WILL YOU MARRY A DIVORCEE?- EP 6 || BITTER TRUTH SHOW 

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Muslim men please let's protect and treat our Muslim women kindly for they are the visual representation of Islam in the public space and the foundation of this ummah.

Watching this as a revert to Islam who got divorced at 35 with two children because my ex was Islamophobic and did not like that I came to Islam. I pray that Allah will give me a husband who is accepting of my past.

There’s a time we Somalis Men prefer a divorcee than never married because of their experience. I agree with brother Ali when he said “Somalis don’t frown on a Divorcee”. We treat them the same most of the time. I saw a lady who was divorced 6 times and she still got married the 7th time.

The brother in the red looks like he was sent to the corner shop for a pint of milk but accidentally stumbled into a studio 🤭🤭

A Muslim woman that has had 2 divorces in the past should never be labelled as having two sexual partners in the past. It is disgusting and demeaning. Muslim women are the best females on the planet. I cant believe how men can talk to sisters like this as if theyve had boyfriends. It shows how television has truly corrupted our minds. Stay strong sisters. As a muslim man i will always defend your honour even if you were divorced 10 times. Well done. May Allah reward you for protecting your chastity

I am a Young Muslim Man of 24 years old, never married before. 1st, I agree with these women, Allahumma Barik! 2ndly, InshaAllah I will marry a divorcee, everyone deserves a 2nd chance! Men need to be men aka strong enough mentally to accept a divorcee. Prophet SAW did it, so we should too.

Brothers in Islam I suggest all of you to read the Biography of our beloved Prophet (PBUH). It will change your life InshaAllah. One of the things which impacted me was, before I would look down on marrying divorcees or older women now I am happily willing to marry one. You never know the divorcee or the older woman you marry, will be the best one for you. May Allah grant us right understanding.

I think it’s unfair to call someone whose never been married before bigoted because they aren’t accepting of marrying a divorcee- a man or woman. I do think its hypocritical when either a divorced man/ woman are expecting to marry someone who hasn’t been married before however. I understand preferences- but you can’t deny there is hypocrisy on a divorced man/woman not wanting to marry another divorced man/woman.

My mother divorced my father because he committed a sin. He confessed decades after the divorce. My parents are from a culture where divorce is extremely frowned upon no matter for what reason. Because of that mom's own family accused her for years for "making a mistake, you chose him, you should've seen this in him" (my father's family, on the contrary, defended him). But, hearing stories from friends and relatives about my father, mom could hardly predict whether he was gonna do that. People can be actors, they can wear a mask for a while. And because of this ability of people to pretend, we need to understand that divorce is allowed in Islam for a reason. This world is not ideal, and we are not ideal, we are prone to mistakes and sins, the question is in quantity and degree.

O Allah, set right for me my religion which is the safeguard of my affairs. And set right for me the affairs of my world wherein is my living. And set right for me my Hereafter on which depends my after-life. And make the life for me (a source) of abundance for every good and make my de ath a source of comfort for me protecting me against every evil.”[Muslim]🧕🏼🤲🏼📿

As a Somali I would say divorce not being frowned upon is beneficial to the men and women to some extent but it is detrimental to children. I know multiple women that have been married 3-4 times. MashaAllah they are doing something that is halal and with good intentions but it's unfortunate for children to get attached and forced to detach from step parents.

If he doesn't want to marry a divorced woman there's nothing wrong with that.

I’ve noticed a consistent pattern Muslim women love to play VICTIM. They always complain about how brothers won’t marry Divorcees & Brothers won’t marry sisters with kids BUT they will NEVER tell you about the MULTIPLE good practising brothers they turned down for some STUPID REASON Like …. •He’s 5’10 taller than her but she wants 6ft. •He earns enough to provide her with a comfortable life but he doesn’t have a Degree. •He’s too nice •A sister once said to me she turned a bother down because she don’t like the way he dresses, he owns his own business earns a lot & wants to marry her and provide for her kids. All that was ignored because of his clothing I personally use to have sympathy for divorcees with kids but the more and more you speak to them and they reveal there true reality all that sympathy goes out the window.

