Why I Will Never Have Children 

Hey! It's been exactly 3 years to the day since I made a video called "To men who don't want kids" - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-HxlW5Xwe1iM.html - which seems to have resonated with people more than I ever could have imagined. My personal perspective on the topic hasn't changed. This video is an addendum to that one. The only difference is that now, 3 years later, I mourn for future generations more than ever, while continuing to make the best of life in the here and now, as we all should. I make many generalizations in this video, but to go into the level of detail I'd like to would require a much longer video, and there's already better videos out there on the topic than one I'd do justice making. Two videos I'd recommend watching are mentioned below, if you're interested in dipping your toes into understanding some of the biggest challenges we face as a civilization: Netflix Documentary: "Breaking Boundaries - The Science of Our Planet" Sabine Hossenfelder's video: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-4S9sDyooxf4.htmlsi=fiA0kk6fRlxuAylS

Life: The "gift" that's not worth giving.

Its very simple: When i hear a song i like.. i want to hear it again When i watch a movie i like.. i want to watch it again Would i want to repeat life if i had the chance? HELL NO!

I'll say this, I do UNDERSTAND why people choose to do it. Subconsciously, people know there's no meaning to life. We're all waiting to go back to eternal unconsciousness. So, in the meantime, people look to have "families" because it's the most distraction way to get thru life.

thanks for making this video. I hope to see more men make content about being childfree. I've been with my gf for almost 7 years and she's changed her mind and wants to have a kid. its sad but we might separate. in this society, we can barely afford to take care of ourselves. im 33 too

I am happy too without children. Enjoying the last 1500 weeks with 51. Life is getting more and more difficult for people.

y'all, be wary of family members who will try to get you to babysit their kids as much as possible. be strong enough to say: "NO!''

Bro Thanks for posting this video!!!. I have felt alone and weird knowing I felt this exact way in secret. Observing and realizing how tough life has truly gotten for us as human beings within todays society. Having kids was on my mind right after I graduated college. It definitely came from places of : peer pressure, tradition and passive societal mental manipulation. For generations it was so common to have kids just because everyone else was having kids. Planned or unplanned!. However It feels great knowing I'm not the only one. Who cares enough about not bringing a new life into this hectic place we call the world. I hope those with children are doing well and hanging in there. However, right now in my life I am happy just trying to provide, learn and take care of myself.

