When I was a child (before I converted to Islam) my mother had 4 children and married my stepfather who had none. He treated us like his children and legally adopted all of us. He is the one I call Dad. He was the best husband to my mother. I have yet to see or hear of a better man. Sadly he's not Muslim.
Make dua for him. If he loved you all that much. Never stop making dua for him. Read tahajjud towards the last 3rd of the night and ask Allah to open his heart to Islam... Slowly give him dawah. Be the best daughter and inshallah Allah will put guidance in his heart. If hes still breathing, there is still time, dont give up❤️
@@kayc.8283 Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said: “It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) - unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)
I think this problem is not just a problem coming from the males, but generally it is something that the guys family will be totally against too and will actively try to prevent them and talk them out of doing this, if it was encouraged or even not looked down upon by family then I think more males will be open to do this.
wallah you really spoke. I have also been married young but still do not know what marriage is. He has left me with a child and NEVER cared for his child and no contact with his child at all. She is now 13 years old, she knows who her father is but never calls her. Unfortunately. I am still alone 14 years later. I think that's a pity. I'm 36 now and I still hope to get married someday. Please make a Dua for me. Don't want to be alone anymore
@FEAR KCP That's incredibly rude. Go and learn how to behave and how to communicate before giving your opinion. May Allah bless you sisters for your Sabr and may Allah swt give you the best under the spouses. A men with full of taqwa and love for you. There is a beautiful dua which Musa a.s did, when he went out of egypt without nothing. With this dua he got a wife, provision and so much more subhanAllah. You can find it in Al Qasas Ayah 24 and it goes as follows: Rabbi innee limaa anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer ''O my Lord ! Truly I am in need of whatever good You bestow on me''
Nope. I mean sometimes she does the chores, often I did it. But all I say I enjoy doing it because Prophet Muhammad SAW used to do it. Beside you get to have your own me time while you are at it.
So long as the woman has deen and obeys her husband I don't care if she's divorced or a single mother or whatever. I would take a single mother who has deen and is obedient and appreciate the husband 100 times than a rebellious, deenless virgin who'll make your life a living hell.
You dont put yourself in her ex husband's shoes. Imagine if your wife dump you because of modern marriage contract and mentalité, forbid you for seeing your children and put them with another MALE !!!
A solution for single mothers/divorcee/widows is polygamy. They could become 2nd, 3rd, 4th woman of a stable and righteous man. It was made for that in the first place. Now I wonder how single mothers/ divorcees/widows feel about that?
Im so sad because my mom is a divorcee, we are all young adult daughters now and my dad failed us and my mom is so tired of working,she wants to be a housewife and have someone take care of her, shes an amazing person and beautiful too, but she has to be in this situation and im a student i cant even help her at all, shes a revert as well so her family doesn't help her (in european culture once youre an adult u dont live with family or get help like this) i wish someone would be with her and take this burden off of her inshaAllah
Its never to late. I know 2 Sisters, one her Mother and the other her Father in law married together 😂 all Kids where grown and both already had Grandchildren. They travell alot together and love each other dearly
a single mother can be just as good of a wife as a virgin could be. i for myself was married 7 years and unfortunately got cheated on, when my baby was only 3months old. it broke me cause I was always taking care of the house and my husband , was always faithful and even left my homecountry for him. but he had nothing better to do than cheat on me as soon as we were in the us. i left the states to go back to my family and friends. up to this day I'm still taking care of my beautiful son whos now 13 and I couldn't be more proud of him. unfortunately my ex husband doesn't care about his son at all.but I have moved on and learned from the past. i just think we as single mothers shouldn't be judged in a certain way in the possibility to find a honest, faithful and hardworking man.
I would marry a non virgin as long as she lost her virginity/ made love in a halal way. Single mothers I would marry as long as she is younger then me, the child is still very young, and the man is dead. Sorry that is the best I can do.
Im a recent revert and it actually makes me laugh 😂 I'm divorced single mum with kids and I never felt better, happier and closer to Allah ❤ if a man doesn't want to marry me then don't bother, I'm so happy myself, having already many interests and hobbies and loving people around me! 🙏 you take your way and peace be upon you
I always find it interesting that whenever men have preferences they are crucified, yet women can have a list a mile long. Everyone always asks men what they bring to the table-what do women bring to the table?
@dignitytrue428 That doesn't mean they are inherently good mothers and wives. We also bring the ability to get them pregnant. We also support them through their pregnancy and are expected to be the providers and protectors of them. This means that we as men must literally be willing to lay down our lives for both our wives and our children. And yes, they are most certainly required to bring more than just the ability to bear children. As far as nurturing goes, it can not be taken for granted that women are inherently more nurturing than men. I was blessed with a wonderful mother, but others aren't so lucky. Interestingly enough, women in the U.S. are actually slightly more likely to abuse children than men. In 2021, there were 447,590 cases of child abuse reported in the US. Of those cases, 213,672 were cases of children being abused by men, while 233,918 were cases in which children were being abused by women. As far as women risking their lives for childbirth-that's simply not true (at least in the US, obviously in poorer countries this is still very much a risk). In 2021, 1,205 women died of maternal causes in the U.S.-or about 32.9 deaths per 100,000 live births. This is an increase from 2019-when only 754 women in the entire U.S. died of childbirth complications. This increase was likely due to the pandemic. However, these numbers-as incredibly low as they are-are probably still inflated. We use the WHO criteria to define maternal mortality rates. This definition considers women who die up to 42 days after giving birth or terminating a pregnancy with any cause either created by or aggravated by pregnancy to have died due to pregnancy.
Brother, lets be fair... in a muslim society where the man has at least a bit of authority in his home, yeah that could be a sacrifice which a man does and will hopefully be rewarded for by God ... but in the western society where the man is already a slave in his own home by law, do you really wanna risk bringing even more trouble on yourself by having to deal with some strange man's kids? You might wanna first experience that yourself for a couple of years before promoting the idea... kids will wreck your life and and when that brings her to the crossroad of choosing between you and them, she will not think twice... she has, after all, proven that she's capable of leaving so she wouldn't really have a problem doing it again.
BULLSHIT - you are so warped with the brainwashing that has been fed to you - and stop spreading propaganda when you have never walked in other shoes! How does a child wreck another person's life = that is a farce! GO AWAY ALREADY!
im in the place in life where i am financially capable of taking care of a wife and children, if i had children myself i would consider a wife that had a child from previous marriage, but since i dont have kids is it wrong of me to want to start my own family first?
No not at all. As a single mother myself, I would advise you to opt for a child-free woman too. I personally would only consider someone with kids too. I think their is hikmah in marrying your like.
Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said: “It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) - unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)
Asalaam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh brothers and sisters, well in ma case am a single mom of one beautiful daughter, en honestly speaking before having that sweet little girl l always felt like l was not whole. Ts been fours years buh alhamudullilah they have been the most beautiful years of ma life. So to every single mom out there just know that Allah knows more than wat we know. If you want man, I mean any Muslim man u desire, just wake up for tahajjud en I guarantee you that he will be it's by Allah's grace. Am so humbled by how Allah continues to honor me, so thank you ya Rabbi.
my step dad married my mom when she was divorced with 2 daughters and he was the best man to my mother and the best father to us and still Alhamdulillah now we are old but i will never forget how kind and generous he was when we were kids and he still is, he is the best Allahuma Barik , he is a blessing from Allah. maybe nowdays some people become very selfish they dont think of others strugle and how they can help them for the sake of Allah, women and orphans are both weaks they need help and mercy not insults that "disturbed male" (not MEN) enjoy to say today you mock other people struggle tomorrow you will fall in Worse kind of it, just wait and you will see (if you don't repent).
Custody is until 7 years of age. And it does not have to be 1 person only who has the custody. It should be the person or people who are the mort capable and fit to take care of the child. After 7 years of age there is no custody anymore and the child can choose which parent they want to live with. Wa Allaho a3lem If you research it with more depth and only to understand it, you could see the nuances and different details better. May Allah help us all to understand His deen in a right way. Ameen
If a woman remarries the custody of the child goes to the father. In anyway, she loses custody. That is why nobody wants to marry them. They use man made laws to keep kids from the man. It's not all cases, but a good portion of them.
Alhumdulileh I have 3 school age kids and Allah bless me with a single never married husband. Unfortunately my kids had a hard time accepting my husband and sometimes are being rude to him. It’s hard to for me because I don’t want to take sides. I totally understand why many men don’t want to marry single mother with kids because of these challenges especially if the kids are older then 5-6 years old.
Be an example that other people can look at and not hesitate to marry single mothers. Discipline your child and take his side in front of them please. That is horrible for a man to go through.
Do take sides. You’re doing an injustice to everyone if you don’t put your kids in their place and teach them how to respect their elders - especially one contributing to their housing and guidance, who is caring for their mother. If you two divorce because you didn’t stand up for and demand respect for your husband, then you’re at fault for making your kids go through another family division in their life and losing their stepdad and maybe having the burden of taking care of you themselves in your old age since you could end up alone. Be a responsible adult and discipline them to always have respect. Or else you’re just hurting all of you. Take this from someone who had two stepmoms who left because my sister and I didn’t respect them. I would have been better off in life if my dad told me to shut-up and behave better. You have an Islamic MANDATE to always respect your husband. This is for the good of your family.
When you marry your husband is the head of your household. He is the man you chose to lead your family. At that point your children don't get a say in the matter you made th3 decision to marry him and make him the head of your house. It is your duty as his wife to submit to his authority and ensure your children do the same.
blonde is not the preference. Men prefer women who have dark hair. So I dunno what weirdo he is talking about but Muslims have nerve to complain. Muslim women are screwed. If Muslim men right now as a collective said they will not ever marry, the only women who will be impacted are Muslim women since Muslim women can only marry Muslim men. What's also screwed up is Muslim men can marry non Muslims. Yassir Qadhi had a video where he speaks against interfaith marriages. Himmm I wonder why? could it be how many Muslim males are marrying non Muslim women, thus leaving Muslim women forever single? It's ironic how many Muslims talk about divorce rates in the West when Muslim marriage is in crisis.
People are babied too much now a days. The Western view of keep them young for as long as you can, ie let them play, be carefree etc. This isn't a reality and as soon as we reach puberty we start to think more like an adult yet our carefree upbringing has spoiled us towards responsibility.
Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said: “It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) - unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)
I believe if a man was to even mention to his wife about a second wife even if its a single mother that he wouldn't mind....the first wife would either have a heart attack or she will get a divorce. So sometimes its not the men....its the first wife. So there stuck in a lose lose situation 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@MAhmed-zs2vp that's true. Im sure there are guys out there...just a minor amount. But one thing you got to keep is by the time a guy being single and ready to marry for the first time....he's already chosen a girl he's interested in and while that's happening the single mom is most likely over his age. Not that I'm saying its his fault either. He's is high school, college or university for example....its likely that he would be looking around there. In our prophets time there wasn't this type of education where guys would be men and doing menly work til as soon as they hit puberty. Now a days you become a man after your done schooling and made money and ready for marriage. There would be a higher chance to get married men to get a second wife who's a single mother. Thats were the aim should be in my opinion.
@@arashshukran8788 that's a silly assumption because how else will he explain where he is legitimately? Lie?? Have you not listened or read the Seerah of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam and the Sahaba?
Im sorry but its not the same, she has been intimate wirh another man and probably has a child. Why would i choose thst when there are many single women and a few virgins
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, recommended marrying virgin women, as Jaabir ibn ‘Abdullaah may Allaah be pleased with them narrated that he said, “I married a woman during the lifetime of the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ). I met the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) and he asked: “O Jaabir, have you married?” I said, “Yes.” He said: “A virgin or one previously-married?” I said, “A previously-married woman.” Whereupon, he said: “Why did you not marry a virgin with whom you could play?” I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have sisters; I was afraid that she might intervene between me and them.” He replied: “Then it is that (which is the correct thing to do). A woman is married for her religiousness, wealth and beauty, so you should choose the religious one; lest you lose.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim. This is the wording of Muslim] ‘Utbah ibn ‘Uwaym may Allaah be pleased with him narrated that the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Marry virgin women for they have sweeter mouths, more fertile wombs, and are more content with what is little.” [Ibn Maajah in his Sunan. Al-Albaani: Hasan] (Sweeter in mouths): It means that their mouths smell good and their saliva is sweeter. It could also mean lack of obscenity and impudence because they still maintain their bashfulness due to not mixing with men. (More content with little): It means that they are content with little expenses and sexual intercourse because they did not experience it before. As Al-Munaawi may Allaah have mercy upon him stated in Faydh Al-Qadeer, the command in the two aforementioned Hadeeths is for recommendation, not for obligation. To us, the preponderant opinion is that marrying virgin women is better in principle, based on the previously mentioned proofs. Nevertheless, the ruling could be different from one person to another, like when one has children, as was the case with Jaabir ibn ‘Abdullaah may Allaah be pleased with them. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, accepted his justification and considered it a correct decision. This may also be the case with a man who lacks the ability to deflower his wife's virginity or maybe he wants to marry a certain woman who has been previously-married due to her good religious, moral and physical characteristics, as in the case under question. Consequently, we advise the questioner to compare the consequent benefits and harms of his marriage to that woman. He should also perform the Istikhaarah (guidance) prayer, resort to Allaah The Almighty with supplication and humbleness and then proceed with that which Allaah The Almighty inclines his heart to. We ask Allaah The Almighty to guide us all to what He likes and approves. Allaah Knows best.
