Best advise...with one caveat. Learn not to be disappointed when life does not meet your expectations. Readjust and start again. It may take many tries to get it right. So...great advice, over simplified. Thanks.
Yeaah. About that. Everybody WANTS to live happily ever after exactly from the first try. If first try didn't work, guess want? You'll never get what you really wanted in the first place. Nobody wants to be irreversible traumatized from countless unsuccessful tries.
“When you don’t act on what you want, you take yourself out of the game. Buying lottery doesn’t guarantee winning but not buying guarantees losing it”.. sums it all.
Yes yes yes. I’ve gone through clinically depressed periods of my life and I agree 1000% with not daring to think of what life could be like. For me, it was not so much that I was scared of doing that, but rather I’d forgotten the ability to imagine positive things. I’d forgotten my ability to feel purely positive emotions that weren’t tinged with some kind of pain. When I realized that and started practicing with tiny steps at imagining beautiful, peaceful, joyous moments, life quickly began to improve.
i am so thrilled to see so many speakers on psychology changing their practice to put more focus on the client changing their thinking. so many let you drone on and on about your problems but they have no way to help you stop. i stopped going to therapy and discovered on my own i needed to change the way i think. i thought, well i cn write down my negative thoughts for a day and see what i need to work on. that lasted two hours before i was sobbing my head off because all my thoughts were negative. no wonder i was so sad. but slowly i stopped myself, and now it seems so far away to think like that. i would never go back, though i still find myself doing, i see it quickly and stop myself... habits take dedication to break, but once you get started it feels easy, like riding a bike. it's all a game of mental mastery...mindset. also chemically you change when you stop being negative and your health improves because stress causes illness.
hopefully you're not still feeling this way but sometimes we all need a reminder to refocus.... so... maybe check out "Thank and Grow Rich" by Pam Grout... also, each night before bed, if you start writing out a few things that happened during the day that made you happy, no matter how small or basic, these can be enough to make you realise there's always good around us. HTH :-)
Here here Talia. Thats what its all about and its been proven by neuroplasticity. Its not easy to change but with practice one can. And there are no limits to improvement.
This is truly a fascinating Ted Talk. I have watched it several times now and more importantly implemented Jennice's three questions in my professional and personal life with amazing results.
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go trough hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
People give up because they spent decades trying & doing all of this stuff on how to have a wonderful life full of the things you desire only to have thousands of thousands of unexpected failures. Anticipation & expectations aren't enough. She is leaving many steps & variables out of her talk.
If you never learn from all your mistakes/failures you continue to make more of the same ones. Many people don't learn so their whole life is just them bumbling along. There's so much info out there to help us lead a better/happier life. To fix our incorrect perceptions/beliefs/mindsets/attitudes/values and so on.. To help us upskill.. We all just have to go out there and delve more into personal development. Perhaps into meditation and so on..
variables have been removed as is the nature of this "type" of psychology. It's the same as; get what you want in 3 easy steps and the smoker who still cannot quit. This works for some but not for the majority, oh dear my expectations are kicking in. While I do honestly believe that a percentage of people would actually benefit from this type of psychology it's based on what YOU WANT and sadly there are many people living on earth who live to support other people and do not even think about themselves, i think it's called selflessness. There is an extraordinary joy in helping others that is light years away from getting what YOU want and this cannot be broken down into a 20 min talk. Getting what you want is never what you need but you will find that if you can attain a selfless life you will get more from life than you could possibly need or even a life you could imagine, you become a harvester of hope. I do believe that Jennice is doing good work but the reality is not the same for the majority, it's the world we live in today and nothing to do with expectations.
To be honest I think your comment may not be fair to her, given how much one may WANT to help others. To solely connection 'getting what you want' with 'selfishness', I think, is all to narrow. Bodhisattvas in the Mahayana Buddhism tradition vows to help or save all sentient beings, and at many times their vows are motivated by their wishes. You cannot because they are selfless so they don't want to help others. I believe this talk is just a very simplified and perhaps altered version of the Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, in which clients are asked to challenge and change their BELIEFS in regards to the ADVERSITIES so they would change their actions and thus the CONSEQUENCES would change. In this talk, the tense in CBT is shifted to future rather than present or past, and thus the framework of the method is UPCOMING FUTURE EVENTS-BELIEFS-ACTIONS-CONSEQUENCES. And again, clients are asked to challenge their beliefs so they will act differently and have different consequences. The terms of 'what you want' and 'what you expect', I think, is just for locutionary or rhetoric purposes.
