“They will be selfish about everything later in life. They will see giving as a means of losing” THIS! This rings so true. I just ended a 3 year relationship and one thing I felt my ex was, was cheap. But not cheap in the conventional sense of not wanting to spend money…he was very generous with spending money on himself yet very conscientious of what he spent on me or on us. Which was fine, but what was not fine was how cheap he was in EVERYTHING else. Time, affection, attention, consideration of my wants or feelings. CHEAP AF! Thank you Anna for putting into words something I tried to comprehend for 3 years. I knew something was wrong and I couldn’t figure it out until I found this video.
i just got home from a date with a man i met on tinder. he initiated the conversation, asked for my instagram, asked me to go meet him, (he has no car), but i had to plan the whole date from start to finish. every decision was made by me. and tell me why this man had the audacity to ask me to pay for his meal? honestly i'm flabbergasted
@@BruceKarrdeYou both should put your kids first first of all, if you join her in putting your children first then you make it easier for you and her to tend to your needs. Also jobs are necessary to put first, no job no income, no life. The pets also need to be prioritized. Though it all depends on what exactly we are talking about, are the kids so young that they need priority? Is the person seeking a really demanding job or trying to climb up when that's not necessary for living a comfortable life? If so, then that can be an issue. If it's out of necessity then what do you expect the woman to do?
Wow I am SO relieved to hear I am not the only one with an ex that used feminism as a justification for being cheap... I have a friend that said, "Women's investment into a date looks different. It looks like hundreds of dollars of nice makeup and skincare, the sexy lingerie, the nice outfits, and the hours spent to put that all together - the least that they can do is buy me dinner!"
" hundreds of dollars of nice makeup and skincare, the sexy lingerie, the nice outfits, and the hours spent to put that all together" - this is nothing in comparison to good men. These men will spend years going to the gym, years to make a career and become a high-earner. And you are sitting there "Well, I just spent money my date never asked for, that took me 2 hours to apply. So, that means he should pay for everything." What happened to the "I buy sexy lingerie for myself and NOT a man"? Look, there are cheap dates, cheap women, and cheap men. But don't go sitting here as if you're the 9th wonder of the world.
Are women spending hundreds of dollars of makeup on one date? If not, then why are men covering the whole amount of your makeup bill if they are only asking you out to one date ?
The last time I dated a cheap guy, I barely walked out alive. He wanted to 50/50 EVERYTHING. I would buy my drink from Starbucks and he would sip from my drink. Never again. Get your own drink!
Legit knew a guy in college who, instead of buying his own drinks when we all went out, would take "a sip" of everyone's drink to try what he liked first and by the time he was done "sipping", he had probably drank the equivalent of two drinks. The sips were gulps, btw.
@@maybeboth Leaving every else hungry while he is full. That’s why I said I barely made it out alive because I used to be hungry a lot after seeing him.
I dated a man who never had money or time for me... but 5 mins later he would be with his friends spending all his money drinking... thanks god I dumped him and promised to myself I won't be with someone like that, I deserve someone that take care of me and know my value👏🏼We don't need cheap men
maybe he didnt like being around you because you're unpleasant to be around and the boys are not. maybe its not a matter of him being cheap, maybe youre just not worth the effort?
@jenniferosorio2877, You deserve to be valued. If they never have money or time for you, but always have money or time for everything and everyone else-- then it's a problem. Good for you for knowing your worth. The only people who want you to lower your standards, are those who are incapable of rising to meet them.
To be fair, I can't stand cheap people, especially men. I'd pay for my friends' drinks if I happen to go to the coffee shop that way or whenever I invite them out. I dont take advantage of people. You know if you keep paying for a person 4,5 times in the row, and they don't return the flavor, you need to stop giving. It's nobody's obligation to give. Talk about cheap guys, if he asks you to split 50-50, run sisters. Don't date until you know the person well enough. It's perfectly okie if the guy runs out of money and you give him money ahead to pay for both so you two will look good in front of restaurant staffs.
Your makeup is always gorgeous! Love the energy and the content💛 For me personally the biggest game changers were:1) learn how to relax and receive with gratitude rather then feeling guilty when a guy takes a lead 2)not to settle for less. That’s my core value,I stick to it and if it differs from his he’s just not my man
When you said there are men who are dreamers and thinkers but poor executors I FELT THAT!! And you are absolutely right they cannot commit. I dated one and I ended up having to leave because we weren’t going anywhere, I’m hungry for success, I want to grow and be better everyday. For him was more of like “ I made okay money I’ll just watch some football and chill” EVERYDAY. Even though when we first started talking he told me about all the things he was planning on doing but never did. So question. How do you know if he is a just dreamer and a talker and how do you differentiate him from a hard worker executor man?. Because everyone has to work right? We all need food and pay the bills. But what about more, like having a trust fund for your kids, taking care of your parents, traveling, and achieving your career goals. I’m 20 btw I just want be steered in the right direction and not waste my time.
