Why We Really Broke Up + Moving On 

watching this after watching your vlogmas w max makes me so happy, you waited for someone who treats you so well and cares about you so much!! i’m so happy for you and can only wish for the same to eventually happen to me🤩💛 thanks for posting this vid everything you said is so spot on x

i LOVE when you open up to us

You have a such a rare, beautiful soul. You RADIATE love. You deserve the best - love seeing you mature and happy in NYC!

Just finished watching this video... wow Gretchen I've just gained so much more respect for you. You're so brave to be talking about this on such a public platform. Everything you said was so true about having to love yourself before you love someone else because another person can't fill that void for you; you have to fill it yourself. Love you so much girl thanks for sharing everything! I hope you have an amazing summer in NYC love you!

i dated a boy for all of high school and it was so hard breaking up! any long term relationship, you dont really know how to be alone, or how to be you, without them. im glad youre doing well

Please don't underestimate the amount of courage it took to make this video. You should be so so proud of yourself, and along the way you're helping so many of your followers. Love this and you!!

This was such a great video, and I feel like a lot a lot of people needed to hear what you had to say not to be nosey about your relationship, but to help with theirs and their future relationships! You did this in such a mature way, and I know every single person watching this got something from it! Love you so much

I needed to hear this so badly. Thank you so much Gretchen.

I can definitely relate to being in love with the idea of love. I've been in a few relationships that have not been healthy and I clearly was more invested in the other person than they were in me. Your and Lauren Elizabeth's video have helped me realize that ultimately your health and well being is more important than any boy. If you don't love yourself first, you can't love anyone else without losing yourself. Also if that person cannot be there for you when you need them, they are not worth it. Breakups are hard, but sometimes they are necessary for your overall well being. Thank you Gretchen for always been so open and sharing your advice and experiences. I've never even met you but I feel like I can relate to you so deeply because of how open and honest you are in your videos. Love you Gretchen, keep being you💗💗

I always knew Justin was NOT good for you as boyfriend. Just the few minutes on video of him was a huge red flag. he did not treat you as you should be treated. I never sad anything to you all this time, because I thought it was never really any of my business, but you truly do deserve better-someone who respects you for just being you....and by the way, being single is soooooo healthy. how can one expect to have a healthy relationship with another until they REALLY know themselves and love who they are as an individual...that process takes time on one's own. There are plenty of guys out there...no matter your age.

Okay I'm going to put myself out there for a second....I don't want to say I understand what you are going through Gretchen, because I don't. I'm almost 18 and have never had a boyfriend. I used to feel awful about myself and so jealous when I would see other couples. When I felt this way I always reminded myself that I can't look for love, it needs to find me. I know how dangerous it would be to be in a relationship just to be in one and I'm trying to focus on loving myself first, before I love anyone else. To anyone else who feels like me, just know that good things are and will be happening, but don't waste your time waiting. Trust that someone amazing will enter your life when the time is right and until then focus on being and loving yourself. Xo Thanks for putting yourself out there Gretchen-I hope you realize how amazing you make your subscribers feel and how much of a positive role model you are in people's lives.

just saw sarah burgetts video on almost the same thing and saw you in the comments! I'm assuming thats what inspired this video lol

You're so strong we love you glb

Wowow I just watched this really drunk rn and sobbed my eyes out lol

Watching this in 2019 and you're now so happy with Max. I just want to give baby Gretch a hug and let her know that someone good is coming into your life soon!

you're so strong. so many young girls are so lucky to have someone like you to look up to.

im so so happy that you were able to use your platform to be vulnerable... very inspiring to us all

I dated my ex for almost 5 years, we broke up like a year ago and everything you said is so spot on. I tried the rebound thing too, then when that was over missed my ex so much. This video is so helpful, love it ❤️

Why is this in my recommended? I about freaked tf out. I was like what, she and max just moved in together. Whew, glad I realized it was old video!

Its ok BUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. You're only 20 and are learning so much from your experience and you've got your whole life ahead of you to fall in love with more people.

