Why Ted is the Villain of How I Met Your Mother 

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I always preferred Marshall. He truly cared about everyone and was so in love with Lily. Moral of the story: get yourself a Marshall.

There is a theory that Ted exaggerated Barney's actions and downplayed his own

I would have liked for them to include a comparison of how Barney treated Robin when they were dating. Barney really loved and respected her. He helped her achieve her dreams, loved her for who she was, not his fantasies.

Barney is a nice guy who pretends he isn't. He loves his family and friends. He is afraid to be vulnerable. He wants what Marshall and Lilly has but feels he doesn't deserve it.

Ted: Wolf in sheeps clothing Barney: Sheep in wolfs clothing Marshalll: sheep

Never realized “How I met your mother” was just “500 days of summer” but drawn out into the form of a show.

One of the episodes that made me realize how delusional Ted really is is in the episode Trilogy Time where Ted imagines where he will be in 3 years. In one of the scenarios Robin is pregnant with his baby and she says that "I've never been into the whole marriage and kids thing but Ted made me change my mind." It really highlights how Ted loves the idea of Robin as opposed to really loving everything about her.

Wowza it’s actually disturbing how Ted is obsessive. In reality he would have at least one restraining order. I always liked Barney. His character development is amazing to watch.

i think the only thing we can agree on is that Ted shouldn’t have ended up with Robin

Ted: Do you love me? Robin: No. Ted: Do you see yourself married in 5 years? Robin: no. Ted: Oh, we're destined to be together.

Ted: Nice Guy™ Marshall: genuinely nice guy

And that's why tracy was the actual one , in the scenes that they date they show that ted is actually just satisfied with tracy not pushing her to marry him and never really doing something overdramatic like he did with so many women that was his growth of letting go of his idea of love and realizing love is not like in movies but suddenly the show ending took him back to square one

The simple truth is that Ted is not a good guy, he's a Nice Guy.

Why is no one talking about how he all of a sudden fell in love with Robin again when he learned she and Barney got engaged, it’s clear he’s jealous of the fact that robin was ready to get married to her actual soulmate and that soulmate isn’t him

I think it was pointed out that nobody in the show was perfect Lily was manipulative and greedy, Ted was obsessive and could be cruel, Barney was Barney and asshole at best and should be in jail at worst, Marshall held grudges from college to Lily for years (justified or not), Robin was violent and callous and put herself above others constantly. They all had bad parts but they all had good too I always saw the show as how good people can mess up or just be people they didn’t have to be good or bad exclusively they were just people

I think a lot of "romantic sitcoms" were written by "nice guys" trying to cope with their rejections. So they craft scripts where guys who act like stalkers or guys in the friend zone eventually wear women down. But IRL it has to be mutually reciprocated. 💯

Also, the time where he berates Robin because she was too independent for his liking, and how he never felt like she "needed" him. In contrast, Barney is the one who recognizes this is a great quality Robin has, but the writers still thought she'd be better off with Ted smh

For me the most important line Barney ever say's 'I love everything about her and I'm not a guy who says that lightly'. How many times do we have to hear Ted saying a girl is 'perfect', 'special' 'the one' 'made for him how many girls does he say I love you too with no thought of what it means or if he really feels it. This speech is a once in a lifetime declaration. Barney feels this way about one woman. He waits until he is completely sure. The finale was the worst ending of any show I have ever watched.

Ted Mosby is perceived as good guy because he is the narrator of the story. He is telling the story of how he met his wife from his point of view. That's why he is always shown as romantic, pragmatic, intelligent and charming because in his mind Ted would think himself to be one with all of these qualities. While telling the story to his children, maybe Ted exaggerated a bit. Maybe Barney is not that womaniser; Robin is not that selfish & so on. There are some incidents where Robin curses herself for dumping Ted. Maybe Ted wanted to convey to his children that Robin was the culprit in their failed relationship. Same with Barney! Barney is portrayed as womanizer, creepy and complete non-believer of romance; let alone marriage. If Barney was against marriage, why did he tried to patch up Lily & Marshall? Barney married Robin despite knowing that she could not bear a child. He supported her career. He parted with her when things were not working out. Not like Ted. Ted was just constantly trying to get Robin back. Actually, Barney is the unsung (or untold) hero of this story.

