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When they Smother You with 'Love' It's a Red Flag

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You waited until FINALLY someone loved you... but why do you do when their emotions are so strong they insist on instant romance and constant togetherness? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who thought she found her dream man, but now needs a way to get out of his grasp.
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5 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 215

@katlaw3503 Год назад

Update: Thank you for reading my letter Anna 🧚🏼‍♀️ I broke up with this man in May and I’ve been doing ACA work with my sponsor since. I found a new therapist who’s helping me process some of the trauma I went through in the past year and a half with him. I know codependency is my biggest issue even after years of working on it. You are so right about me backsliding while dating him. I’m too old to go through something like that again so I’m going to do the work. I appreciate you so much and it was helpful to have you read my letter and give me your Crappy Childhood Fairy critique. Thank you for all the help you have offered me and so many (and I will do your dating course again BY MYSELF) ❤

@katlaw3503 Год назад

And you were so insightful Anna 🧚🏼‍♀️ about me being at a low point with dealing with my mom. He sings, my mom loved him and it gave me a mental reprieve when he visited with me. It was hard for me to take that away from her but I did and I’m moving forward without him ❤️‍🩹

@nicolaseinhorn4540 Год назад

Okay, you are probably in the eye of the storm right now ! We are with you ! Keep hopes high, you deserve an amazing loving, compassionate and caring relationship. You deserve to feel healthy, calm and happy and to share it with healthy and lovely poeple. Protect yourself. Take good care ! I can say that you are very brave, because you need bravery to do the work you do and to have left him. Keep courage up you need it as a friend. Loyalty to yourself. First and formost, recognize yourself for the amazing process you have started. It is always time to feel better. Lots of love !!!! Tons of gooood vibes !

@katlaw3503 Год назад

@@nicolaseinhorn4540 thank you so much ❣️

@auroraborealis13579 Год назад

ACA IS A GODSEND!

@nicolaseinhorn4540 Год назад

My pleasure ! Have a good one !

@Vashti0825 Год назад

My first thought was RUN! I've just managed to get out of a 13 year marriage filled with codependency and caretaking. No more mothering for anyone. My life was consumed with him. He imploded every time I expressed unhappiness. Passive aggressive behavior is so manipulative.

@elizabethanacleto232 Год назад

Are you in Toronto by any chance?

@Vashti0825 Год назад

@@elizabethanacleto232 Nope.. I'm down in San Diego, California.

@elizabethanacleto232 Год назад

@@Vashti0825 ah, for a second I thought I knew your ex 🤭

@MsSimpleMovies Год назад

My husband is like this. Disorganized attachment. I just detached from him, and it’s an empty relationship, but it’s peaceful. We’re good at being co-parents. I’m not looking to start again, just to find inspiration and joy elsewhere.

@sunnydaye5942 Год назад

Run for the nearest exit. He's never going to change. Work on you. Do not date on line, its a cesspool.

@ViagensGringa Год назад

THIS Is pure medicine!!!! “He needs to change, but you need to change wanting to be in relationships like this”😮

@BlueskyDenver Год назад

I can say it is good to have magic and romance however it is unhealthy and delusional to think everything is going to be rainbows and sunshine all the time.! It is not reality. You will have arguments, misunderstandings, and at times very difficult times..! If the person is committed to work on themselves and do their best that’s great but you cannot be the reason for why they work on themselves. Over time they might be resentful of you and say they did it for you..! So in general a person has to be doing the work when they are 110% ready and willing

@Thestarrwashington Год назад

Men with no friends is always a red flag for me.

@Onatakosha Год назад

I don’t necessarily agree but I also don’t disagree. I think it needs more than that. Relationships as we age is less for men. Than women. Women have their girl groups that they grow with but a lot of men lose friend groups as they age.

@silentfriend369 Год назад

You know... Turns out that sometimes people with untreated issues fall in love. And loving someone absolutely triggers our issues right out of us. Self awareness and accountability really is all we need to have a healthy relationship, because it allows us to reflect and grow/heal. Every day is 🪄 magic, because it's a choice of perspective. Whether in a relationship or single, we can always find opportunities to reflect, grow, heal. That is magic.

@moniqueirizarry7547 Год назад

What a beautiful interpretation and response.

