When Fe is annoying the Fi user... 

As an INFP, I kinda hate being asked "How are you?" Like, if you really want to know the answer to that question, let me lock myself in my room for 2 hours to figure that out 🤣

Your Fe acting is so accurate! The whole “well okay I guess we won’t be able to see you socks! No birthday or Christmas socks I guess! 😊😡” you nailed the Fe passive aggression

This is why you don't ask for emotions if the other person is uncomfortable with them, you observe them.

Having Fe as a Ti Dom its like "Oh, ew, they got pissed off by what I said, that's unfortunate"

Wow, I thought you were really talking to me 😆 I'm INFP and my mom is ESFJ. After learning typology I started to understand some of our conflicts, and actually started to understand my mom and how to deal with her better. She talks a lot, which doesn't bother me. The problem is when she asks what I think of some sensitive subject (like: "don't you think of having kids?"). I'm actually comfortable with sharing my point of view, what bothers me is because my Fi means that sometimes I don't have a popular opinion, and she gets shocked and starts to think of how to change my mind so I have a "more suitable" opinion. When I was younger I would just shut myself off or start an argument, but now I understand why her Fe makes her do what she does, and I started to Ne-show her all the facets of my ideas, and it's kinda useful to make her understand the complexity of Fi. Like, she doesn't get any of it, but she understands that it's something deep and respects that.

Lol as an Infj this was very helpful to see how we can be annoying sometimes. 😂 Thank you for helping me to understand Fi better. I genuinely care about how you're feeling and want to do anything possible to help you feel better or at least sympathize, but on the underhand I can understand when some people see that as too personal and none of my business...

The sock analogy has me rolling on the floor- so accurate and hilarious

Very clear analogy! I love it. Same reason why I don't extrovert my thinking... my thoughts are too precious & private to share with all and sundry!

I think the Fe/Ti person feels similarly when asked what they are thinking by a Te/Fi person. My thoughts are very personal. I do not want to show them to you unless it is in the context of Fe. If you start Te-ing my Ti, I’m like, “Is this abuse? Are you allowed to do this?”

I'm an INFP and I have three high Fe users in my immediate family (INFJ, ISFJ and ESTP), I'm the only one in my household who has Fi in my main function stack. They often ask me how I'm doing or feeling and then immediately disregard or stop listening when I start to explain how I'm doing or feeling in more than one word. They just expect an "okay", "good", "bad" or " not that great" not a proper/actual explanation. If they don't want to know how I'm doing or feeling then they shouldn't ask because the disregard that comes with it is hurtful. When I ask them how they're doing or feeling I genuinely want to know more if they are willing to tell me, whereas it seems as if they do it more as a social cue and then move on than out of genuine interest. I seriously despise it, just don't ask if you don't really want to know because I have to gather all that inner information and make it digestible for you-takes a lot of energy out of me. They wouldn't like it if I asked them and quickly tried to move on. I have spoken to them about this a few times and also listened to their perspectives, this is just how I think but I can understand how they think through their set of main functions. It's still heartbreaking when it happens though. Thanks for the video :)

As I seem to be an INTP, I think I can relate to this as I think Ti reacts similarly to Te. My thoughts are my own, and I'm not going to share them if I'm not ready to or don't feel comfortable. I can definitely see Fe (even with mine being inferior) being annoying to an Fi user. Fi definitely comes off as more authentic and personal, whereas I think Fe can be perceived as inauthentic, even fake.

Thanks for explaining your perspective of Fe users in this way. I actively try to avoid coming off this way (or any way that can be alluded to as "pesky", especially by Fi users). I also realize that the way you describe your Fi is how I feel about my personal Ti opinions on things that I would rather not share unless I am very close to a person. I don't really believe in having people "show their socks" to everyone else. Just me. And that is a form of me, as an ENFJ building intimacy. If you refuse to show me your socks, you have that right totally! But I will also consequently just view this as a dead or stagnant dynamic and therefore no longer pursue intimacy with you. But I definitely don't think that these socks should be show to the general public unless they are needed to make a decision. Like....if I am tryna help us make a decision on where to eat, and it is soooo personal for you to just share that you are not a fan of Thai food....I can respect that I guess? I can't relate....but sure. Lol, however, I will then hope that I do not accidentally upset you if we all decide to get Thai. Hope that makes sense. But yeah, I also know I am just one of many Fe users so that could be different as we go along. Thanks!

