This is so true. I felt so ugly for most of my teenage years and that feeling of insecurity only made other people perceive me as less attractive. When I started feeling beautiful and not need the approval of other people, that is when people perceived me as attractive. Our mind really works wonders.
As a teenager who struggled with acne scars living in conservative country, took a toll in my life as I don’t have social support from friends and relative. Whenever I go to public places some stranger would side eye me just because I dress differently that usually “conventional attractive” people would wear.
Currently I’m saving up my money to move to Australia which I can express myself and explore creativity. Honestly I just want to exist and treated like a human being. Hope I don’t rant too much. It is a great feeling to realise frustration that have been bottled up for 3 years 😌
@@idcman6692 i wish you all the best in your move to Australia :) i think you're already doing good in dressing the way you want and expressing yourself the way you want
Basically i know I’m ugly and I’m okay with it now. I have a big thigh and fatter body type. Oh and my facial structure is not that good either. BUT one thing for sure is NOBODY can keep up with this crazy trend in beauty standard. I’m telling you beauty standards are like fast fashion nowadays. Yesterday we all are crazy with thigh gap. Now with the rise of anime culture, thick thigh is embraced. But then the gym people are trending too. I can’t even keep up it’s tiring. Nowadays i just don’t give a fuxk 😂 i have fun with myself. Ugly? Welp. Pretty? Welp too. We are human, not cloth. And the only standard we need to keep up is being happy. Okay?! Yall hear me? No more crying for being ugly. Do whatever you want with your body. People will hate it or love it, it’s their business. But you queens and kings. You will keep thriving. ❤
beautifully said. i've been struggling with body dismorphia and it's been pretty rough for me to accept myself the way i am. i can't change a lot about my appearance so just weeping about it all day doesn't help. i just wish to be more confident. your comment really inspired me and has made me think about it even more. I really hope to find my selflove.
I'm curious, has anyone ever cancelled plans bc of the way the felt about themselves? I'll go first; I cancelled so many plans, so many girls-night, so many nights just with friends bc I absolutely felt bad about myself. I did not feel as if I was enough, or pretty or anything. This hits home... So yeah, I let my looks 'dictate' how my nights would go. I chickened out bc I thought; "Oh, I am ugly nevertheless"
Thank you for this video. I got bullied in middleschool. People straight up called me ugly when walking pass me and I didn't got invited by 'friends' to their birthdays, as their 'cooler friends' didn't like me. Back then I had an ego big enough to not suffer emotionally (and I actually accepted that I was bullied years later), as I only focused on my grades. I was at the top of the class and knew those bullies would barely finish school. In high school I changed school to another one in a different city because of study reasons. But that was the best decision I ever made in my life. People in my new class were much more focused on being academically good, without being too nerdy. So we kinda were a big team wanting good grades, but without being obsessed with it. And during that time I had a sweet glow up, so I really felt like fitting in and slowly figured what my style was/ looked good on my type of face, hair and body. But I had a huge struggle with believing people when they complimented me. I straight up thought they're lying or just being kind. Now I'm a medical student and got to know that I actually can pull and people can be in love with me. Although I still have marks from the past, as I can be really confident with myself in the situation, but when I look back at myself or feel unhappy with what I see in the mirror or on pictures, I regret feeling the confidence and that I'll never be that attractive person that I want to be. (Btw english is my 3. language, so please be kind if I made mistakes)
I'm comforted by this video. I was told all my life that I'm ugly, so I just got used to thinking that way about myself. It would be nice to think differently.
Ik right. At times like this, I tell myself that if I were told that I’m beautiful my entire life by everyone, would my perspective of myself change. The answer is yes, it would. I think I’m ugly cause I was told by people
you released this video at the right time. i’ve been struggling with the beauty standards for a while and i think your method might help. thank you for this video ❤️🔥
If you focus too much on comparing yourself to others, then you will never realize how beautiful your uniqueness is. Trust me, you don't need validation from other people. Usually people who praise directly are not sincere and tend to want something from you, and usually sincere compliments are only said in their hearts and also they will treat you better. After all, what's the point of being pretty but not smart? And what's the point of being pretty but having a bad attitude?