If his words and actions don’t match, he won’t do anything in life. I dated a guy like you described. He started out wanting to be an actuarist. He ended up with a IT degree because he didn’t want to apply to Penn state’s actuarial program (we live in VA) and possibly get rejected. He was very good at math too but he lacked action so that kind of guy will never do much in life. He works for Microsoft last I saw. And no it’s not a good position either.
All guys have 1 thing in common, they all want snex, we know some men will lie to get it especially now since men havent needed to work for snex since the snexual liberation and birth control pills, you want to seperate a worthy man vs a user who will do anything for snex? Stop giving it out so freely when you go on dates with the person take everything at your pace the more you see the guy the more easier it gets to ask the necessary questions no matter how uncomfortable they are, and understand if the guy stops seeing you take that as evidence of the vetting system working.
travel with your own money if its so important to you. to me it sounds like you ditched a guy who cared for you because he couldn't give you all of the materialist crap you desire. your real objective is the money. so get your own job and pay for your own crap instead of trying to get a man to foot the bill for your lifestyle.
@@acd1168 IT degree.. working for Microsoft.. and you think hes not doing much. This is a huge cope. That man has already accomplished more than you ever will.
@@acd1168you are the perfect example of why men left the dating scene, that guy you dated had a job and yet it still wasn’t enough, did you even take time to let him pour his heart out ? No you did not , you chose to leave him, reap what you sow , the wall is near 😂
Go to school. And finish. And pay for your own stuff and be independent. Don't listen her and stop freeloading and having escort mentality you'll be alright.
Great videos and content 👏🏼👍🏼 how about future video on best dating apps for different… age groups? Like the mature 50’s -woman seeking a relationship with a mature man . Different dating apps are geared towards different wants/ needs. Your insight is invaluable. Thanks and keep it coming.
I love how eloquent and articulate you are! Our perspectives are a little different from one another but that's why I love listening to you. I always learn something :) In my experience, "take charge" type of guys are pretty controlling so I've learned that to be a red flag because it doesn't jive with my personality. But I also have a slightly different take on how I express my femininity, and I don't care so much if a guy is pulling out his card because I like to treat too. Different expectations, but a lot I agree with you on, especially the feminist ice cream bit and generosity of spirit. Love your insight!
Just broke up with a cheapskate! He convinced me to join a gym 1 min away from him and 10 min drive away from me. He refused to pick me up and drop me off despite training together unless I paid him £10 a week! To cover his gas money. 😂 he felt that I wasn’t owed a free ride and I should be charged accordingly. Yikes!!
You’re complaining about 10 mins for the gym. Women are weird. 10 mins is literally not that long & it probably takes you a bit less than 10 mins in reality. I used to mess with a woman who I always drove around for free but she got to a point where she just was too needy. She was just too much of a liability & too needy & barley had her own money I got turned off so I no longer date her but we are still friends. I now charge her gas money if she calls me for a ride somewhere. She lives 30 mins away from me though.
Funny how women never talk about love and feeling but instead everything is about money. So entitled to other people money, even tho you are a grown up adult and independent. If men are cheap, what to say about women expecting men to pay for everything ?.
My ex. It started with paying for parking the car. He was in a hurry, because he did not wanted to pay more. We just did a drink. My daughter was even there. Little did i know this was the ONLY date we would ever have. No taking out, just sitting at home watching tv. And when we did go out, i always had to pay him back. When he started to ask when i did move in with him, i knew we would never ever go on any date anymore. (He did not even ask if i even want to live in his city! I live on the countryside, with animals outside. His garden.....is the size of a stamp! 😂) So no, thank you for thinking for me, but i pass everything about you.... We were only 4 months together.
I knew it was over with my ex when he complained about the £20 he had spent at the cinema - note we never went anywhere and it was a steal compared to a proper Saturday night out on the tiles 😵💫 still makes me want to vomit every time I think of it!
Same, my ex, he often reminded me how generous he was for paying $30 dimsum for me and him. While I lent him $600 there and then without questions. I broke up with him to cut further losses. And he was older than me 8 years old. After breaking up with him, I did not grieve. A few months later, I went on to date my bf then, husband now, while an ex was still driving around my old house. I was afraid that he would stalk me. I was glad that I moved on quick. My husband is a great provider and often wants to buy me a bigger ring $7-10k but diamond is inflated, so I stick with my old ring. Money is a love language from a man.
