When the Narcissist Really Realises They Have Lost You 

I imagine the narcissist would just replace "the toaster", like any other appliance.

When I left the narcissist a couple of weeks ago he had legions of good Christian women to feel sorry for him and another woman already groomed, who probably succumbed to his pity play too. He's probably playing happy families with her right now. I feel sorry for her - she hasn't the faintest idea what she's got herself into. Myself, I've got my peace of mind back.

The "crying" is the sounds of their demon showing its face. That sounded genuinely evil.

No they don’t react with insight. They put a strategy in place to devalue you in the eyes of possible mutual friends. Been there. Survived that.

I went no contact with my narc sibling 12 years ago. It took me 50 years to realise that she didn’t just have depression or jealousy over me but when she unjustly turned on my daughter, it hit me that she was a narc & that I had to cut ties. I never spoke to her again but did get a barrage of evil messages for years which I never responded to. My life is much more peaceful & calmer now without her dramas draining me to the core. I still feel sad that I lost my sister but putting things into perspective help me to be grateful that I dodged a bullet.

My ex started to stalk me plotting revenge because she was embarrassed that I didn’t chase the garbage truck down and beg for my trash back!

I can't believe that disgusging fit of rage would move anyone. If anything, it's repulsive.

I really don’t miss the everlasting boring monologues 🤣🤣🤣

Door Slammed, Lock, Bolt and Welded 😂

They don't give a single fuck

I never thought my ex narc would be devastated. I knew his hoovers mixed with love bombs along with over 1900 blocked messages were a performance. He had others on the backburner waiting to be promoted. I knew he was trying to "shelf" me, as you would call it. So I ignored him knowing once I was out of sight, I was also out of his mind.

That sounds a lot like the fake screaming cry I was use to hearing. Manipulative fake behavior

The narc doesn’t cry, they plot. Their minds start working the angles they are going to use to manipulate us to get us back! The screaming cry mixed with narc rage on this video is ridiculous

Angry crying, that's not hurt. Yes, very recognisable.

I like to think when you dump their sorry arses, they get angry at all the wasted time and energy they have wasted on their perception of having tried and failed to groom you. Maybe giving them that much credit is too optimistic on their low scale emotional intelligence, but always makes me smile

No healthy minded person records their "grief" to send to someone for any reason what so ever. That alone makes this manipulation obvious. That screaming sounds like a tantruming toddler who doesn't get ice cream for not eating their dinner. It's absolutely pathetic and revolting.

I know that is precisely the way he rationalised the walk out, no contact. I’m the baddy that’s caused him irreparable damage. 😂

That's rage. I doubt a blink of an eye occurred on the other side.

I just realized… I was brought up by a narc! My grandmother. Telling my 23 years old mother she’s not able to raise a child, sending her back to work, to bring me up as … well, she lost my father to my mother (in her thinking). She cried crocodile tears (I learned when already a teenager), pressured me with suicide ‚Im going to jump of the next bridge‘ or I’m throwing myself under a truck‘ (I was 5, 6, 7 years then). She told me mean things so that I shouldn’t get close to my mother. When I told my mum, granny slapped me, she said I’d lie! Gosh! Things to learn decades too late…

Nope, they don’t care, they had never loved you anyway.

If you hadn't said that was an adult person fake crying I honestly would have mistook the sound clip as a baby wailing.

Too me it sounded like the Narcissist raging.

Dear HG. I love how you mock my magical, emotional thinking. As a true friend, you help me laugh at myself, cry the stars out of my eyes, stiffen my spine and move forward more rationally. Thank you.

My 'partner' narc sends me to Coventry every six months. I just sit it out for a week or so until he starts to asks for food and money for Scotch, milk, coffee ++++. This time he gets nothing. He point blank refuses to find a job. He pays no rent or bills. He has lived in my house for 7 years. I'm old >> 72 and infirm. It's scary but mentally strong. I've gone through these Coventry sages 15 times. I'm getting sick and tired of him now. I wish he would go and leave my house for good. I'm gonna push him out now.

Yes, just sorry for themselves. They move on yesterday as if you NEVER even existed! But move on to what is the question. To a distant past life, to a work colleague, who knows and who cares. Total A-holes through and through