As an INFJ I can say you illustared it vice versa. I always know when people are not comfortable with talking about something and I will never ask / talk to them about it for that reason. While my INFP fried would ask me wierd af super personal question just all of a sudden Fe demonstates high level of agreebleness so I will never continue with something other person don't like.

When Fe users are asking to "show your socks" they know (and expect the other person to know as well) that they are not asking this 'literally'! The question is not designed to gather knowledge, its designed for 'social gesturing'. The Fe user's Ti thought behind the sock question is that -> "asking about each other's socks passes as a kind of social gesturing, and social gesturing makes (Ti) sense" But Fi users receive the sock question with their Te, which makes them 'reason' it differently I suppose. I am guessing for Fi-Te users, if the person asking the sock question is someone they (Fi) like, then the question will make more (Te) sense and it might not bother them so much. Is this a reasonable guess?

Great example ! Does the mood of Fe users depend of the mood of others ? Years ago, my ESFJ mum trying on a sweater: "Come look, do you like it ?" Me INTJ: "The most important thing is that you like it." And her partner ISFP didn't care at all, he was waiting outside.

I was already an internet friend, but now i'm an internet friend who will receive notifications whenever you upload new data points.

Wow, I love the example you did give, it’s brilliant and does deliver the idea in the best way possible✨🧦😭 As an Fe user, this is true, that’s what we actually want to know, YOUR FEELINGS so we can know how we deal with that person, but it’s happening in undirected way and in direct way with those close ppl to us or those who are open with their feeling, as Enfj with Ni as my second function, we can read that, or at least have an idea about it, and mature ones can easily read and know the feelings of others and any slight change that happens to it, so the first one who might notice your doldrums is an Enfj or even an Infj if it’s not that clear I’d think about all possible situations and making them count so I can be confident when I actually talk and kind of know what I’m dealing with…. But if a person doesn’t really want to share that part, I completely understand that, since the reason I asked or offered to listen is to make them feel better, because that’s for me it’s a relief when I do it, and for some ppl it’s actually not talking about it… So it’s respected… And it's annoying if the Fe user is just curious -_- and here where the Fe user would actually get upset when they’re being rejected🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♂️🤣😂 rather than respecting other’s lines… And maybe a tip in that situation, just be nice, say thanks for asking I appreciate that, but I don’t feel like sharing, cause they might asked because they wanted to help, so don’t push them hard, especially if you really care about your relationship with them, cause they would take it personally 🤡 When I ask my friend even a stranger HOW YOU DOIN ? I genuinely care about the answer, unless if I don’t really respect that person but end up greeting them in a social situation, Have a good one, love your videos :’) ‏

As an entp with fi blind I never considered this. I don’t like getting too hung up on feelings because to some extent they make me cringe but mostly it’s my lack of awareness of or importance I place on my feelings that makes me assume that it’s just not that big of a deal to ask people how they’re feeling or trying to get some reaction out of them

I’m an INFJ but still can relate to this. It’s annoying some Fe users don’t understand boundaries and privacy😭

As an INFP my Fi is savior. My high Fe sister always struck me as as needy when it comes to the tribe but perplexed when it comes to me. What she never seems to grasp is that there are people in this world who consider focus on "socks" to be an utter waste of good mental energy and life span.

