I disagree. I HATE being called miss. It’s patronising as a 5 year old girl is also a miss. So I prefer Ms. Soon, the only correct way to address me will be Dr. I think you should always ask. That’s the safest.
abby S I’m Jamaican. The first time we would ever try something like that, we would catch licks. Adrienne is lying because that is not a New York thing. Must be a Bronx, Hispanic or American thing.
I’m English and on the whole we just call older people by their first name. For my biological uncles / aunties, I would say uncle / aunty X until I was a teenager and then just use their name only. They didn’t care. Although I had an elderly Greek neighbour and I called her aunty, because that was her cultural preference. We never use ma’am in the UK.
Yes I agree wholeheartedly. I cant stand when young kids and teenagers call me by my first name..its so disrespectful...and a lot of it has to do with the parents and how they brought up their child
Yes! I live in the South, so most people like to be called Ma’am since it is taught to us since we are little as a form of respect. However, I have come across some women that take offense to it because it makes them feel old. It’s like, what do you do? 🤷🏻♀️😂
I would be so confused by y’all. I mean, is she REALLLY your aunt. It’s like your siblings, and aunts and uncles are always increasing by the day. Like I wanna know your family. I don’t wanna know your fake aunts and uncles and cousin and bro’s and sisters. Or “cousin brother”. Who is your REAL family dude?! 😂🤣
@@Sarah3944 Its our way of showing respect to our elders. And by knowing our real family? Lol, you'll never know unless we're like 'This is my ACTUAL aunt/uncle. Like, by blood' lol
Delenathewriter I guess I don’t like being deceived. And I don’t want to ask “is this your blood”? Lol. That would kind of be rude. But over time I am able to tell who is family and who isn’t. But it does annoy me. Like “call me Sarah”. I don’t need to be aunty. I’m still young. Don’t age me. lol
SarahA Idk dude it’s like when your uncle and dad fall out and don’t speak interact anymore or speak do you still call him uncle? Are you even close to your cousins bro??
I’m just like A. I call my mom “mom” and she doesn’t pay attention to me I’ll call her by her name. I don’t think it’s disrespectful. But with other women I’ll call them miss or aunt
@@aura5944 bitch manners is not the same thing as "reverence" as loni put it. I'm not gonna bow down to you because youre older than me. Being polite and having manners is NOT the same thing. Age doesnt determine respect. I respect everyone equally. Not gonna walk on eggshells avoiding calling someone by their name just because they're old and entitled.
I’m like Adrienne I don’t know if it’s an inner city girl thing, but I have never referred to my elders as mam and sir (that’s hella weird tbh). I did and do however say Mr. and Ms. if there is a distinct and noticeable age gap between me and said person.
Depends on what inner city. From Chicago and you have to put a handle the name. Either Ms, Aunt. Sounds same as Loni, my Detroit neighbor. We migrated from the south thanks to JC.
@Kayte Larsen I see calling people "Miss" and "Mr." like @Sasha Kimmy as just as polite as calling them "Ma'am" and "Sir". You were right that it is about how you are raised, but the rest of your comment was so unnecessary. There is not one singular innercity experience ma'am, and every area (urban, rural, suburban) has its issues. Some families are like Adrienne's and very casual, and it has little to do with where they are located.
Same here from Cleveland. We do Ms. and Mr. But didn't grow up with Sor or Ma'am. The military trained ne more on the Sir and Ma'am titles and living in the south now I see people prefer that. My kids friends can call me Mrs. first or last and some just call me mom.
Adrienne, you're fine! It's crazy how formal Tamera, her mama, and Jeannie's family are. LIKE WHY. Not every older person deserves respect. We are all people. We ALL deserve respect, doesn't matter what age you are.
In Spanish you have “usted” and that’s what I usually use for people older than me, unless they specifically tell me not to. In English I try to say ma’am and sir.
Nah, I prefer how the Australians do it. Everyone calls each other by the first name but it’s not out of disrespect. Instead it’s mutual respect among all, regardless of age. I hate when older people talk to me condescendingly just because I’m younger 🙅🏻♀️
yeah like why is saying someone’s first name disrespectful? you don’t like your first name? then change it but tf that got to do w me calling you MISS or MRS or MR?? absolutely nothing
I'm with Adrienne, I was raised in a New York/New England household and you just call people by their first names (except your parents). It wasn't till I met southern people and realized the whole MR and MRS thing is a serious thing they do.
