Why is My Ex Still Contacting Me? The REAL Reason Why your Ex Won’t Leave you Alone

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Why is My Ex Still Contacting Me? The REAL Reason Why your Ex Won’t Leave you Alone
You’ve been broken up with your ex for a while now but they just won’t stop contacting you. Why? You’re trying to move on but they’re making it even more difficult for you. Find out why they won’t leave you alone and what you can do about it.
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Heather Thom is a Registered Professional Counsellor, this content is not a replacement for proper mental health treatment. Always seek the advice of your registered or licensed mental health provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your mental health needs.
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7 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 138

@thomasb.smithjr.8401 4 месяца назад

An ex who won't leave you alone is like a eunuch who doesn't know they've been fired. 😖

@Fatima.apel7 13 дней назад

I swear 😂😂😂

@HolyDragon2808 2 года назад

"I'm filing a harassment charge" (and don't just say it, do it). Works every time. If they want to breach boundaries after being told repeatedly "I'm not interested, move on and stop contacting me", suffer the consequences. Sometimes people really DO want to move on in peace and have every right to be able to.

@whitneyerwin9772 2 года назад

OMG thank you!

@TB-mj7gt Год назад

I say just don’t answer. Threatening with police can end wrong

@HolyDragon2808 Год назад

When you're dealing with an entitled narcissist that won't take a hint after you've repeatedly blocked them (and they keep making new numbers and social media accounts to keep contacting you endlessly), that's cyber stalking and harassment and you have every right to get the law involved. I'm not saying threaten to or call the cops after every break up or anything (it depends on the situation), but dang, some people really WON'T get the message unless you go that far. And it's not threatening if you're smart and actually follow through on it like I did. I say "Or it can end exactly the way you want it" by the annoyingly entitled ex finally realizing that they need to shut up and move on. But I agree to a point. Don't actually just threaten to get the law involved and then not follow through on it (that actually can end poorly). If the situation has escalated that far, then actually file the charge. It's been almost two years since I last heard from my crazy ex precisely because I didn't just "threaten" with no follow up. I actually pursued the threat.

@anonymous-od1gv Год назад

That's what your ex want for you to answer because they know they've got your attention and piss you off

@nataliemarie23 6 месяцев назад

Amen

@Riiotking Год назад

And they broke up with me….. yet still don’t want to be in a relationship but “still want me”

@flowersforme375 2 месяца назад

You can force someone to breakup with you when they person was not readying to leave. It’s called dealbreakers.

@mizcand4436 Год назад

My ex is psychotic! I need this because every time he finds a way to contact me it messes with my mental health

@ninam500 2 месяца назад

Me too,its such a vicious cycle

@austinjohnson6048 2 года назад

My ex feels entitled to my life as she is a narcissist. Everytime I let her know to leave me alone and I block her number, she'll call at least 30 times back to back off of another phone. Then she bashes my character and acts as if I'm a joke. I called her out for keeping tabs on me because her current relationship with her rebound isn't going well. I have a roommate she knows so she will still try making appearances through them, so when I walk out to the living room or the kitchen there she is, with her creepy narcissistic gaze.

@nymphicide 10 месяцев назад

geez. how is the situation now?

@faithing88 9 месяцев назад

She has no shame 😂😂😂 visiting your place???? I would be embarrassed 😂😂

@amywinchester727 2 года назад

I'm so glad you mentioned calling police or first responders in case of emergency. I know a lot of the time people want to contact their friends and family first but I've heard from first responders how so many people actually end up losing their lives because they didn't call 911 first. It's a good reminder to our ex to contact their support system or the proper help and we're reminding them for their safety.

@carlel121 5 месяцев назад

I start believing that most men are narcisists, they don’t want to be only with you but also they don’t want you to forget him, I know there are some women out there with the same trait. But in general is more common in men.

@AliasGrace918 Год назад

So for me it's been over 4 years now. About 3 years since I've been completely ignoring him.. I blocked him on my socials, blocked his phone numbers, I even blocked him on steam 🤦🏻‍♀️ he still continues to email me every few months. I don't understand what else I can do to make it clear! He isn't threatening me or anything, just persistently begging me to talk to him, whilst telling ME that I should move on and heal..... bizarre.

