WHY I DON’T want kids-ACCORDING TO MY THERAPIST🫣

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4 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 64

@str0wb3rry9irl 4 месяца назад

My therapist told me I raised my mother. I was just telling my bf the other day how I’m tired of being emotionally responsible for her. Spent my life dialing my own emotions back because she’s so neurotic.

@pabloescobarschanclas 4 месяца назад

now that’s deep.

@jacqueline4749 4 месяца назад

I was the same way. ❤ My mother would dump all her issues on me.

@str0wb3rry9irl 4 месяца назад

Had my son in January 💞

@alle9457 4 месяца назад

I'm in a similar situation... Sometimes she just unnecessarily stresses me out when she's actually okay and doesn't care at all when I'm going through something

@sabsmcdabs7139 4 месяца назад

Same for me. It's exhausting to raise a parent and be their emotional support. I have my pets and that's where I am in life. It's less chaotic than what I grew up in

@winning3329 4 месяца назад

I became a single mother because I trusted men and my family was too busy bullying me and mistreating me instead of teaching me to value myself and how to vet men.

@Self-helper415 4 месяца назад

That’s rough

@chelseamiracle128 2 месяца назад

I can relate - my family was like why this one? Meanwhile they beat me down all the time my whole life….

@Naturefan354 11 дней назад

"I TRUSTED MEN"? Correction.... *YOU TRUSTED THE WRONG MEN*

@noname-of2yl 4 месяца назад

I’ve seen the term ‘enmeshment’ used for that and that’s def the case w my single mother and me. Also don’t want kids. See what she went through - no thank you!

@nastycrafter4640 4 месяца назад

First therapist - You wanted to live your own life. Nothing wrong with that. Second therapist - You seem to not want to be tied down with a man or a child. Third therapist - You're afraid of the responsibility.

@carlahaiduk1878 3 месяца назад

Why would you want this responsability? I am afraid of it. Terrified. I don't want it and there is nothing wrong with that.

@charlieamy2279 4 месяца назад

It’s as if we’re already exhausted having to parent the “parent” AND our own damn selves, why the hell would we want to do it all over again after having to do it as a child with one parent which is too much already, some of us TWO parents AND THEN our own selves. We saw the struggle and the toxicity and we’re not stupid nor lost at all for choosing to go a different route in our own ways of seeking healing and peace. Why is that so wrong, selfish, taboo or hard to understand? Its not. It’s crazy how many parents are regretful after having kids because they listened to society not themselves.

@amygalvin1799 4 месяца назад

Makes complete sense! Also, not everyone should or needs to have kids and you never should have to defend your choice.

@AFFTFOMSICHTS 4 месяца назад

My therapist told me my dad was my man and that’s why I have commitment issues 😂😂😂 so I hear ya

@jesswarner3254 4 месяца назад

Was not ready to hear this phrased in such a straight forward but accurate way

@mana-uv7cz 4 месяца назад

Yes I was raised by a single mom and it’s scary for me to think about kids but just in the sense that I am afraid I will be in the same situation

@LoveandMisses 4 месяца назад

Too close..the mother leans on her child in a wrong way.

@heathercurry2265 4 месяца назад

Whoa. Never thought about it that way. I was so mature at a young age and desired to be an adult a very long time before I was even close. Gramma said I was 16 when i was born. Single mom since I was 7. She remarried when I was 17. Oldest of 3. I didn't want kids until I was getting close to 30 and my husband's cousins were having babies. I am a mom... Somewhat successfully! He is special needs. Before I even knew that, I could only handle the one child. I am on my fourth serious relationship (second marriage). The others did not end because of me, honestly... One of the men passed away, but it wasn't a healthy relationship. I credit my very close relationship and leaning on Jesus to the success I am currently experiencing! So fulfilling! It can be done with a healthy man (the monogamy and loyalty). Caring for a helpless child that is a part of you is VERY different than being the emotional support for a parent. I hope that you will have or build on your relationship with Jesus and you're able to have a healthy family one day! ❤

@RangaRussian 4 месяца назад

Holy 🤯! This perfectly sums it up. I guess I was practically married to my single mum too. Oh god 😱

@dp1202 4 месяца назад

Makes since same with my mom. Its a very convoluted co dependent relationship.

@1984watchr 4 месяца назад

I think what shallon is really saying is that she doesn't have a viable option to procreate with and have it be a success. She wants to be a parent, I have a suspicion, even if it's just founded on a biological urge / clock ticking, and she just doesnt want to repeat the cycle of being a single parent. I get it. I tried to force a marriage that had little hope of ever working out, but i think we both subconsciously were doing it because we had no other viable options and wanted to procreate. Its crazy. Im glad shallon can see her options in life are unlimted and shouldnt be decided by hormones or societys *norm.* live your life girl. Trust me. Youre close to my age and i have an 11 year old now. I couldnt imagine going back into it with a newborn knowing what I know now ith experience. Live your dreams, and fill your life with love and blessings 🙌 and ❤️ happiness are yours always 💖 whether a child wnds up being a part of that plan or not. Make yourself happy. Dont go into it with rose colored glasses. A child won't fill out a pre-existing void. It will just compicate things if you try to force it.

@Sorciere27 4 месяца назад

This makes a lot of sense!! and we also had to emotionally grow faster!!!