As an INFJ who is pretty comfortable in the chaos of humanity and who doesn't need to know what socks you are wearing... "Hey, nice laced up military combat boots." :)

Exactly...I have this issue especially with dominant Fe users enfjs/esfjs..they just should know how to respect personal boundaries..and the interesting part is secondary Fe users infjs/isfjs are so much better..they're calm and listening to whatever you're saying and don't force u for more information and tertiary Fe users entp/estp again have this issue with personal boundaries..they just want to know more and more about you..Fe users are showing themselves as kind and gentle person maybe they are really kind and gentle..idk..but when their asking about my emotions/memories and informations about my personal things in general I'm thinking what are the motivations behind these questions? So I'm dodging every single question wich makes them more curious somehow😅 but now I understand they're just gathering data because of their extroverted function. Something that is so normal cause I do this for my logical system aka Te all the time

Drives me crazy when Fe people say "give so and so my love". I'm like if you love them why don't you pick up the phone and call them yourself? I am not here to be your love proxy 😂

If I want to share my emotions with someone, I'll do it on my own terms... and in the strictest privacy...

Interesting! Sometimes the Fe thinks the data is more of a need than a want. This issue I can clearly see how it can frustrate the Fi.

This explains so much! I couldn’t put the fe and fi dynamic into words but you summed it up really well! Being aware of an Fe user around me I will consciously say how I feel (a shallow emotion) just to give them some (artificial) bread crumbs to suck up lmao 😂

As an INFJ, I don't need to ask for people's emotions, I just feel them and unfortunately absorb them. It is annoying because I don't ask, but I might ask why someone is feeling that way, then they look very shocked and dumbfounded.

INFP here, with an ENFJ sister who was always irritating me as we were growing up. Your skit nailed it, as did your explanation!

This video is eerily timely!! I have had two conversations this week where I was being challenged by me not "showing my "socks". I am so moved by the irony here that I'm getting ready to record a public reflection so I can unpack the relevance. Brb.

The only times I feel uncomfortable sharing my thoughts are when I think someone is going to judge me as a result, but I don't feel an inherent privacy towards my thoughts or feelings. Like if I was around someone non judgemental, I would happily and openly share my thoughts, ideas, and feelings. The only reason I wouldn't is if some external force was making me feel like being fully truthful is unacceptable.

Great analogy with the socks. I actually was going to look up Fi and this video popped up. Thanks for making it. 👊

Damn you are good. Been looking everywhere for this.

Wow, very helpful. Fi makes just that much more sense, because I can see how I do the same thing with Ti, like all the time. (Now whether I remember that for irl interactions, that's a different matter.)

I love your analogy. 😆 Tasteful, but vivid in how it illustrates the point. And it helps me clarify a thing or two regarding myself. I thought for a while that I had to be an ENFJ because of how much I love a good, deep connection with another person and I do seek those things, but now that I think about it, I look for them largely on my own terms. Group dynamics automatically put some limiters on what I will open myself up to, even with someone I trust. I will comply with the group in so far as I am content in doing so, but if I feel too restricted or encroached upon by it, I start wondering if I am just wasting my time and energy on it.

Being in a toxic relationship with an extreme taker will have you develop Fe and feel like it you owe it to everyone.

I really like your sox analogy, and the combat boots as a psychological defense mechanism to help hide them. Every time someone wants me to "show us the Fe", i feel invaded. It feels like they want, or are trying, to control me [I'm INTJ also]. Ellie R called it passive aggression, so I think many of us feel invaded by this.

Hi Lindsay! Thanks for this video helps me :). As an Fe user I definitely feel the same way when somebody ask me to share my Ti. I'm like, euh excuse me my Ti is not for grabs! And if it should come out it's because I want it to or by accident lol. As an ISFJ I have Ti as 3rd in my funcion stack so it sometimes comes out aggresive or immature.

Te/Fi people, stop trying to pick my brain please, and I promise to leave your socks alone 😁

This is maybe what I've been going trough. As an INTP, I have a fight with my (used to be) my ISTJ best friend. She angry coz I don't wanna share my thoughts (eventho I promised I will share my thought, it's hard cuz I don't wanna share smth that uncertain and I am not sure about it) and I don't understand why she is angry and she lashing out, when I ask her why she is angry she just getting angrier. If she didn't share her feelings how I supposed to understand the problem is. Gosh.. Now she refused to talk about anything except our similiar interest. When I ask her about her personally she just keep ignore it like I doesn't exist. It is so painful. Idk how I supposed to do, it is frustating. I come to conclution of how childish her behaviour is

i;m also intj, and i totally get it. i've had gf's complain that i'm stoic. i can be really funny, but i never reveal anything emotional.

