I was devastated when the lights came on and I knew. Took me a long time but now I feel like narcs are ridiculous and creepy. Much love to anyone going through it. It sucks for sure. The storm will end and you’ll see beautiful skies again. Hang in there ✌️
100. Take it as a life lesson. Get educated about what cluster b is. That person isn’t complete. There is a hole in them. The person you think you love does not exist.
1: Reality is that you loved a « mask» a « fiction». So in a way you never loved him. Think about that 2: He does care about the control he had over your mind, emotions. In his mind you belong to him forever. Even when he has discarded or forgotten about you. He cares over narcissistic supply you still give him « thought supply». Give him nothing. Delete the pictures. Block on the phone. Hang up if he calls’ , delete on social media, never talk about him ( except with a therapist, or online in the forum). There is nothing to gain from the narcissist
Sending you strength. I loved my ex with all my heart & it's hard to comprehend that none of the relationship was real for him. My heart goes out to you.
Someone showed me pictures of him at a party...''living the dream'' He was smiling, but I knew. He looked... miserable and lost. It's a very sad disorder when you know all their tricks and see them in display. When you think about it... They are truly lost souls... and once you know, you go, because there is nothing you can do about it. Never to come back.
Thats exactly what i felt when i decided to go complete "No Contact" with my family of origin. I didn't know anyone else nor did i know any other way. However, I was tired of being mistreated and i wanted to know why. Boom! The journey of self discovery
Fear of the unknown is often crippling - and this is what stops people. Lest they know the road ahead can be great and FREE, but if they haven't experienced it, this can be scary.
Ive been trauma bonded to so many narcissist in my life but these days I have boundaries and im not afraid to speak up now and I can go no contact because I get so unwell if I don't.
I was on my own for over 23 years as a single parent. Before that I was a military wife for 18 1/2 years. All that before I met this man with narcissistic tendencies. I have no problem being on my own..and I like my own company.
@@penibeni1085 I’m so sorry that you’re going through that. My prayers are with you and your son. You did the right thing by going no contact. Stay focused and strong. You’re in my thoughts.
It’s 1 March 2024. I discarded 8 March 2023. They leave a grip in and on your mind. I’ve even thought I don’t want to actually let go (emotionally). I’m sure he’s moved on and on and on already. Literally. They won’t deal with losing the supply they weren’t ready to let go of because that would mean facing their shame and guilt and that’s impossible for them. A covert vulnerable somatic narcissist is what I believe I was involved with. Never ever again. The grip he had is slowly being removed. I know I will be good. I’m slowly undoing the damage and the result is looking good. I now know my worth, have self love and am learning to be totally independent of any external validation. I’m good doing me and being me. 💪. Survivor to thriver is my aim.
Louise - Mine was/is also a covert, vulnerable, somatic narcissist. We were married 30 years. I was discarded January, 2023. It has been a rough climb uphill. I have never learned SO much in such a short amount of time about everything: narcissism, securing my assets, how to use power tools, electrical and plumbing, mowing the lawn, how to use propane tanks on a BBQ and camping stove, meditation, spirituality, grounding ("earthing" they sometimes call it), etc. Roofing and gardening I already had under my belt. We can do this when we THINK we can (because we have to, quite honestly). We get stronger, braver, and more at peace every single day we survive this hell they put us through. These videos help as well as the comradery of the forum. It is good to know we are not alone in this.❤
@@SuzieQH4812 absolutely. I applaud you for doing you. For being you. It’s his loss. You are the prize. There is only one you and now you are doing you. Believe me when I say I’ve deconstructed the manipulationship until I’m actually starting to bore myself with it. Maybe that’s a good thing and what’s meant to happen. It is hell but the videos make us see we aren’t alone. The narcissist is actually very predictable as they are stuck in an eternal cycle. As for us - we can heal and grow and learn from the experience. The main lesson being to never let them back into our lives again and to never get involved with another one again. I wish you all the very best for the future.
I remember 2 months in, I had spent 3 straight days with the ex. Sunday rolled around and I left her place. 5 minutes later, as I drove home, the ex called me and said IT 'Im bored." good one Joe.
