When Life Hurts, Care Less About It | The Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius 

"We suffer more in our imagination than in reality."

Recently got diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer at 28. Had to have a tumor removed. Lot of people around me acting like it’s the end of the world for me. While I meanwhile remember these lessons of Aurelius and am very ambivalent to the news. It just is what it is, if I die I die. Oh well. Edit: People keep asking if I’m dead, i can’t very well reply even if I was dead now can I? Edit: to those wishing me well, thank you. I am still alive. Been getting control of the situation more. Edit: May 15, 2024 Still here. Goin strong, some days feels like Mind over Matter is a genuine help.

"We are not affected by what happens to us, but by what we tell ourselves about what happens to us." Epictetus

"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this and you will find great strength." -Marcus Aurelius

"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”― Marcus Aurelius

"Worrying is like trying to figure out how to cross a river you might not come to." - Louis L'Amour

I’m currently suicidal. This and many of your other videos are showing me how I can have a future. Thank you for going to such lengths to share all this knowledge with others.

My life changed (for the better) almost instantly when I realized that “not giving a f*ck” was not only okay, but essential to being happy. I also stopped watching the news, which helped even more.

One thing I have realised is that you can never outrun your problems or negativity in this world you just have to accept this is the world we live and focus on things you can control to make it a better place if not everyone then at least for your family

"The future only bothers us because we think about it. It does not exist outside the mind."

Interesting fact: the song that is played at 4:15 is called Seikilos Epitaph, and it is the oldest surviving musical composition. A man left it written on his wife's grave and the lyrics says: "While you live, shine have no grief at all life exists only for a short while and Time demands his due"

I am sick and tired of feeling anxious all the time. I can’t taste what i eat i can’t sleep properly i can’t communicate properly i can’t even do the hobbies of mine that i used enjoyed. But i watched this and i haven’t felt this good for a long time. It was a huge relief. Thank you A LOT..

It isn't life that hurts. It is always people that hurt everything. Life itself doesn't do anything on its own. It's us!

I once had a problem with dismissing my own needs and happiness in hopes of gaining my family's acceptance and affection. I endured their dysfunction and abuse. This then spilled over into people pleasing behavior with friends and work as I grew up. There too I stayed loyal to friends who used me and terrible working conditions. Eventually the demands became too much and I had a breakdown shortly after my one real friend died... having committed suicide at 33... and I was no closer to real love or acceptance with my family who behaved cruelly in this time. I had closed my real self off. I began to set boundries and was met with lashing out... people who have grown used to getting what they want from you do not care for when you begin to build and maintain reasonable boundries....which reinforced my decision. At first I was saddened by lost relationships until I realized all I had lost were chains I had given myself. As recent years have passed I see I was chasing something that was not there to be caught, and my own responsibility in the cause of my sorrows and the cause of my contentment. Since that time my mother has passed due to her alcoholism. I would still be happy to have a healthy relationship with my remaining family but have also learned to accept that might never happen. I cannot force it but only be open to its possibility. I can instead be open to what life has to offer now and do my best each day without the expectation of anything other than my own satisfaction and that has brought me a lot of peace of mind.

This was my key to happiness. I used to worry about everything, now I don't worry about anything. I woke up one day and it hit me, I value my time more than money. I had never been more broke, but I never felt more rich. Money, material things, nothing compares to time!

The more I listen to these messeges and apply what I've learned the easier my life becomes. Turning 77 this May but it's never too late to improve one's life😊 Thank you from my whole heart❤.

Stoicism has truly helped me so much in coping with my anxiety. Seneca's Letters From a Stoic is also one of my all-time favourite books, and I recommend it to anyone who struggles with anxiety.

Accept what is, what was, and let them go. Don't dwell on things out of your control. Accept what happens and move forward with life.

I’m so chill that people look at me like I’m emotionless but I’m running through every emotion in my head all the time

"Life's a bitch, and then you die." - My grandpa. Wise words that I remember every day.