I don't owe you any sock exposure 😂😂😂

Omg! I love the sock analogy! So incredibly accurate!

It makes so much sense why Fi people willingly tell their emotions to people, while Fe people are afraid to do so. We (Fi tribe) do it, so that Fe people stop to bother us with their solutions to our emotions. Most of which are wrong, because they don't understand the mechanism behind it. They see only external emotion and mostly just guess incorrectly what it is. So Fi people just tell them, so Fe people can react with proper action. It works similar for every other function pair

As an Fi user I can say it feels like they’re asking to see our briefs instead of socks but that’s a conversation we’re not ready to have

1:08-1:11 - Yes. I struggle with object permanence on top of this so my mind often discards the last save file that I have if I haven't actually been in contact with the other person recently. It deems that data as being obsolete so then I go to acquire fresh data from the people that exist within my dimension of reality -- I'll check in. My use of Fe (INFJ) is out of concern that I have neglected my people and hopefully not at their time of need or of their growth. I do respect the need to privacy over one's own personal data unlike these companies that sell your information without concent. It's my hope that over time, others will feel comfortable enough to share the heavier matters with me and know that I won't judge them for it because we built that foundation early on by not taking a crowbar to people and trying to force a sealed box open.

You could not have chosen a better example, very relevant and accurate.

Great video and excellent analogy! As lead Fe, I constantly ping off the tribe. I need their input because I’m not confident I’ve done things correctly with my inferior Ti. I don’t mind sharing my thoughts but don’t make me explain them please!

I am INFJ. I think this annoying Fe stereotype applies more to Fe doms (ENFJ / ESFJ) than those who have Fe auxiliary, tertiary, and inferior. Fe is really about understanding immediate reality by trying to get the vibes and emotional atmosphere of a situation and acting accordingly to what they perceive is the emotional and social setting of a situation, and by extension society (e.g. by observing social norms and etiquette -- this is why ENFJ and ESFJ are often stereotyped as superficial and concerned with social status, since they basically understand reality as trying to fit in and adapt to HUMAN NATURE and being a social chameleon as a means of survival). The positive aspect of being Fe dom is that they often truly care about helping others, setting a good social atmosphere for everyone, so that no one feels left out, because basically they understand what it feels like to be in a specific situation, they can put themselves in the shoes of another person and try to see their emotional perspective and attenuate to the needs of others, which an Fi user can't or has a hard time grasping. The negative aspect is when an Fe dom manipulates their way through charm, flattery, guilt-tripping, blackmail, or just ruining someone's reputation through gossip and drama since they could really be good at this if they wanted to. I think the mistake Fi users make is to ASSUME Fe is just stupid or annoying, they forget the fact that feelings and emotions are a legitimate aspect of reality and can even be understood and scientifically studied. This is why entire societies can be swayed by the high-strung speeches of a charismatic leader, why some people get lured into cults, and on a much more practical level, how marketing works by appealing to the wants and needs of your target market.

Solitude is Gold.. people are tiring

I suspect my daughter is an INTJ. This explains why she doesn't readily share what she's feeling with me. I'll back off a bit now for sure. Maybe just present myself as there for her whenever she needs me.

Alright, but how do you connect to an Fi user on a more personal level (friendship/romance), as an Fe user, without being annoying? It's like, we now know what NOT to do, but what should we do? :) For context, I am an ENTP (Ne/Ti, double activated Play in OP), and the person I'd like to have better relationship with is an INTJ (Ni/Te). I can understand both perspectives in the socks analogy (btw, great analogy!), but naturally, I relate to the Fe user more in this scenario. Any ideas or suggestions from Fi users or people who are good friends with Fi users?