To be honest, I feel like Ted gets villainized too much while the person who I adored throughout the most part of the show and who tremendously disappointed me seems to be just as (actually, in my eyes, much more) villain-like. Robin. Here's why: - She called Ted at 2 am, asking to come to her place under some strange pretence when in reality she had a hard day that made her realize she may have wanted a relationship. Yep, it's Ted who's responsible for his relationship with Victoria. But Robin acted so innocently when she learned they didn't break up. Girl, what did you think you were doing asking a guy, who you repeatedly rejected, to come to you at night because you're in a special mood when he already has a girlfriend? - She asked Ted literally on his wedding day to not marry because one day she may change her mind and want a family. Ted had every right to be pissed off. She literally asked him to cancel his wedding, which was already happening, and be her plan B. - She catched feelings for Barney once again when he had fallen for Nora. But when they actually decided to reunite after cheating on their partners, she backed off. It was so unfair to both Barney and Kevin, to whom she never even said the truth. - No surprise, Robin once again falls for Barney when she sees how he dates Patricia. Even though she rejected him right before that! And, no surprise, she decides to tell him about her feelings when he's proposing! Yep, it all was Barney's plan (he knew her too well) but she didn't know that at the time and she would pull off the same shit if Barney was really in love with someone else. - Then she decides to crush her own wedding and ask Ted to run away with her. She didn't even care that she asks him to leave his best friend heartbroken on his wedding day, basically cut off the friendship, because she feels like Ted is ready to do anything for her at any time and she wants that. Not to mention that she wanted to break Barney's heart in front of all his friends and relatives when he did nothing wrong. - When Ted finally moved on with Tracy, she has the audacity to tell Lily that he should have ended up with her. Girl, you rejected him multiple times, now he's happily married, what are you talking about. Luckily, she didn't act on that but in the deleted scene when she meets Ted and his daughter and they have lunch, she tells him that she misses him and he's more than a friend to her. And he says he's happy right now. Basically, she wanted to reunite, testing the grounds for how much he wants it when he's married😭 And just one more thing that kinda pissed me off. When she sleeps with Barney, Ted is mad only at Barney. When Barney sees that she and Ted are holding hands in the park, he's mad only at Ted! Even though it was her, who took his hand. Well, Barney probably didn't see it but still. Robin is never called out for the shit she did to Ted, Barney, and Kevin and that sucks.

I have never understood why Ted was the one labeled as "the good guy" when clearly the only genuinely good guy in the show is Marshal. Ted is more like a wolf in sheep's clothing.

If sitting down his kids to supposedly tell them the story of how he met their mother, only to focus on how he dated half of New York City, and his pals' wacky shenagians, with the purpose of getting back together with his ex after his wife dies, doesn't scream "Ted is secretly a creep", then I don't know WHAT does! 🤣🙄

Ted: There's a woman who wants exactly the same as I do and is amazing Everyone: She's in a relationship Ted: I'm a nice guy, she should be with me

I’ve always thought of Ted as being painfully villainous! He plays heavily into the insanity, absurdity and narcissism of the “nice guy” trope.

Barney and Robin should have ended up together... :/ aaand just a follow up, Ted is the narrator of HIMYM so he could possibly made Barney and Robin to be as horrible as possible together.

If Ted's character were a woman everyone would be calling her crazy

I don't think Ted was in the wrong for calling Lilly a "Grinch" when she left Marshall and when he wanted Marshall to stop idolising her. He was there for his best friend. And it's true Lilly left him too without saying a word and then came back expecting everything to be the same. Lilly was the selfish one. Not just for leaving Marshall, but also in that episode. She knew how much Marshall was looking forward to winter wonderland yet she still removed everything from the apartment out of spite for Ted. Once again she only cared for herself, like she did pretty much throughout the whole damn show.

Im convinced Ted only hangs out with Barney because it makes him feel better about himself. He's a textbook self absorbed "nice guy", trying so hard to frame all of Barney's extroverted social antics as negative, even when they're not. Because if Barney is a good guy too, then that means Ted isnt getting unlucky because he's nice; he's getting unlucky because he's BORING.

The sad part is that the last season actually deconstructed Ted's delusions and had several people call him out on his unhealthy attachment to the narrative of "The One" and how he would make every girl he was interested in "The One". This would have actually made the show one of the smartest sitcoms ever... And then the writers threw that all out for an ending the show had outgrown.