@sohara.... Год назад

_"Self-awareness and accountability really is all we need to have a healthy relationship ...."_ Great idea. Or wisdom. Byron Katie says something like _you only need one person to have a great relationship (yourself)_ with another person. That we can question our beliefs about another & turn them around. Judge your neighbour is an exercise she has fsshioned where you write down every single belief about another, no matter how petty, self-righteous or judgmental(!) - question its effect on us, look at it at a distance (how do I feel when I don't believe the thought) ... and then turn it around. You don't have to take on any new beliefs, just look at ones that hurt you & see the effects .... There's a few videos on RU-vid about it. That's a two-sided coin though, in my experience: when we've had crappy childhoods & then bullying one way or another as an adult. I found it helpful, though, to avoid wrecking my own head. I'm not doing it at moment. It does work though .

@jiujuntang1762 Год назад

I've been in a similar situation and had similar thinking as this woman. I thought I couldn't take the consequence of breaking up. I couldn't envision a future without him because I wrongfully believed that I couldn't be happy without him. "Duh of course some healing would do him good." He felt unloved and broke up with me. I was surprised by how much lighter and happier I felt instead of collapsing into a sobbing mess. And then the journey of self acceptance began but that's another story.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy

@sohara.... Год назад

_He felt unloved and broke up with me._ And there was the miracle 🥰.

@lorileifer613 Год назад

“You can’t bargain with reality”

@jerrodlopes186 Год назад

Straight to the point. This is two sick people trying to make a healthy relationship. Shari/Sheri/Sherry...dear, forget romantic relationships. Work on yourself. Get on your knees and talk to God right now. You have your mom to deal with, etc. Find friends. Get into a support group. You're far from done with the effects of your prior marriage. You will only find relationships where you are abused or you become the abuser until you get really straightened out. I mean this with empathy.

@katlaw3503 Год назад

❤

@irisrose4732 Год назад

RUN GIRL, NOW! If you have to stay single for the rest of your life, then so be it. Grow spiritually and from within you will heal. All the best to you.

@angieoh2 Год назад

Such a good share and as always very insightful feedback. After a tough breakup, I had sort of an epiphany that Anna said - the things you want(ed) from your partner are what you need for yourself. ❤❤

@trishknight6983 Год назад

Does anyone else have an awful time making decisions?

@marylangner6994 Год назад

Diagnosed narcissist? They are a lot of fun until they aren't! Run away. No contact! They are the worst and that is an understatement!

@toyahbetheglory2140 Год назад

🚩Threatening to hurt themself if you leave is manipulating behavior. It doesn't matter the cause, that is what it is. Given the childhood background given for the man, it sounds like borderline personality disorder is a possibility. It seems like he latched onto the letter writer as his "special person" almost instantly. The fact that one has to guess instead of having figured out what the issues he has are, shows he isn't doing enough of the work to help himself yet, to have a known issue to work on. Which is tragic and also like a drug to codependent prone people. Hopefully she will detach in a kind and loving manner and focus on getting better herself. Feeling resentment is one of the major signs something is majorly wrong. Focusing on another person instead of oneself is the biggest procrastination tactic so many of us have used, it keeps us stuck crap fitting. May they both be able to prioritize their own wellbeing and gain healing 🙏

@latitude1904 Год назад

Anna, you do a masterful job at providing hurt folk a voice and direction

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thank you. That's very kind of you.

@connie10000 Год назад

Amen

@teknophyle1 Год назад

both sides of that one hit kinda hard. TBH both sides of this seem to be what is "normal" in Utah. co-dependency, manipulation, love bombing, fixing other people or expecting them to change. Sometimes I almost think I need to go beyond CPTSD recovery and get the full "re-parent myself to be a normal person" course

@katlaw3503 Год назад

ACA recovery work is helpful with that

@sohara.... Год назад

Unconditional love has worked for me in the past! From a therapist when I was very young - comparatively speaking! May we all have magical (or miraculous) spontaneous or (instantaneou) healing!

@elzaocean Год назад

I love how you said that our desire to help pushes us to codependency 🙏🏼 That is something I needed to hear right now

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Glad this video spoke to you, Thanks for watching. Jack@teamfairy

@usurpxsynapse Год назад

Me too!

