Why Am I Not Happy In Recovery? Also A Story From My Time In The Psych Ward 

I would hazard a guess that there is some Irish as well as Ryan surname is Irish descent.

Shane Jay I Still miss Ryan. You’re right, Shane, we just have to count our small victories.

What kind of drug? I take suboxone and I am afraid if I got off it I would relapse. I dont even know what normal life without it would feel like. I got off it for a short 1 month and relapsed and got put back on sub, I always regret it. I think the lack of sleep drove me crazy.

Do you know how he died ??

@@alyssalopomo pulmonary embolism. He had a blood disorder that causes blood clots. He nearly died on 2 occasions because of it, but this time it got him. Ryan has certainly left his mark in the world of recovery, and I can only imagine what he would've done in the field in the following years.

That is so sad. He has helped me so much in my recovery and helped me get clean in the beginning. Wow sad

Wow, that's incredible Michael. How are you doing? Hope you're well.

Miss Mercury got my 90 day coin on Sunday and now I'm going to speak at my rehab to the guys that are in there now

+Michael Martin Amazing! Well done. Glad you're doing good

I can totally relate to you. I was an opiate addict for 12years using every day and I am now 3 years clean cold turkey. I struggle with depression and anxiety with suicidal thoughts. I can't forgive myself for my past addiction. I feel like a 44 year old loser that should just end myself. I hope you are healthy and happy sending love friend.

@@cliffkonkle3467 yes I totally understand, I’m over 3 years clean about now, I’m 56 n I’m sick of flashbacks n constantly being reminded of what I’ve done in the past from family n nearly everywhere I go I’ve used or scored, n seeing so many addicts waiting on drugs near me , n I always get the look from shop staff n people n it makes me paranoid, n wonder why? I’m not sure if I look like a ex drug addict, or someone on drugs, or what, I’m a pensioner, I stay home most the time, I’ve created my own world , I’m happy with alone at my house, I’m angry a lot around people , n no patients , but people still want to know me n I don’t know why, ( im sick of trying to pretend I’m ok n normal n fit in , ) I’m extremely relieved to be off drugs, I don’t know how I had the physical n mental strength to get through it, pity I cannot delete my past, I look back at drugs in horror, I had know idea the damage drugs does all around, even now off drugs it fucks with me mentally at times, but I’m never using that shit ever again, I’m currently trying to build up the courage to give up cigarettes that I love ,

Rusty 1 he passed away this weekend

Cano Garcia, That’s Wonderful!!! Keep up the good work! You Can Do It!!!😊♥️

take one day at a time brother, u need chat im here , honestly u feel like crap and how i done it was i had too try take my mind off things tbh and best ways is have a think why u feel like u feel like? everyone is very diffrent as you may know but what id do is take my mind off stuff is i watch bit tv and documentrys but thats me, do something wht u like , ie build something or do a hobby? play pool? or chat to sobber person like this guy here on utube. but you done the worst but i had take my medz as it put me into a hospital and i died twice and i seen alot people in very bad places and yeh i wont lie to you i was sectioned for 2yres and it was because i lost my children and losing a child can , well really nearly took my life, its took me litterly 5yres and im ok better , well not 100 percent i tell u the truth, u got kids id be over the moon and back have mine back, thats what should drive you so much more but thair could be so much more then meets the eye, i dont know you personly ?all i say is take step back and look in your children and wife or partner and realise you got more then i got today, you just got to keep on trying and trust me i dont know you but i promise you , you will get more better the mths go by and the yres go by and then you be so much brighter with life, but at the end day u do how you got do it and you got too feel happy how you do it ,>? i hope u well my friend and god bless and take care and WELL DONE YOU DONE NEARLY 3DAYS .i praise that as it takes a man to talk out load on here espeacily when we feel very volumble its good u done very well buddy, you done better then i could as i had go into ,well sent into hospital like the guy on here did as i was very unwell and really wanted be with my lil ones but i know now i cant and got keep eye on my wife and look after her , thats my job for them intill then thats my life and godbless u all will. p.s dont wrry be happy, think that song evey thing be ok in the end,,,well i hope so guys, all the best will frm uk bristol.england

xKILLBILLSx GAMINGx ...I'm not a drinker but had one just to ease and relax the pain. Good bad ?

cindy moore ..thanks so much

Your young so hang in there my friend am 46 and still fighting the battle of my life keep strong ur kid needs keep thinking about ur love ones it can help m8 u be lucky .one day at a time each day u will get stronger. try keeping your self busy n keep fit as possible u create ur own buzz one day peace out addicts peace out vegans peace be with yous all peace ✌

U okay now did things get better ?

Hey Nikki are U good and clean... Just heard Ryan died from blood clots,,I relapsed it's my 5th day clean for the 5th time. I did 15 days clean last month. Just saw your comment under my old phones comment name. Hope your killing it and succeeding in every sense of the word.

I am still not happy... nothing is the same

David McC he can’t now. He passed away. Would of been a great idea though.

Doctor said he had blood clots but he ain't Jamaican man