My dad died seven months ago and my mum, who meant the world to me, passed away a few days ago...I feel like a little child (I'm 38) lost in the dark...but I know that things we can't have control on, may destroy us if we let them be our master. I'm not afraid of death anymore, just living the only thing that matters: the present time. I'll keep moving forward and live my life, entirely, completely, without thinking about what could happen in the future or what could have been avoided in the past. Sorrow and unhappiness wanted to invite me for dinner, but I did respond: "No, thanks. I'd rather eat alone if you don't mind" (Julien, from France) Danke schön Einzelgänger für dieses Video.

I think I have probably read Aurelius’ Meditations more times than any other book in my life.

Basically, don't get upset, mad or worried about things you can't control. You can't control the future, so don't worry about it. You can prepare for it, but you can't control it. You can't control the past, so don't dwell on what should have or could have, don't let it consume you.

This is actually exactly how I survived being diagnosed with MS and put on 2 different types of chemo for it. From 2015 to 2022, I had to stop caring to survive. I had to stop caring about everything I was losing in the process. Luckily I have no children so as hard as losing everything is, I consider myself lucky. I had to stop caring about my career that I could no longer do. Had to stop caring about my awesome credit, my car I was losing, my independence, my education (cannot work in my field of choice). Best thing I ever told myself was to stop caring about everything but my health in which I could control. 7 years later and picking up where I left off finally. Hoping I can get off disability and stay off while not caring. It’s a weird place to be in when getting an education.

You say, “thank you for watching.” I say, thank you for putting out content that gives valuable perspective.

He is my favourite Stoic . Marcus was practical and wise . His philosophy actually taught that it is wise to prepare for death .

The Word of God says it best “do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has it’s own worries” :)

The issue with stoicism is the idea that luck favors the prepared. Ideal stoicism is essentially think less and act more. You absolutely should worry about the future, just worry through action instead of thoughts.

The problem is one cannot just “flush away” the past by not thinking about it. The past can be with us as trauma that does not manifest as thoughts but instead, emotions and behaviors that can be from very buried sources. We amount in the present as a culmination of our genetics, upbringing, choices made and not made, and of course, randomness. Therefore, though we only live in the present, a sliver of time, the past always lives within us. It is true that we should let go of that which we have no control over that is external to us, but past events that shape us (internal) cannot just be let go of. Don’t dwell on the past but learn from it. Great video overall as usual

I have a war in my country, stoicism helped me to meet it without succumbing to fear, I am grateful to know this philosophy, it's practical and useful

'You have power over your mind,not outside events' Marcus Aurelius is one of my favorite philosophers. Awesome video Sir

If one could cope with the present,one could also cope with future.This is so comforting to me.

I have been suffering for a while now, in silence! Isolated! Thinking if life at all worth living! Maybe this video is a sign not to give up just yet!

I was recently told by someone i am stoic then i looked in to what it is and here i am still discovering stoicism.

Stoicism and Buddhism helped me through Cancer. It allowed me to recognize that no one is guaranteed tomorrow, so be in this moment.

Most suffering is caused by the mind when you have too much time to think and your mind isn't fully occupied. My solution is to stay busy and keep my mind fully occupied in my work, hobbies, and interactions with people and fill my head with positive media (TV shows etc.) This keeps me fully in the moment and gives me no time for my mind to wander and think about the past or future or things I don't have or anything. I have found that keeping my mind fully occupied is the absolute best medicine and way to stay happy. It doesn't take a lot of philosophy or deep thinking to do either, just stay fully engaged in the moment through positive activities and you will crowd negativity right out. The only time I'm really unhappy is when I'm left with too much time where I'm mentally unoccupied to think.

The past and future are not real; they're accessed only through the present. Do what you can and when things don't work out, then acceptance is sometimes all that's left

Life is 10% what happens to you, 90% your reaction to it - Charles R Swindoll

"When life hurts, care less about it." Easy for an emperor to say. When I don't care about life, I end up homeless.

