WHY I DON'T IDENTIFY AS NON-BINARY (ft. ASH HARDELL) 

Do you identify as non binary? Chase: *car screech sound*😆🌈 Me as an individual that used to identify as gender queer and now identifies as trans masculine: I relate to this whole video

The middle of the middle of the middle

"I'm not non-binary, I'm not binary" I feel so validated! That's how I feel! I have been questioning my gender for SO long and had an epiphany when you said that. Thank you for unintentionally putting how I feel into words ❤

in my heart i'm nonbinary but on the streets i settle for androgynous since my language doesn't have neutral pronouns and i live in an extremely transphobic country. videos like this are so validating and interesting and i wish i could have these conversations myself. you two consistently make me feel less lonely and weird, thank you!

"I am old." Oh honey, no you're not.

I identified as genderfluid for a while before I was comfortable with calling myself trans (not saying being genderfluid is a phase) and I'm still feeling like there is something in me that is not 100% binary but saying I'm a trans guy feels a lot more comfortable for me. Like Chase said, it's not because of stigma or anything, it's just a word that feels right

Oh, I love you both so much and LOVE this dialogue!!! ❤

The true binary: hunty and hunted

Every time "NOT binary" was said, I saw nuts in my head. "NUT binary" 🥜🌰 😂

Ash: So it is like the middle of the middle of the middle of the middle? Chase: Yes exactly! Me: What?

As a cis woman it's hard for me to understand all this, how you guys feel, and all the nuances with all those different words. What I get from watching your channel, is simply this (as you said a few times): you do you. And I'll address to you the way you want to. As simple as that! I don't need to 100% understand (how could I, I'm not in your shoes, and never went through these identity questions myself). But watching these kind of videos just helps me remind myself that a lot of different people exist, everyone is valid, and all we need is respect for each other :)

The fact that Ash said “I will turn you into a non-binary one day” is really odd and makes me uncomfortable

I identify as a non binary trans boy because I feel totally gender neutral but I'm confortable with being seen as a boy. I use male pronouns in French and am out as a trans boy. I started by identifying as non binary and then more and more trans guy because that's my everyday experience even tho that's not my gender feeling. I'd say I would not be confortable being considered as just non binary because I don't want people to think I'm as far/close to be a woman than to be a man. I'm not. (I know non binary doesn't mean that but other people think of it as neither or both male and female most of the time, and that's absolutely not what I'm living)

I love when Ash, Chase and/or Aaron are in videos together, it's like watching a casual conversation between friends.

The way Chase described holding space for nonbinary identity in the future is kinda how I feel about potentially about identifying as a Demiguy or a nonbinary trans guy.

"I'm asexual." "Cool. You do you." "...I see what you did there."

My boyfriend is technically pansexual and when I brought it up he was just like "meh. Imma stick with bi." so after that I thought about it a lot because as a panromantic asexual/greysexual I've never felt comfortable but I had stuck with it bc _technically_ that's what I am. And now I just consider myself as a bisexual person with a flexible sex drive. And I'm really pissed off at expectations towards binary gender expression but regarding *my own* gender expression I just _can't_ think of it as anything but binary. So I'm a trans man and I struggle with masculine gender expression a lot because even though I am masculine WAY MORE than feminine and _theoretically_ feel comfortable with both sides... I sometimes get annoyed about my feminine tendencies. And I'm working hard to turn that off because it's *_BS_* in every aspect.

I love both of you so much! I also love how Chase’s hair matches his shirt!

I love your collabs, keep ‘em coming! 🤩

I've been thinking about this kind of thing a lot lately. How two people with identical gender feels can have completely different identities. It's definitely helped me stress out less about finding my specific identity and focus more on trying to do what makes me feel comfortable. 💖🧡💛💚💙💜

Chase I love how non-judgementally you can analyse your own thoughts. Looking at yourself as a dynamic being who's identity is made up of past experience as well as how you feel inside is awesome, raw and just straight up real.

"Its your squiggle!" XD the smile on Ash's face made me giggle. Love videos of you two! :D

I love when you and Ash collab , Awesome video!

This was so interesting and I'm so glad you folks got together to make this video:)

Yes ! Was waiting for this!

