Smear Campaign: Turn Narcissist's Flying Monkeys Against Him/Her 

How sad to have people in our lives we have to play games with to stay safe from. Good to have a plan but so sad. Thank you professor Vaknin

EXACTLY! 👏👏👏👏👏👏 After a smear campaign, I know very well who are my true friends! 💯 Good for me! I am not naive anymore.

I just reported the narc to the Board of Professional Regulation. He lost his license to practice.

One thing to add: narcissists don't seem to think too far ahead. They have no long game, use that to your advantage.

I'm going through a6yr attack at work.I have a dangerous fan. The police, lawyers are now involved. Her threats have changed now to a palpable fear. They lie. They forget the past. They are impulsive. They are at the end of the day dangerous to themselves. I went and is going through an extremely stressful life event. But thanks to Dr. Vaknin, my psychologist,lawyer and so on, I'm learning to turn my fear into power. Good luck everyone. Stay strong.

Yout advice can save lives!!! So many ppl have committed suicide bc of narcissists amd especially if they wage a viscious smear campaign on top of the abuse they inflict in person. Look at rhe highly publicized case of Mica Miller. Its good that ppl are finally understanding the seriousness of what they do amd it almost always includes them breaking the law. They hv no regard for their victims amd no regard for the law

I didn't know anything about narcissists but I instinctly knew he was trying to get me back. I used the grey rock technique and went no contact. Worked like a charm.

How can we recover when the smear campaign continues and by your family. In some countries, it's a nightmare to have your parent against you. I don't respond but I cannot get rid of the sadness. What have I done to deserve all these lies, insults, violence, the humiliations. They took away everything I owned and I bounced back and they're still trying to hurt me. I was stupid because I believed my parent would be more kind with age hahaha what was wrong with me? I only gave another chance to someone who didn't deserve it and who broke me.

Thank you for explaining. My Previous Work Place was hell on Earth. Boss is an overt and his prime flying monkey an covert narc employed in HR. Never expierenced a more evil duo: Mobbing, Bullying, Lying, Micro Management, gossiping, Distrust. As soon as they come to the conclusion that the employee wont fit In, they instantly will lay the person off.

Only issue for me is that smear campaigns are fine for real friends/ fake friends situations. But there are also many people who only know you slightly, they are ‘neutrals’ in a way. And narcissists target these people… ‘turning a neutral into an ally’ - creating enemies for you where before they were just people you knew. This is not harmless.

You’re right, Sam! Nonetheless, many victims of narcissistic abuse don’t want anything to do with fake. To survive we have to relearn a lot of things.

They will seemingly, innocently get in your way and have you tripping over them when they see you are busy and distracted with your hands full.

I like the part about true friends not believing what the narcs say about the person they recently discarded. My mom just discarded my sister and I don’t believe anything she says about her.

Don't play the game of the chain of fools. No contact is the only way out never engage in their nonsense keep your sanity and move away and never turn back. That's my advice and it works wonders. No need to get involved in their dirty cunning game for this is poison for your soul.

Useful advice that makes life easier is a gift. Thank you Sam.

Thank you!!!! I never even think of being on offensive. This is good info. You know EXACTLY what you are talking about!

Thank you Sam. You are very helpful. My mother was a narcissist and I have attracted both male and female narcissists in my life because of it. I'm currently dealing with a smear campaign from my ex boyfriend which is horrible. Thank you for your advice. Deborah

The actual origin of the term flying monkeys. Not what I was expecting. Thanks for the clarification.

Thank for setting a path. Can't believe this happened to me. THANK YOU

Narcissists already love and want to play with you. If we do these things, the narcissist would go crazy with agreat joy.