ENFP here. The socks metaphor is soooo accurate. You have no idea how I feel when Fe tries to unveil my emotions, like if I can name it emotional harassment, I very much would! It’s kind of creepy though no offence, like I feel violated😂 It feels like someone ask me to dress more revealing, rather than cover up. And there was one time I tried those mental health mindful therapy thingy people like to go to, and the therapist had those typical Fe ‘soothing’ voice, and my emotions felt ‘naked’ and very uncomfortable during the process. I stopped going to the following sessions entirely. I think I will just stick to self therapy and keeping my emotions to myself😅

I also have an INFJ temperament, but this example with the socks is really the dark side of Fe. I'm very aware of passive agressive behavior. My mom was an Fe manipulator and I swore I would never do that to people. The dark side of Fi is a selfish self-absorption to the point of being indifferent to others, but I also know Fi users who make a point of learning how to listen and respond to others as if they actually exist in their own right. I'm 72 and have learned over the years that knowing and learning the shadow functions are key to living a life based in love. As an INFJ, that means I have used every means possible, from counseling to journaling to actually know what I feel, want and need and learn to speak up on my own behalf. It's never as natural as Fe, but so necessary to live a balanced life.

My INTJ girlfriend blocks me when I'm emotionally weak 😬 . INFJ. We quarrel at times.

I think Fi user tend to get tired to socials easier (especially ones with lots of people or with Fe user) because we would usually fake our reactions like exaggerating emotions or keep thinking what should I say whenever they start asking those random and short questions like how are you finding your course or how are you liking London. These conversations drain my energy so much and I feel uncomfortable as well. Do you think this makes Fi user more “introverted” than Fe user? As in not liking to go to socials as much.

Maybe I don't want them to know I have odd socks.

As a dom-Ti inf-Fe user, I don't latch onto people to know their emotions about any subject. Hight Fe users, especially sensory (ISFJ and ESFJ) are the real menace in that regard. I like to be left alone, I don't like being questioned. But at the same time, high Fi users annoy me sm. There's some ExFP coming into a room and telling everyone how they feel about a certain thing when everybody else is yet to see the thing and spoiling the mood, never giving a chance for other people to decide what they would feel about the thing without being compromised by other's opinion. Who asked you, girl? I know why Fi users act like that ('cause they don't give a damn about other people's feelings and think that their whining won't affect them in any way), but it doesn't mean I should like it. INTJs are less prone to do it regarding their own feelings, but they have no problems sharing their ENFP friden's unsolicited feelings on the matter.

sometimes i don't want to be interrogated on my emotional state. sometimes i just want to exist in the state i want to exist in, even if it doesn't suit people's expectations for me. but, my Fe dom best friend will has an almost intrusive way(much like the example you showed) of talking to me, of getting any information she can, when she doesn't need to know. asking things like *silence* "What is this?" or "You're killing me(like im doing a bit)" and asking things not for the subject, but for the emotional response I give, which is an ulterior motive that I just rubs me the wrong way.

As an INTP, my Fe is so underdeveloped. I stopped listening to it and went full Ti. Fe still bothers me though.

"Sock exposure" lmao

OMG this video is sooo pristine!!! Thank you for the content.

Counterpoint - humans need to express emotions in order to connect with others authentically. Immature Fe can overstep and seek too much, but immature Fi needs to learn to open appropriately when relating to others, assuming a connection is desirable in the given circumstance. Edit - this is true even for those with Fi in the 5-8 stack (like me, INFJ). If you want to go "deeper" with someone on some level you have to accept that they deserve some Fi insights.

Fe: Look at the ocean. Look how it reaches out to the infinite horizon! Fi: Yes, but have you explored its' depths...

Two things: I find that my ESFJ mother cna really push my buttons by gonig into sensitive emotionla territory for me, but I am better at communicating with her about that stuff hen I've cooled down enough. The other thing is that my therapist would likely get MBTI test results of INxJ (I don't know her outside of therapy, so I can't be certain either way.) Something that got my attention is that I asked her once how she's feeling and she needed a bit of time to think about it and to respond. The stuff that I feel strongly enough is there to the point that I can fairly quickly decide if I want to downplay it and how much. I don't know if she's just really good at picking up on patients' emotional vibes, but I wonder if she was in Fi mode or was used to focusing on patients' emotions that she needed time to check in on herself.

