Once again, very well said, Wayne. Don’t know WHERE we’d be without Affair Recovery. Coming up to 2 years from D-day and we’re on the right track, not looking back. God Bless, and good luck to everyone.
I really appreciate that you guys try to be balanced and fair on this subject. Too often faith-heavy groups preach a "God will always find a way" approach to sticking to a marriage no matter what. I have a close friend whose marriage is abusive, and it is very upsetting and frustrating to watch that person stay and try to "work things out" despite the fact nothing has changed in 16 years. There are countless success stories out there where staying absolutely was the right choice, but there are also examples where leaving really is your only option for a better life. I would encourage anyone dealing with this dilemma to work with a professional and don't hold back about the truth of what goes on in your marriage. It will be immeasurably useful in helping you decide whether it makes sense to stay or leave. Bless.
H wayne. The videos I’ve listened to have helped alot. Some i have watched 2 or 3 times. I just wish i could get over the intrusive thoughts. They really do ruin that special moment for me. As the husband in this relation ship it has been devastating.
So what if the wayward spouse checks out of therapy and reverts to old behaviour ie selfish and treating the betrayed spouse with disdain and thinks they should be over it already even though the betrayal lasted 8 years and they are only a year out of the initial discovery? God has nothing to do with this this is the wayward spouse who is at fault and won’t accept that they did wrong and won’t accept responsibility. I think it’s time to move on
Hey thanks for reaching out! Please email support@hope-now.com with your questions. We do not have an office in Charlotte but we have a list of recommended therapists/resources. Grateful you are finding this to be of value to your journey. To healing, The Hope-Now Team.
Did you say a betrayal can be good to create a good environment to change the relationship for the better!!?? No thank you. I do not wish the pain from a betray to anybody..
It’s easy to twist their words one way or another. The truth is, you can use this horrible experience to grow and rebuild your marriage in a positive way if both parties are willing. I wish we would have worked to improve our relationship before an affair happened in our marriage, but we didn’t. Neither one of us. I’m the betrayed spouse btw. I too wouldn’t wish infidelity on anyone, but it happens ALL the time. You can either become better, or become bitter. It’s a choice. They’re simply encouraging you to become better, whether you stay or leave. Best wishes to you.
I see what you mean. But if given the choice to be stuck alone bitter as I am or working thru it with my partner, I'd rather the latter. He did say "in a really strange way"
Our marriage was good, we had no issues, my husband had a friend with benefits and he told me I had nothing to o with it, it was all his fault, he was the a-hole he calls himself, he said he was taking our marriage for granted and that it was perfect, so when you say your marriage can be better after an affair, it’s just made it worse! I’m not the same person, I’m depressed all the time, he’s ruined everything! And he knows it, yes we are in counseling but for me it’s not working, but my husband is trying everything in his power to fix what he’s done, but I’m just not ever going to forget what he’s done to me! The pain I’m going through I can’t even explain 💔💔
Today marks 3 yrs since D-day. I can see so many changes since then, the old marriage, the old me, the old her. So much pain and hurt to get here. I see that it was a fire to change us. To change me. My wife got me a new wedding band on Valentine’s Day. Accepting forgiving and moving forward are daily sometimes hourly choices. Don’t give up friends. You are worth it !! Thank you Dwayne.
This is exactly the message I needed. It’s good to understand the emotional ups and downs I’m having and I truly appreciate the reminder to listen to what God is telling me. It’s still unclear whether there was truly infidelity or not which I think makes the struggle harder because then you still try to fill in the gaps and you I don’t know what’s true and what’s not.
I dont think this is as much for the betrayed. Haveing an affair to fix your marriage was what he googled to justify his affairs from the first year of marriage. I finally got tired of his control and someone noticed i was not ok. Its not that bad. My father had affairs to get my mom to do as he wanted. Anger is all my husband did or so i though. He followed my father foot steps. Now i know why im crazy.
