Why the INTJ is the worst spouse 

“Don’t tell them what they should be doing because they can see the future so much that it’s almost insulting to tell them what they should be doing” ..... omg yes, sometimes when people try to give advice or tell me what I should be doing it drives me nuts because I’m left with the impression that they’re not seeing what I’m seeing, it’s as if they’re seeing steps 1 through 3 and I’m seeing steps 1 through 30 and then they think I’m crazy because they can’t see the extra 27 steps that I do, this happens so frequently that sometimes I even wonder “am I the crazy one?”

Enjoyed the conversation. I’m the INTJ & my husband is the ISTJ. You two had me laughing because it was so familiar. 35 years married this year. I wish I would have known MBTI earlier, would have been beneficial.

I loved this video! My ISTJ housemate and I watched it together and marvelled at the similarities. It helped her to make sense of her relationship with our ENTJ housemate as well. Many relatable moments. I also enjoy how you guys were so authentically yourselves - you are very watchable and I would love to see more from you guys! :D

Deanna did an amazing breakdown of INTJ qualities from an Si perspective. I honestly took so much from this!

I my experience INTJs & INFJs are the most accurate in determining strangers' MBTI because of the Ni trait. Also, very entertaining and factual vid!

I'm an INTJ and I am VERY detailed oriented if I can mentally imagine it. However, I can see the first example play out extremely easy in my own life as I am not concerned with menial work or tasks. How hard is it to do the dishes in the dishwasher? I also feel like listening and remembering details on a task like that is extremely hard for me to do.

TIL: Even though Joe is an old cat, you gotta take your INTJ on a walk.

Okay, but that's real cute! ❤️👏😍 Edit: I've been with an INTJ for 15 years, and I agree with the memory, missing details. I am actually an INFJ but can relate sooo much to what Deanna says! 🤭☺️

It was so helpful to listen to you both. I am an ENFP married to an INTJ. My boss is an ISTJ and I feel like I have so much to learn from both of your personality types. Opposite functions can be challenging at first but they help balance and make us well balanced. Glad you have taken the time to figure each other out. Thank you for caring this content!

The passive half/listening, losing details very much feels like a man’s perspective as an INTJ. Women, biologically , are more aware of sensations, to notice colors, scents, sounds, etc. whereas men are one track minded, going forward in a linear hallway. Some have more doors to open, so to speak. Female INTJs are usually not this way, I’d assume, out of being female. Our memory is so strong that ruminating often follows, hence twice as likely to experience depression - quoting Stanford presentation over major depression. I’m female INTJ, 5w4. We never forget getting slighted or receiving courtesy. Fi - Ni feedback loop (ruminating) can get unproductively terrible. If I’m out in nature, I want to be ALONE. Swimming, rock climbing, roller skating, an arts festival, museum, ALONE. If someone is with me, my emersion experience is compromised and I’m left not rejuvenated. It’s good to know ISTJs get nervous around incoming unfamiliarity. I find new things exciting. Movies, books, and series can get boring because the patterns are so immediately clear. Agreed, please refrain from telling us what we should be doing. No one sees the future down the road with the accurately like we can. Plus, our set is extremely individualistic due to being hardwired so differently. I want my brain stimulated, my theories challenged, my opinions called out for being unfounded. My ENTJ partner (we’re still in our twenties, so the ego interferes) notices my different thought pattern but dislikes long winded talking and descriptions. He’s very action oriented and social. He can see where I’m coming from but his perspectives remain shallow in comparison, often replying “that doesn’t make sense.” I’ll explain again in a different way to him again and again. But abstract understanding is lost on him, like explaining why server rooms have to be kept at a cool temperature, as computers produce heat, constantly running produces an abundance of heat that can impact - anyway. He has to be there to see it and understand. That’s due to lack of patience and sensitivity to overwhelm - gets overwhelmed by paragraphs like state statutes. I believe, similarly, I get overwhelmed by physical stimuli in social situations: being touched, spoken to with no direction, small talk.

Okay, I totally love this. I am an ISTJ married to an INTJ. So just the exact reverse from you guys. Very interesting and would love to see more or this!

