You are worthy and good enough period. Picking a specialty that you are interested in will make you happier in the long run. I'm glad you got the help you needed.
Damn this really hit me hard. And I feel like so many med students go through this too. My situation is a little different, but still feels relevant and hope you don't mind if I share. I started med school super excited to do family medicine, thought I'd love it and it was the place for me. Super broad range of scope, jack of all trades, and lots of long term patient interactions. Plus if done right, really lessens the burden on our healthcare system. Its a dope specialty. Then I spent years reading all these stories of people crapping on family medicine and how it's where all the rejects go once they couldn't get into anything more competitive. So I thought about doing something more competitive. Then I got kicked in the nads by some of my tests and began thinking that I wasn't good enough for specialties and would have to "settle" for family med. Now the specialty that I was most excited for is now me settling. Such a toxic mindset to have. All stemming from listening to others crap on what I love. We got to stop cutting each other down in medicine. We all work hard and have so much to contribute. We are all good enough and provide to our communities regardless of our specialty. Thanks for being vulnerable and allowing myself and others to be in turn. You're doing a lot for the medical community.
So relatable. Went to med school because I wanted to feel good enough. When I was done with med school I still did not feel good enough, so I thought I was a failure... wanted to do radiology or psychiatry at first, because I thought that with my lackluster performance It'll be best if I stay away from competitive specialities (funny enough radiology was getting pretty competitive at the time). Moved to another country, worked in cardiology because that's the first job that I got offered (and I just took it). Unhappy but I wanted to prove that I'm good enough. After two years I was so burned out, that I had to quit. Switched to anesthesiology. And today I am a consultant. Who would have thought. Still not feeling worthy 😂
You are worthy, friend. Behavior is not identity. What you do is not who you are. Worthiness is an inherent property of you, and that does not change, no matter what you do or what context you find yourself in. A strong steel rod is still a strong steel rod whether it's part of a fancy skyscraper or sitting in a scrap yard. Action is not person. Behavior is not identity. Performance is not worth. You got this
Great story! Academic validation something that always lingers in the medical community. Constantly ones self worth is placed on their grades for 11+ years: Undergrad, MCAT, Medical school grades, Step 2, Clinical. This takes a toll on anyone, and being able to reflect on it is great sign on empowerment that MANY don’t realize.
Honestly, such a great video. The medical school journey amplifies any and all maladaptive behaviors students have and it requires alot of work to even recognize them in the first place.
This is so freaking relatable. I absolutely tie my self worth to external factors, including but not limited to academic achievement. I also decided to go into PT for various reasons and sometimes feel like I “should” have gone into medicine or even law or engineering just because I know I could have done it and they pay more and have more prestige. But in reality, I’m happy with my job and doubt something else would have made me happier, so why should I care?
I had this long discussion with myself back in undergrad about med school vs PA school. I felt so down on myself surrounded by all these pre-med students and spouting off how “should I be MD or MD, Ph.D? CV vs trauma surgery??” You don’t know what you want really, we just tie our self worth to academic success and competition. After a lot of reflection, I went PA and I’m so happy I did. There were times where I felt like maybe I made a mistake bc I could have gone MD, but I chose this career and that in itself with my happiness and lifestyle is worth more than anything. You’re going to do great things buddy.
Why did you choose PA over MD? My self worth is 100% tied to external factors, school being the main factor as it is my job and what I work for/towards. Tried branching out, but now my hobby (lifting) is just another factor that my self value is tied to haha. I decided PA halfway through undergrad so I would spare my mental health from stress & being so apathetic towards myself; in addition to PA being less of a task to flunk in case I need to bail to save my ego if all goes south. However, not going “all the way” to MD is also tolling on the mind (lol), even though I do not know WHO Im trying to prove my worth to… myself? Sure, but when does it stop… seems like it never does. The quote, “Proud but never satisfied” is so relevant, yet I never give myself time to be proud of my accomplishments. It’s always “Okay, cool. Good job but could have I done better given ___. Next.” Overall, burnout and all of this self-mutalation has me scared to pursue the med field, although its been my life long plan and dream. Writing this Ive realized I need therapy, buuut I unconsciously refuse to believe that I NEED help lmfao.
@@april-albrecht First things first, PAs don’t “settle” on being a PA. I think most of us that chose PA were at one point in time Pre-Med but found out about PAs and chose it for themselves. I’ve known people that didn’t get into med school and tried for PA and were rejected because of that mentality. PAs are trained under the medical school model, and as such, are trained as generalists. Therefore, we get to pick whatever we want to practice because we have trained in all the core specialties. We can elect to do a residency or fellowship, but it’s not like physicians where they have to match in and are now married to that specialty. My big thing was I can’t pick just one thing to practice for the rest of my life. PAs have the opportunity to practice what’s referred to as “lateral mobility”, i.e. we can change specialities. It’s because of this generalist medical training that we are able to do that. I currently practice General and Vascular surgery but will probably want to end up back in the emergency medicine field because of my history working in EMS before school. I love operating in the OR and managing patients, but I’m sure I will get burnt out and want to leave someday and change to something more slow paced. The other major thing that solidified my choice was how the American residency programs are managed. The “I had to go through hell, so you have to also” doesn’t really align with my values or beliefs. I work with a lot of residents and they aren’t happy with it either. Some of the Surgery residents have told me that if they knew about PAs before hand, they would have chosen that route instead. In the end, you have to ask yourself what do I value and what do I want to get out of my life.