The abusers of my childhood were so violent, it caused trauma induced amnesia. It lasted for about 16 years and they convinced my parents, drs, police that I was crazy. At 16 a psychiatrist abused me psychologically and it triggered a massive amnesia in me. For the next 30 years my abusers got close to all my friends and convinced them I was crazy and that I fantasised about being abused... When Covid came and the masks were mandated, it massively triggered me (Suffocation was one of many torture tactics and there were many ways to suffocate and torture me) and then over a year, i came apart lost in somatic flashbacks, then the memories all came back one day in a horrible way, kind of like a machine gun of memory bullets. It took a year for most of them to come out, day after day. I opened up to a couple of friends but they made me out to be mad, I opened up to others and they also didn't believe me and treat me badly, even telling me "I was mad "and one said when I asked why he didn't believe me "You haven't convinced me enough" Saying it once was enough in my mind, but the he has a T-shirt that says "It's all about me!" I've just come out of another batch memories but now have put all the pieces together and see who has been smear campaigning me, and friends I've know for years I see now how they were trying to trigger me in group situations when my abuser was there- acting on her behalf to prove her "reactive abuse" was my disorder as I was unknowingly being triggered. My family knew about the abuse but chose to hide it and even got a policeman friend to come and give me a lesson as to what it would be like if I sought help again. I've a six" fracture on my skull from that and many broken ribs that went untreated. They have tried to push me over the edge again. I have cut off from everyone I know. It has been hard but for my safety. I've been off work for 9 months now and in therapy. Not sure I will trust anyone again.

If you have the time and inclination to discuss mob bullying at work, that would be an interesting topic.

Time is a scarce commodity. I'll invest it otherwise. I'll take action that's quick and snappy.....that saves my time for more productive activities!! I'll distance myself and cut off all contact with the narcissist and flying monkies.

Thank you so much professor. Much needed!

Thank you for your wisdom and support ❤ I’m so grateful for you 🙏🏽

I thought it was because of those monkeys that tricked prey into walking into packs of lions . Great video

Genius. Thank you for providing such useful information, giving a clear plan of action. Absolutely genius

flying monkeys are even worse than the Narc

Wonderful video. I have developed some of these techniques having been attacked. But it is good to hear this man lay things out so clearly and articulately. The thing that really helped in my case was the narcissist was full on savior complex mode, constantly virtue signaling, even talking in a "holier than thou" voice always trying to make everyone think she was so great which put me at a serious disadvantage because I am generally quiet and just do my work. So I was completely outnumbered and not the popular one being attacked by this jealous narcissist who smeared me for years. One day though, her narcissist rage came out, and she had a meltdown in front of everyone and the workplace cameras. Everyone saw the mask come off and years of her machinations instantly went down the drain. It was obvious the evil in that person, and all the flying monkeys were like... wait, he never did anything in regards to me but look at her! It was hard to sit there and let her spew her venom and not respond or cuss her out, but I am glad I kept my composure. What this man said about filming and documenting within the bounds of the law is true. I used to think cameras everywhere were too 1984 Orwell, but now I'm glad that attackers behavior can be recorded.

This is gold. Thank you professor Vaknin.

Thank you for changing the world for good through your hard work.

Very very good, on point. Best iv seen about this situation, you are very very good, on point, good words, good outlook, 100% pm point. And exactly what I'm looking for. You have the answeres... Cope, awareness on an army of those, preperation, response. Agents into agents, blimey, yes, double agent, bullseye.

I always assumed that the term "flying monkey" originated in reference to the winged monkeys in "The Wizard of Oz" that carry out, en masse, the nefarious plans of an adversarial witch. The image of monkeys simply taking over the highest reaches of a structure the way Professor describes it is more apt and more chilling somehow.

