Unfortunately my adult son is a fool (as the Bible states it). He can’t stand being corrected. Sad truth! He will then turn around and start blaming me 🤦♀️
@@infinitybless7132 There's a saying - " A fool who proceeds with his folly will become wise" *** Embracing the fool archetype may contradictorally be the path 'through' and out of foolishness .. because I think only 'You' can personally make the right decisions for 'yourself' , and that includes decisions of what to 'learn' or what lessons to take on board and live by ... I guess it's like , you NEED to be able to see the folly inherent in yourself and your decisions , completely and without being able to redirect blame to any other person or thing >>> I'm not a parent by the way , so there's that haha
My perception is that narcissistic people are jealous of authentic people, especially if the authentic person is intelligent or interesting or possesses positive traits of any kind.
Not necessarily authentic people. It's everyone in general. They feel a deep sense of shame whenever they see positive traits in anyone. So they feel the need to be critical or begin to copy the individual
My husband qualifies as authentic. Calm, rational, thoughtful…in twelve years I only heard him raise his voice once and it was in deference of me. What gift of a husband.
Those traits don’t necessarily mean “authentic.” Authentic means direct honesty, zero bullshit and lies, and only speaks the truth. Also they don’t pretend to be something they’re not. Thats authentic.
That’s right, narcissists are now learning all the jargon to keep pushing to not be exposed, pay attention to the difference between what they say after ‘I am…’ and what they actually do, that’ll give you clues of the reality of who they are.
@Sleetstormwho know? most of the time they just don’t want to meet doctors so people have to “guess”. I did too but now I don’t care to label my mother as NP or something anymore, to me she is just too cruel for a human being, nevermind as a mother.
So I fit your meaning of Authentic person but I don't fit what the video says. I've always been told how authentic and genuine I 6 I do get angry at times, I do raise my voice, and I am ok with being a party pooper and leave somewhere when I want lol
Absolutely! When faced with narcs, it’s best to just keep moving forward like you say. There’s no need to entertain their hateful, aggressive nonsense, as they don’t even deserve the negative supply that they crave.
@@alangardiner872 I’ve lived with a true narcissist for over 20 years, I did plenty of compassion and once you allow them in, that is when they get their supply and you feel horrible and confused and mistreated. It’s a real illness and mine also had passive aggressive and stonewalling. It was hell, and I finally left and I have moments of authenticity but after so many years of that, working on it and climbing out of that hell isn’t easy. And there was true gaslighting. You are told lies that you know he said. And just when you think it’s safe, he acts out. It doesn’t end and they cannot say sorry. It’s a danger to my health if I have compassion for him. He’s in my life still bc he has to be for another year. He sucks me in and spits me back. I don’t wish this treatment on anyone.
Narcissists have an uncanny knack of finding and targeting those that are vulnerable and easily manipulated. They also have the ability to appear (normal) until you are deeply invested in a relationship with them, then all the ugly surfaces!
One must never be afraid to walk. Abuse is a no no be be at 10 days mark, 10 weeks, 10 months or 10 years. I'll Invest, sure, but also monitor the stock market regularly. If the return on investment is too low, it's time to go.
@@annatevesbanzon1359 Yup. Been told, "Only concerned about yourself." And this because I just went over to get the rent, and declined to take him to the store or loan him money.
I always feel that most people that are accusing others of narcissism are quite judgmental and narcissistic. I’ve never felt that I’ve met a narcissist or have had issues with the topic, but I’m very authentic and straight forward so perhaps narcissists aren’t attracted to me or I don’t see them.
@@Lyndsay.King1111 you will know when you meet one. They are usually diabolical. If you have healthy parents you may be protected from the realm of narcs because they have protected you in a way that narc parents do not protect their children.
The thing is though, death can come to anyone at any age. A 2oyearold may depart today whilst a 60yearold lives for another 20years! We can all work towards being/living authentic now, both younger & older.
Excellent topic. I'm 74 and have been learning about narcissism for 2 years. As the big picture began to clear away the fog my narcissist husband created, I began to discover my forgotten self. Not surprisingly, he upped the abuse. I didn't leave him - but only because he ordered me out of the house and to take nothing because it was all HIS. These people are baffling in their attitudes. I still shake my head and ask how on earth did they become like this? I'm looking forward, at 74, to living my own life finally. It will be tough financially, but I don’t need much and friends have stepped up to help furnish my new little place. Finally, I'm at peace with who I am.
did you have kids together? I've been 13 years with my bf... deep down I still love him. I just can't believe how he goes from being the best bf in the world, to 10 mins later transform into the cruelest monster out there and don't show a minimum of respect for me... like he never loved me. It's like an intense hate in his eyes. It's truly hard to believe... And the reason of his "transformation" might be something as stupid as I didn't wash a single glass of water immediately after he used it... it's like what these videos say: you will never be good enough for them, they will always find something that hurts you to tear you down... life is so hard with him when he's like this... and I did think about having kids with him... because I love him... but then I think about how many times *harder* it would get with kids... I don't think I could bare that... I went from having an extremely hard life living 26 years with my borderline sister (you wouldn't believe the things she did...) to live with my bf that happens to have a narcissistic personality 😔 what is life trying to tell me? lol
Funny fact is, when you set boundaries with a narcissist, they will usually claim that you are only seeing your side in the situation, as if you are the narcissistic. Best thing to do is to leave in silence.
Yes very true.. becos they don't see themselves from a 3rd party perspective.. they only see themselves as the most victimized person ever and when we set boundaries, we get added to their list of people who victimize them, because we stopped the supply..
Idc. He will NOT commandeer MY PORCH! "Like a good neighbor, STAY OVER THERE!" 😂 I refuse to say a word to him or acknowledge him or his kids!... but i rest assured that porch has a cam on it! The nerve! Lol
couldnt agree more...i think i have always been authentic, being child of both narc parents i can say that, thats wat saved me(being authentic)...no doubt that my wisdom is increasing with age but the authenticity was always there to begin with...its not something i caught on at a particular age
@@spdadventurer1754 seems like kids who come from narc parents go in one of two ways: either, they become JUST like their narc parents OR they become super empathic. Might have to do with high emotional quotient (EQ).