Deanna seems cool as heck! And I totally agree with her 😆

I’m an INTJ, and though Se is obviously not my strong suit, I’ve always made an effort to be well-rounded, and above all else, value being high-functioning in as many areas as possible. I also don’t ever want to be a burden on people, and needing to be nagged to do something that I should initiate on my own…like regular house chores. If I can’t remember to do something, I freaking SCHEDULE IT. That’s what calendars and lists are for, and WE’RE GOOD AT ORGANIZATION & PLANNING. Se tasks are effective in helping us w/ problem-solving. We can still be in our heads while we carry out some rote, mundane task like loading or unloading the dishwasher. It’s a productive 5 - 15 min. that results in a well-run household, and during that time, the INTJ might glean some new insights, while also not irritating their spouse/housemate. 🙄 Unlike a klutz becoming an elite athlete w/ quick & refined physical reflexes, there are things we can work on, that don’t actually take up too much mental bandwidth or precious time.

Awesome video. Together you both destroyed so many stereotypes and great advise also.

As an INTJ I tend to not care as much about most things. The details come way later. If it's already figured out why do I need to think about it again. I don't bother with the obvious.

Too funny! My wife is an ISTJ and I'm an INTJ-T as well. You guys are right on the money. I'm going to forward this to my wife. I hate details and routing tasks, but we are detail oriented. I think it has to do with INTJ's not liking to be told what to do and WHEN to do it. It's in our nature to rebel, we do it subconsciously, so don't take it personal. We can be extremely clean and neat when left alone or given our own domain. Now, about memory, INTJ's have great memories, but we have to access our subconscious mind to recall the information, which takes time. As compared to ISTJ's memory, which is like SDRAM memory in a computer. In other words, quick recall memory in the frontal lobe. Also, I don't mind being outside, as long as it's not hot and sunny......boy do I hate the sunshine! Winter/fall is the time my wife and I spend time outdoors together. I have to disagree about our ideas. When we discuss them, we are in the brainstorming phase of our plans. There is no limit to our creativity and if it can be thought, we will think it. But our logical side will always bring our ideas down into the concrete upon completion. You see, it's the logical side that acts as an anchor to our wild ideas. In the end, our ideas must actually work. Another final thought about the dishwasher example. INTJ'S learn from the top down. Never give us little bits of information, such as when and how to do the dishes, without giving us the big picture in your head. For example, why must I do the dishes at this specific time and manner? What is in the ISTJ'S head for her master plan? This is because an INTJ needs all the information to determine if, in fact, doing the dishes now is the best strategy or most efficient way. If you give the big picture, then the INTJ can create a much better way to accomplish the task at hand in accordance with the big picture or long term strategy. Again, great video! 👍

Love this, Deanna gave some very helpful advice 😊 /INTJ

Lol. I relate to the intj soo much. I forget things soo easily. My dad is istj. He can remember things from 20 years ago. He NEVER forgets. Frustrates him so much how forgetful I can be. I'm always in my head. I zone out so much to details. Hahaha. So interesting watching these kinds of videos

Cool to compare these two types like this! I'm an INFJ and my mother is (I think) an ISFJ so I can see some similarities in how we differ too

INTJ see detail oriented in our own heads we just don’t need to do it your way.

I am typically the dreamer, but due to Engineering training I learned to break apart my own thinking and problems. It is weird and disturbing when I crush my own dreams with practical thinking and detail planning. When I go on walks, I don’t see anything around me. I am always lost in fantasy land unless I am talking to others while walking.

As ENFP I think the husband INTJ and I will deal perfectly lol. I don't care about details, I care about ideas and plans. I also like to collect knowledge. The only think is that I like to do a lot of activities outdoors, god but a man who lets you do your stuff and it is not angry about it and doesn't care and it's not clingy? God, that's heaven.

Ha! I'm an INTJ married to an ISTJ too! There is only one right way to do things and I can never remember it. I am always looking for a better way rather then the tried and true. My wife likes going to the mountains and I'm like Joe. But, i go along with her because there is time to do both and there is usually a microbrewery after the hike. But, she does keep me grounded when i need to be.

