I'd prefer a guy that texts me consistently and checks up on me, makes effort to see me and I will mirror his effort back. Distance is a turn off, eventually I forget about the guy and move on to someone that actually gives me attention, I want to feel loved, not like an after thought
I agree I'd rather have someone who's interested in me without me having to act that I'm not interested in them LOL. I would like a guy who is consistently my friend and my beloved. Someone who cares enough to check on me and walk out this life with me. It seems that it may take men longer to get to this point where they're matured enough to desire someone who truly desires them
I have done the distance technique only when I felt he was becoming complacent and not making efforts. Then I did the good ol' "boy, bye!" and severed ties and he never became complacent again!! Its been 15 months since we got "back together" and every so often I'll let him feel a bit worried about my commitment to him and he has been on point and gives me full attention! All the time! We've been together 5 years now and, until I started doing this distance technique 18 months ago, he took me for granted. Not anymore. He moved me in, spoils me rotten and talks about marriage now all within the last 15 months.
@@iamvenus7897 Exactly!! THIS is what he means. It's not playing games it's taking care of YOU first. Simply just having a life, and if you are together just always remain into "you". SOME Women do get clingy and either want a LOT of attention or they always overdo it GIVING to Him. Real Men want to give to YOU. Some men naturally take you for granted because they know they "HAVE YOU" and you just have to "jolt" them back. Challenge them again. Bring that mystique. That's normal. Vice versa. I am glad it worked for you. Blessings.
He is right.. I know many very handsome and good quality guys crazy after average looking women... just because these women are nice and sweet but they don’t put the guy on pedestal on the contrary they make those guys believe they are lucky to have her... 100% agree with Alex on this putting yourself on pedestal but still be nice to guys
Dumb stupid ego mind games. So what else is left? You're boring & too needy if ur too available..? But isn't it good to know ur partner or the one who loves u is someone who'll always have ur back & "be there" for u ? Crazy way to have a descent relationship..
Ladies, never make them get too comfy. After our child, i lost weigh,opened my company, went back to school...My husband doesnt know who the hell iam anymore. He used to put me down. 🛀🐎💪🌋💆🌴💃🍹🚀
NOTES: Important book: The Science of Influence by Robert Chargini People value what they don't have. 1) Distance makes you a challenge. Be a challenge. 2) Put yourself on a pedestal. Give yourself importance. 3) Women are usually needy. Women should use distance. Don't play games. You won't play games-- but you will really FOCUS on your OWN life. Do the things you want to do. Love yourself & live a fabulous & happy life. Merci Alex!
@@nofybn7794 Yes and no... endless communication is boring, tiring and can be a total lust killer.. Humans need also some good mystery, surprises and adventure aka challenges.. That is what life is about.
Omg it worked... I didn't text /call him.. Next morning at 6 am. He called me for 15 times that where r u? Say that you love me... Hahaha. He was the guy who used to say that he is always busy...
Distance is about being busy with life. For mature ppl not responding straight even with a short "will get back soon" is the only proper response. Just be busy and honest
Just live your life ladies for you. Otherwise you are chasing games, that's the common thing with relationship advice. Play the game to get the man or just live your life and stop worrying about the man. As it would happen then you get the man lol. Just laugh and have a great life hey xxxxx
I agree, this is simply just game playing. What he is saying, it's not healthy at all.Rather than a man be happy and appreciate that you love him, now he feels that he's secure and can distance himself? Now that just sounds immature.he is speaking from a different layer of psychology and unfortunately the reality of the thought process of narcissist. His title should be"how to keep your narcissist happy and wanting you"bulshit I say. Yes, better to be single and very happy I am to
Giving him sex (outside of marriage) is giving away our essence with no solid commitment. So while you give awesome advice, I believe the sexual intimacy piece should be reserved for marriage. And even then we should continue to put ourselves on a "pedestal"
I agree... But it's difficult or pointless if one is not religious. Guys will just move on to the next chick who is willing to give it up. He won't stick around for long or he may not have sex with u and appear to be in a commited relationship while he's sleeping with someone else.
