Why Videogame Heroes Should NEVER Save The Princess (Pixel Pete) 

And mario only saves her cause he gets a lot of money

Bowser just wants to keep everyone safe

@@auser4649 *acts like he didn't cause so much damage that the universe had to be reset*

@@theshyguymaster59 she could be just as authoritarian as the rest. Just polite about it.

Thats why Mario abandoned peach to stay with bowsette kkkk

poor simple honorable Pete. he's a mix between ned stark and ned flanders

@@dorkly if he truly wanted to make things better for the peasants, he could have taken the long job, become the Duke, and work at lessening the Duchess's lust for their blood, and slowly change her mindset to a better one Or, he could drop the whole "honorable" bit, and revel in his new power, with a (I assume) beautiful Duchess at his side And both paths would probably lead to having a family of his own

OmegaUltima I get where you’re coming from, but Pixel Pete was following the best survival advice: don’t stick your D in crazy

@@steveishere8808 Wait.. "Don't?" Well shit, that explains a lot. Still would Detroit Smash, though.

@@steveishere8808 that only really applies if oneself is not _also_ crazy; I mean, Peter killed 50 penguins to rescue her; what could you call killing penguins other than "crazy"?

8 Bit Bunny survived!

@@dorkly from the looks of things, he was better off before

But what did it cost him? *Looks at the dead bodies* Everything.

@@dorkly yeah, the guns are super buggy

@@dorkly guys if you ever make a video game DO IT! and i will back it on Kickstarter...... but given how long it took i will only back the base game, unless there's free dlc where we can kick their ruler ass so hard and let the people live in there kingdom in with people voting rights and all that!

Cogbro didn’t bowser say that in one of the dorkly skits as well?

@@hansstrudel9614 *pretty sure that was the joke*

Actually... it is a "thing" that Bowser has "terraforming" magic's... so... yeah, he is the one that came up with the lava, fire bars, fire bubbles, and road's to nowhere... it's also why most of the people from mushroom kingdom can't help you: they were sealed inside the question blocks... i mean, i know it's a joke from an older dorkly skit... but the joke kind of dies when you know the "details"...

They were barns.

C'mon stealing from another dorkly

We dont talk about THAT time.......

@Mister Fox Although I do have to say Sonic didn’t kiss her. She kissed him. He had no consent.

@@comicfan1324 , ohh well I just thought of it as how bad the game was but that works too 😅

@Mister Fox Not as bad as *Sonic’s School House, Sonic Leapfrog, Sonic 3D Blast, and Sonic Drift*

@@comicfan1324 , .......You went dark comic fan, even though I only know of sonic school house , BUT STILL!

Pixel Pete vs a purge of thousands

That's what they get for not helping. Who would not help someone trying to free such a kindhearted princess?

Close supporters are seldom safe from prosecution by the paranoid and delusional leadership

Princess is another word for Duchess what do we expect

Just like bioshock and halo 5

sure, but what if it was LEGALLY DISTINCT from princess peach?

This is game theory’s version of peach

You watch too much dorkly and game theory

i mean. peach's revenge

well considering that video already exists, she is far more brutal then this chick is.

Now we must wait for the dlcs

Nice

*AND THE GUNS WORK NOW*

@@tophatinpfp8429 Now the only thing left to do is wait for the VR support.

At a cost

I'll Gonna Wish To Marry The Princess , And Become The Next KING... Then Change Rules And Bring Peace To This "Monarch Kingdom"... And Then,, Accept Any "Punishment" She Wanted To Do In "Our" Bedroom 😅

@Lyra Heartfold Well... 😅 Then, I'll Try To "Persuade" Her Little By Little ,, To "Be A Less-Cruel" So This Kingdom Can Produce More Foods And Goods... (And Giving Her "Prize" And Praise Whenever She Can Do It... ^^") . *OR* My Last Plan,, Just Wait Until Her Death, Soo The Throne Will Be Fall To Me ,, or Her Childrens (WHICH IS I'll Raise To Be A Good Boy/Girl... ^^" At Least, There's A Hope... ^_^)

My wish would be placement as the commander-in-chief of her armies - and then lead those armies in a coup against her once I was certain of the loyalties of the officers under my command to myself over the monarch (which shouldn't be too hard in this situation - after all, her armies didn't really do anything as the lizard took their duchess prisoner: I'm guessing that she's not very popular even among the other nobles due to these circumstances...).