This is powerful. I did this and changed my expectations about something I was selling. A very specialized musical item that I’ve been trying to sell for months and was so worried I’d never sell it. It cost thousands of dollars and last night I changed my expectation that I was going to sell it, and this morning it sold!!! This is so true! Thank you. This will change people’s lives especially those who feel stuck. I’m going to apply this technique to other areas of my life and see what happens :)
I've heard so many inspiring talks but this lady spoke so eloquently and everything she said was totally logical and totally got registered in my twisted and negative brain ! Truly magical presentation.
Brilliant! Thoroughly enjoyed it. Its very true for my life. I usually went by the motto "hope for the best but expect the worst", I am NEVER EVER again going to think that. I will live by "hope for the best and expect even better" from now on.
For many, the biggest obstacle is identifying what they want in the first place! However, this talk is inspirational for those know their goal but can't seem to achieve it.
Just be happy in the moment and all the rest falls into place: The conscious mind is a tricky one and will never let you be happy, will always keep chasing the next "...Oh, this is what I want..." Just imaging a happy feeling is glowing within you, and life will get easier.
It's true though. I dont think most people have their 2nd chakra really open either, because they're chasing after dreams instead of realizing you can be happy right here right now if your basic life is ok.
That's really beautiful. I asked a question above and happened to scroll right down to your comment. I'm optimistic that this will bring me an answer to my question. Thank you for sharing.
The title says it all. You don't get what you want because you don't expect to get it. I'm so smart. Now let me watch the talk to see if I'm right... Yup, I'm a total genius.
Less than a minute in and I'm already blown away and am rethinking my life. Wow. Even the title of this video is amazing. Initially I thought the "It's not what you expect" was pure clickbait, but it's actually the answer to the question of why you don't get what you want. Wow!
It is amazing to me that this helps anyone. Maybe you're young and still have the chance to be impressed upon. I hope you roll with it and it helps you.
i want to share an amazing thing that happened while i was just watching this video. When Jennice said Step 1 : Imagine what u want and see how u feel. I imagined standing in a place of my dreams holding my future husband's hand. I felt really good. Within a minute, this guy who i like and imagined messaged me after a gap of few days. I previously had this anxiety that maybe he ghosted me. But the moment i imagined and felt good, there he was ! 😍
Mam I visualise I feel its real in my mind now letgo or hold vision I tried this since 11months can you suggest me ? Thankyou for sharing your experience Blessings ❤️❤️
@@nehajain5574 I totally agree Neha that its easier said than done. Our brain plays tricks with us and sends us negative predictions all the time. You have to train yourself overtime to stop thinking about what u really really want and just focus on the present. Distract yourself. There must be something that definitely gives you pleasure apart from thinking about this person. Do that ! Dont obsess over it.
@@nehajain5574 Yes.. conciously do not keep thinking about it. Trust the universe to bring this dream into your life when the time is right. You have to make yourself capable enough to handle it when it is manifested. You wouldnt be anxious anymore right ? So practise being calm from this moment itself. Believe that u r enough, with or without the things or person u want.
This is one of the most useful, valuable TED talks I have ever watched. As a life coach I use it’s lessons and recommend it all the time. It provides a simple yet scientific way of explaining what could otherwise be seen as woo woo ideas 😀
very concise and clean delivery, she managed to stick to ONE principle from beginning to the end, she never started listing multiple principles such as telling us about "Number 1 = do this, Number 2 = xx, Number 5 = do that"
When failure came in life, it usually took the past experience define future outcome, i am not quiet sure if I can attain what I want one day, but the only thing i know about is to start to plan , to act, right now. Thanks Jennice for this inspiring speech.
Thank you for this!! I love that it's an empowering message with practical tools by taking responsibility for oneself based on training our thoughts and taking action. Much gratitude for this resource!