I really enjoyed watching this. The ISTJ subconscious is ENFP so seeing this relationship is very interesting for sure being that INTJ/ENFP is such a natural pairing. At any point in making a compromise with one another, do either of you feel you need to reach into your own subconscious to accomplish this? Also, it is fascinating watching the body language difference here. Deanna(sp) you are very keyed in using sensory and watching for micro expressions/body language on Joe's face as he talks. I follow your eyes and you are literally following every lip movement, facial gesture, eye movement etc. I have also noticed females do this way more than males do. Females are really much more aware and in-tune with body language, and micro expressions and reading what the body is saying as well as what is actually being said. I just thought I would point that out since I noticed it. Joe, when Deanna is talking try practicing watching her eyes, lips, facial movements etc while she is talking with you. This will deepen connections while talking.

" Living with.you is like living with a very old cat"... Hilarious!😄

Brave, this was awesome. I’m married to an INFP and I’m an ESFP but consume sleep blast play so Dave and Shan say my Ni is double activated. I feel like your combo is a super pair especially for efficiency and planning, like would live on an isolated small complex you guys ran haha. Damn the thinking power here is next level. Also, ISTJs seem like great BS detectors in INTJs too but in a really grounding and like good way. Very powerful dynamic there. My hubs and are also super independent types for sure and infp hubs disappears into books daily, but also needs and I mean needs to get outside for runs on most days and is in his head but about people and needs to be around people to do his work but also independently tending the to groups he leads. I go and go and go at work as a nurse or now with our kids but am mostly independent too. When I’m home I need to have time to sit in a shower haha or walk or run alone and I’m always consuming mostly lectures on my current interests or funny shows we watch together a lot but we have desks where the back of the chairs touch so I can write and consume things for the writing or listen to music and he can read and write…we both do that part mine for writing and he for doing house things like dishes haha. I’m surprisingly quite haha for an ESFP at home I mean people exhaust me but not the hubs. Well and I’m like raising kids mostly these days too which takes all of my fun people energy time haha, esfp parents are really fun, I’m old so schedules have become my jam but I’m still a party on legs without needing other people or party things haha. I need quite introversion energy around me to recharge from the other people haha so I love the let’s hang out inside and zone…. Could be being old and a parent though haha.

Female INTJ - I learned what details matter and which don't. I hand wash dishes because no dishwasher is good enough. Outside is great on an overcast day in the fall/winter but no heat or sunburns, thanks. I was raised by an extrovert and two sensors so learning to pay attention to details was necessary in order to deal with them. Being an INTJ female is a little different to being a male . . . at least that's my understanding.

“…birds…” 😅😅😅 typical answer and reaction . As an INTJ I find it so relatable and funny

This is a very interesting video, because I’m an INTP whom was raised by a rules loving and traditional ISTJ mother, and now married an INTJ husband. Lol

This is super interesting. It’s cool that y’all work! ❤️

Very interesting video and pure. Both of you really give value to the needed communication and understanding relationships demand. That said freedom given to each other, which is the coolest part.

I’m an enfp who wants to understand other peoples’ perspective and I’m so glad I found your channel! I’ve noticed that mbti is getting more popular each day and many people are often satisfied with just reading a description on the 16personalities site (and I get that), which can cause misconception and misunderstanding. So far I’ve been studying mbti for only a year, so I’m not that knowledgeable. I’m not very skilled with typing people irl yet, though I’m slowly being able to recognise a specific function in them. It’s fascinating. Thank you for your videos :)

6:40 • The concept of us INTJ being similar to a *really old cat* is such a great descriptor of our independence.

My hubby is an ISTJ-A and I am an INTJ-T and we work just fine. Watching your video was quite fun. Thanks for your Video

Deanna is adorable! Please have her on more often. As an INTJ, a fellow Te/Fi user but not a Sensor, I am very interested in her perspective.

that was so nice and cute guys! thanks for sharing and keep it coming ❤

I'm an INTJ, but I love being outdoors and learning things in nature. I love canoeing, whitewater kayaking, mountain biking, rock climbing, and mushroom foraging. This is where my knowledge is invested because every rock cliff is different, and every river is different and even different at given water levels. I'm always learning new things and sure I'm happy at home playing video games now that I'm retired, but I'm not a lazy INTJ.