Tbh the single widowed women are more powerful than most of the"virgin" men these days. Infact men in general, men dont know what it means to be a man, a real man. As far as virginity goes, most men are not even virgins themself, they mess about before marriage have their fun and then go look for a virgin, like seriously the audacity to then point their finger at women! These women who put the food on the table, pay the bills, work, cook, clean, look after their children, the house and everything else in-between are superheros. I would love to see a man pull all that off and still walk with his head up high. In my opinion men are pathetic and I know alot will be offended by this but these days there's nothing a man can offer that a women can't do herself and this very fact hits the nerves for alot of men, they think they own power and authority that can't be overridden and when it does they turn bitter towards whatever it is that proves they are weak i.e divorced/widowed mum's. So to all the mum's out there, DONT let anyone put you down ever! Always keep your head up high, your more amazing than you'll ever know and remember there's a reason why Allah put jannah beneath your feet and not the feet of men!
Looks like a feminist is coping.A female with your mentality will never get married and even if they do it will be for a short time and then live the rest of life lonely and miserable.
Because everyone deserves a fresh start ! Why should I bring someone else's problems into my life ! Not doing that unless you are divorced yourself.Maybe whoever asked the question should be rephrased to " why don't divorced men marry divirced women "
@@fatimaahmed6111 every man wants to be an alpha. This doesn't mean they want to be a super villian. This means trying to be the best. Nothing wrong/insecure with that.
I think because in western culture, the alpha is the Jock or the one whos a womaniser and a bully. But of course every man should be a caring anf strong man who's protective of his people.
Honestly if these people you tell about have these unrealistic standards, and are afraid of children, we are blessed that they stay away from us single mothers.
Praises be to Allah for these videos your putting out brother. Sadly to say these brothers that say they want a wife and then put such stipulation on it and seem, not serious about marriage and probably don't need to be married. What they need to do before putting an order in is do some soul searching. I've been married 31yrs successfully praises be to the most high and I know that being married isn't always receiving, sometimes it's giving more than you take, it's having an unbreakable bond and understanding. You will see a lot of rainy days and sunshine. Sex is a very very small part of a relationship and doesn't make things right especially if you married for that If it did things wouldn't be the way they are. Know thy self
I think it's not about being afraid of children but imagine that a man has to provide for a child, that is not his and it's not permissible to act like it's his and that's why the child usually stays with the father. It's not fair to consider your child as not someone who won't be an issue at all and alhamdulillah if you find a man that has no problem with it but it's not that often. Imagine you have a son and he wants to marry. He has two options and he asks you which to pick. A non married girl or a girl who already has children.
The reality is: both single mother and married men nowadays find it almost impossible to get married again. I know many married men who are capable and are good men who wants to get married. But single mothers too have high standards. They want a single guy, with lots of money, who loves her child as his own. While she would not accept him to be married or even have his own children from previous relationship. It goes both ways. The issue is not about virgin or not. It’s about both sides having too high expectations. Not to forget most men would loose their first wife if they go for another. Lolz I know a person who had 2 wives. They all thought they had it figured out. The next day both women gave up. Now he is single from having 2 wives. Haha he lost both.
Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said: “It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) - unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)
Yeah also first wives do not accept the husband taking additional wives, which would be fine except that if you have kids, if the wives leave and take the kid(s) with them it is brutally painful. Those same type of women are unlikely to abide by fair custody and visitation agreements, nor would they allow the child(ren) to live with the father once they're old enough.
@@mon0theist_tv That's an important issue you've pointed out brother. There's a hadith that says that the Noble Prophet Pbuh said "You and your wealth belong to your father"
Salaam Alaikum... I am a 32 years old man never married before. I know a single mother of 2. She's super religious with an excellent character, morals and family background. She's got great family values and is beautiful. I wish to marry her. Before anybody comments, please read that I don't see single women as "leftovers". They ain't objects to me. I wish to receive some advice from you brother. Let me know how can I reach you.
walaykum asalal bro. If you've done istikhara, if you've spoken to an imam about it or at least to another set of parents or single parent so you know what might be expected or be given any insight, then make your move accordingly. Deen over dunya. You already know what these comment sections are like, and you already know they don't know her story or yours. So move wisely, with good intention, and in sha Allah, Allah will reveal to the both of you what is good for you, and if that is marriage, then mubarak to you both 🩵🩵
Unfortunate as it is for me to say Single mothers either from divorce or widowed or never married with kids are being preyed upon by our Muslim brothers. They don't want to marry women in this status they want to use them for their own ulterior motives. As a divorcee been divorced for 3 years now and have been approached many times in the 3 years fortunately for me I am not naive and recognize their motives on the onset so I block their approach. That's why me I stay single and I am in no hurry to feel flattered by any attention only to be disappointed when these men try their so obvious stunts. But its sad where are the genuine men. Where is their Islamic upbringing. Some women end up marrying men not from the religion as these men are willing to accept them with kids and this is the horror of these situations.
that means muslim broithers is smart. Never married have children!, nobody want that because that girl is probably a 304, naughty girl that sleep with every chad around. Only fools will take that girl
that's true. Im sure there are guys out there...just a minor amount. But one thing you got to keep is by the time a guy being single and ready to marry for the first time....he's already chosen a girl he's interested in and while that's happening the single mom is most likely over his age. Not that I'm saying its his fault either. He's is high school, college or university for example....its likely that he would be looking around there. In our prophets time there wasn't this type of education where guys would be men and doing menly work til as soon as they hit puberty. Now a days you become a man after your done schooling and made money and ready for marriage. There would be a higher chance to get married men to get a second wife who's a single mother. Thats were the aim should be in my opinion.