@venomousbluefrog Год назад

If he's not seeking this stuff out for himself, it's not going to stick.

@marilynking527 Год назад

“The red flag 🚩 is you”😂😂😂😂 I’m sorry but that was hilarious. But I’ve been a red flag myself before! 😩😩

@auroraborealis13579 Год назад

Same! I’m sure we all have!

@pmatcha Год назад

It sounds so bad but it's true: if you're trying to figure out ways to fix them and you're seeing only potential or a fantasy, that is a red flag you're hoisting up. Time to put it down, even if that means going it alone. I watched this video from the POV of the cptsd man because in my last dating situation, I believe my own milder cptsd sabotaged the whole thing, and I didn't even know how to date or what I should be doing. Long story short, I know now, and I don't think I'm ready to date.

@lamareneahjordan8660 Год назад

Same 🙃

@billie6814 Год назад

I learnt a LOT from this writer, I'm totally grateful. Not judging her.

@nwandoe3599 Год назад

@@billie6814 well, she was quoting what Anna said around the 9:30 mark. But yeah, out of context and with no quotation marks, it seemed like Marilyn was mocking the writer, but she wasn't :D

@asit1 Год назад

At 6:45 I’m like, looks like classical borderline personality !

@Jenandr48 Год назад

That was my guess too, but just armchair psychology!

@katlaw3503 Год назад

His therapist suggested that too 😢

@haltersweb Год назад

Also sounds like vulnerable narcissism.

@omeirai Год назад

I think there's a nuanced view to have here on the fact that sometimes there's a good, non-codependent side to wanting to help people we cross paths with to get better, just because we... care for other people you know, especially if we went through unpleasant stuff ourselves and developed the tools to get out. But there's a limit to it, and it's about being realistic and honest to ourselves and listening to how we really feel about the situation!

@avanellehansen4525 Год назад

And also how THEY feel about ut. Did they ask for help?

@melitapavlinic7302 Год назад

I also wanted to add more to my last comment, I have dated two guys for a few months longer than I should have before they broke up with me and they were both narcissistic. I read you in a book from Dr. Phil you should consider the first 3 months of a relationship as a probation period and not commit right away. Usually the red flags pop up in the first month or two (lying, unrealistic demands and expectations, sulking) and if you see any of that you need to run for your life, no matter how infatuated you are and how good your connection and the rest of the relationship feels like

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@katlaw3503 Год назад

Good rule of thumb! I need to adhere to that

@Linda-bj3bb Год назад

This matches my situation with my ex to a "T". Even the relationship this guy had with his mother. I wanted to ask what the guys name is to check if it wasn't my ex. I miss my ex's love bombing, because it's so addictive. To feel loved is so amazing even when it's toxic. Especially when you haven't had someone in your life for a long time and after the loss of a much loved family member. One can be so vulnerable.

@gabriella8797 Год назад

It took me about 6 weeks to get out of something similar. I mean I ran away quickly. I wondered why it took me so long as the red flags were there on the first date. I realised it was me also not having strong enough boundaries in the first place .

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy

@lisabeth61lk Год назад

I had someone buy me a wedding dress on our 2nd date...yup..nope

@katlaw3503 Год назад

Wow 😮 You know what I’m talking about

@avanellehansen4525 Год назад

YIKES!

@mfcmxtt6490 Год назад

Meeting a great guy, is as much about the ones you immediately side step and say no to..that 'aint it'.. Like, if you want to buy a great home in the countryside and then you get shown an apartment with a view of just a tree ..you trust the process and say no to the place with the tree..even though a tree has value and its a place to live..its not what you want. So you kindly say thanks but no thanks. Its NOT a place in the countryside. Denying the place is the 'countryside and making do is more self neglect, is the little child accepting and rationalising crumbs..poor darling inner child being subjected to more 'crap fitting'. In childhood, the crappy parents are the crap fit.. As we get older, we become the crapfitter if we carry their lacks as a fractured sense of our self worth. You no longer have to make do or crap fit and that is Soooo EXCITING❤ You are the grown woman that gets to say 'i love you but I LOVE ME MORE!!' and self advocate to get your precious arse on outta there!! Good news is that even though you are empathic and feel for him...you arent there to be his social worker, you arent a renovater and he isnt a doer-upperer and he isnt a house in the countryside. Next bus out is NOW. he has all the support at his fingertips to soothe any cptsd ..you arent his free therapy or pool floaty.. Love him but LOVE YOU MORE. To self advocate is to heal your inner child that always needed a better mum & dad, by now being that for yourself and getting you the hell on outta crap fitted town. Burn rubber down the drive and never look back ❤😎🤩