Im currently at terrible place by losing my job for the second time in big corporation and divorced in same time which brought me anxiety and negativity in everything becoming so bitter that I always yelling at my own parents.. but after seeing this vedio and reading a comment here I realized that i need to change and work everyday and stop procrastinating which is really hard to do but i will do my best to beat my failure and to win again by not expecting anything just to work and be happy that i gave all in this day for everyday till the day i die

I like to live by “expect the worst, and hope for the best” So I always kinda feel prepared when shit things happen, and when good things happen then I’m glad, but don’t fear disappointment

3:38 - being diagnosed with an aggressive cancer a couple of months after retirement is exactly what happened to a very good friend (a former colleague) of mine. It was devestating. She died about 18 months into her retirement, having spent those months in fruitless radiation and chemo therapy. So yes, sh.t does happen.

I have been suffering lately, because of the things that happened in the past, and I have extreme worries of my future. When I was okay, I have always thought that I am a rational thinker, yet when things began to break lose, it just shuttered me to my core. It affected my entirety. I felt like I was stuck to nothingness. After watching this video, I feel like or rather it made me realize that I have been marinating my self to suffering by regretting the past and worrying about the future, that I forgot how to live in the present. This video opened my eyes into a new perspective, I appreciate it so much, thank you. This is the kind of philosophy I need right now.

a “things we have no control over” situation hit me hard in highschool. a friend and i smoked what we thought was marijuana at a party - immediately after, an older girl told us it was an incredibly hard and scary drug. my friend started panicking and hyperventilating immediately, but i entered an eery calm because, what could we do about it? i calmed her down and the older girl admitted she was just joking with us. now when things start spiralling out of my control i tell myself, “you already smoked it” 🤣 and just let things unfold. stress isn’t going to help.

Thank you for making such wonderful videos! Every few weeks one of your creations pops up in my feed and I enjoy watching and listening what you share. It’s great mind food. Good upgrades. Great to be reminded or to learn new things about the psychology of our being. Thank you!

This guy was enlightened af. Wish we had more leaders with this mindset.

I feel like philosophy is telling you what you already know. As a kid i stopped caring and it helped with bullying or anything really. It was easier when i felt happy and stable. But now everything hurts again and i feel isolated and alone. Its been years feeling more and more depressed. I keep overthinking with chaos in my mind. Hopefully i can take the childhood-like wisdom and feel more okay again.

I have never been so depressed about my life and circumstances before. The past few months I’ve been so stressed and sad, my wife suspected i may have depression, as i just really want to cry everyday tho I didn’t. But this video really helps. It hits the spot. I will look at the present and what I have with more value, and I will learn to accept my life, instead of squealing like a pig. Marcus Aurelius is indeed wise. Thank you for this video

This is exactly what I was needing. Thank you! I will watch this every time I need a reminder.

I’m still learning. Thank you Einzelganger for your videos and books, they have helped me during these troubling times.

This is exactly how, I've lived my life,worrying unnecessarily about things I have absolute no control over.I really needed to hear this,thank you.🙏

Imagine being born with the birthright to rule over a kingdom, but serving them instead. Leaders like Marcus Aurelius are true Immortal Kings.

I have 'Meditations' - many quotes I try to live by “You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.” MA

People are afraid to be corrupted by power, but most of them are corrupted by weakness.

"It's about mind over matter. If you don't mind, then why should it matter?" A lesson I've lived my life by. Maybe not such a great way to live your whole life. But it's made me less bitter about a lot of things that should've made me lose my mind

"The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, for it requires being ready to stand firm and in a state of readiness against any onslaught made upon us." - Marcus Aurelius Stay Calm. Stay Wise. Stay Stoic.

I wish we had more stoics in the world today. We seem to have a whole generation who are fixated with the past, trying to change it, continually get anxious about the future and when faced with adversity seem to turn immediately into the “squealing, screaming pigs” Marcus spoke of.