That moment when Ted made Robin give away her dogs is a really big red flag for me.

You know “You” is kinda like what himym would look like if it was a thriller

I recently started rewatching HIMYM and Ted now just strikes me as a typical Nice Guy. He builds up these ideals about women and if one doesn't quite fit into it exactly, he always blames her and doesn't really take the time to explore the idea that he might be wrong. He also has serious problems with respecting boundaries and taking no for an answer. It's actually funny that he is the narrator too because he's also supposed to be the main character of the show so he's essentially a narcissist justifying his own actions and pushing his own agenda and rarely considering how he affects others around him. It also means we can never truly trust anything that happens in the show, even the way the other characters are, especially Barney, since he could very well just be exaggerating or embellishing to make himself look better.

Don't be like Ted, who has an unrealistically high expectations of finding true love. Be like Marshall and Lily, who, like many couples, have troubles in their relationships and deal with it like adults....for the most part at least.

looking at it objectively it’s actually insane how obsessive he is and how it’s played off as hopeless romantic.

I agree. Ted became more like Barney over the course of the show. Even just the arc of the love life suggests his selfish obsession with finding a girl without baggage. His eventual wife has exactly two relationships before they meet. He had...significantly more than two.

It’s not a secret. Every character in how I met your mother is morally grey. Though, some more than others, that’s part of what makes the show so great. The characters are human. They have good and bad in them.

I think we can agree that Barney had more character development than Ted ever did (until they practically reversed the whole thing in the last episode)

ted is exactly the kind of guy who would always be saying “nice guys always finish last :(“

Ted and Robin are a key example of an anxious-avoidant relationship.

To be fair, with regards to Robin, there was a cut scene in the last episode, where they were having lunch and she professes all of her feelings onto him. Which he shut down with zero interest, because of his love for the wife. Would have been nice if they left that in there, so it would make more sense that his kids nudged him toward her and he knew the door was open... instead of completely out of the blue, making it seem like Tracy was just a placeholder.

Here is the explanation: Ted tells the story from his own perspective.

Ted: "She's not getting rid of the dogs!" Barney: "Even I wouldn't do that." Everyone watching: Oof.

17:26 - While it's true, that Barney often shows deep acts of kindness, I would disagree that Ted never does that... You named a few negative examples, but there are indeed MANY positive examples aswell (The acceptance of Robins and Barney's relationship, the fact that Ted is a strong emotional support for Robin especially in the later seasons, his attempts to hold the group together) - I think it is a massive exaggeration that Ted never does kind and selfless things. He is not perfect, but quite often he is indeed a good guy

I never thought of Ted as good or bad. He’s the Everyman. We all believe we are the good person, but do bad things along the way because we are inherently a bit selfish. It’s a part of life and growing. I also find it interesting that he says he’s looking for the “one” and often sabatoges himself. He has dichotomies within himself that we all have.

Ted is what we call an "untrustworthy narrator"

This makes the whole premise of the show so much worse. He's normalising his behaviour to his kids. His son will learn this as appropriate behaviour towards women and his daughter might expect men to treat her the way her father treated women. It's really quite bad.

Ted was confused and that just hurt so many people he got himself involved with. Marshall, Lily and Barney knew who they were and stuck with it. Robin, for the most part, knew who she was, but got screwed over by a few people along the way because she had her moments of weaknesses.

Ted helped stela, despite the fact that he owed her nothing While he did stupid mistakes, robin was what ted wanted with every other guy she dated (she chose don or w/e his name is over a dream job, she married to barney, she got upset when she found out she can't have kids,etc ) Dude is clearly the most human out of the whole show with both the good and the bad ... A villain is a stretch

The blue French horn and the yellow umbrella were a great metaphor of how he had to stole it and force himself in robins life (and pretty much in the life of every girl he dated) while he just happened to found the yellow umbrella and things happened naturally, not him forcing his way again into her life nor being obsessing. Also most of these things could be seen as his immaturity in his youth since future ted always said stuff like “don’t force what doesn’t work” “let the past go” but the ending completely undid that sadly

For me, the French Blue Horn represents the obsession of a man who tried to force destiny. He didn't need to steal a yellow umbrella, just came to his hands. Destiny~ Kiki Em

This is such a one-sided summary, where specific examples are handpicked to support the narrative. Every person has good and bad sides, so did Ted. He was not realistic and perfect, but calling him a villain is just exaggeration.

