Scott Galloway: The Real DANGER Of Dating Apps 

I honestly would like to see these apps go bankrupt

My grandson came to me the other day and asked me what do I do when a women tries to humiliate me for trying to start a conversation. I said first thats her issue and you should understand she has issues and just rule her out instantly. Second, I said stand your ground, turn it back on her in a calm manner. Tell her being short or cruel to ( people ) is not very attractive.

Profit for dating apps = less matches, more swiping. They don't want you to get off the app. The incentive structure doesn't encourage matches but instead endless swiping and chatting

A woman said to me the other day that if a man approached her in a club, she’d probably think he was after one thing. She might not be wrong, but with some men they’re just looking for a partner. I hope not too many women think this

It's like people are skipping steps #1 through #9 and trying to get it all in step #10 when it comes to getting a real relationship

I think we can all agree that it's key that you get out and talk to people in person

Imagine a guy stuck in this loop , feeling isolated, and not knowing this is a pandemic affecting everyone and wondering why the world treats him as a waste of life

Get rid of dating apps, get rid of only fans, and definitely get rid of social media thenat least could get

Honestly it's a vicious cycle because say you're in that bottom 50%, you experience the disappointment of hardly getting any real chances. Say your economic situation changes drastically and suddenly you're in the upper 10% & getting 10x more attention, you aren't going to pick one person & leave but you're gonna stay, get greedy and eat as much as you can because how easier it suddenly is for you now. The women also adopt, they still won't go for the bottom 50% but now they too play around with the top 10% or so. I think a lot of us dudes we eventually become the problem too. You hate the game until you're winning and that is why we can never fix this for all. It's like corruption, everyone is against it until you the one in a position of power & now you start protecting the messed up system so you can keep eating.

I went out with a good looking man, both of us mid fifties. I was amazed at just how much attention was projected on him from men and women, young and old. He even wore a fake wedding ring at dance classes. It wasn’t something he enjoyed and it had a bearing on how he was with people and his life. When we split up 3 years ago I knew he would be ‘snapped up’ and so he was! But people just see the outside beauty, and I saw that clearly as not such a great thing, and when I got to know him, I saw his inner integrity and shyness. I think sometimes looks don’t match with character and it taught me to look deeper and not make snap judgements.

I have gone off and on with the online dating apps. My profile doesn’t have what my occupation is because I don’t believe that should be something that every female should know. I have gotten connections with some attractive women but I noticed one of the first questions they will ask you is “What do you do?” and if your occupation isn’t up to their standards then the conversation goes stale real quick or you don’t hear from them. I was telling my buddy I said “Man I miss dating in the 90’s and early 2000’s when you could approach a woman and actually have a conversation with her. They could actually see and feel your personality rather than just relying what is on a screen.”

While I am not entirely against using online dating apps, it's worth noting that some women use them to seek validation rather than solely for the purpose of finding a relationship. I suggest utilizing various channels, both online and offline, to increase your chances of finding a compatible partner. For both men and women.

It's purely about looks. In the full interview, Scott ignores this and abstracts this with the phrase "online attractiveness" which he attributes to wealth, location, and other factors. He's completely wrong, it is down to genetic/physical attractiveness and that's it. This is old news to everyone else. Make a profile on any dating site for a 5'5 South Indian millionaire doctor who loves kids & puppies who also does charity work vs. a white 6'1 male model who is broke. The results and responses, or lack thereof, are so predictable that it is not even funny. It's not complicated.

Scott did not mention how porn, for young men, has transformed their reward dopamine receptors and how that has played a giant role in de-motivating so many men into pursuing & working for women’s attention. He also did not mention the bigger rooted problem of capitalism, and how it’s exploiting men and their relied addiction to porn and correlating that back to the dating market. Its really dehumanizing women and desensitizing men.

People need to conentrate on making friends 1st. Then romance can follow. There is to much stigma and pressure on dating. Form friendships with like minded people

Scott missed the #1 signal for women- GENETICS. Height, dark features, overall body shape (muscles, jawline, full hairline). Women fully respond to men with those. 5’6… bald… no muscles gets ZERO on dating sites.

I’m hoping that people see the light and stop using these dating apps. I’m 22 and have never been on one because it’s so unnatural and I prefer to get into relationships organically and take my time. They just feel sinister to me. A lot of my friends are on dating apps and they say that mainly they end up having one night stands and just feel used. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Interesting guest - thank you for the thought-provoking talk. I like these kinds of settings when you let your guest express themselves without interrupting... However, you don't need "bigger" guests. Bigger is not necessarily better. ... and doesn't give the guests you've already had due credit.

