Why your Partner Lies to you... 

Everything, really. So every conversation is worthless 😢 It's all a show.

@@artifundio1 true that😤

They're even lying that they love you. Because every sentence that come out their mouth is a lie. Lying Is like a disease. Like a computer virus. You can never really trust that person fully. You'll have to factory reset his brain to get him to change.

Thereis really no point talking

Agree, the best part is they even play victim🤣

True that

My wife accuses everyone of lying to her. Telling her the truth is easy, because I know she won't believe it. You should do a video for men whose wives are detached from reality.

Thankyou for this❤

Yes. And what should I do? It's been so long. About 3 years already. And the lies keep getting bigger and happen everyday.

@@srustidas7954 get out before you are 20 years in like me.

me too its hard

You're not. You've experienced a repeated pattern and that's your response now. An individual that constantly lies about everything all of the time has to seek help from a therapist and it's not your job to try and understand nor help them. You'll start to develop mental symptoms you never had. No one is worth your peace.

Do it now

Amen

😔

Real

That's just like my Mom. She would always scream, "You think I'm STUPID don't you?!? You just think I'm an IDIOT!!!" And of course that's never the case. It's not that the "liar" thinks you're an idiot. Its that the Liar would believe it so they think you would too. It's that the LIAR is stupid. When I was a Teenager I really thought my Mom would believe that the pack of cigarettes she found in my Purse weren't mine. 😂 That I was just holding them for someone else. I would have believed it! It sounded believable to me... So I told her a story that I would've believed. My brain wasn't capable of understanding that people are wiser and more experienced. So its not that I thought she was dumb. It's just that I was so dumb that I didn't realize how smart people could actually be. (I hope that makes sense. ❤)

@@inthelandofmorethansmall7582 I see that teenagers, and young children look at things differently, but a adult not so sure about that.

@@inthelandofmorethansmall7582 Thanks for showing me a different perspective on that.

We actually project ourselves on others.When I am dumb enough I would think that others are dumb too

Bro thinks hes Michael Corleone

yass

Well said!

You could not have said it better 👏

It's manipulation. Same as witchcraft. Surprise, I'm not interested in head games. Emotionally unavailable other person in a relationship accusing me of ANYTHING, means he's telling me exactly what he's doing.... but thinks I have no clue what's going on. Insert eye roll.

Well said 👏🏽

Or don’t want to be abused 🙏✌️

No, I'm sorry but respect isn't the issue. I will say that if someone goes out of their way to tell you the absolute whole entire truth all the time it COULD mean that they do it because they DO respect you... But the Liar isn't lying to you because of a lack of respect. And they don't think you're stupid either. They just want to avoid a fight.

I'm not saying that's okay to lie to others... because that's not a healthy behavior. But you have to ask yourself if you're providing a safe place for them to BE honest with you. I make sure to never give my Husband a reason TO lie to me. ***Does he buy something he shouldn't? Spend too much money? Okay. Thank you for telling me. (No need to remind him that we're on a tight budget and I still don't have a vehicle to get back and forth to work or a wedding ring after 13 years. He already knows. So why would I want to make him feel worse about his mistake?) ****Did he relapse and go get some drugs? Okay. Thank you for telling me. (No need to shame him any further. It doesn't help.) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> You also have to make sure you want to know the answer for the right reasons. Why do you want to know? What will it change? How does knowing help you? Are you asking ONLY because you want to punish him? Or keep score? Do you just enjoy yelling at him? What do you think will change when he starts telling you the truth about every thing? Will it actually make you happier? Remember, we shouldn't ask questions we don't want to know the answer to.

It can also be because of their fear or desires are stronger than being honest

My thoughts exactly

Why ? Some people are verbally not good at expressing themselves. Actions show our intentions and they are obvious. Words easily conceive.

Or you didn't ask is another...

@@tpilot_error404 Withholding information is a form of manipulation of the circumstance.

