Xenophage Alien Bloodsport - The Worst Fighting Game 

What if the reason why there's a human man and woman on the roster is because the guys running the show actually believe that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?

I'd hate to be named champion, only for literally the next guy to be named grand champion

When I was a teenager, my best friend and I picked up Catfight, an all-female fighting game for the PC, and when we brought it home, despite having all the requirements met, and finding a patch available for it, we couldn't get it working at all. We eventually took the disc and ran over it with my car's tires multiple times, just to try and get some enjoyment out of it. Years later, I actually did play it thanks to emulation, and it was the absolute WORST fighting game I had ever played. If Catfight can't take Expect No Mercy's top spot, nothing will.

Love how they chose the name “Mouth” for an alien whose most distinctive feature was its multiple hand-like appendages.

I like the character designs. Much cooler than "human with slightly different head" that most media uses for "aliens".

I remember taking a game design class at a local community college when I was a kid. It was a very intro level course but the professor was a cool old dude who liked to talk about Zen. One day I told him I wanted to make a fighting game, and he just started laughing and said, "Here's a Zen Koan: no man can make a fighting game, until he first fails to make a fighting game." I think about that quote a lot watching this series.

I love how there are all these weird sorta interesting aliens and also a lumberjack and office worker woman.

I feel like, in a different timeline, we should have a very bad Cannon pictures movie adaptation of this game, starring Michael Dudikoff and Cynthia Rothrock.

Matt should try out "Battling Butlers" for DOS. It is a fighting game where you can play a telephone, a door, a card, and other objects. It is truly horrible. Especially the hit detection.

Matt, you just solved a years-old quest for me: when I was a youngster, I remember visiting a friend of my brother's and he showed us a fighting game which had an inflatable dummy in it. I took it for a boss, and have searched countless times for it in lists of weird PC button-mashers! I guess you just solved it for me, my friend! Stay amazing!

I randomly yell out "i have seen the amateur and it is you" thanks to these vids

i actually quite like the visual style and the non-human character designs tbh. the aliens have creative designs and there's a nice artstyle, almost clay-like.

A Barney parody is such a deeply Web 1.0 thing to have in a video game.

Obviously there a lot wrong with this game, but I actually think the alien design is pretty cool, especially in that it branches out beyond basic humanoids.

It wouldn't dethrone Expect No Mercy, but have you seen Iron and Blood: Warriors of Ravenloft? It was given a D&D theme at the last minute, and the multiplayer controls rely on using the keyboard, and if both players try to use a special move at the same time, it toggles full screen mode.

I will never get tired of hearing I HAVE SEEN THE AMATEUR AND IT IS YOU, if I'm completely honest. That line is so tremendously cheesy that it's somehow perfect in every way.

Really enjoy the monster design in this one... even squid. It looks like someone wanted to do suitmation but could only afford handpuppets. Also always asking for Heavy Nova, Black Hole Assault, and Battle Fantasy!

It will be a somewhat sad day when/if Expect No Mercy gets dethroned as the Worst Fighting Game... ...because then we may no longer hear the glorious declaration that is "I have seen the amateur, and it is YOU!"

It's a bit hard to be mad at the training mode when just hearing you talk about made me burst into laughter lol. Feels more at home in a troll game that has a training mode for some reason, but it's still hilarious

I've been waiting for this one since the first episode of this series. I played the demo countless times but when I got the full version it didn't even boot up no matter how many different computers I tried it on.

Dear god... I had this game on the family PC. My dad loved to pick up PC games on clearance racks all the time, and this was one of those... Gems.

Finally, competitive xenophobia. ...feel free to take that out of context!

I've learned one thing and one thing only from Worst Fighting Game. And that being who the amateur is.

Not gonna lie, I actually love how most of the cast are non-humanoid monsters. If we ever do discover aliens, realistically they're probably going to look something like Worm - and that thing is in a fighting game. Just seems crazy when a character like Motaro just doesn't seem feasible in modern MK.

Okay, but this definitely has the BEST fighting game name, right?

Oh those graphics take me back to a beautiful era of DOSjank. I remember playing whatever stuff my dad took home from the bargain bin. Apogee really should have stuck to publishing boomer shooters and platformers, though.

I actually kind of like some of the alien designs.

hot take: i actually like the majority of the alien designs, even the weird fleshlight leg thing i just love when aliens actually feel....well, alien

the fact there's graphics scaling inherently puts this 3 trillion leagues ahead of Expect No Mercy lmao

Matt, I always appreciate how much work you put into these (and your editors and artists!) The deep cuts and dives and attempts to contact people directly make your stuff stand out. Also you know that Wikipedia is not a valid source. Some folks haven't figured that out, yet.

I have to have seen that "oh no" clip posted in so many places, yet I never knew it was from this game this says a lot about the game before even getting that far in, I think

Still can't wait for the day Matt decides to get to Heavy Nova. Sure, the music was servicable, but I feel like that's not enough of a saving grace as everything else probably matches, if not surpasses, Expect No Mercy in terms of being garbage. Like, it has a stamina gauge like in that other fighting game you covered that I'm blanking the name on right now, except it takes forever to recharge and once it runs out you're basically a sitting duck. Not to mention the AI makes most SNK bosses seem fair in comparison because it just spams the cheapest tactics ever.