I don’t cook, I don’t clean - INTJ

I think INTJs can like to go outside if the environment is appealing and its easily accessible so little effort/energy is required to go experience it. I (INTJ) used to live right next to beach. I would bike ride and go on walks all the time. When I moved inland. Environment is stale and now I never go outside and driving to the beach requires too much energy.

When she says outside you can see the dread in his face. I feel you brother.

This is a really interesting video, thank you Deanna and Joe! INTJ and ISTJ can have hard times communicating even when they are talking about the same thing, due to their fundamental difference when seeing/ understanding the world (Ni vs Si), and this difference will lead to they having different hobbies and interests. I am an ISTJ and recently talking to an INTJ. Although I appreciate so much about the wit and depth of knowledge he has, I sometimes find it hard to engage or get a topic going when talking to him, not knowing how to do. Really curious about the love story of you guys, may I know what made your relationship getting closer and what are the traits that attract each other the most whey you guys were dating?

INTJ 5w4 here! In my commentary, I'll try to solve some of the problems raised in this (nice) video, therefore, I'll ask Deanna and Joe (lovely couple by the way) not to take it too personaly, because everybody can relate to what I'm about to say. Let's go! ISTJ wife has to understand that everyday life chores (dishwasher...) are sooooo boring to INTJ hubby, who's more focused on important things like how to save this world from total collapse. For that matter, INTJ husband has to put himself in ISTJ mode and relate to his ISTJ sweetheart whenever boring things get in the way of his "more knowledge, more knowledge" hysterical thirst: "She does things like that? Ok, let's do it the same way, I got better things to do/think anyways." -> Time saver, memory saver, better trust in each other! Maybe INTJ husband can indulge in some video games to develop Se while indoor, which activity still lets him simultaneously watch interesting YT videos/podcasts/conferences/interviews? Whenever ISTJ wife will wanna go for a walk in nature, INTJ Hub will spot more details, animals and stuff, and be less in his head. Not every video game genre can be played without sound, but anyway, story-driven games being more into feelings and emotions than pure gameplay, they won't really be that interesting to INTJs. So more sports games, strategy games, arcade games, action games than story-driven games with a lot of dialogues. Maybe ISTJ wife could speak to INTJ lover's Fi to "manipulate" it, and make it understand what is important to her Si? Hubby will remember so much better! Fi is the Force hidden in every INTJ. Use it to make lover.exe get out of his routine/confort zone! If you want to make an INTJ go for a walk, try to tell them that it's important to you for a specific reason or project, and that you need help: "I want to make a photo album for my mother's birthday, I'll need snapshots of beautiful trees, cute birds and nice places. Can you help me with it, I need to spot the right things while in the woods?". Also works with "I need ingredients for the cake I want to make, let's go to the grocery store, we could discuss what kind of cake we wish to have on the way", and so on. Hoping thoses pieces of advice will be of some help, I'll return to my home planet ;p Looking forward for more videos from you. Over & out!

Yes! So true! The worst I know is when someone tells me on a regular basis what I should do or insinuating on what should be done. It's so disrespectful to treat a grown man like a kid that needs to be told what to do. I freaking know what should be done and I do it my way according to my list of priorities. You don't need to project your own insecurities on me by trying to reinsure yourself...🤮

I can imagine that she has helped you with your Si spiritual side too. Mbti has allowed me to embrace that part away from just Te analysis.