Same for me. I'm 67, male, US. Never wanted kids. I don't remember ever having to explain "why?". No one's business. However I know why. When I was 11 years-old I watched a movie on TV called "Divorce American Style". Looked pretty clear the US men can't have kids. They can father kids, and pay for kids, but you get no say in how the kids are raised. If the mother doesn't like how you want the kids raised she had the option to kick you out and have the courts force you to pay her. A little before watching that movie I'd also heard 2 stories of men offing themselves and people said because they had lost their kids in divorce. So marriage to me looked pretty dangerous to my life and risky. Plus my own parent's marriage looked pretty bad to me. I just didn't see the upside. In high school, dating my 1st girlfriend at 16 there was a time when we were both naked and I was inches away and... I stopped. I did not want to risk having a kid. We lived in the county and getting condoms seemed impossible. We broke up later and a friend of mine asked if it was OK for him to ask her out. No prob. He got her pregnant. Ruined his life. Without kids I was free to join the Army out of high school to get money for school. After the Army I took a job on Shemya island AK way out there in the Aleutians which paid a lot. Then went to college for computer science. Dropped out to create Atari video games at a startup. Everyone told me that was a mistake, that I should stay in school. Even a VP at the company warned me about dropping out. But the salary was as much as I expected to get with a degree. I shipped my first game in about 40 days and the company doubled my salary. A week later I found 2 guys with money, I quit and we 3 started our own game company. That failed with the game crash, but I moved to CA and hired onto Atari. Went through Atari's collapse but stay on and worked on the Atari ST. Then I got recommend to Apple and jumped to Apple to work on the IIGS. Stayed 5 years and then the rest of my career joined 14 different startups doing interesting projects. Software to cut diamonds smarter, OCR auto license plates, back to video games, AI tools for sales people, economy modelling, security consumer applications and other things. No way I could have taken all those risks, had all that fun, with kids. I retired at 45 but not with a pile of cash. I had a $100k stock pay out but a $2200/mo mortgage too. I still loved coding so I just did software I wanted. A weird thing happened...once I was "retired" I no longer was limited to inventing products that could sell well enough to support a bunch of employees and investors. I could basically code for less than minimum wage and still be OK. That opened me up to being able to create apps no company would ever consider. I just picked fun apps I wanted. Code them in a few months and get a nice price and a little royalty income. 5 little royalty streams became a pretty good income. Early on I fixed up my San Jose house, sold and bought for cash in Phoenix. Light bulb moment, the cap gain on selling my house was tax free. And I enjoyed fixed up the house and real estate. So I started to slow flip. Buy a dump, live in it at least 2 years creating apps, then fix it up, sell into a hot market, repeat. It was fun jumping back and forth coding and construction. And my income on houses was always tax free. Been a blast. Now for the twist... Do I regret not having kids? I assume young men ask themselves that sometimes, will I regret my choice later in life. For me the answer is no regret, no doubt. However, the twist is I now find myself with the option to have kids. And under much better terms than when I was a young man. WTF? I can move to SE Asia, or a few other places in the world, and marry a young, trim, attractive woman who would be thrilled to be my wife and have kids with me. Yeah, of course it's all about the money. That's always been true for all male/female relationship from the day we walked upright. Probably before that even. The concept of is it love or money is stupid. These are the same things. A smart woman will love a man who provides resources and is kind. A smart man will love a woman who cares for him and is kind. Better terms. Currently I'll be considering Philippines. Currently no divorce and if divorce passes it's unlikely courts will be so hard on men. I have the advantage of my kids being 100% Americans on day one and I'll have the US gov on my side. The cost to raise kids in PH is much cheaper because the mother isn't going to be demanding to keep up with the Jones. The Jones in PH are poor. Filipinas aren't as demanding for money. A US woman is extremely expensive no matter how you slice it. Being retired I'll have time to spend with my kids. I have the resources to secure my wife's entire life with a 6x median PH income, and kids through college. Not the money stress I would have had when young. I have budget for housekeeper and nanny ($150-200/mo plus food) if needed. I don't plan to change diapers. With that help I can travel and do as I please with my wife if she wants or solo. I have more to teach kids. My kids will have the advantage of dual language and citizenship. If I pass before they're 18 they will get 150% of my Social Security check until they get to 18. That alone would be 15x the median PH income. Plus I'll be able to have a much more high quality wife than I could have married in my 20's. I did date, fun women, but mom material they were not. I'm not concerned about "the future". I can't predict it. If my kids want to take themselves out they will always have that option. So I don't see why it's my responsibility to never have them so they have no options. So maybe I'll have kids. Might be nice being surrounded by little me as I age out. Now I suppose I would have to answer "Why are you having kids?" Weird world. Still won't have any need to answer. As long as my wife and I know the answer I'm good.

I hate when my mom says oh you will change your mind when you get older like I just want to get older already to prove her wrong man lol

I totally appreciate you for giving voice to this topic. More people need to be conscientious about bringing kids into the world. Most kids are unplanned, the planet and society is in rapid decline. Plus the cost of living is mental and only getting worse. Thanks for speaking out.

i completely understand and couldnt agree more.

Hey Adrian thank you brother for making this video. The other one you did brought me to your page years ago. It’s like you get it! I don’t see a lot of males admitting they don’t want children. I just had a consultation for a vas too a few weeks ago. I don’t think I can do it… smh idk man. Thanks for the video on this topic though. You are awesome man!💪🏿💪🏿💪🏿✊🏿 I loved the dragon cave analogy!!