It gets vindictive and hateful and o hurt whomever they lose

It sounds like the scream from the movie Lord of the Rings, when Gollum screams because he lost the ring. And Frodo, with his compassion and his free heart, learned to see Gollum as a creature worthy of forgiveness, for, he observed the power that the ring had on the people who possessed it, he learned that he too could become a Gollum. And here I use this example for us, who seek labels to title people, thus taking away their humanity, who learn once and for all to forgive our parents and the way in which they abused our form of emotional attachment. Let us learn once and for all to forgive our ancestors for their abusive and selfish way of teaching us about love, dignity and respect. Because the root of the problem with this individual with narcissism will not get rid of when you label him "narcissist", but rather when we learn to understand what led us to become attached to this individual and why we continue to accept for this person to treat us this way. Permission is not in the act of just saying "yes" to the individual, the permission also lies in the persistence of "trying one more time", opening spaces for the individual to learn more about our weaknesses and torment us with psychological abuse and or even physical. Learning to let go and learning to forgive the individual and yourself is the most important step of the journey.. and to learn to return the ring to the larva mountain, where this damned attachment will once and for all free you from this attachment

That soundsa a rage-filled two year old tantrum performed with adult sized lungs. Two year old behaviour. It amuses me that someone thought that would cause you to feel sorry for them! Hard fail!

I am thrilled i chose correctly. As i surmised, the answer is NO, bc of exactly what you said. We're like a dog run away, waiting to be caught or return home on their own...and remember, discards only happen when an optimal new fuel source has been lined up and locked on. Narcissists live the concept of A.B.C.= Always Be Closing.

HG please do a video about how the narcissist would handle and process tragedies like 9/11

I found out from my sisters friend that he had a tinder profile. I was blindsided by this. Waited a few days then went to his place with a HUGE suitcase and took all my belongings and took my power back. When he opened the door it looked like he saw a ghost, his eyes were black !!! (His real eye colour is blue) he told me right away that he wasn’t with anyone and I replied I didn’t ask. I told him to give me the keys he had to my home. I was calm, didn’t yell, showed him the screenshots I got from my sister’s friend’s profile pictures on tinder. He actually wanted to start an argument and I didn’t fall for it and it’s not in my nature to yell. He tried to hug me many times and I backed away. Unfortunately he is my brother in law’s best friend and nephew’s godfather so he is in my orbit. My sister tells me he says to her how happy he is but she sees right through it, he is very inauthentic. She told me she is a total downgrade and not his type, chubby, wears tons of makeup and dresses like a granny. She cooks and cleans for him, I guess he wants a mom to take care of him and his son is very disrespectful towards her. It’s been 2 years and it still bothers me and I avoid seeing him.

😂 my ex narcissist has no doubt bought a $200 bottle of whiskey pack of smokes and looking at himself in the mirror kissing his own image

OMG! They were trying to get YOU to feel sorry for that screamer?!? 😂😂 does not she know what you are??

3:05 When my narc did that, " I said, you obviously not very happy today?" 😂😂😂😂

Lol. My dad rang my husband at work. I had gone no contact for 3 months. He told my husband the problem is that I have bad genes. He also told my husband that he would ' have nothing to do with her children unless she calls back by tomorrow'. Yes they are my husbands kids too 😂

Sounds like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

H.G lol 😂. Listening to that cry was so hilarious 🤣

I figured that after eight months of trying to get me to answer his calls or acknowledge his anonymous flowers, and never ONCE knocking on my parents' door to ask for me (I had been staying with my parents between homes when he dated me), he finally went on and found a new woman to run down and demoralize. 🙄

Mr H.G.Tudor, Long time since I've spoken, after getting up off the floor and asking for the keys back. The creature went to someone who gave him time and an ear. Many a morning in that month, the car sat out the front on the street, bipping his horn, no contact no staying and no going back, I'll always remember, His last word's, Life has gone very well over the last 24 years. 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

So true. I understand this completely. This is why I left and don't even allow mysellf to even think about this person. I escaped completely and it's so satisfying ❤

I don’t think it matters to them at all HG I think they just go out and start with the next one that’s part of their game isn’t it? They just pick up the toys and go on!

Yup! I knew exactly what was coming after this title!! Been listening to HG for a while. It’s funny to hear him say it … cause we’ve all been there, thinking (hoping) that our narcissistic ex is suffering without us. The truth is … they are not. They’ve moved on! I like to listen to these videos cause it helps “chase away” those thoughts (based on emotional thinking) that creep in from time to time. It’s like emotional boot 🥾 camp 😂

Oh dear the screaming 😱 yes it sounded manufactured. Not that I’m an expert. Just by listening to your videos over time I recognise the narcissist just gets on with finding their next victim. So even I have learnt something from your work, thx HG s💕

A narcissist could care less about what you think about them once they realize that you know the truth about them they decide that they don't want anything more to do with you or they Hass you and call you saying how much they miss you but when you hear some sense that a real friend says to you that this so called friend was just using you for your money and then for your stuff from your storage unit that they wanted from you then you realize that this friend is making sense and you must decide to change your phone number so that this Unscrupulous person can no longer call you again! And so you must make the right decision for you and your sanity and well being in this disfunctional kind of relationship that you don't need or want anymore! Freedom and peace is what you want! As for the narcissist and other narcissists that raised him they will go to the next poor victim and supply that they will fool and use!