In the three steps she gives, it's the step 3 that is challenging. That is, seeing a plan to achieve the want. This plan is not a normal feeling process, but a mental thinking process, and plans can be very sophisticated and thus difficult to attain, or in another word, "unprofitable personally", in terms of returns on time, to attain. Eventually, what she is essentially saying is traditional goal setting works. She's also suggesting that with a realistic goal set and a plan set into place, one will feel better. OK, all agreed. But then she suggests this is all one needs to do. Unfortunately, like many healers of all kinds, they come upon one methodology and think it solves 80% of all problems, when it solves only 10%. The example she gives in 4:20 explains this well. She says "buying that lottery ticket doesn't guarantee winning, but not buying guarantees losing." Reality is "buying that lottery ticket doesn't guarantee losing, but not buying decreases losing ."
buying a lottery ticket guarantee's your brain that you need to have money in order to be happy and thus make you live in a materialistic world, and thus makes you lose in life significantly.
K DM Not necessarily. I want to win the lotto because I hate the idea of spending all my time working, but I need to maintain my lifestyle. I'm not into buying a bunch of crap that I don't need and being rich wouldn't change that. I just want freedom and having a lot of money will grant me that.
K DM buying a lottery ticket is a poor choice to use as an example in this talk. doesnt speak to empowered decision making, or making wise choices, at all.
H Flo other ways to quit working that offer a more secure ROI, altho i agree with your non-materialistic pov true quality of life exists mostly independant of cash alone. it buys some, not all, not by a long shot.
This resonates with me: When I'm problem solving successfully, I often set out with a strong feeling that I can do this, and that there is a way, so I continue to patiently and enthusiastically look for it, and most of the time, a solution presents itself. The strong mindset, comes from a lot of discipline and over coming challenges. Good luck to you all.
Great presentation! Expectations guide all our thoughts, feelings, & actions, which ultimately lead to results/outcome. Expect the best, Do the most, & Have your wish... Be, Do, Have; in that order!
This is very very good! I just met a woman who has low self-worth issue. She married a man who constantly berated her, disrespected her on regular basis. When I asked her why she married that mean guy she said "because I was so lonely and hated myself at the time. Having someone is better than no one". And she said the same thing as Dr.Vilhauer said in the talk ; she "didn't believe it was possible for her to have a better future, a better life". I didn't know what to say to her really. I just listened to her, that's the only think I could do. Now I have some tools from this talk to help others like her. Thank you so much.
Thankyou so very much ! I'm currently dealing with a situation, changed my city, left my comfort zone, working out of the league and questioning every single decision! But this video has changed everything for me. It changed the whole perspective of thinking for me. Now I can only think what I want irrespective of any expectations ( negative ). Thankyou so much
If you are like me and you're here for the second or third time, here's the thing about procrastination... It's caused by ANXIETY. What you want to achieve and what you are expecting might happen is different. Take Jennice's advice and go start over
I’ve gone to church for 7years expecting to make connections. Instead people I saw weekly didn’t recognize me until 6 years in after I brought my service dog. When I give friendship to someone I expect it in return. Instead they leave. I didn’t expect to buy the home of my dreams this summer and we did. I was thrilled! I literally went into it thinking we can’t do this. So I think this is a bunch of malarkey.
There are 2 reasons why a person fails: 1) bad luck ; 2) some significant mistakes they've made while trying to reach their goal. In case of the 1st scenario, the video gives great advice - roll the dice again, don't jinx yourself with negative thoughts, and eventually you'll get your lucky break; give up on the game, and you're guaranteed you won't. But this speech does not address scenario #2 - if you don't carefully examine if you had made significant mistakes, you'll just repeat them again, and no matter how many times you try, if you approach it mindlessly, even with the best positive thoughts and expectations, you'll fail over and over. I've met people like this. You need positive expectations AND strategic analysis. Often, the mistake simply is, trying to achieve too many goals all at once, thus reducing your chance to achieve each particular one - that is my personal problem; prioritizing!
Additionally, there is always a question, what kind of risks are reasonable to take, for example financial risks? For a young person, no spouse, no kids - any risk is pretty much acceptable, they can always start over. But what about a husband with a wife and children to support? If he loses too much of the family capital, everyone will be adversely affected, not just his own personal life.
To me this video seems very helpful in combatting the negative thoughts that prevent someone from REALLY trying, making plans (and revising that plan and trying something different if need be.) "what can I do to make this happen" Vs "I can't make this happen" I didn't get the impression that this strategy was meant to "work like magic" I understood it as having positive expectations (as a strategy to help you take more action) without being attached to the outcome. If you take actions toward (an expectation of) succeeding you're more likely to succeed than taking actions toward (an expectation of) failing. Take passing a difficult class for example. If you ACT on an expectation of succeeding (Study hard, put effort into assignments.) You will do better than if you ACT on an expectation of failing (procrastinate, give up, turn in substandard work.)