Its hard for me sometimes, bc sometimes I experience chest dysphoria and sometimes I don't (I'm AFAB), and in those times that I don't, I feel like a fraud. I plan on buying a binder but I'm kind of afraid ill either end up never using it or seem to fake? bc, i don't necessarily identify as trans or as cis? and I have no intention of asking to use different pronouns bc I usually don't care what people use ( though it does feel kinda awesome to be mistaken as a dude, again I'm still complacent in being seen as a "girl"). I really wish i could be on some binary instead of this grey- area i feel like. Does anyone else feel like this or similarly?

Amazing collab!

AWESOME!!!

🎵”Why don’t you just meet me in the middle” 🎶 I’ll go home now

I love this video! Also chase, love your shirt!

I love this video. I love seeing how you describe your identity and why and what that means to you, and it’s great seeing you both talk about Nb and what that can mean to other people

It is so cool to sit in on your conversations! Two of my favourite RU-vid humans. I think what I really took away from this is that I loved your discussions, I agreed completely, and for myself I am definitely a binary cis female who is so into learning how others experience their sense of self! You both have really inspired me to be mindful of inclusive language in whatever I'm doing. Thanks!! 💕

this video was so good for me. for the past year I've been in a constant state of struggling with my identity. this video put so much into words that I'm not sure I could've done on my own. I feel this so much and it feels good to know that I CAN actually feel this way. like in a sense its revealing that I'm "allowed" to identify like this. not exactly the same of course, every ones identity is different, but mine is defiantly similar. thank you so much your content has been so helpful to me.

I needed this!

I literally spent that whole video trying to figure out which one of them is taller xD What quality time spent

I absolutely LOVE it when you two are together in a video!!!

2:20 that's how I feel about the label pansexual. It is technically correct to call me pan (attracted to all genders) but I identify as bi

I was trying to explain my gender to my cishet math nerd friend and I did do the line but I am off somewhere over there thing. And he was immediately like "oh! So your gender is on the complex plane :) ". So thanks math, that is exactly it!

Yay another video, I don't think I've been so early x Love you hunties ❤️❤️ Loving the pink hair by the way ❤️😍

I was eating dates as Ash was saying "eat a date", whaaaaaat. (great video btw!)

This was such fun to watch, please continue making collaborations. With my identity and the words I use to describe my gender, it feels some things are lost in translation. The youtube lgbtq+ community is in English and for a long time information on trans people was not available in my mother tongue which made it hard to find the terms for myself. But of late I've felt comfortable with the word 'muunsukupuolinen' which means 'other gender'. That word has some similarity to non-binary but isn't the exact equivalent. Ash, your book has been a great help in learning about different genders and also a confusing read. Chase, I don't remember why I started following your channel (I guess some part of me has for long known I'm trans) but you are truly a great inspiration.

I’m just gunna leave this here to see what others think: Unpopular opinion : gender is not a social construct However!!!!! Gender ROLES are social constructs

Oh My Gosh. This makes so much sense to me. I never thought that anyone else felt this way. Thank you so much for making this video.

MY TWO QUEENS!! I love you two and all you do for everyone and all you've done for me

You just put into words EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL LIKE! Thank you so much :)

Gah! YES! so much of this makes sense! The middle of the middle of the middle. I watch a lot of both of your videos and it's like having a conversation.

"I'm so happy I'm not a confused 15 year old anymore" me, a confused 15 year old kinda sorta binary trans guy: HELP ME

This is almost exactly me. I originally identified as 'gender neutral' (so non binary) but as I started binding and doing 'trans male' stuff I just went to male. I currently say male-ish or trans-masculine, but I feel weird with the term non-binary for myself (again not because I see it as bad, literally all my other irl trans friends are enby) as a singular label, though I will use it as a tool to help describe my gender in more detail. Possibly because I only feel comfortable with male pronouns (they/them is okay at a push but please don't try to use hey/them, it just doesn't fit me). Thank you for talking about this, it makes me feel much more valid as someone who has always said 'I'm not non-binary, but I'm not binary'.

