Why Literary Agents Didn’t Like Your Opening Pages

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When querying literary agents, you must submit a submission package made of a query letter and the first 10 pages or first chapter of your book. So, if you keep getting rejections even though you have a strong query letter, it might be because the sample pages of your manuscript aren't piquing agents' interest. But why are they rejecting your book? Here are some common reasons why literary agents didn’t like your sample pages and what to do in each scenario to increase your chances of success in traditional publishing.
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MORE BOOK PUBLISHING ADVICE:
The Secret to Writing Likable Characters: • The Secret to Writing ...
Top 5 Mistakes Writers Make in the First 10 Pages: • Top 5 Mistakes Writers...
How to Nail Your Novel Opening and Hook Your Reader: • How to Nail Your Novel...
WHY AGENTS REJECTED YOUR QUERY:
02:03 - It takes too long to get to the inciting incident
03:47 - They couldn’t connect with the characters
05:06 - The stakes are unclear
06:47 - The style didn’t pull them in
08:49 - It just isn’t for them!
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ABOUT ME:
My name is Alyssa Matesic, and I’m a professional book editor with 7+ years of book publishing and editorial experience. Throughout my career, I’ve held editorial roles across both sides of the publishing industry: Big Five publishing houses and literary agencies. The goal of this channel is to help writers throughout the book writing journey-whether you're working on your manuscript or you're looking for publishing advice.
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25 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 80

@Justafox305 2 года назад

An agent turned my manuscript down but said “The voice in this sparkled, but she didn’t fall in love with the fantasy elements.” I’ll just take the first half of that as a compliment.

@AlyssaMatesic 2 года назад

Haha, I would take it as a compliment as well!

@markedly1013 2 года назад

They always say they didn't fall in love with your story. That's just a nice way of saying REJECTION.

@alandavies3727 2 года назад

Don’t take any notice of these agents. This is standard chat by them. They reject everybody, I’ve come to the conclusion that these people are hired to stop peoples work coming onto the market. Just look what they did to JK Rowling. These idiots are still around in England. They’re still rejecting everything. Publish your work yourself. The agents often say that it’s ‘subjective’. which means they haven’t got a clue.

@clintoreilly 2 года назад

Everyone's writing is unique. I like that. Thanks Alyssa.

@brigittegerlach Год назад

Hmm. Currently polishing a novel for querying. All advice helps. Thanks

@johnpavon799 2 года назад

Even with the best query letters and supporting material, bottom line is that Each Agent has their own author or writer they are looking for.

@QuentinPoverino 2 года назад

I've been said: "I'm sorry that I didn't feel as though the character came to life as I had hoped they might" but also "this is some interesting writing, but you need a lot of work to get a more engaging opening". Editing time again, I guess. The funny thing is that this second line was the entire rejection. Like, just one line, not even the greetings. Straight to the point.

@alancook9102 2 года назад

Yes thank you for that. Tricky territory indeed and you walked us through it, pointing out the potholes along the way. Valuable for anyone needing directions in a crowded street.

@geneedgerton4482 2 года назад

Your advice is incredibly helpful. Thank you, Alyssa.

@davidlocalio1124 2 года назад

Incredibly helpful video and great examples. Thank you!

@AlyssaMatesic 2 года назад

Glad it was helpful!

@deep42blue 2 года назад

This video addressed so many questions I had at the start of my querying journey. Glad other aspiring writers have this resource now.

@AlyssaMatesic 2 года назад

I'm glad the video was helpful!

@EnchantedEvents___Idaho 9 месяцев назад

I watched crafting your query letter video (can't remember the title) and followed your advice. I just got a letter back from a literary agent who requested my full manuscript! Ahhh! Thank you for your tips!!!

@AlyssaMatesic 9 месяцев назад

Congratulations - that's so exciting! I'm so glad you found my tips helpful!

@steveneardley7541 2 года назад

I write non-fiction, but found this video very sharp and insightful. I tried to take a course in fiction-writing , but it was so terrible that I dropped out after a week. I got more from this video in five minutes than a week of that course.

@sydlovesbooks5091 2 года назад

Thanks so much for your insight and work you put into this video to help us :) I was wondering if you knew from your work in the industry if you sign with an agent for a single book with series potential and it didn’t do well enough for them to want to publish a sequel, could you self publish them later?

