Why MORE Is Sometimes LESS Effective for ADHD Brains 

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This is hard because I want to do ALL the things. Then I get overwhelmed by all the things.

One thing that helps me is replacing 'should' with 'can'. I feel there are so many things I 'should' be doing. So I try replacing 'I should do X' with 'I can do X'. And if that statement isn't true, and 'I can't do X', because I'm tired, overwhelmed, etc, then I don't.

“Design your life.” is one of my mottos. Good design is not about adding things, it’s about removing things. Getting rid of the elements that don’t add to the success of the design. Fun Fact: I’m a “professional” graphic designer when I’m not making a fool of myself on RU-vid.

Another great example is to get organized in the kitchen isn't always to get "better storage containers", but for me, it was to take off my kitchen cabinet doors so I can SEE everything I have to eat, and it goes bad much less.

Simple is always better for my brain. Doesn’t mean I want it though🤣

For me, I find that giving myself permission to be creative and reflective (i.e. not studying for school every hour I'm awake) is more impactful in my development than any university class I've taken. Self-care is not selfish care.

in Turkish we say that "Ambitious is the cause of harm." Thanks for video

This year, I dropped out of my master’s program. The MFA I’ve always wanted to get has to wait until I can afford the emotional energy to pick it up again. Taking it off my plate officially has increased my quality of life astronomically.

My therapist once ordered me to stop all nonessential activities like this and it really helped. The activities and obligations creep back though. Time for s redo! The first time i actually had to tell people it was on doctor's orders to get them to stop complaining and pleading. But no it was so worth it! ! That was before my ADHD diagnosis...

Sometimes, especially for ADHD brains, simpler is better :)

Thank you for existing, literally. I love this channel with my whole heart. I'm going through hard time, and what's making it harder is that I'm not getting ADD treatment. But you always help me through, whenever i feel down i watch your vids and you never fail making me feel better. I'm not alone, and everything is actually going to be okay. You inspire me, keep going. Xx

And that's on *Setting Boundaries* Setting boundaries often forces that "take away" step to help promote not just self care but productivity.

I haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD by a professional but I always relate to these videos so much it’s overwhelming. I don’t know if I really have it but this channel has been extremely helpful, I’m so happy I could find this channel!

Absolutely! Managing a Chanel with adhd has been challenging. It's been fun too and an amazing journey. I've tried adding things to be more organized which just added to the distractions and its was a mess! Now I've got 1 phone but still multiple accounts. Guess what, it's easier. Less is definitely more. Thank you for sharing this. Really appreciate this! Your channel is amazing and I continue to sharing it withing education as many are still confused about what we experience daily.

"Condensing" can be another way to look at it if "deleting" things is too stressful a concept to consider. You're SO right about all this and it's amazing how we need to be reminded that adding more things to process doesn't reduce what we have to process, it just reduces our cognitive working space.

And that's exactly what I did by not jumping into another fancy corporate 70 hour a week job, but instead taking one with 32 hours, just to pay the bills, but having the time to sit down and think. We really need to stop rushing.

Oh my goodness, thank you. I've been trying to get rid of all sorts of things lately to help, since feeling like having more kitchen tools, clothes and art supplies will spur me to keep up with housework and practice, when in reality it just makes me feel guilty and trapped beneath things. After talking to my partner about feeling guilty about getting rid of stuff because it cost money, he assured me that that's no reason to keep something that's causing stress and clogging up space. I feel optimistic about cleaning now and making my home a pleasant place to be. Your videos have been so helpful over the past couple years, thank you for creating this channel!

"Small steps lead to big results" -- the best tidbit from my Coaching Psychology master's.

I've been thinking this recently how I used to feel so guilty running behind on my errands or things like laundry and then I thought about it like it's really not a big deal. It's not hurting anyone and lifting that burden made it a bit easier to be more productive because I no longer felt weighed down by that guilt.

I'm currently in the process of waiting for an appointment to pursue an ADHD diagnosis after being misdiagnosed with a different mental health condition I am 110% certain I do not have. It never clicked for me the therapies for that condition, the medication has never worked, and I never felt like my experience lined up with that of people who have that condition. Finding this channel was a breakthrough for me: I was finally seeing something that looked like me. I put things into place and I've tried things you've suggested in your content and they work! So thanks, for your part in getting me to pursue the correct diagnosis and get the help I actually need!