As an INFJ I’m so glad my TI function kicks in before my FE goes out of line as well. 😂

Love your channel and this topic is really interesting but in defense of the Fe side, I think the way you talk about Fi also reveals a lot about INTJs thinking process. You explain the Fi feelings are very personal and not necessarely relevant cause it's subjective so you don't want to share it. But that's the thing, the Fe user sees it as relevant cause those subjective and personal feelings are a part of you and reveal your tastes and preferences as a particular human being. So this is relevant in regard of yourself and your individuality. It's one of the aspects INTJs eventually learn to develop in order to be generally more likeable and approachable because they acknowledge and share their emotions. The Fe user wants to know you because they want to please you. Now don't get me wrong, some can become very intrusive when it's very personal stuff but there is certainly a lign to determine between what is ok and not ok to share. You can compare it to Te and Ti actually. Not all Ti users want to share their ideas cause they can find it's too personal, controversial or irrelevant cause they have the Fe to see it is. And yet some Te users tend to insist on feedbacks and to be annoyed when you didn't share it earlier but sharing it wouldn't necessarely bring something valuable to the table.

This is so interesting and now I get it more... I am INFP BUT I am extremely interested and schooled in Ni and Fe (my opposites) by decades of study in intuition work and emotional work, and my Value system valuing parts of Fe and Ni very much at the middle top of my values. I feel that both Fi:s and Fe:s get very annoyed with me because I in some ways function polar opposite to Both of them. Way too individualistic and controversial for the Fe:s and way too heart on my sleeve plus just Knowing and Feeling how most people feel and what they value even though they hide it. (I really value transparency and vulnerability - I have seen the beauty and fruits it can promote.)

i have a group of friends that majority of them are Fe users (more like a lot of ISFJs and an INTP) and even though i love them, i find hard to relate to them sometimes, i feel like the different one of the group (as an Fi user)

1:35 As ENTP, having dated an intj, this was the best. She hated it. It’s nothing personal, it’s just data

My response: "I'm not wearing any socks!" 😉

I’m an INFJ and I have an ISTJ relatively close to me. It comes across like his Te statements are always absolute but simultaneously acting like a lightning rod to try and bait my Ti, I refuse to share my Ti with him because I know he can’t understand, but this is probably due to my Ti mainly analysing the conceptual, but I’m sure it’s kind of the same in the reverse for you/him with someone like me. Edit: Why is Te parent so certain about everything??? What do you think the difference is in Te parent with an INTJ v ISTJ?

I actually like being asked "How are you?" That's why an ISFJ is my perfect match. I am an ESFP.

I expend a lot of effort planning what emotion I want to express. Unfortunately I find that if you don't have your excuses pre-prepared then people will ask too many questions😆

this doesnt bother me too much . but what does bother me is when the Fe user assumes they know what kind of socks im wearing , what color / print they are , where i got them from , what size shoe i wear 😭 , etc . more than i do . & { back to the actuality of it , being feelings ) thus , what is best for me , more than i do , especially if they have Ni , & me being an Ne user . all love for Ni , but .. these are just our cognitive *tools* 🧰 . nor Ni OR Ne ( or even Fe ) is equivalent to being God , all knowing , or omniperspective ( indeed , im making up a word lol ) . & i think thats something us high intuitives can forget . theres also a difference between being lovingly helpful & being intrusive , imposing , or even controlling w|o even knowing all that you think you know 🥴 via putting * your * own ideals onto others . kinda cancels out the whole purpose of Fe at that point .

Subbed. (ENFP here)

The passive side to Fe is the fact that there is no processing time. I can react to something emotionally faster than I can Ti process if it's grounded in logic or emotion or a ratio. Fe can also very much operate in the background as something I am constantly absorbing and aware of. Maybe it is because its tertiary for me, but it acts as a backboard for me in the sense that I always sort of can feel if what I am thinking or doing will be valued or judged a certain way. I don't always listen to it, even though I know what I am doing would lead to criticism or resentment. I think people tend to focus on the more proactive/conscious side of Fe. It sometimes keeps me from going down a Ti rabbit hole because I can imagine what the general consensus would be and then I would use Ti to weigh the pros and cons and break down to see if [the thing] is logically sound

the sock example moreso displays immature Fe users. as a Fe user myself, i make it a point to avoid being invasive by gauging their reactions. not every Fe user is this much of a utilitarian, and we tend to avoid provoking conflict. if we're using the sock example, i would notice their choice to hide their socks and not press any further for the sake of sustaining social harmony.

