Divorces are expensive in the US because it is not about separating, it's about winning. As long as the other person suffers people would rather impoverish themselves rather than comming to a reasonable agreement.
I was married for six years and my ex wife cheated me, ran up a lot of debt, and tried to stick me with all the debt when she left me for another guy. Fortunately I was able get out of it by filing bankruptcy. I’m not happy I had to file bankruptcy, but it was worth it. Most important, we never had children.
Being married has a lot of financial benefits. Just have both individuals work out the finances early and sign a contract like my parents did where assets are kept separated. My mom owned like half a dozen properties solely on her name until she passed away in 2020 due to heart complications (parents were married for 37 years). Devastating divorces are almost always a result of lack of early planning. Discuss hard things during good times instead of bad times.
I had an uncontested divorce in CA in 2017. No kids. I was retired, she was close to retirement. It cost less than $1,000 which were mostly just document fees. I had legal insurance that covered my lawyer fees. The whole thing, from start to filing, took 5 weeks. I sold everything and moved to Thailand.
@@floydphillipsco He's not the only one, I'm also a passport bro 😊 I'm in D.R right now while my girlfriend is in school. The last thing I would do is get married in the states ESPECIALLY to an american woman.
I had to go through a divorce too in 2011. It was the most stressful and powerless feeling I ever had to endure. I understand exactly how you feel. I’m so glad I never had children with my ex-wife.
I think financial security may play a bigger role in that. Because the laws and costs have been high for a while now. Bigger factor is probably the illusion of choice overload combined with grass is greener syndrome.
It's not the reason! And divorce is not certain. If people work at their marriage and men learn accountability and to stop having affairs at significant rates. Then marriages will work.
Prenuptial agreements should be mandatory for all new marriages. No more years long courtroom battles between greedy divorce lawyers and clogged up court systems. I'd never marry without one.
Better yet, don't get married. After my divorce in 1987, I swore I would NEVER get married again, and I never did. I do have a lady in my life, she is a widow and we have been together for 32 years. She knew from day one I would never remarry.
@@sujesh4684It's not necessarily obsolete. Most young men are avoiding it like the plague because they've seen how the courts treat men. Honestly if the courts were fair to both men and women marriage would still be popular.
The only reason I am married is because my fiancee is overseas and US immigration wants you to marry them to bring them here on a green card. So nerve racking
which is why it is expensive so people would reconsider and reconsider seriously before making such decision. it is like the weapons of last resort, like chopping off your legs vs losing it to infection. you would want to try everything else before you chop it off.
Divorce is still better and cheaper than falsely accusing men 😂 and if you benefit from it like most women, the man pays for everything. So it's cheap on your end and you can't refuse a divorce as a man.
@@RealGrandFail did you miss the part of the video where they said on average, divorced men see a 25% rise in finances compared to women that experience a 25% dip? Where on earth did you get the idea that women don't pay for their divorce? And you are absolutely WRONG thinking men are unable to refuse a divorce. In fact, one of the biggest reasons behind how difficult it is for a woman to initiate a divorce is cuz the man does NOT have to agree to it! Thousands of women are forced to stay in abusive relationships specifically because the husband refuses to agree to a divorce. You gotta stop getting legal advice from Andrew Tate
@@RealGrandFail only true if man actually has more than the woman in terms of income and assets. it aint always true nowadays, some men are serious bum and losers, they spend more time in prison than with the kids out of wedlock and to support their unwed mothers. then again, those mothers are also fcking stupid for even getting together with such men
This comment is so stupid. It’s like saying cops encourage mass shooters to commit these crimes so they can use their weapons, or firefighters encourage people to burn down places so they can have a job. Lawyers and judges don’t encourage people to divorce. It’s the fact this society is not loyal anymore to each other and social media has made it easier for people to ruin their marriages.
You would think that high attorney cost would discourage people from fighting. Yet, people voluntarily feed their attorneys more money to fight instead of compromising on a daily basis. There are enough divorces and money flowing around, I doubt lawyers and judges need to encourage more chaos.
