Why More Kids Are Coming Out As “Trans” 

In the 1950's and 60's I was a tomboy and no one cared at all. Puberty was hard on me, but I got through it. And even now at age 73, I still am a bit of a tomboy. My grandchildren like that.

Weird. It’s almost as if the less we emphasize gender roles, the less people feel obligated to clarify their gender.

The commenters who say this doctor is influencing kids need to watch the whole interview, he goes into lots of detail about how he explicitly explains to kids that just because they enjoy activities associated with another gender doesn’t mean they are trans. There are lots of policies in place to really try and ensure kids aren’t “confused”

I'm an old dude, and I'm physically intersexed. My father wanted to murder me because I was soft and girly, and thus obviously homosexual. I'm not and have never been gay. All this social confusion is liberating to me. At 61, I can finally breathe...

This is an extract of one of the best interview about the subject, they talk about transition as well as detransition with no judgement on both end, the confusion that kids have around gender identity and how this child psychologist deal with each case and the many exceptions that there are. It's refreshing to see the medical and healthcare side of the story without the political talking points. 10/10 would recommend it to anyone

I'm a straight guy in my 30s and starkly remember multiple times as a child and teen where i felt extremely weird not by my hobbies of sewing, cooking, gardening, etc... along with normal "dude activities" like high contact sports, cars, and video games... but rather that society shoved how many things I enjoyed were "gay" or "girly." Maybe if we stopped being dicks and trying to assign different sex or gender to activities kids wouldn't feel so confused or weird. In my late teens I had a conversation with a uncle who made a comment of a similar vein amd I responded "how many chefs are men??? How many fashion designers are men??? Don't men do most of the landscaping and farming??? Wtf are you on about?" And it finally clicked to him there's nothing weird at all about it.

Expressing yourself, rebelling, finding an identity, raging against the machine- *It’s what kids do* It’s what they’ve ALWAYS done

We have produced so much media about how gender norms are silly and benefit no one and yet here we still are as a society, somehow, still making kids miserable for not comforming

Wait. Are you saying there is a bunch of teenagers that are unsure where they fit in and what society is asking of them? Shocking!

In the early 1900’s hardly anybody was left handed. After we stopped beating left handed people the rate of left-handedness increased sharply. Crazy how that works huh?

I think the biggest problem with why kids are so confused nowadays is because of how strict society is on certain things, like colors and toys and clothing. None of those things have genders, a little girl liking trucks doesn’t mean she’s actually a boy it just means that she likes trucks. Same thing with if a little boy likes pink. I think we need to take the socially decided gender out of objects and such, it would be so much better.

I like how he's not beind disrespectful about either type of transgender children. It's kind of rare, actually.

I never felt like I fit in with society's expectations. I was a very outdoorsy girl who did not have domestic interests. They used to call that a tomboy. As I went through puberty I knew I was heterosexual but several times in my life had women question my sexuality due to my physical appearance (muscular and strong) and interests in things traditionally associated with men.

as someone who had gender therapy as a child. I was asked multiple times why I felt I was trans and if there was any other explanation for what I felt. even as an adult I got asked if I could be happy being in the body I was in for my whole life, I was asked if I could ever see myself being happy as a woman. I had to answer all these questions to just be put on a list for an appointment to talk about starting testosterone. there is way more pressure to be cis than there is to be trans and believe me when I say no one wants a cis kid to medically transition, that includes all the doctors they will be talking to

It's the same reason more people are open about being left-handed after the concept it was a devil symbol started to fade These people are not created, they're discovered.

If kids don't relate to gender stereotypes, it's the responsibility of the adults to clarify that this doesn't mean they're trans. It just means they're an individual and nobody is truly cookie cutter anyway.

I swung HARD into feminine stuff when I was fairly young. I loved pink, skirts, dresses- well into my teens. (Still do) and I always wore my hair long... Until I hit puberty. I got super depressed, developed an eating disorder, wanted DESPERATELY to hang out with the guys of my social group, and never understood why. My mental health got bad, and stayed that way for years... until I started to finally allow myself to learn about transgenderism. I listened to countless men, women, adults and teens speak about their experiences. I felt seen, and I hated it. I cried, violently, many MANY times about how good it felt to see myself, and how terrified I was for others to see me too. After years worth of questions, discoveries, tiny steps, and multiple research paper's worth of reading; I am finally out, and proud, as a trans man. I'm still feminine- and the child I was is still with me. I love her. It's Because I love her, I live as myself today. I'll fight as hard as I have to to keep that kid safe; and it's discussions like these that remind me I may not have to fight alone. Thank you.

