Why Being Embarrassed Is Good For You 

How do Babies respond to optical illusions .if their brains don't have an expectation. And doesn't uncanny valley show our brains are actually good at detecting fakeness

I'm gonna be honest here Joe, I don't think I really have a most embarrassing moment that I can recall but one memory that I have where I was really embarrassed was when I through a rock no more the size of a grain of sand at a pregnant woman's belly. I was like maybe 5 or 6 at the time and I remember thinking to myself "what have I done!?" as Anakin Skywalker did in Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith. Man, that wasn't very pleasant and I have never done anything like that since then just to set the record straight.

Man it's so embarrassing I can't even find the words to describe it :")

probably any of my "thought" based work in my early 20s.

Let's just say I couldn't keep dinner in my stomach

Well played!

@@besmart getting wedged embarrassing 😐

"Big dill" i am embarrassed for you bro

@@mirachowdhury2538 it's a joke - he is a 'dill' pickle

@@mirachowdhury2538 don't worry because that is actually GOOD for you!

I giggled with the credit card chick. 😂

wow you must be an empath

It's Vicarious Embarrassment, jeez, didn't ya watch the video?

You're getting vicarious embarrassment.

That’s almost third-hand at this point

plot twist. no camera crew, he ask random people to hold the camera

That's on the cashier... she could have just replied, "Thank you, so nice of you to say that" without becoming self-righteously indignant. Then, what do I know, I'm basically a old fuddy-duddy Biden boomer at this point.

You did great. The other girl is actually an outcast.

Depending on her tone, her response could be interpreted as her feeling like she did know you and feel close to you. Sucks having to explain yourself in response but maybe "I don't think so, just thought I'd say that" or something like that. In a world where people stifle compliments and kind words, people are not used to receiving honest compliments

Ah..... What a terrible reaction she had to that. I think I would die inside for a good minute or so if someone said this to me after simply giving a lighthearted compliment.

It's because you said you loved the way she did her hair "today", that makes it sound like you have seen her on more than one occasion instead of just saying. "Hey, I like your hair". Maybe it came off as overly pandering too.

True. I went to high school with a guy who was, apparently, incapable of embarrassment. He may also have been a sociopath, but he was highly intelligent and one of those people who only needs five hours of sleep per night. He's now a very wealthy real estate mogul, but could just as easily have wound up in prison or murdered, due to the huge number of people he pissed off.

🔸Some societies have used peer pressure and embarrassment to make us conform. Antisemitism in World War 2 Germany is a sad example of people being trained to be antisemitic. Good manners and getting along with others are good things for society But good manners don’t mean that you always follow what the crowd determines acceptable if it is not good.

pretty much yes!!

@@meganblasco2 that's how society works. Just like the world today forcing people to accept homosexual.

to be cringe is to be free o7

Would y'all quit saying we? And then get over it?

@@SolaceEasy we

@@SolaceEasy we

@@SolaceEasy we

@@SolaceEasy we

Yeah, i hate any interactions with humans. Be it a positive or negative, it all feels awkward.

I wouldn’t call that embarrassment. I call that social anxiety or possibly a symptom of childhood trauma. I spent decades living that way.

Exposure therapy

Yeah, felt like she was trying to be real smart but said the most basic words of obviousness

@@darkydoom She should be embarrassed

I feel embarrassed for her 😳😳

My brain made me feel embarrassed for her because the brain makes you feel embarrassed

My story is to reload!

Note to self: Chair move does not work. Fall back on reliable "The dog did it! Get out of here Fido!"

@@jonmcdaniel8492 That isn’t going to work in a classroom setting, like she described.

yeah, as someone smart said, courage is not an absence of fear, but a strengh to overcome that fear

How good it will be if doing this is as easy as saying this😐

@@royalfamily5531 Just do it! Worse thing that can happen is people laughing at you. Which means you've enlightened their boring days of not doing anything embarrassing at all costs - so you can be proud of your previous embarrassment as it's a public service or some what. Once you pop you'll never stop. You'll conquer your life one day, mate! :)

Nobody says that biology and psychology can't be used as a weapon. But that doesn't make them any inherently villainous. That's on the user.

@@thangri-la The title of the video literally calls it "good for you," which becomes increasingly untrue as your social identity gets further from "fiscally-secure white abled neurotypical straight cis man." Taking issue with a demonstrably harmful *framing* is not the same as calling the phenomenon itself "villainous." ANY value judgement is unsound, not just the negative one. Success is not goodness.

@@akhragee Embarrassment is used to reinforce social norms and punish anything that violates those social norms. There's a huge range of social behavior. Humans life is very complex. That being said, if you're part of tiny fringe group minority, then get ready for some embarrassment. Unusual and abnormal behavior isn't always accepted or praised by the group.