What about when you tell them I caught you, you lied to me and the person is like "no I didn't lie, I never lied to you" basically denying that they lied when in actuality they did lie and won't admit to your face

Anxiety is not a bad thing. It protect us. There is no wrong emotion. And anxiety is not a wrong emotion. When there is a threat the anxiety say us "protect yourself". The issue anxious behaviors or anxious attachment is sometimes misunderstood. When there is a threat feeling anxious is very healty. It's coming from evolution. But our partners manipulate us. They mistrust us and say "why are you anxious, it's your fault, there's nothing to worry". My ex girl friend did the same things. She told me lots of time you are too anxious. But all the time she was hiding somethings. And some of these issues were about cheating. Althoug that sometimes I thought "am I really an axious man, am I wrong, am I behaving unfair". All of these were the results of manipulation. At the end all my anxious thoughts were verified.

Do this think through the red flags with self forgiveness and learn. That's accomplishment write them down. Write what you did wrong and suggest new solutions for future experiences. For these people you will meet throughout life.

He was gaslighting you that's what that is called. And you are fortunate that you were discarded by the narcissist because sometimes they don't discard you and you're stuck in it forever continuing to kill your mental health. Don't let him hoover you back.

umutkara739. Well said. My husband did the same thing. I was this and I was that...only to find out a few years ago that he was unfaithful several times throughout. Things were hidden. Lies told. Yet I was this...I was that.. So yes, the anxious thoughts are verified.

I'm going to something similar too.. but we've only known each other for 8 months, he flirted with one of my bestfriend and asked for her pictures... When I asked him, he said he was very drunk and was just joking.. I don't plan on staying for long... We're hoping to get some evidence of it when it happens again..(she did show me some ss of their chats and he was actually very vulgar with her.. when he noticed she started to save the chats, he made her unsave them)... My dad had a huge surgery in March and he was visiting family, he told me he was going to bed but continued to text her an hour later too.. I'm so disappointed and hurt... I put in a lot of effort and time into him cause we had a genuine connection or so I thought.. worse is we promised we would rather leave each other than hurt when we're unsure or it doesn't work out... I feel so horrible.. my friends had to suffer cause of him and it's kinda my fault too...

Yeah, that blink blink…. I have a little alarm that goes off on that one, it kinda sounds like a watch alarm “incoming deflection prepare for blame reversal or question of sanity/meds”

Makes my blood boil when he says.." you need medication"

Thanks for ruining my relationship over a lost title, that I didn't have..so I'm lying about it. We've got 4 kids an she sent me this video. As if it's not already hard enuf!! She's the bread winner. My children are asked to leave with me,bc of not telling her about the lost title!!! Not All relationships are the same. I've never lied to her before. But yes, I said I had the title file for a loss title. And now since I'm a liar, I'm out. My daughters are suffering and she sends me your fucking video.

Yes, I agree. I made the mistake of lying and staying. Did not end well

1 word: Narcissism

Not everyone who lies does it to hide things for fear of telling the truth. Many lie because it makes them feel good about themselves, it makes them feel they're smarter than the person who believes their lies, it's a game to them and they enjoy every minute of it. My ex was a habitual liar. One time when I called him out on whatever lie it was he was trying to tell me that day, he said "I would never lie to you". I said "what are you talking about, you lie to me all the time". He looked at me with the biggest grin on his face, and walked out of the room.

You’re so kind :)

If I were you get the evidence you have and tell her you know and she can't deny it.

Women deny evidence

@@doggdmxyup 💯 facts

It also makes you feel if they lie about something small then they are hiding bigger lies like cheating

​@doggdmx @earthfairy4096 this channel is about healthy relationships. Don't bring stuff like this here. Men do it, too. It isnt gendered. You can't expect a healthy relationship by assuming that one specific gender is completely untrustworthy

I don't know that it's so much insecurity but rather having another man call him out on being a liar. He'd rather not hear he's a liar though he knows he is

🤣🤣🤣 Maybe toy are the problem.

@@alexraco3880 😮 Why throw a dart like that when a person is being vulnerable and sharing their hurt? I hope someone is kind to you today so you can feel happier and share it with those around you. So mote it be. 🪄Have a great day. 🕊️

Think about the unciousciouss patterns you may have while meeting someone new. It can be your childhood or self-esteem issues (I mean deep inside, not the masks your wear on every day on the outside). Good luck!

Unfortunately many have taken the clot shot, and are not the same anymore. I been also waiting for the right person for years have yet to feel comfortable enough to say to myself I found him. Not many people who are actual Christians, and not faking it or at least trying to do better in life.

