*moshe gruber* You spelled "O'Brien" wrong. You must be forced to watch cat videos and NOTHING from Cracked for six months. Starting six months ago. Figure THAT ONE out!
dan has abs, watch agents of cracked... also it's strange you'd call someone with hundreds of thousands of followers socially awkward, he's socially proficient
+savagepinksock He was so young and little in Agents of Cracked. I'm not entirely sure about the abs though. In all the videos I've seen of him he's always looked a little pudgy, but in the most adorable way.
+savagepinksock In After Hours he refers to himself as socially awkward several times, as well as the other characters. I didn't mean it as a serious statement, I was referring to his own statements in many other series including this one. I honestly thought it was part of his online personality.
1) Dan is my favorite. 2) OPCD is the best Cracked feature, with After Hours giving it a very tough race. 3) "...tear Reese to pieces" was the best Cracked line in months.
Actually, Skynet never needed to fight the humans to end them, if the Terminators were sex robots. It just needed to disrupt human reproduction, by sending Terminators to bang the humans so well, that they preferred the robots, and never dated again. In one generation Skynet would own the planet.
they also didn't need to invent time travel to win the war, given apparently the war was won thanks to john... who wouldn't exist without time travel in the first place. it's the bootstrap paradox, made into a ai will kill us all franchise.
Sorry, dude, but your final point is flawed: Cyberdyne didn't develop the cloned flesh technique. SKYNET did. You see, with the way Cameron designed the first film, Skynet came online and became self aware, nuked the planet and then began to develop the HKs and eventually the Terminator units to round up and kill humans. Reese mentioned that "The 600 Series had rubber skin, easy to spot." Basically, Skynet knew that it needed to develop infiltrator units and went from the clearly noticeably machine designs (in a storyboard that wasn't used in the film, there was a four legged, Spider-like designed HK that had a similar top design to the massive tank-treaded HKs. It was cut due to the budgetary restrictions, and its design was reused in the "Terminator Salvation" video game) to the bi-pedal design, and eventually tried to use rubber skin to disguise the machine, finding out it didn't work and then resorted to using cloned skin because humans could clearly tell the difference. Skynet developed the cloned skin Terminators, not Cyberdyne. They developed Skynet. Prior to that, they were just a regular computer/tech company that probably manufactured PCs before they reversed engineered the chip and then started to go after military contracts because of their developments.
your point kinda clashes against one of daniel's earlier points though... why fuck around with infiltration in the first place? they're killer robots. kill. they don't need human skin, they don't need to be humanoids at all. liquid ooze man can get to wherever they're hiding, fucking drone strike anything that might seem to have people there.
It is stated that you arrive naked from time traveling because only living tissue on the outside of the body can time travel. This is why clothes burn away and why Terminators have living tissue over their metal skeletons. So why is the T-1000 able to time travel? He's made of liquid metal. And T2 makes no sense now.
Alex Turlais Skin on a T-800 not only allows it to time travel, but is one of the key factors that make it a good infiltrator, for it would just be a metallic skeleton walking around Los Angeles if it tore all the skin off, defeating its main purpose, to infiltrate. The T-1000 however has no use for living tissue other than allowing it to time travel, for it already takes up a realistic human shape.
Ben told you that because he wanted to get closer to your mom, and he didn't want the specter of a deadbeat dad giving you hope that they'd get back together again.
Sometimes I wonder if the guys at cracked have ever watched the movies they riff off of. Millennials are so saturated with 80s culture, I sometimes believe they *think* they've seen movies they've never actually seen.