Unfortunately it’s politics. One side sees victims among women and the men as the oppressors so we have many cases of where the women come out of the divorce with the home, cars, kids and half his money, plus child support.
In my experience, as an accountant often seeing and dealing with the aftermath of divorce, I see a common element in the high cost of divorce. LAWYERS. Far too many lawyers by their nature and training view every situation as a legal fist fight. And lawyers are just not well enough versed enough in financial matters; especially tax. I have seen far too many cases where the parties and their accountants could have sorted out 80-90% of the issues in a few hours.
Exactly. When my ex and I got divorced it cost use $700. We used a divorce preparer who took care of writing up and filling all the paperwork. We just had to be adults and agree how to divide our assets up and how the kids were going to be taken care of.
@@gregstoddard8097it’s easier said than done. The only way that worked is that both of you are sensible and mature individuals that know that it’s not worth fighting a divorce and it better working together for the betterment of the kids.
I divorced at 62. My retirement is in the pooper. Pension cut in half, paid off house is gone. I've been frugal all my life, and for what? Marriage is great when it's working, it's when it's not working where all the real problems come.
@@Djreactions831 With this platform's Banned Word List being over ten thousand, this comment section is no longer the place to warn men. The youtube comment section red-pilled me in 2009 and I'm forever grateful. The only way to warn men now is via alt-tech.
Marriage it establishes rights and obligations between couple, as well as between them and their children (if any), and between them and their in-laws.
These days they shouldn't even grant marriage licenses unless there is a section with regards to a prenuptial agreement and/or divorce. But we all know the divorce industry will fight tooth and nail against that.
I'm happily married. However my husband was married previously, so wanted to see what this said. He took his time popping the question and I'm glad he did. I think people have the wrong idea about marriage. They think it's going to always be exciting and you're always going to be madly in love with your partner. Wrong... There are days when I want to smack my husband upside his head. There's days when it's hard and there are days when I don't know if I can do this. There's also days I'm head over heels on love. Any which way there's always a guy there willing to work on us. You have to give yourself and be willing to have that person give themselves to you. It's not 50-50. It's 100-100. Marriages don't just work. But at the end of the day, I couldn't live without my husband. I would be devastated. Marriage isn't for everyone but you have to take it seriously if you go for it.
On average, I've made 80k a year. Not great, but not bad. My 9 year marriage and divorce cost me well over 1 million dollars in fees, settlements, equity loss, etc. It pretty much destroyed the cushion I envisioned for retirement, especially in the loss of home equity. People have zero idea how impactful divorce is to one's life until they experience it.
Divorce is the riskiest financial decision most people will make in their entire lives. The breadwinning spouse enters a legally binding promise to split half of almost everything they own on top of legal fees. There is no other financial decision that even comes close to creating such potential for financial catastrophe, and the risk exponentially increases if you divorce closer to retirement age.
@@4.0gpa44 Yup, most muslim countries dont have divorce as a thing. Divorce wasn't a thing in Afghanistan until the US came in and destroyed their family units too with it.
Tyrese had a prenup and it still cost him over 1 million in lawyer fees and she still wants 20,000 a month . Dr Dre had one also and pays 300,000 a month
In these cases, they bought houses and cars on a whim, which was left out of the prenups, which happens a lot. Anything not covered is considered 50/50 in the eyes of the law.
To be fair I don't think a prenup is intended to have the other party receive nothing. Plus we have to view the costs relative to his wealth unfortunately and also contrast it against what would have been without the prenup. If he is paying out 10% of his wealth or income to her as opposed to 50%+. While the figures seem exorbitant to us it probably is an overall win for him.
@@lolalalia4119 nice deflection it’s to show the ineffectiveness as both wives still succeeded in being awarded resources even though the prenup exists
My divorce was supposed to be simple. My ex hired an attorney. I told her, “take what you want. You don’t need to hire an attorney. If you want the house, take it. Just sign the papers.” Her attorney was just getting free money from her. I never hired an attorney. I gladly paid the alimony and child support. I never paid a cent in attorney’s fees and I got to keep my house. The one who doesn’t want the divorce is the one who will drag it out longer than it needs to
@@leea3531 No. Never been married. My point is you can legally donate your saving, retirements etc. while you’re still married, and the other partner can’t say anything about it. It’s not a crime.