Oh wow, 54 year old female INTJ here and I am EXACTLY like him. My dream day is to sit and read cozy inside with the rain outside. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the sun and nature and I will go out and sit in the sun (with a book :-)) to get vitamin D on my skin and fresh air, for health reasons and because I love animals and plants, and I do garden. And I LOVE hiking. For goodness sakes, I have a RU-vid channel called Beyond Sustainable Living because I love nature SO MUCH. But, I don't need to be outside as much as I need to be learning and studying and planning. THAT is the most heavenly, fulfilling thing for me. And I absolutely ADORE rainy, stormy days. HEAVEN!! On a different note, Deanna, your sweater is adorable! And your hair is meticulous! Wow! I wear black a lot although my ESFJ step-mom finally got me to start wearing "more colors!!". :-)

top down thinker vs bottom up thinker. Meet in the middle by making a checklist of details and leaving it next to the dish washer. If she knows how his brain works.... why is she trying to change how it works?

We INTJ's might trip over a rock sometime but I think ISTJ's don't spend enough time looking up at the stars. That's how you get stuck in a dead end job, like a worker drone going through the motions until they die. Effectively going around in circles.

Write a book on washing the dishes. Problem solved~fellow intj 😂

Sharing this with my ISTJ husband. Take me out for a walk, show me things or give me space.

Why do I feel like only other Thinking and Judging types can successfully criticize INTJ? Feelers don't stand a chance....

I showed this to my roomate and she’s like OMG thats literally you! The ‘inside the head’ and ‘autoresponse’ was spot on she said 😂 poor my roomate

Now I get why ENFPs work with Intjs

Oh you two are sooo GORGEOUS 😍🥰😄

That's hilarious, yet so true when Deanna says that Joe is like taking care of an old cat! I bet my wife feels that way too. She grew up always having a pet cat as a girl. Sadly, I'm terribly allergic to cats so we can't have one now that we are together, but maybe I've sort of taken the place of a cat. :) Like a cat, I'm very independent, most of the time I don't want physical interaction - with anyone, I'd rather be alone most of the time, now and then I spaz out for no apparent reason when all the stuff I keep bottled up (positive or negative) suddenly boils over, etc. Yes, 'should' vs 'could' is a big thing. We INTJs are very possessive of our ideas and actions. Being told by someone else that one of our favorite big idea or thing to do is wrong or not a good idea, we hate that. Even if you don't mean it that way, we may take it that way. My wife I and very rarely argue as both of us are adverse to arguing, or even being around other people who are arguing. We don't even like to watch TV shows or movies that feature a lot of arguing. The closest we come to it is more like trying to find common ground when we realize that we are coming at the same idea or problem from totally different perspectives. Another time when i'm tempted to argue or get mad with her, but my strong willpower almost always shuts such impulses down, is the rare instance where I perceive that she's dismissing an idea I have for no good reason. I can handle it when the person has a logical, valid point, but not when they dismiss it just because they don't like it or can't understand it. My wife is certainly my anchor in reality. Now and then, she has flights of fancy too. When she does, it is so fun to hop on that plane with her and daydream together! Moments like that, I think sustain our, so far, 18 year marriage more than just about anything else, I would say. But most of the time, she's the more practical down to earth one. We compliment each other well because my strengths are her weaknesses and vice versa. She has trouble thinking of what the long-term consequences or possibilities of a decision might be, for example, while doing so is second nature to me. Meanwhile, she's better at figuring out tangible non-philosophical problems than I am. She can solve a Rubik's Cube, for example, while I get so frustrated by trying to solve it the 'correct' way, that I just want to pop the removable blocks off the frame and snap them where I want them to wind up. I actually did that with a Rubik's Cube when I was a kid. It worked, but the cube never quite rotated around as tightly as it used to. Great video!

