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When Does Parenting Cross the Line Into Psychological Abuse?

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www.aplaceofhop... It's one thing to correct our children, but it's what we say how we say it that makes all the difference. Dr. Gregory Jantz shares insight into what crosses the line into psychological abuse. Dr. Jantz is the founder of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, and the author of Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse.

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27 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 69

@kyoza8258 7 лет назад

My parents called me worthless, Useless and Not responsible, I mean I am only a 12 year old...... I accepted everything they said. I Fear people, im scared to talk to anyone.

@whydontwebelitty9080 7 лет назад

MysticalWolfGirl My parents... I'm only 10... They've been doing this for me for 7 years now.. They said me "Why can't you just be like the other kids?" And I reply madly "WHY CAN YOU STOP COMPARING ME TO THEM?!" Then she's like "Well why can't you be like them?" And when I was looking for my dad's charger... I didn't find it but when he found it.. He spanked me with it which left me Bruises.. He even said he doesn't love me anymore and that he doesn't care and not sleep especially DON'T EAT JUST DIE!! I just love them so they're not in jail right now...

@kyoza8258 7 лет назад

Rossette66's ROBLOX Studio I am so sorry you have to go through this. Every parent should know Not every Child is the same, Not even Twins. I advise you to just be who you want to be. Good Luck, and Be safe. *STAY STRONG*

@nopcshere6097 7 лет назад

Rossette66's ROBLOX Studio You do not deserve this. Sadly, your parents sound like they are not only narcissists but also possibly sociopaths. The fact that your father told you to 'just die' strongly points to that. Please help yourself by reporting their behavior to any trusted adult - a friend's parent, teacher, principal or any adult you trust. Being a teenager is difficult enough, without parents like you describe who treat you horribly.

@thetriggeredmimikyu3277 6 лет назад

MysticalWolfGirl I totally relate, I’m 15 and my father is almost constantly psychologically abusing me, in fact it’s too much for me and he makes me want to kill myself, I can’t stand any more of what he does to me

@marriewademan7777 5 лет назад

Mystical my dad calls me horrible stuff

@liv6050 7 лет назад

i can't understand my mum because she only name calls me for hours at a time and not my older brothers. she supports my brothers but never supports me. when i told her i wanted to kill myself in the middle of a mental breakdown, she told me to go ahead and walked away. now when my brother told her he's depressed, she shows so much support. i've helped her so much. when she was suicidal for weeks, taking a blade to her wrist saying she'll commit suicide, i was the one there to comfort her and i was 11. when she was in university while i was in high school, i was the one who helped her with her assignments and in the final year i did all her assignments. i was always the one to calm my family down. i'm the youngest and she blamed everything on me and always locked me out of the house at night (especially when i was a little kid), and that always left me confused, but i know so much better now and her insults mean nothing to me.

@nopcshere6097 7 лет назад

Olivia You have a narcissistic mother. She has appointed you as the scapegoat and your brother as the golden child. This is something narcissists do. She will probably continue to do this well into your adulthood. Please get yourself counseling through your school or physician. You do not deserve to be subjected to this.

@kirstingrimm467 5 лет назад

Olivia im in your shoes my mom calls me Brat, selfish , ungrateful , thoughtless person it hurts I’ve tried to confront her she tells Me Grow TF Up!

@kirstingrimm467 5 лет назад

NoPCsHere my mom names calls me I told her I wanted to go spend a day with my boyfriend after I get off my flight I’m 22 years old she still tells me u need to listen to my feelings how I feel You don’t need to be thinking bout yourself you’re selfish , thoughtless brat, that she told me to Grow TF Up she always says how disrespectful I am even If im having a calm conversation with her

@lolychungus5517 4 года назад

Kirstin Grimm she needs to grow tf up

@kirstingrimm467 4 года назад

Chungus Loly my mom is Manipulative, hypothetical, she never thinks she’s wrong she never apologizes people think that I’m making it up I have screenshots what my mothers says abusive emotionally, mental , psychological

@curtistinemiller1560 5 лет назад

Emotional Abuse leaves you with a Soul murdered Child living inside of you........

@illyillyill 10 лет назад

What i think is also abuse is over exaggerating a child's accomplishments, Overly doting for little things, and overly boosting a child's ego. Am i wrong in thinking this is also a form abuse? For example: a father telling everyone at his job, and everyone in the family that his kid is a genius, and that one day he could be president. I've experienced this, and giving a kid extremely unrealistic goals on purpose so that they have no choice, but fail is abuse i think. They key is noticing a consistent malignant pattern over time like you said.