@@alex2b450 which means no one did a very good job at showing any of it? and if that is the case, who can blame them for not seeing! when it's the blind leading the blind, isn't it just par for the course! the way for all who have yet to truly lift the veil of the old matrix!? or "system"?! which makes all kinds of room for the real teachers to finally come out of the shadows... who knows? where it might lead? if we just tried, to be, better! and I do see wonderfully inspired comments around, these days! as more and more choose to get out of the system that blinded them one time too many! Trust is all but gone and love, wisdom and accurate knowledge, hopefully, will save us all! Psalm 91 alone, is wowing me daily! and notebooks filled with others, that keep me, in heaven on EARTH, in my own HEART!
Couldn't you just be comfortable with and valuing yourself but not comfortable with other people? Idk, I don't feel like I mask because I don't value myself, but because I think that the world is scary.
This is me, but I only just realized that it a gift and not a curse. I’m a leader of the new world, never meant to fit in, never meant to follow anyone. I’m here to help people heal and see the beauty of life and find the magic in everyday existence
Me too. Who I project myself outwardly "as" though, sometimes does change, depending on my mood, the time of the month and whether I have dark chocolate. I'm ok with that. :o)
I was thinking my sister went crazy after her mid life crisis but turns out i ran into narcissistic traits and she checks every box, they are dangerous ppl and turns out she seduced my dad so she could get rid of him, the reason i put this together is because i remember this conversation my future step dad had with my mom, that my sister would shower with the door open, and keep in my mind he hated my dad, he said he's pretty sure she did the same thing to my dad, took me 40 yrs but my sister for some reason tries to get rid of ppl, she very rude and pumps up mom to Believe my wife is a bad person, i nevr understood why she was always rude, and it was her way of the nothing, i noticed she was always jealous of her daughters, like shes 46 and can't let go of being everything about her. Yes it gets worse but before the serious one, she would always talk down on my kids, and im thinking what kind of person would try n hurt a kids feelings, that was it for me. And yes of course she became a big ultra maga supporter, like she cant back of her reasoning for real issues but she just says lil sayings typical maga would say, but she's gets really aggressive and offensive cuz i mock her cuz im not one to be bullied. But here's the kicker, she called me one night all drunk right before Thanksgiving unloading that she's been hiding frm the family that her daughter has cancer and she doesn't kno what to do eveb tho the 3 doctors recommended immediate treatment, but shes one of those magas that also doesn't trust doctors or medicine, so saying she not going the route or try anything help my niece have any fighting chance, just to fit her narrative she's willing to let her daughter die!!! And the next morning she texts me to forget what she said and that she was wrong for it, at this point im thinking she crazy, but im telling you all this to show that these are some dangerous ppl, i might have lost a father over her actions of jealousy, oh yea i forgot she's my half sister but i always called her my sister. It amazes how someone can cause all this wreckage and believe she has no sympathy for others but herself. I cut her off for my kids and wife, my mom is the hardest to convince how manipulative she is but you kno moms believe their kids are perfect
Yes or someone who is and has not been involved with a narcissist or more specifically THAT narcissist. If it were a random rude person talking over everyone and being a jerk it would be easy to walk away. When it's the narc stalking me, coming to my table of friends and interrupting EVERY time any of us speaks and trying to take over like heck am I going to continue calmly trying to move the conversation back or go home. I'm out with MY friends, he found out I was in pub X, he comes to whatever place I've been spotted in by his flying monkeys, tries to 'join us' without invitation and take over the conversation and night...yep we're all trying to avoid the drama and scene he will cause if we ask him to leave us alone, but damn, we're not going to accept him or leave either. We've got the point where girlie nights had to always be at my flat to avoid his BS. Since covid and lockdown that is changing, we are reclaiming our right to go out and not be harassed. When he starts that crap again we won't be making a quiet exit to my flat, we're standing our ground and getting him removed from bothering us. I don't think standing your ground or being assertive is not authentic. The person described in the video seems to be dealing with a narc who is nothing to do with them and part of that circle of people. A common situation and great advise for avoiding letting them in etc but not even possible when it's the uninvited narc who you've escaped!
@@jessicataylor7174 women out together and a known narcissist tries to join the group? Yeah right. Been there. Put socialised niceties aside and as a collective firmly state he wasn't invited along and he should leave you alone. If he refuses quietly walk over to security and explain it. At that point, he has moved from over friendly to harassment. If he argues with security over staying away from your group there's a good chance he will be ejected. A group of women usually spend more than one man. Other men usually spend more on women they like. Your group is an asset to the business. Just keep it polite to hold the high ground. And thank the staff so they'll look after you in future.
My best friend is an authentic girl. As a matter of fact, the narcissist guy called her dismissive to her face and she said “oh okay. Well, I hope you find what you are looking for.” And she is so very calm when she said it. And he said that he will block her number. And she said “okay, take care. Goodbye.” All calm and collected. I need to learn that skill
I've found that practicing this in online interactions first is easier and helps a lot. Normally I don't engage with online arguments but I'm not friendly either. One time I got a really negative reply on an innocent commemt and it felt so ridiculous that I asked the person if they were having a bad day and why they were so angry.l, and they actually apologized and said they were going through something, first time that I had a person online do a 180° like that, snd it felt so much better than winning an argument, it was actually really wholesome. So since than I've tried to be less confrontational and reactive when someone says an extreme thing to me because I hope to have that good feeling of making a bad interaction a good or neutral one, it makes me feel way more peaceful inside, even if I do have an argument I feel comfortable leaving it when the other person is being unreasonable and I'll feel proud thst I did that. I think this sort of practice will make a person resistant to toxic behaviour and not he effected by negativity.
@Autumn Leaves that’s not true for everyone. I’ve been with a narcissistic alcoholic for 15 years. I still love him with all my heart. I’ve learned through al anon to detach with love. It works for me.
