The holy trinity of dating in America. Looks, race and height. For example a short average looking guy with great personality and confidence have zero chance with an tall awkward good looking guy. Your looks is you personality
@@Callsign-Blade_RunnerSG still no chance with a tall good looking guy that is awkward. Your looks, race and height dictates every aspect of your life especially in California
Haha, true. Speak the truth brother. Women love bulshitting about "it's personality that matters". While in actuality they only want tall, non-fat dudes. They looking especially for white dudes.
Haha I don't know about being a nerd can get you a wife in Asia. Asian nerdy man still have to make an effort. But in way it's true that the "nerd" look is not much of a turn off in Asia vs. the Western world.
Dating as an Asian-American male is on Veteran mode, even when you're "good-looking" lol. However, the main problem with AA males is that we believed that stereotypes affects our dating chances, and that made us lose our confidence. We gotta pick up the attitude that we don't give a fuck and we're going to live our life as best we can! People/women will gravitate towards that when we do what we want (with reason)!
I've said this stuff for DECADES. No one believed me. As an Asian male, I fully see this issue of why Asian men struggle with dating, marriage, etc. It is a complex issue. At least others now finally see this.
Wow 😲 If i hadn't watched this I wouldn't know you guys struggle with dating. Well, as a black girl I feel like when a man is good looking and down to earth it's okay. 🌹
@@faith9220has an Asian man ever asked you out ? The reason I'm asking is that Asian men and black women are the demographics least likely to get responses on dating sites.
I grew up in so cal in the 90’s where Asian men weren’t really a thing. We were just basically set aside and so I didn’t really try to date anybody. But now looking back there were a lot of Hispanics, African Americans, whites, other Asians who were interested. I just didn’t notice because I was so down on myself and insecure. I’m just saying that yes the stereotypes are there. But instead of focusing on the systematic flaws, probably better to just work on ourselves. I’ve been fat and unattractive and gotten no interest. But I’ve always been athletic and attractive and without even trying I got the respect fr other men and interest from women. I think I that it’s important for you internally to decide that the media stereotypes aren’t true and be confident. And rather than spend all of this energy focusing on the bad things and hindrances, focus on overcoming them. Because yah it’s definitely there. But it’ll be a vicious cycle if you choose to just focus on that. I would just do the work internally and the women will come.
Good analysis. However, one point I think you missed is that many women, rightly or wrongly, believe that Asian men have “traditional” views of gender roles and relations which is unappealing to modern women.
I'm latino, good looking, have a six pack abs, business owner and I still struggle with dating why? Because I'm 5'8 socially awkward and timid. I have better luck dating women from Colombia, Venezuela, Africa and Asia.
It's an unfortunate racist stereotype that has permeated our society, culture, and media for centuries. It's almost impossible to fight ignorance and common myths that people will still believe and sadly defend to the better end.
People wont even acknowledge this!? They just victim blame. I told my freinds holllywood keeps casting unattractive azn men and women and azn never gets the girl reinforces negative stereotypes. They like oh well you sound like an incel with victim mentality. Its not that women cant even picture dating a azn guy cuz they nvr seen it before, its cuz us azn guys arn't try hard enuf?
I assume you don't live in Asia. A lot of information is either incorrect or very outdated. Most of what you said is also really western points of view which are biased.
I can totally understand if Black, Latino or White women do not prefer dating Asian men because there is a cultural difference. The problem arises when Asian women prefer not to date Asian men and leave Asian men with no other options.
@Tasya 💕 We're trying to spread awareness here and someone is being ignorant. People like you are pretty much the reason why internalized racism exist. It's when asian women tries to shit on asian men while thinking highly of themself. It's not our fault if you're xenocentric and hate your own culture. So stop trying to shit on asian men that are single because you just proved that you're racist.
