Why You Can't Explain The BPD Pain 

As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help

I've realised the acute feelings of abandonment and rejection perceived or otherwise, is actually fear. Not emptiness but not feeling at all safe. Then fight or flight kicks in, and it becomes a huge knot of overwhelming emotions. You really do know your stuff. 🌿🕊

You’ve made a huge difference in my life. Truly. My BPD has been a big mistake of darkness until I found your videos and book. It feels more clear and defined and I feel way more optimism about managing and growing with this disorder.

I loved the part where you talk about texting. The anxiety and negative thoughts that come to you when you feel like you’re being rejected but people could just be busy.. Sometimes we are so afraid of being abandoned, we end up abandoning the entire relationship ironically causing the one thing we were trying to avoid 😅

I worked through your workbook for BPD in 2022 during a very hard time of my life. I had lost my 20 year old daughter in 2020, got involved in an abusive relationship, and was suicidal. You literally helped save my life. I still struggle but now I have hope. Thank you.

My BPD has given me what I can only describe as “emotional homelessness”. It has felt like I have never belonged anywhere or with anyone. Even when people are doing their best to include me and love me, my emotional armor keeps me from “feeling” those emotions, even if I “know” those emotions- unless I am using MDMA to overcome that, and MDMA comes with its own problems.

Last week I was diagnosed BPD. I work in the mental health field and your channel has been very helpful in helping me accept my circumstances more gracefully. Thank you!!

I always have trouble managing and trying to explain what I'm feeling. But even harder is when I'm trying and nobody listens

I want you to know how much of a positive impact you have made on my life. I can see how passionate you are about BPD and helping those who suffer from it. That brings me great comfort. And I’m truly grateful for you. Thank you for all that you do.

As a person with BPD as well as an empath, i know when ppl don't like me. I can see how they respond to others' vs how they respond to me. The iPhone response "loved" or "liked" is a massive trigger. It just means that that person doesn't care enough to respond. My in laws notoriously show pics of their favorite child/grandchildren and when i send pics, no response for days. If we are in person, she is completely disinterested and distracted. I would rather be lonely because i feel even lonlier in most people's presence. I am an RN and know 2 way vs 1 way communication. Rarely do ppl listen but rather i feel like most people are narcissistic and only speak about themselves. I do not feel safe around people.

Excellent video thank you for bringing awareness to the often self-inflicted nature of these dynamics, and the ways to manage without always projecting on others.

your vids are really helping me! i’m only diagnosed with anxiety, depression & ptsd but you articulate how I feel very well. I mentioned bpd to my group therapist, but she said I def don’t because the main symptom is suicidal ideation and I don’t have that .. but I do .. I just don’t know how to say I think about it every day all day for years now .. I have a hard time expressing it outwards, so it took every ounce of strength not to be impulsive to get her to understand. I wanted to self harm, but luckily i’m in php already. Idc about the diagnosis, I just want the correct treatment so I can start getting better. I’m tired of trying all these combos of meds .. I’m going to stick with my current plan, but also order your books to learn more. eta: she also stated I have too much self control to have it, that if I had it I wouldn’t have a filter 🤨 I just can’t believe the stigmatization of bpd ..

Thank you for your videos. They are so informative and you describe how I feel about things. I relate to when people don't text me back right away and how hurtful that can feel. I appreciate you giving the helpful solution about mindfulness as well

Uve explained what ive been wanting to say and figure out in myself. Thank you. The moment i heart this i started tearing up cuz i can never able to put in words of how i feel and u just did it… so easily. Thank you

It would be amazing if we could catch the development of this in teenage kids before it ruins lives. Is there any kind of screening that happens in schools for disorders? I'm seeing more of a link to the critical moments in lifespan development. This would really throw things off if not treated.

No matter how much you try to convince yourself that it’s not you maybe they’re busy… the painful anxious feeling doesn’t go away. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY. The only ways out is to block them or turn your phone off or delete the messaging app. As soon as you do. Your whole body feels better all the pain goes away and you feel like you can finally breathe

My therapist talks about mindfulness just about every time I see him. He wants me to feel my big toe lol. It's hard to be in the moment tho and even harder when I have a lot going on in my head. I'm trying to practice mindfulness, but I feel like it's not working a lot of the time. I'm going to attend a DBT/CBT therapy group for 3 weeks (5 days a week for 6hrs a day) and hopefully, I'll get more insight into it. They do a guided mindfulness meditation in the morning, and they teach coping skills. Thanks for making this video, it was really good.