This is what I really needed to hear today and it almost made me cry. You don't know how much you're improving my life... Thank you Haley from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you so much for making this video. I have always been picked at for how I look. So I thought I was ugly. I later realized that wasn't the case. I never were the type of person to follow trends or care about how others viewed me. So I always tell myself I am the most beautiful person in the world. Thinking positive about yourself is the most healthy way to live. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I've been a subscriber since 2016 and the quality and content of the videos you put out there stand the test of time. You inspired me to live make up free even when nearing my late 20's. This beauty channel really tackles the deep underlying cause of why we never feel enough even after buying good products etc. We have to learn to love and accept our natural face and skin first. Thank you haley!
I agree with you that taking real selfish without filter have helped me a lot realize that my face is also good. When i took many photos with filter and then i see my face in mirror or normal camera, i will feel that why my face is not as beautiful as one in the photo with filter and i feel I am ugly and sometime sad in reality. Thank you for this content Haley.
I never really follow beauty youtuber, because Idk, it never resonates. I don't wear makeup even if I am interested in it, but their makeup I see so far, I don't see myself wearing it, until I found you. Your philosophy on beauty and makeup resonate with me so much. This kind of video is why I follow you, Haley. Thank you so much.
Thank you! But I think to believe ourselves is beautiful needs process. To explore what I like, to enhance what I already have are important I think. I believe beauty is confidence and it is built not born.
I love sooooo much this content! I'm in my early 30's and when I was younger went through all of this low-self-confidence. I was so ashamed to be seen in public without eye makeup! This is what young girls need to know! About Self love! ❤️
Something that kinda helps me is thinking that make up is an art form and not a way to alter your beauty. I can use make up to create abstract looks instead of redefining my features. I can try different lip colors and eye styles and experiment with making cool looks instead of trying to make myself look "prettier" and more "perfect". Because the beauty we are always looking for is simply impossible to achieve. Even if you see someone who you think is so so so pretty, they may even struggle themselves with thinking they're not pretty enough.
Poweful message, thank you Haley!!! I feel that for me one of the good things about getting older (I am 40) is that I genuinely dgaf anymore about standards and other people judgement. But I guess for kids growing up these days it is entirely another matter and I understand how difficult it must be for them to develop an healthy attitude towards their looks.
Thank you Hailey. I would love for your to talk about the way women feel the need to buy so many beauty products that we don’t need. I’ve recently started trying to downsize my skincare collection and struggling not to buy new products. Thanks.
Girl you're so pretty 😭 Im definitely ugly, I look worse on days where I'm more self aware of it (I'm always aware of being ugly, just more on certain days). I look slightly better when I feel a bit confident but nowhere near attractive or pretty. My face has a weird shape and my voice often sounded too monotone. I worked on that but yeah, my voice still isn't beautiful which doesn't help much either. I hate taking pictures because I'm always aware I'm ugly when someone snaps a pic. And that's always confirmed when I see the picture. Hopefully someday I can just accept I'm ugly and live with it.
I can't recommend getting used to taking natural selfies enough. I stopped taking selfies with filters when I entered college cause my biggest goal since then until now has always been learning to love and accept myself fully, and I knew I couldn't do that if I kept using filters, I would just be lying to myself. It's been 5 years since then and now I can't stand the way I look w these heavy filters that change my face shape, nose shape etc. I always look at my heavily filtered self and think girl! that's a whole different person!!
i just wanna say i appreciate this video very much. I've been dealing with a lot in regards with my face and body. I've been regular at skincare and going to gym but despite all of that i still get huge breakouts and still bloat a lot. i hope i can start thinking better about myself
Idk if anyone would see or read this, but I had an ex bf who I unfortunately had my longest relationship with, he always made comments ab things I should fix about myself physically and in my personality to the point he once listed it down on a paper for me, would tell me we dont look good together bc we look more like siblings (bc i looked younger than my actual age) and after meeting my sister for the first time, he took it upon himself to tell me that my sister is his type (colored eyes fair skin, which i didnt have) and he would tell me even stuff like "you know what? if u get a rhinoplasty and fix ur teeth you would be the prettiest".. it crushed my confidence and my soul to the extent i didnt wanna look at myself on the mirror or take any pics anymore i geniunely believed for such a long time "hes right", somehow I always thought hes just being honest and doesnt mean no harm and would let him get away with it everytime.. if you are in any similar situation RUN. I let him gaslight me for 6 years to the point it scarred me so bad i couldnt even trust anyone to date again for 2 years now im still healing but im in a better place and I hope nobody has to go through what i did
Let’s be honest. Not everybody is “beautiful” “pretty” or “handsome” We can all distinguish a very good looking person from an average, below average person. However, if you consider yourself average or below average, there is always things you can do to make yourself look better, such as being in shape, maintaining your skin, grooming, and dressing well. We can’t all be super models but we sure can look our best. And I do believe that self love is important. But I also know that people do notice the things you notice. I was able to remember the face and skin conditions of many people I’ve seen this year, and it definitely stands out when they have clear skin.