Dude woah you're so inspiring and your vulnerability in this is really cool. I'm kinda like something w someone rn who I dated in middle school lmaooo. We're now about to be juniors in hs. We aren't official and we know in the future we could be. Ik what I want in a relationship. I've always been the type to not settle but it's scary. I don't wanna get hurt. I also don't know if what he wants is the same as me which is hard. My lifestyle of being someone who's really shameless about their faith and love for God might not be what he wants. It's a big part of my life I need someone to bring me up in my faith. It's scary but this vid def help me understand that you can't force anything and if what you want isn't the same as them it just can't work. I love u so much. You've always been like my fav youtuber cause you're so similar to me. Keep being the amazing person you are. I'm so glad to see you starting to love yourself again.

I cried honestly.... broke up with my ex-boyfriend 7 months ago and I feel the same way as you.

This hit me so hard I relate so hard idk why I'm crying in the club rn

You are such a beautiful person Gretchen! This video really hit home for me and I just wanted to thank you for being brave and sharing this with us! I love you and even though I've never met you in person, I am here for you! Never change for anyone! You are amazing just the way you are.

I relate to this so much, when me and my ex broke up I felt so much like I had to fill the void and that I needed someone else in my life, but after dating a couple other people I realised that I was literally just dating for the sake of it, and that I didn't really like the people and it wasn't making me happy, and that I needed to just take some time to be selfish and focus on me! It's so weird to hear the things you've been thinking come out of someone else's mouth haha! True love will come when it's meant to, and there's no sense in worrying about it or trying to force it if it's not there :) love you Gretchen, you're one of my favourite youtubers and one of the sweetest, most relatable people, I never understand when people bash you, and I hope you truly enjoy the single life whilst you can!

Appreciate u so much for making this video ❤️❤️

Love this video girl I feel. I got dumped at Wendy's. smh

Thank you for filming a video like this to help the girls who are in the same boat as you! We all love you!

I'm happy I saw this video because it put things into perspective for me in my relationship. I've been with my guy for over 2 years and I've had some doubts lately, I haven't been sure if these doubts are legit or just because we've been together so long that things aren't fresh and new anymore. This made me realize that I've been too hard on my boyfriend lately, he's awesome and i think sometimes my expectations are too high. The fact is that he's always there when I need him to talk to, he's makes sure that if I have an issue (with him or something else) that we talk through it and solve it, and I always feel like I can be myself around him. So I guess it was kind of backwards from the perspective that others may have gained from this video, but I hope everyone who may be struggling in their relationship sees this and is able to gain insight from it. Not all relationships are meant to be, but as you said it always falls into place. Maybe mine won't work out in the end either, but for now I gained a sunnier view of someone that I think I have been overlooking for too long Thank you! lots of love :)

you don't need someone who doesn't need you and you hit that so spot on in this vid thank you for making this

"You shouldn't talk to them, you shouldn't talk to their family!" "You shouldn't care about them!!" This is the exact same thing that I struggled with most! Break ups are one of the most confusing times in life. Go Gretchen you are amazing!!!!!

Went through pretty much the exact same thing in the middle of my freshman year of college, and I can honestly say it was the best decision for me. I got to focus on improving myself, my youtube channel and just becoming a better me :) I'm really proud of the decision I made and that I made my happiness a priority. Now over a year later I'm finally with someone who treats me right and I can look back knowing I did the right thing. If I could give my 18 year old self advice on this topic I would tell myself not to stay with someone you're unhappy with just because you are scared to be single. It's hard, but so worth putting your happiness first, the right person will come and trust me, someone who cares and loves you will eventually come

You're so brave for speaking about this! I have much respect for you and bby. Much love😘💖

Can you make an advice email? i am pretty sure most of us would like to email you when we are going through similar situations...