@theshunnedBandersnatch Год назад

This makes so much sense!! Thank you for making that comparison 👏🏾💙

@pizzakrydder2515 Год назад

I love this comment 😊

@stacyjaye6350 Год назад

Truth 💣

@katlaw3503 Год назад

@mfc mxtt Thank you for the analogy and encouraging words. I DID burn rubber and now getting back to my ACA work. Blessings to you 🌿

@moniquemichelle7295 Год назад

Trauma driven beliefs that there are no good people out there at 8:11. So true, CCF!

@michellel8966 Год назад

“The miracle”, that’s the perfect term for what we’re all looking for, LOL! Thank you for your honesty. I wish both of these people the best. May we all find our miracle. ❤

@katlaw3503 Год назад

@MichelleL thank you ❣️

@noonereally4798 Год назад

I think “co-dependence” or whatever silly made up names we have for basic female mother instinct we have these days, is just the basic female nature to want to help children, but people need to realize fully grown uo men aren’t kids, it’s not your job to help them like a mom, they’re adults, if they want help they can go get it themselves, and they’d already be working on it, them going to whatever program is just to make you happy so you don’t leave.

@olwynbowden5193 Год назад

Oh Cherie, You are such a wonderful and kind person but this relationship is costing you too much. Thank you for writing in. This has helped me a lot

@katlaw3503 Год назад

I’m glad it helped you in some way ❤

@RoadRunnergarage8570 Год назад

Frankly I'm quite content being alone,having friends within my hobby and taking pride in the models I build ....It kinda fills the void if you know what I mean...

@bluntweirdo Год назад

yes because icu is a place to find new love.

@katlaw3503 Год назад

Right!! 😂 I was in disbelief

@femr1314 3 месяца назад

I literally fell out of my chair

@darkamerika Год назад

While I cannot diagnose the boyfriend without seeing him face-to-face, the description of his behavior gives me suspicion of a severe personality disorder with at least narcissistic and borderline features. The bottom line is he is unfortunately not going to get better without many years of therapy, and even with that he's not likely to change significantly. In other words, he's a walking, breathing red flag. Best for her to break it off right away. If he threatens self harm, that should be left to emergency services to deal with, i.e. call 911 and tell them his location. Good luck.

@katlaw3503 Год назад

@fallwatcher thank you for your input

@cosimavonliebenau8317 Год назад

Goodness Anna, you’re so smart. Your emotional intelligence is awesome.

@prappypat Год назад

When the first 30 seconds slaps you in the face.

@kathyingram3061 Год назад

~He sounds exactly like my ex, who broke my heart when i couldnt be a perfect 'supply' for his narc needs~I fell for him right away, too~And i loved being love bombed!~I know i cant be with him, but i was so happy during those years....♡ ~Edit: after listening to the whole video, i remember how impossibly 'demanding' my ex was, just like the guy in this letter, and how i do not want that again, even if he were to 'let me be his narc supply' again....ha ha~☆~

@Jeb9221 Год назад

That guy sounds a lot like the past me... I went through 10 years of therapy before discovering this channel, and, another one called PDS. I always thought I might have Borderline Personality Disorder... Though I've never been officially diagnosed. I do have dysthymia (they call it persistent depressive disorder, aka PDD, these days). I'm no longer clingy and I don't love bomb anymore but I'm not fully healed yet. I don't have any close relationships. I would like to have a few close friends that I can call family, but, I'm ashamed to say that I don't know how to establish and maintain close relationships. I feel like I have some kind of emotional disability borne out of my childhood trauma and am really afraid of growing old alone.

@TeamCat1128 Год назад

Really enjoyed this video. Best of luck to Sherry. Co-dependence is difficult to break because it feels like you’re doing something good, at the time.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

thank your for supporting our letter writer. Jack@teamfairy

@michelecraig9658 Год назад

Sounds like the way stalking cases start. He is already stalking her, acting demanding and clingy.