@@FrankCastle-tq9bz Your a genius. Just be careful because she seems smart enough that she would plant some moles among your officers. Also she will probably raise up many "bad" nobles to take the place of all the ones she kills for treason. These will be played against you and each other to maintain a power balance. Also consider that these seem to be medieval times so the standing army is likely not to be THAT big. This means that your primarily relying on feudal levies. So your political opponents should be able to balance against you fairly easily. Let's not forget that the queen will likely also have her own guard force which in itself will be decently powerful. At this point, I think the best time to strike would be during a rebellion, but even if you manage to kill the queen and crush your enemies on the field of battle, your probably going to still be seen as an opportunistic tyrant who placed the queen back in power, only to backstab her latter. Any failures in your rule, no matter how minor, will only serve as "proof" that your incompetent and will only help the next person to overthrow you. As I see it, the only "good" option is to kill her, but even then the Kingdom is likely to be thrown into a war of succession. I guess you could also co-opt the coup and force the princess to be your wife in exchange for her keeping her life and title. That one is pretty dark. Plus it probably ends with a knife in your heart and your "wife" raising your child as the next dark lord.

Matthew Normally I would agree with you, but in this case I would say that this is unlikely - this duchess got her ass handed to her by a bunch of turtles and, by her own admission, her subjects did not fight for her! I find it unlikely that she would be able to infiltrate the ranks of the army with agents of her own because no one is loyal to her! If a bunch of turtles managed to get the best of her, I won’t have any problems handling her after defeating the turtles that kicked her ass - she would likely consider me her loyal servant right up to the point I spring the coup on her and I doubt that her personal guard would put up a fight (after all, they either were defeated by the turtles or else just stepped aside - either way, I don’t see them giving me trouble...): what comes after the coup might pose a challenge to me, but the coup itself should be a simple matter as the duchess is clearly not an effective ruler.

Lightning Chaser she probably gonna slit Pete’s throat like she did badger lol

I'd like but its 69

SILENCE, do not spoil the 100% completion reward!

She doesn’t drink beer… she only drinks the blood of her enemies or wine

She also uses the tears of children to salt her food

Femto: That's cute

@@JP_Crimson there. I changed it.

Yup

Everything.

399...

Waaah

Everything in balance.

Pixel Packs have been implemented.

I think she said "Dad" instead of God

Blue Bee B nah g she said “God himself”

Welcome to monarch's making up shit to validate their claim to rule.

divine mandate bro

I suppose there is some grounded truth in that. A significant debate topic within the bible is the divine right of kings. You can pull a good number of scriptures to determine if the writers were in favor of or against it. Although considering we all know how that ended, there might have been some bias.

Alot people later got beheaded

Or the English civil war.

Knowing about the French Revolution didn’t help the Romonovs much.

That thing hasn't happened yet. It's all oppression and exploitation until the common folks find a new world and start oppression and exploitation themselves.

I like turtles Are you responding to me or William?

Problem is the guns are super buggy, just think of those bunnies Spritely Sam.

Ah. Another man of culture.

which episode was that?

Every government. There's no country on earth where men with guns aren't sent to your house if you don't pay taxes.

@@itaybron Nope, went right past the kennel with no mention of the quote.

"Bruh stop commenting, you make the most generic statements"

The problem with the final season of Game Of Thrones was that they rushed it.

Spoilers... I still haven't seen GOT.

69 likes. Yes.

Ouch...

Until season 8

Not if he had chosen the right 'reward'.

Or in another spa

Or actually in another barn

All he has to do is betray the duchess - she seems to have complete faith in Pete and Pete alone, so orchestrating a coup under her nose shouldn't be that hard...

ChampionUmbra *gives smash ultimate*

Ladd M yeah I know. I was making a joke

@@laddkenn have you ever heard of r/wooosh

@@laddkenn boi you cant do that due to being the person that originates said thing therefore you cant do that

@@infinitum8314 mirror force

Ah, but the hero happened to be male, and the bloodthirsty villain happened to be female, so him using violence on her would be problematic. I'm sure you now see the folly of your statement.

@@ComicGladiator I dont see wario caring about that, after all he killed many female enemies and even shoulder bash captain syrup

@@ComicGladiator idk about that. Wario didn't have a problem kicking captain Syrup's shapely, well-toned ass. Kirby didn't have a problem beating Susie or Queen Sectonia senseless either.

Pacifism he literly said he killed to get to her

MagnetoDorito There were a ton of other female foes Kirby leveled.

Yep

Me: No idea...bye *teleports away*

That was why they stood silent

@@KW-de9sc that just made them look like cowards.

You forget a word?

arachnid gaming you still understood though right?

@@Perdix64 nope wish I did tho

arachnid gaming what the?

Toads are still frogs though.

for the first and possibly last time

...Shovel Knight

Huh, neat

The people who were gonna make ant simulator spent all their crowd funding money on drugs and prostitutes.