I just rewatched the show all the way through, and even though people shit on Ted a lot these days, I think they're all pretty bad (except Marshall). Lily is mean and obsessed with Robin in a weirdly sexual way. For most of the show, Barney is a shitty guy who just wants to sleep with girls and doesn't care how he gets it to happen. Robin is self-absorbed and constantly talks about how hot she thinks she is. Also she's horrible to the sweetest person ever, Patrice. I love the show and the characters, but they're all messed up in their own way. Again, except Marshall, who is wonderful and doing his best.

My ex boyfriend was like Ted. He had this idea of a perfect woman and perfect, calculated life. Turns out he wanted to change every single thing about me, and control everything I did. Dumped him, and he still plays victim.

Barney is the glue who held the gang together. P.S Robin should have just ended up with barney

The moral of the story based on the ending if you stalk, berate and wear down a woman who doesn't want you and has made it clear she doesn't want you, she will magically then want you. It's unrealistic, creepy and borderline stupid.

This is such an underrated perspective. I didn't start realizing this until I rewatched the whole series recently.

Can you do a video on how Barney's character development was completely destroyed by the ending?

"When you love someone, you don't stop, EVER". That's a big yikes for me dawg.

If ‘Friends’ was narrated by Ross xD

I think the show realized this on and off during its run that Ted was the bad guy. The reason he and Tracy were a match wasn't because she was perfect for Ted (she was way too good for him. Although, we can never know because Ted is an unreliable narrator) but because he let go of that idealistic ideas that screw the women he dated over (he says so in the episode about Tracy and his first date that four years ago he'd make a speech that scare her off but now he wouldn't) by the time he met her. There's numerous examples of this: how he said she wouldn't have liked him back in Saint Patrick's Day, how Stella made him less of an idealistic which was why she was an important part of the story. Ted's character development was to become LESS of the main character who gets what he wants just cause. Sure, he could still act like a jerk in later seasons and his idealism was what made him more and more unhappy in the late years, but I still think that was how he was meant to develop. Which is WHY the ending sucks so bad because it reverses all that relative development and has Ted screw up Robin's life again.

The three worst thing ted did on how i met your mother 1. Teach his son to turn a no into a yes 2. Cheat on Victoria with Robin 3. Told Robin to get rid of her dogs.

The Take: *can find the good in practically every piece of media, even Riverdale* Ted Mosby: The Take: no

I totally disagree. Apart from maybe Marshall all others have done very immoral things throughout the series. There is no villain. The characters are realisitc and therefore have flaws. Furthermore i feel a lot of the "negative traits" of Ted aren't even negative traits. It is completely normal to think someone is the love of your life and soon after a break up realise you were wrong.

I wish the writers did a spin off of Tracy's life her character and the actress were beautiful Tracy's my favorite one even though she was only in a couple episodes she stole my heart

Remember the episode in which everyone realises something obvious about someone else and glass shatters, this video was that for me.

I think everything would have been fine if Ted had grown and realized his mistakes. I thought that's where they were going with his arcs in season 4 where he was kind of an ass but the gang called him out, and he said something about how he's glad he didn't meet the mother then, because she wouldn't have liked him. It would have been a much better story if the mother wasn't the perfect ideal who checked off every box on his list, but instead had the same values and goals and a compatible personality. Someone quirky and fun but also practical, who doesn't put up with his shit, and hey maybe she's a cat person and she thinks scotch is gross, but he learns to be okay with that, because the reality is better than the ridiculous thing he imagined. And of course, if he actually stayed with this real person and didn't just chase after Robin again. They could have done all that in just the last season or two but they fucked the whole thing up and nothing had consequences.

I think that you do cherry pick the few good things that barney did and also deliberately left the good things that ted did out, so you can reinforce your thesis about ted (classic case of confirmation bias: you start with a thesis and pick the evidence that better fit with that). I can give many examples of ted sacrifcying himself and being good (that you left out), like when he drove robin to the roof for her to stop barney proposing patrice. Also, when he helped robin find the digged old thing in central park and he encourages her to still marry barney, even though that she said that he cared more about her than barney. And also, when he broke up with victoria because she didnt allow him to be friend with robin, and he never told robin that, because if he was such a piece of shit as you say he is, he would have used that as a tool to get robin. Oh, and you describe Stella as the good one and poor inocent victim, even though she left him in the altar.