Extremely relatable about going to therapy with a very well defined idea of what you need and having your therapist lead you gently to what you're avoiding looking at lol
This couldn't have hit me harder if I tried. Felt the same way choosing psych over radiology. I knew I wanted to even if it felt like I wasn't "living up to my potential." Psych has been great but I question myself for it frequently. Your therapist is wise. Side note where do I cop that shirt?
The fact that you are part of the future of medicine (and psychiatry in particular) brings a feeling of hope and reassurance that’s pretty hard to come by these days
This made me tear up, ngl. Love all your content, you have a way of expressing what a lot of people feel in a very succinct way. You are going to be an outstanding psychiatrist
Wow, I also went to therapy this year because my coping strategy of accepting that I’m a failure stopped working. Still unpacking the need to “live up to my potential” or “make up for falling behind”. Thanks for posting this!
WOW. This is really insightful and connects some dots that can easily be counterintuitive to connect. My core fears/limiting beliefs are centered in other areas besides unworthiness and I tend not to relate to this precise issue, BUT I'm really close with a lot of people who struggle with EXACTLY THIS (already shared it with some of them) and I'm monumentally grateful for this stellar view into how this mindset fits together and how the gears turn. I hope it comes across as the-huge-compliment-I-intend-it-to-be that you're not only reaching people who can say "IT ME", but also making this super clear and comprehensible for people who struggle to grasp that experience and want to empathize.
This is incredibly helpful. And helped me realize (as someone who is still torn between pursuing clinical psychology or psychiatry after I finish my 2 year commitment to my research lab) that I may be exactly the same way. Not too often you get that kind of insight at 9 AM on a Thursday.
this was me when I realized that I didn't want to go to a t30 university that I was accepted to, and instead went to a t300 podunk. And when I realized that I am a better fit for DO school despite having stats for MD. PS, have been interested in psychiatry for over 10 years, would take it over any surgical sub even if handed it on a platter.
Self doubt can be extremely motivating. Always strive to improve, but also look back and see what you've accomplished. Life is all relative. And relatively speaking, you're awesome 👍
Applauding your vulnerability here, Preston! And thanks for being a future mental health doc who’s working on his mental health…That’s far too rare in this field! ❤, A therapist
Hi, @itspresro. I love this video so much. Like you, I also went into other specialties before Psych. My self-worth was also chronically tied to my grades and performance, and so it made me miserable whenever I reached a point that I struggled to keep up. I quit my residency programs and ended up in limbo. In therapy, we learned that I had ADHD and that I went undiagnosed for my entire life. To be honest, that was super eye-opening and it made me see things from a different perspective. I reflected a lot on myself both in school and at work and how I saw myself as worthless if I didn't have high grades or if I didn't win awards or if I didn't go into this specialty. Of course, I always failed to reach the super high standards I set, and each time, I just became harder on myself. Getting diagnosed and undergoing treatment and therapy has helped me unlearn my hard mindset and, to be honest, life just felt a lot more "breatheable" afterwards. The success it has brought me also led me to choose Psychiatry as my specialty. So thank you for this video, it's comforting knowing I'm not alone feeling this way.❤
Man this hits so hard even as a premed. I'm currently applying and I almost hate the fact that when I imagine myself getting into a good school I know I would be elated. Not because I would be a doctor (because I would feel considerably happier about a better school), but because they have the authority to make me feel so good/validated about myself and my accomplishments.
I want to go into plastic surgery which is hard to get into and I’m not really the most competitive student. I’ve been focusing more of my attention on being happy with whatever life gives me.I’ve been enjoying my non surgical clerkships. Im still doing everything I can to be competitive and I do love plastic surgery, but I’ve been trying to change my mindset of “everything I worked for is for one specific outcome, and if things don’t follow the script I’ll be unhappy”
i wish i learned this 13 years ago. i didn't go to med school but i went to a very competitive university on a scholarship. i was used to always being a top student since grade school but college was a different beast. i flunked for the first time in sophomore year and that triggered my first nervous breakdown. it was awful and i had no support. mental health awareness still hasn't hit the mainstream. i had to skip a semester to rest because i had attempted su*c*de. looking back now, it seems so silly to have a breakdown over an F, but that's what happens when you grew up thinking your self-worth is tied to your academic achievements.