As a young man, I am learning a lot from this. From our perspectives as men and our sisters perspective

Alhamdulilah that I am a Somali woman, and our men are not insecure about marrying a divorced woman. My mother was a divorced woman with 2 boys when she married my father who never been married before, and she gave him 11 kids and he was the love of her life. He’s been dead for 25 yrs and she’s been loyal to him, always remembering and doing sadaqa for him. Why are these South Asian men insecure about marrying a divorced woman when the Prophet PBOH encouraged to marry a divorce, and widow women? Their reasons don’t even make sense. An Indian man asked me for marriage but the more I learn about their culture the more I want to say no and marry a Somali brother.

I have been watching all full episodes so far..MashaAllah I am benefiting from these. May Allah reward you all .amin

Ali this is a brilliant idea of a discussion to bring out alot of the pressing issues that needs to be addressed in the Muslim society and may Allah bless you and your guests for it. The only observation I have is that the discussions have to be moderated better, I think jumping from one topic to the other without properly addressing it or one person interrupting the conversation before the other person make his point is kind of counterproductive, I think we'll benefit more from these discussions if you have clear topics to discuss and give people ample time to address those topics without being interrupted, and if someone wants to address what someone said, they can press their buzzer to get a chance to respond and when they're finished the discussion continues. May Allah reward you.

Haloo really is a gem Allahumma barik, bringing the laughs, representing the young muslim average joe's, catering advice for the youth knowing that they make up majority of social media consumption. Brother Gabriel closing statement was just mind blowing, Allahumma barik. May Allah reward them all with steadfastness and put barakah in everything they do.

Jazak Allahu Khayran, I really found this discussion helpful in answering some of the questions we hear around us in society. A thing that needs to be talked about more is what are the rights of men and women in marriage and issues that most commonly occur.

People don't want someones emotional baggage

My bro Gabriel absolutely on point... the only one bringing some balance to the conversation and making objective points. Some other good points made here or there, but overall very subjective and little substance without Gabriel's insights

Thank you for creating this show brother Ali i'm so proud of you as a muslim sister may Allaah reward you for everything you've done for the benefit of the muslim community.

Personally as a 17 yo male I would want to marry a virgin as I have always wanted to experience this romantic relationship with someone else that hasn’t experienced it either. However I would go for a divorced woman if I divorced my first wife ( in sha allah that day doesn’t have to come if I have a wife). It’s not about her being “used” or a bad person because they divorced but it’s because I can’t experience a romantic relationship the same way with someone who’s already had that Edit: thank you for the nice comments. Please let’s not argue because at the end of the day we are all brothers and sisters and we should take care of each other❤️

The niqabi sister and brother Gabriel made really good points! May Allah help this ummah's men and women be better in themselves, their deen and towards each other.

Brother Gabriel is always speaking truth and does it like a man and is still gentleman may Allah reward the whole show

Double standards: - Women exclude men based on his finances and FUTURE prospects. They openly choose 15% of the male population who are professional over blue collar workers/working class men who make up 85% of the male population. - Men exclude women based on her PAST because men value sexual security in a wife rather than her financial security. Women could exclude divorce men or men who have a haram sexual past but they generally dont care. Many professional sisters will marry nonmuslim men with professional jobs and happily exclude working class muslim men. Double standards are inevitable. Both men and women cause our own double standards.

The impact of divorce on a women is far greater than on a man. This is exactly why women need to chose better at the start. I do recognise that people change.

Great advice for my married brother and sister that find it difficult is to look inward in what is lacking in your deen. No matter what your problem is only ALLAH can solve it.. Put the time and effort in your deen Make sure to remove any sin that can be the root of all your problem. Do you read Quran do you pray on time Sunna, nawafel ..Do you do night prayer.. Make sure to read Baqarah in the house. May Allah protect the marriage Muslim umma.

I laughed at how he said there was 7 mins left at 59:39 and the show actually ends 20+ mins later lol 😂.. beautiful episode I learned alot as a recent divorcee thank you for the information.. and the sister is right no matter how much financially independent the sister is no sane woman wants to break their family home😢😢

In South Asia Desi people do frown upon divorced men too. A father from south Asia would never be okay for his virgin daughter to marry a divorced men. So please don't miss represent South Asian muslim.

