This is helpful and Hopeful information. Thank you for passing this on. Everyone who reads this should repost it in comments on other videos. This is very good and simple.
I lost my husband 6 months ago and this is one the worst pains. If you you don’t take control of your life others will do it for you, that’s why you have to stand up and move forward with sadness and tears This attitude is what your loved one wants you to take. All wounds heal 🙏
I would allow myself one day to “wallow”. No shower or getting dressed, etc. But the next day, get up, shower, get something accomplished. You are right on when you say you can give yourself permission to grieve but set a limit. Mine was one day (a 24 hour period). Then the next day I knew I had to “live”. You checked all the boxes in this video. I’m coming up on 4 years and the good days definitely out number the bad days. You never get over it and going thru it is the only way to heal. No one wants to hear this, but it’s true. Thanks for telling it like it is.
I've been searching for something that will help me for a year and 3 months. I couldn't take the meds the doctor prescribed and was on a therapist waiting list for almost a year. When I asked the doctor for any resources they never have any answers or guidance. I'm so glad I found you. This helped me to have some stepping stones in my debilitating grief. Thank You.
This was an excellent video. My husband died on May 29, 2023. About a week ago I started listening to some TED talks on grief. One statement that resounded with me was “Instead of crying that your marriage is over, smile that it happened.” Now that I have found One Happy Widow, I listen to one every day and can already see the changes just after THREE days! Thanks for your transparency and support.
Hello from San Antonio Texas.. thanks for the pep talk. Needed to hear this.... miss my husband has been 9 years now. I did this on this Father's day sad stayed home.. just thinking of him remember the things he would say that made me laugh. Then shaked it off sadness grateful for the good times together
Aw, Javelina. I am so sorry it’s so new and fresh for you. My sweet man died in March so it’s been 3 months+. I have 9 grown kids who have been a huge support. They helped me through moving to a condo, selling our family home. I am doing okay, tho I miss my husband and it’s lonely. It’s still so new for you. Give it time, my dear.
I feel for you so much. I am in to my eleventh month but I can clearly remember those first few days. All I can say to you is that although it may seem impossible right now, there will be better days ...or moments. Just follow the advice and get through the hour, the day ...lots of hugs
Four months into widowhood. Your videos have helped me tremendously after 2 months living like a zombie. I’m getting a lot done now. Still some horrific days missing my husband, who died suddenly of a heart attack. Im also dealing with grief exhaustion. But I’m a list maker so your step by step advice has worked for me.
First of all, it’s been a year and one-half for me. A few weeks ago I made u my mind that I choose not to cry every day for the rest of my life and my love for my husband is not measured by the amount of tears that I cry. I have been forcing myself to be around people and do new things. I sometimes realize I have actually enjoyed myself. He’s not coming back and although I still have my moments and sometimes I still cry but I’m trying to live. I’m still having to make myself but it’s a start. Thx for the words today. You always say something that seems just for me.
Thanks so much for our feedback, and I’m so profound of you for making this turn! This is exactly what we need to do- decide to feel better, instead of waiting for it to just happen. #widfam
I'm so happy for you I'm doing the same. Today is a beautiful sunny gorgeous day and I'm choosing to be happy. I know your husband wouldn't want you to be in continual agony over him Take care and God bless.
I lost my friend and “boyfriend” since 8th grade and husband of 38 years 18 months ago. It’s still so VERY hard and the rollercoaster of emotions are still so VERY real. I’ve listened and continue to listen to many different Pod Casts on Loss of a Spouse but yours BY FAR has touched on how I’ve felt and am feeling better than any other to date. I was having a very sad day today and I listen to Pod Casts on a daily to help get me through the work day but today God put yours in my path and I’m so grateful that He did.🙏🏽🙌🏽
That is so nice of you to say, and let’s me know that God has put me on the right path (I prayed specifically about this yesterday, so your comment is His way of reassuring me!). Feel free to join our FB group as well: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
Excellent thank you Leo. Sometimes just doing very basic little tasks ( eg washing the dishes) helps to show us we are still alive and trying to live today...because look! we just did something , that one little task. It' s not helpful therefore to have servants who do everything for us ( as used to happen in the past) enabling us to stay in bed/ in our grief pity party.
You are so right, one step, one breath, one chore. I am 4 years into my journey and while I still miss what I had, there are more things that keep my attention and I am looking forward to what may happen in the future.