Because first of all it's new modern world where men aren't allowed to practice their right of multiple marriages, imagine you have a choice a virgin beautiful young women who never has been in a relation vs one who is a divorcee don't know the reason what she got divorced for not a virgin and would have trauma most probably which you will have to deal with what would you do? Who would you choose. If you are honest 99.99% man would choose a virgin. Also most Muslim women are getting divorced for useless reason nowadays, the court is highly based towards women in this economy whee Muslims women expect the men to provide and protect and do the household chores too it's impossible to raise someone else children aswell no matter if her ex husband provides for his children still you will have to provide for them. Also you will have to cope with her ex husband cuz he has to see his children and forever one way or another she will be connected to her ex husband always in some way or another so sorry women need to do better accept polygny and learn to compromise
I know someone who was a single mother with one son that took her 4 years to finally find a brother to marry and he didn’t tell his family that she had a child even after they got married…a couple of months later when the family found out they were really upset as they would rather him marry a virgin…that’s just how desperate the situation is.
@@hamaidmk not sure I follow? I think the issue is people nowadays are shallow and selfish. They judge women straight away without considering that she could be the best fit as a life partner regardless of her having a child or not
It’s not the responsibility of the second or third husband to raise her kids. Where’s the biological dad? He is still a dad despite ending the marriage to this mother. There are plenty of single moms and never married Muslim women over 30-60. They just won’t get married.
I watched another video of bro Gabriel where he bashed women who wanted to work as doing haram - many men also bashed them . Many women raised the issue about what a woman would do if the husband left her and she couldn't find for herself - no man gave any solution- now here they all are saying they are not interested in marrying divorcees- so if this women decided not to work how are they going to fend for themselves and their children ? Muslim men are telling them not to work but they are not ready ro provide for them in the case of divorce and other Muslim men are not ready to marry them - making them liabilities and you all think they would be stupid enough not to work !
How come he doesn't talk about the legal/financial risks for men in marriage? His form of "man-up" is actually "man-down". A rational male doesn't take such risks.
Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said: “It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) - unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)
@@JubairIbnOmarHamza the Hadith was for a specific sahaba. I see you post a lot on here with ignorance. What I mean by ignorance is a complete lack of haya, interrogating sisters on their personal matters and then judging their aqeedah and asking what they didn't do xyz. You're not a faiqh, alim or anything.
Don't forget that western men will date those woman first without marrying them and after a few months or years after making sure she is able to pair bobd and she's the right fit for him, they will marry them so it's really different than Muslims who who can date or sleep with women before marriage. So you're comparison bro is unfair. So many Muslim men don't wanna take that risk to marry a single mothers or divorcee, specially that men have to pay Mahar (dowry). So it's really a financial risk. So please don't push the men to do something that they don't want.
Thank you so much for bringing this topic to light, it is indeed a HUGE PROBLEM. Hopefully the brothers take heed, and also sisters are more lenient towards polygamy
Part of the problem is definitely the mixing of two systems. The Western and Islamic. Now in the Islamic system, the children stay with the biological father. He looks after them financially and otherwise. The mother has visitation rights. ( in an ideal set up, she can spend as much time with the children as possible) Now this also means that the mother is free, unburdened & can on some level almost operate as a single woman. Making her a much more attractive proposition to an interested man ( who knows that the children are with the biological father, they are not a financial burden to him, he doesn't have to be their primary father figure, and so on) Once the mother marries a new husband, there is then room for mercy, bonding, and an opportunity for him to build a relationship with the children. The key is to pick one system.... or the other. Now what happens is the mother picks the western system, when she wants to keep the kids ( becoming the primary care giver, reducing her autonomy to act as a single woman), then the Islamic system when she wants to get married. ( wanting the new husband to take full responsibility for the family - including becoming the primary father figure and financial support to the children of her ex husband) This places a burden on the parties coming together in marriage. Often once marriage is entered into ample room for mercy and love slowly opens up.
single mothers bring a lot of trauma with them. they gave their best years to a guy and gave him the honor of bearing his offspring. now she for some reason could not make the marriage work, so she is now single. Then a guy, who studies hard, works hard on his purpose, disciplined and focused, has to risk everything for a single mother who could be good or not. why risk it when there are several women who make better decisions with their lives. No body would give me their daughter when i converted because of my past, and that i understood then and now. People need to prove themselves in business, in academics, sports, competition, but why are women so reckless when it comes to marriage, and then we have to save them. i have seen too many women muslim and non-muslim distroy their own marriage and are still single today. in my opinion, and the statistics prove that women wreck their homes more often than not. Again, why risk it.
I get it. I agree. This is the cold hard truth women don't want to hear. But the brothers that are not high value like me can't be so picky. But yes I would marry a non virgin as long she is younger then me, she got intimate in a halal way,the brother she married is dead, and she has no kids (or the kids are very young). Also I don't plan on only marrying a women just from my culture (ethnic group).
Lol - some know for a fact that every single marriage that didn't work was caused by the woman? This is the delusion and arrogance a lot of you have that is destroying d community . Which is why women just ignore you and do what's best for themselves. I can imagine how terrible it would be to have to rely on fickle , biased minded people like you - You will lay the blame for every problem on ur wife .
You are so full of yourself to blame the women - the men are to blame for the breakup and failure of a marriage - i would not give you my daughter because you are mindless and lack in intelligence with your ignorant rant - guys like you are the problem - Sounds to me you have a sore chip on your shoulder and carrying so much luggage - you are not even a real Muslim to even put your ignorant 2 cents in !
What an incredible video. Masha'Allah! The advice given is truly wonderful. May Allah preserve you for sharing such valuable guidance. After my divorce with my first wife, I made the decision to marry a divorcee four years ago. Since then, I have lovingly taken care of her and her four children. I am truly grateful for the abundant blessings that have come into my life. Allah's mercy towards His servants is truly indescribable.
I can tell you why! Mostely the man takes the second to run a way of house with childeren and a bissy mother who needs help,he Married to please him self not to take responsebilty, للاسف
@@JahannamHellfire If that's true, so what? Are you a man and do you know how it is to be a man? Imagine your first wife is exhausted with work at home and is so stressed that she's not in the mood like she used to be and then husband comes to her. It will feel like a chore for her and won't be pleasant but when the man has a second wife, he will engage with her in the meantime and give the first wife some rest. Alhamdulillah Allah gave the women a blessing, an ease and yet some still complain.
thanks for talking about this, few talk about this. It's sad many muslim single mothers who cannot feel like a women and be intimate with a man sinply because they were divorced. InshAllah people will start to see the good in these women. But on the flip side a complain to women teh feministic type out there, specially if they are very good looking they want the best looking guy or richest man and they they keep searching until they are in their in mid 30's and now they are ready to compromise when its too late (This is more with those with weaker imaan)
My wife have been looking for a single mother or widow for me but we are not able to find one as they don't want to end up in polygamous marriage. May Allah guide us all. Women usually prefer to stay single than become a second wife. This is situation limited to Toronto, Canada. Not sure about other places.
