I got myself to a “ okay place “ and now I find myself back to the grief,crying a-lot. I have pulled myself up before and I know I can/will do it again! Just being patient with myself and taking it day by day, I will be okay!
Leo you have no idea how much you have helped me get through this loss without you I would be so much worse but when I listen to you I pick myself up & get through the day my worst day was 6/8/23 when my husband passed so I wanted you to know how much you mean to me & every other widow please keep on helping us 🙏
Needed to hear this. My husband died 5 yrs ago this July. At the same time I was battling cancer. I find myself in a funk every year at this time. Plus I don’t do heat well. I needed this to give me a jolt that I can move forward and have much to be thankful for. These steps can help me get out of bed each day. Thank you!😍
Yes, all obvious things, but we lose sight of how important simple self-care is. Sometimes it’s easier to just follow someone else’s directions instead of waiting to “decide” or to feel like doing it- which might not happen soon enough! #widfam
Leo, please thank your daughter for posting the To Do list !! She most likely knew you'd see it 😊 I've been sort of not taking them to heed lol I will say, I listened to you on Sunday. On Monday, I didn't do a thing with my bed... or take a shower, baby steps, but took one Sat. morning. I got dressed & went out for quite a while. Today, Tues, still no bed, shower or dressed 🤔 But I did do laundry, washed my dishes etc, hate silverware so let it soak lol. I went outside onto my disastrous deck. But put to new flower/plants ! Took months to take the soil from my car 🚗. Watered my houseplants that by some miracle are still alive! They were gifts from friends when Donnie died 17 months ago. Yay me !! As for cuddling an animal, my cat leaves me no choice. She follows me around & has to have a little dish of my food smh. So, for me, I've accomplished a lot ! And very proud of me 😍 Can't remember the whole list, will refresh my mind. Everything you talk about in the what, over a year, I've learned more than I imagined. Keep doing what you've been doing 🙂 love & thanks, Aleta
personal hygiene goes to chaos for awhile..that too passes. My husband of 59 years passed 3 months ago today and I'm in the valley and can't see to climb out of it. I need a list...today I couldn't get out of bed, wow did you describe me to a T...yep, the days are stringing together and I don't care if I have a next step. I want out of here.
I know this is an older thread. But after losing my wife suddenly and unexpectedly 2 years ago, I had to do many of these things just to get myself out of bed and start my day. This eventually led to quitting my IT career (at 59) because it was clear the people I was working with did not care about me and only seemed to increaae the deadlines to determine if I was still committed to my work. It was priceless when I was able to reject this treatment and resign in order to focus on my own well being so I could support my 2 equally grieving teen daughters. Fortunately while our family of 4 had a lot of fun adventures, my wife taught me better than anyone the importance of saving, having life insurance and living within and often below our means. I credit those small incremental steps that you have shared for the numerous home maintenance projects and quality family time I've been able to spend with my daughters.
I do something to help someone else or do something to improve my house/yard....It can be solitary or social depending on my need at the time! I've found helping others is great...and exhausting. Sometimes I need solitude after a little while.
My husband and I are Norse and i really appreciate that even though you are christian you dont try to grind God into your messages. It feels very inclusive. Ive been having a really hard time with my husbands passing and many support groups are just about learning how to lean on god through your grief and i just really appreciate this and you. You got me through my day today
We are all human and share similar responses to our pain. And we all draw strength from some source, but we all still have to do the hard work of healing! Thank you for your feedback- whole I don’t hide my own faith, I never want it to be something that turns others away. If you are not already in our support group, feel free to join: facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow
Thank you so much! I needed to hear this today. I became widowed 4 yrs ago and met a very nice man who I had been my BF for 3 yrs. He passed away of cancer and his burial was last week. I felt much of what you described and tried a few of the things on your list already which helped. Thank you!!! I have gotten better and know things will get better. I think my worst right now is sleeping too much, going back to bed and my energy level is in the trenches. I have managed to get somethings done but not the amount or speed I would like to accomplish them. I'll get there, been here before and it feels different and I have a lot of work ahead of me. I know it's up to me to get to where I want to be. I have the right mindset. I know all has be dealt with and processed in it's own timeline.
Peg, I’m so sorry for your newest loss! I tend to do what you do and sleep way too much when I get depressed. I’m so glad you tried some of the suggestions. Thanks for your feedback #widfam
I made up a bingo card fun things, i like to do after I do a chore task or difficult phone call. I used an old calendar page and put stickers on the numbers, wrote one fun thing on each square from my fun list.
Every morning I get up and list the many things I need to do to take care of myself. I make my bed, get dressed, wash my face, brush my teeth and my hair. Make something to eat and drink. All the basics. I spent too many years taking care of a sick husband, and neglected myself. He's been dead a year now and I'm taking care of my business.
I like happy uplifting classical music: Pachabel’s Forest Garden, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Chopin, Gospel and Messianic Jewish music. Silver Wind’s song “A New Beginning”.
Thank you...that's a great list! When I'm really down I have slept in my clothes and keep wearing the same thing the next day. Not typical of me "before" at all. I put some music on today and it lifted my spirits a bunch. Anyways I will do the rest and give it a try. Like you say...it couldn't hurt 😊
Naps are awesome, as long as they don’t last too long. I can’t nap, or I’ll want to sleep the rest of the day lol. My husband wakes at 3 am For work (he’s a milkman), and he takes a nap almost every afternoon so he can get through until bedtime. I’d say no more than an hour for your naps, and it could give you the energy you need to finish the day. #widfam
Great ideas! This is my second time listening. My three furbabies are having difficulty right now. This is after Two months. I feel like I’m “improving” but they are reacting now. Maybe just figured out that Dad/wheelchair aren’t coming home. Common?❤️❤️❤️(Maggie)
I've tried several times to go to the Facebook page, but it always says the content is not available. I thought I signed up some months back. Even if I click on "join" I get the same message. What am I doing wrong? There is no problem accessing my other Facebook groups. Hope you can help me.
My husband of 49yrs died in 2020. He had a degenerative brain disease. I found him down in his shop in Oct of 2019. I had to call our son who lived next door to help get him up and back in the house. I took him to the doctor the next morning and doctor checked him out and ended sending him to Lubbock TX to a specialist. He had a complete break at being hospitalized.. We brought him home and six months later he died. He didn't know us and couldn't walk or talk. Thankfully he was home with us when he died. It was hard on so many levels. I'm glad I start listening to your utube it is helping me as I'm still dealing with grief so Tank You very much.