I thought your dishes example was hilarious because I can’t train my husband to load the dishwasher correctly either, but we’re the opposite-I’m the INTJ and he’s the ISTJ. (But I care about how dishes are loaded out of efficiency, not for details.) But all of your other ISTJ-INTJ examples were relatable on the INTJ side, like about memory and him being the one trying to go places instead of staying home, and how irritating it is when an INTJ is told they should be doing something…. though when it had to do with chores I sometimes need the reminder because I don’t always add chores into my planning. :)

Important details matter, Insignificant details do not. Details in efficiency matter, Insignificant details do not. Goal oriented details that move toward the desired end state matter, all other details do not. Unless one has specifically practiced and trained (with many failures along the way) to develope the back seat traits and preferences

😂👍😂🤣 As an INFJ married to an ISTJ, I reeeeally felt the “you just need be good at… humouring them… you don’t necessarily have to *believe* them..” oooh yes! We INFJs and INTJs can be quite “out there” at times, lol! 👽🛸

The most annoying thing about both ISTJ mom and my INTJ hubby was their Te getting in the way. They would often come to me complaining and saying something like, “Oh you should do this”, or “You shouldn’t have said that!” It take away from my sense of autonomy

INTJ face says it all, ‘idgaf’ haha😂

As an INTJ I filter out details that I don’t consider important, drives my wife crazy because she will tell me some plans she made for us to do on the weekend and two hours later I’ve completely forgot because leisure plans take a back seat to the project I’m working on mentally plus I assume she will remind me when the time comes. It really drives her crazy because I forget what she told me two hours ago but I have an entire catalog of useless facts and information of things I learned and found interesting that I’ll never forget. My wife is ISTJ so I really related to this video

My ISTJ mom always wanted to go outside and interact with her friends, and be around her colleagues at work, but me the INTP, just preferred my little home space so I can read countless book and watch a good film. My ISTJ mom was also a vociferous Sun worshiper and loved to go to the shopping mall. Lol we were just both very independent.

I am ISTJ and I love to be home, read for a whole day but going out in nature is also my thing! Acknowledge is also very important, and I hate sun and love rain... I think is more personality...

MBTI, Name numerology, lifepath #, complete birthchart synastry all plays a part. Not just MBTI

I'm an INTJ, and I'm very detailed.

My god my mum is an istj as brilliant as she is ,i dont get along as much with her ,totally agree with ur darling wife

Haha, so true. My wife swears she told me something. I swear I don’t remember her ever telling me. I might have been mentally somewhere else. 🤣🤣🤣

I'm an ESFP married to an INTJ and, still struggle every day with the knowlege i have about them. Unlike your ISTJ, i'm not as independent and seek out his attention. But, i fill in his forgetfulness gaps and bring a little more energy into his life! :D

Totally disagree. I'm an INTJ and I am very detail oriented. In fact, INTJs are good at analysing *because* they are good at noticing details and patterns.

as an intj myself, im hella jelly of ur wife

I can tell that hilarious story of how my 2nd oldest brother attempted to feign my ISTJ mom being sick. He tried to heat up the thermometer 🌡 by heating it up with a match. Now ask me if she got fooled, or not! Lol 😂

Thank you for this video. I'm trying to understand my conflicts with someone. And though in my case the person wasn't a partner but a close friend, I suspected some kind of incompatibility in our personalities. The examples in your video were great to compare.

I'm an ENTP but surprisingly related so much to the INTJ experience in this video. The one exception is I do like being in nature, but moreso because it's a calming backdrop for me to daydream in 😂

Dianne - Im an ISJT here! I’m constantly being told I’m rude, abrupt and cold - although this has never been intended. Have you ever had this issue? I dont like beating around the bush, I find it fake and back handed. How have you dealt with this if its also been an issue for you?

How about ESP cheaters or ESTJ wife beaters? Granted, I've never been married but I don't think I would be the WORST. Someone should make a video about how ISTJs are the worst mothers.

Some details make you miss the big picture

My ISTJ mother was exactly like that, -that she was always worried about things going wrong, whist I the INTP would always have the attitude that “Well … you don’t know unless you try!”; or “We need to know the facts, before you start worrying”. Lol

6:40 How do you think we get along so well? It’s like taking care of an old cat.

I'm an ISTJ married to an INTP but I'm seeing some similarities here between the INTP and INTJ. XD

I'm INTJ but I can relate to a lot of what Deanna is saying about how her Te works. I normally want to jump to solve a problem. On the other hand, I cause people to crash into each other in grocery stores because I was in my head thinking about something. My memory also is not always the best. Not to the degree of joe but it's not good. Do you guys know your enneagram type with wings? I wonder if that has anything to do with the way Deanna jumps to solving and joe not as much.

