Whenever I say this people call me crazy. I’ll rather be lonely abs miserable than put my child through crap in the name of a relationship or marriage.
Stop sleeping with men! Especially if you're barely getting off and without protection! Using abortions as a birth control! y'all really don't care about your lives and wellbeing as WOMEN. You're still making the choice to be with and focus on MEN - even though you guys acknowledge everyday the FACT that they're not to be trusted and predatory. You guys post comments daily giving your accounts on how you've been violated and disregarded by men. But you still wanna be with them 😂 and then you have the audacity to get online and complain like you're a rookie. 😂
I was in abusive relationship without children. He stalked me and i was conditioned to believe that it was normal. It was not easy and I had my own place the whole relationship. I had to hire professional help to really “leave”
Me for example. What they say is true! Beware of shitty men! When I moved away from my dad who behaved really shitty, I had a flatmate who was shitty and scared me to the point that I had to stay at a friend's place shortly before one of the most important tests of the whole bachelor's degree. I had no setup to complete my project and presentation there, couldn't do the test and it only went downhill from there when it came to my education. Now I'm poorer than I've ever been. For real people! Beware! I hope I can still turn my life around, I'm still in my early 30s.
@@tamiausten873 Thank you! The problem wasn't waking up for me though. I left home as soon as I had the chance (I mean I was a minor before that) but I knew about dad's toxicity way before that. Edit: and I also moved immediately after learning that my flatmate is/was not safe. Sometimes it's just bad luck and it sucks.
I hate when people say choose better when it pertains to women but when it’s men they show men grace for choosing the wrong one please like people lie and manipulate
There is also something called covert narcissism you won’t see the traits until you are in deep women deserve more grace and men should do better because there’s literally a scarcity of the said better men Mtcheww
Yeah the love bombing can be blinding until the mask falls off as for those women who enjoy shaming other women because of their circumstances karma is a bitch.
I’m Sorry to hear that! Please learn from this and move accordingly! If you can reach back out to your community or find a new community of support! 💕💕
To be fair women are taught by patriarchy that having a man is a woman's end goal. Many friends have stopped being my friend when they got into a new relationship. Women are not taught that most mhen can easily betray you and lie to you and commit criminal actions against you. Because of this many women go blindly in to relationships and end up being hurt.
I refused to marry my now ex a few years ago because he told me he didn't want me to pursue another degree. This year I got an admission to a top MBA program in a foreign country on a good scholarship. This means I can earn and grow significantly through this education. I am grateful I made that decision of not marrying him despite being in so much love. First few months, it was unbearably heart breaking but gradually I healed and started thriving. The ex is married now but barely makes ends meet and his wife is not employed.
@@MB-xv7er you cannot be more wrong. I am not in contact with the ex. We have common friends who told me about his marriage. I told them not to talk about him again so they don't. World is full of men, no need to look back :D
You made the right choice because had you decided to marry him and had children and either became too tired to work or didn’t rejuvenate your body quick enough or not as energetic for sex, etc. or need money from him he would complain and end up blaming you for being too needy or not a good mother etc.
You loved him (or who you thought he was) but he didn't really love you or he would NEVER of said he didn't want you to pursue another degree. This is why we date, its suppose to be an exploration of the other person, of you. Dating is fun, sometimes magical, but we also have to be mindful about it. Do the exploration work of it in the beginning, before any sex, b/c sometimes what you find out makes you glad you didn't let that man into your body (and make you feel like douching with industrial strength floor cleaner, LOL, joke). You made the right move there.
Ladies, cooking, cleaning, neglecting your friends, watching the kids alone most of the time, and giving up your career to be a good "wife" means Losing Your Entire Identity for a man, don't do it! He will not appreciate it, he will cheat on you and will leave you behind like trash. If you act like a servant, that's how a man will see you forever no matter what he says. You have been warned!
I almost flunked out of college because i let my grades drop from skipping class to see my ex, i lost my scholarship. then i couldnt afford to do multiple classes a semester so i fell a year and a half behind. All because of the “man” i was dating who was 10 years older than me (and lied about it), didnt have a job so i paid for everything with my $8 an hour wage, mentally ab*sed me by threatened to k*ll himself if i left him…I will NEVER let any man drag me down with him again, when i see red flags i run.