I'm happy as a woman who has some masculine interests, though when i was younger i really wished i was a boy because i'd be stronger and more accepted. Girls didnt like me and boys didnt like hanging out with a gjrl. I think it'd also be nice to have more parents and society be more accepting of boys being emotionally vulnerable and girls being tougher or with non-stereotypical interests. Because lets be real, school is a wild and vicious jungle we all have to go survive through.

As someone that is a very masculine transgender man. My identity hasn’t really changed. I knew from the time I was eight where I was going to go. I was a classic case. So was my husband. We may joke about who we are but that is our joke to make. We are two transmen that love each other for who we are. We wake up each morning look at each other make jokes and have our morning coffee. We work and go to school to better ourselves. We laugh at the dogs, and snuggle at night. The only difference between us and everyone else is the fact that we had to have a couple of surgeries to feel better, but there again. That isn’t so different from how everyone else is either. Acceptance of your kids isn’t something that should have to be thought of if they are coming out as LGBT. They haven’t died. They have committed no crime. They have accepted who they are, in all the many flavors it comes in. Be happy for them. They thought of you enough to tell you. That’s what matters.

We really need to be more open about this stuff and just let kids express themselves however they want. Let's not treat it as something wrong or shameful

An important thing to touch on as well, that's not mentioned here, is that some nonbinary people do experience dysphoria, and feel the need for medical transition AND some binary trans people dont feel any form of dysphoria, or dont feel the need for medical transition In fact, many nonbinary people don't consider themselves trans

People in the comments don't seem to understand that a lot of trans people *don't* fit the stereotypes of their chosen gender. I know many trans men who are unashamedly feminine. You don't easily get being a tomboy confused with being trans. I'm kind of a tomboy myself, and while I did wonder about being trans as a teen, I quickly arrived at "I like being a masculine girl, but I don't like being called a guy." If you're not really trans you *notice.* You notice that pretending to be the other gender doesn't help you at all, or feels neutral at best. Sure, sometimes that might take the entire duration of puberty to figure out, but since when is self discovery bad?

You have to keep in mind: they’re kids. Kids do weird things. There’s no problem with them being confused about their gender identity. They’ll get through it on their own and maybe they’ll still be “non-binary” in 10 years and maybe they won’t. The important thing is you support them no matter what.

I’m in the category of having pretty evident dysphoria but being too depressed, broke, and self conscious to attempt physical transition

I am gender apathetic, I wear whatever I find comfortable and do whatever I want. Most of the time that leads me to present male, but I do have plenty of clothing that would be called girly or feminine. Also I genuinely have no preferred pronouns, refer to me however the hell you want.

When i was really little, i never felt feminine enough. All my friends would dress super girly, and i didnt understand how to *be* a girl, so i would take being feminine to an extreme. I almost exclusively wore dresses and obsessed over princesses and dolls and only wore pink, all to make up for the fact i didnt feel feminine enough on the inside, because i thought thats what i was supposed to do. That thats what i *had* to do. When i learned about being trans, i was so confused at first. I thought that *everyone* hated their gender, but that it was their duty to to act masculine/feminine. I have never really felt inherently masculine or feminine, i always just felt...genderless. I hate parts of my body, but i love others. I currently identify as agender, but i am still figuring everything out. These discussions are very important, and im glad that doctors are having them.

He's exactly right. I have a trans son, ftm, and he has clearly been a boy since day one, there's no denying he has gender dysphoria. There are a lot less kids with actual gender dysphoria, than trans kids.

Another side note is that trauma can cause gender dysphoria, and it's a valid reason to transition. For example, I've had horrible trauma with me getting taken advantage of, groomed, and my parents shielding me from older men simply because i was a young girl. All my childhood all i heard was "don't wear that, you'll attract attention to yourself" (and then it was like a t shirt or something..), "hide your hair, it's shameful to proudly show it", "no, you can't have make-up/you can't dye your hair.. you'll attract unwanted attention from men." And then when i did get hurt by those same men since i was too young to fully understand, they blamed me for it, so i grew up hating the fact that i was a girl. I hated my body with a passion, and got so depressed and so stressed that i started S/h and had an ED for the longest time, i hated my thighs for how big they were, my chest for how visible it was, my height for how short i was and more.. so i was very, VERY uncomfortable as a female. And then i found out about transgenderism, and heard from people who transitioned, and those who haven't already.. and even those who did and regretted it. And i wondered if I'd be happier as a boy. The answer was simple, yes. I would. I know boys have it tough as well, but i didn't care, i just wanted to finally feel comfortable in my skin cause therapy wasn't doing much. I told my therapist this and we started talking more about transgenderism, transitioning and such. And now, I couldn't be happier as a man. I still have that younger self with me, slowly working on healing my inner child for me and for her. And i hope that she's proud of where I've come now. Thank you for reading this. Edit: what I'm tryna say is that as long as you're happy and you're not hurting anybody or yourself.. knock yourself out.