@LilChuunosuke 9 лет назад

Well, in that situation, i think it would be abuse if when this child does not achieve these unrealistic and impossible standards, their parents make it very clear to the child's face they are *extremely* disappointed in them for not even coming close to this nearly impossible expectation. If it gets to the point they teach you that you are never good enough, but they tell you that you *can* do these things you cannot do and get mad at you for failing every time, I think it's probably emotional abuse.

@Lookatmeshine 8 лет назад

that is considered a narcissistic trait. aka boosting your status as a parent through your child's achievements. It could certainly become abuse if when the child fails the parents suddenly stop being proud and loving and it affects the child's self esteem.

@vampirebat1614 7 лет назад

Agreed other than the president part. It isn't impossible silly :P

@hailey7723 7 лет назад

This is what borderlines and narcissists do to the 'golden child.'

@Kayscastle 6 лет назад

Yes.. Overindulgent parenting can lead to NPD

@elizabethh4855 9 лет назад

My mom did that to me and sometimes if she was mad enough she physically abused me but what hurt me more is calling me a bitch, that I have no talent as an artist, why can't I be like my cousins (i.e smart, pretty, and tomboyish) and stupid. But I'm not her only victim. My mom has abused her parents, my dad's family, my dad, me , and my little sister.

@laetitialogan2131 7 лет назад

I know your pain...at 49.....finally got the guts to cut that cord....worn from it...

@nickjamesb2051 4 года назад

The best part is when your reality is denied and invalidated so you get the added pain of feeling like you actually deserve it.

@samuelrochester2825 6 лет назад

In my teenage years, I had a few problems mainly fitting in at school due to a lack of confidence and going through puberty which made me want to lash out at times. Only now it has occurred to me that my mom was a route cause of this. Constantly telling me that I wasn't normal and forcing me to visit countless therapists. Even now my old therapist says there was nothing wrong with me, just a normal teenager that was a little lost in the world. My mom made it a thousand times worse, and this started self-loathing that I took into adulthood. Only now am I unwiring all these unhealthy beliefs.

@HeavenGeorge 8 лет назад

my parents are severely psychological abusive to me and have helped given me complex post traumatic stress disorder because of their bad behaviors to me no fault of my own at all as a result of the mob campaign against me they attack me more then anyone else they are doing it because other people in the community do it to me too. anyways my sisters are thee same as my parents as well. anyways they attack me frequently and NEVER solve the problem and just let issues add up. of course they fix their problem but they do not fix problems they create for me that is 100% their fault. so anyways i do not agree with this video that abuse is common. many people lie about abuse maybe even most so they do not want to take responsibility for their mistakes. abusers often say they are abuse victim when they are not. anyways i do not think verbal abuse is common or in most cases it is a choice based on association it is your fault to stay in an abusive partners or relations of any sort in most cases. anyways abuse again is NOT common government statistics are lying because many bullies and mistake makers will not take responsibility for their action they blame people who did not wrong to them. anyways my families are such bad liars they call themselves victims or that there is no problem when they are nothing other then bullies or worse then that. anyways i come from a DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY my sisters are also abusive as well they support bad people. so that is not a feeling i have that is 100% fact. my family literaly makes me sick along with many people around the world and evil employees and etc on the jobs.

@-.-7675 5 лет назад

My mom is the reason I’m suicidal, but i can’t have problems right ?

@nessahughes4175 3 года назад

please realize you would be gifting your abuser by hurting yourself,get back at your abuser by loving yourself,get her out of your head and retrain yourself,love yourself

@samsongabriel4087 7 лет назад

Thank you both for the video, Doctor & Reporter.

@lizzychrome7630 8 лет назад

Please, please for the love of god, get rid of the name "emotional abuse," that just sounds.....like something no one would take seriously. Can't we call it "psychological abuse," which is what it is?

@ALMUDDY 7 лет назад

Well obviously you had a good set of parents, or someone to love you

@natalie9884 3 года назад

I would rather be hit every day than go thru the psychological torture. Videos just shared.