Yep he was 11 years older than me too I fell on drugs really really bad . I left at 27 for clean the following year now I’m 37 and I still struggle every day thinking about out the time wasted I took all these years to heal and move on never had another relationship either . Theee men who are a lot older then us have no clue to be w us I did start college 2012/2013 but once I did that I struggled a lot b money was a problem because I was focused on school sad thing is the moment I stop working he couldn’t even sustain $400 rent that it $400 selling all my stuff of my second car off got evicted got a new apartment and 2 months in eviction I sold my other car to get that . Apartment when I could just went home us staying out there is just keeping them time to keep them out the streets . Because I didn’t need to be out there suffering . it was very hard my grandpa died that year too in May by July … we had lost apartment I couldn’t even deal with my family etc and he was running around stealing n ppl making me asking for him . He took $100 from a lady who just had a baby he went there to see if she needed anything b she needs things from store he took her $100 and never came back there no men in that house and she had a baby they were calling me looking for him
I hate how they call this mhen bashing when we try to warn women about possible situations. I wish I knew all of this as a young woman. My narcissist family were too busy trying to humble me then teaching me and giving me the tools to protect myself.
'cause if we all know and understand these issues, then men will have to change if they ever want consistent sex from a long -term partner again. Trashy men and their enablers (some women are agents of the patriarchy, too) will do everything but hold those men accountable and work on becoming better humans.
Yeah, the same way we say women bashing. It's a vicious cycle. In my school where I teach, a male teacher always talks about women like we are all the same, grouping me and a student together 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Turns out he has issues with his wife and his daughters left him for to stay with the mum, including his 18 year old daughter. When he lists their offenses, I feel for him but I know he's not 100% clean. He says he's washing his hands off his children with this woman, basically disowning them, with plans to have more kids in another relationship 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Obviously this is a red flag, he can't even give his children some grace, seeing as they are young. Also, there's a reason why they won't stay with him. I stay with my dad , only because I need the job I have close to his apartment: he also got me this job(in 2021, I refused to take the job, 2022 I took it and I'm going crazy staying here, I'm trying to leave before I snap)
I agree and I think any mother or female family member who doesn't warn a girl about the dangers of men truly h___s them. The good thing is at least you learned the lesson and are staying away from them.
"Most of these guys--they hate women" FACTSSS. I had to learn this the hard way. I thought that a man could never be jealous of me, but most of my exes were in THE WORST WAY! Mentally and emotionally abusive because they knew that I was out of their league... Now I observe EVERYTHING in the early stages. The moment a man tries to make a degrading "joke" I'm out!
Accepting the fact that men generally hate women and wish to hurt us has been probably the most freeing and relief-inducing mind shift I've ever had. I used to care so much. I wanted to make them like me and respect me and care about me. Now, they're just background noise. I'm polite and professional. I don't act like a rude, boorish B towards them. I simply look past them, like they're ghosts, and they aren't in my way anymore. And I've been doing so much better than I ever have before with that weight off my shoulders!
The fact that I wasted 4 years of my life with a man who ruined my life. A man who was an abuser. Fast foward to 2 years after the breakup, I’ve been LIVING LIFE! I travel, started my business, got promoted TWICE and made new friends. It’s like God was waiting for me to leave him to witness my blessings. I’m so happy we did not have kids or got married!!!! I’m so picky today
My abusive ex husband with comorbid NPD and BPD got me evicted, fired, ruined my career, made me homeless, took both cars, and left me literally for dead. This video is spot on. There’s nothing funny about it. Being too ready to get married leads to us getting killed or them ruining our lives. Most men are bad.
Being ready to get married doesn't mean you have to have blinders on and be completely incapable of spotting a loser. Their are TONS of videos on social media of women talking about how they ignored red flags. The reality is a lot of women ignore obvious red flags and then when all the red flags manifest in actions and deeds the women turn around and cry about the man when the reality is the man always had character flaws that you just chose to ignore
@@mack.... hindsight is always 20/20 and it’s always easier to spot red flags in someone who isn’t love bombing you personally. You can stay on your high horse all you want. I’m here to admit I missed all the red flags because love bombing worked so well on me and I’m here to warn other women so maybe it won’t happen to them. I take accountability for the fact that I ignored or didn’t notice many red flags because I was desperate to be married and I wish I could go back in time and change the past but I cannot. All we can do is grow and move forward and try to do better in the future.
My extra husband said he hated me wearing makeup and wanted me to wear baggy clothes. I was doing it then I caught him stalking someone on Facebook who wore makeup, breast done, wearing the skimpiest clothing. These ninjas ain’t shhhh
Exactly! They lie and manipulate. They will tell you that you look fine the natural way (without makeup) and then constantly look at women wearing makeup. The purpose of makeup is to bring out your natural beauty a little more, and this bothers most men because they are so insecure. I am beginning to think that most men are just sociopathic. I am certainly not gay, but I really don't care for them any more due to my own personal experiences and the experiences of family members and co-workers with men.
I remember my kids' grandmother gripes about how she had to give up everything to raise her kids. She wanted to be a Photographer. She told me when I had kids that everything stops. Her raggedy son and her wanted me to quit college while he was a bumngga. It was at that moment that I rebelled and went to college and went ghost on them. I'm on my second degree in Science and ready to graduate in two semesters. I would never want to be a miserable old hag and listen to these old hags filled with resentment and regret. I stay away from l0sers.