@@abshirhersi2941 SubhanAllah, i wish there was a medium to connect these sisters with pious brothers so that children can have a father and teacher in the world of fitna.
@Daniel Nelson yes, the law is all ok with ADULT making their personal choices such as homosexuality or maintaining polyamorous relationships but have problems those ADULTS practice polygyny. Indeed it's a clear proof that is law of shaitaan which specifically targets whats permissible in Islam leaves of all other haraam to ne permissible.
For me psychologically it would be too big a jump going from single to married with two kids overnight... Ofcourse theres other reasons too but this is one reason why its not a good idea to marry a single mother
That is extremely rare in Western countries. Simply because in order to have multiple wives in Western countries (where living costs is higher), the only men capable of practicing polygamy are high value men ie. The top 10% of men. For the vast majority of people this is not going to happen. The exception to the rule doesn't make it the rule.
2:04 the hadith was about jabir radiallahu anhu.He was 18 at that time , so rasulluallah sallallahu alaihassalam instructed him to marry someone at same age.....
@@jx1586 You know that the prophet himself got married to Khadija who was married before, right? and she was elder then him?,, so it doesn't proove that men should marry only virgins,, There is also a hadeeth whch encourages marriage to divorcees and widdows,, and at our prophets time the women got married very easily again,, because this thinking and negative judgment didn't existed,,, when 2 good people couldn't go along because their personalities clashed,, they seperated and got married to other people with whim they got along very well
After 5 yrs of being single mother I finally found my forever other half, young guy never married the most caring and good looking man. I have witnessed that with all that time I been single and it’s just so sad that our men can fail us like that. By being a single mother you don’t choose it. It’s sad and very unfortunately that Muslim men that reject those men lost faith in Allah and the Quran. May Allah have mercy on them.
MashaAllah tabaarakAllah... alhamdulillah. Atleast I see hope now. Been seeking for very long. I'm hopeful now alhamdulillah.may Allah bless your marriage ❤️
I am an African girl and a single mum of a baby girl, growing up in my home village i would see men marring single mums and windowed and divorced,but now the lagest number of men don't want to marry these ladies anymore and i have realised is that they want to marry but you have to leave your kids don't get married with them ,i believe now that men don't want to get out of their comfort zone and raise kids as their own,there is no any woman who will leave her kids to go and get married to a man who don't want her own children. It is so hard to get a life partner and get in to married,,so so hard my people
If you ask single mother why they Are divorce they always tell that the husband is bad and make only mistakes and is a horrible Person. .. but she chooses him to marry and have a child . So there is something wrong with them. A lot of Single lothers Are Broken girls. They do everything for you until you marry them then they show their true Face. If you corekting her or the child she always going to come with the fact that you Are not the father of the child and the child is going to see that and dont treat you like the father . He never going to respekt you and the women too.
Actually the problem Is that many people Marry too soon , without knowing each other. That Is why i support the engagement ( in halal sure ) ,so that you know the Person for how really he Is cos in the beginning they are all nice.
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, recommended marrying virgin women, as Jaabir ibn ‘Abdullaah may Allaah be pleased with them narrated that he said, “I married a woman during the lifetime of the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ). I met the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) and he asked: “O Jaabir, have you married?” I said, “Yes.” He said: “A virgin or one previously-married?” I said, “A previously-married woman.” Whereupon, he said: “Why did you not marry a virgin with whom you could play?” I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have sisters; I was afraid that she might intervene between me and them.” He replied: “Then it is that (which is the correct thing to do). A woman is married for her religiousness, wealth and beauty, so you should choose the religious one; lest you lose.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim. This is the wording of Muslim] ‘Utbah ibn ‘Uwaym may Allaah be pleased with him narrated that the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Marry virgin women for they have sweeter mouths, more fertile wombs, and are more content with what is little.” [Ibn Maajah in his Sunan. Al-Albaani: Hasan] (Sweeter in mouths): It means that their mouths smell good and their saliva is sweeter. It could also mean lack of obscenity and impudence because they still maintain their bashfulness due to not mixing with men. (More content with little): It means that they are content with little expenses and sexual intercourse because they did not experience it before. As Al-Munaawi may Allaah have mercy upon him stated in Faydh Al-Qadeer, the command in the two aforementioned Hadeeths is for recommendation, not for obligation. To us, the preponderant opinion is that marrying virgin women is better in principle, based on the previously mentioned proofs. Nevertheless, the ruling could be different from one person to another, like when one has children, as was the case with Jaabir ibn ‘Abdullaah may Allaah be pleased with them. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, accepted his justification and considered it a correct decision. This may also be the case with a man who lacks the ability to deflower his wife's virginity or maybe he wants to marry a certain woman who has been previously-married due to her good religious, moral and physical characteristics, as in the case under question. Consequently, we advise the questioner to compare the consequent benefits and harms of his marriage to that woman. He should also perform the Istikhaarah (guidance) prayer, resort to Allaah The Almighty with supplication and humbleness and then proceed with that which Allaah The Almighty inclines his heart to. We ask Allaah The Almighty to guide us all to what He likes and approves. Allaah Knows best. this hadith was for everyone not just that sahabi. provide proof
I’m single never chased women and come from a “village” Islam home in the “west world”. My siblings did everything from having police raids, babies before marriage, drinking bleach too after chasing women and men. The Islamic community where I am is a very one ethnicity racist cult. Those that speak the same language as me spread lies about me, my parents turned on me for my beard as I and not chasing wealth the way to give them a name in the community. After several events given by Allah the people called me the deer and now at the age I am, many people have come to apologise and the Islamic leaders and offer me women with kids and no kids but all these women have longer turn relationships, even those that have zero kids but tens tears of marriage and five plus more before marriage. So why should I be a safety net for a woman that has had a joyful youthful time with a man? Why should I take a woman that openly said my mouth has seen things you have? Women with history and since age has got them and life style I have to be the hero. This guy in the vid may come from a good family and may married young love or a virgin but likely had a woman with energy and a decent physic now die to his profession and his forgetfulness of his youth he wants men like me to man up and take something that he should tell married men to take on another three women of the women he states. He seems to have good financial stance why does he not marry more, he can have four that have kids. Using Islam as an excuse to pressure men, not all men are the same. Chased men ante for chased women and chased women are for chased men. None Muslims and the people he called white have majority numbers that practice sex from the time of puberty. I can say so much more but my point is why are you unfair to men had your pride and ego of your job got to you that you feel you are right to address this video to men? Your perception of women is that they are weak and innocent? Crimes is upon human not gender alone! There are women in the Olympics that run faster then most men. When the Muslim people and the some mosques stop preaching dark or brown skin people are garbage and sinful creatures then polygamy would naturally reduce in a decent fraction. You can’t say Mohammed pbuh married so and so with out looking at his time before marriage, lineage plays a role bigger the job title and education as wealth of a man. Women are not forbidden to earn nor pay for a home and life style. People make babies to exercise power and have a living doll a reason for them to live everyday and stop caring and looking after themselves when babies like yourself spend more money on a wife then a mother alone on restaurants. Look further and ponder on Islamic history events before following in the same why as all media speaking individuals. Many will lead the people to hell and those followers will ask and they will reply. Are we all not the children of Adam pbuh? Save yourself from yourself!!!! When a soul leaves the flesh is called body or corpse!!!! Look at your food!!! DNA has options to turn every which way, pregnancy time effects the flesh!!!! People have much to learn but all want the same thing and games comes in all shapes and forms. Don’t be like to one with the fish!!!