@@nathanliew2103 Hello, I hope I'm not overstepping by asking questions as an outsider since I'm not a male or Asian. If I am, please let me know and I'll delete my comment. I'm in a professional black woman group and we have been discussing dating in the US. We discussed the struggles for black women, specifically those who choose education, entrepreneurial endeavors and our careers but as we accomplished a lot professionally we have began to focus our attention on dating. Which has been a nightmarish roller-coaster. We are literally striking out with our own (black) men because we are deemed nerdy, "acting white" because of our demure demeanor or too successful. So many of us have opened our options to interracial dating and literally have found some success with dating white, Hispanic and Asian men. I asked 2 colleagues (who is a Thai American Women and Filipina) about the culture of Asian men and was told to not even try. 😔 I don't want repeat what was said by the ladies just out of respect but it wasn't pleasant. Both these ladies have white men as significant others. So my question is... if Asian Women are raised in the same household as Asian Men what is causing these group of women to not want/rebel against their own counterpart, traditions, culture, language, familiarity, etc? As a result of these small group of Asian women intentionally choosing not to date Asian Men, are Asian Men considering opening their options to dating other races? If you are dating outside your race, what challenges are facing? Are traditional Asian parents playing a role as to why modern millennial and Gen-Z Asian men are not engaging in interracial dating?
Asian women are identified as slut everywhere i go... If not gold diggers or harsh biatch ... They believe the white narrative or just are pushed to hate their own male kind because they are simply under despised .... In fact if asian male dont start killin other race they wont go back on you because asian are sluts thats all Maybe after war with china and full destructions those sluts will utterly understand why bastardisation of your kind doesnt bring anything to this world only lust envy and death
It's because dating white is considered a status symbol in the asian community. I also noticed that only beta white men date asian women. Asian alpha men date white women. I'm a latino that has lived in the asia.
"status symbol" people with that kind of mindset is what causing racial barriers in first place. you need to start appreciating individual beauty no matter the colour and encourage interracial couples. the western media is whitewashing our brains. And many of the negative stereotypes about asian men exists because of western media's representation of asian men. its 21st century grow tf up!
"status symbol" people with that kind of mindset is whats causing racial barriers in first place. you need to start appreciating individual beauty no matter the colour and encourage interracial couples. the western media is whitewashing our brains. And many of the negative stereotypes about asian men only exists because of the western media's representation of asian men. its 21st century grow tf up!
A few years ago, after my divorce, I struggled a great deal on the dating scene. Being an Asian male did not help. I was in my late 40s and living in the suburbs. I considered myself fairly good looking, I still had my hair, I worked out so I had a nice bod. I also had a job and a house. I was the “package”. I did not do the bar or club thing because I was too old so I had to rely on these dating apps like Match. On Match, each person had a profile. For a while, there was a section for race preference. As I scroll thru the profiles for the women, rarely did it ever say “ Asian”. It was usually “White”. If a woman was willing to date a minority, I would see “Black” or “Hispanic”. It wasn’t just from white women but also Asian women as well. We as Asian males are rejected before we set our foot out on the dating scene. The whole experience was discouraging..
Your comment really touched me man! Thank you for sharing that with me. Yes, sometimes it's not just stereotypes but also things just aren't inclusive of Asian men all together. We are forgotten. I hope you've been doing better lately though!
Best of luck on getting approval from the Asian parents too if you like an Asian guy! If you don't check all the boxes for Asian parent's approval then 9/10 no matter how much he likes you (at any age), a relationship will not happen. I'm really surprised this wasn't mentioned. My BF is Chinese, he treats me like a queen and is absolutely gorgeous!
It's great to see someone who is expressing and trying to tackle this real life issue about Asian men on a social media platform. Hope your channel gets more exposure on here.
I don't think Asian men struggle in dating. It's just that they don't care much about dating. After getting married they pay more attention to their new families. :-)
In my case I've had some people mostly white girls asking me to go on date. Most of those girls don't try to approach me and asked me out too suddenly. I just got scared away.
China/Japan/Korea are actually considered south east Asia (along with Thailand, Vietnam, etc), while the part of the map that is labelled south East Asia is more commonly Pacific Asia.
All sets of people have their struggles even if they seem to have it all. Be willing to let time have it’s course, and you will see a difference. PEACE!!