@katlaw3503 Год назад

I was concerned about that too but he has not

@stillpril8942 Год назад

Maybe I have watched too many movies but this situation sounds kind if scary

@RoadRunnergarage8570 Год назад

Better of alone than being in a bad relationship I always say....

@Beah837 Год назад

He seems like he has covert narcissism or borderline

@EllenRipley42 Год назад

I had the same feeling. Sounds like covert/vulnerable narcissist.

@MsSimpleMovies Год назад

Disorganized attachment. It’s exhausting. Like this smart lady who updated she broke up with him, just cut your losses unless you have children (you’ll need a different strategy.) This person doesn’t even SEE you. He sees the protection and the threat (believe it or not!) you represent. They’re needy, easily scared, submissive, clingy abused puppies. Just leave. You’re not in a relationship.

@Iudicatio Год назад

I also had an ex who threatened to kill himself when we broke up, and what I understand now is that, while they deserve help, it can't come from you. You can call their family or mutual friends or the emergency services to stay with them and make sure nothing happens, but you can't be the one to help because you'll end up making things worse for them. And if they do it anyway, it's not your fault at all.

@lenardbruce7813 Год назад

22m just got medicated on something that actually works. Starting to take time away from drinking and put that energy into being a good bf and grandson. But man this post called me tf out. Thankyou I definitely was and might still be blind to my own unhealthy love bombing. Working on it though, gotta work harder. Edit: I meant trying now n days as opposed to not being present love bombing isn't realistic or healthy gotta get my life going. Not that I changed my licence plate as soon as I saw her lol.

@serenity_in_reverie Год назад

5:30 "... he still hangs on to the magical thinking" oh no! 😢 i just read about this today (involuntary deception and illusions in relationship) and i experienced this too. i was crying all day bcs this one particular aspect. maybe not everyone is familiar with astrology but there's synastry/composite energy that would make someone is idealizing them and then would resent them if they don't live up the fantasy/expectation. any neptune square aspect in synastry/composite is prone to illusion. if it's sun square neptune, then one may not truly see who they're as person. if it's venus square neptune, there would be a lot of idealization and resentment if reality clashes with fantasy. and i met all the guys from the INTERNET too! so please be careful when you meet ppl online bcs in online setting, what we project to ppl in internet and to the world is our MC (midheaven) persona. so this is why we could meet someone online that is very different in reality. and for someone with unresolved traumas, seeing their own self-deception can be hard. when they wake up from fantasy, they might realize that it's not what they really want. getting to know a person needs time and awareness so we don't fall to the "ideas" of them. we need to observe, not idealize. if we come from the place of observation, it's easier to let them go when they're not for us. Thanks for this video Anna. 👍🏻

@Blando7887 Год назад

as a man, listening to her story, definitely red flags if a grown man is clinging, this guy is on a whole other level. Its not fair to Sherry that shes trapped. He has trapped her because she’s compassionate. as hard as it may be, sinply ghosting him might be the only way.

@cece1907 Год назад

This used to be reassuring but now it feels dangerous…such a change as you begin to take responsibility for your choice in mates

@whatevsbyatch Год назад

yep my lovebomber turned out to be someone who is stalking me at my worksite now that it's over, because he used screaming to get me to buy him stuff, and I forgave him TWICE 😶‍🌫I feel I really messed up this time. No more narcs or psychos single 4 life if that's what it takes

@irisrose4732 Год назад

@@whatevsbyatch Same here.