@winxclubstellamusa 4 дня назад

I was also in that dynamic with my mother despite her being married to my father! Emotional incest doesn’t only happen when the woman is unmarried or otherwise single.

@Vintagecherry91 26 дней назад

I inadvertently became a single parent recently. And while it's super hard, it's showing all the ways I never want to be like my parents. My mom was a bit highstrung and it messed me up ha

@leeche87 4 месяца назад

Stop explaining yourself ,it makes this decision look like it's not valid enough without explanation . Having kids is just hard hard work that doesn't pay off anymore for somebody like you in this day and age. Problem of explanation solved.

@semirag7208 4 месяца назад

Thank you!

@jacqueline4749 4 месяца назад

Wow!!! This makes sense now. Totally makes sense.

@cataboss8288 2 месяца назад

It happens with big families the older kids raise the younger ones and some burn out.....

@EllaBella-ke8os 4 месяца назад

I feel this.

@johannalehtinen9256 2 месяца назад

Also the very manipulative men seem to almost always be of single mothers.

@candicelehman4907 4 месяца назад

Look on the bright side; it sounds like she’s a pretty great partner.

@erikagough683 4 месяца назад

See i dont think this is for single parents, i think its about parents to try to be their child's bestfriend because they dont have one. I had a friend who wouldnt leave her house because she couldnt be away from her mom she even dropped out of hs in gr9 cus she wanted to be home with her mom

@LearnSpanishfromLocals 4 месяца назад

What a great way to explain it! My mom dating a lot helped me know that when I decided to become a mom (via a sperm bank because no husband was on the horizon and clock was tickity ticking...) that for me it was a conscious choice: have kids or have romance. My son is 7 years old, he has special needs, I am beyond blessed that 1) I never, not for one second have "loneliness" or FOMO on the romance front and 2) I don't have to share my son with anyone. Why aren't single moms talking about that more? Nobody tells me what to do with my kid. I don't have to compromise about anything! I sincerely cannot imagine having the bandwidth of taking care of a husband in addition to my special needs child. I understand in theory a husband would make things easier financially but yeah... I don't think I am missing out :)

@user-et9ks5pp6e 4 месяца назад

It's not just single parents. It's any parent who turns their child into a companion/friend or even a de facto spouse (if they're divorced and/or their actual spouse fails to provide love, support, affection, etc.) I see this ALOT with my contemporaries and I'm not implying anything untoward. Your child does not exist to fulfill your psycho-social & emotional needs and if you force that upon them, they will likely grow up emotionally conflicted, resentful and, in more extreme cases, enraged. Don't do this to your child.

@kagisomogorosi8110 4 месяца назад

Everyone married to their mother, please raise our hands!😂😮

@Nwaina 4 месяца назад

Im married to my mum too n I’m disgusted with myself

@minkorrh 4 месяца назад

But society "Yeah woohoo single moms rock!" We all know that isn't true.

@PuddilyOops 4 месяца назад

All only children are weird. We can’t help it it’s just how we are. Anytime I hear someone talking about their weird quirks and hang ups and then I hear “only child” I’m like, yup. I get it. Even if it’s totally different from my own weird hang ups I still get it.

@averystewart3117 3 месяца назад

So Shallon, when you say she’s here and you can’t talk too loud… Are you referring to your therapist your mother or your child?

@Vintagecherry91 26 дней назад

Haha she means her mom

@bs6940 4 месяца назад

Population collapse

@PuddilyOops 4 месяца назад

Yeah but is that a bad thing?

@Noone-wi1ul 4 месяца назад

This is so odd. I don’t know any single mother who was raised by her kids or behaved as though she was married to her children, aside from drug addicts and alcoholics. The average single parent is a hardworking person who operates in a parental role just as anyone else. If you raised your mother, it had nothing to do with her marital status and everything to do with her character deficits. However you appear to be lying, so I’m sure this is all made up for attention.

@celebritytarotreading3545 4 месяца назад

She was not only a single mom, Shallon's dad also committed suicide.

@Noone-wi1ul 4 месяца назад

@@celebritytarotreading3545 Unfortunately suicidality is increasingly high amongst various populations. Many children have a parent who ended their own life and they don’t turn into deceitful, attention seeking oddballs like this gal.

@toddfauster6111 4 месяца назад

God doesn't want you to be a parent...you don't have the strength

@erikagough683 4 месяца назад

Nothing to do with single parents has everything to do with over love bombing parents.

@flamingo2603 4 месяца назад

Nobody gives a 💩 if you want kids or not

@Cthomp91 4 месяца назад

Oh wow, she’s still on the Internet.

@wilchil5433 4 месяца назад

Why wouldn’t she be

@agirlhasnoname1472 4 месяца назад

You too apparently 😂

@Cthomp91 4 месяца назад

@@agirlhasnoname1472 Oh wow. Sick comment. Riveting.

@Cthomp91 4 месяца назад

@@wilchil5433 she is infamous for being cancelled for purposely spreading gossip and lies about celebrities online. Her persona was the girl that knew everything about everyone. When it was just bullshit. She would then threaten people who called her out. Happened about 4 years ago.

@agirlhasnoname1472 4 месяца назад

@@Cthomp91 then let her be why are you in her shorts writing paragraph essays 😂😂