Brain here, and deciding to declutter essentially every aspect of my life has been one of the best decisions I've ever made - been at it for nearly 5 years (it's not a "one and done" kind of thing - it's a long ongoing process, so don't be discouraged if you decide to try it and can't get it all done in one weekend), and I've never been happier! My life went from chaotic with frequent meltdowns to calm and essentially zero meltdowns, with only the occasional one after several days straight of someone flat out insisting on cluttering up my space with unnecessary things - visual clutter is one of my biggest enemies, and if I'm having a hard time getting something done, whatever it may be, 9 times out of 10 it's due to visual clutter. It no longer takes me 2 weeks to clean and get ready to have overnight guests - now, it's just a few days (for someone with a lot more energy than me - I have to spread it out over a few days due to limited energy - it would probably take him or her just a few hours: dust, vacuum, clean the bathroom, make a bed), while still not wearing myself out to the point of exhaustion.

Thank you, Jessica, Dani's TikTok hit hard. If I'm already "not doing" something I've commitment to, it's a sign that I'm not ready for the commitment.

It’s good advice. There have been lots of times where simplifying, slowing down or taking tasks of my to do list have helped. The problem is there have also been times when doing something turned out to have a massive benefit. The trick is getting is in making good decisions. I have just realised that I cannot work in a micro managed environment as it puts far too many ‘to dos’ and checking ive done things ‘the right way’ and it just led to mental exhaustion

Bcs of u i finally wasn't ashamed about my ADHD and first time like forever i had courage to get help. So thank you your Chanel is making my ADHD life a bit better (and easier to handle cause i know im not the only person struggling )

Hello! 🤘 Jessica, one of the most useful things I've retained from your channel was from your interview with Eric Tivers, when he said "Do less, more." This has helped me tremendously to avoid taking on too much. Since then I've been "clearing my plate," on a fairly regular basis. This approach works! Thank you, as ever. 🙏🙏🙏

This year I’m working on ‘hiding’ all my stuff. Organization systems with less visual clutter and putting all my supplies away behind decorative bins and boxes. I’m finding that I really do need only one or two tasks to be visible at a time if I’m going to focus.

I want to share a quote from Do It On A Dime, another great channel I watch: "Less is PEACE." I think that statement fits extremely well with this topic. It actually makes more sense than "less is more," if you think about it. And I have thought about it a lot lately! I've been working on improving my organization and time management (as always) and I realized that one of the things holding me back from focusing on my writing was the fact that my surroundings were distracting me. I'm a planner addict, and so I had a whole shelf near me full of various kinds of bullet journals, regular journals, traveler's notebooks, and planners. I decided to box up those journals and planners and get them out of my field of vision because here's what was happening: I would sit down to write and that shelf would catch my eye. I'd see a particular planner/journal/notebook and think "Ooh, what do I want to use that one for?" or "Hmm, do I want to switch to that one?" And so my mind was pulled away from writing and would fall into the planning rabbit hole. After I removed the distraction, I filled that space with books related to my writing, and bam! Inspiration and motivation restored! It wasn't a perfect solution--I still get distracted by other clutter around me--but it did help a lot. So yeah, I'm implementing that concept of "Less is PEACE" everywhere that I can now. It's become my new motto. lol Hope this helps somebody out there who's like me and gets easily distracted by things on the desk or near it. Thanks, Jessica, for another awesome video! 😊💖

I've been working on decluttering (actual stuff), but in the meantime, I've also been trying to declutter my life. I've recently cut out Discord and (most of) Twitch. Both of these were things I picked up over the course of the pandemic to supplement socialization, and I recently realized that networking with people was adding more stress than helping. I've also been trying to be better about not adding additional commitments to my life at the moment while I take on the large task of decluttering my home. It was this channel that made me even think that I might have ADHD (just a couple months ago) , and while I still haven't been officially diagnosed, just the shift in knowing that I'm not lazy, but I need to come up with strategies that work with my brain... it sure kickstarted my motivation to even think about taking on this project. Thank you so much for this channel! Keep up the good work!