Please remember that this is only a small clip of the interview.

This clip isn’t really doing justice to how nuanced this conversation was in full, and I’d recommend watching the full context. A lot of the comments here (“I was a tomboy!”) are addressed in the conversation. For example, some trans women are/were tomboys too!

You can also have gender dysphoria, be nonbinary, and not want surgery. And it's not just kids and this also isn't new or unique to gen z 🤷

Its important to be aware that the two kinds of trans kids described here are not two different kinds of trans kids. They are on the exact same spectrum. Gender is like different shades of color. At which point starts green to be blue? There is no objective answer, becauser there are not just two colors. And even if you expand your language and invent a third color "teal" you now have the question when starts blue to be teal. If you care about color you have a lot of words describing different shades. And if you care about gender you know a lot of words describing different nuances of gender. The cutoff point at which a cis person becomes trans is just as arbitrary as the point where green becomes blue.

hrt was lifesaving for me. gender dysphoria is a real disorder that requires treatment (like hrt) to fix. the lot of us just want to live normally like anyone else. and it always tickles me when openly transphobic people talk to me as a dude because i’m on testosterone and pass well… it makes me feel like an undercover agent 😅 you can always tell huh? love this interview

Folks, as usual, we must ask the question: WHO TF CARES. If the 10 year old says they're non binary and they don't want surgery or hormones, WHO CARES. If they cut their hair or want to use a different name, WHO CARES. It literally doesn't matter at all. Just let the kid express themselves, and if there's nothing medical going on it literally doesn't matter one bit.

I think it has more to do with how gender nonconforming kids are treated when it comes to their identity. If their parents put a huge emphasis on genitalia as a reason they have to be a certain gender, they're going to put a lot more value in the shape of their genitalia than they would have otherwise. Obviously this doesn't apply to every case of gender dysphoria, but now that many kids are allowed to express how they want without too many people close to them trying to argue against it, they aren't given the "because your private parts" excuse, and don't feel the need to change that part of them as strongly to express the way they feel is correct. You don't need to be dysphoric to be trans, although it is a major element for many trans people. I guess my hypothesis here is that the less of a big deal you make being trans, the less dysphoric kids who are going to be trans anyway will feel. For personal context, I consider myself agender. I don't like being forced into the box I was forced into my entire childhood, and my natural tendency is to view others through the lens of my own experiences (which I'm pretty sure is normal?) so I admit I might be wrong here, but this comment comes from a kindred place.

Unfortunately, some people can't understand this nuance and just want to be outraged whilst shoehorning their children into one's own ideology of what makes a boy or a girl.

I see it as identifying primarily as human, with no adopting of external societal gender norms. That’s how I have been all my life, and I am 65.

I used to indetify with she/her pronouns and was fine with it for about 15 years. But i realised that it always made me extremely uncomfortable for no reason, so i decided that i wanted to identify as gender fluid (she/they/he) ppl still call me she/her pronouns but im completely fine with it and i dont ever experience the uncomfortableness that i experienced before. Its allowed me to dress and feel the way i want.

I remember being a kid in the 2000s and thinking of myself as a tomboy because I liked things that boys around me only do. Playing with Kart Wheels, playing video games, liking scary things, explosions and action packed movies etc. But I also liked skirts and dresses (not much now because I dislike having my legs exposed and the feeling of the dress brushing against my legs (I know, very autistic (I'm borderline))), I loved barbie, especially the movies, I disney princesses and zoozoopets, etc etc. And for the time I thought I was a tomboy until I realised that no matter the gender, I can like anything I like. What I like doesn't define my gender. What does is how I see myself and how I feel about my body. I'm proud of my body, could lose some fat and weight but I'm proud to be a woman. The only times I think about what it would be like to be a guy is how they handle the bit between their legs on a daily basis and how I would dress myself up as my ideal guy. I like guys. Why wouldn't I want to be the prettiest guy that I can look at every time I look in a mirror? Still can't comprehend the bit between their legs tho. Like, how does that not bother them?