My ex narcissist in her delusional mind was thinking she was going to use me for negative supply but from a distance because she’s really a coward with a hurt ego mad because I cut her off before she had a chance to discard me
Their victims are lost! Left with PTSD & traumabond. They are usually surrounded with sources of supply. Never again for me. I'd always wonder if they were a narcissistic.
To break the energetic bond took months. In the end, his energy did feel like a demonic possession. I almost went to a priest to be exorcised and I don’t consider myself spiritual at all, but that energy is so low I can’t help to compare it to something spiritually demonic.
You are so correct! I have no trouble meeting or being approached by men but I can't even imagine dating. Even if Brad Pitt asked me on a date lol. I wouldn't want to. Iv never had a tie to anyone in my 52 years. Iv managed to break away after 10 years of trauma bond because I got so sick of feeling used and abused. He wasn't phased at all and just said ok. Thank you Joe B for all your helpful videos. Your the best!
I agree with everything you stated here. For anyone involved long enough with abusers and narcs, it causes a loss of oneself. The stealing of your self-respect, self-worth and the plaguing self doubt makes it very difficult to make it on your own emotionally. The confusion, bewilderment, as well as fear and anxiety cause this terrible loss of center. I've dealt with these people over and over again from very young and they seek to break you emotionally and eventually mentally. Personally, only through righteous anger and determination and the constant processing of emotions, so as to figure them out and put them to bed has been the only way to stay no contact and remain sane.
This sounds close to the situation the narc I experienced has put himself in…. your last sentence or more really rang true…”they compounded their problems…there’s no way they can they can unfix the things they’ve undone.. “ They greedily, uncontrollably fall into their lusts as a trap of their own making without thinking then they’re far too deep into it than they’ve ever expected to be. Thanks for the vid
Must Be what he remembers, He cant see me or hear Anything about Me ~We are Stranger's out here 🥚🥚 & One of us is a Chicken ,I have Always had My own space ~ Moving on has been coming For a long time* I Feel almost like "Him" in a Sense, I have Sworn him off for Many ride's 🎡🎡🎡🎡🎡The feeling of lose would be Overwhelming ~ This Time it Still makes me feel ill 🤧 But I know this is the Last Time I will feel the Mourning* Has it made me saddened Yes 🥚 Will i Dig it Back Up ~ No , Egg's are Very Smelly when they go Bad 🤭 Never Go Backwards Again,Might Fall & Bust My Skull !! Just like Death ✨✨✨You Cant Bring Them Back 🕯️🕊️💜 Again All We Can do is Look Up ✨✨✨And Talk to the Star's that Shine o on Us 💫 Be Graceful & Keep Doing You 💖 Wash it off , Sing it Out ,I personally Windex it Away 🤫 paint your nails 💅 Be Good To Yourself and i believe Everything Will Get Easier 🕊️ P.s. Guy's Dont paint your nails 💅 😆 I Always said Birds of a feather Flock Together 🕊️🕊️ Im Not that Kinda Bird 🐔"Jive Chicken" 🐔🐓 That is !!! Thanks again To All Who read my message and Smile it Looks Good on You ~ No Silly song, No More Crying ~ Sing it until it Means Something to You ~ Not "Them" 💜🕯️
How is that I’m suffering like others n that they don’t it’s that killer knowing they ruined your life Scott free n yes I want more revenge than the average person for what he took is deadly to me now n every day im paralyzed with severe anger grief crying to know he was a fraud n i knew it n still went ahead n now i hate me
Im curious what’s ya take on you moving on faster than they expect and if it’s true they really treat that new person they with like shit because they can’t get to you anymore or is that not true and they just are depressed they lost you and that’s it
They first test your waters to see if they can peak your interest again. If not they lose your supply and their needs r not met so good, so they might try harder or they try to find more supply elsewhere. They try to fill the void somehow either with u or someone else, really depends on what they see as attainable
What's considered early? So after 5 or 6 months, that's it because they found their soulmate? 😅😅😅😅😅This is a guessing game. The narc said this new supply is not a trauma bond.
I wish my son would listen to these videos. Since I'm healing from a narc & have learned so much about them, I can see the position hes in. Shes a total narc!!! Hes codependent. She rules the roost. Shes gotten so fat & so domineering, its disgusting. She dont deal with me at all. She knows i can see right thru her. I wish he'd learn & heal. I hate to see him so miserable all the time