It was so weird what happened to me yesterday and today... it led me to this video. For years, I've known a very mentally backward woman from church and organizations I have been active in. In the same groups, I became friends with a benign narcissist who fancied herself a great singer. This lady constantly turned people off by promoting herself at every opportunity. She is still doing this on social media, etc. and by showing up and grabbing the microphone whenever she has a toe in the door. She moved to another state and stayed somewhat in contact with me and in our last conversation we had a disagreement about something that had transpired at church AFTER she left with her of course, telling me how wrong my perspective was. When that conversation was over, I just reconciled myself to not trying to stay in touch with her anymore (easy since she lives far away). Yesterday, I get a letter from a flying monkey (mentally challenged lady) announcing the fact that it was the Narc's birthday (implying I should contact her). The flying monkey invites me to watch the Narc's TV show which is an online thing I have no interest in watching. The desire for me to contact the Narc was so strong, the lady reiterated the information by leaving a message on my phone with implicit instructions to "call me back". I am angry about this (not being left alone) and called this poor lady back and listened to her promote the Narc, then I told her thank you for the information but I was too busy (with a new church) to get involved with what she wanted me to get involved with. I am absolutely sure there are several folks who want me back in their sphere of influence, but you have to be so careful not to habe their minions put words in your mouth. Happily, it is a benign situation. It is only bothersome, not malignant.

You just described the nursing profession, and the ward receptionist has been a flying monkey of the highest order in every single workplace I have seen in 30 years

Or... and hear me out here... you could leave the narcissist, and their Cadre of flying monkeys, behind.

Very good video! Omg this smear campaign is a crazy thing 🙈

Thank you so much 👍😊 So true 👍🙏

it worked, thank you very much -) I gathered so much evidence against the narcissist that it ruined them to the ground and in the face of the public with hard data, screenshots and recordings. It was worth it.

The narcs in my life usually Are Also their own flying monkeys. They come at me direct, when I'm in a hospital or incapacitated & too sick to fight anything. I'm trying to find outside resources/3rd party professional protection, & how to pay for it until I don't need to any longer. Thank you for your interesting, informative videos

I'm still with a covert narcissist for 30 yrs. He has been sending flying monkeys to my work, the women he s had sex with. No matter where I go they are everywhere. The reason I'm still with him is because of financial reasons. He blames his mom for me being stalked at work, he won't admit to it.

Good job professor. We need exactly this from You. Exact instructions for how to lead the battle. Because the world is a cruel place because of these people and battle is unavoidable if you dont want to be a slave. We need exact instructions for the battle, similar to the chinese The Art of War.

Thank you professor ❤❤❤

Brilliant psychological warfare. I’m watching these karmic narcissists fall like flies by applying these tactics.

I think this tactic works but I just can't do it...I can't even lie if someone asks me if they look fat in their jeans 😅

Important ist the workplace . Forget „love“

"Flying monkeys can be overturned/used" Well yeeeees, if you got days upon days of nothing else to do than speaking to dog poo.

Hell no im not doing all that lol its not worth all these games thats not what life and living is about but you wouldnt get it sam.. being a narcissist you all love playing games and get excited with this back and forth sneaky games

I’m so glad I got the originals on “Flying Monkeys”. Much more deep and profound

Very informative elegant awareness respected Sir!

Very informative and funny.

Maybe someone much more smarter than me could use these techniques.

the other day i got to work and the leader of my team, the boss and my coworker have been sitting in the office waiting for me, i got accused of some unspecific things, i listend and when the time was on me to talk i just asked, what spesific things did i do wrong? the awnser from my coworker was, do you expect me to tell you all the missdeeds you have done? I said, yes thats exactly what i want, tell me every little detail. No response, from my coworker, she just sat there and the topic was closed and we talked about other things. I hope i responded the right way. and thx for the video, i was thinking can i do a move? shall i do a move by myself? but now i just do nothing, do my work as good as i can and hope she will let me be in peace in future. what was facinating to watch thou was how she changed during the conversation, from confident in her bodylanguage to, idk how to say in english, it looked to me she crumbled.

Thank you Appreciate understanding Cleansing 😊 💗

Sir, you are a blessing of knowledge, thank you.

Best and so true message I have ever watched form you.

Honestly I need an example of how to feed the narcissist with wrong information .. like how and which kind of information?

Professor, your strategy sounds similar to what was sued against Sean “Diddy” Combs by Cassie Ventura’s lawyers. She and her attorneys knocked it out the park!

Most workplaces are the latter type

Wow. It was you Professor that coined the term!

I saw His flying monkeys on Facebook. It was very distubing because some were naked women in liciviscious poses.