@kimngocle2774 4 месяца назад

Now I have same problem like you😂

@stephrachel2505 Месяц назад

This was exactly what i need to hear right now. I have broken up with him, been separate for over 3 weeks now. I made up that my phone is broken. Because before he would keep texting, all hours, with no reply knowing i would see them. On my phone, it is crap it still shows me blocked messages and calls 😢 so now he thks my phone is broken he doesnt text. But he still calls evry couple of days. These are blocked too. He calls off privated number. These ive also had to block. He drops things on my doorstep, put notes thru my letterbox occasionally. Has been told "leave eachother alone to heal. It hasnt worked in the past. We both need to not talk and move forwards". It is so conflicting because i know i still love the guy, but realise i cannot be in a relationship with him. Which is why ive said this. He doesnt want to let go/is bored, who knows?!

@jiotaro-uk6ke 6 месяцев назад

Here because I might text my ex and ruin our healing process. This was my first healthy break up and I don't want to lose that. Thanks for your insights on why exes text, I will definitely work on them as I move on.

@ashleyhoward3962 Год назад

An ex I haven’t seen in like two years keep contacting me after all that time. Like I don’t want nothing to do with him. I don’t hate him I just feel like it’s a waste of time. He was crazy and tried to kill me. No seriously he body slammed me cause he allegedly thought I was cheating his mom had to call the cops on him. Now he’s been hitting me up on messenger from different accounts. I wish he would stop. 😩

@wandavillaverde6671 Год назад

You should get a restraining order on him since he physically assaulted you.

@SpaceLover24 2 года назад

I’ve actually spoken to the police about this guy, he won’t stop and won’t leave me alone. I’ve blocked all known accounts, and he keeps joining servers. The officer I talked to was very nice and understanding and told me delete your accounts, change your names. I did but somehow he’s still doing creepy stuff. I have a whole google doc filled with everything he’s done so far. It’s creepy and I just want to be left alone but he is a narcissist and if he persists. I will turn everything I have in. It’s just so hard to live your life when you are living in fear of someone. He’s threatened to sue me as well (because he groomed me) and I have tried not to get/make any contact with him but he keeps trying to come back.

@whitneyerwin9772 2 года назад

He's mad that you got away. Maybe time to move. Just be careful how you do it.

@MsAldil Год назад

How can HE sue YOU? Makes no sense

@sociologie4507 3 года назад

It can be a difficult thing to stay away from an EX. But I would agree that in general, it's healthier to rebuilt, at least for a period of time, away from that EX. Of course, there are cases when folks have kids together. What is your take on that Heather?

@mbcs0423 2 года назад

Thank you so much for helping me out. My ex has been texting and calling so much this past month even tho she called it off and already talking to other dudes. It just bothered me so much that she would text me in the middle of the night when I’m all alone with my feelings. I feel like she purposely does this just to see if I’ll respond but I had blocked her number last week and I’ve had a few missed calls here and there. It’s so hard to move on from someone who u used to communicate with everyday yo going back to strangers. It feels strange to wake up and to sleep

@HeatherThomCounselling 2 года назад

I'm glad you found this video helpful! I'm sorry to hear that you're having to go through this, I know it can be difficult to heal from the relationship with your ex always reaching out. I hope this strategy works for you and for you to have the time and space for your breakup recovery process!

@imchl Год назад

I feel you man. It’s so hard indeed, especially if she keeps reminding you of her. If she however called it off and start talking to other dudes I would block her everywhere no doubt

@realMariaRobotnik 21 день назад

Yes my ex and all my other ex's reach out to me in my dreams but I have a kind and loving and forgiving and merciful heart and soul

@echodaniels2751 2 года назад

Yes… The worst is when, She lets her kids go after you

@cupofjavaproductions3138 13 дней назад

This is my situation. I'm not going to respond to anyone I no longer want a relationship with.

@brandylee1238 2 года назад

I’ve blocked 7 different numbers but he keeps calling from different numbers.

@lisytrinh5231 14 дней назад

OMG I thought i was the ONLY one!! Like HOW to deal with this idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

@afinaltouchcandytables804 2 месяца назад

What happens when you have kids with this person.

@carlel121 5 месяцев назад

Why men get so obsessed with women? Most of the time they are the ones running away from us, and they are the first one coming back, why? And I know everybody will say because you give him sex, not I don’t give him anything, but he continues contacting me, sometimes I don’t even respond and he insists, I still have feelings for him he does not know because I won’t tell him, but what is this? I can’t live with or without you? I really want to ignore him forever and I just can’t!

@user-kl9th4dm2y 8 месяцев назад

Wife divorced me but still keeps tabs on me as much as she can but gets triggered by everything I do at the same time. I think she’s still attached and can’t move on.

@sisterhoodwithheather 2 года назад

YES. I have told him over and over to leave me alone. I blocked him in my phone and email and just tried to contact me on instagram. I blocked him there too.

