You Come Second to the Narcissist More Than You Know 

The regret of being involved with a narcissist is never ending during the relationship and after separation. It was, without a doubt, the worst decision I have ever made. It has literally affected my entire life for decades.

No boundary recognition. No emotional empathy. No accountability. Huge sense of entitlement. The narcissist will never wake up one sunny morning and say to them self, "My God, what a complete ass I've been." "What a complete failure I am." Not bloody likely. They call it a personality disorder because it is one. It's not just in mythology.

One of the most important things I have learned about narcissists from The Ultra is that very few of them actually excel at anything.

Oh and how. This was very insightful. I've seen it all. Finishing a whole pot of food in front of me. Blowing up a month's worth of electricity in 3 days. I could go on. It's really hard to believe they aren't doing it deliberately. Such selfishness in supposed grown ups is beyond comprehension. Even toddlers know to share.

Anyone look back and think, what a fool I was to be taken in by the narcissist? I could kick myself every day with regret😢

The narcissist reminds me the kindergarten age children. They are first, it’s theirs, you are it first, it’s not yours. They don’t get what they want. They bite. Children eventually learn their are others and how to share.

My experience has been the narcissist does not hear you when you are soeaking unless it’s about them. And when it’s not about them they don’t hear you and are already thinking of the subject that concerns them.

I started calling myself Priority #83695. The sad fact is you're not a priority at all. You're either on the radar because something is needed, or you don't exist.

Thank you HG.... It's utterly heartbreaking to realise the position second.... Even though they can't help it, it's still heartbreaking, confusing, and the boundary crossing can be so nvasive.

So true HG, those involved with narcs lose all trust because if the abuse and they imagine wrongdoings by them. It’s what happens in abusive relationships when trust is gone.

I think the lack of empathy links up with the missing conscience. An active conscience is the basis of all human relations and attachments and therefore love itself. Without a conscience regulating our behaviours towards others, someone can do whatever they like regardless of how it effects orhers

Thank-you HG. Very well explained and crucial to understanding that one's ensnarement was never personal: if it were not us, it would have been another appliance. And this, in turn, highlights the importance and simplicity of "no contact", because the narcissist will then look elsewhere for a target who is easier to control.

I remember this feeling, thinking they did it on purpose the feelings of anxiety and confusion. Thank you H.G. you have helped me understand the reasons why.

Thank you HG for another dose of cold hard logic

Why did I think of recent news report on a lioness entering a gated property to take a 75kg Rottweiler (that was a pet) when HG talks about the narcissist and the food ie not stopping to think because they were ensuring their needs were met. Primal. Survival.

This all makes perfect sense. Quite shocking to recognise some of these narcissist behaviours recently described, HG. Territorial behaviour, for example. Plus not wanting to meet friends or family. If that couple are not living together, then that's not really a relationship, is it?

My ex-husband did that exact same thing with the food example. I can not even count the number of times over 30 years, I've had to go to the store to replenish what he ate! Whole pies, not with a slice taken out but the eaten from the center outwards! With the fork left in the pie or even a plate/platter of food! He also ruined our finances hundreds of times over 30 years, most often during the holidays

I worked with a narcissist. She tells lies and gossips. She desperate tries for 7 years to get rid of me. What a B$&@h! Took me a couple months to realize how jealous she was of me. I’ll be polite, but never talk about personal things with her.

Thank you HG❤ Actually knowing I'm not on the (possibly a Narc) family Narcissist's radar is reassuring.

Brilliant explanation👏

Congratulations for such incredible U-Tube posts! Very BIG fan here. About This One’s Wife (TOW)..: The Nigerian First Lady’s commentary.. in my estimation, definitely refers to TOW, because of the proximity, and in the same breath’s of TOW’s name after discussing “nakedness”. She may have been “forced” to clarify matters under TOW’s pressure to save face - but to any normal onlooker the message is clear. TOW can fool some, but cannot fool the great silent majority. Then comes the celebration of her 43% Nigerian heritage… and her new found “home”. My opinion is that TOW is reverse prejudiced against “whites”, as: TOW does not celebrate the 57% of her white heritage, basically deleting this altogether; TOW definitely does not like the “white English Monarchy”; TOW has written off her marriage to “white” Trevor Engelson, whom she could not control; TOW has written off ALL her “white” relatives, Father, brother and sister; TOW relates publicly ONLY to her “black” mother; TOW only likes “white” Harry, because she can fully control him, and he’s the source of the “title-jam” that keeps her elevated and relevant; I believe the reverse prejudiced against “whites”, could be interesting material for a study in retrospect based on facts, as to what her behavioral patterns prove. Please keep your podcasts going.. Love your properly spoken English language, without “hums” and “you knows”, and with the incredible professional insights on how Narcissists behave.

Interesting!🙂You have a thing for household appliances. So the scenario is the narcissist talks to someone else and completely ignores you or pretends to, what do you do? 1. I observe them for a while. 2. I try to understand the gist of the discussion. 3. I look at the clock. 4. I no longer make any sounds and take long breaths. 5. If he asks me why I don't talk and starts following me around like a 🐇: It's total WAR.⚔ Never make the fifth mistake. However I improved, I decided to declare total war on the first mistake, less stress.

Thank you! 👏❤️

I think the first question to ask on a date..if one of them is not a narcissist..ask each other are you a narcissist..if one of them answers yes..than run for hills....but if both are narcissist...enjoy the date and see who can gather the most fuel..now that! would be fun to be sitting at the next table and listening to them

Have to disagree. In my experience. You come last.

Some people are narcissists. Some people are just obnoxious.

How many tens of thousands of toxic or abusive relationships could have been stymied or prevented if this video had been played in every school in the world?

HG do you think David Goggins a narcissist? When he says things like "taking souls" sounds like a euphasim for what you call "fuel"

Thanks HG!

HG Tudor whispering love poetry into Meghans ear.

When in a relationship with a narc, after the damaging behaviours occur one too many times - the normal person has a hard time not looking at them with utter disgust, if they can bear to look at them at all...when the victim wakes up - whose the truely injured?

TRU

Watching every non Meg video, fed up of the lady.

HG, if you met and knew MM and are an aristocrat, why hasn't she launched an attack against you? After all you say that you are a member of group that is approximately less than 10 thousand people out of a population of over 50 million (you said that your family is listed in Debrett's or Burke's). As spiteful as MM is, it would appear that she has missed your channel, which you would say is highly improbable given her and This One's interest in the internet. The only reason would appear to be that you have something worse on her than her doxing you. As one of you, it would seem that she considers herself bullet-proof. Why, if you don't mind me asking, has she let you skate on trying to tear you apart with no defense? She appears to be a completely scorched earth type of individual, yet she has never mentioned you. Isn't that counter intuitive to the species behavior? Be well.