Do you ever feel that Fe is "fake"? As an Fi user? Coz when Fe users Fe me, I tie that into oh maybe we have a personal connection with each other over time, nekminit, theres no progression and they do it to everyone...

Wow this is pretty much how I (Ne-User) pester Ni users for thoughts and ideas hahahaha

That really socks dear Lijo! 😆👍🏻 😳🤯 Intense knowledge. Enfp Thinking of: Tech communication makes IT Harder to "observe" No diploma in mind Reading. 😆 Long distant Relationships with No shared Quality Time to understand and observe fully...is IT even possible to understand and the how the Person really is Like?

Great example.🙂 If it helps anyone(fi/te) see some value in Fe; I, as a ti-savior, have some built-in interest in your contentedness and well-being. I would like to see you content enough, because I have this bloody thing called care. And for me I'm trying to bond with others by asking about their "socks," and as a sometimes inept freak it has sometimes saved my rear-end to gather how other people "do human." For instance to dress like my peers to avoid being targeted. It's not that I want to be you, I just ask for a crumble to raise my SF base-line. Copy some here, copy some there... taken altogether it forms a complete picture and I survive another day amongst the humans.

Oh, but Fi users are so cute with their "get back" stare, that it evokes our INFJ's little rascal to want to get you to lighten up and play with us...though, it seems that we only attract the lil rascal inside the ENTPs to come play with us, they understand our intentions better than most.

Now this is as visual as it gets! Fe really be annoying when it probes unreasonably. I've been wondering about this for Te tho and since Lijo, ur a Te user, I would like to know if this is true: I think that Te-Fi line of questioning is kind of like a job interview. Fi-Te would be a 1on1 "real talk" exchange. Ti-Fe would be a friendly, trolly or serious interrogation. Fe-Ti would be like them get to know you interviews (this video lol). This could be up for change. I cant fully confirm this. The Te-Fi ways of questioning trips me up so badly and u'll see why. I saw one conversation in the comments where the person A (Te user) asked person B for their opinion ("What do you think behavior is?") but then dismissed person B's answer as "PR and word salad" right afterwards bcuz prior to that question, person A saw a flaw to person B's responses, so it lead up to that question to test person B and even psychoanalyze them...ok. Why did person A formulate an opinionated question ("What do you think behavior is?) if u had an expectation of an objective answer? And not only that, u dismissed them in the process. Shouldnt the correct answer to that question be your opinion since ur asking for their perspective? Yeah...right? The question was formulated in a Te manner but u give an Fi answer. So I suppose u weigh in on the response and see how good or bad it is. So likely if its good according to the Te user's Fi (whether its objective or subjective), ur cool. However, if its bad, then they will call u out for that! Had the Te user just stated "What is behavior?", it would be clear that u expect an objective answer, no one would have to go through the nuance and I completely understand that I could be called out for getting it wrong. But apparently, according to person A, he told me "that was the whole point of the interaction". 🤨 So I guess they got what they wanted and see someone else's opinion (Fi). Although, it stirred useless tension. It goes back to my point that this was like a job interview (and u know how those questions screw u over.) This is so trippy because the Te-user implicitly does this, so its uncalled and the vibe is misleading as you dont communicate effectively on what the Te user was actually demanding (would that be the whole "hiding Fi intentions" in your video unless willing to say expose it?") This is indeed a very specific example, im not sure at all since that guy seemed more on the unhealthier side. But man!