My mom took. She told me when I was a teenager that she was jealous of her childfree married cousin who had money and was able to travel. I was like ma'am you chased a married man and you are a relationship hopper. I love my mother but she was more bit crazy than any 12 year old
The grandmother’s attitude is actually very telling… she’s basically saying she wished she pursued photography than having to raising children. Now, because she didn’t, she’s spiteful, regretful and nags about it. Though, it never too late. You did it, I hope she does, too
@@natcl9974 Sadly people like that do exist and are more prevalent in the world that most think. It's that whole crab in a bucket mentality. I'm down and so worried that you might get up that I try to keep you down too. After all, if you make it, doesn't it mean that I should have or could have? I've seen some parents act like that to their own kids. Dads jealous that their son might go to college or excel further than they did in sports and try to talk them into working at the local factory because "that's what he did". Or moms trying to force daughters to strive to be a stay at home mom because "look how great that turned out for her". Sickening.
Getting reading to work on a Masters and just completed a program last year as a certified herbalist plus I'm a RMA or r Registered Medical Assistant I stay away from unmotivated and dusty males
This is why I personally don’t want to have kids bc these men will switch up on you so fast. It’s like a game to them and I have no interest in being a pawn in their demented games.
I turn 31 this week. Never been married, have no kids. I'm learning with each day I've actually lucked out in many ways. Imma keep ducking and dodging. 😅
I didn't date UNTIL I was 31. I think it's why things are going so well. Established my career and self-worth first in my 20s. Now I have a great partner who is also healed and established. Picky is king
I met so many toxic men who are not on my level - self destroy, always come with drama , chaos , mental illnesses , and no motivation of goals or aspirations. My emotional and mental health is always disturbed by these guys as they have you on a vicious cycle roller coaster emotions. Avoid and beware !
I think there’s POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION and then there’s “postpartum” depression, or the depression caused by realizing most men aren’t good fathers or partners and experienced by women who never noticed the lack of care, concern, and love from their man *until they got pregnant and really* needed them. Unless you get a unicorn 🦄, don’t give that man kids. Foster or adopt one day if you really want to give a child a great home. Otherwise, birthing should be a HE11 NO!!
This comment explains a lot My mother actually said that where she lived decades ago there was no concept of postpartum depression It’s something she heard of only recently and she never met a woman of friend or relative suffering from postpartum depression
@@FoundSheep-AN I understand what the original comment is saying and I believe in some instances this can be very true. Of course realizing the father of your child is a cheater, abuser, or just a plain old bun after having a baby could lead to “postpartum” depression. That being said, there are actual physiological changes going on in the mother’s body that can lead PPD. Just because something didn’t have a name or wasn’t regularly diagnosed doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. There are still many women with PPD who don’t get diagnosed. I found out a week after being home my daughter’s father was off cheating one of the nights my daughter and I were still hospitalized. I just kept on trucking and taking care of my daughter. I probably had some signs of depression like loss of appetite and insomnia, but overall I just pushed through and did what I needed to do. Everyone is different though and some people aren’t as resilient.
@@NurseKayP just in case I wasn’t clear, I meant to make a distinction between the actual hormonal and physical condition VS a completely normal and natural response to having children with a bummy man. I’m definitely not discounting postpartum depression, but I have noticed men using it as an excuse in recent years when they’re actually terrible partners and fathers. That’s all I meant ❤️ And sorry for such a painful experience; I’m glad you were resilient and were able to push through the madness!
OMG, this so true i have gotten evicted from DV and he used to destroy all my things when he was upset. Once I left him EVERYTHING got better. I am now in a house, great job and have peace of mind. I am single and will be for a long time!! Thanks for the video❤❤
Yes, and it can literally be a man whom you didn’t even choose like your brother, your father, your uncle, or your cousin. Any male in close proximity to you can and often WILL ruin you because they are insecure about you outdoing/outperforming them financially. They feel emasculated by your successes and they will ruin your life in order to regain their sense of superiority over you. I’m speaking from personal experience.
@@user-ct3lg7mw9t no ones bitter I just think it’s wrong to say every male, I have good relationships with my sister mother and aunties so that’s just so wrong on so many levels. You’re projecting so hard
As a 31 year old woman, I come here to learn things, because no one ever taught me. Ive made countless mistakes, and I want to do/be better. So I appreciate your work. Thank you
She's absolutely right. I would have purchased my own home by now had I not gotten sidelined by a man who love bombed me and drained my bank account only to dump me. The silver lining was I didn't get pregnant although he asked me to bear his child. My body said no - thank God! My life isn't ruined but my goals have not been met because of my interaction with him. Hard lesson learned but I won't make it again.