@periwink7e 2 года назад

Same. My toxic ex is doing the same thing again and again and I'm very creeped out now. I told him everytime to stop and I dont wanna get back, but he is really being psycho

@LuisGarcia-ow8ss Год назад

My ex monkey branched but she won’t leave me alone! It’s difficult to ignore her because we have a son together and when she calls non stop I feel like it’s an emergency that has to do with him but then she just wants to tell me about her new job or how her day at work went. I feel she just wants to keep me around and I honestly feel trapped but I’ll set boundaries with her and hope for the best. It’s been two months since our break up and she’s in a long distance relationship but her new bf is coming to town this week for 5 days and it hurts to think about them together and how I will have to see it 😢

@LuisGarcia-ow8ss Год назад

She already wants him to meet her family and our son. It feels like it’s going so quick and it sucks because I’m still heart broken and trying to move on but now I’m forced to deal with this also.

@northshorelight35 Год назад

What if an ex still keeps hanging out with your family, like your kids, so you know you're going to be around them? This is an ex who dumped you, didn't want to marry you, etc. They're the one who claimed to not want you.

@pattylizzy Год назад

In order for both of us to heal and move on, I don’t want any communication from you. That includes, phone calls, texts messages, emails and any form of contact. I will not respond.

@carlel121 5 месяцев назад

Yes! He always want to know about my life I decided not to give him much information why?

@touche5029 Год назад

I was the ex that did this lol...although i didnt cheat i loved him and felt.that we could just work past our communication issues we could be great..didnt wrk 😄 did this out of love, and missing him and honestly just wanted to make things right

@alanpeterson4280 Год назад

That's what honest people do trust me I know how you feel my x dumpep me but never told me staring arguing and everything was my fault I had treated this woman like a godest never had a fuss for 16 years she has a boyfriend and does everything you can imagine to convince me she does not, even comes and trys to have sex with me and can't understand how hurt I am she don't want sex from me but makes me think she does and something that was natursl is now the worst experience she has to get me to the lowest place possible then she gets off on my misery and makes a fool out of me because I can't ever get an erection it's like my body is trying to detach but my heart is in charge. mental abuse by a person you were totall free with one time 100% happy with is something I don't have tools to deal with she knows I have big heart and to keep me in a constant state of confusion is hard to take I try to not talk to her but she will not stop.. I loved that about her when she loved me it's not much fun now.

@pipoosingh5380 10 месяцев назад

My ex is married but after 2 weeks of his marriage he again started calling and texting me . I blocked him from everywhere but still he manage number from his friends god am fed up now.

@kiraxo3 Год назад

i’ve been working on this, my bf of a year n a half broke up w me a couple of months ago, i think he was cheating bc he had another option after we broke up he told me he started dating one of my best friends. now recently he’s been spam calling me daily and gets mad when i don’t respond n is like so no text nor call? it’s like kinda an obsession he has w me n im like why do i need to text you, didn’t you have a gf? and he’s like you hurt me, you don’t even talk to me nor call me, are you trying to get away from me? you don’t care about me, and i’m like trying to ignore him as much as i can, i still care but from a distance but him spam calling me and saying i hurt him pissed me off, idk if he’s just doing that to annoy me or what but i used to b attached to him after our breakup i’d text him all the time but i became distant and he’s like oh you’ve changed you don’t seem to care abt me anymore, im thinking abt him rn but if he really wanted me then he would still b with me i think i’ve accepted it been trying to move on but he keeps texting me

@carlel121 5 месяцев назад

What’s wrong with men? My ex said the same he contacted after 2 months and the first Text I ignored him but he always insisted, until I feel bad and texted him back, after a few times doing that he said you don’t text me anymore, I am The one doing all the time, I try to keep contact with you it seems you don’t care 🙄

@melawieeinapfel8594 5 месяцев назад

Ladies, I share a simple but great trick with you: I installed a fake email address of my father and send an email as my father to guys and an Ex I don't wish to be contacted. Once they got the email from another man they left me alone.

@freshfitverts30k95 2 года назад

Me ex girlfriend still been contacting me & she someone new it’s been like 4 months or 5 months I told her to talk callin me be happy with new boyfriend she left me & say she really like the new guy so accept her decision & went into no contacts but she still calls & I blocked her ….

@peaceandlovexo1952 2 года назад

Same my ex left me and is with a new woman! Every few days she feels the need to reach out and ask questions about things she already knows the answer to. Today I blocked her completely.

