Why Do We Feel Shame?

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Tori Olds, a therapist at Deep Eddy Psychotherapy in Austin, TX, talks about why we feel shame and how we can repair the overuse of shame.
If you'd like to watch more therapy-related videos by Tori you can check out her RU-vid channel - / drtoriolds

Опубликовано:

11 сен 2016

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Комментарии : 43

@abyyman1671 4 года назад

Shames played a part my whole life and I find it hard contacting friends. Crazy man honestly

@LarlemMagic 4 года назад

Fighting the shame to share this video as widely as possible.

@wuer0012 3 года назад

You nailed it for me with this video! Exactly how my parents "parented".

@craniumproducts 5 лет назад

Wish I'd found you years ago. My mother has a crippling shame-based identity, to where she's been a narcissist ever since anyone can remember. I left her to marry another narcissist with shame that became our whole lives. Thanks for the validation!

@abyyman1671 4 года назад

How's it going though? Any better?

@elkekirkpatrick6481 4 года назад

With my mother, things are pretty bad, thanks for asking. It's gotten to where she is ALLERGIC to the sound of my voice. She tells family that her heart is breaking because I don't call her enough. But when I do call, she gets physically ill within 10 minutes, has to run to the bathroom, gets so upset she stays awake the whole night. For me, I find I have been subconsciously been punishing myself my whole life, so hard to break when it's this ingrained. How are you?

@ljkoh20052000able 20 дней назад

The activation of shame in your example is mixed with neglect

@JulieMayaPanda 5 лет назад

Thank you so much!

@ljkoh20052000able 20 дней назад

Being a baby boomer. My parents way back then never repaired my shame. As long as i got their point, then that was it. No wonder it stuck with me

@LoneWolf-fy9gi Месяц назад

I feel shame because of one time my mom ignored me, i was excited and talking about something about scool, she shout on me , i drop school, and from that moment i can't explain my feelings, and always shamed and shy and my throat hurt😢😢

@theotherway1639 3 года назад

Good vid. The book "30 Days to Overcome Shame" by Harper Daniels, was also a big help.

@abdallahmatongo3169 10 месяцев назад

Great video. I wish it last longer.

@MrBrink182 Год назад

Me too happened because shame isn’t an emotion or thought anymore.

@tulip5210 3 года назад

Yeah I realized I have been feeling deep shame towards my friends.

@sleyaraze8916 4 месяца назад

This explanation 👏

@tamirozon4510 2 года назад

thanks that was real awsome :)

@einareinarsson8662 2 года назад

Because its necessary for some people to behave for the best of everyone. Embrace your shame. It helps. Its your ally.

@jtcruz125 Год назад

no it isn't. shame is not required to have a conscience or as you say behave for the best of everyone. on the contrary people are more motivated to to horrible things to others by shame than probably any other emotion. (American Psycho (the book) goes quite deep into this). guilt, which you may be referring to, is 'i did something bad' and that is appropriate sometimes. shame is 'I AM bad'.

@blenderheadxyz2418 10 месяцев назад

Wow thats such a good explanation. Could you suggest books to read up more about Shame ?

@r_tiom1882 3 года назад

Nope. Mostly guilt has to do more with actions than shame. Shame is a result of unhealthy self interpretation whereas guilt is about rules and actions.

@alkashbaig2116 3 года назад

I sold my brother for no reason in front my online class 😖😣

@debaguisso 5 лет назад

I am madly in love with your voice. Marry me in a phenomenological way?

@universeofopulence 4 года назад

.... there's lot of audio disturbances..!!

@emerica4711 9 дней назад

This is true, but this is not shame. Shame comes from a not having your needs met throughout development and the child, whom has an innate intuition about what needs need to be met, doesn’t have them met and infers something is wrong with them

@erikg007 Год назад

This has to be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, who is she?

@E_m_p_t_i_n_e_s_s 6 лет назад

Yea, that's right. 😏😓

@theknife69 5 лет назад

Shame is the most useless emotion

@rebeccajones9757 6 лет назад

Whoa

@Atomic-toons00 10 месяцев назад

That nasty feelings come from other people and they effect me like toxic

@LoneWolf-fy9gi Месяц назад

I wish i saw it early

@EliShanti Год назад

I'm sorry this is just my opinion but to me this is very mental. The toxic shame as many call it often is caused in childhood . Since it produces a lot of stress in the body and the brain I was hoping to understand why , the utility of shame. I did not get it .

@willygmusic7860 5 лет назад

I feel no shame.

@jonsnow911 25 дней назад

whole

@paologeminiani 10 месяцев назад

Nothing to do with evolution

@yurinanoer4942 2 года назад

The most shameless is GG even has a beautiful body or face doesnt mean still be confident after act different with experience. You got it.. arabian fake..

@exus2sky 3 года назад

Incorrect. Shame is the knowledge of one's own guilt. It is a reaction to the knowledge of good and evil and choosing a lesser, and realizing it embarrasses, even hurts one's ego.

@TomeRodrigo 3 года назад

Incorrect.

@Kerm88 2 года назад

Shame is a social tactic used to keep people in line with societal expectations. It had nothing to do with good/evil, as that’s not even an objective thing. Humans dictate what is considered evil and what is considered good, and often times we get it wrong.