That’s me! I identify as agender, but I’m still completely fine with presenting very masculine, the way I was born. I love being feminine, androgynous, and masculine, and I’m very glad I live in a day and age where that is more accepted. I personally don’t feel like any gender, whether it’s binary or not. In my mind, I fit into nothing, so I am just agender.

Reminds me of this meme of the guy from the Simpsons saying, "Don't make me point at the sign!" And then it shows a chart of how when acceptance for left-handed people went up, the population of left-handed people went up. People stop hiding and flourish when there's less discrimination towards them. Also, Happy Pride Month, Mike! I'd be very interested if you delved into more LGBTQ topics, and I ask you to bring on trans people to your podcast when the topic regards trans ppl. I recommend asking someone like Jammidodger to join you.

I grew up in the 80s and 90s. I was a tomboy, and it made people really uncomfortable. I didn't understand why people felt I really needed to dress in skirts and like more traditionally girly activities. I got a lot of pressure and grief over being the way I was. I was even sent to stay with another family to learn to be more girly. I feel like that's similar to nonbianary now. It gives people like me the words to explain our identity to the people who just can't get over that everyone's gender presentation doesn't always look like a Sears catalog. I grew up in an evangelical, Baptist community and went to a religious private school at the time. I think they were ultimately concerned I was gay, but I didn't have any idea that it was a concern. I've never felt like I was anything but straight.

There is no increase. People just feel safe now to be who they are. Same with the gay community. There were always more of us than people thought. We had to hide until we felt safe to be ourselves

So many people are missing the god danm point in the comments. Guys, this is a literal expert on this topic. No, you don’t know more than him.

This is going to be a long comment and so I will provide a summary for those who don't have the time or energy to read it all the way through (not judging at all as I get the same thing). Summary: I was born female but rejected anything femimine and was always a tomboy, made the full transition to male. Saw a video of masculine women being butch and very much identifying as women. Had I seen that I think I would have stayed a woman. Please note: all I write here is MY experience and no one else's. The language I use is how I define my experiences and would appreciate if people don't police me on it. Also I post this to share my perspective, not start a debate. If drama kicks off then I will delete this comment, I have no patience for internet drama so easier to just nip it in the bud when it happens. I was born female and grew up as a tomboy. My family was 100% fine with that and only tried a handful of times to get me into a dress (worked one time only). I played with my brother and play football (soccer) in the garden. I played with cars and ignored Barbie's and tea sets and baby dolls. Anything feminine was just not considered. I would dress as male Disney characters such as Tarzan and Hercules. I didn't want to be Jane or Meg. Teenage years were hell. My tomboy identity was being threatened by puberty; periods and breast development. I was becoming a woman, I was having to buy bras which are typically worn by women. I found an online LGBT youth support website which had a trans forum. I read people's experiences and what the trans men had to say was like looking in the mirror; it was the perfect solution. I rejected femininity and womanhood because I was a man and wanted to act in a masculine way. I found a video on here about two years ago, about butch women. These were women who were happy as women and still expressed and celebrated their masculinity. Some of them totally rejected anything feminine but were happy being women. For the first time in years I felt doubt. Had I made a big mistake? Had I jumped in too quickly? I can't go back as I have gone as you can do in terms of transitioning from female to male. Had I seen this video before coming out as trans, I don't think I would have transitioned. Hopefully I would have found peace as a masculine woman, but far too late for that now.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was no societal pressures to be anything other than who you really are? And everyone is given the space and freedom to figure that out on their own timeline? No rushing it but allowing it to occur organically? It'd be a much greater world.

Yes definitely more on the social part. A lot of my friends are trans, yet don’t do anything with their bodies, just have different pronouns

I'm one of these people. I'm fine with my physical body, but the social side of gender stuff isn't for me. And that's ok.