Or if you don't take the exam at all because "you'll never get a good score" then your negative belief has made you act to ensure that you'll never get a good score. Beliefs are not facts - we progress by testing them.
Your past doesn't define who You are and where you go but your expectations for the future is what limits you the most. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM WHAT A SHOCKER
I disagree. If i didn't went in the army, if i didn't do a depression and a suicide attemps, and if i didn't have the friends i had, and the relationship i had, not only my experience and outlook on life would be different, but my 'expectations' would be as well. That didn't stop me from buying an appartment block and doing what was needed to improve my life. That didn't mean it worked, but whatever is your expectation, will not change what life will be. There is thousands of reason to fail and probably as much to succes. Nothing is set and everything can change in an instant.
Some days it feels so easy and others so impossible. There are moments of greatness and others of tragedy. It's all too much. You just want to stop feeling because the negative always seems to outweigh the positive. It seems impossible just hoping you will find some hope like that in this video. I'll favorite this and hope it can be a tool for me, that I gravitate towards it during those moments of isolation, insecurity and low self-esteem.
" You can Choose". Yes I choose my life my dream my passion my desired life. I am a change for me. Yeah I am changing my life with others life. What a sweet and short talk but the impact is deep down to my heart to my guts. Thank you so much
These are good recommendations for what we can do personally to maximize the potential for success in what we want. It would be helpful to discuss the factors that are not in our singular control that can prevent us from getting what we may want that are just as real and common as our expectations. Barriers such as people in authority who won't allow human and legal rights to be obtained for certain groups of people, environmental barriers such as war and regional natural disasters that alter opportunities for advancement, life ending or altering medical illnesses such as cancer or debilitating neurological diseases... There are people who use their expectations and goals to work through or overcome these barriers to get a life of what they want for themselves and others (women's right to vote, freedom of religion, freedom for slaves, adaptive living through therapeutic devices), but some did not live to see those life desires move forward or had to adapt their goals to achieve happiness and peace within the broken system or difficult situation. It's important to recognize real barriers and their affects on what we want when raising our expectations to get the life we want. It's not this simple, even though these recommendations can bring us things we want that we may be pushing away or have potential to achieve right in front of us. Perhaps learning the structure or limits of these barriers and systems can help find options within them to find a life that is more adjusted to your desires and goals for a life you want as you raise your expectations of what is possible.
Totally agree. These 'self help' talk are very simplistic and do not take into account thousands of obstacle to one success or happiness. Yet it is a start like they say...
That was very well put. I'm fighting some of those same negative thoughts and depression now and hearing her put it in real terms versus all the positive affirmations suppressing bad thoughts most people tend to spit out does help. Peaceful, calm, and steady voice as well. Thanks :)
Phuricha Aramwit Buddhism was what i found in my deepest depression and in the throws of suicidal fantasies. learning buddisht teaching, and realizations released me from all the negative i thought i was a victim too. buddhism is not about apathy, or coldness. many Abrahamic faiths condemn and ridicule buddhism and i am sorry to see that their campaigns turn otherwise willing students away while not providing them the comfort and truth they desire. please if you doubt yourself, feel insecure, feel unappreciated or overlooked....please look into buddhist teachings. no one is asking you to convert, the truth is the truth no matter the teacher. buddhism saved my life and radically changed my perception of reality. i am so very grateful for the lessons and now i now have AN UNSHAKABLE INNER PEACE. you deserve it as well. psychology, neurology, and spirituality all hold so many answers and information when applied together create the full picture and life suddenly is easy, beautiful and fulfilling. love and acceptence for you and all :)
I wish it was that simple. Ever hear of that saying that repeating the same thing over & over again, but expecting a different result is the definition of insanity? Well, there needs to be an honest re-evaluation (reality check) in there somewhere.