@datingandlifeadvicechannel7534 Год назад

Unfortunately men don’t respect boundaries or care that’s when you have to contact the police

@jdvpolar Год назад

Realy? Coming from a Dating and Life Advice channel... The same applies to woman, I've been there.

@CQLLIN Год назад

Women are the real stalkers lol

@carlel121 5 месяцев назад

Yeah they don’t! My ex said I’m tired of being after women I won’t go after you, after a few weeks he is all over after me 😅and he already accepted I know I’m the one insisting and pressuring you all the time 🙄

@margokirk534 2 месяца назад

I needed to hear this. Now I understand. Thank you!

@mimiboucher5701 2 года назад

AMY 💜 ❤️ you're back ground is fabulous!! so much symmetry and coordinateing colors without trying too hard lol

@tonisheadunlap25 Год назад

it's very annoying !!!

@noyb4441 8 месяцев назад

VERY

@Confessions089 2 месяца назад

Or their criminals and looking to use you as collateral damage or something along the lines of that.

@CorvetteLife 8 месяцев назад

The amount of people who call their ex's narcissists is seriously getting out of control. Its just funny how the people who are leaving comments are always the victim and the other party is always the narc. I'm starting to think its probably the other way around. Everyone has narcissit traits, some more than others. Nevertheless, thanks for this great video!

@user-kl9th4dm2y 8 месяцев назад

Exactly. If you have an ex nowadays, they’re a narc. It’s just a trend and way to stereotype people. Literally 1% actually dx with NPD. The people that throw the term around and diagnose their exs based on social media trends are the real crazies.

@carlel121 5 месяцев назад

How do you explain somebody continuously saying I understand you don’t want to talk to me, bye take care, and after a week reaching out? I’m the narcisist? How?

@arr204 4 месяца назад

My ex texts me a couple times a year to say hi. Means absolutely nothing. I just stopped responding. Just stupid at this point.

@markstites1842 16 дней назад

My girlfriend ex is posting stuff on his fb page like her pics and keeps posting reels of how he wants her back and waiting for ever to be back with her not saying her name but I know that’s about her this has been going on for 2.5 years now my question is why is he still doing this after so much time has went bye do you think maybe it’s my girlfriend fault because she is still giving him clues that she still wants a back up plan?

@monikalazic-selic8509 4 месяца назад

I m afraid to ignore him...

@malshajayakody8197 Год назад

Now I m having a good relationship but my ex still bothering me by texting and trying to contact me always.. he is not allowing me to start a new life.. I m afraid that he will harm to my new relationship also ... I m totally down please help me with this...

@johnlacon6974 2 года назад

My ex won’t stop contacting me she dumped me. We work together and she keeps tries to hug me. It so frustrating I won’t to move on but she won’t let me. I want to polite as we work together.

@touche5029 Год назад

She must love you..allot.did she stop contacting?

@Samara077 Год назад

I had to change my number; they showed up to my door;the only reason I have a break atm is because there not in the country; I may have to threaten with legal action

@carlel121 5 месяцев назад

They? 🤔

@flowersforme375 2 месяца назад

Your ex is grieving a loss. Also, it can be hard to go from talking everyday to not at all. Be kind.

@bellengametuangaro7009 2 года назад

No I ain't trying not interested this is going to help me.

@shellieallred505 Год назад

Almost in Disbelief. 10 years together 2 children together I brought with me my then 2 year old. Been apart now 17 years he still calls months apart but it's always the same he uses a loved one to get me to answer then it all your the best my friend you know me and I know you better and then like a switch, I must have not agreed idk then I'm every low and degrading thing he can think to say. Our oldest 23 lives in the same state has his dad and today I feel for it again my ex stirs up so many problems for me and our kids when he does this he also tells them it all me. He did some sneaky stuff to make it look like I called him but not my number just some random number with my area code. And my child actually believes its!I'm in total shock and deeply hurt and now extremely worried for my adult son. I wish I would have found your post sooner it would of saved my family alot of pain. The truth is always brought to light at some point. Im just so thankful to you for this. You are so right stay true to our boundaries and we teach others how to treat us that hit my soul and this is what I've need to hear for so long thank you so much. This can save you so much unnecessary pain and drama for everyone involved. Many blessings to you!

@adamoutdoorbushcraft8164 Год назад

I'm the ex trying to still contact her after being blocked. We were on a break,I found out she was already talking to other guys

@stephonlutchman6820 2 года назад

We have kids together and I told her to message me once it's important concerning the kids, yet she wouldn't send me a message and she just keeps calling my phone so what should I do

@lisytrinh5231 14 дней назад

YES!