And if they don't like certain things about you, let them find what they are looking for and leave you alone, as soon as you change for someone they already have the power over you.
I’m without $1000 because of my ex who turned around and cheated on me with his best friend and never paid me back. I could have put that money into a HYSA or a ROTH IRA. I learned my lesson. Now I invest into myself. Ladies please choose wisely.
You could have blown that money o skin care and be glowing, but no, you had to help a male out, lol😅 Lesson learned Hon, don't give them a nickel next time😅
To the lady with the red bonnet, the first time he ignored you for a holiday should have been the last time you ever spoke to him. He doesn’t GAF about you when he does something like that. That’s when you start looking into adoption options for the baby you’re carrying, and planning your escape from that male. Stop tying yourself via children to males who hate you. If he won’t acknowledge you before the child is here, it’s only gonna get worse once the baby is here. Obviously, hindsight is 20/20, but these males do not love us and feel for us like we do for them. They lie for access to xes and control over your life. They ENJOY hurting us. Don’t let them.
I agree to a point. At some point you have to take accountability and realize that man is dragging you down and get out. Also stop getting in relationships because you are lonely and obsessed with the thought of love.
Honestly this is what’s causing women problems! They’ve let the patriarchy (MEN) convince them that a relationship is a must and the end all and is natural when it’s not. Not everyone will get into a relationship when most men aren’t even supposed to get picked that’s just nature. Live your life. That’s what you’re here to do not obsess over men. Also rethink where your idea of “love” came from. Most of it was from movies and shows and Disney not what you’ve seen in real life.
They always tell women to choose better but a narcissist doesn’t reveal themselves all at once and they usual prey on young naive women. I was 19 when I met my daughter’s father and he was 26. I made excuses for some things because he had a lot of childhood trauma. His abuse was a gradual slow progression when we were already a couple years and following the birth of our daughter is when his mask really slid off. I didn’t even know what to look for or what a narc was until I had my daughter and hit like 24 years old. And my daughter’s father is a true narcissist. He fits the criteria to a T and when I look back at everything with new found knowledge I can recognize some of the earlier signs I missed. After him when I dated and had relationships I knew what to look for an to run at the first signs of abuse. At 25 I again was in a relationship for 6 months with an older man and it was great. I thought I was in love with him. Valentine’s Day we went on a beautiful trip to NYC. Things were going great until he got jealous over nothing later that night on Valentine’s Day and started being abusive. He even threatened to leave me in NYC. I forgave him pretended shit was cool and when we got back home I was done with him. It didn’t matter if I loved him I was not being abused again.
Yes, it's the gradual slow progression part. They test the waters to see what you'll put up with then when they know you are invested in them, that's when they amp up the abuse, after you're trapped with them.
I used to think most of these stories were just online till it happened to one of my friends that just got married last year in August. The pain her ex husband put her through after having 3 kids at 25 is unmatched. I broke down after she told me everything. This is real life and most women should stop ignoring the red flags. It’s crazy out here. I can’t really relate with these stories cuz I keep my legs closed and I start smelling those red flags a mile away. I immediately break up with them when I realize they aren’t good for me or they might be terrible husbands or fathers. It’s time to put your feet down and choose wisely because most of these men are unhinged!
Priscilla you are doing god's work. Don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for sharing this CRITICAL information with young woman. The people who want to silence you are likely either the toxic men who benefit from ignorance, or women who are complacent with the toxic abuse - and everyone knows misery loves company!
I'm very picky about how I spend my time and who I spend it with. I chase goals and dreams not people. If they are not doing or treating me right I don't chase, I replace.
I do wonder what goes through women’s heads when they abandon everyone they knew FIRST over a man? Like did he talk bad on your family and friends….. did you allow him to or? NOTHING they did was questionable in your experience ever? Genuine question.
My best friend of 6 years did this. Some women are just so desperate for any male affection/validation they will gladly collapse their entire lives just to have him
It’s not that he talked bad about friends and family, it’s that when they see what the man is doing to you, you side with the man and bc you are so blinded, you’d rather avoid them than hear the truth.
Well when I first met him I really liked him. I was obsessed with him and wanted to be with him. Everyone else around me ceased to be interesting anymore. He was all I could focus on. Now I’m more into myself and my own journey. I realized that my friends weren’t really my friends.
That's why I end up not feeling sorry for the woman (or man) who abandoned everyone, NGL, especially if they had ride or dies who tried to warn them. Like, you willfully ignored people trying to help you. If someone does that to me, and they have, I try one more time, but if you don't want me around because you love the misery, well, I'm not about to be miserable too. I have other friends, and I have to live my life.
