My 36 year marriage to a hijackal is ending. I was vulnerable to him and told him my deepest feelings of relief when his malignant narcissistic parents passed away. Response? Going straight to our adult daughter to say I had homicidal feelings toward her grandparents, and I am dangerous. I need to be hospitalized in a psych ward. Triangulate much?
Totally agree. I feel like I am on alert, when he is around. I am learning to reclaim my power, and observe what is reality. I am observing the subtle, put downs, subtle dismissal, unbelievable.
I think this information only further reinstates the fear (women) feel. What if someone cannot afford expensive coaching? They're not stuck. The power is within, no matter what is outpicturing. I wish people taught from love rather than fear. The latter is still primarily in the scarcity principle.
The abundance lies in seeing that life can be different, and moving in that healthier direction. That's why I do my podcasts and videos. They are all free and help folks move in more positive directions.
Exactly, we have to gaslighting ourselves that they are great person, otherwise life is too hard. We don't know what real love look alike. I talked with my counsellor this afternoon, those bad memories were stirred up well. I am exausted now.
You're right! The good news about gaslighting yourself if that you can see it and you can stop, right? Yes, it can be exhausting going through the bad memories. Hopefully, you only have to do that once with your counselor, and then you can be in the healing and recovering parts of the journey.
I'm listening to this on March 11th 2024. I have been been operating on about 20% energy because of the hijackel in my life. Until I heard this broadcast I didn't understand why I am so drained of energy to accomplish anything. Now I know it's because the hijackel bombards me constantly with negative energy. Thank you Dr. Schaler.
... people are comically incapable of 'unconditional' 'love'. Without the supernatural, unconditional agape (love) from Logos, accessible to all in unlimited quantities at all times for those who earnestly seek it, this thing called 'love' in our supposed modern times is merely a kind of self-centered desire... a desire (eros) that fades like the wind.
Yes you want to believe that the loving person you met in the beginning is the true one indstead of the one who is now gaslighting you, lying almost all the time and giving you the silent treatment. I am with someone I want to leave but he is not leaving me however hard I tell him to. He is not the man I met. But after some days in hell where I tell him to leave I just give up. His excuse is that I need to come out of my darknes. I freeze, give up and become silent and pleasing like the other times I told him to leave me and we ended up in hell - him being violently and destroying my things. I am so afraid of him. After some days when I give up I am blaming myself for being emotionally unstable, having borderline and being bipolar as he claims!! But deep inside I know that is not true.
"But he's a good father." "An amazing father, actually." ("In what way is he amazing?" That's not amazing, that's what fathers do...") Wow. What really good mothers AND fathers do IS incredibly amazing. To minimize what this father does for his son is sad, and just plain wrong. Men and fathers have been minimized for decades.
Perhaps, but let's not get into that conversation or we would have to address the inequities women continue to endure. AND, it was not minimizing anything. The father in that case terrorized his child and his wife emotionally, choked his wife, financially disabled the family, and a host of other nasty things. In the context of the story I told, she needed to see that just coaching T-ball did not make him an amazing father.
Thank you for the knowledge you gleaned so you can help others. Emotional abuse/neglect can be so detrimental to our well-being. As a recovering self love deficient person, I lived on a treadmill, of doing the same thing, expecting different results-insanity. However, when I understood better, I quickly jumped off! Now, I know better, I can do better. Thank God! These people are just SNEAKS! SUBTLE! Especially when you are raised by an hijackal.