"Another story recounts that a maid found Newton standing in the kitchen with a saucepan full of boiling water. He was holding an egg in bewilderment, and his watch was in the pot."

Auto-responses aren't an INTJ thing, they're a man thing. What music do you hear in your head when the ladies speak?

My hubby being an INTJ is much more of a conspiracy theorist as an Ni hero than I am. I on the other hand as a Ti user need to know the facts more before I being in, say UFO sighting, ghosts and other forms of magical entities, or even religion

Whenever I look at Deanna in videos all I can think about is: "Girl, you got it bad, huh? I feel you sis." Lol She has the face of someone crushing really hard. When she looks at him its like he the most handsome, inteligent, amazing man in the whole world. She keeps staring at him all the time with those puppy eyes. Its sooooo cute ❤🧡

I think I have read arguments that the worst spouse for an ISTJ is a turbulent INTP, and guess who my spouse has to put up with? :-) At least if an INTJ is doing something speculative thinking, the product will be something that produces tangible results, perhaps extremely profitable ones. Whereas if a turbulent INTP spends years speculating on something, the result may be some theoretical idea with no immediate practical return. As an example, when Einstein's first wife and Einstein were discussing terms of her allowing him to divorce her, she demanded the money from Einstein's Nobel Prize. That is how she converted the theoretical that took years to produce to tangible for her and their children.

Sounds like my ISFJ wife that puts out a lot of my INTJ ideas, even when they’re just conceptual, and not even very serious, just being told it is dumb.

This is so true. I had my wife watch it so she can understand me better. Also, Joe, what about eye contact with your wife. I thought I was bad. She is looking at you the entire conversation, and you must have eye contact with her three or four times. Loved the dialogue. Joe, a question for you. Are there any correlations between your type and your Zodiac sign? I am INTJ and Scorpion. And I think that the combination is not a coincidence.

Lol. I'm INTJ. I think we're a good spouse! If someone gives me detailed instructions to the letter, that's not going to stick with me. Also we're the opposite of most people...the big picture is ALL that matters to us. Details are only how you get to the big picture, they are not as important. Believe me, INTJ is all abut getting to the point. In fact, we'll think everything through so much, that sometimes we don't feel a need to actually do the action! Also, we're laid back...my wife is the one who may have issues with me...I get along with her fine. Contrary to your video, I've been told I'm neat and organized. Actually I do notice a lot of details. I think your husband's traits don't apply to all INTJ. Maybe some of it is his birth sign? You two are a good young couple!

Great work!

12:47 I've just gotten used to playing it cool when someone tells me to do something which I've already thought of doing