@@lalineaa Yes. And the fallacy here, is the very first statement. What you expect and what you want are not mutually exclusive. People work wanting/expecting a pay check/results. If you don't get that, you don't get either what you want or what you expect, and you feel robbed (rightly so). If it's true that "You act on what you expect, not what you want.", then you will always get either one or the other, never both. Definitely a recipe for disaster, no matter what you do/expect. This whole presentation is invalid, based on a false "fact". Dejà Touché Vous Vu If good things come to those who wait... How long should it be, before it's too late? Of course you can only reap what you sow. But will you just keep waiting, for something to grow? How in the world can the truth set you free, When no one can decide, on what truth to agree? It's popular to say, two wrongs won't make a right. But how can you be robbed, and not make a fight? There is another day, and there is another song. And it is possible, for two rights to make a wrong. Well, I can't imagine there being a bigger bust, When there's no reason to to betray a trust. So when the guilty go free, and the innocent must die, Don't forget to remember, those who respect the coldest lie.
It's also the definition of practice and perseverance... but what she say is a different thing because you are not supposed to do the same thing again and again expecting the same result... you are supposed to act differently. You should rewatch the video with more attention
@@Rosaap_ Right off the bat, she says "...it might SEEM like a reasonable conclusion.". Well, it IS a reasonable conclusion. Then she says, " We act on what we expect, NOT on what we want.". That's not true. Maybe some do. But, most won't attempt something unless they both want AND expect it. What's the point of trying to achieve something that's EITHER unwanted or impossible? Sometimes you don't know at the beginning, but learning the hard way is NOT the best way. Her starting assumption invalidates everything that comes afterwards. If you start with a wrong assumption (or ask the wrong question), You are guaranteed to get the wrong conclusion/answer, period (but that does not negate the possibility of "getting lucky", as in "winning the lottery"; it just makes the odds extremely small and not worth trying). One's blood, sweat, & tears shouldn't be squandered on stupidity. Stupidity should be easier than that.
I like at 11:15 where she talks about the depressed patient she was working with and how she asked him about where is the light at the end of this tunnel and she only got a blank stare. Many other of her patients also responded with the blank stare because they really didn't think there was light at the end of the tunnel. She started to change the focus of her work, working with clients to shift their expectations so that they could find the light at the end of their tunnel. "When you're motivated by what you want, change is possible". Expectations are a huge part of the change actually occurring --- got to expect to get what you want.
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In my case too I mostly don't get what I want but it's not for so simple and endearing reasons. The mechanisms at work seem more diabolical... almost enchanting, if you wish to have it that way!
She may be on to something, but the first example is not that great. If you play the lottery with the expectation that you will win, the only difference is that you are very disappointed when checking the results. The real difference is the action, not the expectation : you want to win, and you play vs you want to win but you don't play.
This proves what I think. The chance. I guess it also involves her having to be richer now so she can buy more lotteries because it is the only actionable solution to increase her chance of winning , and she has to look at the outcome purely based on statistics. (so this time I bought 10 different numbers, so my chance is, .... and the next time I bought 1000000 different numbers, so my chance is .......). Or she just buy one each time and keep buying forever.. . I don't really think doing it repeatedly are bound to success, and the cost may not be worthwhile. I guess there is some 'economic system' in our head which decides that we should not continue and we should revise our efforts to other things which lead to more fulfilling outcome. :D If I decide to buy the lottery forever, I must have accepted that it's fine if I don't win at all, it's just some habit and a faith in doing it, like the things you do and believe you should do.
For 2 years after I became sober I believed I could improve my life. Nothing in my life has changed. How do I maintain expectations of a better life & deal with the soul-crushing disappointments? I would much rather expect nothing & not feel disappointment than expect things & then realise it is not possible. Continuing to believe something is possible despite all of the evidence to the contrary feels like I am lying to myself. How do I get beyond that? I have found many benefits to being truthful, factual, & objective. Having faith something is possible when all of the evidence points to it not being possible is very far from truthful, factual, & objective.
There is nothing about the future that has happened yet. If you take the past and act like that is what will happen in the future then you simply recreate the past and say..."see I knew that is what would happen". That is the whole message of the self-fulfilling prophecy. If you want to change your life you have to stop focusing on what you think is "truthful, factual, & objective"...which by the way is a flawed premise unto itself because everything we perceive is subjective because it passes through our own cognitive filter...hence we are active contributors to our own experience. Even the idea that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west is not a fact. It does neither as it is the earth that is moving. Everything is perspective. Change your perspective and you change your reality.