@Samir why do women just want sperm and expect a man to go out there work and feed them and their needs and desires yet let himself go then she take half of everything and gets the home till the babies are adults but they ruin the babies In the western world they have boy friends as little girl so common as time is ticking I know many brother good brothers die to community forced to marry late and forced to marry divorced women even with kids and it’s a night mare for men that are virgins Why are men looked at as something evil when we look after ourselves I have learnt I can’t trust a Muslim but I can’t trust a believer. Believers are rare but Muslims are everywhere. It’s safer to trust a non Muslim and sleep in their home in peace maybe not the Jewish home
@Samir I think brothers that are good and are virgins should never marry a divorced woman widows ok but not the divorced women. Death is normal but broken glass cant be mended back together unless you melt it and reconstruct it Men raise phacked up mistake daughters and can’t wait to get rid of them just as mother and sons Fast people fast be patient don’t rush it’s not worth losing yourself the communities are fake Muslims especially the leaders it’s all about money Bukhari opening verses. Two sentences read it and read the Quran in English
i think one reason may be that psychological aspect of seeing child that is NOT their own. Every time man sees that child it may remind him that his wife had been in bed with another man.. i think that brings off traumatic feeling. Also the fact of responsibility of raising a child that is not your own turns u off cuz he is result of someone's effort n not yours n also the fear of child NOT accepting you and seeing you as his rival/evil stepfather then this creates a drama within relationship w/ his mother.. also another factor is the FAMILY of guy is less likely to accept someone's child for various reasons... it's a baggage allright....but again ISLAM is exceptional deen, all our relationships r connected w/ Allah so no good deeds gets unrewarded for the person by Allah.. So, i commend anyone who is willing to take responsiblity to care of women in need... i think if a woman is like a 10, most men would be willing to accept her. men with wealth n piety, i guess.
How is that possible? I’ve encountered conversations with many who are interested to marry single moms so I don’t know what world of people your counseling obviously their main counselor isn’t God with such mentality
Salamu alaikum, brothers do not want marry single mother because many times there are problems involved. Single mothers want to marry but they are not willing to give the children to their father once they marry. Custody should be given to the father if she marries.
BULL CRAP - CHILDREN BELONG TO THEIR MOTHERS - HOW IS A FATHER GOING TO RAISE A BABY - LEAVE IT TO THE MOTHER OR SISTER TO RAISE - PLEASE - THAT IS SUCH A LOAD OF CRAP ON YOUR PART!
@@MY-zx6lz I guess you don't care about sharia. I hope u never find a good man. I hope they cheat you and not treat you well. People like you are why I never trust wmn
It would not be legol to don't care about your child! If a man or q women stop care for their kidz then they should go jail, then it would be more responsibillity in sleeping around, just get family and runt away, kidz need their parents! Even if the parents arw devorce they should have the kidz in their house couple of times each month and comunicate!
In their eyes, the ‘first ‘man’ , allready used her up. I have asked a man this once, and this was his answer. I’m 100% sure all these men that reject widows/single moms, think alike. Not a virgin, used up, has experience so intimidated by the woman allready survived a husband and now knows what she wants (and what she doesen’t). It’s cultural offcourse. They are weak and insecure. As if the ‘men’ are virgins: give me a break. Also, I have a friend who did remary. And she had a daughter from the first marriage. She told me her second husband cant stand the daughter from that marriage. She didnt come from his seed. Like his seed is made of liquid gold or something. It’s pathetic. Children are born by the plan and will of Allah. I just got divorced and I dont want to remarry. Sometimes its better for a child not to have a father at all, then a bad one. Zina, gambling, drinking, not fasting.. I dont want to keel running around a boy for the rest of ny life. Paying rent on my own, paying for groceries and everything else. What is his use? Might as well do jt alone. Seemed he was more dependant on me and my money then the other way around.
Calling men weak in order to get them what you want ?? No body is intimated by women at all. There no benefit for men by dating a single mother. She does not bring anything special but baggages emotionally and financially
In islam we are not responsible for step kids. So, nothing wrong in not wanting a child which is not from a man's seed or a woman's womb. Don't shame ppl if they don't want adopted kids. Are u going to marry a single dad? And it is not about the seed being of liquid gold or sth. It is normal to want a biological child.
I'm 22 years old born muslim Lives in Istanbul, Turkiye. I'm trying to marry widow/divorced or revert but most of them are older and they have problems, what should i do now. I want to do it for the Sake of ALLAH SWT
you are young DONT DO IT. Prophet says marriage is half of religion so if you married a virgin you already do half of the religion thats enough deed. Also with virrgin you can teach/guide them toward goodness and save them from fallen to a bad chad or tyrone which is also a GREAT deed in itself. thirdly the prophet envisage sahaba to marry a fresh woman. If you want super great extra deed more than that dont do it by marry a divorcee, but marry an nice orphan girl!!. you get all the best deed according religion and a rather fragile woman who want love so much
Widowed, divorced or single fathers should marry widowed, divorced or single mothers. Single, never been married before men should go for a wife who had also never been married before first, the pursue a divorced, widow or single mothers for their 2nd, 3rd or 4th wives. The reason is this. Marriage is expensive. As a person who has never been married before, marriage is often a once in a life time thing. So they're hedging their bets on a person they will spend their lives with and not end in divorce and with a kid. Women dictate the cost of marriage, they make it expensive. If you want men to marry divorced women and single mothers, make marriage affordable! Secondly, marrying a divorced women or a single mother, you're filling in someone's shoes and already have to meet expectations. Whereas marrying a women who's never been married before, you learn as you go. Its easier. Divorced women and single mother who want to get married, make marriage easy! Single mothers will always have their commitment to their child, and not to their husband. Men don't want to raise another mans offspring by force. We will always know its not our kid and will have difficulty raising it properly. A lot of these women complain, saying the men at the prophets time married women who were divorced, widowed or single mothers. But marriage back then was easier, much more affordable and less hassle compared to now. Also, polygyny was commonly practiced. Yet these same women would be hell bent against polygyny, or even making their marriage affordable or easy.
one important thing you might have missed comparing muslim brothers who would come next day and tell you they think it doesn't fit with non muslims who married someone with children ... most likely that muslim brother has never touched a woman in his life while the non muslim and his current wife probably have been fooling around all their life before they finally decided to get married, or even are still fooling around. not that there is something with marrying someone with children, but your example is totally biased and not really representative of anything, non muslims are not really to be an example especially when it comes to marriage and a family... they are by a very far margin a total mess.
Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said: “It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) - unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)
Yes I am a woman and I agree. Of someone Is Virgin he has right to have that romantic experience with a woman Who Is Virgin. But the issue Is not even divorced guys or poligamous guys are willing to Marry them.
Oh please - just like these men are smoking virgins- alcohol virgins - oral sex virgins - please - we all know what they do behind closed doors and outside of their towns and villages - behind their wife's backs - all is good if they repent so they can go out and do it all over again - I know many Muslim and non-Muslim men that are secretive with their hidden way of life!
Bro women will not marry a man who's not rich , will not marry a man who's struggling with some health issue or addiction and that's ok women have the right to be picky, but if women are not ready to be geneours to below average men and women's preferences in marriage are good and ok , then why are above average men's personal preferences in marriage are bad and men should be the generous ones and do the hard work for others , If I'm a Good a Man in a good financial level and form and shape still young , then I too have my terms and conditions I don't want an obese women I don't want single mom I don't want an ugly women and I'm ready to stay single for ever if I don't find what I want , why are women peferances celebrated and men's preferances discouraged ? Women are not the only ones to set terms for marriage
I’m single(never married). I am open to any woman who was married or not married. In the case of divorced/widow with children, I would prefer one child less than 3 years old. If she is around 25 or less, it would be a great option for me
assalamualaikum raising someone elses child is not easy, not every man who wants polygamy can do thaty, may be can hamdle another wife but to discpiline the children is not easy. Also a man can rent a flat for and extra wife and she comes with her rizq so he might be able to cater for her but children someone else's may go over his budget. Most of the currnet day ulama that have spoken about this have said it is better to relinquish the children if they are th cause pof the sister not being able to marry. And Allah knows best
When marrying a pure woman, meaning virgin, you marry a pure of heart, mind, soul, character, meaning you marry yourself. But when you marry the devirginized woman you are getting trouble sooner or later, in many aspects in life 😇
I would say untainted- I’m sure that divorce is low in cases where we as a society respect ... no sex before marriage. Too many kids without love and unfit parents, how can any woman raise a boy to be a man??? She can’t, a woman is not designed for turning a boy into a man.
Virgin doesn't mean all good. Whether Virgin or not deen comes first. If she have good character and deen then definitely she is who makes your life better. But when she don't have good character and deen then she makes life very difficult. ( same to non-virgin)
this is not for all men only small can afford, some women now a days are independent they don't need men support financially, only need to complete there religion.
would love to play the hero but single mothers now are entitled and treat you like a mule and as soon as you slip up or not accommodating her and the child to her liking she will leave why because she already left the father of her child what make’s you special
Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said: “It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) - unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)
Unfortunately many Muslim men are raised to look down on divorcees and women with children. They're raised entitled and selfish. I'm Arab and was once a divorcee with a kid and experienced this nonsense. I truly believe if you strive to do the right thing for Allah's sake he will make a way out for you despite how impossible it looks. Trust Allah always. I know of many women divorced widowed and they remarried Muslim men who accepted them.
@@truthexposed839 Well she needs to give him a male role model, I personally would send my son back to his dad's just before puberty, same if I had a girl. I know this from personal experience.however that's not all aways possible, if the ex husband is incapable, you néed to find a substitute.
The problem is not like single mothers can't find a husband, there are a lot of none Muslim men out there who marry single mothers, the problem is that the Muslim women is restricted to only Muslim men. That's a big issues
Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said: “It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why not a virgin whom you could play with and she could play with you?’ (agreed upon) - unless there is a reason for which marrying a previously-married woman is better, in which case he should choose such a woman over a virgin, in order to serve that interest.”(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)
@Black Roses When the Prophet (pbuh) married Khadija (ra), there was no Prophethood or Islam. Please do not bring pre-Islamic information to make a point.
Assalomu alaykum! Jazakallahu khair! I'm single Muslim man. Virginity of my future partner is not required but it is way better. Main required things are her deen, akhlaq ( character ), beauty ( the beauty which i found attractive because beauty is very relative. I may found some girl beautiful while somebody thinks she is not that much beautiful). I think it is way better she to be never married before because i have had not married before.
The thing is we are living in different times and many Muslims man chooses what is more easy. And that doesn't letvthem to grow as a man. Muslims man doesn't take the teaching of their own prophet and that's sad. I think the teaching are being corrupt. They prefer to married 14 , 15 , 17 , 18 ,20 , 21. And the single mother? That's why their are so many divorce in Islam, because first mostly married without love or only for material things.
I understand if we have war and as a result of that a large number of single mothers. But many Westerner countries have a lot of single mothers and there is no war. Just welfare only. How and why in many Western countries we have so much single mothers and Muslim are not the exception.
Because men don’t understand rights of women too.. they are me me me.. bored Muslim wanting to marry again fail to do justice.. those having 3-4 wives will belittle them.. they think single childless women are coachable.. it can still go wrong how women have their own rights, strengths, big families add more blessings, etc.
Single mom tend to be serial divorcer (1st). Single mom tend to prioritize their child, herself, cat, hobby, family then the man (2). Woman choose the man so means single mom tend to interested to wrong type of man that divorce her so early (3). If the woman is singlemom because she is dumb and all nafs his previous husband predictably a thugs that will give you unnecessary trouble (4). The burden of someone else kid he must educate and take care while the kids probably already traumatize by the divorce or completely hates you (5). Some single mom have rob half of the property of their husband and will compare what her former husband give and what the new husband could give and complete disrespect if the newer husband give less (6). Some singlemom divorced because they are borderline or narcissist crazies (7). All the disadvantage, possibility of harm, Zero benefit
@@sunnyraindrop582 bluepill simps will call this stupid, sloppy second woman who still preying for rich man will call this stupid, still self repecting logical man would avoid single mom for at least few of those reasons
You are going to deal with the baby daddy ... baby daddy drama. Most single mothers likes drama it gives them meaning or power or some form of attention. Good single mothers are excluded from my comments. May God or Allah bless you guys further. Have a blessed day.