They need to ban dating apps

As an "adult" mentor mentor mentor young men and women....especially young men! Volunteer at the local high school and help out any way you can. Be the big brother they never had but always needed!

It's less about economics and more about looks/genetics.

I read that the law of attraction only works when the intentions behind the manifestation are pure. This understanding has allowed me to embrace the law of attraction as before I knew this, I could not embrace the idea that people call bad things into their lives. I can now embrace the law of attraction and manifest positive experiences into my life.

Galloway says "be aggressive." Don't be aggressive, be outgoing and personable. No female likes aggression. Aggression makes us want to create as much distance as possible from the aggressor.

No one has the balls to say the obvious truth: AVERAGE WOMEN SHOULD BE DATING AVERAGE MEN. If women were to actually give guys on their own level a chance, then we would no longer have a dating crisis in America.

We've got programs to help people become more viable. What we need is people to reach out and work with communities to figure out what has changed and what needs to be done. This is a unique situation

High socioeconomic status (SES) does not automatically translate into relationship skills. Relationships require complex skills like empathy and communication and a good attachment style that cannot be bought. Success in relationships depends on the personality and values of the individual, not socioeconomic status. I wish people didn't have such limiting beliefs in this relationship, such as that economic status = relationship ability.

Kindness is the most important to me.

“Meet women at work.” LOL that’s called s3xual harassment Scott

It's way worse then that. Looks is also extremely important. Women more and more want 3% of top most physically attractive males.

Great video, I wonder what percentage of the profiles on these apps are scammers

Thank you for telling the truth

Wether you ask a girl out on line or in a line, social media has created hyper-hypergamy. Their expectations of men is hilarious.

My beef with all this is, when I have given less successful, less intelligent, or less attractive men the opportunity for genuine connection, they lie or try to degrade or cheat anyways. If they are so thirsty, why not cherish a genuine woman? Something doesn't add up. Maybe it's because where I live, there are more eligible women than men, so some of the women are desperate and tolerate such behaviour?? Over my dead body will I accept that.

Speaking for myself, but I don’t want to be someone’s “guard rail.” Lifting my mate up from time to time, sure, but if there’s not a baseline of self-motivation, we’re not compatible.

Ironically how the men are always told that you need to change this or that to improve this or that while women always get understanding for their difficult situations they are in etc. It sends out the message that we are forever doing thihgs wrong or incorrectly while sometimes society can just be quite hard and cruel for a man, this should also be expressed in my opinion.

It's like we upset the natural order of things and now are wandering why all the consequences.

Women care about looks #1. Second wealth.

Last place I'd look for love is a dating app 😆🤣

1000% agree! Fantastic! 💪❤️

This is thought provoking

I have been playing around with the idea of throwing singles events or something. As a young woman, I think there’s a lot of potential for creating a space / event with the purpose of promoting connections. This “safe space” might help men and women who worry about seeming creepy by approaching others etc. I think if we could find a way to make them cool again and bring in mainly young people (18-35) who are struggling most with these issues it would be extremely popular.

So many times I've heard women express their unsafety/anxiety when approached even in such an innocuous situation as waiting in a line for a coffee so why would I exacerbate that by expressing interest. Asking someone out isn't worth making someone else feel worried or unsafe.

I think the main things that men should focus on is be kind and good to her, be resourceful (education and work). Basically make a woman feel safe and secure with you physically, mentally and financially. Those are the main components that will make lots of women fall in love with you.

But how will that fix the skewed landscape dating apps and social media are creating for men vs for women? Most young people use them without realizing the algorithmic manipulations, and they're designed to be addictive while squeezing money out of desperate men.

This is why many men are getting their passports and moving to poorer countries where all of a sudden they are considered upper class.

Around 3 mins he mentions the three things women look for in men....but leaves out looks. Why are we lying to ourselves? Women absolutely care about looks, even more then men.

I heard someone recently suggested that men are becoming the new women. In turn, women upping their game to become the new men. How on earth!?!? I really appreciate your interviews with truth speakers. It breaks my heart that love is squashed into an algorithm of money and looks. We do need to confidently say hello, make someone laugh or listen to them. We have no idea how their life is going in a given moment. It could set them and you on a better course, just in a coffee line.

Honestly, I asked girls out from time to time in person, and I have no more success with that. In fact, I would say it’s harder in person because women have become so picky and over saturated with choices that they all feel like they’re better than me.