The irony of saying Ted only lives in his own delusion when this video only lives in the one sided anti Ted delusion

Ted "Robin is my absolute soulmate and no other woman can compare to her" Also Ted "Robin, I hate that you're nothing like my ideal woman and you have to change for me"

Ted, and many "Nice Guys" and "Nice Girls" need to learn the difference between actions and intentions. You can have great intentions, but if your actions are actively hurting other people then you are not the nice person that you think you are, and perhaps need to reevaluate your intentions.

The last season calls out Ted obsession with Robin and I still hold that the last episode is a bastardization to everything how I met your mother thought us about growing up and understanding what true love means.

To be fair, the show was critical of Ted's behaviour and actions a lot of times, via the other characters and also by making his obsessive behaviour the punchline. They could have taken it further and written a deconstruction of his obsessive idealism into his journey but the makers just went back and forth on it so many times. After a point, I was fed of the number of times Ted was 'giving up on Robin'. And then they gave us that ending 🤷

Ted is the unreliable narrator of the show and exaggerates Barney’s sleaziness and I suspect Marshall’s wholesomeness as well. It’s easier to tell a story and label people as archetypes instead of looking at the gray areas. Also, I suspect Ted really calls out Barney’s flaws because he has them and hates that about himself. So his perspective of Barney is so misogynistic and promiscuous to make Ted feel better. As a narcissist, he still can’t see his flaws. In his stories to his kids, he doesn’t realize how he’s painting himself. I just realized how much more heartbreaking it was when Robin rejected Barney (slow motion shaking head no after the work cruise) vs rejecting Ted (flatly saying no to loving him). It’s because Robin and Barney had decided TOGETHER that they would be together, while Ted imposes this decision on her. And when he said he could love her without being able to have children? Yeah right!

I see the male caracters as different archetypes of male maturity. Ted being the naive entitled who hides his fear of rejection behind his “romantic intentions” ; Barney being the confident asshole who hides the same fear behind meaningless sex ; and Marshell finally representing the confident and mature man who still fears the same thing but is aware of it and does his best to improve himself and not let it hurt those around him.

Ted is exhausting. He could be cute and genuinely romantic if there were isolated cases, but knowing that he's done all those things, makes him annoying. I had a friend that loved me and was in love with me for 8 years. Always with love confessions at the most random moments, trying to make me fall for him, even making me feel guilty. It got so bad towards the end, I was so guilt tripped that I started thinking that I liked him. He even threatened to moving cities if I didn't date him. Obviously Ted is not that bad, but he's bad enough 😪

I seriously just finished watching, and I know this is 3 years later, but I always thought robin was the bad guy. She led Ted on for what felt like the whole show, and I know he have some minor obsessions but she never truly shut him down. Then she leds Barney on, cheats with him, then tells him to leave the girl he loves, and can’t leave the man she’s with. Ted couldn’t get over her, because as he said, “there was still a chance he could end up with her. Even in the end she says that she should be with him. She also was always putting her career first. Which is fine, but you can’t seriously expect someone to just be fine that you are never there and can’t make compromises. I always felt she was selfish and a home wrecker

The only reason he isn’t Joe from You is because this is a comedy, lol

When Jeanette said How long have you been hung up on Robin?! 8 years!? And you still fetch dumb little trinkets for her Thats when i woke up and realized that Jeanette was more emotionaly stable than Ted

Ok so I started watching HIMYM now - like two months ago - and although very entertained, I could NOT help but notice how similar the patterns between Ted and Joe from you were - the narration, the "i'm the nice guy persona", the stalking...At first I was appaled by both Barney and Ted, and then, the more I watched, the more I was like "ok, Barney's a douche, but he's, at least sorta, honest with himself and his douchey persona and not pretending he's someone he's not" plus his backstory explains a lot. But there was this one episode where Ted speaks about a girl - I honestly can't remember which one of "ThE OnE" and says something like she said no but it actually meant yes and BARNEY OF ALL PEOPLE says "no means no". Since that moment Ted is definitely Joe in my mind. Now I'm like : you should marry a Marshall, you can have fun with a Barney and maybe even a serious relationship - Barney was WAYYYY more accepting of his girlfriends' persona that Ted would ever be, we all know that Ted would never date a stripper and pressured Robin on her job etc...- but you should avoid Teds of the world AT ALL COST.