I love this so much. Thank you both for making this video, it means so much more than you even realize. What Ash said about bisexuality versus pansexuality really hit home. I realized I am bisexual when I was 12 or 13, and I am 21 now and still get people, even people I don't know, telling me I /need/ to identify as pansexual because of how I explain my sexuality. But I just feel so much more comfortable identifying as bisexual as I always have, and it's /my/ label. I also came to realize here recently that I might be demisexual, so I have been trying out the label "demibisexual". But I've had so much trouble with the fact that I'm worried that I don't belong in the asexual community because until the past couple of years I never really considered that I was demisexual and I always had this misinformed idea of what asexuality was. I didn't realize for the longest time that it's on a spectrum. And even though I've talked to several people who are in the asexual community, one being someone who is demisexual themselves, I still keep hearing a nagging voice in my head telling me that I can never belong because I'm not "asexual enough" and that I'm too allosexual. Even though I have described how I feel to a few different people and they have all told me that it sounds straight-up like demisexuality and that I'm allowed to identify however I feel comfortable, I am still scared. But the label feels right to me, and I am still coming to terms with it. And this really helped a lot in that aspect as well because of the part where you guys explained that someone can identify however feels right for them. Thank you for being such great people

Ash did such a good job sorta interviewing Chase and this was such a well phrased video!

Oh my God, you literally just described my gender. Slightly on the male side of centre, not non-binary as such, but not binary either. If someone were to ask me what label I identify as, I'd even make the same noise you made for the "are you non-binary" question. An "eeeehhh..." sound coupled with a shrug. Long live the squiggles!

This is a lot how I feel, expect the other way around. I identify strongly with being transfeminine and take pride in being a trans girl, and I feel like there's strength in claiming the feminity I didn't get to live and enjoy before I started transitioning. In reality I fluctuate a lot between like, feeling like a binary trans and feeling non-binary. The latter is not something I identify very strongly with, so I just call myself a trans girl and leave it at that, even if technically I'd be genderfluid/NB. Maybe one day I'll identify with that part of me more (which I already kinda do with how I present myself to the world sometimes), but for now I'm satisfied just identifying as a binary tran.

You know when you get this overwhelming happiness that certain people exist? well my day has been full of that today, and you both have been a part of it! Thank you very much for sharing your self-ness with all of us. Sending you nothing but love and support with all my heart.

Chase you're exactly where I am. Thanks for explaining it so well.

2 people I adore in 1 video!!! My year has been made hahaha Great video ♡

Um...This video is solid gold. Thanks for touching on a subject close to home! I like the not binary description. I also love the ideal of you do you and don't let people tell you or define who you are!

Great video!

This video made me so happy

every single one of ash and chase's collabs is just the two of them aggressively validating everybody and I love it

Hey Chase- this makes so much sense. I’m not sure if this also applies but, identifying as a certain way for a long time, it’s scary coming into a new identity or “label”. And some people in the community get all weird when people change their labels or whatever forgetting that we all evolve. Sending you lots of love!

Thank you for having this conversation. I recently discovered that I'm NB/Genderfluid in the sense that I flow from binary "woman" to NB "whatever, just Bobbie". I've been in my head and invalidating myself because I still identify as a girl or "chick" or whatever. And refer to myself as a woman and love being referred to as such. So chase explaining how he's a not binary guy, made me feel so much better. I love you both so much. You guys have helped me a ton in my gender and sexuality journey!!! (Sorry for the book)

I love Ash and Chase together 😍😍 You both have helped me so much just by sharing your videos and experiences. ❤

So, basically, you don't really use the term to describe yourself because it bears no relation to your personal self discovery journey? That's completely ok tbh.

Thank you for this video.

Oh, how I adore the both of you and I love listening to your open-minded conversations, they are so heartwarming :) Lots of love

yo wtf this is exactly how i've always seen my gender in my head like the whole line imagry and everything omg. i'm so glad there's another person who feels the same way expressing this identity on the internet. i'm still exploring how to identify myself as a trans masc/ nb person so this has really helped, thank you.