@estereism Год назад

Your video comes as a lifesaver 🙏 I haven't spoken to or met my mother for almost a year. Her behavior is very codependent and she fits the description of a covert narcissist perfectly. Recently she called me, and for a change, I picked up the phone. She is hoping to meet me, she was crying as she was speaking about it, she said she's thinking about me every day. It sounds like a lot, but I don't know... maybe it's normal, since she's my mother, to think about a person whom you're separated from so often?! But I've had an extremely anxious and unsettling feeling about agreeing to the idea to meet up (to her it's already a plan). I am torn because I'm thinking that maybe she has changed or is trying to, and that maybe my love, warmth, and me coming back would help her feel the love that she has been desperately seeking all her life. I don't want to be another reason for her suffering... Even though, I'm not sure if I'm not making myself suffer by doing that. But her desperation for my love and attention is making me suspicious. Is it all a trick and pretending again?!? Will I get disappointed again, as I have in the past? Your videos are helping me, Anna, to make better decisions for myself and understand that I have to take better care of myself. Thank you! 🙏☀🧡

@namelessbrat7197 Год назад

From my own experience: your mom is just trying to manipulate you. She's not really thinking about you everyday, and when she is, I can bet you anything you want it's not positive. Also, she's not trying to change. You will know that because she will only say vague, generic things and never be clear and detailed about her shortcomings or what she is trying to change and how. Additionally, if you decide to investigate and question, you'll most likely be met with blame, guilt-tripping, rage or the silent treatment, which is a tell sign that it was all fake (they want to punish you for trying to peek behind the facade). Spare yourself the torture. You wish she would want to change and that you could help her with that. It's our dream to see that happen, but nothing in reality is pointing towards that as a possibility. And worse yet, even if she wanted to change, us, broken kids of narcs, con't help. We first need to truly heal before even contemplating such a feat. We are no saviors... I wish you the best!

@estereism Год назад

@@namelessbrat7197 Thank you SO much for taking the time to reply. These have been tough and confusion (and guilt) filled days. But help from others (like your guiding comment 🧡) is giving me the strength to focus and work on establishing my own foundations and creating my well-being, instead of pouring all that I've got into living for the narc connection. I'm inspired by the healing stories shared here, and thankful for the encouragement, I've decided to join CoDA group and looking forward to the first meeting. 🙏🌻

@peachdreams Год назад

I don't know anything about your mother, but: "maybe my love, warmth, and me coming back would help her feel the love that she has been desperately seeking all her life" - THIS, you cannot fill the hole in someone else like that, she needs to love herself. That is being a 'supply' for a narcissist, it never fills their whole, it's never enough. It's like you are thinking 'what if I be xyz for her', instead of just being a warm kind person in general, that's codependency. You are fitting yourself to others because she probably made you do that your whole life.

@estereism Год назад

@@peachdreams I agree with what you're saying. Thank you! 🧡💜☀

@apakarma7177 Год назад

Wow.. You are brutal ! Love you for that. ❤️ Thanks for sharing this wonderful video.

@billie6814 Год назад

Can't wait for that next video on the moment of clarity and not being able to break through. Is true for me for sure. Not so much since seeing your videos, but yeah still a thing. Thanks Anna.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for watching! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@bluntweirdo Год назад

wow the advice here is amazing. A PLUS.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thank you for watching! -Calista@TeamFairy

@JaneJohnson1951 Год назад

Woohoo great advice! Another question for Sherry, In view of the above, what do you think is happening? Where do you want to be, and where do you think this is going? What outcome do you see? How does that make you feel? Can you remember how you felt before this person came into your life? How would that version of you feel, about where you are now? Do you find yourself making excuses for this person? Do you think they need you to overcome their difficulties? Do you believe that if you 'help' this person things will be okay/good?

@JaneJohnson1951 Год назад

Do they need your help? Are you ready to challenge them?

@qnkendra1523 Год назад

Very timely I do share videos on cPTSD with friends and I really wish they would seek help and express that to them but I needed the reminder of that old adage "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink'. It just gets so frustrating sometimes since learning about it has helped me understand myself and my reactions so much and I think it would help them too. I do have a tendency to have people with similar pasts around me although I have in the past decade through hard work on myself and my expectations and boundaries made the commitment to not be around those who aren't working on being better. It's okay to have a bad past, it's okay even to have not done "the right thing" at times, but you need to be committed to being a better you. Look at your behavior and thoughts and work to change those that don't work for you any longer. I just shared a short from another cPTSD youtuber about how your survival skills from childhood make your adult world small with several of my friends (mostly because he mentions bringing a bazooka to every fight and that was so me for so long) and this reminds me of that. I do feel better that one of my friends I started sharing videos with now shares back and is working with a therapist themselves to get better at dealing with long term issues.