I think it’s so important to acknowledge that in this patriarchal society, women are raised to serve and constantly change themselves to make others happy. That the only way to be happy is if you’re with a guy. Whereas men are raised to believe that they have the right to be entitled and demand what they want, especially from women, and have zero consequences for their toxic and harmful behavior.
women are not raised to serve at all what are you talking about? tell me what your wifely duties are and how to keep a man if you have been raised this way, feminism is the idea that women dont need to serve that you can do everything a man can which also includes being a man which is why "successful" women get ignored in the dating scene, women are not asked to change themselves, you being you is fine enough, a woman being submissive and a man taking the lead doesnt mean the women is to do his bidding, you both have roles to play and unfair treatment is simply that, unfair and should be addressed. when you say men demand with no consequence what do you mean? if i say i want a feminine wife who is submissive and cooperative is this what your talking about? demanding these preferences?
My first experience with a guy completely broke me at the time. Emotionally mentally and physically drained and unwell. I couldn't even function properly nor get out of bed. Thankfully, i found an amazing book that reminded me of my strength and power, and i found myself again. I remember the lockdown separated us and we were in two different continents at the time. I am sooo grateful because that was the only way i was able to leave that nutcase. Purely an energy vampire and now he has found a new victim, hope she wakes up soon. Nowadays, i observe and do not get too attached until i decide who i will marry. I have noticed they try to rush everything so they can hide their true colours which is ridiculous, i never fall for it anymore, the love bombing/gaslighting. I put myself first always!!Never put a man first ladies, some of them are truly crazy!
My friends experiences with their baby fathers and husbands has always been a huge lesson for me and the reason I have always been so cautious about getting pregnant!
Girlfriend At 15:27 Needs To Kindly Stfu With The Victim Blaming - MEN PRETEND WELL. In Many Of These Baby Mama Stories I Hear How They Were Friends For YEARS With The Dudes Before Having Kids && That's When Things Went Downhill From There. You Can Have Great Vetting Skills, A Strong Sense Of Discernment && STILL Not Be Able To Sniff Out A Sociopath/Psychopath.
And now we all know better…. Yet there’s still women out here defending and chasing men. We can’t just continually say men are crap and they pretend yet continue to choose men, have children with men, marry men, etc….. really men are crap and y’all are still dealing with them? What sympathy are you expecting when we all know men are fake?
@Enriquez2222 it's not about knowing better- its about accepting the fact that men aren't capable of love period - they don't love and will never be able to because it's their nature
You're not a victim though and men are NOT the main character. Weren't yall just talking smack on the other videos with reesa teesa and how weak she was. So keep that same energy when it gets close to home. 😂😂😂😂
@@chayo4537 You're The Kind Of Loser To Leave Your Instigating Two Cents Under Numerous People's Comments Because It's The Only Way You Know How To Get A Woman To Interact With You - Log Off && Get An Actual Life 🤣🤣🤣
People don't factor in the biggest part: time. All people change with time. Experiences from over time change people permanently. You can't predict if a good man will continue to be honest, or just good at lying.
Yeah so true, but investing in a man is a choice…. We’ve seen the results of women investing in men, why do y’all keep testing reality when it’s already shown you what’s up?
@@Enriquez2222 because sunk cost fallacy is a bitch most people don't know exist and they have been conditioned to weather the storm. It's unfortunate, but it's how some brains are wired.
@@chayo4537 Natural Human Beings Want Love At The Bare Minimum, If Not A Family. But As A Red Piller You're Not Normal - Sooooo Can't Expect Much Out Of You. Just Look At You, Commenting On Like Ten Women's Comments Just To Feel Like You're Someone. 🤡
Keep your standards and boundaries. Expand your options and stay true to yourself so that you avoid the nonsense. Just don't idolize being in a relationship and keep loving you. If it happens, good. If it doesn't, still be good.
To the lady in black. I understand where she is talking about, but she sounds like a pick me and repeating the crap men come up with. Where she got lost is these men will put on a show and tell the woman everything he's going to do. Show he cares, will go baby shopping, help pick out names all that. When baby shows up, he switches up.
After I left a toxic relationship 3 years ago, I am living my best life. The biggest thing is my peace, my life is peaceful now and I will never give that up for no man!!
Regarding the last woman, I don't agree with the whole deliberately choosing struggle so you can complain about a man; however, I do agree with the part that women need to also take accountability for their actions. If he didn't treat you well then why are you still sticking around why get pregnant by him and somehow expect him to be different? He already showed you who he was. Believe those actions the first time.
So why are people shocked when women off their children? 🤔 I mean shouldn't we all know the outcome of men abandoning or harming the mother of their children?
I don't even want to think where I'd be if not for meeting my ex. I thought I knew better,I thought abuse like that doesn't happen in "good families", I thought I'm too strong to break,too good to fall...I was wrong and I don't think I'll ever be the same. I don't even recognise who I was before and I don't want to remember the person I turned into when I was with him. Shared madness..