A lot of people think that they should add something which might make things better for them but in reality, they might have to take things from their life. From my opinion - The lesser things are in your life , the better it is. (excluding personal loss)

The feeling of being overwhelmed is probably the thing I feel the most. Thank you for another great video :) !

it’s crazy how you manage to upload things that apply to people’s situation right when they need it. i just had a minor breakdown this weekend and realized i needed to take shit off my plate for the time being. what i’m doing is important, but i need a break to reconsider what i’m doing with my life/time. thank u :)

I cannot stress enough how good it feels to realize that you can let things go. I have major FOMO and procrastination and so many interests, so I always feel behind. I have goals from over 6 months ago that I haven’t done because they aren’t time sensitive. And I think I just need to let some of them go. Thanks so much for making this video, i think everyone needs to hear this, ADHD or otherwise

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for these videos. A few months ago my 18 year old daughter told me she thinks she might have ADHD. I started watching your videos just to get an idea of what she might be going through and my eyes have truly been opened. Not only to her struggles, but my own...ADHD is hereditary and she truly didn't fall far from the tree. Thank you for creating videos that are easy to understand, ADHD friendly and that are packed with valuable information. She spent last year in a dorm room, 600 miles away, during a pandemic and I could really see her struggles. In the fall she is moving to an apartment with a friend, still 600 miles away, but we are starting to implement some of your suggestions to help make this year less stressful. Thank you so much, what you do really does make a difference in people's lives!!!!!!!

Regarding having two phones, there is ”e-sim”, which lets you have two numbers on one phone. I use that for my work- and personal phone! Helps alot.

This is something I've been trying out lately and it really, really helps. Acknowledging you don't want to do something and won't be doing it when you've been procrastinating is a huuuge relief. Also, having less projects makes me WAY more efficient--though it's a balancing act, and sometimes I have to add more to reach the right amount of stimulation to start too.

*Me watches this channel* What I love to hear: Hello brains Me: :’D i feel loved

I use to run my own business, i had to step away from and close it down. I had to close it down because i realized it was putting to much on my plate. i had to step back. I took a job i thought i was going to do well at and then it failed. For the past few month i have been in between jobs trying to find something that will suite me being hands on. You videos have helped me find me and when i am good at. It has take 40yrs for me to find videos that have put perspective on my condition. Thank you.

Whenever I see a new video, it makes me happy

Mastering this was a critical ADHD survival skill for me - and I'm so glad to hear it being discussed in public. Thank you!

I realized how hard that is for ADHD brains. This is something my therapist and I are working on. Doing less and saying “I have enough of my plate” and just don’t add yet another task to make the vicious cycle worse.

I loved it, when you said "stopped" and the music stopped playing.

Sometimes your videos are are, like, the best fortune cookie...!

I seriously feel like you read my adhd brain and know exactly what I need advice on each week!! A little correlation to what you talked about regarding not doing it perfect and Making a mental note that the world didn't end. Robert Glover, The author of "no more Mr nice guy" which is a book about believing in yourself, knowing your worth, and holding boundaries.. Anyway, he talks about how at first this book was just notes that he would give his patients. Then people started saying you need to publish it! Then he Started hearing, the words like best seller, Oprah etc.. he got so in his head that got years he couldn't finish it. He wanted it to be perfect. He said it almost ruined his marriage. Finally after about 6 years of having this unfinished book on his hands. His therapist told him.. "give yourself permission, to not finish it." He said that was totally what he needed. The pressure was gone. It was published shortly after. He said he was so worried about it being perfect, he got tangled up on that thought. Seriously, Jess! And to all your team! Thanks for making this channel!!

Which is why I am a minimalist :)

thank you so much for speaking to this. i’ve decided to take less classes next semester and i was feeling bad about ‘giving up’ but this video was really validating

This really helped me learn how I can help myself for achieving my goals, one main one is passing my ice skating Juvenile moves level. Thank you so much!❤️

Was just talking to my therapist about this. I wrote down my priorities and said forget it to the rest.