[INFP] Yep; I find it perplexing that some folks believe we Fi-doms are best matched (romantically) with Fe-doms; in most contexts I find Fe to be at best irrelevant and at worst directly antagonistic/in opposition to my goals/aims/aspirations. On that note; an ENFJ's take on an INFP who refused to go along with the narrator's agenda/vision for their future: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-1ST9TZBb9v8.html

HANDS OFF MY DATA AND IM NOT WEARING SOCKS YOU WEIRDO!

entp me just said truthfully once to the intj that he had a look of certain celebrity person (who is average in popular btw) Intj was really happy, next day he dressed himself proudly like that celebrity and said half intj sarcastic wise that i was right🎉 thats entp me s short ne fe talk sometimes & which sock are you wearing? - even i will be getting triggered by this se-si nitty gritty non thinking mind set talk😅 & in fack i beat intj in a debate by how he helped people by giving them a simple best pathway and later forgot cz of intjs ni te fi has answer of se ne ti te si based all the questions but ni is too futuristic so even intjs didnt realise how he helped people

so uhhhhh how are you feeling? :) being silly aside, great video! i’m sure it’ll help a lot of people understand through the metaphor! (though i shall continue to eventually gather all the data)

So wearing combat boots is an INTJ /HNi thing and not just me?

GREAT video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh, you forgot to add that in general we INTJs ABSOLUTELY DO NOT give one single, solitary FLYING FUCK what others feel except for maybe as a secondary metric to whether or not we are meeting our Te goals - OR - maybe IF we consider the other person as a close, intimate person (close relationship or friend) of ours. YEP, YEP. ABSOLUTELY. FOR SURE. - INTJ

Madonna, Kobe Bryant, Trump, Bill Burr all have Fe in their upper stack and use it to get reactions, i.e. INFORMATION feedback! What's funny, what hurts, what stings, and how they can get an edge over their target, coupled with SE or NE and you get very dynamic characters. Anyways I loved your explanation.

Hey Lijo! Thanks for this video. It's been something I've been trying to process for a while now! Do you find that Fi users are more open to showing emotional data after they get to know someone well? Is there a point to where someone is comfortable sharing their Fi like that? Would like to be more respectful of people's Fi and to know what's appropriate and when

As i intj do you ever feel depressed

It’s true that as a Ti>Fe user I ‘need’ emotional data points to feel comfortable socially. You withhold your socks and I have no idea where to start on interacting. I have tried the ‘I’ll show you mine’ and the pinging off other topics approaches but that just ends up with blank looks more often than not. How do you communicate with each other?

So i did have a conflict with a fe user which made it clear to me that i am an fi user Fe - value placed on object, they would really take time and effort to have their value based on the object Fi- but for me as an fi user it is up to me (the subject) to determine on what is valuable. For non fi users, this may sound insanely self centered but here is it based on my conclusion; 1. Fi is something we cant describe, its a feeling that we know what is right for us what is meaningful for us 2. Fi uses Te to impose/enact on the object not Fe - this is what is valuable to me then this is what we should do, this can appear as pretty darn imposing like a hammer tbh 3. To be fair Fi is pretty hard to change, this is because we take years/a really long time for it to figure out what is for us its like building up a stack of cups, you have carefully built, if other people are building other things, youdont really care because building the stacks is personal to you. But suddenly, someone starts questioning it, or at least making it conform because the object does not value it, it can be really hurtful for us tbh we have built this for so long and now look at it

Fe, Fi... Fo, Fum?

hahhaha, the most INTJ analogy ever :D

This is so accurate

INTJ peeps, do you obligated or bound to reciprocate in the "showing of the socks?" Does impending sock-peeping-time create anxiety? If you felt obligated to show 'em to your significant other, would that perpetually violate a boundary? I'm particularly interested in how this internal judgement (I wouldn't make you show me your socks, who the heck do you think you are) has or could lead to resentment and eventual contempt within long term relationships - and maybe how you deal with that. @LiJo will you book a non-Tuesday? :)

Not all FE users are that curious ,, I don’t see FE users care about anything and FI users care about . When they wonder if they hurt the feelings of an Fi user they ask about stupid shit! One thing an FE user does absolutely not understand is loyalty , they treat everyone the same . They have no idea that if an FI user has a reasonably close relationship with them they expect special treatment above normies , they will treat u with high honor and expect it returned .

like herding cats 🐈 😻