Humans society has always had a social hierarchy. Did you actually think you could sit down at a birthday party for someone you don't even know? That would be embarrassing because it violates social rules. You don't have membership in that group, you don't have status and you'd be seen as an outsider. You agree to thousands of different social terms and you definitely feel embarrassed when some of those rules are broken. Everyone believes in class and status based systems. How would you like it if the new rookie got paid and promoted instead of you? Lol

In modern society a lot of people are trying to emotionally manipulate the other‘s.. that‘s a really big problem.., but yeah what ya wanna do abt it like abt all these other global issues🤷🏽‍♂️

same, once i went to uni in a Totoro costume!!! that was a blast

as a person who felt exactly like this for most of their life: this is not normal and it can ruin your life!! pls consider getting help somehow if you haven't already!! to me personally getting therapy helped, also studying psychology a bit, and getting into improv. plus there's a book that helped me a lot, i think it's called "the antidote: happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking". it has some questionable takes, but handles the embarrassment and social anxiety topic very well. have a great day! 💗

@Don Za for me, I simply do things out of my comfort zone, not too extreme. Such things as wearing clothes that I am embaressed to wear, or go to the gym. I also train myself to have a not givivng a f*ck mindset, I basically manipulate myself to think in a way that time passes quick and anything I have done does not matter ^embaressing thing^ One of the best ways of training your self in my experience (I have thought this to someone else and it does work guarantee.

Same. When I was a little kid, I realized that I was feeling this "emotion", and I deemed it unnecessary. The way I dealt with it was just ignoring its existence. Eventually I didn't feel it much, or even at all. Same goes for shyness. I deemed that unnecessary, and now here I am, a carefree behavior, lol.

@@inanothertime5227 self reflection is imp sis👍

@@paromita_ghosh definitely!

@@inanothertime5227 But why would you want to wear clothes that you find embarrassing instead of ones you actually like and feel confident in ?

underrat4r

I think it really varies. There are plenty of old people who REALLY care about public behavior.

Im 17 and people say i act like an old man because i dont care what i look like to others and seem cool about it somehow despite being odd...

I'm 62 and waving my Magic Wand Over You. Poof! You got it!

I believe that because at some certain point in your life, you have already experienced enough embarrassment to know which things you should avoid and which things you can just do without the public caring.

And that's why people who're older prone to go senile.

Absolutely. Can't believe they didn't talk about this particular aspect of shame despite that one interviewee literally talking about his experience with being bullied.

istg bullies are the worst. they don't even need a clear reason to pick on someone, they just make up any reason for the sake of being mean. i figured that out when i was bullied for wearing a straw hat and watching a cartoon at 14 😂✌️

I loved this. Have a lovely day u loveliest soul with em kind vibes!! Toodles! Stay Bright Doves! 🕊️ Xoxo ❤️

This is an interesting observation.

@@ChemistTea How can we trust our innate emotional reactions? For example, we're more likely to empathize with a box of kittens than a box of lizards even if those cats will wipe out defenseless native species in Hawaii drastically reducing biodiversity.

@@dangerfly I suppose our innate emotional reactions are more relevant to our immediate safety, kittens are less likely to kill you then lizards. But I don't think you can trust those when dealing with more global issues, like the natural balance of the ecosystem. And there have been examples where people relied on good feelings and by doing so brought about great destruction such as wiping out entire species.

@@ChemistTea Emotions come from the core-like limbic system in contrast to the prefrontal cortex responsible for planning. I've always assumed having life-preserving emotional reflexes closer to the stem is better for faster danger avoidance. We're smooshing dog snouts (pugs/bulldogs) to the point that they have breathing issues. I'd argue it's our empathy that causes us to prioritize neoteny to this degree. What do you think?

It's the holidays... it's the thought that counts 😂

I was thinking the same thing 😂😎

I agree with you, but I also feel that as a kid we are all likely to go though embarrassing moments because it’s our first time navigating the world and it’s social rules. Kids will make lots of mistakes in the world as they try to understand it

The arguments are based on the fallacy that emotions are real Beyond thoughts. I don't believe emotions are real for animals.

@@SolaceEasy, but they are

@@SolaceEasy cool story bro

@@SolaceEasy In the Platonic sense of real, perhaps emotions do not exist beyond our thoughts and perceptions. But the same thing could be said about spatial dimensions; they may not exist beyond our perception. Still, this 'grid of space,' much like emotions, describes the world around us well. That said, I do not see the connection to her arguments. Might you clarify?

We care too much about what people think about us and look what it gets us.

@@SolaceEasy pointless paranoia and discomfort around people. It does go both ways though. Humans can be very judgemental over the smallest things

@@SolaceEasy people judge others wether you like it or not. You can't just go for the "I don't care what people think of me at all" since it won't benefit you long term and it can make you unlikebale. Opinions are everywhere but that's not a reason to act like we don't care about them

I know how you feel😢

He really did just that

(when u should be.)

like when she said "you gained my respect."

I don’t get it

And one of the potential rewards for buying the NFT is dinner with the guy, which he gave to a ɪnsɑne ʜɨtleɾ-loving rapper and some ʜoloçɑust Dɛnɨeɾ he apparently doesn't even know about for without them having to buy anything....

