Wilbur Soot - Losing Face (CMYB Demo) 

Can I just say that this version is.. such a weird mix of comforting and absolutely sombering. The voice cracks, the shaky tone, the sheer upset and frustration in his voice? I teared up listening. I’ve been there and hope Wilbur, myself, and you (yes, you, whoever is reading) never have to feel this ever again, or in the first place if you’ve never felt this way.

The amount of pain hearing his voice break from anger to sadness is something i cannot express,but also a very reletable feeling.

He shared that he was drunk while making this song, as well as a recent breakup, holy shi, he took advantage of these and made a masterpiece. Favorite track from YCGMA

i prefer this version its sounds how i think it should have sounded from the start, someone singing a song a while sounding on the verge of braking down

he sounds like he had enough of this song lmao love this version

this is a perfect over generalization of ycgma. the voice cracks, the shift in tone, how his voice changes its pitch. how he gets so aggressive and then suddenly softens his voice. exactly how you'd deal with something traumatic or jumbles of your emotions. just a mental breakdown

In this version, Will sounds so tired and just . . . done. There are multiple times when he seems to be on the verge of a mental breakdown, (1:14, 1:54, 2:22, 2:31 [?], and 2:57 to 3:06.), and I hope that nobody - including myself, has to go through the same thing that Wilbur went through during his time in London.

2:57 this little part right here hurts my heart sm lmfao “so touch him, and break me, strip naked, embrace him” like the “and break me” mostly hurts tbh, but he says it with so much emotion in all his different demos and versions of this song, it’s sad, this song rlly hits me hard ngl

I love the "fucking 1, 2." At the start. He just sounds so fed up and it just really sounds real. And as someone who creates music also, I can tell its genuine and I feel like this a lot. Of course the rest of the song is just amazing. But that part really hits home for me and its somewhat satisfying(?) anyway, I'll let you stop reading this and let you listen to the song in peace. Enjoy! :D

1:51-1:59 you can really hear the pain in his voice during this line. it really sounds like hes having a near breakdown over it i now have a new song to do acting practices with

please never delete this!! this is my favourite version of this song

this version has so much more emotion behind it. it weirdly reminds me of crywank songs because of the amount of emotion behind it, the percussion and guitar.

1:14 you could tell he was swallowing his tears when saying "Is he better than me?" i personally really like this better over the original because i feel more emotion and it fulfills the aim of the song better.

damn this is like a try not to cry challenge

FUCK, this hurts so much hearing how bad his mental state was- he just performed YCGMA at a concert, and I’m so glad he’s worked up the courage to sing such a gut wrenching album in front of thousands of people.

Holy shit I want to cry, at the part of if you didn't go and fall in love it sounds like he broke:(

1:57 Jesus dude you good?

to believe we have come full circle.

"If you didn't go and fall in love AND RUIN EVERYTHING."hit me different. I definitely prefer this version over any other one

I think this version is better but he sounds so much sadder throughout :(

I'M SORRY??? WHY DOES THIS ONE SOUND WAY MORE PAINFUL??? I'm speechless I really like this

he sounds like he's on the verge of a breakdown, the pain in his voice is making me fucking sob, I love this

He sounds like he’s about to break in half durning this

This song were eveyrhing.. I even got it tattooed, i feel like with every trum its a nail in my spine. My card readdy did decline at therapy

God this hurts so much to listen too, but it really gets the point across. And even when it sounds like he's about to collapse, you can understand exactly what he is saying. Sad, but beautiful

I'm no musician but the way he strums that guitar here just feels so visceral, emotional.