I feel like the best we can do is let kids know there are so many ways to be men, women and nonbinary- and trans versions of all those too. Let kids know about femme and butch as they explore this- give them time to explore their identity and what ways you can be so they can explore from a place of knowledge instead of the automatic mode being ‘if I don’t fit this one mold for my sex I must be trans’- and going full in before exploring. Like, if someone is trans I fully support them - and any kid who has said they are trans I’ve of course honoured their pronouns/name changes etc- but with kids who are young and not necessarily coming from a place of knowledge when it comes to how one can live and express oneself - let’s give them opportunities to see if they are trans or not safely with support. I sometimes worry that medically affirming too soon, instead of more socially affirming, this can deny them the opportunity to explore and know

I know some people who think that tomboys and "girly" boys are just trans. Full stop. Some people think that just by stepping out of the norm you must be something else and will push that view on people and kids. On the other hand, I know some people that believe trans people are overreacting and don't believe them when they're sure its not a "phase" or something like that. Being different can be scary for anyone now days. A guy by friend works with has a son who everyone can see is happy to be boy, but the mother is convinced he is trans and in denial because he thinks nail polish and feminine clothes are cool. I'm sure there many similar stories or that of the reverse

I do agree with what you say here, many kids who identify as trans are still figuring out their gender identity and they see the term as the closest to define how they feel. However (after seeing some misconceptions in the comment section) I would like to add that gender is a very wide spectrum, and sometimes not wanting medical intervention doesn't necessarily mean identifying with your assigned gender. I am genderfluid, and although on what I call my "masc days" I sometimes think about getting top surgery and feel the need to wear a binder, overall I'm content with my body and I don't want any operations. Would I call myself trans? Yes, but just on some days, if that makes sense. I move through the spectrum a lot. The thing is, if a young kid finds themselves somewhere in this spectrum that isn't given a label (or maybe they don't know about the specific label yet) it's only natural that they would choose the closest name available for their situation. If I had known about trans people in middle school I assure you I would've identified as one straight away! Going up to a kid and telling them that if they don't feel the need to get major surgery in the future it means they are cis gender is nonsense. Also yes, gender isn't tied to societal norms or expectations per se, but it's still forced onto people since they are incredibly young with the help of said norms. As I child I was told I couldn't do A LOT of activities I wanted to take part in because "this stuff isn't for girls", and I'm far from being the only one. Being aware of the fact that I didn't fit into the standard that was expected of me was the first sign that made me start to realise I was different on a deeper level, but I finally figured out my gender identity much much later; basically I had to wait until my brain had developed far enough. So for a child it's completely normal to have a "placeholder" gender identity, they are still too young to know for sure if the reason they don't fit in is physically related to gender or not! And that is completely OK. Labels after all are just names we give things to help us figure out the world! All identities are valid, no matter if they are clearly defined and catalogued or not! Finally, to all the people who say "children don't need this, they'll just get confused!", let me tell you something: they wouldn't be confused about the existence of identities outside the binary ones if you just got them used to the idea at a young age! If you tell them their whole life that there are only the "two genders", blue is for boys, pink is for girls and all that societal bs, of course they're going to be SO confused when they learn that all of that is not actually true! I don't plan on having kids personally, but if I ever do I'm sure I'll make sure to educate them on how different humans can be, and I'll support them no matter what, cis or otherwise! Well that was a long comment! Thank you for coming to my ted talk i guess haha

This generation is redefining what is acceptable to be able to do as a human being without the bias of sexual roles. Good on them!

I don’t understand the people who think it’s some wild, far-reaching conspiracy to corrupt the children. It’s like, settle down; worry about yourself.

I am really glad to hear that more kids are happy with the way their bodies are. That extra self condifence is going to help them flourish as themselves. It is absolutely ok to be different and to express yourself differently. Kids don't need the additional pressure of "you need to look this way" to be human.

I understand what's being said here and all I can say is if I ever had kids which I dont plan on doing I wouldn't react any sort of way if I had a girl or boy and whilst growing up they showed any interest in what's either supposed to just be girl or boy stuff whatever would catch their interest I'd let em try it out or talk to them about it so they understand and also let them try it out if we as a society stopped doing this in the first place perhaps kids who at least don't have gender dysphoria and such wouldn't use the labels as well just to avoid the societal pressure we inadvertently end up placing on any individual because we see their gender or think we do and then act or speak based on that around them lets just let people be people

The thing is the terms “tomboy” and “femboy” are replaced with trans/nonbinary in some cases but not all, and that confuses old people

That will save a lot of traumas. I was a very happy kid and love dancing so badly, so of course I would be called names, and then I did some drag as a young kid, all of that because I loved arts from the begging, dancing, singing, acting, but I loved soccer and Trains and swimming, hiking. Having no labels from the beginning would be the best, not being called gay would save a lot of lifes and life decisions, thanks to my family they are the best and never judged me, and I became this ballet dancer and ate the world, later on I became a business man, and I really dont think about myself as a gender, I think I am a human and thats it, and I can do whatever I want with my body. Respect is the ultimate validation we need.