^this guy gets it

Pixel Pete 2: The Revolution

Pixel Pete 2: I was only following orders!

Pixel Pete 2: I’m next to be killed

Your profile picture makes it even better

Pixel Pete 2: Honey, I Shot the Monarch

Austin Reed actually it was more like 50 to 100, because this whole thing was a trip.

In the wise words of a old man who’s has weird breathing and has as purple vines. OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO

well, close

^DEEP cut, boomstick

The Duchess is going to paint the town red!

I did

She is not putting up with bitmap Badger!

i did.

Well to be fair for peach’s case how many times have the toads let bowser kidnap princess peach It’s like twice a day but we all know peach is just secretly visiting her son

@@firenze6424 I mean, how is Toad supposed to defeat Bowser & his armada?

MagnetoDorito I mean it’s proven that Toad can in fact get Mario’s power ups

Dillon George also they could use weapons in paper Mario they atleast had Spears and make escape tunnels for peach anti clown car canons atleast do something! I mean most the times bowser doesn’t even plan his attack he just walks in and nabs peach toads are friggen worthless

IDK the Mario is missing Flash game doesn't make it seem that bad, but it is likely to spread a yeast infection.

or sex

Should’ve lol

much better ending

judicial or ex-judicial?

@@rsmith02 well, considering the fact that the princess is now back in rule, And she wants to punish all of the subjects who didn't prevent her kidnapping/ the coupe, I would say this is juidicial, as all the people being punished commited treason

As an authoritarian monarch means all powers would eventually return to her, she can technically enforce judicial execution.

1 year still good!

...Yes

Seymour13 ok thanks

The end boss is pretty boring and fairly easy to beat. I'm sure somebody else can do it. Besides the world is pretty much fine. There's like 5 areas minimally tainted by corruption and the rare monster raid on travelers dumb enough to go it alone without weapons. Most of the monsters seem pretty content to just chill out by themselves. Now if you excuse me I have an entire forest to scavenge every last mushroom, apple, and beehive from before mounting a majestic stag and riding stoicly across the country side. Then hunt down Yiga clan members for their awesome weapons and bananas!

Tim Woods tbh bananas sound better then saving the world

marry paya

well, "okay" is a relative term. pete's about to have to be complicit in a political purge

@@dorkly At least he got some nice boots out of it. You know they'll all notice when he is crushing people with them

DeciDoesNothing at least the last thing they see will the soles of some really fancy new doc martens

BlackenedGass everyone else! not so much..

thanks!

@@dorkly they make me laugh so hard

pixel pete is anime, actually

"go back in the cell and let me lock it." gg.

At least you ask for something sensible instead of taking a kiss on the cheek and a cake

And that's why I think Luigi gets more play than Mario getting cucked by a Turtle. Where do you think all those kids came from? One of them even has blonde fking hair!

Pixel pete should of asked for sex instead of new boots

@@dragonhearted7761 Oh he's trying to be the new duke. Respectable.

^ this

And you'd be able to think of that on the spot being stared at by a woman who just killed another person who is not two feet away from you all while having the mind of a confused middle-aged farmer?

would work...

What about a avenge video were Pete saves the kingdon from the princess

for the emperor

@@sovietlamar1294 I was gonna say for the silent king, but sure, for the emperor.

risky kink, gotta respect it

My request would have been to marry her.

spritely sam will be the first one executed in the guillotines

Dorkly oh but the guillotines are super buggy

@@dorkly yeah, they are even worse then the guns were.

Best around Yeah Mario died, and he isn’t even IN this game!

@@dorkly oh God, not Spritely Sam!

Artistic Twist HE HAS A TOAD ON HIS HEAD TOO

Pretty sure you meant Louis XIV, one of the most famous absolute monarchs of history.

Not everyone had an ad or the same ad.

@@jackcutter2, i think he is talking about, sponsor aka MK

@@Cheshiremd what is MC?

@@Salty-Doggy MortalKombat

@@jackcutter2 the ad at the end. This is a sponsored video.

(Bows) All hail to lady Death shull!!!

All hail princess Death Shull!

shhhhhh 🔥😈🔥

She made some decent points.

All be honest it would just be another pixel based platformer that would get lost in the library of steam games that maybe already does something like that.

Even he's not this graphic.

Sounds like a sweet deal tbh

That's wrong. Ever heard of absolutism, which is a 18th century thing?

@@leichtmeister Actually, many historians question whether absolutism ever truly existed in the 18th century. Even the kings of France were heavily hamstrung by bureaucracy and the nobility.

School has failed you. Monarchy is a government system whereby a king or queen rules over the people. An oligarchy is a rule by a small group of individuals over the people. The princess is clearly the only authority here.