Why Men Respond To Distance And Chase When You Give Them Space 

exactly

Exactly

Have you found a guy like that

🙌🏽 💯

I back this. Distancing yourself from me will heavily work against you. It tells me you're not interested, and I move on.

True

Always move on from crawl backers.

No, I am a man not a woman, that doesn't hurt my feelings because I am not weak honey

Femincel 😂

I'm going to shower you with attention and my awareness. I'm going to give you a lot of my time. I'm going to be in physical proximity to you. I'm going to touch you, hold you, cuddle you. I'm going to try to connect with you physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. I'm going to take good care of you. I'm going to care about your needs. I'm going to help you to meet your needs. I'm going to help you to survive. I'm going to shelter you from excessive suffering, fear and trauma. I'm going to have your back. I'm going to defend you and be loyal to you. I'm going to take on your agenda as my own. I'm going to make you an extension of me. I'm going to treat you as well as i would treat myself. I'm going to be happy for you when you succeed. I'm going to want for you what you most want for yourself. I'm going to sacrifice for you and work on your behalf. I'm going to support you nurture you and encourage you. I'm going to cheerlead you. I'm going to encourage your self-exploration, self-expression and self-actualization. I'm going to respect your sovereignty as a consciousness. I'm not going to try to manipulate you, control you, dominate you or exploit you. I'm going to totally accept you and never judge you. I'm going to value you for your sake and appreciate you and see your intrinsic beauty. I'm not going to need anything from you and I'm not going to make you a tool to satisfy my own needs. I'm going to respect your point of view, wanting to understand your point of view, wanting to understand you, your uniqueness, taking the time to deeply get to know you. I'm not going to force my agenda or point of view on you. I'm going to listen to you and care about your interests and share similar interests with you. I'm going to develop togetherness with you and collaborate with you. I'm going to be there for you when you're down and hopeless. I'm going to be there for you when you're lonely. I'm going to validate your feelings, sharing your emotions with you, empathizing with you. Your pain is going to be my pain. I'm going to meet you where you're at, at your developmental level. I'm going to forgive you for your mistakes. I'm going to be patient with you. I'm going to see the good in you even when you don't see the good in yourself. I'm going to be generous and kind. I'm going to give you verbal approval and praise. I'm going to compliment you on your uniqueness. I'm going to keep my promises to you. I'm going to keep my peace with you, avoid conflict with you. I'm going to tell the truth to you. You're going to be able to fully trust me and I'm never going to cash in on that trust. I'm going to see your realness, warts and shadow and all as you truly are. I'm going to deeply appreciate the finite portion of consciousness that you are and I'm going to accept your selfishness whenever you have the urge to be selfish. Now ask yourself on a scale of 0 to 10 how loved do you feel? Open Your Eyes. 😂🦘🦘🧨

@@dmtdreamz7706 amazing doesn’t ever mean perfect you wasted half an hour sounding smart and being a fool. Be blessed.

@@haridunic2351 woke terminology hurts the weak. I’m not sure what’s innately broken in your soul but I hope you heal it.

Sometimes people are just very busy, I work full time, have my own business, play football 3 times a week to keep fit, am a father and I'm renovating a house. Yeh I may have taken a bit too much on pfff... But, I tried to date a girl recently, we were talking very regularly at first but I had to dial it back because I was losing focus on some of my responsibilities, so I had to save replying to her when I was not busy with being a father and making sure my employees were getting paid etc. Please don't take this as an emotional or angry response, just an explanation for some intermittent communication. Sounds like your case may have been different, but I think sometimes people jump to conclusions about why people are not replying and because of all the games being encouraged on social media it's making people more paranoid about other's actions and motives.

@Tim Bob not taking it angry at all. I understand your position, in my opinion when your as busy as you are and dating is not a priority. As long as you informed the other person upfront, there shouldn't be a problem. Then she won't have expectations that you don't live up too. But I definitely get busy, I'm just saying communication, effective communication is imperative in these types of situations.

@@delorismartin3537 100%, I definitely made the mistake of trying too hard to make time right at the beginning of seeing the woman I mentioned, to the point that it was unsustainable and probably made me look like some kind of narcissistic love bomber. But yeh, communication is absolutely the most important thing in relationships, life, everything. You sound like you have your head screwed on well. Good luck to ya.

@Tim Bob thank you, 😊. I do as well, you seem very sweet and understanding and BUUSSYYY ..sir, lol but best wishes to you as well💜

@@delorismartin3537 Your comments are very kind... erm... Miss 😆. Same to you.

💯💯🔥

Best comment ever!

Agreed!!!

