Why do Japanese men ghost foreign girlfriends? 

- The Santi Newsletter: How to Have a Good Relationship with Japanese Men www.onedayjapan.com/nljb

Sorry to say but non-confrontational being resulting in dishonesty, especially in serious relationship. You say it’s ‘modesty’, but it could be modesty only for regular friendships and to be kind for strangers. But when we are in a serious relationship or dating/flirting, it can cause so many conflicts specially for the foreigner person. For example, you can say that he/she is good looking or clever to a normal friend or a stranger to not make him upset, it can be modesty, yes. But relationships build in a deep honesty, not modesty so from the beginning 2 people should be honest to each other. I see many Japanese people (I don’t talk about all of them) don’t say their true feelings to other part in dating, so the other person if it’s a foreigner, doesn’t understand the real feeling or how will go the relationship. And it cause to ghosting usually without foreigner’s fault. I think it’s so cruel and rude. Ghosting is a abusive method which usually describes narcissist human beings in Western. They seem so interested in first days, but short after they became so busy, other side doesn’t understand they been rejected so they try to wait with patience and in the end they being ghosted, no exceptions for this around my life. I think many Japanese people should improve their communication skills, at least when talking to foreigners. We are outspoken and direct people so we won’t have a problem if they been honest to us, instead of wasting our precious time. My life motto is, ‘Hurt me with truth , but never comfort me with a lie.’ And I don’t mean to be disrespectful or rude to Japanese culture but I think we should accept the thruth, many cultures have their own issues. Thank you

Sorry if I misspell any names. They're not written so I have to go by what I hear. 6:00 [TrueLove] - Long distance relationship and ghosting. 19:49 [MusingWanderer] - Are Japanese guys conservative? 29:26 [Shy12/Shay12] - Relationship with Japanese boss. 40:50 [Sakura Kentasha] - Japanese guy hasn't confessed even after 3 dates. 52:02 [Newdansoome] Are there separate words in Japanese for "crow" and "raven"? 54:48 [Iyoisho] How can a teenager make friends from Japan? 59:49 [A] - Japanese guy says "I love you" after first date. 1:06:19 [JB] - What is considered a high salary in Japan? 1:08:12 [luputous life] - Are Japanese dishonest? 1:20:21 [Brian] - American dating a Japanese woman who is still friends with her ex. 1:28:54 [Vintigal] - 25 year old Asian girl studying abroad, likes a Japanese guy but not sure if he likes her. 1:46:00 Reading comments.

Loving this video! So many info ☺️

you’re so animated and blunt santy san! so cool! you made my day:)

Thank you santisan. I wasnt able to watch because i was busy. My boss is actually employed in a big corporation and has branches in here and he manages the new open branches here. He likes to take care of me, tease me and we went out few times but hes really on and off. He even said he likes me more than friends but he cant explain (he told me that after i told him i want to stop liking him) he wants me to work closely with him and doesn’t want me to interact with other guys from work. He said he cannot date coworkers, thats why i said i want to stop liking him and im okay just be friends. But sometimes his actions say different. Bought me gifts and said he talked about me to his family. When im pulling away hes reeling me back in. His politeness, charming eyes and kindness are the reasons im drawn to him.

As usual, your advice is refreshing & truthful. Enjoy your views on situations/life, always gives me another way to think, consider. TY!

You can't loose that feeling. Just right person will wake it up in you.

Thank you so much Santi-san for taking time to respond. Much appreciated ☺️ It surely will give her idea on what to do... She just became your subscriber ,haha but she is shy to ask. Anyway Looking forward to your videos!

Thank u santi!

I like to hear santi's radio, also I can practice my English listening 😘😘

Hello Santi san..New subscriber here☺️ Your videos are very interesting..☺️

I have been binging your vids now bc you’re such a rarity within the Japanese culture. I mean that in the most nicest way. I appreciate your candor. You totally got lit on the Japanese honesty topic 😅. Your demeanor and posture changed. You even brought the flag out 😂. (It’s funny but culture doesn’t change body language for many). Anyway, the point is I live in JPN as an expat, and understand both sides of the coin. But just to expand on what you’re saying, Japanese people are not dishonest imo. They seek external validation thus care about the opinion of others. Is it good or bad? It doesn’t matter because it’s not gonna change at this time. The younger generations are definitely more outspoken and don’t care to save face as much. And for ppl that say JPN ppl can’t speak their mind or be individuals is incorrect. Holding your opinions from others does not make people dishonest. No one is held from speaking out or doing things as they like. It’s just social suicide. If you’re okay with getting dirty looks, not being supported in your actions, and so on, do it. No one stops the population from doing it. People choose not to do it bc they’re afraid of that bombastic side eye from おばあちゃん (grandma). But many Japanese ppl don’t care tbh. Some are just more sensitive than others. What I have learned from living here is to let go of any expectations from people. You have to accept yourself as you are, and make a move based on that. Is he hot/cold? It shouldn’t matter. If I’m unhappy, I just keep moving forward even if he starts warming up again. Maybe I’ll be gone, maybe I won’t. My life has been much less stressful. I try to be as respectful as possible without compromising either culture.

Breathe in, breathe out... Neeexxxxt ✅ Arigatooo Santi Sensei, nice chit chat moment as always 👌🏾 Stay blessed, have a great week 💪

Hi Santi San, can you make a video regarding Korean -Japanese, 3rd generation a.k.a Zainichi in Japan? For research purposes. 😅 Thank you

What is the title of the drama? Interested😊

Hi Santi, can you make a video about Japanese men in stressful period?

Hi ! Thank u for ur wonderful videos I’d like to ask u can u make video about Arab? Bc u lived in Dubai , can u make what they japanese people think about Arab and about dating Arab . Seems good video to make bc no one talk about this topic. Thank u again

Thank you alot Santi. I have a lot to think about. But now I don't feel so crazy about my concerns and I really appreciate your honest advice. Fwb is friends with benefits

Connection is very important regardless of nationality, character hits different

Hi Santi,a quick question,when japanese people use the word IKIGAI,can you tell a person,you are my ikigai.

I have a question I met this guy it was so called ナンパfrom his side i was walking down street in shibuya he just start talkin to me he was soft spoken not typical nanpa so i talk to him but i was pretty straight forward and strange that ik u wanna have sex withh me and bla but later we met again we hangout i was being rude to him he was still being nice to me and told me wanna meet me again he started kissing me i kissed him too he finally ask me to take him home i started being so rude and weird with if someone ask me out in a gentlemen way i would be nice but now i feel regret what should i do was i ba dto be rude to him i told him really bad stuff like really rude what u think

true love- Why didn't you explain to him ten years ago? That you never liked him? Why did you make him believe in a misunderstanding and even make him firmly believe that although you two would never see each other again, you two have long been in mutual love? You kept a lie going for years. You let him misunderstand until now,and even will let the misunderstanding continue until his death.why?

Haha....a month later: I will fly to Japan.

Why Japanese drink so much? I don't like it and my friend don't talk to me.

japanese culture seems like so much energy is wasted