Lol 😂 that took Confucius to 70 year’s old before he achieved that. I thought I could outperform him and I was wrong. Good luck 🍀 . But I’m sure you line works well for likes 👍.Humility isn’t popular nor is highlighting ones failures, however... errors well digested lead to profoundly solid transformations.
I think authentic people are always trying to figure out what is best and true, and they try hard to hold themselves to that standard. My husband is narcissistic, but not evil. I see him for what he is. I pray for him, redirect him, and praise him when I see proper actions. He was poorly socialized. He was mistreated as a child and retreated to a world of books. Fortunately, he was attracted to hero characters who always saved people, so I know that is his heart's desire, to be a savior. But he loves attention and praise and always turns every conversation back to himself. I get embarrassed by this and by his boastfulness. And it is super annoying how he loves to tell us about other people's faults and weaknesses, like it's fun to point out other people's stupidity or addictions. Then he tries to keep his own weaknesses hidden. He is an incredibly hard worker though, and he works very long hours in super uncomfortable conditions so I can stay home with the children. He is very skilled at fixing almost anything mechanical. He is a very good problem solver. He's a good leader at work, never asks his men to do anything he wouldn't. Sometimes he behaves emotionally immaturely, but other times he doesn't. It really seems to be strongly related to what "news" he reads and watches or what online social media he is interacting with. I do believe we are strongly influenced by what we read and watch and listen to. I think people are complex with all sorts of problems. I will always love him. And I will always pray for him. And I will never give up on him because he is mine to love forever.
We become our thoughts, habits, food, what we listen to, what we pay most attention to etc. We are simultaneously the product and creator of our environment 💜✨ your husband sounds like a wonderful man who will continue to progress, and you being there to guide and love him despite his short comings is definitely an incredible gift that I'm sure has and will continue to benefit y'all's individual and connected growth as well as the collective.
My oldest daughter is a very authentic person. I find that she is one of the only people that I feel safe with. Even her criticisms are done with love. I leave a conversation with her feeling happy, at peace, not confused, etc. She can make everyone feel special without lying or being fake. I never could figure out how she does it. She was born this way! I wish I was!
She is your daughter and therefore a product of you the ability for you to reckoning those traits in her says a lot of good about you and her ability to be the way she is.
Yes ....the Bible say when you know who you are in Christ what the world think does not really matter ,Im 46 years old ,and it took me long time of suffering because i was a nice person,very sensitive ,try to get along with everybody (i thougth),and was very reactive to what people do and say about me ...once i learn that it does not really matter (i Bring people in need to eat and sleep in my House and still talk bad about me ...),i know im a loving, compassionate,honest overall good person and thats all that matter,we will all meet same narcissist in our Life that tell us ,we are horrible,disgusting,sloppy ,good for nothing human being "know the truth (that you are a Beautyfull human being created by a migthy God at His Image and likeness,thats all you need to know) and the truth will Set you free"... And you will no longer Put your inner value dependent of acceptance and aproval from Others.We can Control other people mouth and behaviour but WE can Control how we react to it
Authentic people have a broad range of areas of awareness regarding personalities and temperaments. It’s similar to customer service at its best and mastering communication.
The older I get, the more comfortable I am with being the "weird" person in the room. In fact, it's become a beacon for me and helps me better figure out who is toxic, dangerous or who to avoid.
Narcissists definitely rely on social convention and "normalcy" to shame and control people. Most people kind of chuckle or raise an eyebrow at my odd behaviors, but the minute someone resorts to shaming me for benign but unconventional behaviors, I know exactly who I'm dealing with.
After two years of being "in love" with a narcissist I was only one step away from committing suicide. It was like he took me, threw me to the ground and shattered everything I was into millions of pieces - and then left. Now, two years later, I am grateful for this episode of my life, as it granted me the chance of becoming whole and true. I was destroyed and had to build myself new from the beginning - and while I was doing that, I finally learned to see and feel this "self", which was very different than the one I thought I was. In fact, he didn't shatter -me-, but the shell I was, build up from old wounds, old fears and old ideas. I am thankful for this experience and for the incredible opportunity to heal - not only from the wounds the narcissist did to me, but from the deep wound of being lost and disconnected from myself. I was a helpless, frightened child, full of fears and desperate to find someone who could save me.... now I am saved by myself. Finding this connection will lead to authenticity and nothing feels more comfortable than that. Finally, there's peace.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I'm glad you have realized your strength through a painful experience. I have come to the same realization after my very similar experience.
@@theresefournier3269 That’s really incredible that you brought that up today. I meditated on “I am a conduit to connect resources” and a harvester can be a person who collects resources for future use! What an incredible synchronicity from the Universe!
@@pesamesagisum Oh my! I hadn't even seen this last part of your comment until after I wrote mine! which is when i realized that, of course, and not surprisingly, you already knew! and yes, we are incredibly blessed my spiritual sister! and wise harvester!
@@Nina_Olivia Agreed. I find her refreshingly real - and authentically beautiful ... my mum was the same although blonde haired and blue eyed. She had that same unaffected beauty.. so fortunate...
I agree, n I see now we are all the walking wounded children doing our best, this helps to not judge others. But some of us work a lot harder at evolving into the person we were meant to be before it was taken away from us as a child. I have empathy for people who don’t realize it takes action instead of blaming. Unaware of this they are always searching outside themselves for the answers. I’ve also realized the only way to become authentic n receive answers is to go within. Learning to let go of the past by living in the moment brings calm / peace and creates space for less n less reason for subconscious reactions. And to be more gentle with ourselves, we’re not perfect all the time and that’s OK. The more u love yourself the more u can feel free to love others, even if it’s from a safe distance.
Narcissists are intimidated by authentic people. Authentic people attract the crowd, attention, and most of all the respect that narcissists so badly want, and they do it without trying. Narcissists know that authentic people see right through them and fear they will expose who they are.
My wife is very authentic and she is super nice to people. So people think she’s a push over. Then some one tries to mess with her and she gets extremely intense and direct and she melts them. Ppl will know her for years and won’t see this side. I haven’t seen this in anybody else in my life. Very unique and very awesome.