Those are toxic men

I can relate. Just want to hold one long enough to have 1 more kid or 2 then I'm done. Live the rest of my life in peace.

Lol I said that 2yrs ago now am bored

Right!! That push and pull dynamic is draining😮‍💨

We work together so everytime he see me,he start conversation but I ignore him

@@hildathamid7741 So your ignoring him because you like him and want him to chase you or do you ignore because you don't like him at all?

I disagree some people get attached when your ebkr always there and others resend you when you're all up under them. I've heard pkenty of men say this. It's not about ignoring all the time it's about not being needy and giving healthy space while having your own life. No need to be needy and guy crazy and oversaturate yourself in his life.

@@SR77736 Exactly!

Men fall in love through absence .. it makes their imagination and desire for you run wild.

Amen correct

@@SR77736 the only men you’re hearing say that is not majority of men. Majority of men are single and lonely and invisible to the majority of women. The only men that you hear saying that are the players or the guys with alot of status in Highschool/college. Your average Joe guy that works at Wendy’s has never said that, and would probably love a women to be very close to him.

7 years is a long time to have a fiance

​@@sweetcapricorn Maybe she meant they've knowing/dating each other for 7 years and he just recently became her fiancé. At least I hope so

You may have missed the point of what she’s saying. She said if you spend too much time IN THE WRONG STAGE of the relationship, then it may cause an issue. ....and course, there are always exceptions to the rule. But what she’s saying is tried and true. 💛

@@chocolatechunks07 okay. I respect your point of view. I do agree with it as well. That's why I stated "At least I hope so" I aware of that knowledge for sure👍

Exactly! Why be with someone if you have to play mind games for them to continue to love you

F

Great point.

This is so true .. nd it doesnt matter also .. that person🙄🙄 to b frank ....zindagi game nhi h koi ... live ur own life .. have fun ..

True

A lot of men won’t chase simply because they don’t see the point in pursuing girls who feel like they have use distance to stir emotions. From their perspective unneeded distance is just screwing them around, or they’ll just think you’re not interested and won’t pursue because who would pursue someone who’s disinterested,

Exactly 💯...I think mirroring the energy is just good ...and you also get it have Ur own peace...amd not having to depend on him for ur happiness

Exactly honestly overthinking these things gets overwhelming and it can easily make you lose yourself. I had the best relationship with my first love in undergrad because we were both real with one another. No games no push and pull nonsense, it was so easy and simple. That’s my kind of relationship, I don’t have have time and energy for the bs. The only thing was that I made it clear that I will walk away for any bs and he knew I was serious and that’s what made him act right. I didn’t have to act like a fever dream 😂

Yes not everyone the same different person different story so don’t apply this

Agreed, it all depends on the people and each scenario is different, only you truly know...

Yeah u r right

Exactly! I kinda played hard to get (unintentionally) and now I lost the chance to be with the love of my life

I am like the same though I love my guy so much but I need space

9ys??? Woww he got sik off being together that he realise he needed space forever from you? Interesting... he needed lots of space... lots of space until he got all space in world. Great

This ‼️

Facts

Absolutely , plenty more FISH IN THE SEA :•)))

The option game!

thats so true i can confirm because ive been that person running back 💀

That’s not how I see my friendships. Usually I enjoy being alone majority of the time so for me if I want to be around you all the time, friends or romantic interests, that means I really like you and value you as a person.

I used to be that person 😆 but really after stop caring about what other thinks of you I actually got friend who is actually my type and it is better to have 1 good friend than group of fools .

@@BlackGirlLovesAnime6 it’s a same for me. It feels good knowing that there are other people that think like this too.

@@kimbley6451 lol I never knew this was strange 😂

Problem arises if both partners are ' woke'. That can be the end of a relationship

@@melmel7011 If both are woke and healthy I guess no hunting games take place. They either know that they are made for each other or that they re not. If there is pride in asking for forgiveness or there is difficulty in accepting an apology because of egoism then healing has to take place on either side before the union.

That is so true when you stop caring is when you kill thier ego!

@@valenciastarkey7240 yes, you kill the relationship.

Yeah then you can find out they’re a pyscho after you are stuck with them

@@judyperri9496 or they just get comfortable and like the status quo

100%

Then you will see their true colors of any kind

Best comment under this video. If someone is interested in you, he/she will always try to reach you and want to be you. If not, why bother. You just live once, use your lifetime preciously, respect your boundaries.