@bobisthecat603 4 года назад

I think I need help my dad yelled at me all the time say I am I stupid my dumb for no doing my work I cry all the time I am getting help

@luiscarlospereirafurtado1960 6 лет назад

In the uk social services dont take this as putting a child in risk.. I have a smal child (almost 3years old)i have a strong relationship with him..i went to court to gain acess to him(his mom dont want me to be in his life..)but my son at this present moment..whene i aprouch him even for a kiss..he runs away from me..grabs his moms legs..crying...i did report so many times to social services...but they say its normal..(ps* I have 145 videos of my contact betwen me and my son)because was prove in court that his mom is trying to break a bond betwen a father and a son. Any help..thanks

@LoveYou3539 4 месяца назад

this is what the bible talks about "death and life are in the power of the tongue, those who love it will eat its fruit"

@natalie9884 3 года назад

My mom told me every single day how fucking stupid I was and how much she fucking hated me. Even age 30 she still says those things. Those words formed my identity and how I viewed myself, which has permanently affected me/defined my sense of self (no matter what mental health professionals say) . This stuff will creep up in EVERY aspect of your life in adulthood. I feel like it’s worse if it is COVERT.

@sorabh651 3 года назад

My mother has been physically and mentally abusing since I was a kid , when I was 15 she said " i wish i killed you when you were in my womb " . That line scarred me for life . She never loved me unconditionally , yes. Never . My whole life till today was like rapunzel's story . I'm 20 now, she still physically and mentally abuses me if I don't do it her way . And if I still don't listen to her , then both of my parents abuse me together, but just like rapunzel's story , I would break free and spread love to everyone I come in contact with . Pain , but I won't let it turn into hate . This soul of mine will never break. 🤙🏼

@OfficialFatLip 10 лет назад

i know this girl and her parents are abusing her by slandering her bf, they did it to isolate them then tried convincing her her bf is doing it, very evil

@OfficialFatLip 10 лет назад

Samantha Derrick Its abusing her because she has 4 children with this bf who she been with for 12 years now and learned her parents lied to her after ten years, she said that since she learned this and stopped talking to them instead of apologizing to her they instead tried to take the couple to court for child visitations claiming their daughter is nuts, now thats abusive PERIOD

@josephcannizzaro5212 6 лет назад

My dad would continuously say he wish he never had kids. Your mother wanted kids, Not me. He would ignore us for weeks at a time. We lived with no heat in our house for our entire childhood. He later became interested in us when we were grown and had money and assets. Only to extort money from us by not letting us she our mother. She was to blame as well Bc she stayed with him, and did nothing to correct the problem. Throughout the years we would at times standup to him and cut him off, but he always knew how to sucker us back in.

@AmyBlackRoseCena 6 лет назад

My dad makes jabs at me about my weight occasionally since I'm kind of heavy plus my diet is really bad, but he makes it sound like an attack (even though I'm aware that that's not his intention). I know he isn't trying to be mean, but I can't stand when it happens.

@naritruwireve1381 8 лет назад

Trying to fight off the onion ninjas but it's tough...

@EmmaMortz 7 лет назад

Sorry, I'm using this program as a reference in a school project on child abuse and neglect and I was wondering what the original date of broadcast was? Your website says it was in 2013 but this video was uploaded in 2012 :/

@MrMitchelljung 5 лет назад

Psychological Abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse and physical abuse Needs to be considered a Captial Offense!!

@nessahughes4175 3 года назад

LOL CHILDRENS AID ARE BLIND TO PSCH ABUSE ,MORONS,SO GOOD LUCK WITH OUR COURTS SAVING THESE KIDS

@Di...747 3 года назад

Anybody tried to give my mother a advice she would probably cuss them out to the point they would never to her again. my mother would isolate me from anybody who tried to help. By driving them away

@ashleystofferahn1027 Год назад

I would agree

@egggyeolk Год назад

my hero

@TheaterPup 4 года назад

Let's not pretend such parents "don't know it." They damn well do.

@patientestant 5 лет назад

I thought this was the onion and kept waiting for the joke. Unfortunately this isn't a joke.

@humairaghani10 10 лет назад

Interesting video.

@orphiawilson8407 6 месяцев назад

I got abuse by my stepmother when I was 9

@hindhokatudhugaani4120 6 лет назад

Is that saying to kids we went to away from your mom is. That is no abouse?

@hindhokatudhugaani4120 6 лет назад

What about some one at shoolb hiden abous?