That's top level. There comes a point when a decent person has to let someone know there bullshit is not welcome and was never acceptable. Kudos to her!
@robhernandez1827Yeah I’m similar to this person’s wife and it’s not aggression. It’s just very direct, “Hey I have self respect and I will not tolerate disrespect”. It’s shutting the other person down without raising your voice or insulting, but just speaking clearly and seriously. No smiling or apologizing for shutting them down, instead being confident. Otherwise I’m actually a quite shy person that always wants to be kind lol
@@monicamiles4544 It's always girls making comments like these. I bet you are the problem. How could you possibly be abused by narcissists your whole life? Either you are delusional or you have been going from man to man looking for your "best source of supply" and found yourself being treated like a commodity, because you have made yourself one.
Authentic people are rare, in my opinion, and they are not dramatic, they’re real; content where they are. They do not care what other’s think of them and they move forward with their simple basic life style and that’s everything to them. They are enough.
Simple and basic life. Enjoying the things that money can't buy, like a kiss from my two year old grandson and watching him play and dance and he is so funny! Now for me that's living.........
@@HaleyMary Narcs are meant to be fleeting lessons. Wouldn't want to out or shame them, wouldn't stay either. Don't want to waste energy. I'd say a self aware person learns from a difficult experience. When a self aware person acquires a tool belt. It makes it easier to spot and resist them.
Yes.. Thanks a ton for solving all mysteries around unanswered questions of my lyf. U ve definitely changed infinite lives forever.. Blessed to have discovered a whole new world -knowledge of which - will definitely make me more useful to God, universe and world.. Focusing on only positives and my goals.
Bingo - so true. And when they speak the truth they are told things like 'don't be so ridiculous' and/or 'you lack insight' - told that enough times they can start to question their own sanity which is what the narc wants them to do.
@@oOIIIMIIIOo I feel you. That’s pretty much how I felt: confused and lonely, sad. Grown up figuring out why, giving me the strength to build my own life. Sending love ❤️ to you and your child.
as an authentic autistic who knew no other way of being i found myself in the damage of repeated patterns of these relationships again and again. only learning about (late diagnosed and untreated) autism (and also narcissism) helped me. i could never understand why my honesty and vulnerability could threaten others so much.i thought i was the vulnerable one, i was told by society that i was the “weak” one. but i always stood my ground with others in various relationships, no matter how crazy they made me feel. i was unable to lose my core self somehow. and for this, they seemed angry as hell.
I am not autistic as far as I know although I may be on the spectrum, I’m 64 & never been tested. I am an empath & super sensitive, but held onto my true self through it all, until the final discard. And there were times when it nearly killed me. My ex would say to me “You’re an enigma to me, no matter what I throw at you you’re always happy.” I realise now I was what he wanted to be, not what he wanted.
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
The problem is, you take things logically, and with empathy. Two things narcissists have no comprehension of. They will call you smart and intelligent, and then call you an idiot for tripping on a cord they left on the floor.
You just suffered throw that phase, but on the other side is a much stronger, congruent sense of self…and you won’t tolerate being labeled or duped into being a scape goat…it comes with the love of self (the healthy kind).
I felt so understood, it made me cry, while having flashbacks of situations where I made narcissists feel uncomfortable (unintended) with tremendous effects on my life. Getting wiser and older now, good to know that getting past this becomes easier with age!
Authenticity requires a great deal of mastering peace within oneself. This allows one to remain true to one self. Meaning you don't feel compelled to hide your true self. This level of peace and confidence rocks a narcissist to their core.
I see it the other way round. We are born authetical, but along the way we are forced to learn tricks and to be false in order to cope with sadness and nasty people (whatever label you like to put on them).
We are all born authentic i believe. We are at our most authenticity when we were a child but as we grow up we start to have big egos which is something we have to get rid of or at least learn to balance.
@@arrow1042 authentic birth would mean we r only genetics. Everything else is learned and Cultivated. We r not animals with a biological compass, we need to learn every thought and behavior
I must be Gold! I lived with a narcissist for 7 days and I just had to pack my car and go! Just trusting that spirit has something better for me. This man wanted all my time energy and money! Bye 👋
@@rainephachoumphone9175 you attract what you are! There are many many real and good people you have to stop judging every person and situation, do not give it your energy, then you truly will manifest what you want! Look at it all as a lesson, everything happening for you! The universe doesn't make mistakes! Everyone and everything is you pushed out!
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths,” wrote Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. “These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” . Can confirm. I feel blessed to be living authentically at 42 with peace in my heart and soul in alignment with who I am and my purpose. Trust me. When your peace and authenticity have been so hard won, you understand the importance of protecting it. But you also understand other people who haven’t quite gotten there yet.
I've learned in my experiences that part of learning how to be authentic in the face of narcissism is learning how to be authentic in the face of your own narcissistic tendencies.
@@Richard_L_Y everyone has the capability to be narcissistic to a extent. It’s about facing that and controlling one’s self no matter how much hurt we feel.
@@Richard_L_Y facing one’s own occasional selfishness is an expression of self-awareness and the exact opposite of narcissism. All of us are capable of callousness on occasion, especially if we’re under a lot of stress for reasons that seem out of our own control, but the authentic person backs up and says “oh wow I’m being selfish” and makes amends and changes.
The authentic person likes themself, is confident, self-ssured, wise, genuine, yet kind and/or neutral when dealing with toxic people. They have very healthy boundaries and are not duped by deceivers. Like a protective shield.
I feel best when I sense it within & around myself as an rich calming power emanating from within me, and it just so happens to repel. The “shield” concept felt like a protector from outside of myself. This self-emanating essence feels always present, always effective, if I focus on it. The best advice, the most effective advice that I have acted on as an empath… Was “focus on your separateness.” My whole world changed. Focus on your separateness. It’s the opposite of what we normally hear. Empaths don’t need to focus on connection; that happens automatically. We have to focus on separateness and feel what separateness feels like. Then we were able to feel our authenticity; And it feels so good!
Authentic people do get "bothered" by the narcissist, but their authenticity allows them to get over it in a heart beat. It's like swatting a fly away.