Before the Internet was invented, people had to meet in person. And everything worked out fine. Geez

Daygame is great for mental health ,exercise ,improve style ,expect rejection and keep going, get off dating apps

Scott, I know you say it isn't a problem to express interest - the problem is that there are some women who will find you so unattractive they will make you feel as if you've inconvenienced them by talking to them. Modern women believe they are exactly who they express themselves to be on their Instagrams. Rejection is standard in human life; being made to feel like you aren't human will crush you, however

I'm raising two boys and I'm going to keep them away from porn. I get that they'll get to an age where they want to experiment in private but I don't want them to think porn is representation of real sex. I encourage them develop values, personality, character, and sense of humour and self worth. Quality over quantity or I tell them if many girls reject them that's OK because you're looking for only few quality of women to choose from.

He is right about young men but a different theory is that porn and video games are numbing the potential anger and violence of young men

8:03 love how he was dead ass and didn’t join in on the laughter

economically viable? Guy with six pack here 6ft and 140k a year income. Majority obese women / women with children will only match. Europe/Asia I have had models go on dates and pay for me! Here in the US I have obese unemployed women verbally telling me they "can do so much better"

ive been watching Gary's Economics recently and got a better understanding of just how rich the rich are and how much more they have become recently AND how this could be addressed via a tax on wealth and assetts instead of just income .. in any case this distribution of wealth must also be considered when considering relationships because this wealth, which the rich increasingly have, comes from society and its young men as much as anyone who are feeling its absence and the burden of this inequality of resource

Where is the motivation to talk to someone? I like my money, I don't to have to worry about a female taking half of my wealth, I don't want to worry about being divorced (90% of the time it is initiated by women), I don't want to feel the guilt of not performing well enough in life, I don't want to deal with more drama, I don't want to be tricked in to being a daddy, I respect my physical and mental health and don't like drama, I don't want to worry about being cheated on, I don't want to fear rejection. Where is the balance? One thing I learned in being in two long term relationships for the past 18 years is that I like my independence.

Do not use dating apps. Just approach them in person.

Bill Maher also argued the same thing about shooters.

"If shit got real, I could kill and eat everybody or outrun them." Fight vs flight is in our DNA whether we like it or not.

yes i totally agree ...

I don’t agree with the part at the end where he says “guys need women to tell them to get a job, get in shape, for a girlfriend to withhold sex unless he steps up…” um.. Women are not your parents. Also this is viewing the data from the perspective of the unmatched men, what about the factors of the lowest unmatched women? Feels like a very one sided lens

The problem with dating apps that even good looking guys with decent job will struggle as hell to find meaningful relationships.

Excellent

Whilst I can't fault these solutions. My main gripe here is this: Once again it is men who are being told "hey you need to shape up" which as a core message I'm fine with, we can all better ourselves. But nobody seems to be saying to women, "you are delusional, you have been granted equality which is great, but you now need to temper your expectations." Mathematically it is IMPOSSIBLE for women to date horizontally and up to the degree they are willing to accept whilst at the same time having equality of opportunity. To that end, no matter how much a man upskills himself, he is still more likely to miss than hit. The other thing to point out is, the most successful man is still less successful than the least successful woman when it comes to matches on dating apps. Again, we need to point out to women that they are the ones who need to adjust expectations. It might be easy to say "men need to get it together" but as men are the ones overwhelmingly checking out of the dating market and are actively saying that women are too much hassle to deal with, it isn't men who will be disappointed. They are already disappointed, it is now women who now have everything to lose, and that bioclock is catching more of them out. 50% don't have children before 30, of that 50% over 30, only 50% of that number have children at all and once that ship sales they're done.

Concerning the gender ratio: Tinder has the worst with 21.9% women and 78.1% men. While Badoo has 35% women and 65% men. Bumble seems to have the most balanced ratio out of the three at around 43% women and 57% men. You're male but not Chad? Don't waste your time.

What happens if you are the best version of yourself and you still cannot get with a woman - what should you do then? That’s the question to ask in this chat

It’s economic. We’re at a weird point where people like me have money but feel like we can’t control anything. It’s almost like we need a good recession

I blame the women. Women online are just … no words

I met my fiancé off a dating app, and yet I still don’t recommend dating apps because of all the damage they are doing for men and women. I was also on/off apps for 6 years, and did have a few relationships from them-but none of them were good relationships except for this last one.

In my experience if you want to get laid, just 1) be in good shape and 2) turn up. You’ll get get matches, attention with 1, and 2 will always give you opportunities with work nights out, events, etc. you don’t need to be earning shed loads to get laid. Luckily, everyone has the ability to get in shape, it’s in your control and not due to external factors. Granted, understand what good shape is for your body type (ecto, meso, endomorph) and embrace that Ofc there are other ways too, but I found the above worked really well and is something 99% can achieve And like the guy said, don’t be an asshole. Be kind (just don’t simp)

BITD, I thrived on rejection; it always ended up as a good story.