I love you Gretchen❤️

Thank you for making this video, you are so strong! I loved hearing your opinion on all of this. Just wondering, do you and Justin speak at all anymore? I always find it hard when ending a relationship to stop talking completely

YOURE SERIOUSLY THE CUTEST MOST FUN BUBBLIEST BEAUTIFUL PERSON AND YOURE GUNNA FIND A FUNNY FUN LOVING HOT GUYYY AND HAVE THE CUTEST FAM WITH LIL BABIES AND PUPPIES LOVE U GRETCHEN

I remember breaking up with my highschool boyfriend of 2.5 years in college and it was so hard. SO hard. But, I am different now. I took that time to learn so much about myself and really grow into the woman I wanted to be. When a breakup happens it's like climbing a hill and you keep climbing and keep climbing and you slip up and fall back down 4 ft but you keep climbing and then you get to the top and it's flat ground and you can RUN. The top of that hill is that moment when you're like "I hope they're doing okay, because they were important to me, but really I'm happy with ME." You'll get to that flat ground and run and you won't second guess it. You're well on your way.

I am currently going through the moment when I realize that I am not okay like I thought I was and I miss my ex a lot. we broke up 3 months ago after almost 2 1/2 years and I had convinced myself I was fine and was numb the first 2 months and now I realize that I am not. You put what I am feeling into the exact rights words.

Gretchen ur skin looks sooooo good

Your relationship sounds just like mine! I was in a relationship too for 3 years and we were on and off for 8 months. We officially broke up 3 weeks ago today. It's been a tough few weeks. I have had break downs, but then some days I'm good. There's been so many times I want to text him.. but the reason I broke up with him is exactly what you felt. I need time to be by myself. I'm like you, I don't know how to be alone! I can't wait to get better

honestly, this is so crazy because it's so relatable. i genuinely appreciate your authenticity.

YES!!! omg just yes to everything you said ❤️

When my girlfriend broke up w me the only similarity was that she “lost herself” like you mentioned. I believe that was something we could have corrected but she wasn’t on the same page and that’s okay.

I LOVE YOU..........................MAHATMA GANDHI JI............................................🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

I felt the exact same way I was with my ex for almost 5 years because I was feeling we shouldn't break up at that point. I wasn't able to be myself anymore he was holding me back and I just wasn't sad when I broke up with him I wasn't sad because it was over for so long. Just wanted to say I really relate and when it happened I watched your videos and you really helped me find myself and I was able to open up and be myself with another person and we're so happy together. Thank you for being so open on your channel you're so inspiring and I love you I'll always watch your videos ❤️

thank you so much gretchen for this and opening me up! I just recently got of a relationship myself and i'm still trying to move on

Loved seeing this video from you and how open you are :)

You are the most beautiful human inside and out. We are all here for you and really appreciate your honesty. I love you so much Gretchen and know that you have great things to come!

Your beautiful Gretchen. You will find the perfect guy some day. Keep your head up!

THIS IS LITERALLY SO RELATABLE THANK YOU GRETCHEN

I LOVE YOU...........................GRETCHEN GERAGHTY...................................................

my boyfriend, who was my first boyfriend, just broke up with me yesterday. obviously i'm hurt and still shocked but I remembered you made this video and knew I had to watch it again. your video really helped gretchen thank you ily

Love you so much Gretchen

What do you use on your hair? And that hair so pretty

The one thing i realized when i went through my break up was that i put all my happiness into one person and that on my own, I couldnt make myself happy. I relied on someone who wasn't guaranteed in my life to be my happiness and that's what a lot of people don't understand. Nobody is permanent in your life. Nobody can promise you forever. So putting all your happiness into someone that could literally leave you in a second is why people have such a hard time getting through break ups. Whether it's death, someone cheated, or someone just falls out of love, that person can leave you whenever and when you're so in love, you dont even want to think about that happening, so most people don't. Also, giving all your time to that one person isnt helping either. You need time to yourself and friends, bc who is gonna be there for you when youre going through a break up? Yourself and friends! It's taken me a long time to finally make myself happy without someone else needing to be in my life to do it and i know whenever im ready to be with someone else, im going to learn from my mistakes.