I absolutely share Dani's philosophy! As a result I feel so free! I feel unbundered by expectations both from the world and myself and it seriously has helped my mental health like nothing else. Admittedly I do often worry what people may think of me when I don't do things that THEY would like me to do, but the benefits far outweigh the detriments for me personally. I feel I have the ability to be truly happy when I don't accept those burdens and like Dani says, the stuff I do end up doing is stuff I genuinely want to do, which feels sooo fulfilling

A week ago I decided to drop two of my deadlines. It was so difficult to do that and the first day I felt like I was giving up. But now I can FINALLY get stuff done for my other four deadlines. I feel a lot better. Great advice Jessica!

“To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom, subtract things every day." Lao Tzu

This is sooo true! I had this xtra responsibility at work for many years that was draining me without me even noticing. luckily my boss noticed and I was relieved of that particular side of the job. After a short amount of time I feelt so much better/healthier and had so much more energy and this is also when i found out i had ADHD and learned how to manage my life in a better way...better for ME

I did this subtracting because of toxic people (and essentially dropped EVERY activity too because of it) and I got so much happier and realized that I don't need/want to overcommit! My brain got happier, my art got better, my good friendships stronger! It's amazing, thank you for putting this in words!

I just want to say that I stumbled across your ted talk the other day and I’ve never related to something so much. I fell down a rabbit hole of your RU-vid channel and I have never felt as seen. The tears have been flowing since. I feel like I belong. Thank you for sharing your life and creating this community. I’m booking an appointment with a psychologist ❤️😭

Less is more! Your videos have been so helpful, Jessica. Thanks for all you do!

LOVED THIS!!! I find it SO helpful when you mention anything related to the 'behind the scenes' aspect of youtube. I have adhd as well, and running my online business + trying to grow a youtube channel can be super overwhelming and the little bits of insight you give help + make me feel less alone.

A few months ago, after finally learning about my ADHD, I began to look around my house and yard, and really LOOK at all the projects that I had never gotten around to starting or finishing. I took a deep breath and just decided that the majority of them didn't need to be done. I hauled off materials and half finished projects, clearing away a ton of stuff that had been overwhelming me with its presence. I realized that the one things I really wanted to do was have a garden--a simple one. It has taken a lot of work and time, but I am finally getting my garden put in. I would never had my garden if I hadn't taken away all the other projects that were not actually important. I have heard this called 'creating margins'. Great video! Oh, could you do a video about how ADHD people have trouble SHUTTING UP? I need help in this area.

“What makes a fire burn is space between the logs, a breathing space. Too much of a good thing, too many logs, packed in too tight, can douse the flames, almost as surely as a pail of water would. So building fires requires attention to the spaces in between, as much as to the wood. When we are able to build open spaces, in the same way we are able to pile on the logs, then, we can come to see how it is fuel and the absence of the fuel together that make the fire possible. We only need lay a log lightly from time to time. A fire grows, simply because the space is there, With openings in which the flame, that knows just how it wants to burn, can find its way.” - Fran Mckendree

I actually never considered this but it makes sense. Thanks Jessica!

Thank you for sharing all of this. I started seeing tik toks of people with all of the problems I had and started looking into ADD and found your channel last week. I have watched dozens of them and because of you I found the motivation to schedule an appointment. I start on my meds tomorrow morning ( : I had a whole conversation in my head planned to convince my doc why I needed it and was fine with getting tested but... they didn't ask a single question.

2021 has been a tough year, I had so much on my plate and things finally came to a head at the end of May. I finally said "Okay, I need to take a step back and focus on myself for a bit." I started taking time to relax and enjoy the hobbies I had been neglecting. Having more spare time allowed me to spend time with my friends and family without feeling rushed or guilty. I was able to put more energy into my job and my to-do list has never been this empty before. Taking stuff off my plate has been the best thing I could have done, and now I'm more excited to get back to the other things when there is space for them!