my gf is trans and she had very severe physical body dysphoria, she still struggles with depression (we both do) but she did decide that she felt gender affirming surgery was what she'd always wanted. she had top surgery about 1.5-2 years ago (she's a 44C and they're still growing slowly due to her being on progesterone as well as estrogen) and on the 1st of April of this year, she finally had bottom surgery and now has a vagina and it's absolutely crazy how good some surgeons are now. it literally looks like any other vagina i've ever seen on a cisgender girl and it made her so happy (besides having to dilate 3x/day to slowly stretch the cavity to an appropriate size, we haven't even been able to have sex yet 😅) it's just so cool what we can do medically now, and it was completely covered by New York State Medicaid (she is disabled, multiple sclerosis)

Honestly, gender, in general, feels kinda icky to me. I technically identify as a man, but honestly, that's more just out of convenience. All I honestly care about is that you know my pronouns are he/they and that I know what pronouns to use for you. Anything beyond your pronouns is honestly none of my business.

Back in the day they made everyone write with their right hand. When they allowed kids to write with their left hand if they were left handed, the rate of left handed people went through the roof. That’s what’s happening here. People are finally allowed to be themselves.

The fact that they would beat and murder people for being gay before might have something to do with the younger generation feeling more comfortable expressing themselves

If a nonbinary person doesn't want gender-affirming surgery, it's because they're *nonbinary* They're somewhere in between, so sometimes their current body isn't any worse then transitioning. I'm genderfluid, and I don't plan on transitioning because I know I'll have the same amount of gender dysphoria if I do so. Some people consider nonbinary to be under the trans umbrella, which is why not all of your clients who identify as trans want to transition. It's a labels game. My gender has nothing to do with "societal expectations". I didn't choose to identify as something other than binary because I felt like it. I did it because I'm not binary.

I'm trans, came out in my early 20's five years ago. This guy hits the nail on the head. There's a big disconnect between me and the younger generation of trans kids for this exact reason - we aren't living the same experience as many of them, but are expected to still support them and back them up

On food, labels are used for something that they like. On people, labels are used for something that they hate.

Let them have their own seperate society with it's own priority structures and let them rise and fall on their own merits.

What I don’t get is why we need to be non binary instead of just being who you are. I’m a guy and I like a lot of “guy” things, but I also don’t like watching sports. So when I want to chat with my guy friends they all talk to each other about sports, I am left out. Being non binary wouldn’t help me… so why not just accept it? I’m into pottery, I like gossip, and a couple other things as well, who cares what my gender is? The fact we need to define is a problem in itself. Just say, oh it’s Alex, he will chat with me about animals and video games but not sports. So I won’t talk about sports with him. Stop confusing everyone. Just be yourselves and don’t worry about what others think.

Wow! Who would have thought that young impressionable kids would jump on a bandwagon of what is trending to feel included and special. Shocking!!!

At my old online school AZVA, in 8th grade, some of the girls in the classes went as non-binary, but we’re happy with their bodies. Some were gay, bi, and my ex best friend wanted to date multiple people so she could “feel comfortable”. The teachers were even talking like “What do we call the kids when they’re non binary?” I got ignored by who I thought were my friends because I’m a Baptist, I make better grades than them, and because I don’t support lgbtq, even though I respect it I still don’t understand any of it to this day

Gender dysphoria IS NOT the biggest symptom of being trans, gender euphoria is. Yes, maybe some kids use non binary because they still don't see the difference with being nom binary or being gender non comforming or being just outside of the society expectations, but someone without dysphoria can still be trans.

Being 100% honest here, if more people like this guy spoke up in public forums with actual valid points that show the difference between someone's identity and the need for some to transition to be happier, then maybe there would be less opposition to the idea of this being a thing with children. This guy has a great point and I'd like to find the whole interview because from this short clip there seems to be rational thinking and not the attention seeking "I'll cancel you for disagreements" arguments that seems to be everything we get shown by media. Rational and calm discussion on the subject is the way to fix the problem surrounding the entire debate on gender identity but the media is too involved on both sides by only showing the worst takes from the other end of it.