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
I mean when you take a step back and see the absurdity of it all, it's hard to take it to heart and give a shit. Though, it's always sad to see people being lied to, become disconnected from reality, and damage their relationships JUST for their ego.
Most of the people describe me as "genuine". And there was one manager who particularly used this sintagma of "authentic person". When I asked what does it mean (as English is not my native language) he explained that I am able to "leave" my body and judge my own actions as it was someone else, to distance myself from situation and make objective decission - which makes it much easier for me to learn and much easier for him to make me a great leader. I was so flattered.
I had always thought of myself as "authentic." But this made me realize that being a "people pleaser" is NOT being authentic to myself. Thank you, Dr. Ramani!
Best tips for you is don't involve in any unreasonable scenario but don't tolerate what will affect you and learn to reject somethings most importantly don't try to hurt others by overreacting.
I'd like to feel that, even just once. Whenever I feel any joy, any at all, something comes a moment later to take it away from me. I'm not sure if it's from abuse or a curse or a Demon doing it to me. It's happened so often I don't get happy anymore. I feel like I will be punished for anything good that comes my way. It will just be taken from me because I can't defend myself.
Having a child with disabilities taught me this exact thing your are talking about. In genera,l this has taught me whats important and whats a waste of time. Especially emotionally. I keep a good healthy antennae on narcassist.
@@lorimiller4301 u need therapy or some soul searching or both ..try being in solitude for a while, and busy yourself with personal development & develop your character, principles and values.
@@lorimiller4301 the power of our thoughts and minds are being plagued. Be careful what you think, and say. And spend time watching and listening to & reach out to God. This will change your life
I am authentic. I never realized that others weren’t. Until my (ex) husband’s double life was exposed, I had no idea of how authentic I was and how inauthentic he and others are. People seem to be drawn to me because of authenticity. Even better, I have found my tribe of authentic people.
Youre not authentic. Youre foolish and naive thats not a virtue you are just silly. The fact that you didnt see your husbands 'double life' is pretty much an indicator of that.
@@ThunderAppeal Authentic people can still be misled, ThunderAppeal. Authentic people are not mind readers. But authentic people don't become controlled by a narcissist. That's the difference.
When you are an honest, open, forthright person, it can be easy to (incorrectly) assume that others are, as well. It's quite an awakening to discover just how unbelievably naive you've been when you do finally seek out this information and study these character-disordered people for years. I was entirely CLUELESS there was such a large population of individuals, globally, who are so disordered that they have some kind of characterological disorder. Now I understand why people behave they way they behave, and nothing....literally nothing....that I see truly surprises me anymore. You are very fortunate to have found people who you believe are your tribe of authentics like yourself. I still haven't found those people.
If the Narcs have high social value and they get things done, then it doesn't matter. The group would not want to see right and wrong, they will choose from whom they get advantage,gifts Nd favours. Life isn't so fair and just as we expect it to be
@@8656737s Lemme guess, they also give you crap for being "rude", "disrespectful", "petty" for distancing yourself from her? Currently dealing with this from my partner's family. They can't fathom there'd be any reason you'd stop talking to a relative.
@@8656737s And as time goes by you will feel more and more at peace with yourself ! They never change and often they have one of the parents on their side. That makes it even harder. Keep strong.
This powerful and wise woman is literally saving my life. Growing up with a Narcissistic father and seeking solace in my brother only to realize he to is a narcissist. 35 years later I’m finally free. I’m grateful for you Dr Ramani, it’s finally time to heal and move on.
Hi Jonathan. I have some narcissists around me since I am an empath. What I noticed lately is they are very, very insecure people, way more insecure than the regular person. So you need to start to rely on yourself
My late aunt was definitely an authentic person. I recall an incident when I was a child where she said something noncombative (I don't remember exactly what it was anymore) and one of her cousins said "speak for yourself" in retort. It took me aback, as I did not expect my aunt to be met with such a hostile response, for no apparent reason. You know what my aunt did? She immediately responded in the most calm and kind voice "fair enough" and went about her business. I thought her reaction was so mature and graceful. She was a sweet woman, and there were people around her who were jealous of her blessings--blessings which she deserved. My mother was one such person who was jealous of her. May Auntie Bonnie rest in peace.
Nonsense. No such thing as an authentic person in psychology. And the word narcissist is peddled around by ignoramuses who don't even know what it means
I had an aunt Nila like that, she loved everyone especially children and did the nicest, most memorable things in our lives everyone should have an aunt Bonnie or an aunt Nila! I wish they did!
I feel like authenticity is the ultimate goal in life. I don’t think anyone is born this way, you either become super in tune with yourself and grow into your authentic self. However to be authentic you must possess emotional intelligence, which for myself is something I have gained through life experiences. I feel like narcissistic relationships bring out your authenticity when you finally start to heal. You reflect and in hindsight realize just how different you would respond to many situations now. The wisdom gained through life shapes you becoming more and more authentic each day.
I kinda agree but then not really because I think children are generally authentic, even their tantrums are an authentic expression of what they feel (so I guess, I would disagree with Dr. Ramani's definition...she probably more means 'individuated' or as close to that as one can humanly be, which children aren't in a conscious sense. This is a semantic issue so kind of irrelevant I guess). Trauma changes them, some will become narcissists, others wounded but can heal later if they do the work and become authentic again but in a grown up way, with a pattern of emotional regulation and not reacting on 'cue' due to triggers. That's what I aim for myself.
My husband with a lot of ASD characteristics is like this and deeply authentic. Watching him interact with a narcissist in our family is so interesting. He is never rude or disrespectful but all the attempts to manipulate and even love bomb my husband do not work which makes the narcissist visibly uncomfortable
Its amazing isn't it! I had narcs all my life and learning to deal with my trauma and to now having to be contempt with myself its so easy to identify a narc and throw them off their shits and then why they try to make everyone hate me they end up exposing themselves because when people know your true authenticity not everyone can make up rumors about you because your real and everyones know your heart! The same can't be said about narcs 😂
I am ASD and my narcissistic (aspd) estranged husband would try to manipulate and emotionally abuse me, and I just absolutely annihilated him with pure logic every time, he couldn’t stand it😂😄
My little daughter is also on the spectrum of ASD. She's very authentic, and only shows affection to some people. She has a level of awareness that's very clear to me and my wife. When we go out with our daughter, she will very quickly identify someone she doesn't like. I know by her display of discomfort and facial expression.
