopped contacting me, I’ve given up trying to get in touch with them as it seems like to them me wanting to meet up is a chore that they don’t want to do