Same! I joke with my mom like that sometimes and she doesn’t mind🤣. But any other adults that aren’t in my family, I say “Mr.” “Mrs.” “Ms.” “Ma’am” “Sir”
I'm from Alabama and we do the same. But the only time I called her by her name as a joke was in front of grandma because you can't beat me when she's around!👵💃
So get what you all of you are saying. Made us laugh Adrienne when you said you didn't know what to say! Great energy every time. Thanks for inspiring us, ladies
I love this conversation and hearing about where each of the hosts come from and their culture. I’m happy Adrienne was so real about it even though she was the odd one out.
@@ohitsnotme9056 Not in a school/collage environment no we call teachers Mrs, Mr, Ms or sister(if it's a nun teaching) insert last name(sometimes a teacher will ask or let you call them by their first name but only if they say you can) or if its a male teacher sometime's sir which is a habit that can't be broken even if your gone from school if someone asks about your old school or you meet an old teacher your always calling them that even as an adult. Also if we dont know someone and trying to get their attention we call them Sir or Ms but if we know your first name we are going to call you by your first name everytime. Sorry if its a bad example im not really good at explain our ways someone can correct me if i'm wrong or explain it better to ya.
I don’t get this. I’m English and don’t understand why they need to call you anything? Just be like “is there anything I can help you with?, have a nice day” etc
@@quinnquazy876 depends on the tone, really. i called a racist white co-worker in her 30s " yup! mamma of course", with a serious face.i knew i was being extra shady and i also knew that if she argues she'll look loca.
This is me all the way. For me, respect isn't shown the standard stereotypical way. It's more about your attitude rather than your words. Just treat me the way you would treat anybody else. I'm not above you just because I'm older than you. I'm very big on equality.
I asked my mom about that cause we're Hispanic and she said she didn't care. It's just not a big deal to certain people Edit: should have added too that most Hispanic adults I've addressed don't really mind. Unless they state they wanna be called Sr. or Sra. I say their names
I don't think people in the carribean spanish speaking countries emphasize "usted". They really refer to them as "tu" to everyone. For the older one, they have respect but do reallly emphasize "usted".
Yes. But during the great migration in America in the early to mid 20th century, Black people migrated to other regions and a lot kept the way they spoke... like my grandmother. My mom and my sister and I were born and raised in Michigan. Instead of saying yes ma'am to my mom and grandma, I just say yes grandma or yes mom.
Luka Lakicevic she did not go to school in Houston. At least definitely none of her formative years. I’ve never heard her mention Houston and she doesn’t sound like she’s from Houston at all
Luka Lakicevic also I remember her always talking bout growing up in the Detroit projects and how her nickname is Detroit Debby as he stripper name or alter ego or something
I did that to my mom once by accident. I just wasn’t thinking bout all of that. I almost got my face smacked. I caught myself and like oh snap, no wajt mommy!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 idk bout y’all but don’t play with an asian mother 😂😂😂😂😂
Same! My family is very informal. My grandma does not let my mom call her mom, she likes to be called by her first name "Betty." When someone wants me to refer to them a certain way, I will. Otherwise, I will just naturally call someone by their name.
Yeah it usually just makes me say, oh you can call me _____, that's my name when people say miss or ma'am to me or I make a joke like I'm not an officer in the military call me by my first name. I kinda hate when taxi/lyft/uber drivers do that.
I’m with Adrienne I’m from the east coast and we hardly ever call anybody miss or Mrs. But I can also be because my mom is West Indian and I would call aunty or uncle.
I was raised like Adriane. I call my Mom by her first name sometimes, we are very relaxed in our relationship. I will say yes ma'am and no ma'am to her when appropriate though. Everyone's relationships with their parents is different, don't feel bad Adriane! I think these are 2 different situations in my opinion. With others I always pay reverence to my superiors and elders. I will say Miss and their first name if I do not know if they are married and I say yes ma'am and no ma'am everytime.
Where I’m from it’s very respect to say yes ma’am and no ma’am! People always tell me my manners are great and will take me far in life!! I would never call an adult by their first name.
Small confession: When I was younger I thought my mum’s name was mum, I didn’t think she had an actual name and then when other kids did it as well I thought all mothers have the name mum. I learnt, my mum had an actual mum cox she had to be called something else before she had me. I don’t ever call my mum by her a ACTUAL name, that’s be a quick death, HELLLL NAHHHH
JasmineN Williams HAHAHAH that’s kinda how I also realised as well, and it all started to make sense. But for the longest time I didn’t think ‘mum’ was a title
Really thats stupid I would never call an elder by their first name. I would never call my parents or older relatives by their first names its weird. I don’t get it whats the big deal if some says ma’am it clearly means that they are insecure about their age. You don’t call a teacher or a professor by their first name.