OMGosh, Girl...........you always know what to say and how to say it and even when to say it!! Thank You ever so much Leo. Hanging in there, a little stronger, with a little help from my friends
@@OneHappyWidow I know ya'll have. It definitely is working. My emotions and nerves are calming and I'm finally settling in. Thank You so very much, and I hope to help someone in the future the way you and the group have helped me through. God Bless, Leo
@@OneHappyWidow Thank you im 10 months on now since the love of my life passed I am OK one day all over the place the next I miss him so much I feel so lost he had such a wonderful personality I could never match im OK during the day mostly its evenings I miss him so much 44 years married still love him so much thanks just for listening x
Thank you for this video. I really needed this as I was having a bad few days where the tears just wanted to fall, from feeling overwhelmed with all that needs to be done. I miss the security of my husband. I’m at 19 months and I felt that I was going backwards. I realize now that it’s okay to allow the tears and feeling sad for awhile,then I push myself forward and doing one chore at a time. Now I know what to do when the panic try’s to attack me. So thank you for sharing ❤
G'day from Adelaide, South Australia ! Thanks Leo for reminding me of the idea of breaking things down step by step. Things can feel so overwhelming looking at them as a whole and this timely video hit home for me today! Love the new camera - you're looking fabulous! The kids got me a new laptop for my birthday so I'm learning how to navigate my way around - step by step! Take care, and thanks again for all you do for us here !
I loved the tool of the 5 senses. Going to put it into action this week. I like your down to earth no-nonsense-but-sensitive approach.. This grieving business is mind blowing but somehow we will all get to a better place than where we are ..xxx
Love the new camera and lighting. This was a great topic and I needed this today. Was feeling yucky. For some reason I felt " well ok, I have done my year, which was the 22nd, so I should kind of feel a bit better, less sad" but holy moly, today was a rough one. I plan to practice the ( grounding in your senses) excercises to destress. Somedays are better than others though. I can't say that I am sad all of the time. Thank you for all that you do. Big Love. Joniece
This is helping me so much. My precious husband just passed unexpectedly on 2/16/23. I'm sick with deep agonizing grief. I've been crying night and day since his death. This advice is actually working this very moment. Thank you so much much for your compassion and time to help those who are experiencing inconsolable grief.
Easier for me because I am retired but one thing that helps me is not to do what I don't have to do if I don't want to. I may have to send out bills or mow the lawn but I don't have to go to baby shower or show up for something I don't feel like. People will just have to understand. You can find your own examples. A friend wanted to rent a room from me. I politely refused because I am not set up for that and don't want to live with anyone. Just no! I don't want to date. Just no! I don't want to become a minimalist. Just no! You get the idea. And I refuse to o get caught up in family dramas. I care but nothing I can really do about most or all of their issues. I am almost seventy, a widow living on a small income and I am going to do as I please. I spent years caregiving, working jobs, some low pay and hard, raising grandkids, giving away money. I lost the love of my life and I have to accept that. Now I plan to relax as much as possible. Great advice about being present and in Now. You are far out Leo!
Hi,. Every thing I just read is exactly what I feel for my life being a 2month widow. I'm retired I want to do just what I want in my life now . Thank you 😊
Love your videos & they really iron out many truths.👍Just one observation with regards to being in the valley of grief & then picking yourself up, & saying "Ok, that's my grief done for today, on with living" - while that is a very good tip, to help us move forward & begin a more helpful approach toward healing....the sadness can suddenly come back again, like a punch in the belly...It's not always done for the day. This gives the feeling of a pressure & expectation through compartmentalising our grief. It takes time to get up & even realise you are wallowing. But of course, one mustn't wallow in pain too long - & it's a difficult habit to break. Becoming aware is key.😊
It's been 17 months since my husband passed on so much pain didn't think at times that I was going to make it, and it's still very very hard. I have decided though to keep moving forward and with God's help I know I will be ok and I know my husband wouldn't want me to stop living. It's not easy at all but I will keep going because there's a plan and a purpose for me. Thank you so much for sharing Leo you're a blessing 🕊️🦋
This is the only loss and grief video that has really touched me. I like your others too, but this one is very special and is the actual steps to moving through the grieve process. I came across this when my husband died in 2/23, and as i sat thete on my couch in the deepest agony, i followed her directions. I was actually able to calm down and get through that day. Because of this woman's help, I've been able to move through my grief and keep living and working. We have to convince ourselves to do the things we need to do Follow her directions in this video, and you will be able to deal with the terrifying grief. Thank you so much. Im still working through this hard journey of grief, but im starting to believe that eventually will come to a peaceful acceptance. You're an absolute blessing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
What about praying? God is my strength and my rock. Go to church. Become part of a Bible study group. Volunteer- meals on wheels,etc. I have to get over myself and give of myself. Take walks. Be in nature.