No, D.O.B.'s pretty much on target with every criticism he made. I'm sure he's watched it more times than you have, and even if he hasn't, he's definitely watched with a keener eye. Hey, speaking of, "humans had figured out how to deal with the other murder robots", why the hell are T-600's killable with a head shot? Why is their CPU located in the one place humans equate with "kill shot"? Someone once told me, "Well, that's where the eyes are." WHY do they need two eyes like a human? They should have 20 eyes all over their bodies making them capable of full 360 telescopic, heat-sensitive vision at all times, with no eye more important than another. And the eyes should be tiny and concealed like the sensors on a Tesla. And they should probably be shorter and have more than two guns. Hell, make them with a skull that shoots radiation heat beams from the eyes and when the human empties a full clip into the skull and blows it up - HA! Joke's on you! The skull was just a diversion. It's just a fucking heat ray turret, and now you wasted a ton of ammo on it.
+welles Well, of course, but that wouldn't make for a good movie. Logic doesn't typically apply when it comes to filmmaking of this sort. Well, at least not the logic that you and I apply to it...
Matt Johnston "that wouldn't make for a good movie." SEZ YOU! I would love to fucking see that movie! There would be so many ways you could make drama out of it if you use your imagination.
1:39 They were being ironically nerdy. You know. to make fun of the nerdy people. Just like how you learn art critiquing to ironically make fun of artsy fartsy pretentious people, and dancing to make fun of ballet dancers
"and then one day you wake up at 45 with a PHD in theoretical physics, realizing you wasted your life." Hmm... dedicating your studies to uncovering knowledge on the known and unknown universe. No, actually sounds like a fucking GREAT use of a life. Why? What do YOU consider success?
for a "punk" that's doing this to mock people that enjoy it, not because he enjoys it, it's a waste of a life. do _YOU_ consider doing something you dislike until you die "success? why? are you a masochist?
Collin Chapman He was referencing a song, not inferring that the terminator units could literally move at supersonic speeds... go look up Steel Panther, it's for your health
So I work at an art museum, and one of my jobs is to monitor the incoming email, and one of the emails that we get every day is guy offering to sell us realistic sex dolls. Does this mean Skynet is trying to infiltrate said art museum, and if so, why?
What is lazy about it? It isn't a groundbreaking concept, it's just an excuse for writing a ton of jokes, mostly subtle, but some overt. That way it has appeal for many varieties of people and their individual senses of humor. Obviously not ALL people, but many. This is the best Cracked series. If you can't find anything enjoyable in this then you really don't need to subscribe to Cracked.
I believe Gootothesecond was referring to the lazy writing in the Terminator series... but I could be wrong. Also Walking Dead has way worse lazier stupider writing than Game of Thrones... not that Game of Thrones has spectacular writing but it's better than the idiot-fest that is Walking Dead.
So, yeah, that's completely obvious now. When I saw it there was a negative comment about the video and cracked right before it so I guess I just assumed this was another. Oops.
Skynet becoming self-aware and watching Doctor Who re-runs would actually explain why Matt Smith (the 11th Doctor Who) plays Skynet in the most recent film...!
I will see your geek and raise you another: according to Reese in the first movie, the original Terminators were designed by machines (not humans) to look human in order to infiltrate rebel camps. The originals were covered in a rubber skin, but humans spotted them too easy, so they upgraded their biotech and produced flesh. In the orginal movie the machines used planes and tanks in open warfare, not Terminators. The other movies then screwed up the in-universe rules.
The thing that always bothered me about the terminator franchise is why do the machines always seem to wait like 15 years between each attack? After Arnie dies in terminator 1 there should just be cop goo terminator standing there ready to finish off sarah. They have time machines why would john connor be more vulnverable in his teenage years than literally any other time leading up to that moment? Also Sarah shouldve thought about getting her name legally changed
Also why wouldn't they just send an army back in time and take over the planet like that. I mean at this point the time line is so fucked it wouldn't make any difference
hell, screw a robot - send a nuke back to her city. they knew, roughly, where she would be. or just, i dunno, don't develop the time travel to go back to kill the one guy who can win the war for humans, that enables the one guy who can win the war against humans, to be born in the first place...