You forgot to add the arranged marriage issue. Marriage was mostly arranged in Asian culture, because of that Asian boys never learned social skills to compete in the dating world. 2nd is the height issue. The average Asian men height is 5'5-7 ft while the average white men are 5'9ft. Height is the major factor in getting dates, in any country. So listen up Asian parents, start feeding your kids growth hormones.
Just lots of protein and calcium brother. If you get a son, YOU PUMP HIM FULL OF THAT SHI YOU HEAR? Despite what were told, we could be eating alot better than what we are traditionally brought up with.
Just wanted to add one simple comment. I think that the number one problem or area we as Asian men need to work on the most is CONFIDENCE. You need to believe yourself to be a worthy guy, that you will bring a lot to the table, and any female would be lucky to have you. Not saying be arrogant and delusional. I’m just saying have that confidence, people around you, not just women, can tell if you lack this or not.
for Asian men saying it's all about confidence, nah it's not true unfortunately, you going to tell a pigeon to be as confident as a peacock? it's all about looks and image, in ww2 for example when the germans invaded france the French women found the German invaders attractive even though their French men were getting butchered, they were fucking the butchers loool. Asian men have just got the short end of the stick genetically. I've seen a white guy with scoliosis slay women on online dating, looking like hunchback on Notre dam while me with my six pack abs ,because I've been doing boxing for 6 years, didnt even get a message 😂. it is what it is, truth is you got to earn alot of money to compete with men if your are Asian in the west especially. I've seen fat black men who have super Gino slay beautiful women too. its rediculous, especially if you live in south london.
Yeah Asian men don't have father figures to teach them about dating. But I don't blame them, Asian fathers by default are too busy working and it was easier for them when they lived in a time where they didn't have social media and dating apps.
I'm a gay top. Give me ALL the Asian bottoms between ages 25 and 35 (I'm 30) and not ONE will leave unsatisfied. If they don't want them, I do 😍😍😍 In seriousness, I'll give them what they want. A one night stand or I'll date them. Either one. Point is, I LOVE Asians 😍😍😍
@@trekkingtomahawk921 What is there to buy? No one is selling anything. Please don’t try to pass your experiences as our’s. Everybody’s is gonna be different and real, just as your’s is for you.
@@trekkingtomahawk921 I’ve been interested in three Asian men throughout my life. Not my fault they didn’t like me back. 🤷🏻♀️ Anyway, you’re entitled to believe whatever you want. Just don’t pretend to know people and what they ALL do. That’s generalizing.
I am Asian. And i know i am destined to be alone for life. People keep telling me the right girl will come along...but it doesnt . What i read in fairytale stories doesnt exist...rather be alone than throwing money on dating courses that doesnt help me one bit. It is either you have it or you dont. It is something to do with naturally being talent...like for example not everyone have what it takes to be a professional footballer, CEO , Engineer, PHD . Different people, different talent of skills , and for dating women, those talent pool of men is extremely minimal. They are the ones getting the chicks again and again.
@@kentang1528 But... In today's society where polygamy is at least extremely rare... Not every woman would be 'taken' by those 'talent pool of men who're good at dating'. As I do think that most women would either want those men to be faithful to them, or they'll hook up with other guys at the very least if those men keep getting other chicks like they often do. Won't be surprised many girls would leave them after that, or even not really be with those guys at all. My point is, the ratio of men : women is overall the same. (I know there's slightly more men at a younger age, but only slightly so), and since most of the time there's no long term 1 man multi women relationships, you should expect a lot of women to be available. And they too might be struggling to find the right guy
I’ve been wondering why Asians are put on the bottom of the dating pyramid if you guys are really great especially when you have a good job and workout a lot
Very good video with historical and cultural references. I have heard of the silent screen Japanese actor, but did not know what he looked like. As you know, many people, especially young people struggle with dating. I remember hearing about a professor who was approached by one of her students & inquired, how do you ask someone out for a date? The struggle is real.
no we do not struggly woth dating, ive been with black, white, latinas, and mixes before i never made it as a skin color thing, i was never conscious about being asian either
But one problem is this Asian men are very picky when it comes to choosing a partner (I don’t date other women I only date white women) they always think bringing a white woman home Will make the parent happy or something Not like Asian women are not picky they always give chance for ❤️
🤔Not sure about your experience with Asian men is... but the Asian men I've known mostly go for other Asian women and are only picky when it comes to the woman's job and chastity.