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I learned a very long time ago to not get married just watching all the guys I knew in the military who was married, most all getting divorced in the span of my enlistment. Wisdom is watching and learning from other people experiences. True to form I never did get married and I’m beyond it. That’s a racket. Not getting married saves you everything gone over in this video.
@@Michael_Livingstone You wouldn't believe how common it was and i used to be absolutely floored by it and just blown away. I was like 19-20 at the time and it was crazy. But i would watch all those guys and the stuff they go thru and been thru and took it all as a lesson in life and still do.
@@ardentdfender4116 I hope the guys who were deployed won’t be responsible for the kid that’s not theirs or that cheater. I have no words to express on here on how disgusted I am to know that there are folks who’d cheat on their spouse who’s deployed.
@@Michael_Livingstone I was single, so none of that was on me. I was just witness to what was happening to the other guys around me. Same as well where over a dozen women on a Tender ship at our same base who came back from deployment all pregnant. They weren't when they left on deployment, but they surely were when some of the dozen women returned to their families. For me, i was just spectator to it all. I learned many lessons in life from just watching all that happen around me and at the base i was at. Lessons in life i call it and it has surely shaped how i see a lot of things in society.
I was about to say that !! main stream media + feminism is sky high !! Guys do no get married.. date .. do everything but not marry !! Its soo dumb with womens these days !! Only fools and idiots and poor people get married !!
@@justinmiller7398 Women usually get custody of children because the courts are notoriously biased towards women. Im watching 3 cases of biased courts happening in my personal life going on right now and have heard of countless cases before. Family court judges have the most discretion and are very rarely held to the ethics code. This is a very well known thing, especially in law
My ex revealed her real character 2 years into the marriage. I was able to slide out of the marriage with only have pay child support for my son that I see weekly 3 days a week. I was young with no assets she could steal from me. A year after I divorced her my income increase 20 percent and this year has increased 63 percent from money I was making while married. I was able to reinvent myself and build a stable career that has a bright outlook. Got a new younger girlfriend looks better than my ex and more fit that I advised I’m never going to marry due to the biased family court system and the headache called divorce court.
Mine henpecked her new bf against me. And made it difficult to see the chile. because i was supposedly toxic to her. which she is allowed to have her opinion. she tried to erase me from my boy's life. we battled it out . my income ain't as it was before the whole debacle but i have plans.
Perhaps the men passive-aggressively create an untenable situation instead of initiating divorce, forcing the women to initiate it. Ever think of that?
Love the manosphere's popular assumption that women initiate divorces purely out of boredom, monkey branching and monetary gain. Because men are innocent angels and never make women's life more difficult in marriage :)
As someone who's been thru divorce and luckily came out still intact for the most part, I see very few benefits for getting remarried. Especially at An age where me and my potential spouse wouldn't even have the option to have more children.
Not speaking from experience (yet anyway), but you don't need to get married to have kids. While your "troop" count likely diminishes with age, I imagine you still can have children but just not accident-prone like teenagers/twenties. Younger woman of course if you've got the resources and she sees you as the prize.
You do know they can program bias into them . the same way you can legit write a code that targets specific skin color into AI. and this ain't no conspiracy
@@johansjournalNope. Only like 14 states have common law marriage. If you live in a state like Utah, you're not married just because you lived together 5 years (mainly meant to keep polygamy from being legalized)
suppose your lover is a foreigner so only a legal marriage could allow her/him to have a permanent residency right. this is only one of many other differences that with and without a marriage.
For those already married, here are some cheaper alternatives: 1. Dates 2. Vacations 3. Marriage counseling 4. Keep your mouth shut 5. Don’t insist on being right 6. Practice saying “Sorry” (doesn’t cost a penny and solves most problems) 7. Don’t cheat / sleep around 8. Ask God for help
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It's simple, NO PRENUP, NO MARRIAGE. Separate property marriage and it should only be a religious ceremony. I'm an Engineer and I make almost 7 times more than my girlfriend who's a preschool teacher. She lives with me and naturally, I pay all the bills, including our vacation and recreational expenses. For months now she's been breathing down my neck to pop the question and last week, I gave her my conditions.