Barney really grew on me and it’s hard at first but he really is a wonderful dude with issues and some horrible things

The entire group of friends in HIMYM are pretty flawed characters. That's even commented on pretty directly in that one episode where Robin dates a psychologist.

HIMYM would have been a far better series if its later seasons shown Ted maturing and having learn from his past mistakes. In particular, the last season should have been about the first year of his relation with Tracy, showing her as not being the perfect woman Ted idealizes, but as an imperfec person who he loves for real. Even the original finale where Tracy as since passed away and Ted is gonna attempt an new relation with Robin would sound a lot bettr that way, as we know Ted as changed for the better.

Great analysis. I never managed to wrap my head around getting to like the main protagonist of this show. Which felt VERY weird! I knew we were supposed to like him, but... nothing. Meanwhile, many - many - of the other characters were relatable. Thanks for this post.

To be fair I think if Ted had been a well adjusted as opposed to hopeless romantic the series couldn't have believably gone on for that many seasons.

Ted generally means well, but he does some TERRIBLE THINGS in pursuit of “The One,” and he rarely suffers the consequences in any meaningful way.

It's extremely telling that the "Nice Guy" trope is steadily dying down, and more of Ted and Ross' actions look extremely creepy, clingy and invasive through contemporary lenses. 😁

Ted isn't a bad guy, he has good intentions but is immature when it comes to love. When you see him and Marshal (a stabile man whos mature with who he is and his love life) it contrasts greatly. Marshal almost acts like a foil to Ted throughout the show. The first few seasons show how immature Ted is, and how his viewpoint of a relationship is unhealthy. He tells Robin he loves her without knowing who she is, he makes huge showy displays of affection, he lives in denial when serious red flags pop up, and he even imagines Robin in his ideal life (married with children) despite Robin telling him she doesn't want either of those things. We see that once he let's go of Robin he matures and becomes much more stabile, especially in the scenes with Tracy. He doesn't have to make grandiose displays of affection or try so hard, because their relationship is organic rather than forced.

You wouldn't notice these things right away when watching the show. Sort of an interesting perspective on his character even though I don't believe that's what the writers intended.

They did a real disservice to Barney when they broke him and Robin up to force her and Ted together.

I'm still mad about the ending...

What made me angry with Ted was when he got angry at barney for sleeping with Robin. But the same time he was with Stella. Yes barney is his friend and there is the bro code or whatever but It doesn't make sense, how can you move on but your ex can't. Actually how can you "move on" with someone else but still limit your ex to who they can date or whatever. Yes ted was toxic.

See I think people constantly mix up flaws with villainy. It’s why HIMYM is so good! We all have flaws and let’s face it we’re all kinda nuts at times. HIMYM never justifies Ted, Barney, or Robin in their insanity, just tells a story many are familiar with. There is no villain or hero, it’s just life

Moral of HIMYM; Be like Marshall, not Ted.

Wait a minute.. TED IS THE MALE VERSION OF CARRIED BRADSHAW!.. and Robin is Mr. big

I just wanna say that i think it was okay that Ted didnt apologize at first to Lily for calling her a grinch. Like what he said about them being friends and her having left him too without so much as a goodbye? People say bad things in anger and I think Lily should have apologized first. Losing a friend like that does hurt a whole damn lot and being angry about it is understandable. I agree with a lot of this video tho.

I have literally only watched like 6 episodes of this show and I could not continue because I hated Ted from the beginning, loved Barney and Marshall and Lily and Robin but Ted was the mc and as such a majority of the show follows him and his narration and it just pissed me off. Everyone in my life who watched this show called me insane for hating Ted but it was my knee jerk reaction to him, just a shitty "nice guy". This video makes me feel so validated XD thank you.

I still can't get over the fact that even his kids reacted like "WHAT?!" when he told them that he told Robin he loves her on the first date like, Who does that?

Tracy (the mother) is the female incarnation of Marshall.Such caring and loving wife.

Lily is the true villain of How I Met Your Mother!