Goals of Narcissists, Borderlines, Psychopaths 

I grew up in a narcissistic family system. I now think they were mostly psychopaths. Thank you for being you.❤

this really makes sense, I always notice that people with abusive, manipulative personalities will not care about the actual tasks or subject that they are doing when it comes to a hobby, or career, they just do it because they see there are people they can control, and a hierarchy they can climb... like a filmmaker that is not passionate about film and storytelling, they are just passionate about how easy and normalized it is to be a controlling abusive asshole in the entertainment industry. And you can really tell when they purposefully withhold information, lie about the reality of what they need or what has to be done next, or make seemingly stupid decisions that ruin something, and their leadership results in a shitty final product, and a job not being done properly... because their choices were made with the intention to control, insult, and hurt people, NOT to do the best job they can do, and make whatever they're working on amazing... they don't care about whatever they're working on, they just wanna step on people, even if it means embarrassing themselves and destroying their own career, business, or reputation, because in their mind, they actually did an amazing job, and it was perfect, and they are perfect, and if they developed a terrible reputation and their career went to shit, it is EVERYONE ELSE'S fault, they were just misunderstood, ahead of their time, too amazing for other's to handle, and got sabotaged and back stabbed.

Welcome to the craziest planet in the galaxy.

My X Fiancé told me she didn’t know who was running for president and had never voted. I have always believed she was a narcissist. She had no problem with triangulating me with her Xhusband and had multiple trauma stories. She wanted a sexless marriage and the boyfriend before me and after me backed it up. She was incredibly competitive in everything she did even calling her son’s girlfriend a little bitch for trying to beat her in a card game. Thank God I ended it after 1 1\2 years

A father figure i never had.

An alcoholic narcissist with sadistic tendencies makes for a dicey interaction. I appreciate your knowledge, thank you.

Distortion of time in the psychopath is an interesting concept and got me thinking about the ones that I know and it's absolutely spot on. If you've ever dated one they are unlikely to remember when you met and how long you've been dating. They are also terrible at trivia and unable to sort events chronologically.

Starting to love my hobbies again. It's a slow rise when a malignant is stalking you. I gave them up as a defense mechanism because I am better than them. And they couldn't handle it lol

Thanks for explaining. I already thought that my sister is just a narcissist and my brother most probably a psychopath (like many people say he’s a dangerous psychopath). My mother I was not sure if she’s a narcissist or a psychopath. But now after watching this video, I know she’s a narcissist.

I grew up in a narcissistic family and now I find myself a psychopathic trait. All is right in the video. P.S I am aware.

sounds exhausting to be that way.

Very well differencing explanation in terms of goals.

You have yourself a new subscriber, Professor. Thanks for the video! 😊

Definitely one of your best videos, such a complicated subject.

'... they exercise mindfulness..' 😂🫠

Okay so I am right both of my sisters are narcissists. That is how they move with quick speed from one person, from one place to another. From one job to another

Understanding your podcast. Spent adult life caring for those w/ mental illness. As a pastor, I see things thru a Biblical lens. At age of 10, a future psychopath (legal diagnosis at 18) made a threat over me. In late 20’s completed it. Has long criminal career, gets off easy. Has been diagnosed bipolar, schizophrenic, DID, etc. Have seen her get away with unspeakable crimes since early life. Thx.

As I left the dental surgery I saw him look down and smile as he sent me home with slanting teeth on a slanting implant bar that wasn't mine. He kept my implant bar, kept the money I paid for private dentures and made me NHS teeth and he denies any wrongdoing, He told me and advertised he was a clinician. He isn't. It has been 8 years and I now need a full bone graft, I haven't eaten properly for 8 years and have had a lot of pain. Fighting this with organisations who have let me down, he has lied about everything and they let him go. What he did to me and the way he did it I now have psychogenic tremor in everywhere apart from my head. He planned all this. I've put him in court with his dentist, the dentist has been failed, both are in this together.

Great information again Sam.

The best! This really helps!

Excellent discourse. Ty.

Your videos are really good, thanks.

This was very detailed and full of depth. Thank you

I keep learning so much from you Sam. Over 10 years of watching your videos and there’s always something g new to learn. Thank you!