Divorce is a joke in western society. Societal Stigma Is required in order to emphasise something is not good i.e divorce even if permissible.

this is the closest you can get to marriage documentary.

Ali is a great guy Masha'Allah. But he never let people finish their point. He keeps talking over them. I say this in the most respectful way.

I liked before even watching the video. Important conversation for the umah.

needs a part 2, great show.

bro young men are already struggling with non divorce women how on earth we will handle the divorce one in this generation crazy walahi

Yes we must speak against this divorce issue in our societies especially south Asian society. But remember one thing that marriage is not a game that you divorce again and again

I got married with the right intentions and my husband at the time lied about so many things, had a bad temper and was physically and mentally abusive. I left him after almost a year and a half. When I tried to find someone to get married to, every single south asian men apart of one had an issue with the fact I was divorced. They have made it so hard for us asian divorced sisters. I will never put myself through that again. I hope I do not offend any one just speaking from my experience.

No one is obligated to marry who they don't want to. Why are men being shamed and trip-guilt into doing something they don't want to do...

We really need to learn to not interrupt each other, and listen to each other😂 I feel this talks are very important and we can learn a lot but we need to learn to stop feeling that we are being attacked if someone sees things differently than us.

I am a single person, searching for a good moderate muslim since 10+ years..please pray for me to Allah that i get married very soon as iam a true muslimah and need protection of a husband.

What brother gabriel was talking about at 25:11 to do with insecurities is called retroactive jealousy where a person basically has obsessive thoughts about their partners history and has certain triggers which cause them to obsess over it, for example, constantly asking their partner questions about their past, and it usually comes from a place of insecurity and a persons upbringing rather than judgement. even if it is a man’s nature to be naturally jealous , women can also suffer from this.

Ima be real I’ve never been fond of getting married but these bitter truth shows make me physically sick to think about it. I did not know it was this complicated

Everyone kept comparing situation to the time of prophet and sahabas but no one mentioned the fact that in those days, having multiple wives were common so a guy can marry a virgin AND a divorcee. Marriages were easy back then now very difficult

Great podcast and discussion as always! A slight technical point I'd like to make is to increase the volume of the mics for people who speak with a low volume. Gabriel speaks with a very relaxed low volume cadence and I have to increase my volume to hear him sometimes and then immediately lower it because Ali starts speaking haha. So please in the post production process try to even out the volume of everyone.

Great conversations. Alhamdulillah

Listen to this men and learn ladies : do not marry your daughters to divorced men .

It’s a choice each to their own we’re all on our own journey May Allah make it easy for my brothers and sisters we need to unite these testing times.

It has less to do with blaming ppl for their trauma and more to do with not being confident that the relationship can work with that trauma being factored in.

This episode was very beneficial.

The stigma on polygyny has created the stigma in divorce. If men believe they have more options in the future, they wouldn’t mind marrying a divorcee.

Continue with these type of videos they’re very educational and this Umah really needs it!! ❤❤

The guy in the middle didn’t bring no value in the discussion, was giving modeen antics

Ali, love your work, let's do more podcasts like this!

Sister at the end was right when she said our fathers and grandfathers stayed and fought for there marriages and don’t leave men have changed she got it 💯

Let’s see how tiktok feminists react to this video 😂

Very beneficial. MashaAllah

Gabriel made an intriguing point near towards the end. I never thought it like that May Allah bless ur Ilm further 🙏🙏

@AliDawah can you add timestamps to these longer videos? It's make it easier for us to go back to sections we want to re-watch

Divorce is the last resort when all other options have failed. Subhan'Allah we can't paint every relationship with the same brush. Some people go through horrific situations where divorce is in fact the healthier thing to do. Having said that... in the 21st Century divorce seems to often be the FIRST resort.... This is a worry, no doubt. On the issue of marrying a divorcée? There are many opinions on this topic but it all comes down to this... marry wisely; be it a divorced person or a person who was never married; be it someone with a past or not.... what matters is trusting Allah Subhanuhu wa'ta'ala to guide us in EVERYTHING.