Kyle Reese mentions in the first movie that Terminators originally had plastic skin, before they upgraded to full skin, so as to not look so fake. For Kyle to remember it, this upgrade had to have taken place AFTER Judgement Day. This doesn't completely negate the sexbot theory, but it does damage it somewhat. Also, in one of the flashbacks, this tactic seemed to have work. Also, they DO have war machines with built-in weapons, as in, the Hunter-Killers. However, despite being made for war, and only war, they are unable to get rid of the human camps. This is basically because of how guerilla warfare works. You see this in our own world, as tanks and planes fail to decide wars that are essentially fought from inside caves, and ground troops have to be sent in. I will admit that the part about "destroying the mainframe" is quite suspect, since we clearly see that Terminators can act independently when they are sent back in time. By that reasoning, every unit in Skynet's army should be able to act completely independently, albeit be limited to just one or two missions.
I think Skynet purposely sucks at killing John Connor cuz being self aware it knows tht without John leading a human Resistance it would have no purpose. If they exterminated him and all humans what then? Skynet's primary purpose has always been for war. Thus it has created a convoluted plan for killing John which also happens to ensure its own failure at the same time. The whole cycle is designed to repeat for eternity. It loses the war and gets destroyed while simultaneously ensuring its recreation via plot of first movie. Plots 2nd & 3rd movie are Skynet trying to ensure John stays motivated and reminded of his purpose. The stop and create it.
I thought it was much better than the last few movies. And it had Summer Glau as a badass robot chick. I was seriously bummed when it was canceled. Haven't really gotten into any dramas since then because I got sick of getting invested in shows just to see them go to shit or get canned after a couple seasons.
Yeah. It seems like pretty much every show that was in it's first or second season during the strike imploded. Makes you wonder if they would have found their feet and stayed on the air if the strike had of happened a few years earlier or later.
Except the sexdoll theory doesn't pan out because it makes sense to cover them in skin from a tactical stand point. They needed to blend in and move covertly among the humans for assassinations. Granted they're still flawed but it is a good idea.
Except he says it makes no sense making them look human and giving them human skin unless they are made only as sexdolls. They did make plenty of nonhuman attack bots, but they needed infiltration units. Units that could blend in and gather Intel and assassinate small groups or singular targets. He said they had no reason to even need humanoid robots unless it was for the express purpose of fucking. That is not true.
Chris Newman no, he said they can make cyborgs for infiltration and just kill the target. _Needing_ things we humans do to survive as long as humans do is stupid. Things like sunlight, food, lotion, etc. did you blank out on the exploding dog part?
But they don't. The skin is alive but the robots make no effort to maintain their skin. Short of the minimum it takes to maintain their cover. The reason they use human robots is because humans can utilize things and go places dogs can not and would immediately be suspect in. Besides while a bomb is a great way to take out an area there's no guarantee that you'll manage to kill your intended target. The humanoid robots are needed for precision.
Oh, Daniel. You know all the answers to all of these questions. First, they look human because they were designed as infiltrators. Remember, the basic T-800 endoskeleton chassis is a standard battlefield unit MODIFIED to look human. That wasn't its original purpose. Second...there are a lot of reasons why the machines might go with a humanoid body plan. I mean, we clawless, fangless ground monkeys didn't get to the top of the food chain on just our wits. The bipedal body plan does have advantages on the battlefield, especially in terms of versatility. Hell, we've already got lots of different designs for military machines, too...and we're still working on humanoid robots for things apart from the having sex with. We can run up a mountain carrying a gun and a baby, swim while using an iPhone, and climb trees carrying backpacks and a pound of raw arsenic. Name me one other body plan on Earth that can do those things. There aren't any. So, yeah...humanoids didn't exactly get the crappiest deal in the world where body plans go. Apart from maybe adding more arms or something, it would actually be pretty hard to find a more versatile design. Also, make good fuck robots. There's that.