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all the tasks I tell myself I need to do. This month I "needed" to get a newsletter out, but I didn't have time and kept putting it off. Just last week I gave my self permission to not do it this month. It felt so nice and refreshing, and clearing that mental space allowed me to do other things that actually helped my mental health. This video validated that experience. Thanks for that! :D

I subtracted everything apart from work and home but it took my diagnosis and the doubling of a teacher's workload due to the pandemic to make me do it. Your video is a massive affirmation of my choice as is the marking and student support I have been able to achieve this year. Thank you so much for continuing this channel. I am a Patreon brain and I recommend those that can to join too. The Discord chat has helped me too. Lots of love, NiceCostsNothing.

This is EXACTLY what I am going through at the moment... the too many things and mot knowing where my business ends and I begin.... thank you jessica, your videos always reach me at exactly the right time x

Every video I just always spot on relevant for me and this channel is one of few that have changed my life. This channel is the reason I'm on the pathway to a ADHD diagnosis, but more importantly its the reason I felt "normal" and heard for the first time in my life!

Thank you. I really needed to hear this today

love this!!!! adhd is hard and this makes things a little easier

It's absolutely amazing how simple it can be - just to remember you can subtract instead of adding (not as easy to do, but it's a good place to start) Thank you for that :)

With all the chronic health issues as well as the ADHD, when I do have a “good” day I feel compelled to do EVERYTHING to catch up, including every hobby project, spring house cleaning, friending, shopping etc. Obviously, most doesn’t get done, and I wear myself out completely trying to jump get some of it worked on. Finally getting better about letting some things slide, but it’s so hard.

I do this "take it off this plate" thing. It's been a great shift in thinking.

Sort of related: when I was living in my last apartment I didn't have a closet or a proper dresser so I simply had shelves with tote bins/baskets that I just tossed my clothes in. Wasn't the most visually pleasing system but it was functional and saved me a lot of time and brain power.

I've been minimizing our stuff because of ADHD/Mom overwhelm. The Minimal Mom talks about inventory management: "How much inventory can I realistically manage?" I haven't found my answer yet, but I know it's less that I have in my home right now. I'm not done decluttering, but the work I've done so far has already paid off. I can feel my overall stress level going down, and I don't even remember what was in the dozen or so carloads of stuff I have donated. Learning about minimalism has shifted my thinking from "what can I do/buy to solve this problem?" to "what can clear out that would give me the time and space to focus on this problem?" That answer could be physical clutter, calendar clutter, or social media cluttering up my days. It could also be something fun and good that I want to do, but right now is not the time.

This is so true! I stopped carrying a cell phone, and have told everyone to get in contact with me by way of email, instead. I check my email several times daily, now - but, it's removed the stress of needing to always be in contact. I'm in control of when I decide to check my email, and I can choose to communicate at times where I am in a good headspace to do so. As a result, I feel that I am using my time much more effectively, my ability to focus has improved, I'm spending much less time on social media, and I have seen improvements in my mood.

Your content has been so helpful for me as I am learning more about my ADHD. I’m actually applying those tips right now with my rooms and getting rid of the items that are getting in the way of me keeping it organized. And I’m also going to try and use this approach with my own content schedule. You have no idea how much your channel has helped me, please keep doing what you are doing!

Such great advice. Im on the same path in many ways. I dropped social media because it was so toxic and kept me stressed. Almost a year later taking that source of stress away gave me a lot of peace.

I recently started doing this. Taking things off my plate. And it has dramatically changed my life for the better. I feel less unnecessary guilt, less unnecessary hurt and I feel like I have some space to breathe.

Oh this hits hard. After many years of doing all the things, I started getting anxious when I had too much. So that anxiety became my stop sign. Maybe one of these days I'll even learn to stop before reaching the panic place.

wow, yeah, I used to do SO MANY THINGS because if I was doing all of the things I convinced myself I didnt have to actually try and put effort into the thing. There were a few years there where I did probably around 7 hours of dance classes a week, AND also did orchestra zero period, AND jazz band AND choir AND musicals AND attempted to still pass classes. THAT IS EXACTLY TOO MUCH!! Its almost as if I was not really a person until I quit the dance classes I had been going to for my whole life because it was so much time and energy sort of wasted on what I only mildly enjoyed. The power of doing nothing for a bit is so helpful

Totally agree, any time I get overwhelmed the solution that works is always taking as many things off my plate as possible!