@lauragadille3384 7 лет назад

You think so, duh

@hindhokatudhugaani4120 6 лет назад

Is that abouse when teacher. Say to kids abose

@andreafoxx4034 6 лет назад

my mom call me all kind name n cuss me out n even as a child grow up n older got lot spank n. not want son go to that

@nessahughes4175 3 года назад

so basic,i was hoping topics covered would be parents who make children feel worry fear anxiety by filling them with dellussional beliefs a say bpd mother does,or ignoring the child when the child does not act cruel or heartless to a parentally alienated other parent,or telling childadult fears,stealing childs right to be a child,parentifying.whats on this video is to the extend childrens aid workers see abuse,what needs to be publically taught are covert psch abuse,all this other crap is so easy to see and the ones not seen are children given full custody to very covert cunning bpd and npd undiagnosed with childrens aid assisting them in recieving full custody because they are so ill trained so basic trained,people viewed alec baldwin as abussive by calling his daughter a pig,while kim the mother was training child thruogh psch manipulation to treat her daddy with zero empathy entitled,while victem is made to look like the abuser,the bpd parent is the ones hiding behind scene pulling the strings.to bad worthy info is not spoken of publically and we could all see the wolves,but a dirty child or a parent telling child bad over and over,shit we all know that stuff,this is a lame interview that teaches nothing to the public that we dont already no,children in these homes are most likly to be recognized,its the families with undiagnosed bpd or npd parents that create severe patholigies in kids,create adult pycopaths codependents,npd bpd thats spreading on earth.today we have more liers in this world more wolves dressed as sheep and its all due to deep psch abuse,not like this,this crap creates suicide and low esteme,the real covert creates evil.

@jackmorgan8931 6 лет назад

Oh, now I get it: This emotional/psychological "abuse" is just like art: Not even the experts can define it but, by God, they all know it when they see it. So we started in '48 or so with Dr. Benjamin Spock who, according to my parents (I was born in '52), was a total moron. Baby-boomers, at least many of them, started practicing Spock's advice, you know, "positive reinforcement" instead of discipline and punishment. They wanted to be "friends" with their children. Then those kids grew up and, by then, kids were pretty much raised in day-care, preschool, and all the rest, where they were "starved for attention". Still absent, of course, was discipline and punishment. And now we have grown-ups, at least in terms of chronological age, justifying for their neurotic lives by looking back and blaming their parents. But please, dear God, at no point in the discussion should anyone question or challenge the changes in society. This becomes that whole, boring debate of nature v nature. So now introduce names like B. F. Skinner and his '78 book, "Reflections on Behaviorism and Society," in which society and the people in it are reduced to rats in a maze. And his world, only the "leaders," the "best" of society, i.e., the academics--much like the man in this video--were fit to tell everyone else how to raise their kids. And now the whole house of cards, the maze, is imploding. "Adults" looking back and complaining that their parents ruined their lives by telling them, oh, like my mom did me when I shot out my front tooth with a BB-gun, that I was a total idiot. Kids are now spoiled brats demanding "safe spaces". There are no adults left in the room. The very people who are supposed to be the "best," those academics, who, allegedly, deal with thought, reason, intellect, and logic, then proceed to claim to be experts on all things emotional, claim to speak with authority on the passions and feelings of men. And then, add to all of that (!), the attempt to "fix" all this, to "cure" it, with the introduction of pharmaceuticals, a nation of adults on every kind of anti-depressant imaginable and kids eating whatever it is for ADHD-whatever that is, and yeah, it is a nation of crybabies and whiners. And to think I just within the last few days discovered that scientists, going back to '09 or so, have discovered that the brain of Homo sapiens is actually getting smaller. And after a lifetime of being exposed to the evolutionary certainty that "big brain = smarter brain," I will be damned if those same experts are not now saying that "No, our smaller brains are proof that we are still evolving and we are going to be even better than ever." The greatest show on earth...and it is all free. I'm going to go curl up in the fetal position now because my mommy and daddy didn't do enough to make me feel "special".

@SaraL13. 4 года назад

Jack Morgan I’m really happy for you, it sounds like you had a good childhood. Sadly many of us didn’t, and it stems back to childhood. We are partly the way we are because of our parents. Mistakes are made yes, but continuously being mistreated is abuse.

@nessahughes4175 3 года назад

amazing comment,can u know explain real psychological abuse that create severe patholigy in children Npd BpdHpd,sociopaths ,our court system or stupid childrens aid workers believeing a family to be sheeps when they are all wolves and how society seems to stand up for the actual abusers,being so cunning as they are while jailing the innocent.