Hope for the best and plan for the worst. Discuss what happens if you were to split up before getting married, not because you hope to or plan to separate but because life happens.
You do realize lawyers make EVERYTHING more expensive and difficult in life here in America......from running a small business to medical to large corporate.....etc....better lawyer-up is the American mentality.....
Or just fix the law so the "default prenup" is the base case in statute, ie: in my name, in your name, in our name, all else being equal assign custody before child child support, and child support and alimony only to backfill to the 40% percentile cola adjusted per major metropolitan area. it's so simple... but you'll never get the women's rights people to ever agree to anything fair and equal when it comes to divorce.
I don't know why someone will have a marriage license without a pre/postup agreement. We need to change the family court laws or do away with it entirely.
Problem is state law still got involved. If you’re together for a set amount of time and live together they’ll say it’s a Common Law marriage and go after your finances if (when) it goes sour.
You do not have to believe anything but this is a fact just google it cost you less time then writing your comment . : There are currently eight states that recognize common law marriage: Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, South Carolina, Texas, and Utah. Each state has its own specific rules for recognizing common law marriages.
A successful man will usually say good, now I can provide for my wife and kids. A successful lady will usually say good, now I don't need my husband if I want to leave him.
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Unfortunately, my mother stayed with my father knowing that he cheated on her throughout the whole marriage. (They've both passed away.) She foresake her happiness; with a man, who didn't take his vows seriously. She did this because she loved her children. Still, I feel heartbroken for my mother. ❤
00:03 Divorces in the US can be very expensive. 01:42 Divorce be expensive due to court fees and additional expenses. 03:14 Discovery is one of the most expensive parts of a contested divorce. 04:42 can be financially devastating, leading to high attorney fees, debt, and financial instability. 06:05 women suffer a significant decline in their standard of living compared to divorced men. 07:42 can lead to substantial financial loss and a decline in standard of living. 09:00 can be expensive due to legal fees and negotiations. 10:23 Divorce in the U.S. can be expensive and time-consuming.
As someone who is happily divorced (due to DV), my suggestions would always be to make sure that your partner is truly the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and have children with (if you want any, that is). Don't rush into marriage. Date longer and communicate more. Are you both on the same wavelength when it comes to what roles you want in your relationship, how you want to raise your kids (religion, traditions, discipline), and especially finances. Talk about what commitment means to you. Live together for a while and use it as a trial run for marriage - are they lazy, unsanitary, demanding, abusive? And remember that prenups are great, but understand judges can and will throw them out if they deem them unfair.
It doesn’t matter how long you’re with someone in a no fault state. They could just decide they don’t want to be married to you anymore. Especially if it’s financially beneficial to divorce you.
@@mattiaslp9645 it costs approximately $250k to raise 1 child from age 1 -18, and that was a figure pre 2020. It's understandable for couples to hesitate
Who someone is today is not who they'll be in 10, 20, 30, 40 years down the line. You can do all your research today and it won't matter. You can't predict someone else's personal growth.
[00:00-00:45]: Divorce Costs in the US [00:45-01:08]: Contested vs. Uncontested Divorce [01:08-01:37]: Real Stories of Divorce Costs [01:37-02:10]: DIY Divorce Approach [02:10-02:48]: Additional Fees and Expenses [02:48-03:36]: High Costs of Contested Divorces [03:36-04:18]: Impacts on Finances and Lifestyle [04:18-05:14]: Custody Battles and Legal Fees [05:14-06:00]: Post-Divorce Financial Struggles [06:00-06:47]: Economic Effects of Divorce [06:47-07:58]: Gender and Financial Disparity [07:58-08:25]: Reducing Divorce Costs [08:25-09:28]: Keeping Costs Down and Effective Planning [09:28-10:09]: Cost-Effective Legal Support [10:09-11:00]: Considerations Before Marriage [11:00-11:33]: Prenuptial Agreements Benefits www.buymeacoffee.com/tommykim
I'm the primary breadwinner and my husband is a lazy abusive obese bum who does gig jobs when he feels like it. I'll be the one at a loss and have a more complicated financial situation, yet I'm still going to divorce him, because you cannot put a price tag on mental peace, cutting your housework and food expenses by two-thirds, and not crying anymore.
