Here’s what I know from decades of exploring these issues: it’s all programming and starts early. Much of the trauma we experience in life relates to other people and from the time we are born we are hurt the most by those we love and depend on, and from those experiences we develop dysfunctional ways of coping with unmet needs, frustrations, and unfulfilled desires. Later these same reactions are triggered by the very people we love the most and we act out. It can be quite complicated but it’s not a conscious choice - it’s as automatic as a mouse trap. But we CAN make the conscious choice to stop -- to be aware, re-evaluate, and not react. Then we can heal the old wounds and develop new patterns. But it takes a lot of work and requires self-awareness.
A 100% this. Man we're mean. So much bitterness in all of us from the things happening around us and in the world now. We have no outlet and where's the place we bring it back to? Our homes and our loved ones. So unfortunate that they're the ones facing the brunt.
This is excellent. I feel like we are able to not “hid behind our mask” as children. This is what kids display their emotions so strongly. We learn to hide it because of what we are told. To “stop crying”. “Calm down” ect. Then the child learns they need to act a certain way to be accepted. Especially with parents.
In my experience, I feel I can be the most authentic and honest with those who are closest to me (husband, children, siblings), but precisely, for that reason, I put myself in a more vulnerable position when interacting with them, which can activate a defensive response that may end up hurting the other (and those closest to you also know you best, and know your triggers) ... I'd say the closest the relationship the more intense are the emotions (both positive and negative) Great reflection topic doc!
Our whole family just had Covid and this variant is nothing to mess with. When are you going to cover this topic again? I see a lot of misinformation out there and I think people would benefit from it. Especially some who are saying you can get "long Covid" from a booster, etc.
Because we think of her so close to them that we own them somehow and therefore, we shouldn’t have to give them the same amount of respect that we would give to anybody else including strangers, and I know everyone’s guilty of that there’s not one person on this planet, who’s not guilty of that I’m guilty of that. I’m still guilty of it and I know better and sometimes I slip but I try to remind myself that they are not yours like you don’t on them, and they can definitely walk away and cut you out of their lives if they wanted to.
I remember your first few interviews with your friend, whom I believe was also a Doc. He has changed your life. It is easy to watch and realize that you have done a whole 180 and have a renewed sense of self, what is important to you. Are you still practicing western medicine? The philosophy behind all this this is intriguing. I don't see a path to practice medicine in California in this state of being. Fascinating.
This triggered emotions in my relationship with my mother - haven’t seen her for 2 years, for my own emotional stability- I’m doing much better, however, this interview struck a chord - I feel guilt for not wanting to care for her Insightful- Awakening goes on and on my friends - the “song that never ends” 🎶 😉💗
I think we are meanest to the one we love the most because we hate ourselves and we project this hate to the one closest, so we can punish ourselves through the guilty and shame mechanism.
