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Most people out here are "dating" and in "relationships" as a distraction from dealing with their pain, trauma, and emptiness. As someone looking for something authentic, what makes being out there difficult is very few people are out there in a conscious way. They engage with you in superficial ways so they cannot actually see you and you can't see them, which prevents the possibility of forming an authentic bond. As Isaiah mentioned, being in a relationship requires a lot. Why do it unless you have an authentic connection with someone? It's not worth your time and effort with that. Live your life discovering your purpose and pursue it fully. The right people, including the right romantic relationship, will be attracted into your life.
I can definitely relate to you dude. In my case, the reason why I am staying single is because I'm tired of the bullshit many women pull. The deception, dishonesty, and what I hate the most: ghosting for no reason. What's even more disturbing is how certain people actually champion this type of behavior--especially on social media; a bunch of strangers I don't even know talking all sorts of crazy to me trying to make it seem as if somehow I'm the one with the problem. They don't offer any sympathy, support, or assuagement, but they're super quick to tell me "nobody owes you anything", "nobody cares about your feelings", "you need to just get over it and move on", etc., after which I give them the business and tell them to go f-ck themselves. It's ridiculous. The way I personally deal with dating is that I pretend I'm playing the lottery. For example, I may purchase 10 tickets, which is the equivalent of walking up to 10 women and starting a brief conversation with them about whatever. A lot of times you're gonna lose (I have a boyfriend, I'm not looking or trying to date, I don't live here, etc.). I may win small amounts (e.g., $5-$20), which is the equivalent of having a one-off (or maybe even a two-off) encounter with a girl you fancy, be it a coffee date, dancing at the bar, one night stand, etc. But ultimately I desire the grand prize, which is a beautiful, sexy woman that is 100% cordial, loyal, committed, cooperative, has excellent skills and mutual interests, little to no drama, and so on. One that I can stick with for years to come and build a relationship that could possibly lead to marriage and creating a family...or at the very least, constant female companionship on an extensive basis. But those winning tickets which contain the grand prize are often snatched up by other guys or they're otherwise very elusive and hard to find (i.e., with these women acting funny and shit). Nonetheless I'm just gonna keep slugging along with it until something finally gives. 😕🤷🏽♂️
I worked with a kitchen cook who went through three divorces. That combined with my mother and fathers on and off relationship (never were married when I was born), and everyone in my high school/work circle getting married and starting to divorce in recent years puts me off the idea of marriage/kids or even dating in general.
You have the right mindset. Relationships and or marriage isn’t all what the world portrays these things to be. Enjoy your singleness. Dr. Miles Munroe has great teachings on being single.
Throughout my 20s, I would date many women. I was trying to find the one. Then in my 30s I was honest with myself and realized there isn't a "one". I can just randomly choose a woman and give tons of excuses why she's the one, but in reality I just chose her. When I talk to people about their relationships I can tell that's what they did. They try to embarrass you for being not like them, but in reality, they are embarrassed about their choice. I always hear "Everyone want to be in a relationship," but the truth is everyone wants to appear to be normal, and being in a relationship makes you look normal. Like this guy was saying, if you're single people think there is something wrong with you, but there isn't. I live a pretty regular life, just as a single man. I have no interest in finding a girlfriend let alone a wife. It never adds to my life, it just makes it worse. I feel like my life no longer matters and I'm just there for the woman, which is horrible and depressing.
You’ve been choosing the wrong woman. I found my “one” and 10+ years later I’m more sure than ever. This sister saw things in me nobody else did…including myself(and I had a mom and dad). She had big dreams and she put in the work to make them come true. We own a business now and travel the world as digital nomads. Life with a 🗑️woman is worse but with a good woman, it’s next level.
@@rgn87654 No, she helped me believe in my potential as a person. I was bullied for being light skinned and it made me aggressive and defensive. She is so chill and encouraged me to see fighting as a last resort when physical safety is at risk only. I was impressed shes a black woman from Chicago who speaks Spanish and French but figured I wasn’t smart enough to learn it too. She bought me some Pimsleur Spanish lessons and we would spend one day a week speaking only Spanish to each other and going to stores and restaurants where they spoke Spanish. There are so many examples but we are yin and yang. I have helped her overcome her severe lifelong fear of dogs to the point we have 2 including a pitbull. She’s my person fa sho and forever.
@@rgn87654 We are yin and yang. I felt like this before the money. We make each other better and she's exactly the same but totally opposite of me. Nobody else in the world for me.
I've been single my whole life(I'm 27). I used to be really hard about myself. The first of my triplet siblings got married on sunday, and I used to think why am I not at that point? In reality, there's no race against anyone in your own life. It took me a few weeks of therapy and opening myself up to my friends and family for me to come to that conclusion.
And honestly, I'm quite over dating as well. The guys are better which reflects that work I have done on myself. However, they are simply not the one that God has for me. And although I have learned a lot and raised my standards, I can't help but feel like I am wasting my time. I am strategically removing myself from the dating world and refocusing on myself. I know not if God has a relationship in my future. I know my heart desires it strongly. However, I don't want to miss out on my life waiting around for a man. A man does not complete me, I am whole and complete in Jesus Christ. If it's just the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, and myself then that's what it shall be. I won't miss out on my abundant life longing for something not meant for me. Especially in this modern world of dating and relationships ew.
Oh well that's a good way for humanity to become obsolete especially with the lgbtq running rampant. At the same time I fully understand the staying single stance as I been struggling with it. But is it really coming from a place of being humble and listening to God's will for it and to focus on purpose and not be distracted and lead astray? Or is it really from how more and more immoral and selfish and unloving and how worldly and vain people are around us to even meet someone right and pure to begin with? Maybe even both could be the problem and maybe thats why we think staying single is the only option now.
It’s not about society forcing people into relationships. God says be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. God also says it is not good for the man to be alone. The main purpose of man/woman was to serve god and procreate. So yeah I understand you’d rather be alone so to each it’s own, but to me a More fulfilling life is a life with family, a loving spouse and your own biological children who you raised to be great people.. But hey to me that’s true happiness..
You have to understand that we live in different times. Many of the women in this time of age are not the type to follow gods word. When there's a shift of mentality and culture, that's praises women to be strong and independent, a society that's heavily against men (divorce laws, parenting laws, child support laws) you'll get what we have now. Yes the Bible does say to be fruitful and for men not to be lonley but that's when there's a balance between men and women. That's long gone... men are waking up against the system that's setting them up for failure.