This is how I've thought for the past year. I changed my mindset from im ugly and there is not much I can do to actually making an effort. Started going to the gym, dressed nicer and followed a good skin routine and I will admit im still far from perfect but im much happier and confident in myself. I've also noticed that its made a difference on the people who approach me and how they treat me too. Just looking happier makes people approach you nicer and more frequently.
This might be helpful to some people...when I was in middle school and high school I always felt like an ugly duckling. Occasionally I would have bullies make fun of my looks. But two things happened and different times that made me realize something important about how I see myself 1) as a kid, I had a bully start making fun if me for my eye shape (my eyes slant down) and this was actually not something I felt insecure about and no one had made fun of me for it before. I was so confused why they would make fun of my beautiful eyes. Then I realized...since I thought my eyes were beautiful I didn't take their insult seriously. 2) when I was in my early 20s I was looking at photos of me when I was 12/13 years old and there was this really great photo of me in a cute shirt and my hair looked great. I was like "wow! I was so cute and good looking!" BUT immediately remembered that I never felt that way when I was 12/13. I was probably the most insecure at that age. I still do get self conscious but I realize how much of it is me being mean to myself and being negative. I might not be a model or beautiful to most people but I am beautiful. :)
Hello Haley, it's drammatic and very painful when your own mother says to you "you look better with makeup" or "you look better with straightened hair"... this ruined a big part of my life. Thank God I am still young!
Thank you for sharing this helpful information for us. I struggled with insecurity growing up since I am skinny due to my chronic medical condition. Now, I accept myself and I am happy to be my authentic self. Thank you Haley! I enjoy watching your videos.
This video is what every genz girl needs to watch..... In this era of social media we really need to go easy on the way we look.... Thank you❤ for making such a helpful video 🙏
notes spotlight effect- not everyone cares about ur appearance, they most likely dont even notice. the ones who care too much are probably projecting/insecure toxic relationships and mean comments- these bring down ur overall mood. try to hangout with people who truly care about and slowly cut the toxic people off acceptance- accept your own features. accept the reality that there will be people who are prettier than u. but learn to love the best parts of your face and accentuate them REDEFINE YOUR OWN STANDARDS. List the standards u want to follow and then ask these questions to yourself: do i truly want to be like them? do i feel comfortable with it? these questions will make u feel more comfortable w urself after u answer them sincerely
Thank you so much. I struggle lately, because I have adult acne and I have the impression that everybody sees it and judges it even though I wear make-up. Now I know not to take into consideration these kind of feelings
I stopped taking birth control for my health and now two months later my face has so many bumps it hurts and I feel ugly. I don’t want to deal with acne in my twenties. I hope that I can feel beautiful in my skin again
I've been dealing with negative body image for a long time. I am trying to overcome it by taking small steps at a time lately. Thank you for this video you made my day. I love your channel. You're an amazing person💖💖💖💖💖
thankyou so much for this empowering awareness which is very important for us nowadays, and that trick with new account for appreciating our beauty is a very good one. keeping up the good content like this Haley 🧡
Thanks for saying this but I want to point it out that people with perfect skin/symmetry/teeth tend to notice other people's flaws more. I had colleague who pointed out that I have a facial asymmetry which I had never noticed in my 27 years of life. It has created so much insecurity in my head. I didn't have this kind of insecurity when I was breaking out like crazy in my early 20s. I was confident about my smile and overall attitude. But after this girl pointed it out, I am always insecure when taking selfies because I know I don't look like my selfies to others. I cannot blame her but I noticed she has the most symmetrical face and perfect teeth, hair and body proportions even though she is not "attractive" otherwise. So, I tend to avoid such perfect looking people.