@@vitormonteiro7313 people on the spectrum truly are the most authentic humans you can meet and good judges of character. Charisma doesn’t work for them and they can see right through it into genuine intentions. It’s very cool and I aspire to be more like that!!!
I think it’s important for a narcissist to be around authentic people. I’ve had a friend in high school, she wasn’t rich, wasn’t extremely smart, but she has this “quiet confidence” that she really doesn’t bother when someone is better than her, something a narcissist can’t handle. Growing up with narcissistic mother, I always wonder how this friend of mine is extremely comfortable with herself. Then I met her family, and got all the answers lol. She grew up with such a genuine and kind family, which is probably the reason why she had a sense of self-security in such a young age.
It also happens when people grew up with narcs, they experience trauma and if they work in themselves they realise they can only control how they react not what others say or do so they just focus on themselves and preserving g their peace
I had the same experience, grew up with a complete narc family.My best friend family I just loved because they were loving and they were confident etc Kids just excelled in school
It's true that the narc doesn't like or pursue the honest transparent person. I think honesty intimidates them and inside they know they are disfunctional and they don't like that inferior feeling. So yes! They will go talk bad about you to almost everyone you know. I heard this Proverb and it went something like, when people bare false witness against honest people it's only a matter of time before honesty revels the truth....I have experienced this Proverbs without having to defend myself because true honest character will always dispel a lie!
Congratulations for moving forth with your life. Bravo to you. Remain strong and resilient as you journey to new beginnings. What's for certain and always count on. This quote. By the late Maya Angelou. "When a person shows you who they are. Believe them the first time." The simplicity as you heal in spite of the experiences. Hold truth that. Winners (YOU) never lose and losers (Narcissist) never win. It's a waste of time trying to help the narcissist save themselves from themsleves. The Narcissist live in a trap mental personality disorder. That will always be lived in a world filled with darkness and unhappiness their entire life. Believe me I known and seen many narcissistic people have no peace. Not even narcissist taking their last breath. They die with a tortured soul. God gives the narcissist an opportunity to repent from their sins. This would give the narcissist a chance to finally be free from their demons for eternity in heaven. Rather than spend eternity in the fire within a burning bottomless pit. In a place called hell.
I am a 25 year old recovering narcissist with parents who deny their narcissism, who have found a relationship with a 28 year old authentic person. Being in this relationship has opened my eyes to who deserves my time and space, and who has made me realize that I can take a different path. I can choose to not step into the footsteps of a narcissistic generation. When you said authentic people are found in elders, i can tell you from my POV, the youth are preceding as authentic, and that to me is incredible. As a person coming from a narcissistic background building myself to change as an authentic person, who chooses to be a better person and make better decisions, not just for other people, but because i want to be a better person. So i want to thank you Dr. Ramani for your personal input. I will look forward to checking out your podcast.
It’s really wild thinking about the abuse my mother put me through, and from a very young age, I was highly perceptive, and I literally would look her in the eyes and tell her “Don’t talk to me like that, it’s not okay”, or I would have these long conversation trying to show her that there’s more than one way to do things, and it might look different, but it was acceptable. She couldn’t stand me because I stood up for myself and my siblings no matter what, and I would call out in as calm, well rounded, and respectful a manner as possible the ways she was mistreating me. And, of course; as I got older, she couldn’t stand it, so she gaslit me to hell and broke me down, not unlike how the military breaks people down and remolds them during boot camp, etc. It’s taken 7 years to find myself again. But I feel Fucking alive and I’m so fucking thankful every day for that younger me who chose this current version of me over everything else.
Same here. I’m starting to think I was authentic all along but then got traumatized and couldn’t see my authenticity very clearly anymore. Now that I’ve shut every single toxic person out of my life I’m rediscovering my authenticity. The truth is a beautiful thing. It’s the stuff poems are made of. ☺️🌟
To add to your comment they also inspire and cause you to have a drive within yourself. They are a blessing to everyone around them wise enough to appreciate them.
That's a luxury not everyone has now. Some people are dealing with whole systems processing them. The poor the elderly and disabled the economically weak and young but emotionally wise that got through with health and mental health in tact. A lady in a uniform assigned to their address, could be a personality or a helper. It's a casino out there now. Mental health advice needs to be given to people to deal with npd you negotiate from orderlies, and officers, people you literally cannot walk away from. Think "one flew over the cookoos nest" Tell people how to negotiate that sort of situation doc. Before the day comes you can't
@@Beth-iv4ljThere is always a time and a place. Only an idiot thinks all lives situations are black and white. You can always be true to yourself though and being poor or suffering from mental health problems doesn't stop that. It's like you can't always speak your mind unless you want sacking if you are at work. Knowing what's appropriate helps to but some people haven't got a clue about that.
@@charlottelouise209 the people assigned to the poor to process them in various ways after the corona virus had real mental health issues. Difficult people But social status. Nobody could say anything a long time. I think they had a clue
In contrast, authentic people are more kind-hearted than to walk around with a chip, that says, "I give zero Fs (sic)" on their shoulders. An authentic person doesn't get "triggered."
@@tammyhollis1519 - no one gets "triggered." That word has a specific meaning pertaining to PTSD. A mental health crisis is triggered by an event which brings up a memory. Yes, authentic people can get upset over things. That is part of being authentic.