Wages are low but prices are going higher & the rich are getting richer 🤦🏻‍♂️ Why would i give them another customer??? (My child) I am quite unhappy with the way society is today and i feel like not having children is the best way i can give the middle finger to this savage way of life. Nonetheless i can't even do the things i love in life with a $17/h wage now how in hell am i gonna be able to afford a child with all the crap that comes with it literally? I will live my life, travel when i can then F off and die 🤷🏻‍♂️

This was so refreshing to hear! This is the conversation I would love to have with my friends, we do touch on these things but its great to hear your monologue and very measured. AI is a double edged sword, I work in IT and my prediction is AI is going to do away with so many jobs, including mine, more quickly than people realise. Just as you said, humans are rubbish at organising the important things hence we are getting our planet into such a state, this is what the future of our planet hangs on - human beings who cant prioritise the most important things. I remember people saying things to me when I was a teenager like ”you ought to thank your mum and dad for bringing you into this world” and I’d be thinking “you’re kidding, I wouldn’t know about any of the pain if they hadn’t decided to have sex!” I am content and sometimes happy a lot of the time but you’re dealt cards and it can be hard to play them well sometimes. Rant over 😂 How’s Shadow?

Great take. 100% agree.

Excellent video and it's great to see other men sharing in the comments that they feel similarly!

This is a well needed message... However, you are certainly not a "Normie" as you are self -aware and consciousness of your surroundings. Indeed, "Normies" lack that trait.

To me, your thoughts are akin to @LawrenceAnton. You are both very insightful and empathetic about bringing children into the world.

Profound content ❤

Well said. You sum it up in the first sentance. Undeniably, it is still one of the best times to be alive in all of human history. We, especially me, I am a white man, from a middle class american family. I have lived a very privilaged life, the fact I am 22 and have not been close to death is a privilage. The fact I don thave to hunt my food, or worry about freezing to death, I am living like a king in some sense based on human history. My ancestors would kill for the life of relative peace and quiet I have. America even with its faults of today, is still the best place to live in terms of rights and personal freedoms. I am blessed, but that time looks to be coming to an end gradually, and the next generations, maybe even mine, will have to deal with a slow decay of the west. The trend is clear. We have a problem of too much liberty today. Too much freedom, and not enough consequences. Its like an example of drugs, do you allow drugs to be legal and let people destroy themselves, let drug dealers run rampant, or do you clamp down in some way and be extremely ridgid. In general liberalism and personal choice is the rational way of thinking, however, we have moved more into socialism teritory, a hatred of the rich. Justified in many cases, but the solutions are not solutions that will benefit the poor, theyre jsut going to transition power from the rich, to the politicians, which in many cases are still the rich. We have the breakdown of the american dream, the dating market is not going well. Really I jsut dont want to subject a child to that. At the end of the day we are just overly intellegent apes, we are extremely superficial, its all looks, me, me, me, and greed. The problem is too much liberalism, too much choice, not enough consequences. How to fix that? Dont think we can, it will have to break before someone fixes it. Im just going to enjoy my time, and observe.

To me , I don’t want to be a parent because I fear I will be terrible at it. I also believe humanity is broken. We allow money and power to determine whose valuable and whose not. Housing is unaffordable and no one cares that homelessness is a problem. ( I live in the USA). I believe that as a society we can resolve the problem. I believe as a species we would benefit from learning contentment.

Great video, so are you going to get a vasectomy or have you gotten one already?

preach.

I don't even know what to do with my life. Why do I want to bring children into this world if it is that complicated? Living is very very hard. I am not financially stable. I want to wait until I have a million dollars to start a family. I'm 52 and I am still struggling. I ain't relying on other human being to help me out. I don't care who he is. He might die the next day and I'll be losing the house. No no no no, no kids for me.

It could depend on how much a person dosen't want kids. Or how much a person want's kids. Because some people don't sick with it. Because of who they get married to or there partner

I feel like we focus so much on corporations as ruining the world because it's so easy to look and point outside of ourselves. I think even small-scale and local, it's not so much that people are self-interested, it's that they're too easy to manipulate and get stuck in their ways once they feel social validation, such that they almost inevitably become complacent. It's almost as though we're biologically wired to be unsustainable. I'm reminded of the recent event of Taylor Swift taking a 13-minute flight on her private jet, which is an ABSURDLY inefficient means of travel, but she gets so much praise and is so "successful" by status quo metrics, what incentive does someone like her have to change? Essentially none, and nobody in her sphere will hold her to account because they're all in on the high. Not to single someone like her out of course, but pretty much every career and household has a dynamic like that to some extent, where people don't want to stop or slow down because no one around them that they can see is going to, and possibly if they do, they're the first to get kicked out for deviating from the group and another will just pop in to replace them.

people aren’t having kids nowadays because they’re finally realizing that it’s a choice. i don’t want a life time responsibility of taking care of another person. i think people have kids because they think kids are cute. they are cute but they outgrow that.