I think our society, at least in the US, is poised for a very stark and very fast upheaval. I estimate that in 10 years or less, societal expectations of gender will be turned into something completely new and only barely reminiscent of the norms I was indoctrinated into. And ya know what? I welcome that. I can't speak to women's experiences, but I know being expected to have no emotions except anger is absurd!

the best way to equate something like this is like the left hand graph. the less people are demonized for existing, the more we see them be ok with being out about it

The thing about the non binary catergory is that it actually reenforces traditional gender roles even more and nobody identifies with them 100%. I wish we would rather eleminate traditional gender roles than creating subcategories like non binary.

Thank you !!!! As a genderfluid kid/(idk if i count as a kid i just turned 18💀) i still get a lot of gender dysphoria but I still don't want gender affirming surgeries because I think it wouldn't help ❤

The way I was treated as a female child- abused, neglected, insulted, enslaved…that alone was enough to make me not want to be a girl. I desperately wanted to be a boy. My brother had freedom all day- no real chores and got things like musical instruments and chemistry sets and building sets and model cars. He was allowed to touch firecrackers. I was not. He was allowed to climb trees. I could but only if I “could get all my chores done and it was still light outside”. The light was usually gone except for summertime. I was hasseled daily about how fat my body was (it wasn’t but I didn’t know that.) I didn’t for one minute want a boy’s genitals as part of my body tho I knew peeing standing up was an advantage. Sure I wanted to be a boy but kinda like a Ken doll. 😂 I also still liked girly things even while I was very very mechanically inclined and wanted boy toys- construction toys yes, bicycles yes, basketballs yes. Pretty sure if the category was around when I was young I would have said Trans too. Now I wish I were a lesbian but am just maybe 3%, I identity as bi- for sure but I wish men were nicer.

15 year old (closeted) trans girl here: I do not fully fit into just the “societal” definition of trans. My body just doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t feel like me, it’s like listening to my voice on recording, but for my whole body whenever I think about it. This doesn’t mean I still only like “masculine” activities (absolutely hate sports, talking to guys, etc.) but that doesn’t mean that me being trans is purely societal. It is true for a lot of trans people my age, but that doesn’t mean it applies to every trans person. However, both ways of being trans are valid 👍

I see myself as a very hetero manly man, but I realise i have effeminate tastes and dispositions to some thinks like music and affection. I never felt confused about sexuality or anything but people often thought i was gay. I think if I'd been born more recently, its possible the trans movement would have made me confused, and that scares me for my kids. They should be free to like cars as girls and be emotional as boys without being judged as the opposite sex. I think attaching gender or sexuality to peoples interests or disposition just makes no sense

My sister looked like a boy when we were kids. She hates dresses, didn't play with dolls, wore my brother's hand me down clothes. My parents didn't make a big deal out of it. In her teens, she was athletic, went through that awkward phase with braces and trying to figure out make-up. She grew up to be a pretty woman, with a child. No big deal.

i work in a diy store and i do repairs and such on my own home. i had a young male customer a few weeks ago tell me he was disgusted with the fact i was employed in that role, that i was actually happy doing heavy lifting and using power tools, I had to drag his order out to his car with a pump truck that i couldnt let him use for liability reasons and he claimed i was emasculating him and i should know my place. its people with views like that that make me want to scream that being a home maker pink loving makeup wearing woman is not and never will be who i am, however im still a woman and proud to be trying to challenge how women are seen i just wish i didnt have to and that everyone could be whatever they wanted to be without judgment weather thats girly girl tomboy or somwhere in between. i do think trans is another different issue though where the brain its self is really in the wrong body and so the body needs to be made to match the brain to stop the suffering of gender dysphoria

As someone who grew up in those online communities this is an epic articulation. Its about fun n confidence

I’m gen x. When I was a kid, we fought a culture war ourselves. We were boys and girls who didn’t necessarily act like the traditional boys and girls, but we argued that we were still boys and girls. Like if I was a boy who likes dolls, it didn’t mean I wasn’t a boy. It just meant I liked dolls. I didn’t want to be something different just because I didn’t subscribe to gender norms. This generation WANTS to be called something entirely different because they don’t subscribe to gender norms. I can understand why boomers are confused in their lifetime kids did a full 180.

Back in the day, that's called being a teenager.