This authentic person has done medical research and discovered that her x-boyfriend had all the symptoms of a Narcissist and Asperger's, however the CAUSE is not intentional. These behaviors develop due to having to deal with the toxins being produced in their system. Parasites/Worms and other Amoebic parasites are rampant in these people. They live in a brain fog and their behaviors are developed to cover up their incorrectly diagnosed internal parasites. Parasites emit 5 toxins. Formaldehyde, Amphetamines, Histamines, Ammonia and Morphine. Any Authentic person getting a daily dose of these chemicals will ultimately develop some defensive behaviors. If you really want to CURE your clients then deworm them first and then help them control their parasites while helping them deal with the transition. Many like my x have lived with parasites their whole life and never knew it. My x had his appendix removed as a child(more than likely filled with worms) and had physical development /growth problems. All affected by these toxins in his system. The Main Stream Medical Community does NOT test for parasites. Some parasites live in the lymph system and not the GI tract. How these parasites get in they lymph system is still a mystery. For more information on this please watch The Universal Antidote Documentary on Rumble dot com. Here is the link rumble.com/vdey7t-the-universal-antidote.html
Out of ALL of the many, many videos I have watched in my attempts to heal from narcissist abuse, THIS was the video that I needed the most. Authenticity = Freedom. ✨ Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙏
I believe the same way; this video put the icing on the cake for me and provided the missing piece of a god-awful puzzle I've been trying to put together for over 60 years. Move over narcissistic family...authenticity coming through!
Started out as golden child, but was mean to others. Then suffered for years from neglect from friends and family. I lost all the spice from golden child years and became passive and observant, putting my feelings down in face of others. Now I'm trying to return to a peaceful, authentic life with an added gratitude and graciousness for others
I'm long done with passive... But am hopeful I'll continue passing through the "angry at bullies" part to where I can keep my cool in the future... Instead of delivering the elbow shots that those in my past deserved.
I got monkey in me, there is no passive, except under extreme stress, i submit and let higher self guide. I have strong survivor instinct due to trauma from early childhood on. Some of us get super human abilities cracked open under these types of pressures. medical says such things are disabilities. I choose to look at the up side of life.
@@johngregory4801 they’re smaller people.. the smaller you are the less moral integrity you possess. Bullies are so self absorbed that, they don’t realize how much they’re just taking giant shits wherever they go, if a bully ever actually became cognizant of why they bully people, jeesh. Good luck 🍀
does anyone else just think that dr ramani is such a beautiful soul. every new video im wowed by the aura she exudes. hopefully one day i can radiate just like that
Indifference. Any attention is better than none to narcissists - good or bad, as long as they are center stage. The squeaky wheel gets the most oil. That's why walking works - feet don't have wheels 😁
I returned an unopened Christmas hoover and now he's in the rage stage. Like a spoiled toddler. I authentically laugh because I took back the power I gave him.
@@true3980 🤣 I've gone a step further. I don't return the gifts or acknowledge they've sent them. Maintain 100% radio silence. I give them to someone random who really appreciates it. So far, a tablet & gucci perfume has gone to a very happy teenage neighbour 😂😆🤣
if you do that long enough, you'll gain a personality disorder..do that to cope for now..but work towards, being authentic, developing integrity, and (healthy) detachment from this world (including people).
@@holly3503 I feel like I do something along this. You just point out their “attacks” and say them out loud, and logically show them how weird they are being.
@@kindacoolanimation I don't think this is unhealthy. If anything, I don't think we gave enough information to determine what exactly he's doing. From the sounds of it, it seems like he's denying them their gratification for being rude.
I notice denying these kind of people their satisfaction will tend to do that especially if it's aimed at making a public spectacle to make themselves look good. The only time using their own shame against them or making it obvious to the public doesn't work is if they are already dead-set on landing some kind of hit against you where they don't care about the fallout it causes. Whatever sideways dance they do to rationalizing their actions might make them look bad. Narcs tend to be emboldened to do this more online because they can cover their tracks. Rarely have I met any narcissist who does this in person. That said, I do have a friend who has always been a bit like this. But after 20 years it's obvious his self grandiosity hasn't materialized any great life for himself. He needs me more than I need him. I'm sure he'll view it as some sort of betrayal when this apartment complex is finally either too expensive or gets condemned and I move out of this town instead of staying here next door. I got enough of my own issues to deal with.
Always step away! My late husband used to say “I want them in my heart, but not in my life” when he referred to the family members that he chose to step away from and have little contact with. Toxic narcissistic people will find a way to disturb your peace. Walk away and take control of your inner power.
That is the most balanced and loving way of describing the situation I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing your late husbands wise words. Was it his parents? I am having some guilt and troubled feelings around the mothers day/father day time.
"Mother" Teresa was a cruel, sick twisted *narcissist* who exploited the poorest of people. She did nothing to help them as she told them suffering made them closer to God.
It's both a gift and a curse to be able to spot Narcissists so quickly and easily. Props to anyone who has to deal with them on a daily basis. You're a warrior.
Or, just walk away. If possible. I am planning to move north to get away from the narc's sphere of influence. This decision empowered me. Even if I do not move away for good, it helps to think outside the box.
Well, this is what narcissists are, but to a negative degree. Authentic people are honest about their feelings but they don’t do things with an ulterior motive. They don’t try to undermine a person’s abilities for the attention or sense of self-grandeur it’ll get them or disingenuously try to flatter someone in an attempt to try and manipulate them later.
Authentic is not the opposite of narcissistic. You can be authentic but narcissistic so even if you are narcissistic you can say that you have narcissistic trait without sugarcoat it (some of them often become comedian). But there is authentic but also kind person who is one of the best person you could ever met. There is a authentic and bad person too, the character who portray that is Joker. And there's also narcissistic and delusional person who think good about themselves but actually the opposite or you could say a hypocrite.
@@peppermintgal4302 I think better description of authentic people if thier consider the oposit eof narcissists is that they a re self aware and open to criticism
"The more authentic you become, the more resistant you will be to Narcissists.....they'll definitely speak bad about you behind your back, but if you're authentic enough, you won't care!" 💞
I was recently struggling to decide if I should go to a family event, knowing it was a trap set by the N, because if I didn't I would be crucified behind my back for not going. Then I realized, they are surely talking horribly about me anyway, so why walk into their trap to "prevent" them from having more fodder? Plus, if they needed more fodder, they would just make it up anyway.