What if ur husband has smear campaign for forty years and tells many bad things about you ? 😭 And u have no evidence that he is wrong 😭

Love the picture of the portrait 😄🙏

👌✨💛GOLD VIDEO💛✨👌

Good title 😊🙏👍

This happened to me

Thank you!

Narc 'wives' treat their 'husband' the way they think (wrongly?) that they need to be treated. This confuses the hell out of any pretty normal man, who might experiment with responding in kind, only to find that doing so doesn't help in the slightest. Or, maybe many of them really do want / need to be treated this way, whereas feminism says that this can't possibly be true -- again, confusion all round. Actually, if agression is coupled with coveying total self-control / self-containment at the same time, a narc 'wife' will like this as it helps her to control parts of herself that she believes she can't control on their own. But I don't like adopting a bad boy persona (what she calls 'Sergeant Major) to achieve some kind of stability, so this doesn't work for me in a different way. Narcissistic 'wives' look to their 'husbands' to fix all problems that they 'thiink' they can't (or don't want to / or shouldn't have to) fix on their own, or with any involvement / input from themselves whatsoever. Good men are always helping their wives whenever they can, as they can be very good at doing this, and so get great satisfaaction from doing so. But, some types of problem, escpecially communication problems, seem / maybe are actually impossible to fix without good enough cooperation from the 'wife', so wherever she sees this request / demand for cooperation as unreasonable / or beyond her capacity to help without her suffering some kind of mental breakdown, she may start aggressively insisting that her 'husband' fixes, on his own, her problems and/or his arising problems (all one's that she claims incessantly "she can't cope with", "as she's already close to breaking point"), with the help of the little information she CAN share without having a mental breakdown, where some of what she CAN share then turns up in the form of non-verbal communication. even non-verbal comunication (or even in dramatisation of her emotional state only) that's hard to read, or hard not to read incorrectly, or any information that, from her point of view, is needfully 'encrypted' (out of her awareness) -- hence a typical 'husband' complaint of being asked to mind read, although when some men get ever-better at mind-reading, then what they think they're then picking up typically gets aggressively denied (and then projected?), so this kind of problem is too tough for most people. But, note the following dialogue: "Cut the anxiety, Lisa" "I'm NOT anxious" "I KNOW you're anxious, but I have no idea why" She storms off in a silent huff. We reconnect somehow not much later, where it's instantly 2-way lovey-dovey !! My youngest son handles typical female insanity in his wife (and I'm not saying that many husbands aren't capable of insanity in similar or differring ways) by calmly and assertively repeating "I don't negotiate with terrorists'", which he claims always works, but never results in a permanent fix - so WTF is going on here? I think that from now on, I'll try saying to my 'wife' that there's no quick fix to this kind of problem, or comunication problems, as these kinds of problem can only be fixed in a large number of small postive / constructive steps (maybe triggering little brief upsets that can be recovered from quickly and easily) over an hour, or day, or week, or month, etc., (with a sufficiency of short or long enough breaks) and zillions of relationships all of our planet are struggling in the same way because one partner or the other insists on a quick fix, or otherwise a downing of tools, or a tantrum / hard for anyone to quell hissy-fit -- wish me luck -- or advise me otherwise !!

Why Sam? Why do they want to push you to suicide?

They bs get bored with the mask and revert to true colours. Iv been begged and then smacked in the mouth and floored

Brilliant!

Yes they do think farrrr in advance....they don't move on at all...not one that anyone has heard of moves on

Yes

26:31 ❤ what i did by nature

I wonder what your thoughts are on a societal level, think maga, Russian citizens, etc

YE$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Pronto PUP $alute$

People will kick you when you are down. They think you are a loser but they , in reality, are the real losers.

Thank you, very smart.

Narcissists could also operate as a collective/group with the connections to institutions of power. One of the most dangerous forms with an intricate network of flying monkeys.