This is truly extraordinary. I read a book with a similar theme, and it was truly phenomenal. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

I was in a long term relationship with a girl who was addicted to these apps. I gave her enough time to choose me over the apps. Yep, she chose her beloved phone full of dating apps. Enjoy dating that piece of plastic.

"Women who have a much finer filter for mating because the downside of sex for them is if they get pregnant" does not capture the true risk of a bad choice in partners. There are far greater risks than that of getting pregnant because the risk of getting pregnant has been reduced if not eliminated entirely.

None of this can change. It's simply who we are now, baked into our psychology. The end result of decades obsessed with greed and narcissism.

Go to the climbing gym. Get a mountain bike. Go slake lining. These are communities of people who are open and interesting. you connect to people and to the outdoors which in my eyes is real therapy! -the gym…

Am I the only one who thinks he looks like an old Ryan Reynolds?

Don’t approach women at work, gym or anywhere you want/need to frequent regularly. Only basic greetings and work related conversations with women at work.

And what ad did RU-vid chose to run before this video? Bumble 😂 🤦‍♂️

This is very interesting

None of the proposed solutions address the environment of online dating. Online dating feeds into the unrealistic fantasies of woman, our whole society does that as well. Our entire society is drunk on the desire to possess something better, the grass is always greener. One of the four noble truths of Buddhism is life is suffering, the suffering is the desire to have things we can not have. Western materialist consumer culture tells people they can have it all. In reality we can not have it all, no one can. The other Buddhist depiction of humans that always wanting more is that of the hungry ghost. We have become a culture of hungry ghost, our humanity is being brushed aside.

This is some Top G content

33% of males haven't been laid in the last 12 months? Bro, I'm shredded, top 10% strength, make $95k a year, and am decently okay looking plus the abs. I haven't been laid in 8 months. You can't even be above average anymore. You have to be the TOP fucking G

Cool Channel 😎

Not a hard solve, guys. Be happy being alone, (self improvement will not help you to get women in the west), OR get your passport and leave permanently. Not sure why people are complicating this.

I got an ad for bumble when I clicked on this video 😂

Nothing but creeps on the apps. Too many guys into "choking", asking about it on the second date or trying things without asking first. Violent pron is making young men unviable.

I wonder when we will recover from apps, the family unit thing is out of style and someone makes alot of money of unhappy people.

The US needs to legalize sex work like much of the developed world; then these low-status men will have an outlet, aside from the other benefits of more employment and tax revenue.

He basically said what we all know. Look Better. The black pill in undefeated.

The problem is UNDENIABLE.

I disagree with him when he says “just approach someone you find interesting. You’re both gonna be fine even if the interest isn’t mutual” unattractive men approaching women has basically been criminalized in some regions.

Too many guys have an unhealthy fixation on trying to get laid and also feel entitled to it and much of this is the manosphere's fault. What these guys don't understand is that if you stop prioritizing trying to get laid, the opportunities come around more frequently. That's just how the world works.

7:15 THANK YOU!!! If men want more access to women they need to *self-improve.* You can’t shame, harass, manipulate, or cyber bully women into dating you. That tactic clearly hasn’t been working….

I don't mean to be invalidating to young men. This is a very important message and video. This is even more true for women though. God forbid you don't have a four pack of abs while being feminine and into sports and and and and... But can we also normalize being attracted to not perfect looking people, in _both_ genders? Some men don't date women they like because of how other men will perceive them for "lowering their standards" if the person is overweight or not attractive.

I don't understand why young women have to be the guardrails for men in their peer group. We've struggled enough, the odds against us, the deck is stacked against women. If young ladies can hustle to get their degrees, that job, that house and that nice car, what in the eff is wrong with the men? I thought they were stronger than women? I thought they said we were unequal in favor of men? This all sounds like bull. These dudes need to be accountable for self. Get outta your momma's house and get your survivors game on.

90% of women swipe on the top 10% online. But 100% of women on the apps are in the bottom 10% in the real world.

You know who they are before you know who they are. Nice

I like Scott, but one point that doesn't get mentioned - COMPETITION. When the host asks him how we get all these people laid, the reality is human beings (or any living creature) are not meant to compete with basically EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET AT ONCE, which is what we are now doing in the internet age. Dating apps, social media, etc - You aren't just competing with the people in your town, neighborhood, or city. You're competing with a staggering amount of people, and you can't beat them all. And the choosers (women) - spend their time looking at 10 potential mates instead of one, and eventually chooses 1. So those 9 other guys eventually filter down to the next woman who is looking at 10 mates. And they spend all their time being filtered, that they waste a lot of time, and the men at the bottom don't have a chance.