// LYRICS // First and foremost Oh, let it be said I was gonna wait for you So this is not an act of spite But a visceral coming-to She wrote an album And that's something that I can't do But what I can do is spit the truth And it all leads back to you Secondly, I know I haven't written much You know the way I can be Tonight, I'm fucking drunk So it's all gonna be about me Take a seat, pull up a chair Give me one beat to fill my glass I've lost a piece of me in you But you've lost all your past Is he better than me? Has he seen more to this life? Can he smoke more? Can he fuck more? Are you good enough to be his wife? Can he break me? Can he break you? Oh, I don't know what I'm to do Yes, I don't know what I'll fuckin' do I've seen our café, I've clocked our plans Oh, what could have been If you didn't go and fall in love And ruin everything I've seen him I've been him I've felt the same way But now I break against the dirt Along with our cafés Is he better than me? Has he seen more to this life? Can he smoke more? Can he fuck more? Are you good enough to be his wife? Can he break me? Can he break you? Well, I don't know what I'm to do Yes, I don't know what I'll fuckin' do I've lost all meaning I've lost my sense of hope I've seen him going out with you I've seen what he can do So touch him And break me Strip naked Embrace him Lose faith in His pace, his Stamina and grace I'm losing face I'm losing face I'm losing I don't care, I want you here As long as you're happy, I don't care

And this is why Losing Face is my fav song from the ycgma album, and this version in particular helps me to understand why Wilbur doesnt like it. The raw emotion behind this really gives us an intel to how much Wilbur was hurting while making this in particular, and it really resonates with me. It isn’t some carbon copy song, it has meaning behind it, Wilbur made it to express his feelings and i like it for that

this one sounds more emotional and it sounds so good

This version genuinly makes me so fucking sad but it so GOOD- I guess it's the amount of emotion in his voice, and the way he sounds like he's struggling and how he's on the verge of a breakdown. It's very relatable, well, except for the love part, mostly the mad/sad part. It's the rawness and roughness in his voice as he sings certain parts, aswell as his sad tone throughout the entire recording. Genuinely makes me sad and a bit nervous if I'm being honest, but I fucking LOVE-

This is about a bad person being scared to lose the one he loves because he knows how many better people there are out there It's probably related, he's probably a bad and manipulative person because of his insecurities, it's all a vicious circle I thought he had changed after everything that happened, but he's as much of a broken man now as he was when he released "Your City Gave Me Asthma"

jesus christ this is an emotional one

Holy shit the fact this was written when he was drunk and going through a break up amazes me. The raw emotion in the end bit, (02:54) and 01:53 has made me cry over this song so many times. The voice cracks, the way he gets louder and quieter, sings slowly and quickly, his voice shaking it’s amazing. Love this song so much.

"and RUIN EVERYTHING" holy shit that hits different i dont even know how to express it

this is why Wilbur's music is so good, just how raw and unedited it feels. How it's almost always just him and a guitar. The emotion in his voice, the constant changing of tone and just all of the genuine care put into the music.

cocaine makes you boring has such an angry and broken vibe to it, i love it so much

Gives me big crywank vibes. Songs about raw emotion always sound the best when done imperfectly

i love this song, this version is great but im glad that he's (seemingly) in a better place now :)

it makes it more sad that wilbur talked about this song on stream and he says this song was inspired by an actual breakup he had.

man's going through it, geezus

I love how you can hear him going through anger, sadness, acceptance, it sounds so good at the end when his voice softens. Hes come so far.

he sounds like a wholesome older brother on the verge of crying but trying to act happy to keep his younger brother happy whilst something tragic is happening in the background

This late at night on loop during a heartache hits different

my god coming back to this after the new lovejoy song.. his vocals have changed so much, but these raw ones are just so heartbreaking and i love them for some reason. he’s grown so much

The *if u didnt go and fall in love and ruin everything* and *stamina at the grace im losing face* is wil almost breaking down

1:57 "and ruin everything" the genuine pain you can hear holy shit ,hey will you okay need to talk :)♡

How many times have you listened to this? *yes*

omg I gonna cry he sounds so sad :((

You can just feel the frustration through each strum.

This version is a lot sadder, I love it

I love this version. It's such pure emotion man. I cried.