@carolnahigian9518 2 месяца назад

they Insist on 'too Large" gifts!

@froschbart-verwirrt6712 Год назад

This video came just at the right time. :) Thank you so much for what you and your team are doing.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Glad this one resonated with you. Thanks for listening. - Ashley, Team Fairy

@DaPoofDaPoofDaPoofDa Год назад

What a fantastic video

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for watching! - Ashley, Team Fairy

@quietreflections18 Год назад

Thanks so much, Crappy Childhood Fairy and Team!

@Fstop313 Год назад

Dude. That’s not love. That’s not cool at all. :( I would break up tbh. Rather be single

@bb-od9ku Год назад

Sooooo relatable seriously so happy to have found this 💓

@JB4C89 Год назад

You are so helpful thank you.

@Lavenderrose73 Год назад

Honestly, wouldn't it have been just better for her to tell him look it's not going to work instead of giving any ultimatum about getting help? Sure, he would certainly have a meltdown, but if that's the way it's going to be, it would have been better to just say that's it and walk away. But I personally wouldn't do that without the support of a friend who's going to be there first, if possible. Like if I was in such a relationship I needed to walk away from, I would be asking my best friend's Regina and Kenrick to back me when I draw the line and maybe to be there when I do so or at least at a distance with an earshot so that if it becomes dramatic, they can be far enough away that they wouldn't look like they were present but would be close enough to come to my rescue if need be. Don't be alone if you have to draw a line like that, if possible.

@connie10000 Год назад

Amen... that's if you have genuine friends that are willing to TRULY have your back

@stacyjaye6350 Год назад

Good advice.

@billie6814 Год назад

Do you really have a friend named "Kenrick"?

@Lavenderrose73 Год назад

@@billie6814 yes, he's Chinese. And he and Regina are both true blue!

@Lavenderrose73 Год назад

@@connie10000 thankfully, Regina and Kenrick are those kind of friends! I had another supportive friend back in the Air Force when I had to break up with someone. I was at my base, so I had to call him on the phone and she (Tammy) told me to do so and then go back to her dorm and we would watch a movie together. She had also treated me very well when we were roommates.

@yosoyroman875 3 месяца назад

Minus the I love you, and the license plate stuff: it’s very interesting how much this reminds me of my ex.

@kennypham3856 Год назад

Hahaha, I'm Autistic. I used to do this because in past relationships and friendships I was criticized as being too wooden and cold. So, after those nice criticisms I would overdo my passion for my lovers. It's not anybody's fault completely that they misunderstood me as love bombing! But I would agree that 90% of the time, love bombing is a huge red flag.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy

@user-ph4mg1mh9c Год назад

Wow that’s a lot 😮

@coach_amy Год назад

Something I thought of in listening to this: Those with Dismissive Avoidant attachment styles can seem aloof, uncommunicative, secretive, and even nihilistic. This can make the other person who wants a closer, deeper connection really frustrated, and they might respond in an unhealthy way, including yelling. We tend to over-compensate for the other person's lack (i.e. a really loud person might make their quiet partner be inclined to be even quieter; an aloof person might make the other person be inclined to work harder to explain themselves and to get answers). If someone is yelling, why are they yelling? This points to it being really important to know our own and the other person's attachment styles before getting involved.

@silkysmoothsound Год назад

Great video! ❤️ 🌻

@Jewellene Год назад

SO SO good, as usual, Anna ❤

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thanks for watching! -Calista@TeamFairy

@laurenceat9136 Год назад

Brilliant

@smallpotato5445 Год назад

What is “Allenon”? 19:41 Edit: it’s AL Anon! It’s a program for families of alcoholics for those wondering

@RoadRunnergarage8570 Год назад

I actually stay single by choice due to multiple heartbreaks...The model kits I build are my "Girlfriend"....

@PeteS_1994 Год назад

I feel like I have cptsd. I have attachment issues. This video is relatable for me

@RoadRunnergarage8570 Год назад

I agree he desperately needs therapy but at the age of 62 he may be too set in his ways at this point...

@RoadRunnergarage8570 Год назад

I think that a woman would have to be very special and very patient with me since I am still healing from the traumas and to be very understanding for why I have a difficult time trusting others ( especially of the opposite sex)....