To each her own...religion aside...we make soul connections/ties when we sleep with men. Creating soul ties with a smorgasbord of souls contributes to so much of the dysfunction we see today. A lot of the mental health issues, insecurities, never really getting the love we truly want, the rampant mysandry...not to mention the physical consequences... STDs, baby murder (in and outside the womb), children out of wedlock... and I'm just scratching the surface. We are all fallen creatures. So any kind of relationship could be a major risk. That said waiting for marriage with a solid, vetted partner...will cut down the list considerably. Bottom line...we are supposed to guard our hearts. Self preservation through healthy boundaries is not a religion thing...it's a wisdom thing
very good advice "I am a Queen", " my body is a temple "(cant give my energy and time to a loser who is after one thing) and I "put myself on a pedestal" and I not only am "I worth it" but "putting tax on my self worth" let the congregation say amen!
You are so right. I am keeping the distance and I feel good about myself. If he really loves me, I believe he will be back, if not he is not the one for me. Again, I am focusing on me!.
Spoiler Alert...the right ONE will not play these games. They will want to be with you period! They won’t leave you because they actually want your company and won’t risk losing you to someone else 🤷♀️
Thank you Alex!!!! I put myself on the pedestal!!!! The guy who I will call the non committal guy (NCG).. Has been on my phone and has been calling, texting and checking my FB page because I put the DISTANCE between us! This is not a game. This is a strategy to validate my own life and love myself and Mr. NCG is very interested and chasing me. Alex, I'm more focused on living my best life now instead being focused on loving him! It's been almost a year with Mr. NCG and after I started using DISTANCE , he practically wants more of me - and not just physically! Thank God for the Strategy of DISTANCE! I put myself on the pedestal and now he is trying to climb up with me! Thanks ALEX !!! You are the man!!!!
Merci beaucoup! I have been living a busy life. The key for me has been making a list of things I want to do and start doing them alone. I save NOTHING for what I "could do one day" with a man. That's why I don't feel the need to lean on or wait on a man. Romance is the inside layer of icing. My life is the CAKE!😁🍰
The only problem with the waiting game or play distance, is that can backfire on the man. Coldness from a woman can mean a loss of interest or she has started to look a field...
Coming from a non-western (Asian) culture, I can apply your tips in my own life successfully without losing my identity, femininity nor compromising my beliefs, culture & values. All I can say Alex, is that ALL of your videos are far superior compared to the ones made by other male dating experts that I watched here on RU-vid. Most of them teach women how to CHASE MEN, LOWER PERSONAL STANDARDS & just settle with men who will respond to their chase and pursue superficial, temporary, unhappy relationships- all of which I find incompatible with everything I am. YOU, on the other hand, make men naturally pursue women for committed & genuine relationships by sincerely giving us logical, practical & effective advise. We learn how to love & value ourselves first and in the process of gaining self-respect & self-worth, we attract great men that value & love us too. Thank you for being a voice of reason!
Distance makes your heart grow fonder. Thank you for your advice for how to deal with people that are too needy and want everything to happen in your life. First that i need to take care better of myself before i get back into an relationship.
Such good advice! Youre right its NOT a game. We women should ACTUALLY be busy and distant because we should be working on our own goals and living our lives outside of men. Ty for sharing such valuable information that some people dont want to hear since it challenges the ways they've gone about dating in the past. It's never too late to level up, ladies. Lol
I watched and followed your advices and it really works for me.. especially the no contact rule. I was the one whose very needy before, but now, the situation changed, he keeps calling and texting me and wondering Why i dont answer right away unlike before.... I realized, you just have to be confident with yourself and love yourself more... Thanks alex!!! - Shiryl Dawn
Hey Alex, love your channel from Johannesburg in South Africa. Distanced myself this past weekend after feeling like I was taken for granted, Sunday night I deleted his number then on Wednesday evening he texted me saying we need to talk. I guess being too available for a man makes him take you for granted but the moment you pull away he's all in your face. Men are weird!!!!