@@LangThoughts I'm surprised, as Americans, you guys aren't immune to national embarrassment yet 🤣

Demn. You were a kid at the time though , so probably not as embarrassing as it would now ig.

So you just fell? What's embarassing about that?

as a person who felt exactly like this for most of their life: this is not normal and it can ruin your life!! pls consider getting help somehow!! to me personally getting therapy helped, also studying psychology a bit, and getting into improv. plus there's a book that helped me a lot, i think it's called "the antidote: happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking". it has some questionable takes, but handles the embarrassment and social anxiety topic very well. have a great day! 💗

@free loonaur 🌙 it's actually not as bad as I make it out to be...in professional settings anyway. I'm stern, eloquent, and upfront at work. I'll speak to anyone and everyone to get what I need. I'll have stern and disciplinary discussions with my employees to put them in line. I'll stand up for my crew against the "higher ups" and clients that could fire us with the snap of their fingers. I'll even speak in front of large crowds for presentations and whatnot. Outside of work is a completely different story. I feel like my presence is offensive to everyone. I can't force myself to talk to strangers, let alone try to initiate any kind of friendship. I'm unworthy of every girl I'm attracted to and always convince myself that they can do better than me. I level myself with the scum of the earth and avoid social settings to relieve people of the burden of my presence. I have considered seeking therapy, but my line of work has me traveling the country regularly and working a rotating schedule between nights and days. To say it would be difficult to incorporate regular therapy into my life would be an understatement. Thank you for reaching out to me. I'll look into this book you recommended.

@@juantamez9442 man, super respectfully, you are strange. o__o how can you be so different at work and not at work, what kind of super power is that??? i wish i could do that too. i'm glad that you can do that and at least one of your life areas has it figured out! but still, maybe you can do something to make your personal life better too. because the way you described it, it IS bad. you deserve to tolerate and like yourself!!!! and to have a support system of loved ones. speaking if which, when i struggled with social anxiety the most, it also helped me to hang out with people who had the same problem as me. imagine two extremely anxious idiots together in public.... that was me and my close friend at the time. 😅😅😅 but i noticed that sometimes having another person near gave me strengh and energy to perform better in social situations. you know, i'm scared of some insects, and if i discover a wasp in my room when i'm alone there, i get so scared that my soul leaves my body lol. but if i have someone with me in that room, like my younger brother, for example, i get the courage to chase the wasp out of the room to "protect" him, even though i'm still very scared. same with social anxiety! sometimes when i felt like my friend was struggling to do something in public, i did the thing for her and felt more confident in that moment, and vice versa. plus even if i made a fool of myself, i had a person to laugh about it with afterwards. so consider finding some people who feel like you do maybe? on the Internet, in support groups, etc. and also i've seen a video recently about loneliness and why it's bad for people's mental health. i'm lonely as well nowadays, and that doesn't help lol. i'll look for it and send you the link if i find it. also also having pets helps. i understand that with your work schedule it's probably impossible, but maybe you can find a way to interact with animals from time to time. it's pretty therapeutic and can give you more topics to discuss with people! idk what else to suggest.... i'll think of some other things maybe! sorry for the long comment + grammar 💀

@free loonaur 🌙 it's not really a super power, it's more like a sense of duty kinda. I get paid well to do what I do, and I'm going to do it regardless of who I have to confront. I approach people because I have a purpose, and that gives me the confidence I need to talk and negotiate with them. I have no directive or purpose when I come across anyone in person. I freeze up when I try to say something, and then I'll hate myself for how awkward I made the situation. If I'm in a large crowd, I'll get this overwhelming feeling of anxiety. It's actually not hard for me to talk to girls when I have to talk to them. If they're cashiers, waitresses, nurses, or anyone I have to interact with to get what I need. I can make them smile and laugh, but I wouldn't dare take it past that. I'll convince myself that I'm trying to make something out of something that is not there. They'll smile because customer service is their job. They'll laugh because they're working for a better gratuity. It's just part of their job. I also have pets, actually. Back home, my sister and my mom are taking care of my husky and pomeranian. I visit them as often as I can, but if I'm being honest, they're more hers than they are mine now. You're fortunate to have close friends, I recommend you do what you can to try to keep them around. Also, it kinda sounds like your paternal instincts kick in when you're around your little brother. I would have that same protective mentality around my little sisters and my older brother, too, but I've never really been afraid of anything.

Pickle *Joe* but I'm sure a lot of people confuse him with Hank Green, so don't feel TOO embarrassed.

​@@vincelamb4063 Hah! I stuffed that one up.

@@vincelamb4063 Didn't SciShow just do a video about exactly that thing a while ago? :D

@@vincelamb4063 Joe and Hank, have a friendly competition going on for a while. For example ; Joe, has said directly to the camera " try debunking this, Hank " regarding something he ( Joe) was explaining. Just saying !

How embarrassing 😜😂 lol jk