There is a difference between someone you know, and going out on first dates and getting used by women. You are (likely) going out to multiple dates, getting free dates and sleeping with other guys. A guy wants you to at least invest something so he doesn’t feel like he is being used.
I just dump a guy I should go on Date he asked me “ how much is the cab for me to get there ? I don’t want spend too much on cab “ I just dump him on feels great
@@Make_Me_A_Sandwhich I never rejected him. He rejected me because of his pets. His pets are his kids. I can never consider pets as my children. I don’t mind pets though, I love his cats and he knows that. He doesn’t want kids, I absolutely want kids. I’m not being picky here, neither will I end up with pets. I would rather die alone. Thanks for assuming what I’m not.
3:30 whenever a guy does it (I swear to God) I want to kick their cheap ass out of my life. I was a medical student during my dating phase, I used to get so furious if a guy used to say this particular line "you will have to pay for it". I'm a doctor now n people ask for free consultations all the damn time, even the estranged 2-3 dates guys and guess who doesn't pay for their medical consultation or 2nd opinion. (Gen. Physician consultation fee is 500-1000rs here in India, approx 6-12 USD. Specialist consultation fee is double of that)
"My lawyer ex made me pay for my own scoop of ice cream". How was she entitled him paying for her ice cream in any way? Him buying her ice cream is a nice gesture that she should be grateful for, not something that he owes her. Thinking men need to pay for your time will rot your outlook on partnerships and men in general. Both men and women have always had to work for each other in marriage and relationships. If a guy acted like that about what he wanted from you, you'd recognize how gross it is immediately.
"pay for your time" YEP, this is, without a doubt, escort behaviour. It goes beyond that: such lines make it seem that a man's time (and thus existence) has no value. Women can make use of a man's time at any moment, while he needs to schedule and pay for it.
Well, he asked a woman out. Dating her and not bothering pay for her ice cream, just a freaking few dollars the best. I'd pay for my friend's ice cream and drinks if I invite one out, let alone invite a date. Cheapness doesn't have to come with specific income levels. Here is the tip: Don't invite any date out if one wants to save. Not a rocket science.
I have an 8 figure net worth but will only offer wine on first date out of principle. I get to see who’s looking for a free meal. I’m not meals on wheels. Sorry. Find some other sucker
You are a millionaire ... but impoverished in mind and spirit. Your interest alone, provided you invest correctly, would effortlessly allow you generosity ... if you saw that as a possibility. As long as you lead with your fear, you will always have reasons to stay unhealed and afraid, money being no object ... but if you truly come to understand generosity and love, you will be rich in life and love, money again being no object. The richest men I know are seven-figure men ... but they are rich in generosity and love, and achieved their material and family legacy without fear. What they enjoy from the people around them cannot be bought with money ... and NEVER would they be afraid of offering a meal as if that would hurt them. I hope that you will reach that level of true wealth, that $20-50 is not an object to you any more...
There are double standards on both sides though, while men have had financial freedom women haven't for GENERATIONS women have their own perks within a society..like concentration on well being and mental health, nobody cared about men's mental health, during the same time period when your Chad wouldn't go with you to get a $5 chicken halal..there were commercials sponsored by the President on domestic violence while everyone involved in the advert said "men don't hit women" And while that's good in theory, there's a much deeper problem..nobody talks about how men's emotions fester and turns to anger which may lead to domestic violence..and while nobody should hit anyone in a relationship there are so many deep seeded problems we don't even think about..so men could make similar points. A true relationship is a collaborative efforts where both people contribute, absolutely 💯 a man buying his lady flowers and taking her out is no big deal at all..but she still has to contribute something..you mentioned this, and as long as she is there's no issue.
You realise pay gap is a myth? If you are actually fair and truly compare apples to apples, women are paid the same as men ( some say 101%, but 1% is within margin of error )
Yes, we feel sorry for your mom. You must be on your dad's side thinking she did nothing except spread her 🦵 . If she wasn't a nourisher, you wouldn't grow up into this form.
Pretty sure we re gonna see her in a few year begging for a man after the source has dried up (she will be out of the game after 30 and the men have understood that the girls abroad are so so so much better).
Real gold diggers look for rich guys earning over 1 mil per year. Not broke ass like you. Even gold diggers dont settle for less. Some normal women have too low standards paying the dudes, or the dude asks her out and goes 50-50 gosh. Time changes.