True

Fucking A right, great comment!

stg this channel is pushing garbage advice to keep ppl single

@Neha 💯

same thing that happen to me before i chase him but i realize i need to distance myself to him now hes chasing me but im careful now not to get hurt

Same thing happened to me. I really liked him and was so hurt when he led me on then ghosted me but kept reappearing in my fb messenger and playing head games with me. Always had an excuse why he couldn't see me but didn't struggle to hang out with other people without a problem and brag about his "awesome day" on social media. I finally got sick of it, I moved in and met someone else a month later and the jerk tried to come back to see if I was still into him lmaoo. I kindly rejected him and never looked back.

This is so beautifully said! Thank you for that ❤ So true.. if men know they know if we are the one. Keep our boundaries and take time, and if the men is not investing or showing interest, we are also not interested or begging for attention!

Completely

@@Positivity_bringsLove block him. I did 4 months later he found a way.

1000% i love this me and you on same page

you are so right

That´s just not reality for the majority. Men and women play games in dating - not when in a relationship but certainly in the initial stages otherwise you run the risc of pushing the other away if you come on too strong

@@misspeacelove7395 rather push away, the people who are supposed to stay and know what they want aren't pushed away by a strong personality of someone who demands one to decide, commit ,resolve or nothing

@@misspeacelove7395 I agree with you

Sorry to tell you this but you need to read the Book "The New Rules" by Fein and Schneider. You have to give them space or they lose interest and get bored. It's just how it is. They need time and space to miss you. They take you for granted if you are always available.

So true. Also, if you have to get a man to chase you while dating, imagine the work necessary to keep him chasing during marriage! What a mess!

Amen V D.... Its exhausting following this. One should love and accept you as you are.... Trying this which i have messes us up

@@vhayashi7369 yes, space is necessary. It's crucial actually. But I never waste my time with a man who is into chasing illusions.

Totally agree my babe wants to be around LS me every day it makes no difference we just can’t because we have work

Facts I got a toxic trait

What do you do in the cases where you don’t want to appear too into her?

Exactly, he doesn't write because waiting me to do it. I don't write to him because waiting he to do it. No one writes, there's silence. But ...he screwed it up that is why he has to do it.

I concur! ☺️

@@beccawhite1887 ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Every woman has high value..u just dont realize ur value because u dont value ur self before. May be by choosing a man who dont value u.

He actually did you a favor, showing who he is. So you can move on quickly

Being a high value women, you mean a virgin, submissive, peaceful women?

the toxic men can still want hurt and pheen for u while sleeping with her

He was already cheating. Don’t beat yourself up about it. If a man is really interested he will be present no space needed! 😊

💯

For sure too bad this isn’t the most liked comment and most of the idiot viewers are eating this bs up and applauding it

I heard narcissists do this or very innexperienced people.

Thanks Gisela. Really appreciate your support ❤️.

I'm starting to believe women are supposed to vet the men they're least attracted to. Because I feel like the more physically attracted you are to a man, leads to infatuation & leads to chasing on the woman's part

Why do some men do that? Which inner thoughts and motivation leads them to do what theu do in your explanation? Greetings from Belgium🇧🇪

Read attachment theory and it might help you understand why he does that. He might be anxious . Hope that helps !

@@THATGIRL0121 he is dismissive avoidant attachment

@@allaboardthegravytrain5987 i am avoidant also but I’m working through it. Depending on his age and relationship patterns , I’d say when you’re ready and willing, consider letting him go as an option.

He is not confident about you being the right person for him long term. He comes back to satisfy his ego through convenient sex. This keeps you stagnated. Don't waste your best years on him, he will eventually leave you for whatever better option he is holding out for. You will need to be the one to end the relationship because he will continue to waste your time for as long as you allow him to. You will look back at this as wasted youth, wasted energy, and intentional deprivation of love, affection, and intimacy. Move on and find someone who is sure about you being the one for him to cherish. Take care. ♥️

Run. He will drain the life out of you. He is not stable and trustworthy and compromizing your sanity, health. He is probably to bussy with his own self and is disregarding you. He is willing to lose you by behaving this way. Not a good sign.

Thanks Claudia.

Love this, thanks for it

Thanks , needed this !!

Affairs? Maybe you're the problem, lmao. Skanky women will be skanks.