A lot of times in the long term if you dont engage in a narcissists baiting or smear campaign they will usually trip over their own deception, it is only a matter of time. It is better to carry on and live life. Thank you for sharing

Most work places are organized around bullying. Especially workers in healthcare outside of big hospitals, especially mental hospitals, and especially among the women in these settings.

I have been doing this. Acting grateful and providing the flying monkey fake information, she now sends me their chat history and tells him about the information I provide her.

I'm only 6 minutes in and already see the extreme value in this video. Thank you, Professor!!!

All this is true. If you can’t remove yourself from the situation these tactics work. It’s the long game but your reputation will be somewhat better this way. The only one it won’t work on is primary supply.

Congratulations on being the one to coin the term, Flying Monkeys. It sure applies well.

Bravo! Finally a practical guide on countering smear campaigns. Dr. Vaknin, please consider further expanding on this topic. 🙏

There are a lot of components to this game I would really struggle to try to emulate, as presented it probably isn’t worth attempting to develop. The whole dishonesty thing and trying to appear “submissive” or otherwise “beneath” others are centrally contrary to who I am. Even so, I’ll certainly be thinking on ways to adapt my social style for parallel strategies to somehow retrieve information from flying monkeys. It certainly seems like a powerful skill. It’s definitely true that smear campaigns can be incredibly helpful for ascertaining which of your friends are actual friends who see and appreciate who you are vs which aren’t real. And I have certainly seen how “non-response” can not only end up the least-destructive option, but over time tends to turn more people to your side naturally as you simply allow the incongruence between the narcissist’s narratives vs what the flying monkeys directly observe with you grows. The narratives lose steam and along with it the hostility of the flying monkeys wanes. That works well enough for me in most situations. Although you really have to be prepared for the long game. Most people are sadly really susceptible to certain styles of suggestion that narcissists really excel at and are extremely persistent about.

Thank you for this information. Truly golden ✨️

When the narc returns they won’t apologise they just show up all sweet and nice….beware a snake 🐍sheds its skin and comes back as a bigger snake…. The flying monkeys are fooled like everyone they believe nothing is the narcs fault so they come and retrieve you for the narcissist…

So true! I don’t give a F what he’s said about me. I don’t talk to anyone who talks to him, anyway. I want to survive!

I am well into the first stages of this and have been for nearly 6 months when I decided the pain and cruelty as they carried on the work of the narcissist for him was enough. There are 2 main flying monkeys who are a couple (family ties and finances involved). They now believe that I have been firmly put in my place by their actions and that they have taught me a lesson. I'd been wondering how to proceed next and drip feeding false information is a great idea, although that will be quite difficult as they barely communicate. However, I've noticed that since they have started to believe that I'm compliant that they're becoming a bit more open with me. Looking forward to seeing where this goes next.

Beat them at their own game. Love it!! Thank you Dr. Sam!

making their 2nd narc supply radioactive by building alliance is a gamechanger

I have done this recently and it works a treat

Have you ever played dumb to someone who plays dumber than you and it escalates until it’s gets so ridiculous that you wonder how the other person can’t remember how smart the two of you used to be?

Thank you for this empowering video, Mr. Vaknin. A while back, I worked in one particularly toxic workplace that left me scarred for years from the sadistic bullying & smear campaign I received by one very corrupt co-worker. Looking back now on that period, I can see what truly sick & power hungry individuals the co-worker & some of the higher ups who enabled her were. At the time, I didn't know much about this topic of narcissism so I fell for all the traps the corrupt co-worker used to sabotage me. When I compare your assessments from other videos also, I strongly feel she had the triad personality traits. The top tier of evil I now know.

Very good video. Good descriptions. I have lived in the shadow of narcissism most of my life. Trying to figure things out. My x even turned my mother into a flying monkey. I was so stupid. I didn't even have to pretend. She knew I was being emotionally and physically abused but made it my falt. I lived with shame most of my life. That I was in some way a bad person.

That's okay, i have no friends anyway. I know the truth and that's enough. Im enough for myself. Dont need anyone to believe me.

Exceptionally terrific video

Birds of the same feather, fly together. Eagles, fly alone.