@EmmaBennetAuthor 2 года назад

You had such a cool job!

@wtbwrites1806 2 года назад

I'll be submitting two in the near future. This is helpful

@AlyssaMatesic 2 года назад

Best of luck with querying!

@joshuataylor4268 2 года назад

Hi, great video. Submitted my children's book to a few agents and got two polite rejections back so far saying they liked it but not for them. Honestly, I was over the moon to receive them, as it means I'm on the next stage of the journey!

@alandavies3727 2 года назад

Publish the book yourself Joshua. Agents are not the people to help you. I’ve published five books in less than a year. Four children’s and one adult. My children’s books have five stories of two thousand words each + sixteen colour illustration. They cost £2000. Each book to publish. This is a lot of money but the feeling you get when you see your book being sold all over the world is priceless! I’ve now hired a expert market promoter at a reasonable cost. This hopefully will get me to my final destination of seeing my stories on the TV.

@AlyssaMatesic 2 года назад

Wonderful! I wish you the best of luck as you continue querying!

@BrandonNinja 2 года назад

I'm just going to do self-publishing because agents seem to say "No" to almost everything these days. And that's fine, some of the best stories get looked over the first time.

@tejaswinisureshkrishnan4228 Год назад

I have a question. If the first ten pages of the novel is the prologue and the main story arc starts in the first chapter, should I still send the prologue or send the first ten pages from the first chapter?

@JL13675 2 года назад

10 pages single-spaced or double-spaced?

@joemarchi1 2 года назад

Received a rejection on a test query I sent simply to get a feel for what to expect. The response came roughly six weeks after the submission. It came as a form letter that stated the my story, as presented, was not what she was looking for at the present time. I've changed my approach and am preparing to submit a round of six. This time I'm using different sample pages containing more intense dialog that takes the reader directly into the tension that drives the story arc. Thank you for all of your excellent advice and wisdom.

@AlyssaMatesic 2 года назад

Thanks for the kind comment! Best of luck with querying!

@plmwrites 2 года назад

Why does everyone seem to put so much value on the query letter?

@sullyFL Год назад

Would an agent rather see a super high concept pitch with a great title? Or a more common pitch that's a proven money maker but also with a good title and intense opening pages?

@sainzfab 2 года назад

I worry that while my story and writing is strong, my subject matter isn't mainstream enough. Am I better off submitting to indies?

@ShogunOrta Год назад

One of my problems is that ive created such an alien world my inciting incident doesnt happen til much later than ten pages. Although there is much talk that eludes to why that incident happens, so maybe thats enough?

@kevincasey5035 2 года назад

So having a book publisher write that he would publish a book by me based on my research is something not to be sneezed at? I thought I would have pay to get it published but according to him I would get paid!

@MrDanroche 2 года назад

Querying is the toughest part. Five of my books went on query submission and only one of them got requests. None of them panned out. Working on my tenth book right now, second draft, and I’m just praying this, or one of the other new ones, hits an agent’s mark

@AlyssaMatesic 2 года назад

It really is! I wish you the best of luck with your querying process!

@MrDanroche 2 года назад

Thank you@@AlyssaMatesic. I really appreciate that.

@shaaziaterry2715 Год назад

What does it mean interesting didn’t fall in love with opening pages

@SaraJaneTriglia 2 года назад

I wish they would give us these one sentence explanations in their replies so we know what to work on. A form rejection is not helpful at all. The most comment “reply” I get is that it’s not for them or they don’t think they could sell it in today’s market. I worked on developing my story and practicing the craft for ten years to get rejected for things out of my control? 😩

@arnoldtanjunhan 2 года назад

Hi Sara, if you're doing sci-fi/fantasy YA, would you be interested in doing a query letter or even 10-page swap? I've been racking a ton of non-personalised rejections as well, it's frustrating. Cheers and all the best either way

@andrewverlaine 2 года назад

According to some of the advice you discuss here, the opening pages of my current book would be a bit of a hard sell. *Spoiler alert* It depicts a violent death in a contemporary setting which is revealed to be part of a virtual reality simulation. The simulations happen in the "real world" of the novel, which is in the near future, where completely immersive VR is being developed. The character who dies at the beginning doesn't appear again until the end. In my mind, it was just too good an opening and I was too invested in the structure to change it! I didn't have much success with agents, but I currently have the full manuscript with a couple of indie publishers. :)

@AlyssaMatesic 2 года назад

That's a perfectly valid reason to keep an opening like yours! I'm really glad that your book is also finding its ground with some indie publishers too. It goes to show there are many, many paths to getting published, and so it never hurts to go beyond the traditional path. Thank you for sharing!