Real men don't play games ; boys do

My Spanish uncle did never chace a woman. Many women wanted to date him, but he was not interrested. He only saw 1 woman once he was really interrested in and courted her to know her. She agreed. He wanted to start a family in his early 20's and knew exactly what he wanted in a woman and in life. He knew that she was different than other women. She was decent, serious, a hard worker, decent dressed and not revealing the body like we see now everywhere on women. Never sweared or using faul language. He knew she would be a decent mother with values, morals, high standard. She was youngrr still going to school and said to him... First i want to fullfil my studies then work and after that i would like to marry. No sex before being married. He respected all her boundaries and courted for 8 years! She also said, if she discovers during this period he dates other women or has sex with, she will end the courtship and move on without him. He respected that 100% He only saw HER as the future mother of his children and wife. He wanted a stable household for the children so they can live and study in school in peace to succeed the studies and work later on in good jobs. The children had to study and where prohibited to go dancing, drinking alcohol, having sex without marriage first, where supervised and where not allowed to do foolish things. Both where on the same page on this all. Both hard workers and she stayed home for a while to raise the children until the children where in their teens, so she started a part time job at a lawjers office. My uncle is a very serious man and was never interrested in chasing as a hunter, to get laid or play hot and cold or whatever stupidity. He did not see the point to waste his years and went right away looking for a decent woman and intelligent, capable woman to be a mother and capable of doing all the chores and work. She was stable and had the right mindset. He also did not like women who where partying, drinking alcohol, using cigarettes, using faul language, to ordinare women, women with low standarts, morals and behavior that is unsustainable and used his head when choosing a woman. He would never break the family unit or go to women, destroying marriage and household. He knew also she would never acceot such behavior. If she would of behaved nasty, look at men, going out to party or would of been someone not virgin, he would never of married her. He thought...if a woman had sex allready in that age without being married, she must be a player, not serious, weak, a man lover, not that serious and stupid in general with low intelligence, no values, morals, ethucs and low standards, so he would of stopped courting her. He never wanted a woman like that and mother of his children. Still married. Kids all studied and have good job and good marriages themselves, are themselves both serious also. They are in their 80's now.

Glad you find it helpful!

It's ok to be scared, falling In love is scary, make sure you focus on your career or school first. If you are set up make sure that person is set up because it's good that both of you have goals in life and work out then you won't have anything to fear because you both will be busy staying focused and giving each other free time. Take this advice from someone who had many failures.

@@Trysaratop Thabks Sara I needed to hear that. Yes we're both busy working in different areas. So hopefully I'll calm myself down so we can take things slowly to get to know one another!

Keep being distant, so he can move to another one.

@@charlieromeu5748 I think he already has. 🤔

Run. This is the type of man who will "mold" you into his fantasy instead of liking/loving you for who you are. Not worth it

Um 😐 This channel is to advise women. She’s at no point said break up for a month. The intelligent women listening know she means stop contacting him constantly. And give him some breathing room. I have been married more than 20 years- being soft and giving space is extremely effective.

Sounds like a hurt person

Who's this person?? Try understanding first before writing a comment.

This women never stay. The distance, pull and push will make her insecure and scared. A scared and insecure woman will deteriorate and she will at the end protect her sanity and leave. Never play games to make a woman insecure. It is unrespectful and stupid to do. Both of you lose everytime. Never see how far you can go with playing, manipulating. A woman feels this bad vibes. When she feels you are using this tricks, she will have negative emotions.

Decide what you can offer to the table and channel your high vibe woman energy!

Never take things for granted. Have his back. Do nice things together every month or week. Date eachother. Be glad to see him, comming into the door. Flirt with your man. Look with love in your eyes. Cook ones in a while his favorite dish. Plan together things. Never use faul language. Buy the books from John Gottman. This books are so important and his insights to not ruin relationships.

Oh thanks

😂

Thank you 💗

Babe maybe u gave him space for sure physically but not from your mind inside you alwas thinking about him and had put him on pedestal ?…sorry for my bad English

@@onlypositivevines4498 i thought about him here and there . It could that but putting him on the pedastal i didn't but he knew or felt i loved him. Anyways it's over and off to fresh start.

@@uzougwu1511 sure love yourself nd fuck the world and don’t look for men and see the magic 🥂😉….god bless u

He did this to find space, because he did not want to be with you totally all in. He was not shure, or not ready, or not really interrested and wanted still his freedom to evaluate the relationship. Men want sometimes time for themselves, but will do that in both's interrest without making you insecure.

A serious man does not value games, not even chasing. He looks intentionally for a future wife and mother of his children. A serious man knows time is money and does not waste time on the chace, hot/cold. He wants a partner for life to have a ballanced secure life, so he can focus on its job, career... He knows a good woman is necessary to have a stable household and a serious woman who is capable to manage on her own a household and life. He wants quality not quantity.

He is a narcissist and playes with you, seeing how far he can mess with you. To see where you boundaries are and selfrespect lays. This do often narcissists. They do not change. See Dr. Ramani Durvasula on narcissists, psychopaths and so on. See Prof Sam Vaknin. Maybe those help you. Also> R.C. Blakes. Tony Gaskins.