YAYYYYY hey brains! I've been studying up on ADHD stuff cause I'm going back to school. Wish me luck!❤

I used to stress a lot about certain things, still do tbh. And in those cases I say to myself "If you are this stressed about it, just cancel it" and every time I do I'm really happy for that decision.

I might be late to class everyday but there's no way I'll ever be late to watch your videos!

I would like to start by thanking you Jessica and your entire team for bringing this content that I am sure helps many people like me.

In Hebrew there's a saying that goes "anything that adds detracts". It's used when you already have something good and then try to add more, overwhelming the situation. Thank you for the video, i really needed it ❤️

i’ve been clinging to a couple dead-ends in my life, in hopes that that will change the inevitable outcome. i needed this video.

It's so simple it is TRULY BRILLIANT! Love the content and keep it comin!

For some of us, who start too many things and have prioritization as a biggest weakness, taking one thing away from our everyday activity is huge. Some of my big victories have come , when i had lesser things to manage. Lesser things => Lesser Anxiety => Better chance at Not Procrastinating

Your content will always have a place in my heart mind and even my hands.

completely agree. I actually had this realization quite recently myself. Two of my jobs (freelance: one primary one is gig work and more sporadic) have hit a major slump and I was getting worried about money and started looking for extra work only to realize that the stress and disinterest I had with the new work was just taking away the time and focus I needed not only on the work I already had (and preferred) but the time and focus I need on the projects I've been trying to work on in hope to create an income and profession out of as well. I was so distresses and emotional that i was putting another obstacle in front of me keeping me from what i want to do that I broke down and quit the extra gig I had just been hired for. It made me feel so much better having that different perspective on the situation I was dealing with that my mood shifted , I was full of energy and was able to knock out the work I enjoyed and the work I'm developing. I even grabbed my camera and went to the woods to tinker with another idea that recently came to mind. My creative side was back and ready play with my imagination again.

I was recommended to start counselling recently and agreed with it for a while. However, i realise adding this commitment will actually bring more stress and give me less energy. I already do have mental health support. It sounds so contradictory.

I learned this from being unemployed for a while, but I think Covid was learning this also to a lot of People. Great video!

I have a quote that I made up but it helps me and I hope it can help you or anyone who has ADHD. Here it goes... "the things that you want and can't have it, isn't what you need". It makes a big difference to me. Keep up the good work and stay positive.

Thank you. Your work is incredibly helpful to me and my 8yr old son. This video in particular is quite a relief. Thanks for helping me feel more ok

There was a famous car builder who talked about "adding lightness". To make his cars faster he would eliminate things that weighed the cars down.

I needed this lesson so much in my life right now -- thank you Jessica!!!

I have been doing this for a couple of months now and it's really helpful. Sometimes physically creating space is needed to grow mentally. I Can really recommend

Timely! So this story is more about ADHD + grief, but still. A few months ago, my dear dog was diagnosed with cancer and went downhill much faster than we'd hoped. Prior to this I was working two jobs, exercising daily, Doulingo daily, and just generally doing really well at Keeping Up With Things. I was very proud of myself. When Loki got sick I had to take a step back and realize if I can't do the dishes tonight, I can't. If I need to pause the Duolingo and the exercising then that's just what I need to do. Not feel guilty about Not-Doing-Things, but make a conscious choice, "I am not doing this thing until I have the bandwidth for it again." And part of me wanted to be like, "But exercise and learning new things is supposed to be helpful for grief!" But I *could not juggle it all* and thus it was NOT helpful for me. I'm slowing getting back into my version of a normal life now, but I would have completely crashed and burned had I not given myself permission to say, "You know what? We're just not doing this for a bit. We can come back to it later."

The pandemic allowed me (to an extreme) to stop doing everything. It really allowed me to realize what I needed to get rid of in my life. It also allowed me to add things I have been wanting to. That being said, I never realize how much subtracting things made me feel more at peace. Love this channel 😁 Keep up the great work Jess!

I find that i go through this cycle of adding more and more to my life until i become completely overwhelmed then one of those things grows in my focus until I'm forced to quite everything else

Thank you for the video! When I do that I actually feel relieved. But self-hate starts, that I don't accomplish anything...