If i need to cry i listen to this

he sounds so broken.. i mean it is about getting dumped. hard to listen to him be so sad

Idc how old this song demo is, it’s 12 at night I’m in tears because of this man. Just knowing how much he was hurting making this album makes my heart hurt, and the pain in his voice ☹️ ..

The most talented king to bless this universe

Here I am 9 months later still obbsesed with this

My favorite Ycgma song, the fact Will shared he was drunk and had a recent break up when doing this really makes it so sad. At the "Ruin everything" part you can hear the genuine frustration and sadness in his voice.

fucking hell, this song just hits different

"If only you didn't fall in love and ruin everything" God that broke me apart

i adore this song so much. the start sounds like he’s trying to dismiss his feelings and opinions but as the song gets more and more emotional almost as if he’s confessing these feelings to someone and at the very end its as if he got shut down and hes repressing his thoughts and feel again. i really think this is a masterpiece

"oh what could have been, if you didn't go and fall in love, and ruin everything" makes SO MUCH sense now after what he said on stream today about most of his songs being for the aromantics

Came back to this song because someone I truly loved played me. Me and T, my ex girlfriend, had never stopped loving each other, even after the many break ups. In exactly 10 days it'll be our 'anniversary' from when we first asked eachother out. We've not dated in 6 months yet she never stopped saying she loved me and we should try again. First red flag with this is during this period of time she dates multiple other people...many times too. Some were my friends, others strangers she had just met. Today, we talked about getting back together since we both loved each other so dearly and we posted something on Snapchat about us kissing. Yet, at 9 pm after the beach I find out she had a girlfriend. I brought it up to her and she said they 'took a break' or 'weren't dating at all'. Funniest of all, the entire day she was saying how much R, her gf (I didn't know at the time obviously) was such a bitch and they'd never ever date. She told me not to worry. Yet, load and behold, they are inlove. Her gf got all mad at me for kissing her and cuddling her yet I thought she was single, she never told me. Anyways, I feel so played. Worst of all, she kissed first. She wanted me to touch her, cuddle her, be hers. This song has always been a comfort but man, it hits harder now I'm sitting on my bedroom floor drunk after all this shit. Edit: I'm sober now and my friend and Ex T SA'd me while we were in the ocean as well. Fucked up man.

the "and ruin everything" is literally how i sang it a year ago when i was on the edge of crying but just couldn't on the night streets of my city, with no one around.

I get it dude. i can't explain how much this song means to me. this song is the perfect way to describe heartbreak, gut wrenching and a severe amount of desperation. every lyric is perfect, the ending bittersweet.

okay I didn't understand what people said when it sounds like a sad song he fucking sounds like he broke down in tears mid song and to fucking hear that from ur comfort streamer is fucking heartbreaking I literally started crying because he sounded like he was in so much pain.

this finna be the tune ill put on when the worlds ending

i hate how much i relate to this right now

You can hear the pain in his voice it's so sad. You can hear that he was crying his eyes out while he was singing. I have never related to a song more if I'm honest. I love Wilbur so much he deserves the whole fucking world he's been so much and always wears a smile. Even after being told to khs multiple times he still wears a huge smile and his laughter still as sweet as honey. I love Wilbur so fucking much he saved my life and I will always be greatful for that

Woah, this is so good! Although Wilbur's songs always have feel in some way, this one is especially emotional, wow. love it.

i think the demo version from CMYB is just so incredibly beautiful - the voice cracks from raw anger and sadness, the shift in tone, how his voice changes in pitch. how he gets so aggressive and then suddenly softens his voice. you can hear the overwhelming amount of sheer confusion and rage and upset and frustration and all these pent up feelings, and its amazing how he can convey those intense doses of emotion to the audience; its really something I can't explain. and I hope that NOBODY has to go through what Wilbur did while he was writing these songs; as someone who's gone through something pretty similar (and still kinda is tbh), it really isn't fun. I hope Wilbur, myself, or whoever's reading this, never has to feel this again. To anyone who's going through something right now, it does get better, I wish you the very best.

it sound like hes going to cry all the up to the ruin every thing part, then it sound like he just breaks. i love it so much oml.