Hey, everyone. My relationship with my Borderline partner just ended. New insights from this video, I find that I was most likely a Psychopath who got into a very controlling relationship and so went into Narcissist mode once I felt this person needed me and loved me. We both felt very lost. It feels like it was the best, yet scariest ride of my life. They were extremely goal oriented, and impatient. They wanted to earn a ton of money, wanted my feelings and commitment to come fast (that got into me being Avoidant to try slow things down, which hurt them big time), one day to another said they wanted independent living and a family, while still living at their mothers, spent months getting a job and 2 months after getting it, they say they wanna quit and do things on their own. I on the other hand, initiated the relationship looking for sex and dating multiple partners, that was my goal. As things progressed with this person, I felt they got me like no other. They were gifting their world to me and it was very alluring. It was kind of an unconscious trap where everything had to be their way or there would be a lot of drama. I also couldn't pass on this quality of supply. I resisted for a long time and ,sadly, unknowingly became very Narcissistic. The beautiful and funny moments kept us around, the seeming trust we had with each other., the fantasy sharing. A lot of darkness dwelled in us and drove each other more curious and closer. Once the relationship started crumbling due to conflicting interests and bad communication, my Psychopathic goals returned with a ton of anxiety and fear of loss. I started obsessing over them and felt I couldn't give up on them. Very Covert Borderline like. I feel as if I'm trying to defuse the Narcissist part of not pursuing goals, but that is killing me and leaving me goal less. Not fun at all. If you find you are dating or living with a Borderline, don't assume it's all them and you are completely a victim. There are reasons you get pulled and allured by people like us. Inform yourself and get help if you can on your particular mental issues. I will go to therapy when I can afford it.

Thank you Prof.

Helpful and informative...thank you

Thank u, Sam❤️

This all makes sense to me the way you explain the differences really good talk that cleared my mind for a time thank you baz🇬🇧

Great video

Thankx prof.youve helped me alot learning about the disorder 2yrs ago i didnt kno nothing about it.

youre so brilliant!!!

Good morning my time Dr. Vaknin. Will watch comment later. Thank you ❤️

Thank you Sam.

I really appreciate this explanation. You helped me to learn something new about the secondary state of borderline, which I never heard of but makes complete sense. Could you talk about how to tell apart someone who is a psychopath with ADHD, which might make it harder for them to be planful about their goals and make them more impulsive, from a person with narcissism?

Nice Haircut Sam :)

tqvm doc

Thank you……

My ex 100% narc covert borderline

Bam. 🎯

Oh Mr. Vaknin you are just G=Genius.. What a deep analysis.. Well Im a Mach here, can I expect that you would make few videos on Machiavilianism?

Thank you! very clear and clarifying! Who is also using gazlightning and staking?

It appears to me that our brain is up to a lot of tricks with us and is quite delusional about our inner hidden motives which translate into our actions and behavior. In a majority of humans there seems to be glaring contradictions between what they claim to be and their actions - not only in cluster B personalties - Could it be that these contradictions regarding what people believe they are and their actions aren't restricted to cluster B personalities - but a general trait in all human-beings? We as humans often don't really know who we are and therefore have problems defining ourselves. What do you think about my theory, Prof Vaknin?

Sam, is it possible that a family member presents with these three comorbidities behind closed doors, but in public come across as just an attention seeker that seems so harmless (even if annoying to some, to others she's the cutest little old lady). Living behind the closed doors, i know the mayhem she created and am still trying to figure it all out despite the fact that she's dead. It's a lot of baggage over a lifetime. Thanks for all you educate us about, have watched multitudes of your videos.

Fascinating as usual Dr Vaknin. So I thought Trump was a malignant narcissist but now I’m wondering is he’s more psychopath. What is your thought on this ?

Narcissist psychopath I have a relative

Can a person be all 3???

אוהבים אותך 💚❤️

❤🎉wisdom

Just curious, but why are histrionics never included in your videos? They are also cluster b pd’s?

You say psychopaths and borderlines are goal oriented, but my friend simply pretends to be goal oriented. He pretends to be hyper-fixated on goals simply to distract people from criticizing his behavior and to get attention, but he is just sitting in his room playing video games or torturing someone on his cell phone. In reality, he has no goals. The goals he pretends to have are copied from the goals of the people around him, but they are a demented, mentally ill, unrealistic and fantasy-based versions of the original goals, which he simply uses as a prop to parade around seeking validation. But they aren't real goals, and he doesn't really work towards them, just pretends to. What do you make of such an individual? This is a narcissist? I can't trust any behavior of his to be authentic. I swear he pretended to be a borderline. If I ask him why he behaves the way he does, he will lie and gaslight. All I know for sure is that he is a pretender, and when I saw through the mask, I saw some sort of empty abyss with a creepy thing looking back at me. I don't know what the hell that was. Sam won't believe me (or maybe he will pretend to not believe me), but I saw his eyes turn into slits. I even heard the rattle of a snake. I felt a surge of anxiety. I jumped up and yelled "whoa!" and chills rushed over my body. I literally told my friend that I saw the abyss and he had to leave my place immediately. It captivated all my senses. The only reason I still want to contact this person is because of what I saw. It was absolutely incredible. Sam will say this is the schizoid core, which maybe it is, but why did I have such a strong physical reaction to it? It scared the shit out of me, but it amazed me at the same time. It was one of the most incredible things I have ever seen.

I am a viewer supply. Be my guest😄

Not everyone is a narcissist look up avoidant attachment style has narc traits in most