Two of the MOST powerful and useful quotes for daily life are: "Oh well", and "It is what it is". If you wake up every day and envision everything that can go wrong and bad, and expect them, you cannot ever be taken off guard or surprised.

Reminds me of when my son was diagnosed with a plethora of issues due to a genetic abnormality. Everyone was so up in arms; couldn’t believe how we managed. I was stumped at their reactions as I remained ambivalent. I could only focus on the now & what I could control. It’s taught me a lot & I’m a happier person in general, for it.

Why is everyone so focused on numbing the pain, coming up with all sorts of mental gymnastics Just accept it, feel it, live with it It makes you alive Dont be a stone

It is because of content like this that I am grateful RU-vid exists.....

Just found this video when I was at my lowest. Now I am feeling better. Thank you. ❤️

Not stressing, analyzing, or being scared of my chronic pain is one of the biggest mind-body exercises that put me into a near remission. It’s not easy but it works

I think social media causes people to live simultaneously in their future and past. People go out to social events , not to have fun, but to film themselves being there. They are so excited to post their present in the future, just so people will be happy or jealous for their yesterday. Never truly living in the present. Be where your feet are, enjoy your present because it is the only true reality.

"The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.” Marcus A.

Coming out of a breakup where it felt like the pain of the past and my imaginations of the future was endless. This video has moved me to tears. This is exactly what I needed.

The society needs to teach children about this, so that they know how to live or accept this life.

this came at a great timing. I was suffering in my own head about the fact I didnt pass my driving test. I was exhausted, constantly thinking how much of a failure I was. I am making this comment in hopes that when I pass the test, I can remember this as such a small event...

This what the Bible said in Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

19 years old and trying to improve myself. Thank you for all the positivity!

Thanks for these life reminders. I have come to understand that the more immersed I am in nature, the easier it is to accept these ultimate truths.

I come to this video in the right time, just now, I feel misery in my soul, I feel how my heart is burning in flames of sadness, for a love, that maybe was never for me. But it still hurts as a blade in my chest can do. Now, I know that this feelings are just a reminder of my tragically thoughts

Stoic philosophy should be taught in all American schools starting from middle school

12:29 The thought about how we need to behave during adversity, truly amazing

Amazing timing, truly today was THE day for this. Unbelievably, on THE day I chose to not dwell on the past while fearing the future and errors to get worse. I decide instead, to look for something to bump me back onto the path and decide to look up Marcus Aurelius. Uploaded today. Also, I see the irony in me choosing to make a comment on the significance of some past event and how the present occurrence will move my future.

Dear Einzelganger, thank you for publishing many content regarding these. I find value and calming whenever I watch and re-watch them while continuing my spiritual path. Those reading this comment, you're already ahead than many who gave up at first sign of hardship. 2023 will be an amazing year.

I am going through a very deep depression at the moment. This helped. Thank you.

This video was exactly what I needed today- I had a hard time at work yesterday, made some mistakes, and was so worried about them that I had nightmares about them and their consequences. I came to RU-vid looking for an edifying Stoic reminder, and this was the second video on my regular feed. (I didn't even have to search for it.) Thank you for posting this and your other videos. They are very helpful.

I think it depends on the person. The thought of future events helps me plan possible outcomes and that brings me peace. Making the unknown known, puts me at ease.

I have this thing where if something truly heartbreaking happens to me or I’m losing my mind (about to take stage in front of a theater full of SILENT people), I try to zoom out and look at the cosmic picture. You can barely see our *sun* from several light years away…what happens here has never mattered to the greater cosmos on ANY level. Not only that but it’ll soon be forgotten, even on earth. It doesn’t work in every instance…for example, you would never think “so what if I kill this chick and dump her body in a lonely grave…Glip Glorp from the sombrero galaxy will never find out”. I guess if you’re the type of person who needs to be told that, none of this is going to be of any use anyway. But for things that either don’t matter or stuff that FEELS like the end of the world, it truly helps. Next time you’re about to speak in public or ask someone out, just zoom out and realize that none of this matters. In a hundred years, nobody’s gonna remember. Life becomes much easier when you stop catastrophizing everything on a cosmic level.