I wish people would do away with labels and stop worrying what others think of them. Just be unashamedly your own authentic self, despite any norms.💖

I saw an interview about someone who was trans and pushed transitioning very young. then had massive regrets as an adult. Its so important to support our youth but also understand how the youth think, and to seek help from professionals with them to ensure their confidence or discomfort ❤

I absolutely agree, and I'm worried that doctors are looking at kids trying to express themselves and saying thay should transition. I've seen people who have transitioned, then detransitioned because their doctor didn't pay enough attention to what was really going on. Their bodys don't usually revert back completely to how it was before the transition, and it can be mentally hard to not look fully feminine or masculine. This is such an important discussion to have, thank you Dr. Mike!

Im sorry, I just turned 20, so I grew up in the middle of all of this mess and it still doesn't make sense. These kids are not "non binary" or "trans", these kids are just awkward and don't know what to do with themselves like every other kid in existence and this huge political push for trans and gay acceptance is simply confusing them more and they're essentially just clinging to the wrong terms because its being pushed onto them by society. I know because i grew up with it and because I was just as confused as all of them. They say its because they don't align with their typical gender norms. Thats ridiculous. I dont align with typical gender norms for a man. I like fuzzy socks, I like to cook, I enjoy being comfy and having soft warm things and looking at pretty cutesy stuff. Im also in a relationship with another man. But I'm not trans. Im a man and always will be a man. I simply have some more girlish tendencies because I was raised by my mom. Theres a huge difference between me and being trans. Its the same difference between a tomboy and being trans. Society is just confusing these kids far more than ever before and its ridiculous. It obviously goes without saying that ACTUAL trans people are not ridiculous, if someone genuinely has gender dysphoria then that is okay and obviously they are trans and will be accepted as such. But the situation with these kids is nothing but confusion and reinforcing it only adds to their confusion until everything spirals out of control for them. It also feels massively disrespectful to actual trans people as it feels more like grifting.

Honest question here. What is the term of respect for they/them/non-binary? Men are "Sir", women are ma'am. What's their term? I'm only asking because I try to be respectful of others.

I can see this. You can see it even in children decades ago. Kids would be shamed or discouraged from doing certain activities, having certain preferences, building relationships because they were gender and/or sex coded.

Doctor Mike really has fabulous hair. ❤

I think non-binary is just another way of saying human. No single human is entirely masculine and feminine, we are all a combination of these traits. So being non-binary is just another way of saying you are a perfectly normal human.

To write quotes around trans is quite problematic. They are trans as trans just means not being the gender assigned at birth. The title is also wrong. The big reason trans is more popular is because more people are allowed to be trans, not because solely of non-binary trans people.

Can we all please admit that EVERY boy has a figurative book of "WHAT a REAL BOY IS" crammed down his throat by the time he is in grade school? This began in the WW2 gen when every boy was expected to be either a factory worker or a...soldier. Connect the dots.

This is the way "trans" should be for kids in my opinion. A way of *expressing* ourselves against societal expectations rather than medical intervention.

Masculinity/femininity is a spectrum, and it doesnt have to be related to feeling one gender or the other. You can be and feel like a woman that has a period of time feeling more masculine, withouth meaning that you feel a man. Viceversa with mans.

Is it actually an increase? Or is it just become a safer space to be you?

I agree. I work in counseling and I see those kids who do have body dysmorphia, never resonated with their birth sex, want to physically transition. And then I also see the kids who identify as Trans, but are fine with their bodies and just want people to understand that they don't feel right conforming to stereotypical expectations of their gender at birth.

This is literally why we used to distinguish in psychology between transgender and transsexual, the latter being feeling the need to physically change thier sex with surgeries.

Lot's of people on the comments don't seem to understand that kids are people uh

So can we give that group of kids a different name? When I hear trans I think of people that are in transition from one gender to the other. How are we supposed to tell them apart? For example when dating I prefer one gender over the others and am cool with dating trans, but what I am not cool with is dating a trans that has no intention of actually being trans. If that makes sense? I feel like it would be rude to just be like yeah, but what kind of trans are you? Maybe we can say something like a traditional trans for folks that want to be a different gender than what they are born as?

In these cases I think the problem is not that gender is assigned to people. The problem is gender being assigned to activities and colors and things. Pink is for girls blue is for boys, cooking is for girls sports is for boys. That is what confused kids. Let people do what they want to do. Stop shaming people if boys wanna wear pink, or cook or if girls don't wanna do housework alone. These roles are assigned by patriarchy and are stupid. This makes boys wonder if they like pink color they are feminine or if girls who don't like to cook that they are not motherly or nurturing or feminine. And then start to think they are trans. They are just normal people pressured into gender roles by society. Its not 1830 anymore. Let people be.