It's as though you judgy aunties don't have ears. What part of PEOPLE LIE AND PEOPLE CHANGE do you not understand? How is your comment helpful? These women have been brave enough to share their stories, trying to help young women, and here you come. It's so goofy.
Stop victim shaming because we all been manipulated by men at some point in time furthering Queen P stance that men are incapable of love and they're out here damaging and self sabotaging women and their lives !
This is why it’s so important to make sure that you love yourself and that you’re protecting your boundaries and your peace and that you always have the willingness to go no matter who it is or what situation you are in
Sounds like a narcissist alright. The switch up once they marry you or get you pregnant is insane. And they will be shitty on your bday or not make it special at all and always say “You wonder why” to try and act like you’re so unworthy of a nice bday because there’s so much wrong with you. My ex destroyed me while I was carrying our son. He inflicted to much evil on me I still can’t wrap my mind around it.
Don't try to wrap your mind around it cuz you're trying to understand a seed of wickedness. Let it go and move forward and leave the dusty in the dust.
I'm not sorry: There is no switch up. This isn't to give them a pass because I LOATHE narcs. But there is NO switch-up. What happens is that people tend to ignore red flags until something so life-changing happens that the small red flags they'd always been ignoring join hands and show you the big red one that was always forming in the background. There are always breadcrumbs, and until people realize that, they'll keep ignoring them and keep ending up in this situation.
This is my life. I'm now in it too far. Verbally abused and treated like a servant. The best part of my life is my relationship with God and my children. Young ladies listen. I was on tract to become a doctor or pharmacist and my narcissistic bf told me to choose him or career. I'm now married to bf with 4 children and no career. He constantly belittles me and I cry everyday. I'm so sad and unloved. My grandfather warned me too. He saw the trauma in him from losing a brother and told me he would never love because of that trauma. He was so right.
Most of these guys do hate women. I could relate to the second lady who's ex "Mr ruined my life". I personally dated someone who didn't like me. He would say with his mouth he loves me but his actions showed that he DID NOT LIKE ME!!! I don't think you have ever felt pain like that. These men are wild. Narcissism and red flags should be subjects taught in school. It's peak in these streets.
I understand you fully on the part that he did not LIKE YOUI went through it with my ex ! That’s the worse feeling and pain I wouldn’t wish anybody to go through.. these narcs are the devil in the flesh seriously!!!
Yet the irony is that many women are seen as toxic who oppress men but don't acknowledge how toxic men are bad. There was a TikTok clip from one of your previous videos where a TikToker exposed toxic men which was refreshing to see 😃
If I told you how my childs father trapped me you'd never believe me....he did what he did the way he did to make sure no one would believe me and alot of them do that and then start smear campaigns
10:32 seriously stop rewarding these dudes with children. Please stop , her story is disheartening.😢 15:33 absolutely it’s called trauma bonding. 16:38 you stop all of that only for him to cheat on you with the person who has everything he told you not to have. It’s wild and nefarious.
First of all, you are doing a great job and you don't need to explain yourself and the purpose of your chanel to anyone. If they don't agree they can keep it moving, we won't keep the horrifying stories and experiences of several women just to massage the ego of people who believe "not all men" blah blah. Anyway, great video ❤️
Women that have NEVER dealt with a narcissist i need them to shut up. I was with a narcissist before I no longer am its been years so i understand these other women we live WE LEARN and what ive learned is not to be so quick to judge or put myself on a high horse BECAUSE IVE LEARNED, so "Grace" is what i give to these other women it takes months and often times YEARS to recover from narcissistic abuse. If you've been fortunate enough to have never dealt with one BE GRATEFUL
Listen! I lost my whole self, went through a nervous breakdown and am just getting to even 10 years later. It's been in the last 3-4 years that I decided that I would truly forgive and not do him bodily harm. My body is still suffering the effects of being under all that stress for so long. Trusting people because of him has proven to be difficult, male or female.
I feel so terrible for any of the women that have to deal with fuckery while children are involved. I don't have any myself but I imagine that would make it hurt so much more.
I gave up my life to build a life with the father of my children. I met him 2008. I regret it. I have 3 children and have been unemployed for 12 yrs. He left his job to start a side hustle during the pandemics. We have been struggling and not having food in the house. On Tuesday the 13th I was turning 40. I didn't get a happy birthday nor even a cake. Depression has been kicking me. I cant even think straight. I wish i had a family to go back to and start over. My mother passed away during covid.
Yes my mom is a testimony and is constantly telling me the same things when she sees me making similar mistakes to her. I used to think she was over exaggerating but really it was to look out for my best interest and to not see her daughter go down the same path. Now my daughter will be able to grow up with a loving and healed mama who is going after her dreams, not being dragged through the mud. Breaking generational curses! Thank God for these women ❤
When I use to date Aholes, I refused to get off birth control. After this video I was so right. My man now is so nice, and his family is nice. Wait it out, watch your back. The good man is coming trust.