@@asianmanstruggles808 When you fall love with somebody it got nothing to do with what job she does As long as they treat you well and willing to stick beside you that’s most important thing
@@mortalle22fj Really? I wonder if women have that same sentiment of men? We both know they dont, so spare the hypocrisy. No woman is dating a gardener unless he looks like Chris Hemsworth. As for asian men not dating their own women? No thats definitely in your head. Or you only saw the 10% that have it all together and disregarded the 90% that you judge as undesirable yourself. So again, a hypocrite
I'm legit the opposite of most Asian men 'cause I legit go straight to the confrontation which results in me using lots of death stares and headlocks against people who pisses me off
Im also the same way. Had to because all the muslims and white dudes in my area always tried to dominate others (in Denmark. They were just looking for easy targets. Though it was apparent they automatically thought I was an easy target cause of my race). I love it. Its the last thing they expect from a quiet asian dude. Even better when they find out the hard way that I practice thai kickboxing.
Hey Michael, Thanks for viewing my video on my channel. I just check out your video and your data trends and historical roots are really insightful to understanding Asian men and their plight! Glad to see Asian men youtubers out there talking about these issues like on my channel!
They aren't East Asian men who are unattractive for Western women. East Asian culture is just unattractive. A women is nobody in strictly hierarchical Confucian culture. The only way to achieve some power in an East Asian family and society is having a son. A husband not always has a good emotional relations with his wife, because the most important woman in his life is his mother. Asian men are always loyal to their mothers, not to wives. Asian women can't fully rely on their husbands, so they have to rely on their sons. Ties between Asian mothers and sons are especially strong. Asian mother try to control whole life of their sons, including love life. In the past, Asian men could have many wives, or "legal" concubines. Women had no rights. They were only a property of their fathers and husbands. The only quality that men appreciated were beauty and ability to give birth to sons. This mindset is still prevalent among East Asian families. So, if an Asian man "struggles" with dating, he should look for a traditional Asian girl who fully accepts Asian culture. But, if he wants to break the rules and find a Western girlfriend, he have to understand Western women's expectations. Some Asian men say that they are too short, or.. too small... to come up Western women expectations. But, it isn't true. Look at Latin men. An average Latin man is shorter than a Chinese or Korean man, but nobody says that Latin men are unattractive. Western women look for independent, strong and reliable man who can protect his girlfriend or wife. Man's hight or money aren't so importan as his personality. Everybody can fail, but only strong people can start again. Western women prefer mentally strong, independent warrior rather than a smooth face scholar.
Asian American men grew up in the west and they see flaws of they culture and many other things. But listen White Winen don't like Asian men not bc of they shortness but bc they look feminine, not manly enough and face of Asian men are not seen as attractive to women in general.
So it is not only culture old custom but also physical characteristic in general makes Asian men unattractive. I know Asian men in the west who spit on they culture of confuciasm and tried to treat women with respect as human being. But still wonen don't find them attractive. So reason is that woman want bad guy. But when asian behave like bad guy they are considered now as misogonist. Double Standarts. Next When Asian men are in shape independant and have good fashion sense still being rejected. I know those people personally and they are generally has zero success. So problem here is even how hard it is going against all odds. Your success as an Asian will be 0,1%. Remember asian men who are westernised are different than mainlanders. Latino Americans on average are taller or same average height as Asian men
Most white women in general says they like personality but actually physical appearance matter for them most. Bc that gives woman a sexual drive. Another thing i already said. Mexicans are in general Caucasians. They have characteristic of White People. That's why wonen like them. Another thing. Asian men who is ta or short still will be rejected. Not bc if culture but bc Mongoloid race is not seen as desirable for women in general. Love is overrated.
Great and fresh perspective. Thanks. Asian culture as of current is pretty beta. Japan has also become the West’s laughing stock in terms of anything related to dating or relationships which ads to the negative media portrayal of Asians.