@susanford3161 Год назад

Yes Hi Bradley been contacted me told him it had enough won't leveing me a loney lonely

@susanford3161 Год назад

Yes Hi Bradley contact me just won't leveing me a loney

@HeatherThomCounselling 3 года назад

Feel like you need extra support during your breakup? Book a FREE 20 minute consultation to see if my services are right for you heatherthom.janeapp.com/

@paulmcmillan847 11 месяцев назад

I had my ex keep on bothering I told her not to contact me many times she try to call me and text me I didn’t respond so I had no choice to block her my relationship lasted me 10 years

@carlathompson9308 2 года назад

My ex talks to me once a week. Yes he said he is all alone

@moneytips-smartgenuinequit300 Год назад

Be next to him unless he cheated or abused you...

@carlel121 5 месяцев назад

Yeah but he decided to broke up right? How that helped? 🙄

@dalewilliams7196 Год назад

Yes. My ex won't leave me alone

@Jbrain0 Год назад

My ex texts me but when I ignore her she reaches out back but is more “dry” and hot and cold . :/ thinking of weather I should just not talk to her completely

@sabastinezaato8339 2 года назад

My ex broke up with me she always insult and disgraced so recently I posted a female friend and she saw it and became angry 😠 that when I was with her I never posted her but am posting other ladies am confused by her action

@LR-fb6lu 2 года назад

YES, thank you!

@anonymous-od1gv Год назад

Ex broke up with me one time and kept sending messeges to me on whatsapp only to delete them

@Funday10012 10 месяцев назад

Wooowww...thank you ❤❤❤❤

@ladyviking89 Год назад

Yes

@Wandelsessies Год назад

Wait... If she blocked me everywere and tell me she dont love me anymore and still try to control me and follow what i do on social media?

@xhiraeeth 2 года назад

What if they start spamming me after time worrying that I'm in danger because I'm not answering

@paulmcmillan847 Год назад

Hi my ex keep on texting me and bothering me how do I stop her texting me and get the message I am not interested I have ignored the text is that the right thing to do?

@paulmcmillan847 Год назад

Hi my ex girlfriend keeps on bothering me I keep telling her stop contact me how do I let her move on

@crystalzzxx Год назад

My ex has been randomly trying to contact me even though I have million times made it clear that I wan't nothing to do with him. Its been now about 4 years from our breakup and I was thinking that he probably finally left me alone. But no, I got tricked to join a call in discord with him in it., ofc i left instaly and blocked them all. But like how insane do you have to be to not be able to leave someone alone, someone who doesn't want to talk to you or contact you. Every time he has done something like this, I never respond and I always block him and whoever of his friends is trying to trick me.

@destinyparker9817 Год назад

I tryed that and he still calling me i put two vpo's on him

@aru7771 8 месяцев назад

Yes!😢

@TheMysticAngel 2 года назад

Yes but I love him still

@MrLynamYT Год назад

Yep

@mimiboucher5701 2 года назад

i can't block even my hoovering narc ex becuz I need to be nice. im working on it. I said no you can't visit me cuz all you want is sex. he texts back naw....blah blah then next text after I didn't respond was well I can get a women ! I don't need you go away with your bad self. I said nothing he texted. again but I'm afraid to read it. I just wanted. to be friends cuz I cared about his soul

@carlel121 5 месяцев назад

You can’t be friends with your ex unless a long time has passed and both are dating somebody else.

@ravenbunnykittybat8545 2 года назад

yes!

@chinuchan4019 Год назад

Thankyou

@lightlightlight88 Год назад

Yes ty

@mikam.7312 Год назад

My ex ask me if he can stay for a night because his gf’s family is coming over. Should I let him stay or say no?

@marie420mm 2 года назад

yes true

@InbaGeetamAPAlakhapPerumal Год назад

yes

@jennvzw1 2 года назад

My ex and I broke up almost a year ago, I did no contact for a little over a month but then she started calling and begging me to be friends.....but I wanted the relationship, not just a friendship......so I have tried a few times to stop contact.....but she will keep calling back to back and keep texting.....and she has a child that I love more than life, so she has her call and leave me messages.....I have been hoping we would get back together.....but she has started seeing someone new.....but now that she is dating.....I feel like she wants me around even more.....calls me more.....text several times a day......I love her and I know she loves me.....I just don't know what to do.....because every time I try and do no contact it seems like it just ends up being an emotional cry fest .....I just want us back....I have never gone through this before.....so I am clueless as to what I should do!!!! HELP!!!!

@carlel121 5 месяцев назад

How she loves you and dating someone else?