Finally!❤ waiting for podcast for so long .

حفظک الله و جزاکم الله خیرا اخی علی ❤❤❤

This podcast has me cracking up 😂 Ali dawah and the brother in the red are hilarious 😂😂😂😭😂😂

The stigma on polygyny brings about the stigma on divorcees. Because if a man feels he can only marry one woman, he would try his best to get the best possible deal, but when a man knows he can marry again without stigma, men would have no problem marrying divorced women. It happens a lot in my country, especially in my community

I'm just 10 mins in, but i can say this episode is much more organized, Ali please keep the number of panelist at 6 ( 3 brothers & 3 sisters) as opposed the 8 we're used to, this keeps the conversation more engaging, less talking over each other, more organized and less chaotic

Woow. What a great conversation!!!

The Asian community frown on divorce and they have less divorces. The Somali community don’t but they have a huge divorce problem to the point my entire neighborhood apart from my parents are divorced

Thank you Brother Ali....The show is Good so far for me.

Allahoema barik this podcast was beneficial just as others. Brother Ali i would really love to see you do a podcast on widows. I really feel we are left out mostly out of the discussion. Jazaka allahoe ghairen

Like all struggles- this one too teaches us to work on ourselves on our shortcomings. The sister in the middle! True that lack of accountability and God-consciousness. All issues we have coming from there

Thank you brother Ali! We need more ppl like you in this world to help the ppl who have been misguided by the Shaytaan.

I wish if I could have this advice or hear this debate 15 years ago I think I wouldn't be single since now but Alhamdulillah

I appreciate the sisters' words at the end. Gave the hope and inspiration from an Islamic and psychologically healthy point of view which is truly the way forward, a stark contrast to the superficial way the brothers viewed the issue.

My sister divorced a good man as he wouldn't stop frequenting his mother! 1 little thing, divorce!

I want to share my opinion in this matter although I am not devorced. There were many conflicts throughout the 7 years of marriage and divorce was so close many times. However, due to my job I had to continue my study abroad with my kids and without my husband due to circumstances that we couldn't control. I found time apart helped us appreciate each other and fully understand each other more. Sometimes being separated will help you understand your wrongs and really help you to understand what you need to work on. A divorced lady certainly has gained experience through a past marriage! It is like revizing a book you read several times before I guess.

Whole podcast was nice, btw, I liked the last 15 minutes more.

Regarding healing: I think you can measure healing through function and behaviour. The trauma or events that youve been through Will effect your new marriage through behaviours. If you have toxic or bad behaviours caused by your earlier marriage you know you have to work on it. Because how you feel will show itself through how you act. If you are sometimes sad when you look back but easily forgets and moves on you can still be healed

Alhamdullah we don't look down on divorcees, we are too religious for certain things... we have other issues but we never outcast people for things that are beyond their control.

I don’t care I will marry any Good woman and religious Whether be divorced or widowed that’s all

This podcast is elite icl

Ali, Alhamdulillah for these, as a muslim, we need these, much better than watching any movie or drama series online. One request, please bring more individuals (Talking about Men) that are more knowledgeable in terms of Aqeedah. This guy talking about "I am the most handsome!" do not want to see this childish behavior on topics that are so serious today!

The guy is being attacked for saying he wont marry a divorcee....And calling it insecurity. He can choose what ever he wants!

I’m from southern Kurdistan so I can talk about the cultural aspect of it and yes divorces are frowned upon but maybe not as much as the desi’s which they made it seem super frowned upon And my personal opinion I don’t think it’s a bad thing because some people want to get divorced for no reason or for the simplest things

Thanks ali bro.❤

Been trying to comment on your Jeffery marsh video... Cannot seem to comment... Maybe youtube have shut down the comments on that vid. I STAND WITH YOU AGAINST THESE CHILD PREDATORS. no matter what my background, beliefs etc etc

Brother Gabriel seems very wise.