@karolinawyrzykowska3574 Год назад

Amazing. Thank you for the video. Sending love :)

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Glad you enjoyed it! -Calista@TeamFairy

@filippersson5256 Год назад

That marks out my situation perfectly..

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@filippersson5256 Год назад

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy its important stuff🖤

@Linda-bj3bb Год назад

Mine too. Even the relationship this guy had with his mother. I wanted to ask what the guys name is to check if it wasn't my ex. I miss my ex's love bombing, because it's so addictive. To feel loved is so amazing even when it's toxic. Especially when you haven't had someone in your life for a long time and after the loss of a much loved family member. One can be so vulnerable.

@filippersson5256 Год назад

@@Linda-bj3bb solving personal situation we have to grip for clues everywhere.. I wish love for you. 💕

@Nando_lifts2021 Год назад

Great video!

@ulkesh78 Год назад

I wish I had paid more attention to this in my now ex-wife

@northshorelight35 Год назад

Look on the bright side. At least he wanted "magic". What about the guy who love bombs you in the beginning and when you finally start to develop real feelings and want to take the next level, he starts to pull away? What a jerk!

@billie6814 Год назад

This video was fire 🔥🔥🔥

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Glad you enjoyed it so much. Thanks for being here. - Ashley, Team Fairy

@billie6814 Год назад

@@DavidThomas-dg8hk good thank you! Feeling well while listening to CCF today. And you?

@bajoobiecuzican Год назад

Very informative 💜 Thank you.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thank YOU for watching & supporting. Grateful you're here. - Ashley, Team Fairy

@lovearttherapyalways Год назад

Thanks so much for sharing this video with us. God bless you!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Thank YOU for supporting the channel. Jack@teamfairy

@tierar2551 Год назад

I like how we're like 6 minutes into you reading the letter and there hasn't been mention of anything she remotely likes about her partner. I think the "answer" is obvious....

@katlaw3503 Год назад

He also had a lot of good qualities and talents. That’s why I struggled to let go but the positives weren’t the issues

@avanellehansen4525 Год назад

She might know on some level, but needs validation.

@KandyKoatedKrafts Год назад

🚩 red flag 🚩

@peachdreams Год назад

borderline personality disorder.

@msmanager2775 Год назад

Love your hair ❤

@willywokeup9112 11 месяцев назад

After 20 something years with a narcissist , me thinks she's found another

@mariakrol263 Год назад

Dear fairy.. How can I write you a letter? It seems so insightful to have your answer for any cptsd connected issue.

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Absolutely! You can send letters to: Hello@CrappyChidhoodFairy.com - Ashley, Team Fairy

@mariakrol263 Год назад

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you!

@vanshikathakur Год назад

❤️

@RoadRunnergarage8570 Год назад

She needs to move on and just hope he figures it out..( Which I think he extremely unlikely..).

@RoadRunnergarage8570 Год назад

Sounds like a case of two wrongs not making a right...

@bluntweirdo Год назад

healthy people are more abundant than weirdos.

@rturney6376 Год назад

Great 🎊 🎉❤ video!!

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for being here. - Ashley, Team Fairy

@cherp5837 Год назад

Anna i think it’s hard got a cptsd person to take responsibility be it children or work i run away from it Can you please help or make a video to share your thoughts Even if i take responsibility i don’t really do a good job at it

@CrappyChildhoodFairy Год назад

Hi there, you might find these videos helpful. good luck. Jack@ teamfairy ru-vid.comsearch?query=procrastination

@asmrmetalman1061 Год назад

BUT I DO THIS AM A NARCISSIST?!?!

@mauricepowers3804 Год назад

👍💖💖💖

@RoadRunnergarage8570 Год назад

If he ever threatens his life again .Time to call 911 and get him into a psych ward to get the proper therapy and medications ...which has worked wonders for me!!

@user-bs2rj5fb9h 7 месяцев назад

Thank God not me , no way . Ive not ever been married . Most men I have met have been divorced. DEAR MAN PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE > I need to be alone , I know about near death. Ive been sick and I dont date online or in person . God knows why. I want to move away away away. Let Go Let God . Dont lead . God is control . I have to go myself. I dont tell any man to go for therapy , its up to them. I know about abuse.