This is such a interesting conversation to me. Here in Sweden we always call eachother by first name. Our parents and grandparents are the only exception. Like we all have the same ”status”. We show respect to elders in other ways, like behaviour. Its interesting to hear about difference in culture. 😊
Me as a New Yorker like Adrienne, speaking for myself I don’t call people ma’am or sir, doesn’t mean we don’t respect elders, how people in the south view respect is different than how people in NYC view respect because courtesy and verbal communication is different everywhere you go.
I’m malaysian we call people older than us “uncle” or “aunty” or “abang” (older brother) or “kak” (older sister) Regardless if we’re related by blood or not 😅
Brought up in South Africa but my dad is American. When I spoke to my mom and dad, I could say stuff like ‘yes mom’ or ‘yeah dad’ and they were fine with it. All other adults were called Auntie and uncle 😂
Me too Adrienne but I’m from Massachusetts. But I’m with Tam and Jeannie about answering your parents with respect and not calling them by their first names.
Omg Adrienne has be f’n hollering right now like she is legit confused pobrecita 🤣🤣🤣💙. I was raised in the south with a Puerto Rican mom and a Black father so I got used to say ma’am, mr, misses and always the last name of the person.
I remember the first and last time I said, what!?!?! My lip looked like it swallowed a soft ball! 🤣😂🤣😂 now I get pissed when kids answer, WHAT!?!? to anybody! Lol
I had a man in his 60s get angry with me for using the term ‘“Sir” I was about 19. He wanted me to use his name Dori which I assume was short for Dorian. So that is what I did when I took the bus... I messed up a few times though and he became irritated with me....(he was the driver so I saw him often) It was strange because in southern families the terms sir or ma’am are used. I do think some seasoned people take it to the extreme with their outraged attitudes though....I think some people come off as haughty or elitist which is not ok. it’s as if these people think their age makes them superior or more valuable. However if u read scripture, Jesus seems to have a higher regard for children. Tamera’s mom kind of came off haughty. Tamera didn’t mean to offend her....it was in jest. Tamera knows ur her mom and u are a ‘mama’. It seems to be more of an ego thing and less of a respect issue because respect is in how u treat people, whether u are truthful, kind and considerate not in what titles u use when referring to them.....I can use the term sir or ma’am because u forced me to but that doesn’t mean I respect u as a person. If Jesus answered to His name who am I to be offended when someone uses mine?
Growing up I was always taught to call older people ma'am or sir. It's something I've just always done. I think the ways in which you were raised become intuitive and second nature.
Also living in Norway. You are right we do call people by their first name why else would you have a first name if nobody is going to use it. BUT you are probably young because when i was little we called our teacher frøken we could not call her by her first name. So its a respect thing from the old days. In Norway we dont respect anyone anymore 😂 so it died out 😆🤭
@@beyonceschild Haha i remember one guy did that in school and filmed it. Not my school but a american school, the video is from RU-vid. It was so funny to see their reaction 😄
I'm with Adrienne. Respect between two people should be equal. That's not really how I was raised but found a lot of older people abuse that 'respect', become entitled and want to overpower you. Just because of their age. It has nothing to do with the character of the older person, we MUST obey.. um no, I'm my own person. I respect you, you respect me. If you PREFER to be called a certain name then I'll oblige, but I don't think it has anything to do with respect.
Mexicanos are the same we say “USTED” (older you, shows respect) & “TÚ” (younger you) I was raised just like Tamara no “huhs” “what?” & “yeaaaah mom” 😂
AndreaGomezGuerra I’m not Latina and I’m 100% with Adrienne. I grew up calling my parents friends by their first names and I always say what to my mom. That’s how I answer the phone when she calls.
ibo I’m from an Albanian family but I was born in America. I call my grandma and grandpa the translation in Albanian and I call my aunts and uncles teze and daje. How do Albanians born in Albania refer to people?
Ana Licollari I wasn't born in Albania, but when we visit there our Family the strangers always say to older people like Auntie/Uncle or even like cute nicknames like my soul, love or heart.
When I lived in New York, I would call my parents friends by their name and they were fine with it but when I moved to Georgia I realized they used a lot more manners and I slowly started saying ma’am or ms/mr and I liked it, it’s way more respectful.
Ms. Adrienne, I was born and raised in New York and I was taught to say Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc. Therefore, I think it is all about your upbringing and how you were raised. God bless you, Ms. Adrienne!