Cheers. Your legacy of truth and sarcasm towards people is exquisite.

I remember the “grief” performances…the wailing and crying…they were so cringy. He was so loud and would accuse me to “destroying the family.”

She screamed n rage "lord god mi life done"😭😄

Thank you for this just what I needed to hear. I always worried I wasn’t a good daughter I worried I had let my father down . Why when I lost my way at a young age . Why was this happening. It was because I could never please him as long as I had a mind of my own. 😢

It’s more about how they will look to people who they thought actually believed the happy relationship between.s and now they don’t know who knows what and it’s about damage to reputation control

“Listens to their monologues “…so eloquently put, years of ‘woe is me’ stories actually self inflicted consequences..

HG is the only one who mentions the monologues! I know my mental energy was hijacked by the monologues and sometimes I had to leave the room because I couldn’t handle them anymore and God knows I spent hours trying to empathize with them agreeing how they were not autistic but really just more brilliant than the norm. I really think rare people can have that type of patience or anticipation / adaptation skills unless they went thru it with a self absorbed abusive parent before. But this is talent, to be able to handle their monologue for lengthy periods of time.

Brilliant! I love your explanation of supposedly emotional reactions being “performative” and that the narcissist would never cry alone because it would serve no purpose. This is an astute observation. I have seen so many crocodile tears that I cannot help but think you are right.

That is a relief, thank F for that

The minute they know they have lost you, they begin their smear campaign, calling your family and friends, telling them how good they were and how terrible life was with you❤😂

Hello HG❤

The happiest years of my life have been those after I went “grey rock” on my narcissistic relative. Thanks, HG! 🙏🙏🙏🎉🎉🎉

They don’t care. They continue to devalue and destroy their victims through gossip, slander, abuse and then they move onto their next victim.

That scream sounds similar to the clips I heard from women on Tik Tok upset that men don’t pay attention to them.

Yep I had recorded their screaming wake fake cry, she was guilty of something, and she had to find something to deflect, and this horrible screaming over the phone.

You mean through death right? I assume a narcissist's fury would be ignited from the wounding due to the permanent loss of an appliance that's entirely beyond his/her control. That's my hypothesis. 🕳️💀

I'm sure some of them may cry like that. However, normal people definitely do wail like that with grief, even if they haven't experienced nearly that kind of a loss. Normal people may end up weeping buckets alone.

Nope they first try to guilt you then go on to any supply they can glom onto

I can’t believe anyone would be so stupid as to attempt to move HG with a pity play. I mean, really. And that level of childish temper tantrum. They are clearly not playing at his level.

That Cry was MM falling to the Floor exactly at the same time Aitch walks in ........"do'h My Love whats happened ?"😂

Thank you! 👏🏻❤️

You haven't lost me, I'm behind your back as usual, my hero. Why did you enter this tunnel, I'm not sure there's an exit that way? You don't like easy things, do you?

It is difficult to understand the thinking of a narcissist when one is not one. The concept of being fuel amd an object (toaster) does not compute with the empath. Only a narcissist can understand the thinking and behaviour of a narcissist.

I saw this too. She broke down and actually cried when I broke it off after she cheated on me……but when I got home, I found some of the nasty text messages ever, and where she actually had the audacity to call me an empathic narcissist. Then raved about her supposed new number one supply. It was all my fault. 2 months now no contact. I hope that she is doing well. Bye.

that shriek was oddly satisfying..

There will be no emotional reaction, just attempts to draw fuel from others by victim posturing, and starting the search for a new IPPS

Hearing that wailing was very hard to hear as Ive been there many times😢Hit the core of my being.

Нарцисс не скорбит, он в ярости .,.

Over 5 years and I still get random people in town tell me that they currently say similar things as you did here, just to provoke the response in a form of a pity play from that particular person. This hasn’t changed, they believe they are the victim. I’ve been hoovered. But, it’s all about the perception/public appearance and they are always the victim and I the perpetrator 🤦‍♀️

I want to know when the narcissist is the daughter, and I have gone no contact for almost 3 years now. I do not miss her, but I do miss my grandchildren immensely so it’s tough.!

Damn good video.

Chilling, to hear the narcissist's side of this story

Dirty Dog Biscuits has lost everyone due to her disgusting behavior towards others.

I had heard the narcissist in my life was interested in someone else already, and I thank God i will finally be free, lol❤

The recording sounded more like a rage fit, sounding so much like a small child having a tantrum.

She just left few weeks ago..16 years out the window.we have a 6 year old. Autism child.shes back in the community with her new supply..

I call BS bc before Ik wht it was a know a female who balled up for three days crying when her favorite married supply broke up with her. She had several other married men in the background but she collapsed over him!!!