@Nicole-jv1mv 2 года назад

Hi Alyssa, what does it mean when an agent says they “have no doubt that they think you will find a home for your book” do you think that’s a generic kind of form or do they actually mean it? Also when they give a short personalisation like “ I liked your main characters voice” does that mean the query is in good shape and was good enough to draw them in to read the pages? Thank you!

@arnoldtanjunhan 2 года назад

Nicole, even a short personalisation sounds like a great thing! I've racked up about ten rejections, all non-personalised, in my querying thus far. If you're doing sci-fi/fantasy YA, would you be interested in a query letter / 10-page swap? Either way, all the best!

@Sunshine-hd3ux 11 месяцев назад

if you have feel you are finished with your book do you have to get it professionaly efited before submitting a query? I feel like my editing process at home has mainly focused on refining the elements but the grammer is not impeccable. Would lack of proper grammer be reason to reject? Also you mentioned 10 pages for submission is that the standard?

@AlyssaMatesic 11 месяцев назад

Hi there - It is ultimately up to you to decide whether you want to work with an editor or not. I do have another video discussing the benefits of hiring an editor for your book before querying: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-SyCCrCb5NH0.html - I hope that helps!

@Sunshine-hd3ux 11 месяцев назад

@@AlyssaMatesic Thank you! 🙏 Very helpful 😀

@dinagamelas 2 года назад

♥️

@azia3337 2 года назад

I had a few see the full manuscript but say no can you tell me where I went wrong

@arnoldtanjunhan 2 года назад

Hey Azia, if you're doing YA sci-fi or fantasy like me, would you like to do a query letter/10-page swap? Cheers

@azia3337 2 года назад

@@arnoldtanjunhan i would

@kristinacorren 2 года назад

Hi Alyssa! An agent asked for my full MS a couple weeks ago and I sent her the version that's a bit more politically toned down. I'm having a change of heart now and want to send her the version that's more political. Is it wise to contact her and do that?

@rajanunna8091 Год назад

Most of the time...I was rejected Because of ' I am staying in Dubai.' Usually, I am querying to the agents who are staying in Europe and America. May be, they feel its not right to place.

@rowan7929 2 года назад

So far I never got any clear message why they rejected my novels. Mostly the typical response, 'it not for me'. "can not see myself representing your story'. Thankfully you explained in one of your videos why so I know it's not my writing. With my WIP YA fantasy novel, I hope this will get agents attention as many want YA novels. Of course I make sure it has beta readers and my editor will make sure it gets the best treatment it can get.

@arnoldtanjunhan 2 года назад

Hey Rowan, if you're doing sci-fi/fantasy YA, would you be interested in doing a query letter or even 10-page swap? I'm at the same stage as you, racked up a few rejections, none personalised. Just let me know if you're interested, thanks!

@rowan7929 2 года назад

@@arnoldtanjunhan i will keep it in consideration. currently, my writing has been very slow as i need to take care of some person stuff.

@markedly1013 2 года назад

I have met published writers who were required to sell their books at malls, flea markets, etc. The authors had to pay for gas, food, and lodging. Unless you are with a top agency, this will be your fate.

@brambledemon1232 2 года назад

Flea markets? I undertsand the idea that you might have to show up at a book store, but my god-a flea market? It doesn’t seem worth it.

@markedly1013 2 года назад

@@brambledemon1232 I have seen authors at many places where people gather. Is it worth it? It depends on your motivation.

@GideonStevens 2 года назад

A senior editor once told me, "If the word "had" is in the first sentence, move on." Sometimes it's the person's pet peeves.