Man, it makes me happy but also sad to see Xenophage here. I remember playing it a lot when I was a kid. I honestly didn't expect Xenophage to enter the competition for worst fighting game... It easn't really the best game, but I think also far from the worst. Argo's lack of experience with making fighting games shows but they still did somewhat well with what they had (which Matt also addresses in the video), I think it just kinda sucks that every fatality (or, well, "Meat") move is a decapitation with no other variety to it. I remember having fun with this game, it has its flaws but it's at least serviceable as a fighting game. Oh and also, just a random piece of information... Blarney is actually the best character in the game. While he has the thing where he falls down and never gets back up again so he turns into a punching bag if that happens, he's also able to completely fill the screen with projectiles. He only has one attack, which is releasing that heart, but he can spam it nonstop to the point that the opponent is completely unable to do anything else.

It's probably just me but I feel like Matt really loves fighting games.

The human/humanoid characters look so terrible. At least the alien creatures and monsters look interesting even if they’re terrible compared to other fighting games

genuinely think we're running out of stinkers that could genuinely be worse than expect no mercy ...still. Pray for Death, Catfight, and Capital Punishment are titles i'm expecting to see someday.

Say what you want, but the finishers were kinda -neat- meat

As another potential candidate, I remember I always wanted to give Battle Beast a try, but just couldn't find it anywhere. Apparently I dodged a real bullet there, so maybe give that one a shot?

so... judging by the music you used... are we getting a Cosmic Carnage/cyber brawl review? That's a game that had some cool ideas with okay-ish application. Like how you had 8 dudes, but with customizable move sets really helped out the cast.

The universe at work. This morning I woke up and in my head had "I have seen the amateur and it is YOU!" Rolling around my head. Next thing you know...

I would be curious how a reboot would redesign each alien into a more appealing and unique way

I started playing Crystal Caves last summer/fall and it was one of those games that, much later, becomes your defining game memory of that season. It was starting to get frosty at night and the leaves were turning and falling. And most nights i found myself trying to puzzle out the solution to a Crystal Caves level. I love how it had a toon vibe and brite colours but was fairly hardcore. Several times I had to restart a level because i accidentally blasted ONE brick which formed part of a one way staircase at the end of the level. That or knocking out a poison snake in a narrow hallway that forced me to take poison damage later. It had some pretty deep strategy for being such an early game

I find some of the options here to be pretty novel, especially codes for unlocking the bosses for free play. If you consider games like Smash Melee, you have to go through a decent bit of effort to unlock every character, technically remedied in Brawl by having every character fight appearing after a set number of Smash games played. Having a simple code would be pretty handy for tournaments.

5:43 Whenever I see this title this instantly pops into my head. The fate of the world is on his shoulders and his reaction is that of having just run onto light traffic on the ride home.

I see that you put some Cosmic Carnage music in this video. That game is prime material for this series. Hope to see it in here eventually.

Perhaps FX Fighter is coming soon to this show? I have deep, buried memories of that game. Imagine Virtua Fighter, but without the charm.

The way the camera zooms so close reminds me of how people do camera work on TikTok with the headtracking

9:08 This deserve an honorable mention only for the kick-ass music!

Squid guy looks like a cross between Patrick Star & Zoidberg...

This is slowly becoming my fav series of yours! I love learning about these obscure ass fighters.

I hope Matt covers Tattoo Assassins soon! It's in the intro to the series!

If you need another tag team to challenge Expect No Mercy, I nominate Celebrity Deathmatch. I just learned recently the PSX version was different from the PS2/Xbox versions.

I was waiting for a looooong tie until you cover this up man!

I remember seeing a screenshot of the Barney character a long time ago, but I had no idea what the game was, or if it was even a real game.

Could you perhaps take a look at VR Troopers for the sega genesis/game gear? I played it like once. I remember the controls changed with the difficulty on the genesis, and that you were restricted to 3 buttons on normal and above. And had to use actual button combinations to do specials where on lower difficulties they were each mapped to one of the 3 other buttons on the 6 button controller.

That moment when you realize that we aren't zoomed in on the screen for the purposes of the video, the characters are just that big 😨

You gotta do Doomsday Warrior. That game made Shaq Fu feel like Street Fighter 2 Turbo.

"worm, who, well I'm thinking the same thing you are" me: "weird looking baleful gigginox" "4 blue fleshlights duct taped together" me: "darn, I wasn't thinking the same thing at all"

I went on a take-your-kid-to-work-day with my dad and someone had this game installed on their computer, so I just played it all day.

Worm kind of reminds me of Allen Wrench. "I need tungsten to live! Tuuungsteeen!"

maybe "Shadow: War of Succession" will be the one to defeat Expect No Mercy

3:08 lmao that man is NOT happy.