You mean divorce? My neighbor from Afghanistan said divorce wasnt even a thing in Afghanistan until the US came in and destroyed their family units too with it
That's the problem. Everyone is treating marriage as just a contract. That is what caused this divorce epidemic. It's just a contract. Let me sell you on the idea that marriage is much more than "just a contract." Give me 5 million, and I'll tell you all about it.
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This video so biased towards women. The whole concept of having to pay maintenance or alimony is so out of date. It is institutionalized legalized robbery that can last years, or in perpetuity if the marriage was long enough. Split assets 50:50 what you accumulated while married. Share custody and placement 50:50 (unless there are extenuating circumstances to prevent otherwise). Part ways. Done. Moral: If you are a guy or the primary bread winner there is little upside and tremendous risk in getting married.
Law people do not know accounting, for if they knew the 50/30/20 rule, they would know that a guy can only give up maybe like 10%. What about tax returns? Why file jointly? Why can the law no split the assets according to income proportion?
Lol tell that to a woman after you lost your job in the great financial crisis and you are underwater and heavily in debt, “babe, lets just work on this!”
That works if both parties are willing to put in effort. If one or both parties firmly believe their spouse is the sole problem... that marriage will never be a happy one.
I really hate how they brought up the raw wage gap, when part of the reason for it is glaringly apparent in this video. Marriage and divorce are crippling financially for men. Imagine being financially better off AFTER paying for child support and alimony when compared with being married. Yes, men's incomes grow after divorce because they are no longer shackled to someone who holds them down financially and emotionally (and the fact that we are often the ones who have to pay for alimony, that is another motivation for us to make more). We don't have any financial cushion to fall back on. It is all on us. While divorce sucks for everyone involved, we need to make more because we don't have any support. We can't just simply bail on whatever it is we are doing because we can marry a bread winner. We need to climb the ladder. That loneliness and that climb is hard so maybe leave the wage gap out of the convo, because women could definitely do it too if they wanted to, but they have a sociological out, and they take it.
Don't get married at all. In the U.S., 41% of first marriages end in divorce. 60% of second marriages end in divorce. 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
Most people stay married. Upwards of 75%. A handful of people get married 4 and 5 times which drives up the divorce rate numbers. Literally, if you put 3 guys in a room, and 2 are married until death, the divorce rate will be 66% if guy #3 is married and divorced 4 times. Meanwhile, the actual divorce rate among the 3 guys is only 33%.
I'm single and i have always wondered how people who claim to love each other before marriage, get married and within one or two years begin to fight for a divorce. I'm trying to understand but i still don't. Is so called "love" a lie?
Its one of two things, one partner goes into the marriage thinking of taking full advantage of the other wanting to screw the other one over for everything that they can take them for, the other is they both are going into it with blinders on thinking that marriage fixes everything.
@@Donkeyearsa I see but that can't justify the divorce. Why can't couples settle down their differences ? If you really love each other, you'll not divorce despite the situations...
It’s true men do earn more after a divorce and women earn less. It happened to me, after my divorce I had to work two jobs just to make sure she maintained her life style and she just completely stopped working. She earned less but what she did get was completely free.
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Never sign contracts with someone who is rewarded with both cash and prizes for betraying you and that is what marriage is. "Love" has nothing to do with it whatsoever, men are in love, women in business. The only way to win is not play the game.
Law Firms can and will successfully find out ways to get prenuptial and postnuptial agreement thrown out or disregarded by the judge. So just don’t bother getting married at all.
Just do a commitment ceremony instead of legal marriage? Do a general partner agreement with your spiritual spouse. Only lawyers win in a divorce. Keep money separate, and share consciously. Not automatically ❤
Top 5 countries 20% or less divorce rate, Ireland, Mexico, Colombia, India, and Vietnam. They range from 12 to 18%, different reasons. But mostly due to culture, government laws, and welfare.