Thinking about taking one step at a time, I’m foggy. So I set alarms on my phone for things that have to be done on time. It’s helps me get out the door on time, remember the trash, make lunch - because I’m not hungry a lot etc etc and sometimes I ask the phone to time 5 minutes. Its very helpful to keep me from daydreaming my day away. 😢 Thanks for the great advice.
It's about 3 weeks ago since my husband died on me, its really really hard to accept. Thank you so much for sharing your words/advises, it helps me so much.
I’m so sorry you are in such fresh grief. Give yourself plenty of grace and time to process everything you are thinking and feeling. If you need more support, feel free to join our FB group at www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
I thanked God for your concern and loving kindness for grieving people. May God bless you, make you successful. And may no calamities come near to you. Through Jesus name.
I am a retired educator. My dear husband is on hospice and these videos help me. He also has thyroid disease. I am concerned about that little lump in your neck. Please have thyroid checked.
Hi everyone my beloved husband passed a year ago 😢 thank you dear for the videos i have been watching it helped me so much it does get better everyone 😊just be happy an it is ohk to cry 😢you gonna be alright 😅
I needed to hear what you said in this video. One step at a time, one minute at a time. Thank you Leo, I'm so glad to have found your site. I've applied to join the FB site . Sending love ❤️
This is my 5th day without him, God I miss him so much!!! I spent 16 days in an ICCU, watching teams of doctors trying to save a 67 yr old man that came in with Pneumonia, then developed, resp failure, and had to be put on the vent or die right there!! Then developed renal failure, internal bleeding, and multiple strokes!! I didn't want to give up, but I couldn't watch him suffer!! I said "God, I can't do this anymore" I knew , I had to let him go!! I could have just him on life suppirt to keep him here but that would have been selfish, today I keep wishing tgat i had kept him here another day, just one more day, one more hour, one more minute to let him know how much he was loved!!
I’m so sorry. It’s been almost 4 weeks from the loss of my husband. It has gotten a bit easier. Do you have a relationship with God? He has been my healer, and my hope. I still my husband just as bad as the first day.
Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually. This is a quote I found. Please, If you're suffering, keep listening to this video and immediately do her steps if you're in the throes of deep agony over the loss of your loved one. July 16, 2023 will be 5 months since my beloved husband unexpectedly died on me. I came across this video a week after he died, and it absolutely saved me from going under. If it wasn't for this lovely, compassionate woman, I wouldn't be alive today. Because of her videos, especially this one, I am actually finally vmoving forward with the extremely hard work of moving through the grief process to a peaceful acceptance. Yesterday, I listened to the video again, and it was the first time I felt I could see some light above this very dark pit of agonizing grief. I still have a ways to go, but I can not stay in this dark pit, or it will put me in the grave also. Im very serious. I'm so sorry for everyone who has lost loved ones. May your grief journey be as short as possible, and may all the loving memories comfort you. God bless and take care.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so sorry that you have been in this dark place, but knowing that you see hope and light down that dark path is so encouraging! If you haven’t already joined our group, feel free to apply at www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
@@OneHappyWidow thank you. It's due to you that I feel this way. I never realized that severe grief is a hard journey you have to work through. I've never lost someone so precious to me. The loss of my husband is the most devastating trauma I've ever experienced. The suffering is mind-boggling, but it's starting to get better bit by bit like a heavy traffic jam that starts to unclog, and the moving slowly begins and the momentum speeds up until your finally not stuck in one place anymore. If it wasnt for you and the videos, I wouldn't be here today. I'm an introvert and lone, so I don't feel comfortable in groups. However, thank you so much for all your efforts. They are so precious to me. Take care.
Hi I’m from pa it’s been 20 months since my husband passed away and I try to get passed this and I always get back to feeling the lost him all over again
Thank you for your videos…. My beloved passed, coming up to 4 months ago. I am unable to focus on living. Despite knowing that I need to pull up my big girl panties, I am in disbelief and am unable to move on. Wish everyday I had gone with him. I would like to add something. I am on sensory overload. I wonder if you would consider removing the music sound track. Trying to focus on my senses - kept hearing the music. Had to stop your video.
Thank you for the feedback, I no longer use music behind the videos. I am sorry that you are in this state, and I feel like you might need to talk to someone. Do you have someone you can contact?