@@AH--173 What wrong did she say? And in islam it is not an obligation to marry single parents. Plus, she said, she has excluded good single mothers from her comments.
@@sophiesumleen7872 Thank you for understanding Mr/Mrs/Miss ID fifty four I appreciate your comments. Highly appreciate it. I always treat people the same respect like they treat me. No one is perfect ... But God, RA, Set, Allah, or any Figure of Gods. But we cannot lie to ourselves. We need to face reality as well. There are good single mothers, and also good single fathers or good bisexual or transexual or gay or lesbians single parents as well. But the those single parents that keeps making the same mistakes over and over again due to social circumstances or emotional distress or any forms of trauma I'm speaking about such situations. If I have offended any single parent due to my comments then I would like to apologize towards them. I'm so sorry. But some woman or men ... I'm sorry to say this will not marry some (I say this with up most respect) single parents. Unfortunately its also their right as well. Whether we like it or not. I will say this one more time. Good single parents are excluded. May God bless you 77 times 7 Only blessings for you guys. But dealing with baby mommy or baby daddy drama some women or some men wont tolerate that. My apologies once more. Have a lovely day. God bless, especially if you have kids.
The comments in this video shows you the ignorant and the ego most Muslim men suffer from.! No one is forcing you to marry a single mom or rise their children.It’s so sad that most men in the comments took this brother’s message to another direction. Grow up .
Why would a Man marry a woman with kids?? or divorced?? Did you?? Don't ask other Men to pick up the responsibilities of other Men if you didn't? My culture doesn't allow for a Man to marry a divorced woman or with kids unless it is an act of charity; but otherwise, 99% require a chaste, woman. Single mothers and divorced women are not desirable unless a Man wants used goods.
@@elegancepublicschool8191 I would make accommodations if she was a widow. Even with kids..depending upon her Deen, but an unchaste first bride or a divorced woman are NO.
because we men became more and more insecure and doubtful about our sexual capabilities and we are terrified to be compared to someone else that could be stronger than us in this department, our head has been fed haraam things and garbage so we started thinking like this, and this very same way of thinking led us to insecurity more and more.. it's is a vicious circle that can be broken only improving ourselves and throwing behind our back false and debasing views on sexual life and relationships
I agree with you bro a lot of men will deny this but really it's all to do with deep seated insecurities that a lot of Muslim men suffer from. My dad mentioned the older generation of men had less issues with marrying widowed or divorced women.
Not one person picked their parents or begged to be here. This is so sad 😞 We’re made in pairs but there aren’t enough men to pair with. A lot of shallow selfish males out there, it sounds like. When there isn’t a spouse for any of them, what is the solution? What do they do? Live, lives of loneliness just simply exist I guess.
What do you mean? Same could be said about women. The reason why you don't find a high quality man is because the high quality man does not want you. Why? Because you're a low quality woman. To find a high quality man you need to be a high quality woman yourself first. And than look for high quality men.
@@ColonelFluffles No factor, you are of no factor to me. Keep your comments to yourself. Mine your own comments not mine. You don’t know if me I don’t care to know you.
I totally understand why most single men who’ve never been married prefer to marry virgin women, or at least women without children. Marrying a divorced person typically does come with baggage, whether you admit it or not and if they have children it’s even more baggage you’re forced to deal with and a headache on top of that. Childless women generally also want childless men as well btw, virgin women want virgin men. I’ve never been married before, and I don’t think I would ever consider marrying a man with kids unless my options have dramatically decreased and I literally have no other choice. I’m 22 now and I don’t have any kids . Why would I choose to get stuck taking care of another woman’s children instead of my own. My first option will always be a virgin man whose first time getting married is with me so that we can experience life, love and joy TOGETHER. I don’t want someone who’s already experienced marriage, sex and kids with another woman. Maybe I would consider them in a rare occasion, but again it wouldn’t be my first choice. I’ve waited a long time, i want the same out of my partner. Inshallah Allah grants me a spouse who is the same as me I don’t think it’s messed up at all to have that preference and it’s perfectly reasonable and makes sense, as long as you are bringing the same to the table. To those who want to take on somebody with children, good for them. Nothing wrong with it at all. But they shouldn’t be forced into it either, or shamed for not wanting to do so.
@@Alexander44665bruh why now days muslim man and women's are so into sex, remarry, divorces, widows😂😂😂😂 iam laughing because most man marry a woman younger than him so technically she will be a widow ,, just image a man loved his wife for 30+ years and died, after sometime wife gets remarried and had sex with another man 😢😢how would I feel u may ask I see it disgusting that another man is fcking my wife and inseminating her and taking all my asset like my lovely children, house ever thing
Dear sister if you want to be valued, love yourselves first, have professional development in place and whatever Allah has written for you will come to you without issue. I am widowed, young woman and Allah blessed me with two beautiful children 🧒. Alhamdulilah it makes me laugh when I hear from a brothers Oh "you wanted be married like virgin" I say to them nothing is free dear Muslim brother and they should look for a free wife with knowledge of Deen and Dunya. Unfortunately like the brother said there are women who are stable in finance and yet brothers don't want to marry. My opinion is not about finance, beauty and being virgin its about woman valuin herself. #single mothers widowed and never married ladies.
If you're encouraging a woman to become established in career, I'll tell you right now that most men don't care about your career if you are a woman. In fact it makes you less appealing. Women who strive for financial security before marriage usually have one foot in the marriage and one foot out. Stay single.
I have a child from a marriage and divorce (he was unfaithful) before I reverted. My second child is from marriage with a Muslim man who left me while pregnant, alone with my first child in a foreign country where I knew only one other person. Some of us women have been tested again and again. Pointing fingers and assuming she has standards too high is shameful. What men don't understand is a woman who's been married knows what to expect and how to share a life and home with a man. Realistic expectations are not common among young couples. We have requirements based on experience and a great deal of hurt we healed from. I get so much push back for the simple requirement of a spouse already being a resident of my country. Such a basic thing. Subhan Allah that I have good family and friends in my life and the strength to care for my children alone.
You carry no blame for 2 men leaving you. The first guy cheated because you weren’t being intimate enough with him. Second guy left you because he seen something that put him off enough to just leave you. May be look in the mirror and take responsibility instead of crying about it on social media.