I​@@etherealenergy9471

A sin is what they do not who they are but who they are is a sinner who needs redemption by Christ. We all have our pet sins we struggle with the most. For me it's idolatry and not controlling my tongue. But keep repenting it is a long journey but with God anyone can do it. Narrow is the way.

Oh my God, you again! All you do is complain, but do absolutely nothing about it!!

@@Gotoworkkk I just looked at your channel and I see what I expected. You have nothing nice to say about anyone’s comments. Maybe, their comments hit too close to home and reveal the kind of person you really are! Clearly, you have a compulsion to put people down to make yourself feel like you’re better than them. I’m guessing that most people don’t really care about your opinions and lack of empathy. The only thing your derogatory comments accomplish is to reveal your heartless nature and contempt for their pain!

please i need this rn

deep talks? if wont work break up

update?!

@@leilanix4lifeupdate?

Maybe cognitive dissonance... I'm not sure if that is the term I am looking for...but let me word it another way...maybe he can't mentally accept the uncomfortable feeling of knowing he was wrong, out of self preservation? So in order to forgive self, hold onto half of it. (Not an excuse for bad behavior...but may be a possible explanation?)

@@kristyo1645 Thank you for your opinion I truly appreciate it and respect it. I actually was reading it earlier and it made 100% sense until he left his phone home and I went through it and found a lot more lies. 😔 I should not have gone through it

@@cherylmoschitto_outwardsilence I'm sorry to hear it. Trust is hard to earn back, once lost through lies. It doesn't make sense to me either. It makes everything worse.

@@kristyo1645 it sure does and it makes you wonder why especially when it's small things why lie about the small things if you're lying about the small things then you most certainly are lying about everything. And then it just makes you question everything else. Which makes it so hard to keep a bond and communication and intimacy forget about it that goes out the window. Thank you for your feedback and thank you for being here for me I appreciate you

Because they learned we don’t actually want the truth. That the lies work for them and us. Proof of that is u saw with your own eyes yet u choose to not believe. Him confirming what u already know isn’t required. Why we do this I don’t know. Fkn hate it tho

trust not chest and most definitely! Like when my fiancee lied about my engagement ring being real because he didn't want to disappoint me but when I found out I was even more mad that he lied. I didn't care if it was a 10$ ring from Ross what I care about is the truth and complete honesty. Not flexing to make himself look good down with all that mess. Be real.

:(

Because the algorithm knows he would swipe it away.

Recognizing you have something embarrassing to admit is an opportunity for vulnerability that can actually bring you closer to your partner and create a deeper level of intimacy and trust. A grateful lesson to learn and to carry forward in your next relationship, hope it goes well for you. Hugs.

@mgrubba I'm at that point in this moment 😪 do you feel better after 1 month?

Are you still with him? Were you intelligent enough to leave a cheater?

100! My sister always says God will always reveal the truth. She would tell her lying cheating child molesting narcissistic ex husband that all the time.

Hello. The first thing I'll say is that the reason Jesus came is to free us from every bondage including bondage to lies. Also, The Bible says the truth sets us free. The truth here refers to the truth of God's words. You need to get born again; thereby accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour. Afterwards, read your Bible - see what the Scripture says about truth. Look up messages that dissuade lying. Also, pray. Ask God to forgive you for being a liar. Then ask him to deliver you from lying. Stand in the authority of Jesus and renounce lying. You can also meet a pastor to pray for you. This way, you can be free from the Spirit of lying. There are different reasons a person may lie. Sometimes it's just the person's flesh lying. At other times, the person lies whether they like it or not because a spirit is helping them do it. That way, the spirit should be cast out. However, reading God's words will still set you free whether there is a spirit controlling you or not. Trust me, the devil will try to prevent you from reading the bible. Fight Him and try to spend time with God. You will receive the grace to not only stop lying, but to stop doing other things too.

Wow. Thank you so much for this! I knew they'd added "freeze" but "fib" makes so much sense! I always wondered why I would lie when confronted directly with the evidence! I couldn't explain it. And as soon as I calmed down I would admit the truth... But my instinct was always to Lie and Deny!

When (as a kid) you get punished for flat-out telling the truth...well, guess what?

@@inthelandofmorethansmall7582 Like my ex girl friend. At last she told me in her childhood she always had to lie because of her family. And I know she was honest about this. But now she is not a child, she's strong , she has not have to lie. But she still lies. This is an unhealty coping mechanism.