The message of Marcus Aurelius isnt to not care, its to recognize and reflect.

It was by accident I have discovered your channel on RU-vid and by far it's been the best thing that ever happened. I love your contents and writings dude keep up your amazing work. 👏

Can't hurt me if I don't give a damn!

I used to have an attitude like this. But the last few years and the passing of my wife have led me to a dark place. Every nightmare I have ever had has come true. I just don’t know how to get back. I haven’t been me in over a year. Everything hurts. I just want to be me again. I’m lost and can’t figure out how to get back.😢

Wasn’t the best saying about caring was one of Marcus Aurelius’ sayings with “God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the Wisdom to know the difference”.

This video on stoicism and the advice / philosophy of Marcus Aurelius, has deeply resonated with me and has profoundly changed my life! Live in the present moment. Everything that is explained in this video, I have been thinking about lately. This is one of the most important things I have watched and absorbed in years. Thank you for presenting this. I feel enlightened, humbled and satisfied. It’s exactly what I needed . Blessings will follow you , for this, all the days of your life.

Never knew any of this existed til about 15 minutes ago -- yet it's been my life philosophy as long as I can remember... Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Life's not about getting what you want, so much as wanting what you have. Yesterday's gone & tomorrow may never get here -- but, if it does, I'll deal wit it when it gets here -- but by then, it'll be today again. I'm here for a GOOD time, not a long time. Nice to know I'm not alone in this way of thinking. 😊

The one thing I have against Marcus Aurelius is that his belief in accepting one's circumstances came from a perch far above the circumstances of most of his contemporaries in an inherently inequal system of government. If he had been born into extreme poverty or disability or slavery, would he have believed as he did? I can see the wisdom in what he says and I'm sure he had his share of hardships, but it seems as genuine as the bankers who crashed the economy telling others to live within their means or authorities who abuse to their power expecting others to follow the law.

That is how the government take your right step by step.If you care less, you lose more, it is a dangerous thought…you should stand up and fight…

This video came just at the right time... Feeling very lucky to have your channel discovered ❤️

Easily the only video I should need this year. Thanks for all the reminders

I reached Aurelius logic by myself as a way to deal with my anxiety over dead. After much reasoning i understood that whatever might happen, if anything happens I would adapt, just as i have adapted to many situations, pleasurable and miserable through my life. I have also seen others manage to adapt to worst situations. Just as we cried when getting born and then we learned not to cry for everything, if something comes after death or nothing comes i will adapt, i might suffer but if thats the case suffering would never last forever. A medium, a balance will be achieved, at least if i remain conscious. Aurelius way of thinking is similar to my reasoning. Whatever might happen, you will deal with it. Another idea i created that helped me deal with the fear of death is that we have died every single day since we got born. We die everytime we go to sleep. The person you were 10 years ago is not the person you are today. You like other things, you apreciate different things. You want and desire different things. Your values, your needs are different. You are a clone of the you in the past. You remember different things and forgot many others. You are another person, even at a cellular level. So, you got practice dying and you did it naturally and even with pleasure every night you went to sleep and never you imagined you would die and another you would be alive the next morning. Your conscious "shut down", rewritten and turned on every single day.

Sometimes I wish I had a Time Machine to change my past

An hour ago I was starting to read Marcus Aurelius' Meditations for the first time ever while on the bus hahah. I love your videos man, they have helped me quite a bit and they have definitely fed my curiosity. Thank you :)!

This is something I really needed to hear. Perfect timing. Thank you!

I found this video at exactly the right time. It's what I needed to hear the most. Thank you so much for your videos.

"Whenever I'm feeling sick I stop feeling sick and be awesome instead. True story." Barney Stinson

Still learning to live these, it’s a lifetime’s worth of work.

Excellent video, thank you for sharing this timely message and reminder!

I’m so happy I found this channel. Blessings to all the good people! ❤