Girl this was soo deep. And I felt the tears comin. Like I really feel the dark pain in your voice through out the video! And I couldn't agree with you any more. I'm very proud of you. And how far you've become! I can relate to you. I look up to you even though you're not that much older than me! I love you girl keep up with being so positive! 💙

Gretchen, this is so amazing, this opened up my eyes so much and I love how strong and courageous you are. You are so beautiful and you deserve more than the world.

i've never wanted to be your best friend more than I do right now. me and my boyfriend of a year and a half just broke up four days ago and everything you said in this video completely resonated with me. thank you for being the older sister I've never had!! ❤️

I broke up with my bf in february in my second semester of college. We dated for over a year and through my whole senior year and did so much together and pretty much everything you say is so relatable. So thank you so much for making this video because it honestly impacted me a lot

Thank you for making a video like this. I was dating this guy for two years and he broke up with me over a text message. It was extremely hard to be happy and I'm still not completely over it since it recently happened. I completely relate to being in love with the idea of love, I saw that he wasn't treating me right but I did nothing about it because I was just blinded by love. I realized when he broke up with me that I didn't even really love myself, so that's been something very difficult but I've slowly been working on changing that! This video has helped so much, thank you for sharing! ❤️

Thank you so much for opening up and I agree being single for a while is always the best thing after a long relationship. It's hard but after I did that and found myself, I found my boyfriend now who I have been with for a year and a half who is literally my best friend in the whole world. Just like you said, it will happen when you least expect it! 💕

I relate to this SO much. I have almost exactly the same feelings that you have but about my ex. I think it's amazing that you opened up about this, love you Gretchen!

Im going through a breakup with my boyfriend of a year right now, and this really opened my eyes and realize what really is important and it's myself. Mad respect for you Gretchen and thank you.

Going through the same exact thing. Thank you Gretchen, I needed this.

Gretchen I feel like you've grown up so much in the time that you have had this channel. You are one of my favorite RU-vidrs because not only do you say that you feel like your subscribers are your friends but you truly act like it and are very real with us. I have recently gone through a break up in a long term relationship and this has helped so much. Never stop making vids. I love you!!!!!!

I love this. I glad some one said it: its okay to be single. my friends and I are young and I've seen them run head first into so many relationships, just because they want to be wanted and they feel they need to be in love. such a good influence Gretchen, much love xx

i love how open you are about everything, this is why you're my favorite youtuber. love you gretchen!!❤️

ahhh I love this and I love you. This reflection shows so much maturity and strength & just you go girl! ❤️

I hope to be as strong as you one day ❤️

I love how open and honest you are. A lot of people go through this and I think this could be really helpful for those who feel the same!

My fav.

Always so much love for glb❤️

Between you, Sarah, & Lauren opening up about your breakups, I'm happy that I'm not going through this type of situation alone! I commented this on Sarah's video too, but this video has made a difference in my life and will make my decision easier! Thank you Gretchen 😘

Love how open your channel is! Everything you said was so honest and true. Can't wait to see what the future brings you!😊

Can we just take a moment to appreciate her eyebrows

love u so much!!!

I just want to give you the biggest hug! You WILL be ok. I got out of a marriage for this very reason. It's so hard to admit, but you'll be so much happier. You're right, the right person will come along. You're too busy being a boss right now to have a man. LOL Just my motherly advice.

Watching this after having a short term relationship summer 2022 and half of fall 2022. We were 2 people who just weren’t right for each other. Don’t think I was watching you on YT years ago when this was posted.

finally a youtuber who is so opening for us viewers! i love you so much!

such a good video. I honestly can relate to this on a personal level! love so much girl!

love you!!:))

You should also talk. It's not like ohhh he didnt do that so he is not the right for me and leave him. My gf was the same.. She never wanted to talk things out, just quite and slowly distancing.. What is wrong? Nothing, everything is allright, if she would just told me, i know i would change anything for here, as i allways did.. And then you just come out with that bs reason that you need to work on yourself, its obvioussly me, the attraction is not there..

Love you!!!

I have so much respect for you from this video.. I have been dating my boyfriend for three years & I am about to leave him for college. I really am praying it works out. If it doesn't I know what video to watch and who to watch get through it.

gretchen you're so strong for saying your opinion. watching you and justin was cute but i saw his moodiness on camera. like you said we weren't watching you guys 24/7 and could never see everything the real way but im happy that you were brave to say this. we love you.