@diegooland1261 2 года назад

I'm getting close to sending out a querying letter, maybe six month out. My target is young middle grade and even for this audience, my writing style is overly simplistic. By this I mean my sentence structure is similar to the point of being a distraction. I need to spice up my technique while still maintaining my voice.

@alandavies3727 2 года назад

Don’t bother to try and get an agent, you’ll be wasting your time. Save up your money and publish it yourself. This girl is talking a load of twaddle. She knows full well that most people wouldn’t stand a chance, no matter how good your story is. It will cost you about £1000, to get your book published. Then just hire a market expert to promote it for you.

@diegooland1261 2 года назад

@@alandavies3727 Hi Alan, I have a little experience being in a band. The issues musicians face are very similar to those by authors. You can almost swap out word for word "how to make it in music" with "how to make it as a author." So I'm sincere but I also know not everyone is out to help me. I'll play the game too to get a little free advice or a leg up. We all know the tell: "I have a course for $500.00 that will show you a insider's perspective on...."

@Ruwen.S 2 года назад

If your writing feels repetitive and simplistic try learning how to “show don’t tell”.

@diegooland1261 2 года назад

@@Ruwen.S Thanks.

@BrandonNinja 2 года назад

I was rejected because the agent didn't like my mix of magic and technology. They're very picky.

@MariaMilenovasArt Год назад

I am so glad I found your channel. I needed to research and get informed about the industry, but many novel/writing RU-vidrs have an aggressive demeanour or squeaky scratchy voice that really put me off. Plus they keep ranting or pushing lgbtq/feminism onto the audience for some reason. While you have such a lovely voice, and relaxing face, and I love how you're friendly and connect with the audience all while being formal and not offensive/forcing ideologies onto people. Thank you Alyssa

@TheBobby2legs 2 года назад

Hey I’m wondering how I’m supposed to find the time to write a whole manuscript before submitting it to an agent. This stuff takes so much time to do.

@cjpreach 2 года назад

Me, too. I'm 13 years into my current WIP. My previous novel took 11 years. Some of us have real-life responsibilities. Keep on Truckin' Friend!

@TheBobby2legs 2 года назад

@@cjpreach That’s a heartbreaking truth. I don’t think it’s possible for an aspiring author to go all in without first being in a position where making money is optional. I personally don’t want to write on the side but that’s how it be I guess. Edit: Congrats on finishing despite the real life responsibilities. They can slow us down so much, it’s fantastic you had the dedication to see it through.

@cjpreach 2 года назад

@@TheBobby2legs Thank you for your kind words.

@izmatopia4347 2 года назад

how are you gonna get to the inciting incident of the book in 5-10 double spaced pages? lol

@KEB19877 2 года назад

I think the inciting incident is the catalyst that gets the story moving e.g. inheriting a spooky old house, going on a holiday with an ex, etc.

@jflsdknf 2 года назад

You should always be starting with the inciting incident! And naturally blend character and situation details into it as it goes along.

@BudsCartoon 5 месяцев назад

The Godfather stakes are established on page 67.

@brambledemon1232 2 года назад

No one knows what will sell. No one. It’s all guess work. You mention Harry Potter but it was rejected 11 times. Dune was rejected 23 times. Those two novels are the most influential fantasy/sci fi novels of the last century. I just read an article where they listed a dozen best-selling novels that were rejected 50-100 times. Agents have no idea what will work, full stop, because no one does.

@alandavies3727 2 года назад

I agree 100% with what you say. Agents are a waste of time, and a lot of them are very rude. It’s far better to save up your money and publish you books yourself. Then get a marketing company to promote your book. These agencies will soon close down. Thank goodness! People have got false hope believing that one day they will get an agent and then become very rich. It won’t happen. Just enjoy your writing and see how far you can get with your own endeavours.

@alandavies3727 2 года назад

How many books have you writing Alyssa? My guess is none. I really don’t know how anybody can give advice when they have never written a book themselves?

@alandavies3727 2 года назад

These agents haven’t got a clue of what will be a success or not. They turn everybody down. It’s almost a waste of time sending anything to these people. Best thing to do is publish your work yourself. Then get a PR professional team to market your work. The PR team will cost about £100. Per month. These people are better than agents, and you don’t have to pay them any commission. Don’t put up with these agents anymore.