@@jennsv1 I had changed my perspective. And my life did not change. now what? For 2 years I firmly believed & expected things would improve. After those 2 years I began to lose hope. There is more to changing things than simply believing I can. There are actionable things of which I am not aware.
First imagine an upcoming future event. Step 1: How is what I'm expecting making me feel? (if there's positive feeling about it then stop here.) Step 2: What would i like to have happen instead? Step 3: What do i need to do to make what i want happen?
Talk is easy actions are hard, every day I study, everrrry day my mind tells me im an idiot failure and worthless. iv already gotten half way through... passing everything so far and yet my mind haunts me. Well I know why its hard to get what we want because for everything I ever got I fought Extreme fear, or negativity, yes I have gotten what I wanted but each thing has been painfully attained. My mind wont rest its sabotage efforts. I fight hard, im just tired of fighting... im fighting now for my study. Good news though when I do overcome the battle I always am sooooo happy for it. I hope this time is the same
That's harsh. Quit making it hard for yourself. It's hard already and not everything has to be hard. Instead of fighting listen, understand and rationalise why your mind is saying that then create solutions so you're not burdened and exhausted before you start. Get help, talk to a friend, someone.
M Pinchers Thanks, I will try, I will do whatever it takes. I could listen more, just had an anxiety attack because I studied and exercised and now my body is telling me to STOP doing the right thing, so I walked and took deep breaths. I believe this stems for using food and cigarettes as comfort and now im doing the healthy thing my mind and body is going into meltdown. All good, I know its this as it all started since I quit white sugar and cigarettes.... its is overwhelming but I dont give up.
Just stop whatever you are doing and take a long break. Rejuvenate yourself, mentally, physically and emotionally. I was at the same place you described. I know exactly how you feel. I just dropped everything and took a 2 months break to repair myself in every possible way and to relax. In your break time, stop doing whatever you "should" be doing and start whatever you "want" to do.
if it happens all the time then propably you aren't really expecting it.when you expect something to happen your odds of achieving it are way better.its all about your phychology.
If one's self-talk is negative, the best plans are more likely to fail. If one's self-talk is supportive/positive, plans more likely succeed. When one has some positive supportive self-talk, one can overcome adversity better. If one has used life's adversities to learn creative problem-solving, one might do better coping with adversities. If one learns How to think, instead of What to think, one does better. When children are taught how to make big goals, then how to make smaller ones that lead up to achieving the big goals, they are much more likely to reach their big goals.
The bottom line is: believe in the thing you want, so when it arrives you will be ready to catch it, otherwise it will slip over...story of my life basically but its ok
4:30 "When you don't act on what you want, you take yourself out of the game". Could that be because we're tired of playing a game that we can't win? Why does it have to be a "game" in the first place? And what is the name of the game?
Marshall Curtis : Exactly! When did I sign up to play this “game”? We are thrust into and forced to play this game, and when we look around and see others cheat at the game, get head starts in the game, and change the rules of the game just when you start to figure it out, it’s hard to want to keep playing.
lol, have you ever seen this video about the dog that jump to the height of the table to see what is going on of if there is food for him being 'place there' for him?, your saying is exactly that. We are the dogs who keep jumping and jumping and get tired of jumping but keep at it until we die. That's the name of the game and the game itself. Keep jumping my friend. The ones eating at the table is none of us...
Better to walk with goals than with expectations and work and adjust along the process. Have no expectations at all. The best things happen always at the very unexpected moments.
The problem is that "Step 3 - What do I need to do to make it happen?" is NOT such a simple matter, since most people know exactly that they don't know what to do, and don't even know how to get information on how to do whatever. Yes, of course, buying a lottery ticket is a simple thing, that does not really require effort, thought, or much money. But your expectancy of not winning is actually very correct, and the only reason people do not "fail" while buying lottery tickets is precisely what I just mentioned, of the action being simple and not having bad consequences. Now, in more realistic situations, what you want does often require a lot of effort, many times a lot of knowledge and/or a lot of money. And quite often it does require other people. So the chances of you losing a lot of money, a lot of time, being fooled, scammed, backstabbed, etc. are pretty considerable. And many times dire outcomes such as being sued, being arrested, or being physically hurt or killed, are REAL possibilities. So yeah, this is cute and all to silly things such as taking up a new hobby or focusing on improving your health by eating less junkfood and losing weight, but the real world is still a threatening place.