Oh, I know it's a defense mechanism why he lies to me. I couldn't care less. It's been a year of it. I'm done.

Agreed. I think he’s talking more about big picture lies, finances, cheating, etc.

Diplomacy is not lying. It's different.

My husband always thinks I'm lying. When in reality I just don't think to tell him. If he asks me, I always tell him the truth. But I don't think to tell him every time I stop at the gas station or get a phone call from my Son asking for money. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ He calls it "lying". I call it "insignificant details". He's always like, "Why didn't you tell me that?!?" And I'm like, "Im sorry i guess I didnt think it was important." Then hes mad. But he stays mad. At the world. At me. At everyone and everything. All day, every day. So it wouldn't matter if I told him everything or if I DID start lying to him... He's still going to be mad at me all the time. This is also the same type of person who is like, "Where are you going?" every time I get up to get a drink or go to the bathroom. He has even BUSTED through the bathroom door while I was using it because he thought I was hiding something. (😮 I was super embarrassed... 😢) I mean, to me? It's ridiculous. ******* For the record these are some other examples of "My Lies": *our dogs don't like Peanut Butter *I got tired of eating the same thing after I ate it every day for 2 wks 🤷🏼‍♀️ *I don't remember how much I spent at the grocery store because I can't find the receipt (but we can look at our account online) *His Mom called me (just to chat) *My daughter mentioned going to the Football Game on Friday if she was allowed *Someone turned around in our driveway 😂 *Someone is coming to town (not even to stay with us, just coming to town) *I have a doctors appt somewhere at some point (but he's not going so I don't know why it matters) *I got up late last Tuesday It's always, "BuT yOu dIdNt tElL mE yOu tHaT!" Look, I have ADHD and ASD. My parents and my ex husband and I just didn't act like that. I just do not think to tell him sometimes. I've obviously gotten better in our 13 years of marriage but sometimes I just dont think to call him at work to tell him this nonsense that - to me - is insignificant and doesnt affect him in any way. Ntm I have so many important things on my mind that I just don't think about it.

To answer your question, I think you have to decide that... I don't think your partner needs to know anything that doesn't affect t them. So how can your past affect them? It can't. Not unless you had a baby or got an STD... or maybe if you were r*ped or abused and then the trauma will eventually come out. But otherwise you just need to decide if it's something you can live with. Like,if you dont tell him every detail, will you feel guilty? If you feel guilty, you will end up telling him the truth later. And that will prove you to be a liar. And yes, I mean technically if he asks and you don't tell him the facts of exactly what happened, then it is a lie. But I personally don't believe all lies are bad. 😊 For example, let's say you had a man use a vibrating toy on you and you liked it... Or maybe he used his tongue. Does your Man want to hear every detail about what exactly he did with that toy or his to gue? Does he way to know exactly how it made you feel so good? No. He doesn't. So why should you tell him the other details of your past? Especially if he's just asking so he can be judgy. And what other reason could there be? The answer won't change anything about YOUR relationship. So to be honest, he really shouldn't ask to begin with.

​@@inthelandofmorethansmall7582 that doesn't sound like you have a lying problem. You may want to start going to counseling just yourself for yourself. And get an objective eye on this. You may be too close. It sounds like your husband has a control problem and is blaming you so he doesn't have to face it or so you don't figure it out. It is not lying to not share every single thought you have, every single second every single moment of your day. It is not lying to not tell your husband that your son called to talk to you. And if he needs to know every single moment every single second. And you can't get up off a couch without any questioning where are you going. And you that you can't even get up to go to the bathroom without being questioned. Problem on his end not yours. The problem lies with him and not you. Of course if you decide to go to counseling your husband's going to get more controlling and it might move to abuse if it hasn't already. And that may be a case where you may have lie to him. Because no way is he going to let you go to counseling it may become threatening to him and you won't be safe. That is the one thing that Jimmy did not address in the lying video. In the case of abuse in a woman or a man trying to get out of relationship that has potential to become unsafe in that case we have to withhold.

I am with you on that, it feel like you get played by family siblings and friends boyfriend or girlfriend and they lied to you so much you just can't take it anymore.

They are manipulating you.

yep.