Not gonna lie, I'm digging Spike's design! What can I say, I'm partial to all those long, spindly, spiky limbs. EDIT: Mouth too; dude(ette?) looks properly alien.

Oh my God you mentioned Night Raid! I played the shareware version of that game almost 30 years ago and couldn't remember the name of it. It was cool because after every level the guy in the bunker has a pizza delivered to him.

Reminds me of "Tripping the Rift". "The following fight is brought to u by Cosmico. We put quality in. Where it goes from there is anybody's guess."

Hey Matt, think you'll ever tackle the Virtual Fighter on Game Gear with it's story mode based on the 90s Virtual Fighter anime?

You know, I realized he hasn’t discussed Revengers of Vengeance yet for this series. Granted it is really obscure due to only being available on Sega CD and pretty rare find.

Have you covered "hey punk are you tuff e nuff" for the snes?

SNES Pit fighter is just sitting in the audience with the money in the bank case waiting to cash in and take down show no mercy...

There’s a code that makes Salary Selena grow when on screen? Uh… going to investigate this for science

I hate to imagine how broken the clown balloon might be in Saltybet

Gotta love that Galaxy Fight and Cosmic Carnage soundtrack

Selena's "hurricane kick" looks like a grand mal seizure.

6:58 Shoutouts to Barlowe's Guide To Extra-Terrestrials

My first thought when I saw the title was "Xeno... what"

3:26 Ralph Wiggum: "what is that alien doing to that woman" 7:31 "What is squid doing to that woman" 10:49 "what is bat doing to that woman" 13:42 "what is children's dinosaur doing to that woman" Ralph Wiggum: I saw the baby and it waived at me

AHA! THIS is where that "Oh no..." meme I've been seeing around came from!

Please, I need to know what the XACMAN minigame is listed in the cheats.

Does anyone know where 4:17 sound track is from? Sound so familiar.

Bobby Prince did a special song with lyrics that plays if you complete a particular character's finisher: "You beat me, I beat you, we are one unruly rogue's gallery...with a great big chew I bite into you, and so are you are mortally wounded..." Sadly, this was left on the cutting room floor. /false lore.

oh, that part about "resurrections" reminds me of a weird old arcade game, i forget the name... the playable characters were all giant monsters, "kaiju" sized. to finish off your opponent, you had to PIN him down...and KEEP him down. this seemed IMPOSSIBLE to do against ANY AI opponent! seriously, i knocked the enemy's health down to zero, then pinned him down, and he threw me off at least FIVE TIMES! THEN he pinned me down ONCE, and that was game over! that was SO unfair, i never played it again.

I've been waiting for this gem. I wanted to like it whilst playing the demo over and over back in '97.

oh, i used to have an Apple 2 version of Night Raid! one of the BEST tricks was hitting a paratrooper's CHUTE, making him FALL and CRUSH OTHERS UNDERNEATH! pretty fun, IF you had the option turned on that let you STEER your bullets AFTER firing. it was nearly unplayable without THAT.

which song did matt use for the outro?

I admit, when I first saw the title on the thumbnail. I thought that this was fighting game that held the Alien franchise licence. Until I found out it had nothing to do with the Alien franchise.

Squid looks like what an alien version of Char's ZAKU II could look like. And I regret making that comparison three times faster than a normal human!

What's the name of the song that plays over the end credits?

Wow, that's uh...very interesting of a gameplay and look. Well, there's always Vagrant Fighter FX if you'll check it out in the future.

I would love to see Matt tackle Battle of the Eras, which is another one of these DOS catastrophes, just....on a whole other level.

The aliens look like Great Value Brand Clayfighters

Finally! Now I don't need to pester you about making a video about this game. Will instead do it for Shadow: War of Succession and Tongue of the Fatman.

Criminal understating of Barney in this. Didn't even talk about how playing as him is insanely strong.

I felt like I had seen this game before on some fatality compilation video. The little "Meat!" voice line confirmed it. Fucking hell.

Hrm... prediction: we might get close on this one. It doesn't *immediately* stand out as worse, but woof, that's some rough footage you've got there.

You better believe I’d be playing the big orange octopus guy

When you're doing The Fatman for Mega Drive and Battle Monsters for the Saturn?

It's particularly unfortunate that this came out *after* OMF2097, which is still one of the best PC fighters ever made. And speaking of awful old sci-fi fighters, I'm surprised you haven't done Tongue Of The Fatman yet.

With obscure PC fighting games, any chance to look at FX Fighter?

You have to do “Fighting Masters” for Genesis!

Good to finally see this one. It's one I've been waiting for. I played the shareware of this back in the day, and have tried playing the full version a few times. What strikes me most about it is how absolutely unstable the game is to try to play. So. Many. Crashes. Though that may be more DOSBox than the game. But I remember even back when this game was new hating how it played. There's almost nothing good there. I didn't realize just how deep those menu options were, so clearly the developers did try. But the execution was massively flawed. I will admit, it is not "Expect No Mercy" levels though. Yee gods.