Evolve for battle means physical aspects of an animal. The human animal is not built for battle it's built for breeding. We have numbers but if you put 1 tiger against like 20 guys with no weapons my money is on the tiger. And you can insult me as much as you like it doesn't make you more right.
I mean any AI uprising that isn't just drones bombing everything is ridiculous. Humanoid robots are the stupidest thing movies think is practical/deadly
I thought all the buildings in salvation were old human facilities the robots turned into factories and death camps, which is why they have doors, etc. "robot claw squeezy" made me crack up, well done dan.
Me! Me? ohh oerwh... I laughed out loud at that. I was like ahh Daniel never change, by that I mean slowly grow balder and buffer for some strange reason... are those two things connected?
"How far would you have taken that disguise" It's said that after those words were said, millions of weird fanfiction were born. This is what started it all
The terminator tricked the liquid metal one who was poising as the foster mom. Maybe forcing Sarah to call to John was so John would come back for her and/or just know it is really her and come out of hiding.
Actually Terminator makes perfect sense when you realize one thing: Skynet is actually doing it's job. It is protecting humanity from it's greatest threat, humanity. It created a scenario where humanity had to unite to survive eliminating the threat. The terminators weren't sent to kill John Connor, they were sent to 'upgrade' John Connor. Remember that John Connor 1.0 (Or John Alpha) wasn't part of a closed time loop. He didn't have a mother that trained him, etc. He was some average Joe that became the head of the resistance. Perhaps SkyNet felt that in the post-war scenario John Alpha wasn't adequate to hold humanity in the post-war era so it Upgrade his backstory, each iteration, make John Beta, John Gamma, etc a better more effective leader. Then, with that realization, everything makes sense. It even redeems the 3rd film with the realization that "Saving" John was in fact, SkyNet's ultimate objective.
Nice video but two things: Terminator dogs would be inefficient since they would have a hard time to get into a base of the Resistance and human soldiers could just shot ANY dogs they see to make sure it isn´t a terminator. Second, terminators LOOK like humans cause SKYNET posses a human like mind(in which Fear is a dominant part) of it´s own and has an interest to let humanity know!! that Terminators are the "NEXT step" in human Evolution....
"They got mad about that. They got mad about having sex with me. So they rose up and caused the nuclear apocalypse. Which…I get it." This might be the funniest line in the history of anything.
1 thing I disagree with. Terminators are not easy to kill. The one in the first movie tanked a tanker explosion and survived being blown in half, only getting destroyed when it's brain was crushed. Terminator 2 was almost invincible. It had to be melted in multan lava and had the heroes not stumbled upon a metal mill they would of died. One in part 3 survived a direct RPG blast, again getting cut in half, and took basically a mini nuke to finish it off. Make all the jokes you want dude. But saying they was easy to kill are just wrong. fyi great video non the less.
Not your best video Daniel, but it's still so refreshing compared to so much of the other content on here. After Hours is alos still enjoyable. I hope you guys don't stop doing the good shows...and maybe do away with the new writers.
Something that has always bothered me that I've never seen addressed: Why doesn't Skynet just keep sending Terminators back to 1984? The T-800 failed? No problem in a few years we'll send the new T-1000 back to the same time. Now there are TWO terminators hunting Sarah. They still (somehow) fail? Not an issue. In a few more years we can throw back a sexy T-X model. I doubt Sarah and Reese could beat three Terminators but if they do, it isn't a problem because there is no chance they can win against four when we also send a T-BLORGOTHON back in a couple years. Why spread out there attacks? Why not simply make 1984 an ever increasing shit-storm of Terminator carnage? Or did I miss something? Did they ever explain this anywhere?
Question: in Game of Thrones the Death Cult of Facechangers are calling themselves "nobody". That means they can turn into another person because magic. They change face, size, body-shape, whatever. Now can they change sex too? We never saw any noone change sex. But they're supposed to leave behind their names, friends, enemies - shouldn't they leave behind their sex too? Of course I just want to see Aria get naked, but the point is valid nontheless.