This always gets me crying, you can hear his voice cracking through the song, YCGMA was really well done..

Often when I'm drunk I find myself listening to this and singing along. It hurts whenever I hear this, sober or not, it's incredible how this song effects me. The released version is also amazing, don't mistake that it's just this one has that raw emotion alot of songs lack. Every voice crack or slight waver in his voice hurts and impacts you with such brutal force your left in a river to sink and drown with no way back up. Forever sinking. That is until you also realise the beauty in this version as well. Not only is it emotional but also well done making it feel more important. That's why I love this song with everything I've got :)

Just the name "Cocaine makes you boring" is so much more depressing

I need advice. This album, especially this song, is my safe place. What now? Am I allowed to enjoy his music even with everything?

this version of losing face :( wow i really love this one. wish someone gave him a hug while writing this lol sounds like he needed it

the breakage in his voice between a mixture of anger and sadness breaks my heart

After listening to YCGMA I was concerned about Wil’s mental health. I’m so glad he’s doing better now :)

It’s so sad you can hear how wobbly his voice was you could hear his emotions pouring out as he sang. He’s such a lovely person and the fact that he can make you feel emotion as he sings is incredible

IT SOUNDS SO WEIRD WITHOUT THE "My dear"

This made me cry for it had reminded me of my ex, cry in a good way though, in a way of coming to terms with what happened.

as someone who is going thru this exact thing rn, listening to this is the only thing keeping me going rn. we broke up 2 weeks ago, after 8 months are dating, and he's moved on. He's moved on. I don't know what to fucking do. he was supposed to stay. he was supposed to come back. idk how he expects me to be happy for him

i’m actually sobbing i feel the pain

its… very weird coming back to this song with this version because of how it always expresses my emotional state. the first time i heard it was the offical version when i got out of my best past relationship and i just needed that type of music. but now coming to this song out of my most recent breakup kinda expresses my own mental state. tired, and wanting to get wasted off my ass while on the verge of a mental breakdown.

this song somehow helped me alot when I just lost a 2+ year roleplayer partner who at this point I'd die for but now their gone. Thank you for uploading this song-

I don't know what I expected but the more time passed, the more I shuddered when I heard his voice break at the same time that it was louder everytime I swear my fight or flight sense got triggered ot something

i'm hearing this version for the first time and oh my god he sounds so heartbroken and angry :( i almost feel like i'm violating his privacy, this was something so raw and emotional holy fuck. i'm glad he's in a much better place now

This version is so heartbreaking... I feel weird when I start to listen this and the normal version, knowing this album is real and he lived this lyrics... Im so happy that he's better now..❤

I love this version so much :,) thank you

The amount of visceral reactions this demo gives me. I can feel the frustration and it genuinely makes me lurch and tear up when he actually breaks a little (you know the part I'm talking about) , and then the lead into anger and then solemnity. It's the stages of a breakdown, and I find that absolutely gut wrenching. I scream this in my car more often than I'd like to admit, and it's sadly ironic that I'm on my way to counseling as I write this.

idunno if he's laughing or crying but holy fuck this is so much more emotional than the final version it's beautiful

He deserves so much i cant even put it into words

I cried the first times I heard this version of losing face. it's so sad and so genuine

im glad hes doing better now genuinely deserves the world dude

This made me tear up bruh I can't imagine how hurt he is, how much torment he's been through to spill so much emotion

This one feels so raw.

he sounds on the verge of tears i adore this version and him so much :'(

This is the same guy who inspired me to play Guitar, I found my talent for the instrument in 2019.

jesus that hurt more than the final song

I love this version I just relate to the "if you don't go and fall in love and RUIN everything"