Yes! Being too available definitely does! Have him plan dates, no last minute plans. It’s hard but sit in your hands even if you asked for his number first.
I was trolling RU-vid this morning at 6am, and found your channel. I have watched a lot of relationship videos, but yours have resonated with me the strongest. I've been single for years and for whatever reason i just cannot get men to notice me at all romantically. I feel like I always end up "one of the dudes" or worse...invisible. I'm sure it's how I am projecting, but not sure how to identify or change that. Your videos have made sense though and given me some things to work on. Thank you!
I may confirm this very true i have tried this more than once and it worked. Its never easy but i tried hard and i got my man chase me more than once. I came to comment to appreciate your words of thoughts.
Thanks for all your encouraging love tips Alex. You give hope to hopeless romantics. All your videos are not boring bec of your interesting advice with your on point explanation plus your cute French accent. Merci beaucoup.
its TRUE, I went on a vacation my guy was looking on facebook to see what I am doing...he does not have facebook, so he most of used someone's ...he called, wanted to know if I got a new car, did I drive there?? Then he called when I got back to see if I made it back okay. He's never acted like this in years I've known him....it was the distance...lol
Such a good point.. I think so many people have been in "manipulationships" in the past, where the distance was a cold/ abusive withdrawal of attention. But if you think about it guys that are too needy/ available aren't that attractive. So distance makes you more attractive
This video among all of his is absolutely correct, u have to live your own life, be a constant challenge for him to chase u and yourself confidence will attract him
I like your soft and warm tone! Thank you for your advise. I know this is the best state to feel it. I would love to ad one point. Don’t try to get control, by doing this. Try to learn to become free and flowy and happy with your live and you will be in your purest feminine state of mind.
Absolutely AGREE, distance works! and if you have to do it more than one or twice...do it! It's not hard at all even when you love the guy, if you have a life of your own.
You have to love urself first in order to love another person. Just do u ladies & once a man sees ur worth, he'll be all over u 😉 ..take care of urself, its called the law of attraction 😊❤💕
I just started to watch your channel...all you talk about it's so true...from my first experience ...I learned to distance myself from relationship... its work ...man knows what kind of woman they want...as a woman I value myself ....if it meant to be will be...
As an introvert this is easy as heck for me. I currently have 3 guys chasing me simply because I'm a hermit who likes her space. Didn't promise them anything or lead them on. But they're going nuts bc they think I'm mysterious when in reality im just like "I need my space!!!! Stop texting me! Lemme alone!" Ugh, and they say women are complicated Men are definitely strange creatures
Distancing doesn’t always guarantee that he’ll come back. I was asleep when my crush got back to me which made me missed out on his texts. When I woke up I was blocked from replying to him. His possessive ex jeopardized my chances. I then had to move on by blocking him and unfriending him on Facebook. Never really intended to end this friendship but I had to. Now he’s moved on and most likely forgotten all about me.
Thank you for this video, Alex. I have been struggling because I had to end a relationship with a very bad man, so it has been difficult to hear about how to keep one. I will definitely never be so giving again. It was a long distance relationship, and I wasn't needy, but I did have certain standards that he refused to respect. He was cheating on me with at least two different women and pretending to be in love with me. Luckily I found photographic evidence, because he was stupid. When I do meet the right man, I will bear what you have said in mind, but I don't wish to keep a man who would treat me so terribly.
This is factzzz I was always available and he started that hot and cold then I got tired 5 months we been talking.. I block him I ignore his txt is driving him crazy but I’m afraid is due to I’m into no more I’m so distant but I live across the street lol I never bump into him I walk the other way come out when he not around is crazy but it do work..
Love, energy and attraction for yourself. I know it's true. Sometimes it's hard to maintain. Like when you are in a situation that repeatedly hammers on your confidence. You repair, heal and it happens again.
In the original Grimm version of the story, the frog's spell was broken when the princess threw it against the wall.... Dear Alex, your coaching is all about that.
And this is what I miss how would fight for me and now he just behaves so entitled to everything ..and take me for granted makes me doubt myself not understanding what I’m doing wrong