What are the the titles to the videos about family in the head? I want to watch them all, but can’t tell by the titles. Can you make a playlist for those titled family in the head? I’d also appreciate a playlist for videos about treatment/recovery. I would also love to see a video about how each type of therapy can help bpd, like cpt and transference therapy, ifs, emdr. ***also, I think my bf has bpd and I did a lot to try and help him see all the good in him and there was a lot of improvement (he also does DBT and talk therapy) but I feel like it may have backfired in the sense that if I ever bring up an issue, he then gets super confused because there was so much positive talk so it seems to be blinding him to the fact that anything could be wrong. Do you have a video about how to navigate that in relationship? How to balance building them up and also asking them to be accountable in safe way that doesn’t crash them? One last request…do you have a video on how to get diagnosed? Like is there a specific screening that should be done? I’m worried his therapist missed it because she only has his limited side of the story. We were getting serious but I don’t want to move forward in to something serious that could be more permanent unless he is screened for bpd…I’ve heard not to say those kinds of things to people, but then my only alternative is to break up when I know he would want to try and make it work. Is there a safer way I can say that or make a request like that? I think it’s fair considering he wants a life with me and it will greatly affect my life. I would want to ensure he was properly diagnosed and treated otherwise it wouldn’t be very safe.

I'm not designed to be alone.

I found a piece of smooth rock under the carpet in one of my classes in the kindergarten when i was 5 years old. i loved that rock so much that i kept it to this day (am 29 now) and for the past few years have been using it as an aid in my mindfulness practice.

When you brought out the AirPods case and then started flicking it open and closed I was literally already doing it, I do it all the time and focus on how it feels

I always appreciate your knowledge and advice, makes so much sense and really helps me have so much more of a greater understanding of myself .. x

Great video! Living in the fog is such a great way to describe the inner mental landscape. About people who don’t text back, what if it’s your cousin and you never get an answer? That’s happened to me so many times. Does that mean I should stay away from that person? So hard to identify emotions and express them, something that I was never taught how to do in a family where “little children should be seen and not heard” was considered a good thing. Thanks also for explaining mindfulness. I never really understood what it was.❤️❤️❤️

I really honestly experience alexathimia ( sorry I misspelled it) I have BPD and generalized anxiety dissorder. I know what I want to say but when I’m in a BPD episode it’s like I am metaphorically locked in my own Virtual prison ( I never been to prison) a virtual self imposed prison as if my voice box doesn’t work. I know what I want to say but again metaphorically the words don’t come out. It’s like I am all alone within the. Contours of my mind making it impossible for me to understand my self let alone others. It feels so depressing because aside from abandament I feel silenced.

The word alexithymia, as you say, roughly translates to "no WORDS for feelings / emotions". It does NOT mean that you can't KNOW your feelings, or that you don't RECOGNIZE your feelings, which unfortunately is how the word often is used. You can identify a flower for its species without knowing or rememberings its name, right? I don't actually think that you can have words for feelings / emotions. A word is a label for a concept, an idea, a thought. You can agree with another that an object should be called a chair by pointing at it and say it should henceforth be called a "chair". The chair that you've pointed at will be the model and prototype for future reference, and whenever the word is used later, it is in reference to that chair. As more objects are called "chair" that aren't identical to the prototype, a more flexible definition is created, while also others are excluded, for example not including all the types of seats in the world. Now, here is the problem: you cannot point at feelings. Feelings are entirely subjective. Sure, people can point at external cues as to how others feel and give -that- a label, but you can never know the experience of the one having the feeling, so you can't be sure that the label you use for their cues is associated with a similar experience in yourself when you show those cues. In summary: we can't have words for that which we cannot have a common reference for. And we cannot describe our experiences by referencing other subjective experiences either - you only ever know your own subjective experience.

I have it. Ass/ ADHD . Dont know if i love him, mis him or hate him..its a problem.

I’m too weak to even bother. Is the fight even worth it?

Why do you call it family in the head? Is it because we got those negative thoughts from our family members?

Do you have any videos about how weed and psychedelics would affect someone with bpd? Theres a lot of people saying they’re “safe” to use, but I think its crucial for special populations like those with bpd to be informed specifically so they aware of how it could be different for them. Also, if there are any therapies that could actually be worse for bpd.

Where is the line of accountability? I see info on how difficult certain BPD traits are, but is BPD a free pass to hurt others and say well it’s not my fault…. Can they be accountable for anything? I understand giving extra grace to those struggling, but at what point is the family allowed to no longer be abused?

WHATEVER I want...? From this day forward, I shall call them... Breeze Peas...lol! Gotta catch em ALL! Breeze-E-Peas! LmMFaO! ;) :P :o)

Can someone help, I can't understand what he says every time he says "BPD and f-??? in the head". Is it family?

Why evil terrible ppl seem to flip the script on the decent individual? Crass is my therapy:

You are very sweet and huggable. Hope you get a lot of hugs from your loved ones :D :) I hope you have a nice weekend :)

But if you meditate, get off drugs and watch Teal Swan videos, especially Fragmentation the world wide disease, you can get rid of the symptoms and lead a functional life