People are becoming less polite and more selfish. The educational system in America is a joke. There are so many issues facing humanity, I have no desire to contribute more to this shit show.

I got a opinion about this whole topic, like you're opinion. No matter how bad decisions were made into this world from people with power, ignorance or for freedom. It is our own humanity to blame. We are all judgmental of life, carry memories, and survive through hardships. Yet because of that instead of turning to god people instead spread that on into public agreeing into trauma that people can relate too. why not pray to god and realize how lucky you are despite how lucky you are compared to other people that still work so hard and remain optimistic despite the whole world being against them. I think you need to realize that despite our personal journeys no matter how painful they may be, we can heal, be optimistic and serve god to purify the world from more sadness. Life is beautiful because it ends, which makes life meaningful because time is of the essence. It may become a desert. but many humans have lived, been through harder times then us right now. I say we are weaker because of how spoiled we are and how ignorant people become with money, luxurious things and viral shit. yet no amount of pain can ever dampen my faith and how meaningful life really is. The moment I have a wife that is willing to sacrifice luxury and wasting time to raise a family, I would raise and be apart of my family as much as i can despite being raised with two siblings and a single mother. I became aware of the opportunities i have compared to other countries. i searched this topic up but i guess i was proving it to myself that i do want kids despite what burdens the world has created. Ill make it my priority to teach them about god. Because without god people really are left living in a desert with no hope for happiness that life has to offer and i think the luxury care free lifestyle everyone wants is what separates us from serving god and doing right by humanity.

I know some people think never is the beat time to have kids. But one of the better times to have kids is when they quit smoking. Because of money and possibe harm to the kids

I feel like anyone who considers this message to consider the dilemma of procreation to be like Noah guarding his own self from a genetic legacy of a future flood of the rushing waves of peoples, nations, and tribes who go up against the future Ark of Truth and Salvation... Woe to that future flood of peoples, nations, and tribes.

Would you be a god parent meaning if somethng happened to a family mamber you would look after the kids? It might be a bit unkind to pick childfree people to be god parents

Beautiful you have a new subscriber

Depending on the reasons they don't want kids. If they just don't want to spend money on them and look after them. Maybe some childfree people would still be a egg donor or a sperm donor. But if they don't want to bring kids into the world at all maybe some of them wouldn't be

Every smoker who has kids should go outside to smoke

Greed leads to implosion. Have a look at the ancient city of Tyre

I think homelessness is only (majority) in the west. Look at eastern europe, it's considered poor, yet no-one is homeless.

12:19 The notion that humans by nature, ‘optimise for their survival’ is vague and misleading. You’ve got to be thinking about the many people who actively choose to live minimally, frugally treading a light carbon footprint, choosing to have a plant based plant based diet etc. We’re not all mindlessly controlled by the things that make life more convenient. Granted many of us are, and we all need to wake up to the fact that sustainability means all of us reigning in our needs and desires, making more effort, relying less on machines and technology, and having gratitude for the simple things.

You forgot to mention how annoying children are.

We complain about 'climate change' while using technology and items created by mining, deforestation, pollution, human exploitation, and countries that disregard 'climate change' safety.

I’m childfree by choice as well. Like you, I have a huge laundry list of reasons as to why I choose not to have children but here are my top 10 reasons. 1. Children are too expensive. 2. Parenthood is a lot of responsibility. 3. Human beings don’t ask to be born. 4. I like having autonomy and freedom. 5. Climate change will be a problem. 6. You don’t know what health problems they may have. 7. School drama involving bullying, shooting and stabbings. 8. The education system is poor. 9. The job and career market is poor. 10. I’m too old now (age 40), the new research about men’s fertility.

Cynicism and selfishness lol. That's really all you had to say. Those are your reasons.

you sound like an ENTP personality

Good for you i guess ? Your genes won't be in the gene pool and your ancestry line will stop at you, can't say if that's a good or bad thing tho