My father had a Genius IQ, and he earned my respect. So, if he told me to do something a certain way, I knew there was a real reason for doing it that way, even though he might not explain that reason at first. Because of him, I learned to follow how someone does something in detail. While big picture is very important to me, but if given enough detail, I will build a big picture understanding quickly. Otherwise, if you tell me to do something, and you don't give me enough information, I'll see more than one answer, and won't know how to proceed without getting more data. I have to know the over all purpose of what you want to do, and then I can find the fastest way to accomplish that goal. It would be faster to tell me your goal, than to go into detail at first, because I might be able to make leaps of logic very quickly. The other way I can learn is, just should me how you do something, and I'll record it in my mind, and Mimic it back to you as if I had been doing it for years. I'll make leaps of logic on why you do it the way you do as well. So in a way, I'm learning your experience as well. I also like just staying in the house. I literally don't leave the house for months at a time, only when I need food, and I'll buy enough food to usually go for a month or 2. A tank of gas can last me a year. I never feel stir-crazy. I read a lot, and usually use a text to speech program, that will read 6x times the speed. I'm a Multitasker, so I can listen to, and follow a book, while playing a game, with 3 keyboards and mice, while running a business. I also using the tts to read webpages, and comments. Yes, I can entertain myself, but I would rather have my girl with me, because she would be my favor book to read. She's always a interesting read. :) INTJ can adapt usually, because there is a chance that we already thought of that happening, and understand why it might happen, and what we might do about it, or will look at the cause and effect of it, and see the solution, or problem, or if there is a problem, or if it's really anything to worry about in the first place, or I might just say, I don't know, and start from there. I have a poor memory on certain things. Like how to do something, but I learn so fast, that I can usually to reteach myself how to do it with leaps of logic, and most people wouldn't even realize I didn't know how to do it when I started. I literally have to shift memory into habit, and trust myself when I start to do something, as if it's muscle memory. I'll know that I'm correct on something, but can't remember why. I can't remember that work I did to get to the answer, I just know that I'm right. :) Yeah, I can turn off my body signals, like am I hot or cold, am I hungry. If I'm doing something really interesting for my brain. I don't need sleep, I don't need anything but more of what I'm doing, and I can sleep for 2 hours, and wake up refreshed, like I had 8 hours sleep, and go right back to doing what I was into like I never stopped. For 1 month, I slept only 1 hour a day, and couldn't get enough of a book series I was reading. Probably the most fun I had in my life. :) Apparently, I'm a strange INTJ, because it's hard for me to focus fully on just 1 thing, because I'll focus on multiple things at the same time. I can focus on one thing to the point that I don't hear anything going on around me, but that doesn't happen very often, because I usually don't come across things that interesting. :) Doing just one thing is boring for me. I'll fall sleep after 15 minutes of driving, because I'll be too bored. I have to do something to keep my mind occupied, otherwise I'll just go to sleep. I use to drive 400 miles a day for work, and I use to read physical books to keep myself awake. Being able to multitask so well, made that very easy for me. Might be better to just suggest, or brainstorm on a idea, and if you ask us to do something, it would be better to give a reason why you want it, give us your planned goal. If you ask us to do something, without a purpose given, we might not remember it, but if you trigger our planning mode. So we are thinking about how to do what you ask, we are more likely to remember to do it. Just understand, we might have a different way of getting to the goal you set. Also, be pretty exact on what you want, don't leave us with multiple options. Otherwise, we might do the wrong thing, or not do it at all. Yeah, we make leaps of logic. We can take info from many sources and create our own solution. I sort of think of it as doing experiments. Sometimes though, I'll skip a few steps along the way, that I can't skip, and my plan will fail, but usually I'll just learn from the mistake, and create a solution, or learn I can't do it, and hire someone to do it for me. :) Yeah, I'll understand something in such away, that I can't explain it. It's usually because my understanding is from tons of small pieces of data over years of experience. I can't explain, because I can't point to where I got all my understanding from. I just know that I'm likely right, because my track record for things like that is very good, and that's what a INTJ really is.

🤣🤣🤣 it's possibly the tone of your voice when instructing the INTJ. If someone uses the wrong tone of voice, I stop listening. I'm physically present, even nodding my head along in response but I've stopped from the beginning

Deanna you have Astrid vibes (httyd)

This intj is a nature boy, your outdoors no outdoors is no an intj specific trait the nature /bushcrafting thing is my fortress of solitude

You two are like the best pair ever. May I ask why you named your channel Ghost of Jung?

Thx for explaining the "ivory tower". I just didn't understand why ppl think I think I know everything. On the one hand, they will come to me with qns or advice that are easy for me to answer, maybe bc I've already experienced same in my own life, & they thank me. I'm happy to hv helped. On the other hand, when they hv a qn I cant answer, the response is that I'm dumb or stupid or mean to withhold information. At the same time, who do I go to for advice?

Um, I’ll just go back and question my whole life. -enfp(zero attention, to anything, forget details)

Young INTJ from an old INTJ, get into nature, your “outside the box “ thinking will not only be helped but so will your relationship 🌺 Happily celebrating thirty years of marriage and no were not robots, were coconuts , hard on the outside, sweet and warm on the inside and so loyal they would save your life if you were stranded on a desert island 🏝

Both of us INTJ’s and INTP’s are very big picture oriented. Lol

lovely, thank you for sharing.

I'm an istj, time to find for me an intj partner