This video really helped me. Im 18 and never had a boyfriend and I always felt like I needed one, I would change myself to try and get boys to like me. after this vid I feel like I should work on myself, enjoy myself, and the right person will come along when its meant to be.

this video was amazing and everything you said was so true and inspiring!! xoxo

Omg yes the pressure in high school to be in a relationship is actually real and I feel this exact same way because you broke up with your boyfriend around the same time I did and I couldn't agree more with what you're saying

Broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years last sep. and I remember shortly after you mentioned in a video that you and justin had broken up too. the relationship sounds similar to yours and it broke me. getting over it was so hard but i'm glad i can say i'm good now. thanks for making this video... so good to know other people have been in similar situations and sometimes i still need the reminder that i deserved better

Gretchen, You are so loved by all your fans and we are all here for you! Stay Strong because you can pull through anything you set your mind to. I love you so much! Jackie O is lucky to have a friend like you! I wish i could be as strong and brave as you

Love this video. Everything you said is so true. I am only 20 years old and me and my ex of five years broke up in September too. I completely agree that you need to focus on yourself and put yourself first. Just need to surround yourself with positive things! This video and Laurens video really helped me and I really appreciate it :)

I needed this now.. more than ever! girl you're so beautiful inside and out! Thank you! Love you to pieces!💗💗

My relationship just ended for this reason, bc he couldn't give his all to me and didn't seem to want to. I realized I needed to focus on myself. Gretchen EVERYTHING you said you felt and the reasons why these things happened, I am feeling right now and relate to. I was close to his parents, I thought I loved him. But you're right all of these women watching deserve better. My best friend directed me to this video and it has helped me so much. Thank you :)

You are so right on about taking care of yourself...YOU are #1woman!!! You have so much to give to your family and friends and your contributions to the world!! Breakups sting and you were hurting because you actually cared about him. Well you just go on having a blast and have some excellent adventures while in new York this summer!! The guy that you are meant too be with will come into your life when you're not expecting it!! You do you & treat yourself to something nice today!!:)

You remind me so much of myself. I'm currently going through a tough breakup from my bf of 3+ years. It's hard. Some days I don't even know if I'm going to make it through the day. Some days I can't hold it together at all. Some days are ok. I know it's going to take a long time for me to be ok again. But I'm so ready to start loving myself again and putting myself first. Thank you for this video ❤️

My boyfriend is friends with his ex wife. At first it was really weird for me, but I am literally about to go hangout with her right now! There gets to be a point where you can be friends and you can understand that you just weren't compatible! Someone can be a great person, but not have the same wants or needs as you, and that is okay! Hope things are getting better for you! You are young, beautiful, and have so much life to live! I hope you enjoy being single and loving yourself. 💘

I'm 21 and have never have been in a relationship. I constantly feel like I'm behind and if I ever get into a relationship I won't know how to be a good girlfriend. But that day will come (hopefully lol), and it'll be natural. Does this make sense? Idk lol

I've been watching your videos for a couple years now, and it's kind of scary how parallel our lives sometimes seem. I got together with my boyfriend around the same time as you did with Justin and we also did long distance when we both went to college. We were together for about the same time as you guys too (a little longer than three years), and this past December is when we decided to break up. It was for VERY similar reasons to you in that we just weren't really meant for each other and we were veryy different from each other. For the longest time too given we were long distance, the relationship was not there anymore but we continued to try hoping that when we saw each other again everything would get better. Eventually, as you know, that just doesn't always happen and it's hard to go so long throughout the year not seeing the person you are dating. It took me a bit to completely get over my ex as well and I TOTALLY agree with you with the whole needing to be single and loving being single. I'm abroad for part of this summer, and, even though my friends and family have been urging me to meet new people and guys, I don't really feel a need to. Just thought it was funny how we had very similar opinions when it comes to all of this and how much we parallel each others' lives haha. I'm glad that you know that you're better off now and that you don't need a boy to make you happy! There's so much more out there to enjoy! I only wish the best for you!

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, and it was the best thing I've done. it wasn't that he was a bad guy, or not that he wasn't even that great of a boyfriend. at the end of the day I just didn't see us having a future together and I had to do what was best for ME and move on, and I feel like society today makes it seem like in order to be happy as a young girl you NEED a boyfriend, but in reality, boyfriends don't even make you happy unless it's an amazing relationship, which most of the time it's not. this video was so great and I really related so much!!