Fantastic insight. Love the serious video now and then!!! Also: I personally think our current toxic combo of distorted capitalism + “hustle culture” DRAMATICALLY affects people’s inability to view their self worth as independent and not tied to anything. I mean, think about it: gotta get good grades so you can get into a good college! Get into a good college so you can get a good job! Get a good job so you can attract a mate, support kids, and most importantly, so you can have passably decent health insurance and not automatically die if you major medical issues! Rent is skyrocketing - yet purchasable homes are disappearing as corporations continue to swoop in and buy them via cash for the sole purpose of…renting them back to us. Our food is getting pricier and pricier while at the same time becoming less and less nutritious, and more and more riddled with harmful chemicals. Can’t socialize because you already can’t make ends meet as it is? Just get a second job! And a third! Problem solved: now you have no spare time TO be in community! I’m not one of those people who opposes work or jobs in general. I do think most of us are built with a need to contribute, toil, and create. But when everyone is progressively closer to the Indiana Jones style flames rushing up through the tunnel behind us, it creates an environment where even a single misstep can mean death, homelessness, ostricization from the tribe. And so, I believe most of us have been programmed from an early age, and on a deeply subconscious level, to believe that we have to earn our own survival. I agree everyone should contribute, but look at how we talk about homeless people, for example! We act like they deserve it; like they….aren’t worthy of safety, or food, of human interaction. Why? Because they were “stupid” enough to work only minimum wage jobs, all because they were “too lazy” to get better grades in school…never mind that they’re dyslexic and had an abusive parent. Nah. If they’d just hustled harder, they would’ve earned those necessities you and I take for granted, Preston. But if that’s true (it isn’t, but go with me), then what does that mean for US? It means: don’t fail that test. Don’t lose your job. Don’t fall behind on bills. Because if you do, then you, too, have not successfully “earned” worthiness. To be clear, I 10000000% DO NOT agree with the above statements about homeless people, about having to earn the right to safety and food and love. All I’m saying is: you didn’t feel that way in a vacuum. Look around - you grew up in a culture that openly encouraged, even demanded, that you tie your self worth to grades, et al. And Preston: fact that you’re putting in the hard, raw, honest work needed to de-gunk yourself from this deeply ingrained belief is exactly what’s going to make you A PHENOMENAL PSYCH 💖
Needed this bruv. I'm a psych NP student about to start a 6 month rotation at a teaching hospital alongside psychiatry residents... feeling all kinds of worry about not being good enough
Why is it that only those of us who want to go into Psychiatry are open to therapy while most other medical students are not? It’s sad because a large number of all medical students stand to benefit from it big time.
We need good psychiatrists. Ignore groupthink! Choose the specialty that best suits you. Medical schools and residencies should be socialized. Residency matches should be allocated based on specialty needs. Otherwise, the country will continue to import IMGs to fill the gaps. Furthermore, no one is entitled to being "Upper Middle Class." Being a physician should always be a calling first. If you want to make money, get a physics or math degree and work on Wall Street.
Wow a lot of acceptance for the fact that u like psychiatry , like u wanna leave society and live in the woods something like that .. why is psychiatry so controversial?
My self worth became fully humbled and at peace when I didn’t teach myself I was good enough but that I came to the realization I’m a sinner, like everyone else, and in need of Christ’s forgiveness that can only come from what he did on the cross.
"Humans. Violent but peace-loving. Passionate but cerebral. Humane but cruel. Impulsive but calculating. Generous but selfish. Humans. Altogether a contradictory and deeply flawed species." - Animorphs #52, The Sacrifice You spam your favorite fiction that you choose to take seriously and draw valuable lessons from, I spam mine
Many many many of us struggle with these thoughts, and I commend you for sharing. As a Christian who just got into med school, I confidently say, Jesus loves me (and you)! This is a truth that is not tied to any “material” thing, and it’s a truth that will set you free. Overly competitive academic people act a lot like overly religious people, who place their self-worth in “performance,” believing that their good deeds are what sets them apart. Eventually we realize it becomes a tiring rat race when we put our self-worth in our performances, whether they be of religion, academics, or anything else. The message of the New Testament, and the whole Bible for that matter, is that we are not good enough (or worthy) and never CAN be good enough. That’s why God makes that sacrifice on my (and your) behalf, and I find freedom in that. I believe that freedom belongs to all who will believe that Jesus died, in his death paid the price for their failure, and rose from the dead in victory. That all may sound crazy if you’ve never heard it before, but just consider this in your heart, and read what the Gospels (books Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in the Bible) have to say about it. 🤍✝️🕊️
"Humans didn't have a great record of getting along with people different from themselves. Humans killed one another over skin color or eye shape or because they pray differently to the same god. Hard to imagine humans welcoming 7ft tall goblins into the local Boy Scout Troop when they couldn't even manage to tolerate some gay kid." - Animorphs #23, The Pretender You spam your favorite fiction that you choose to take as serious truth, I spam mine