Guy with red jacket acted cringe

Am watching the marriage document through Ali's talk🎉

Salam Brothers & sisters this is some interesting topics I have soo many questions to ask in that episode

The reality is no one is forcing anyone to get married to a divorcee or a widow ( man or woman ) it’s when people get mad when people say they have a preference which isn’t wrong at all but the issue is when they start to shame widows and divorcees saying oh they are “used “ which is ASFAGFRIALLAH

Inshallah I hope Haloo and Gabriel make more appearances on the show 🤞

Mashallah interesting discussion

Really enjoyed this episode mashaAllah nice to hear the sisters opinions too 💯💯

I'm a divorced man, I asked for the divorce and I'm happily divorced. Because I am happily divorced I won't shame someone else for it. It makes no sense, and she should be ashamed of it. Only allah swt can judge, it is not up to us to judge or have a small mindset, but if you judge someone based on that, then it tells me more about you than me

In somali culture we married divorcee bcz we believe divorce came in so many different ways it's not always women's fault but it's always almost the lack of responsibility of men

Very much appreciate the platform for this topic of discussion and it’s great to hear a variety of opinions. I hope you don’t mind me mentioning some constructive criticism. Just the interrupting during the conversation was quite distracting on occasion, and it would have been useful to hear the range of opinions fully.

Great show. Interesting to see modern view of marriage and relationships from Muslims instead of the redpill community and feminists

Just a thought, there are many many aspects missing from this discussion. One main one was compassion and tawakul. You do your best and whatever happens after that is written in fate. Noone goes willingly in marriage hoping it will end. That being said, a further few issues need to be raised: 1) narcissistic abuse in a marriage, unlike domestic abuse (from either men or women), is a totally different ball game here because this type of abuse is pure torture and the perpetrator is very convincing to others so its not as easy as vetting someone for marriage its more complex than that. It's hardly mentioned, hidden or brushed aside when looking at proposals and its a big issue. Something to highlight. Divorce let alone marriage is complete torture for the victim as there is manipulation from families involved aswell. And yes, sadly the blame shifts entirely on side because the perpetrator has "set up" the smear campaigns long before. 2) The discussion would have been useful to highlight the differences in sharia courts in the US, UK and elsewhere etc. Being heard as a woman is an entirely different kettle of fish. If a women has been taught to stay silent and bear with it and that whatever stays in the home, stays in the home then here people are automatically could cast blame on her because she wouldn't speak up when it's a matter about honoring family. Respectful men may have a similar issue too. Divorce courts and BME-run domestic violence agencies come with their own judgements and preconceptions that they put on the both men and women and miss upholding their honor during the process. 3) having valid reasoning for divorce. Understanding the 3 talaqs at once from the men, is a practice that needs to be analysed and addressed etc. The process is easier for a man to divorce and harder for a woman. Or even mentioning about high and low mahrs etc DIVORCE IN ISLAM IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PROCESS TO THE WESTERN PROCESS. So the stats of western society are meaningless to begin with. Process for khula is not lightly and is very lengthy. Some sisters are abused within the system or abuse the system. 4) a big issue that was missed is sometimes neither even the man or woman are to blame, people do separate amicably with NO hatred as they may not be compatible 5) divorced women can also be preyed upon, especially when she has been taken out of the marital home. Many men treat these woman as garbage astagfirullah. This was not mentioned either. Why is protection of sisters not being addressed in this episode? What if their own sisters and mothers got divorced, what would these men do? Re-marrying could be a safer option. How do we formulate co-existence and strengthen tribes amongst Muslim communities in this day and age if we leave many people unmarried? Isn't it fard kifayah? The prophet saw and sahabah did not marry for themselves, they married to STRENGTHEN tribes, bonds between Muslims and multiply Muslims. If we all married from desire and for self gaining reasons. We are doomed as an Ummah and we will then be looked at as an uncivilised community whose men marry based on their fitrah and whose women continue to struggle battling accusations even if they are pure. I think mohammed hijab would have been key to this discussion- he would have brought more depth to the conversations MashAllah

I have known some cases where polygamy is not practiced properly, & their is also of hidden pain involved in these kinds of marriages!