Moved out at 15 because home wasn’t safe, moved in with my boyfriend (first love) but he was abusive too, badly. That relationship robbed me of the fun and freedom of my late teens, the after effects of that trauma bled into the rest of my life and took years of therapy to overcome. Glad to be on the other side of it 🙏🏻
Meet a guy while in college and ended up dropping out because I kept missing class to be with him. Fast forward met my child's father tried going back to school but was so stressed and distracted with him that I never ended up finishing. Stayed with him 6 years. When I left he was admitted into the hospital for attempted suicide ( tried jumping off building). After that I tried with other guys and was always left hurt and disappointed. Men have literally traumatized me. I'm 33 and it's finally clicking. I plan to be single forever or a very long time.
You didn't ask for my opinion at all, but from personal experience we focus our attention on what we prioritize AND we choose our partners. Not saying these men weren't bad, but I am saying your focus twice being on a man above all else maybe something you should investigate...personally. Is there childhood trauma creating the need for a man? daddy issues? Need for security? Some men suck, but if our choices in general turn us away from what will better our lives, then that choice is ours. Just a thought, but therapy really helps to unload alot of that, especially if we are raising young men. We don't want to inadvertently pass our traumas onto our children.
@@theseeker4700 Thank you. I definitely have a lot of healing to do. My childhood wasn't terrible but my parents were definitely emotionally neglectful. I believe that's were everything started. My choices in men and what I've tolerated had a lot to do with how I felt about myself.
As a woman who's life was derailed by a man let me just clarify 2 things to help some young lady out there. 1. I didn't choose a bad bf to have a child with. a) He messed with my contraceptive pill, thats how I got pregnant b) he took such good care of me for 2 whole years before I evem fell pregnant so yes I automatically assumed he would care for his child because he took care of a gf. 2. When a man love bombs you for a year and suddenly the compliments become insult I think the young ladies call it negging. You will change because you are accustom to being love bombed and it's addictive, if this is hard for you to understand thank your God for this. He said it "I love how your natural skin looks, don't put on foundation and show your pimple free skin" or "you're so pretty in a dress/skirt, lets buy you more skirts" and that gradually grows into "that jean makes your bum look weird/ your legs have a weird shape hey" this is not at the beginning this is after you are thoroughly conditioned and addicted to the love bombing
Him: This year has been hell for me Her: 😐 ( childbirth is a cause of death and post partum is the grim reaper, stalking you and you have to actively fight your own mind!!!) 😔 Most men are viruses 🤷🏾 I'll never rely on a male that I didn't give birth to! I have trained my sons to protect my life AND YOURS WITH THEIR LIFE. I just hope they never have to 🙏🏾
That poor woman that had a kid with the guy that did not love her. I finally had a kid last year and my husband has been nothing but supportive and he loves the baby as much as I do. There were still moments when it was hard. I can't imagine doing that with someone who doesn't support you and is so callous. Protect yourself.
Create a life for yourself bedtime settling down. I literally live my life and use men to my liking and drop them when they are no longer beneficial for this very reason. I’ve had my fair share of toxic men but honestly since watching sheraseven1 and other RU-vid ladies I have risen my standards and raised my standards GOD LEVEL!!
This I work as a nurse these men drop you at the drop of the dime when your sick i have seen it .. I am the same way if it doesn’t benefit me get out of my face
@12:55 I totally agree with this because from the time my ex told me to abort my baby, I knew he wasn’t gonna be there for him. Nothing he said after his son was born meant anything to me once he told me to get an abortion, so I never went after him for child support. I never really begged him to take or be with his child. I already knew he wasn’t gonna be there, but I was also a willing participant in the relationship and I’m not gonna, not take care of my responsibilities. From that moment on, I knew it was just me and my son. 🤷🏾♀️
She's a young who couldn't have known better. Remember that the Black Women Empowerment ( de-centering men, anti-pickme etc) is very recent. Some of us that are older, and started the decentering earlier, were in the minority and shouldn't look down upon the one who didn't know better.
I feel like my ex did a great job of screwing up my life. Our only child is profoundly disabled and I was left to rear my son alone. I shouldn't have had to do that alone. So yes, being with a narcissist and abusive guy can ruin your life. He abandoned us and his son so yes, you canhaveyour life altered in a bad way if with a person who is reckless with life choices.