In America its 60% , not including the many who stay married for various reasons.. How do we bring the numbers down to more comparable of those countries you mentioned?
@@julm7744 no idea. I doubt it though. Saying that, the Philippines and Ireland were pretty much last two countries to ban abortions til a few years ago.
@@MrHammer2088 Vietnam is low to culture, family, very feminine country. And no welfare. India is culture and high arranged marriages. Ironically arranged marriages in many places have a lower divorce rate than the individual choosing. Mexico and Colombia are no welfare, family and religion. I was a child in the 80s usa. You know you had to go to marriage counseling for 1 year, and pretty much prove adultry ot DV. Not say it, prove it. Was pretty much region who put no fault divorce and made it easy. I work overseas for last 15 years, all over globally. Married a viet in 2020. Worlds of difference vs usa.
Be careful conflating Divorce with Child Custody. In a marriage, its one action with separate judgements and separate effects. ASSETS: Men tend pay the upfront cost in legal fees, child support payments, and marital asset losses. CHILD CUSTODY: Women tend to get Primary Child Custody so they bear the negative effects to their potential long term career opportunities and possible future earning potential.
I met an older man while he was delivering my food via Uber Eats. He told me he had retired after working his whole career at a university. He got divorced and his wife took most of what he had. He was delivery food to earn money.
I think the easiest way of avoiding divorce is to not get married. Maybe we should outlaw marriage to avoid all of this? I can't even tell you how many people I know who have been absolutely destroyed financially and emotionally from a divorce. And with a divorce rate kissing 60%, what is the point?
Well, one wonderful thing did come about over a divorce - a great Tammy Wynette song called, "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" Yes, divorce can be awfully painful and difficult - especially if there are children involved. Anger, hurt feelings, and a desire to "get even," often drag divorce cases on for much too long - and thus, the ever increasing attorney fees/court costs. (We are all human beings with human emotions/feelings). I went through this difficult and sad (divorce) situation myself, though not in any dire or expensive way. My ex-wife and I had a "friendly divorce" - we agreed ahead of time as to who would get what (I told her, "take everything you want - and I'll keep the rest"). In the end it all worked out (we had no children together, so there were not any complications in this regard). Today, we are great friends (we both moved on to happier relationships) and any long ago hurt feelings have been worked through and long forgotten. Cheers to all - especially those of you who are facing some of these difficulties today. This too shall pass.
I laughed out loud when I saw that the guy paid the most by far. Sounds about right. 70-80% of divorces are filled by the wife (depending on who you ask.) Coincidence??
"So how can Americans reduce their costs?" You notice how the lawyer mentions things like "fight less" or "agree more." She didn't say the keywords: don't get married.
@NightRidah777 I guess but most of the time the child will be posion against you and no amount of money or time can fix that. I don't have kids but I seen my brother go through by divorce and child support. His older son tried to fight him at an cookout.
@@MalevolentBite The same risk applies in divorce. Depends on the other partner. The only argument I'll say makes sense is a kid is better in a 2 parent household
@NightRidah777 definitely. I personally say. Don't get married if you don't want kids but if you got kids it's just better to get married for the family. Look at the suburbs and then look at the urban community. One tends to get married and other doesn't. I don't believe in marriage but it's better for families. If you don't want a family then marriage makes no sense.
There is no greater love of my life than my freedom to NEVER have married when a woman wanted to. Besides, like the saying goes, why sign a government contract with a woman when she benefits greatly & financially from breaking said contract.
And when society and main stream media keep perpetuating this myth that the majority of women in this country make their own money today, they neglect to mention that only 20% of women in this country make over 45K on their own WITHOUT alimony, child support, inheritance, welfare or lawsuit/insurance settlement. As someone who use to work for the IRS, the vast majority of women today are incredibly low wage earners.
As a man, divorce is devastating!!! Dont marry unless you are 100 percent that is the one forever. Dont marry takes the law out of the equation and make it even