Please do a video on borderline - narcissist relationships

I am the worst villain that ever villed, don't you know. The reason for all his hurts, the ones before I met him, and the ones after. Like magic. Villain magic. His development arrested around age 6, and he gets the most fuel from sympathy by being an eternal victim. He will find a way to be a victim. A big empty hole, covered by an awful mask, that will never be filled no matter how much 'love' is given, how much word salad waded through, and how ever many times you reset. Tears, big, fake, sulking in a corner, staged tears to nullify anything that looks close to responsibility. Or screaming, usually as publicly as possible because: attention. Endless cheating. Total denial. Passable as trauma from mid teens to age 35ish, but after 50, rinse and repeat a few times: its a modus operandi.

Mine went deeper into alcoholism . . . Alone . . .

As I broke up by text immidiatley after his attempt to gaslight me he didn't have the opportunity to cry in front of me but he texted me how he would cry and was living of vodka only for weeks to make sure I feel sorry for him or be concerned. I didn't 🎉.

It was close, but I think they didn't have me. I could have been consumed like a sausage, and the casing flipped to the floor. 🍸

HG Tudor, could you do a video on ghosting??

I broke up with my ex 3 years ago and haven't said boo since; however, he still texts, has called from his moms phone, and fb me when my number changed. During a fb conversation with my friend, his acquaintance and him last year he brought me up saying how I was stalking and having my friends do so too lol. What would explain this bahviour? Seeking revenge, supply, obsessed. Etc.

They see is as an attack

What happens is deflation. The false self is punctured. But missing in the more normal sense, mostly not. That would require normality, something narcissists just don't have.

If they don’t care, what is a narcissist injury?

Where did you get that recording of me crying?

Washed his socks? I darned his damned socks in our early married years because his mommy did and I was supposed to as well. He bought me a sewing machine so I could make all of our clothes to save money. How did it take me so long to understand he actually was a narcissist.

Saw a stereotypical portrayal of a narcicisst in a series. Everybody kept telling him: "You only love yourself, you are incapable of love, the world doesn't revolve around you." The guy even beats his chest and yells out,"The world *does* revolve around me," whilst beating up a few bystanders, for good luck.. However, it was when a mafia boss is musing to his young protégé (on the internal struggle he is having over having to kill his cheating girlfriend) he bemoans: " They always betray me in the end," says how he "likes movies because he is "the main character," and how he "tried talking to my heart, but it was silent".. Well, he may be the real narcissist.

Hmmm…. Kindly explain this occurrence as relayed to me: “The day J (my son) dropped of the Ute, Narcissist studied those video tapes for at least 2 hours. Obsessing over them and you waiting on the road to take J with you. He was so mad he cried like a baby.”

Omg someone sent you that!! 🤣🤣🤣😅😅😅

No that scream sounded like someone who thinks their other half is dead... while missing... at around about the 5th week mark. With the feeling of being unable to do anything. This can be exhibited in an individual that is absolutely tortured. The narcistic people I have know analyse every detail of why a person reacts the way they do... never have I heard one scream like that unless motivated to do so with unnecessary mental abuse... or traumatic shock. Which can kill... do you have any idea what Cortisol does to a brain and body through traumatic shock? I hope you consoled this person or the damage you can do to that person could be permanent. They obviously need a hell of a lot of help. Darn... That was horrible to hear. Narcissists usually blow out on drugs, get drunk, sleep around, go on holiday... and generally does not give a rats backside about anyone around them. As long as they themselves are okay still able to be the highlight of attention... maybe creating TikTok videos showing themselves having a jolly good time. Just my observations... and experience. That person screaming like that was me... the situation was missing... 5-weeks okay food, water, where is? With a head burning having not been able to sleep, eat or think, rationalise, socialise, work, talk, stop shaking, throwing up, for the 5th week. That person when they eventually turned up 12-seeks later - was the most evil, sinister, deceptive, insane human I have ever had the displeasure if knowing - completely the sat4nic clone of who I knew... and has since needed a LOT of mental support - it is what you get l8cked d0wn in a country 8000-miles away from home for 3-years... And if I could scream at someone now like that? Oh of course Brandon and his WEFingWHOtheCDCdotheyWEFingThinkTheyAre buddies and Co can line up! ❤ A little something I needed to get off my chest there HG... I wish you well sir. 🕊🌹

Haha! I remember.

No that's the sound of the person they abused when they keep playing with them.

Good info. Glad I said goodbye when he was in a nursing home and the P…k died by himself. Im sure he was looking forward to my big tears. 38 yrs of his games. If he cared or not, Frankly Charlotte I did not give a dam. PS: we had a business and I would never allow him to screw me out of my half. The only reason I stayed on. So don’t ask why I stayed!!