I absolutely adore you both! I think it’s important to have a voice speaking to those trying to figure out their identity. Be that gender, expression, or anything else that has to do with becoming your best self. I so appreciate the safe space you’ve created and I look forward to your videos! Peace

Chase, I am so with you on this!! The way you explained where you on on the "binary gender spectrum" (if that's even a thing), is *exactly* how I explained it to my therapist! I even used the same hand gestures and everything. Logically I'm supportive of everything non-binary, but I don't like the term for myself. The technical term for my identity is "bigender," but I don't like that one either. So, I'm sticking with genderqueer. Your videos, out of all the FtM Transguys on RU-vid, helped me the most in coming to terms with my identity and gave me the courage to transition, after living 46 years of my life as a "tomboy" female. When I first was aware of the possibility to transition, it didn't quite resonate with me beause so many transguys are straight, while I've always been only attracted to men. It took me a long time to realize that sexuality and gender identity have nothing to do with each other, and that my many years of joking "I'm a gay man stuck in a woman's body!" was actually my truth. It wasn't a joke at all. It's literally who I am. A gay, genderqueer, transguy. :)

Chase you just described exactly how I feel, nice to hear someone I can relate to 💕

Seeing this made me feel so validated Chase like bless. I've been debating on whether I'm just trans masculine or an actual trans guy but now I will be a squiggle ! Love you two 💙💛💚💜🖤

Hey chase! I am an afab non binary person and I see myself on an ordinary day as being in the middle of your line example, and then on other days I lean towards “feminine” things some days, but I view my body and my presentation as just middle, I am hoping to get a binder so I can more easily present “masculinely” which I’m excited to try because I have a very “feminine” upper body

*nervous laughs as light breaks*

So when you need to use the restroom which do you use?

This is so wholesome

I looooove this video

I love y'all and your comfortableness in owning your identities. Keep doing you!

This video is so flipping fabulous 😇

ya'll are sweet. Thank you for this

I love everything about this video 🙌🏻

I was bi, I was pans, now I'm just like whatever.... I'm *me*

A variety of ever changing words have always existed for someone to describe someone's experience.

Chase! Did you already do the drawings for those who won for your last giveaway?

Ash has such a cute voice

What a lovely video

i think the fact that its completely okay to explore and figure things out for yourself as a person is completely lost nowadays and i really appreciate the fact that in the end: you do you.

If you knew how much I love these two making content together ...

Chase, I feel a lot like you. I feel like I'm totally male, but "soft" male. I'm a boy. And knowing you feel the way you do, but you are fully transitioned/transitioning and happy, gives me a lot of confidence to pursue my own transition where I might have been too scared. 7 months on T and I have fear for the future, but right now I am the happiest I have ever been. Thank you for being you and putting yourself out there for all of us.

We need more people like Chase. I’m starting on T in a few months, but have been feeling really discouraged after starting to watch some Trans Male youtubers. Videos like ‘trans trender’ and things along those lines make me really neverous about being a more feminine trans guy. But Chase’s explanation of not bianary feels just so comforting and so right. He makes me feel like whatever I choose and whoever I am moment to moment is okay. I can’t thank him enough for being so positive about gender and personal choice.

I am a full blown female that loves dresses and shorts, video games and makeup, shoes and Pokémon cards, listen to rnb and rock.. but I am just a girl, that likes and wears masculine and female things. But I still am. a. girl.

I JUST REALIZED THAT YOUR BACKGROUND IS CATTENS

i LOVE this video, and you two, like, a lot

I love this conversation (and your evolution), which brings me to a question. I will be sharing it with my students. Does this mean you have also evolved on the idea of yourself, as a transgender person, embodying a third (or fourth or fifth) gender? (I saw an earlier video where you said no and clearly embodied and identified a more binary understanding of yourself.)

Love these two 💕😁

I’m not cutting my self... off from it 5:20. Did you mean that pun about having surgery? 🤣

You both seem so happy and comfortable with yourselves right now, hooray!

i really love Chase's hair in this video, it's very vivid and lush.

This I consider to be such a helpful representation, I feel like our gender identities are quite similiar and thanks to you it appears I could transition, which is calming to me (as someone who is pre-everything and scared to transition).

I LOVE YOU BOTH AND EVERY CAT IN THE BACKGROUND

What lovely humans. Have never wavered in my identity as binary, but I can understand the fluidity at the same time. Idk, great vid. So well spoken y'all.

Have y'all checked out any videos from Fox and Owl? I think their wonderfully articulated arguments are very related to this video.