It's almost like a really cool superpower, sometimes when I am going about my job people will make cold, mean remarks towards me and it doesn't bother me anymore.. I know my worth and that I am special, authentic and a good person
Thank you, Dr. Ramani❤ Authenticity is really about self-mastery; knowing who you are, knowing your values and doing EVERYTHING in alignment with those set values and your true self!
the whole "this is the way i am, im not trying to hide it, if people dont like it thats their problem not mine," while recognising actual short comings of course
I see authenticity as the end result of emotional growth. It is being a fully emotionally mature adult. Narcissism is a form of emotional immaturity/maldevelopement. The ones who can't grow are the ones who never learnt to separate their own self from that of their primary caregiver(s), something that normally happens at around age 4. That's why they either treat others as objects or as an extension of themselves to reward or punish as they please.
A couple of years ago I had the interesting experience of having a malignant narc boss replaced by an authentic person boss. The quality of life improvement is off the charts.
HAHA yes! Weird isn't it? Like many people who are in lala land just interact with them but once they know you know, they're much darker and it's uncomfortable for both because we both know hahaha
It took me a long time but I am there too. Now just to cut that last thread of contact with my divorce. I’d rather live under a bridge than live with him anymore.
My mother is over 60 and exactly the same. BUT I’ve seen her be this way forever. She has that odd immunity. So self assured she glides right past and never gets snagged.
I actually found a comment that said "I'm coming to terms that i'm an authentic person.". As if coming to terms with your authenticity was some kind of negative thing you have to bitterly accept about yourself. :P Narcissistic humble-brag if i ever saw one. xD
I became “Aware, Authentic” after I finally learned to heal and love myself. After being in a narcissist, emotionally abusive relationship for decades a huge lightbulb went off! And I found the missing piece to the puzzle! I could see things/him so clearly. I was so dissociated , depressed, unhealthy throughout all the years. Very hard. But now I can see my healthy future. 💪🏻🙏🏻🧘🏻♀️❤
I think this is why my narcassistic boss didn't like me. He just didn't know how to handle me. He knew I played drums and he did to and he would keep trying put down my skills or boost his, but he was mediocre and I had a music degree in jazz performance, toured, recorded albums. I was so confident in my abilities in that regards that he got no reaction from it. He would also bring up random factoids to impress people but had no follow up, and me being genuinely interested in some of these subjects would start up a discussion and then he'd get mad that he couldn't just pretend to have all this knowledge and he stopped doing it in front of me. At first I didn't even get it, a coworker had to explain "it's because when he goes and learns about jellyfish he's doing it to impress people, when you do it it's because you're interested in jellyfish."
Not really, because 99 out of 100 people can't do what she's saying an authentic person does. She's not talking about maturity versus immaturity or child vs adult mentality but rather an attitude tempered by time, wisdom, accomplishments. In the end, it doesn't really matter.
@@Nick_Lamb Because 1) It's not really a necessary goal to aim for. 2) As explained in the video, it's much closer to an idealized "pinnacle of enlightenment" than an actual expected way of being. I highly doubt very many people consistently keep to the standards of being "authentic" consistently. And that's mainly because these are all traits and not a whole.
Absolutely true. They get tired of lying to someone they know is truthful. Eventually they dump-leave-get away from because they just get tired of lying to you. They know.
Authentic = words and actions are in alignment. They say what they mean, and they mean what they say. They keep to their morals and practice what they preach. The narc is incapable of authentic. They aren't sure what their moral compass is, what they believe in, what they don't; and say things that are never followed through in action. Their jealousy, internal voices in their head that are vindictive. All of which, interfere with that authenticity. Narcs. cannot accept, handle, or hear the truth about what they are more insecure about. And, I humbly agree, Dr. Ramani, authenticity means not caring what other people say or think about you. But, if confident in one's self, their ability to discern truth from fiction and hold hard in that stance; the authentic person is the ultimate goal to strive for. Fully believing in ourselves, our character, can make us stronger, and perhaps less resistant one will be toward the narc.
I agree, when actions and words match, that's authenticity. My only pain is that authenticity itself is not a shield or a protective armour. The narcissists in my life feel that I try to be as authentic as possible but they do play their stupid games, smear me or try to cause pain, etc. So unfortunately, authenticity itself is not an effective tool to perform "exorcism" and repel narcissists for good.
When a narcissist ( fool) is talking. Just walk away and say nothing. Why bother to reply to the words coming out of their mouth. What they are speaking is their ignorant trurh. About themselves. It's a lifetime subscription the narcissist hides behind their facade mask.
From my experience, NOTHING speaks louder to a narcissistic woman than watching me turn around and walk away and put them out of my life forever. I'd rather die alone than deal with that nonsense.
OMG, it’s me you were talking about😮 The last years I had to work with narcisstic persons and so I became victim of really bad gossiping. What shocked me was that even good friends took part. I took refuge in early retirement, but they followed me into my private life and many social contacts were destroyed. But, as you said, I rest within myself. I continue to pursue my passions and live my life. The whole thing took 7 years and now I still have one battle to fight: defeating my PTSD
Through the process of learning and growing over the years, I have found that authentic people are made of rich substance. A narcissist, by contrast, are only made of shadows and illusions to the things that are real. An authentic person ‘walks the walk’. A narcissist ‘talks the talk’.
When you can provide for yourself everything you thought you had to get from others, you become Teflon. They can't threaten to withhold something you already have.
6 years in, my 'authenticity' has worn thin. Leaving my job in the next few weeks. No matter how stoic and mindful one is, the sheer insanity demonstrated daily via the narcissistic shifting of blame, gaslighting and downright craziness just gets old.
So true! I had the same thing at one of my old jobs. They called the department the 'snake pit' because people stole your commissions, and they did! I saw the writing on the wall and warned those coworkers I cared about, 'once I'm gone, they will be finding a new target!' The coworkers transfered before I left. Smart! This major company is now going down the tubes. Leave, and be happy! So many other options, and good experience to discover! ♥️
This women whole heartedly saved my life, and she doesn't even know it ❤ Im so well versed in her teaching, this is what I live by. I cant thank you enough Dr Ramani.