Very good video and spot on. I have a kinda big scar on my leg since I was a baby, and every single time I casually mentioned it, it turned out my friends never realized I had it. Once I went to a cosmetology clinic to get some procedure unrelated to the scar, but the doc saw it and went on suggesting an appointment to consult how they could help me get rid of it... even though I couldn't care less about the scar (thanks mom), he was talking as if it was a decided matter that I dreamed to get rid of it... straight up presuming I had a complex. And its not even that ugly, just a simple scar. That was very absurd. Most people I know who think they're ugly have so-called "imperfections" not uglier than my scar, so why they have to suffer if I don't suffer about it?.. that's sad
Haley! Thank you! I like the idea to take selfie everyday. Bc i am confident about myself but when its time to take picture its like big eww to me and made me lose confident so i try to avoid taking picture. I'll put them to practice
I didn’t have many friends growing up, or at least not genuine ones. My parents were not emotionally available for me either, so I looked for the problem within myself. What’s wrong with me? Why don’t my parents love me? Why does no one want to be my friend? It must be because I’m ugly. It must be because I’m fat. Because I’m quiet. I wanted to be pretty, because I thought love was conditional and that it had to be earned. But I’m deserving of love for simply existing
I always felt ugly because of how I was brought up through my childhood. They compare me to my mother, we don't look alike. She's so beautiful, yet I'm not. At HS, people notice every single thing about you, like your shoes, clothes (got called udong or jeje once > it means someone with no sense of style), your HAIRSTYLE, your teeth (fr, they bully you for it too), body, skin color, and weight. I got called ugly by children, my boy classmates, my effin ex-crush, and teachers. Family members made me use skin products at such a young age and fr i wasn't even fed enough (to stay thin they said) until my mom came home from overseas and found out that me and my bros were fed too little. This ruined my confidence, accepted it, no drive to change it whatsoever, because i believe that there is no hope for me to look good. The only way that I could accept myself is to get good grades, because people will praise you if you have these right? So I'm still stuck, being this unconfident, ugly girl, stressing herself with getting perfect scores but is now losing the energy to do so (procrastinating and hating myself even more). I'm trying to find and accept myself, because I don't want to be miserable forever or kill myself over such pointless reason of being alive and ugly. Thanks for this video tho, it really opened my eyes
You can’t control your facial features and body (to an extent), but you can control your personality and your style. I make my own clothes and feel so good when I wear it regardless how my face looks. :)
🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 thank you eonniiii.. I don't know where you get the idea to make this content, but it feels very relatable! even though I have peace now with my face features and body type, but I can't seem to find it with my skin yet.. pimples are ugh :| but thank you for bringing this uppp
It would make more sense if you said this while beinh ugly your whole life. It is like hearing about how being in a wheelchair is not a big deal from a long distance runner.
Haley I started to watch your videos because I love your natural make up techniques and how you deal with founding a good foundation for your skin tone. But this video was a nice surprise. Love ourselves as we are is far important than any other beauty advice. Thank you !
I think I'm ugly just because since I was child people around me told it to me, class mates, friends, family members, random unknown people...even have been bullied because I was ugly. Someone told me once that ugly and fat people don't deserve to be loved. Obviously I grew up seeing a monster in the mirror. Well I'm honest, really I'm not pretty, but now I accept it and I live happily even if people don't compliment me or men neither consider me a woman. I've learned that in life there are plenty of other priorities than beauty,and that beauty eventually fades away, so if mother nature doesn't gifts you with nice face and body you can cultivate the beauty inside of you. However it's always good take care of yourself, have a nice haircut, buy new clothes, pamper your body with a shooting routine, get off from socials and their fake beauty tips and standards and so on. So if someone relate to this comment and still suffer of insecurity or suffer for his / her look then I hope you can release all your pain, and start to have love and care for yourself finding inside of you your true beauty ❤️
I‘m 100% sure that the reason why I think I‘m unattractive is my nose. It’s just bigger than the average nose and it bothers me, all the other features on my face are really nice.
Hey Haley I just love your content and find you really beautiful as well so about this video I just have one thing to say about people who judge us I have also been around such people and i have to come to realise that they are actually themselves very insecure and hence they project it on others with that being said i also feel we can't control the world from judging us, that's a very unfair expectation to have cz we all are from such diverse backgrounds but what we can do is build another perception to it. I have come to find out that people only reflect our beliefs about ourself, they will pinpoint things but we will only react to the ones we also somewhere deep down believe in like when u said that u believed that you are ugly so in my opinion if we change our own beliefs others will reflect that too if someone truly believes they are beautiful no matter how many people tell them they are ugly one just brushes that off.
Couple of days ago a guy asked me out from my lecture and I was like why me? I'm so ugly. What did he see in me. He better off with another girl. This is what first came to my mind. I still haven't given him a response..