I love and hate the red flag movement. Because it ignores that people change. People can go from green flag to red flag along the journey. People change. Some character flaws aren't obvious until you are in the thick of it. A great friend of mine from college luckily finished her degree and married what we thought was a greet guy. Coached soccer, have a slew of nieces and nephews they enjoy to play with, amazing careers. They dated for 4 years, married for 5 before the baby. Baby arrive and he got her looking bold, not a lash or nail in sight. Flipped the script because the baby took the attnetion. Dude went from cooking cleaning to pretending he couldn't cook and clean and ignoring her and the baby. It was absolutely tragic. Luckily she moved on, got her masters and remarried to a decent guy she met at work. Her ex was "blindsides" and complained about het to any woman who listened. He has 4 baby mamas now and his new victim is beefed out with baby mama number 2 and 4. Its tragic.
That second girl in red bonet really went through it. The guy was a narc from the beginning, he kept her as "a girl he could call when he needs some" when she moved on he broke her up with her partner, then cashed up her to lure her back to him. It was very apparent from the start he is selfish and a joke. Sending light and healing to her. She deserves a good caring kind man
This is why I stand on not having a man’s baby until he shows you consistently for YEARS that he’s there for you, and always have your own solid support system before having a baby 😭
Nothing to be upset about, that makes perfect sence, i would go one step further and say stop having s3x with men so damn early and freely, 2nd place "s3x only no kids no commitment" is not a punishment for men but a luxury, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Think ladies, i believe you can do it just show restraint. Edit: im a man 37 and have enjoyed the hookup culture so far, have you?
True story, chose a man as a youngin (family wasnt loving or supportive, the regular story) and i probably will never be where i want to be Edit : He went to "celebrate" the birth of our daughter the night I left the hospital with his friends
I feel like I lose interest as much as I gain it. And my dating history is proof, each person has been a thankyou next, and they know theyll lose me how they got me.
100% agree with the lady at 12:55. I do believe that there are men who truly put up a façade of being a great partner just to pull the wool over their partner’s eyes. But in other cases, some women are willingly participating in relationships where they know they are being treated poorly and have the option to leave but choose to stay. Of course, every situation is different, and some situations have to be handled extremely carefully because of threat of violence or other issues. But when you are in a bad situation and can safely leave, please do. Take care of yourselves ladies. ❤
You need to make a video on men not wanting to work and depends on the woman for everything. My friend is in this situation right now . I think it’s crazy that she works more than 40 hours a week to give her whole paycheck to her boyfriend…smh
So true especially when you're young and dumb and think that you're supposed to follow the specific line of life.... You can really get blindsided if you're not careful and fall in with the wrong person
Umm... Just a question... After centuries of the same game, why are we falling for the same tricks??? Bad men, or bad women... The tropes are repeated through out the world in history. So are the tactics, and theories, and alot of other stuff. Book's upon books are written through out history and we can't come out of the cycle of negativity (or attributes there of) ... The last young lady was on point... We know the outcome of dealing in ignorance, so why deal in it?
Glad you admit men are full of tricks. I bet you tricked the world into believing that Eve ate the apple, even though God has continued to punish men since the beginning and blessed women with the ability to create and birth life .
Because when you’re raised by abusers you think it’s normal. When you’re raised by good people, you can’t believe people are like this. People have to be educated by their families or themselves to see through these behaviors. Stop blaming victims. Start holding abusers responsible for their abuse!
The story of the lady with the baby… she did it to herself. She got hit with the okie doke! He gave her that baby as revenge so he can have access to torture her. Ladies keep your knees locked and wombs closed.never go back to what you left or what left you
Please don't change your channel because of the haters. You're going to have haters no matter what content you create. Your 30k+ followers on THIS channel want and appreciate your videos so keep 'em coming.
Girl, don’t let the nay sayers get you down. You are out here doing the Lords work and I for one appreciate you so much for it. Start a new channel and continue your level up because we got you over here 🙌🏾🙌🏾
Im convinced post partum depression is something more about not having support versus just having a baby. Science knows lack of supportive partner can contribute to it but I am convinced its absolutely from lack of support.
I see a lot of people calling the woman in the black shirt a pick me. I have to disagree. I really don't like that some women are okay with being coddled like an infant. If I make a mistake, it's my mistake. We need to stop blaming men for everything. People treat you how you let them. I would never allow a man to disrespect me. I can not believe the things women put up with. You do one thing wrong and I'm done. He's an adult. Let him go if he doesn't act right. And we're adults as well, don't stand by him and cry about it and say you can't leave. If he isn't holding you captive, you can leave.
I so much refused to realise the hate, the minimizing of effection because « a young woman needs to be with a man ». When I realise the hate I resisted !! I had no one like minded ! Some push you to keep going. Your healthy uplifting is great.
CHOICES ARE EVERYTHING GIRLFRIENDS! ❤ Don't try and fix a man if he doesn't come proper then move on, it may sound harsh but men either respect ALL WOMEN or they don't. FACTS