@jackmorgan8931 3 года назад

@@nessahughes4175 It simply is the phrase itself, "real psychological abuse," that I, to this moment still don't understand, meaning only that after now 68 years on this planet, it can mean anything "they" want it mean--"they" being those "experts," the "mental health professionals" who in turn influence the "legal system". I.E., I literally pre-date all of this. For example, there were no "autistic" kids "back then". Sure, Johnny back there in the corner seemed a bit "slow". And sure, other kids picked on him. But teachers spent extra time trying to help Johnny while also, yep, occasionally thwacking the hell out of those who picked on him. Then those kids had to go home and tell them why the teacher had thwacked 'em and...mommy or daddy (usually daddy, of course)...beat his ass...again. And Johnny actually learned something..."learned" from his choices and actions". I don't think people do that any more. And one bit of "personal experience": In 2013, I was, shall I say, burned out...just the stuff of everday life...and what remains my personal war with insomnia. Again, just the stuff of everyday life. But hell, surrounded by all these "experts," I decided to get "professional" help. I was immediately diagnosed with "OCD". A few months later? "Oh, OCD is now put under 'this' category and what you really have is....." And that's when I stopped listening and simply got back to the stuff of living my life...including, yes, the "right" to bitch and complain all I wanted but never (!) the "right" to blame everyone else for my personal demons. But yes, parents would indeed "beat the hell" out of their kids. Ah, but usually just one such good ol' fashioned ass-whoopin' was all it took for those "children" to begin to understand the concept of "authority figures". I.E., "Mommy and daddy work. They pay the bills. They provide a place to live. They buy my clothes, They feed me. And all I have to do is...behave, be 'nice,' 'play well with others'? Hell, that ain't asking too much, is it?" But at the same time, yes, there were indeed truly, genuined "abusive" parents. And now the circle is complete, right back to "nature v nurture". And then, again, expand that role of "authority figures" to now include, well, everything: Government, Church, schools...everything. But along the way a new philosophy, a new religion was introduced, something called "for the children". It was decided that all of life was...for the children. They had to be protected from, well, anything that might harm them, only now that "harm" could be anything physical, emotional, and yes, psychological. And now? Hell, we have stop "climate change"...for the children. We have to "end world hunger"...for the children. And me? I set here and I am watching these "children" that everyone wants to save, to protect, and yes, do indeed worship. And it is again to go full-circle. "Back when" I wore a younger man's clothes--meaning sure, from the '50s through, oh, the '90s or so--find me any "news" of "children" shooting each other, their parents, their neighbors. Point out the "news" of "girls" having one baby after the other, each by different guys. And I could go on but the point is simple: I have lived during the age in which "children" became truly "wards of the state". Yes, mommy and daddy breed and bring the little brats into the world but once baby pops out, oh, the "state" steps in and will tell mommy and daddy to back the hell up because it, the "state," will now take over. "It," the state--and include all those "professionals," those doctors, those shrinks, etc.--"they/it" will...And wait. This says it perfectly: Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Indeed, the "state" and all those "professionals" did indeed insert themselves into the "traditional family"--and again, for the record, yes, some people simply should not breed, period--but "they" inserted themselves and...and here we are, in 2021. And I have been watching those "children," raised by the state and those professionals, and....? Maybe this way, one last example and I go away: I'm a guy so yeah, I sorta kind enjoy sex. "Back when" I was young, it was simple: You knocked her up, you marry her. Not open to discussion. That made you really careful where you put Mr. Happy. But yes, there also those "orphanages" everywhere so yes, "girls" would have those babies and those orpphanages were there...to "raise those kids". But then came first, birth control, and soon after that, Roe v Wade. And I have been watching the war between these young people, these "children," argue and fight only about which is the better choice: Abort the damned thing and be done with or, what the hell, have it and start collecting all that free money. But the one thing no one dares argue is "personal responsibility," no one dares to tell these "children" to...well, YOU keep it in your pants and YOU keep your damned legs together. No, we mustn't talk to our "children" that way. We mustn't expect to behave like adults because they are, after all, just "children". Argh! But what remains the same is what I simply loathe with every breath I take: It is always a "they," an "it," a professional, a doctor, a shrink, a lawyer, a judge..."they" are the "experts" not to be challenged or question and everybody else? Pfft, simply cattle...no, it is the word YOU used: Humans are simply now SHEEP. Breed little sheep, breed, and do exactly what you are told and we will all live happily ever after. Sure, those "authority figures" change with each election, with each new graduating class of these "brilliant minds" but that one thing never changes, now does it? "They" will tell you and me how to live. "They" will tell us how to raise our kids. And we are to do nothing else except smile and nod...and oh yes, keep working to keep paying all those taxes...And then I am back to being me, an old man sitting here watching this madness play out. So I suppose all I am saying is: "They" did it. "We" have just been stupid enough to play along for all these years. Two sides of one coin: Heads, we lose, they win. Tails, they win, we lose. Or Obi Wan: "Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view." Faye, I did it again. I rambled and ranted. You stay safe and be well.